Today’s Thursday and I usually post an old picture for #ThrowbackThursday but today I’m doing an old website instead.
Remember Googlism? You’d put in your name and it would cross-reference the internet and find out what Google really thought about you.
I decided to revisit it today just to see what I’m up to now. A few of my favorites:
- Jenny Lawson is probably the only person who could ever understand Jenny Lawson.
- Jenny Lawson is an award.
- Jenny Lawson is a very strange girl who has friends in spite of herself.
- The Bloggess is who she is.
- The Bloggess is not a douche.
- The Bloggess is getting over this.
- The Bloggess is a guaranteed zombie.
- The Bloggess is certainly no Anne Frank.
- The Bloggess is obviously Team Jacob.
- The Bloggess is my copilot.
- TheBloggess is sooooooo not gonna like this copycat.
- TheBloggess is that katanas from Japanese zombies? Or swords that turn people undead when you kill them? Either way.
- TheBloggess is in the house.
- TheBloggess is on my ‘bloggerstosleepwith’ list.
- TheBloggess is in West Texas this weekend and that is where the storm is.
- TheBloggess is threatened by my beauty and success and threatened to “cut me bad” if I didn’t drop out of the scene.
Awesome. And how are you today? According to Google, that is?
I agree. You are not a douche.
Copilot – that’s a good one, I like. 🙂
Haaa! Guaranteed a zombie, well that’s that.
Team Jacob? I thought I knew you better Jenny.
Obviously you are not a zombie, you are a partially-deceased sufferer. (also, are you watching In The Flesh? AH-MA-Zing)
aaww now I’m going to be hooked on this! gives up real life
Google doesn’t know me at all. I’m not sure how I feel about that.
(Try just your first name. “Anna is one of two bears commissioned for two grownup bridesmaids.” ~ Jenny)
“TheBloggess is threatened by my beauty and success and threatened to “cut me bad” if I didn’t drop out of the scene.”
Well, that escalated quickly.
I would like to have a “The Bloggess is my Copilot” bumper sticker!
maybe you’re just threatened by my awesome beauty because you are a japanese zombie? or a katana? or a zombie-making katana?
I think you just broke Googlism.
WTF is up with that last one? I don’t believe that for a second.
Sweet you’re cutting bitches now? The Bloggess is so hood.
There probably needs to be a bumper sticker: “The Bloggess is my copilot.” 🙂
The Bloggess is totally my copilot.
Google says I am “not really well excepted in the society because it is pretty much non documentable”
The Bloggess temporarily crashed Googlism.
The Bloggess feels a bit bad.
The Bloggess should send flowers.
I do want to sleep with you!
I am picturing you as an award statue. One of those awkward looking ones though..
Google doesn’t know me either. I’m not sure whether I should consider that a life win or a total fail.
But really, of course you’re Team Jacob……OBVIOUSLY. 🙂
Yes, bloggess, you should only use your powers for good.
The bloggess is definitely in da house!
It said Google doesn’t know me. Fuck. I didn’t realize I didn’t exist!
ok wait, I did my real name and Google’s first response is:
(real name) is pregnant
Google just goes for the throat. God, I just found out I couldn’t have biological children this week, you’d think Google would be a little sensitive to that. God Google, give it a rest, or give me money for more IVF attempts, either way.
Apparently Google doesn’t know me either!
Well, to be fair…none of us could be Anne Frank.
It says I am a graduate of blank. Not the actual word blank..just a blank. I so should have gone to college.
My two favorites:
nancy is close to going to hell
nancy is the zetan emissary
Awesome. I’m bout to go googlism myself. But I doubt they will know that today I deep throated a camera and had my esophagus dilated because I guess the fucker is too skinny. Also, I got paid a few months ago to write a ridiculous script for a commercial to play during a porno and that came out today. It’s the single most embarrassing thing I have ever written, and that includes angsty poetry from when I was 14.
(Wait. Since when did pornos have commercial breaks? ~ Jenny)
My favorite of all time is the second-to-last one. I doubt any of my results would even come close.
“marcia is recognized as america’s dream coach”
And at first I thought it said couch and I was really excited. All I’d ever have to be is somewhere comfortable to park your ass.
JD Bailey is the creator of Honest Mom.
JD Bailey is an author.
That’s it. Not super exciting. But I’m pretty happy with those descriptions. 🙂
Apparently, I’m both unpretentious and outrageous. But with a rapidly approaching expiration date.
knighton is unpretentious
knighton is a throwback to early hollywood with dashing heroes
knighton is good friends with quakers chairman george reynolds
knighton is a good choice
knighton is into the classical/celtic tradition
knighton is six to eight months from execution at oklahoma state penitentiary
knighton is more outrageous than any of these things
Catherine is not evil.
Whew! I’m glad it told me that, I was getting worried. 🙂
Dan it, I just got my intenet back and I can’t googlism.
If that sounds serious its because it is!
“Sorry, Google doesn’t know golden xxxxxx.” lol
Well, at least you’re not a douche. And it’s now a documented fact. Awesome. I’d consider that a good day.
I love the guaranteed zombie. Since you asked, Kelly Fox “is trapped in the dungeon.” And Kelly Fox “is wonderful to watch.” And Kelly Fox “is no longer.” WHAT F-ING PSYCHO PUT ME IN THE DUNGEON TO TORTURE AND KILL ME? Oh wait. Maybe I’m “a graduate of texas a&m university” instead.
I’m pretty sure Google is saying you are the Oncoming Storm. Which is the best news I’ve heard all day.
Mine is kinda wonky because I forgot I share a name with a sports car. My favorite was “Elise is not street legal in the United States.”
Ok, Jenny…I think I’ve solved the weird dreams about my, David Tennant, and riding in the Tardis:
Cassandra is the pilot of oracle
Cassandra is named as next of kin in the appraisal of James Tarleton in 1735
I don’t think they were dreams…DAMN, there were so many things I wanted to do to David..I mean WITH David, not to…..
I still refuse to drop out of the scene, so you’ll just have to deal with my beauty.
I’ll cut you bad right back.
I must be Emily Dickinson because it seems to think I’m Nobody,
yup, googlism is pretty right about me:
-janice is a loud brat
-janice is a woman who accidentally subverts the ideals of modern day heroism. her mode of advancement and succession in life is brutal candour
-janice is setting a good example which other stars without a degree should emulate
-janice is now quitting and you have to hire and train someone to take over her responsibilities
-janice is available for speaking engagements
I’m not doing so well:
geoffrey taylor is wheeled out the hospital on a stretcher and loaded into an ambulance
But the most powerful Googlism…
geoffrey taylor is [that’s it, I just AM]
Wait, people are supposed to have “Bloggers to sleep with” lists? Well shit… Now I have to start reading more blogs and decide which bloggers I want to sleep with. It’s like perverted homework…
Having a really common name makes these kind of horrible, but amazingly hilarious and weird. Let’s see what comes up for me.
Sarah Green is 91 years old (22, but close!)
Sarah Green is an innovative upbeat singer/songwriter who composes on keyboards (…n…no.)
Sarah Green is the daugther of william green and rhoda menofee (No, but my grandfather’s name was William Green. WEIRD. Another result in this list was saying these people were from Massachusetts, which is where I’m from. WEIRDER.)
Sarah Green is a woman (Sure!)
Okay, let’s try my internet handle?
Sorry, Google doesn’t know rahzombie (STORY OF MY LIFE.)
I just learned so much more about you.
By the way, mine has only two items that are not funny or interesting at all so apparantly Google doesn’t think about me much at all.
I’m glad you’re not a douche, but that entry would have been infinitely better if it said you weren’t a douche canoe.
And I would have thought “Jenny Lawson ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ BECAUSE WINE” would have made the list as well. (You can fill in the blanks so many ways, ya know?)
Googlism for full name of course comes up with it not knowing me…but when I put in just my first name it just says Googlism for: deena (won’t even capitalize my name you bastards?) and then blank…Googlism knows me, it just also knows that if it has nothing nice to say it shouldn’t say anything at all. Thanks a lot Googlism, thanks a lot!
Entering Googlism gets me “googlism is” on one line (nothing nice to say about itself either?) and “googlism is working now” on the next.
Oh, apparently I have to ask What Where or When, not Who….and apparently I am a bitch…fair enough Googlism.
Sorry, Google doesn’t know julie driver so sad…. lol
I would love to see you repost the Rooster blog!
Google doesn’t know me. FEELING STABBY!!!!!!!! 😉
Well, apparently Abby is “a congo African grey parrot” and “is all wet when it comes to her acceptance of hot tub nudity.” Where do I put that on my resume?
Google doesn’t know me specifically.. But does know Andrea… My favorites…
Andrea is known as the queen of Spanish television and especially telenovelas….
Andrea is a beautifully restored holiday rental property in Tuscany near the border with Umbria.
Andrea is changing into a bird.
I’m not sure which is my favorite… Possibly the last one. Very Kafkaesque.
“Erin is free for those who participate.”
What the what does that mean?
The Bloggess is in the house! Whoop whoop!
And apparently I’m a nobody. Googlism doesn’t know me.
BUT! This makes it totally worth it: justin bieber is the gayest woman alive
I think I’m too scared to see what Google says about me.
Okay, so if I want to create my hooker resume, here are some of the bullet-points I’m going to use:
Gail is available for private parties
Gail is available for conventions
Gail is a people oriented individual and will give you personal yet professional service
Also, “Gail is my goat”—I will only be someone’s goat if I can be one of those cute Fainting Goats!!
sharon is talking about talks
sharon is talking and fighting
sharon is up to no good
sharon is a ‘war criminal’
sharon is israel’s worst enemy
sharon is to join jeb bush at rally for israel in
sharon is threatening nuclear
sharon is striking down israel’s future
sharon is the right man for the job
sharon is right too
sharon is not welcome in the united states petition
Well, that last one just hurts…
-rhoda is divorced and brenda is unwilling
-rhoda is aghast to learn that brenda is considering having cosmetic surgery done on her nose
-rhoda is caught in the middle until mary discovers joanne is prejudiced
(My husband wants to know who the hell Brenda and Mary and Joanne are, and should he be worried)
-rhoda is the only pug i know of that has met famous people like jenna elfman
(Someone named their dog after me??? And the dog knows more famous people than I do)
Ah…here are some truths:
-rhoda is currently looking for self
-rhoda is still a chatterbox and a shoulder to lean on
mary-anne is the driving force behind global psychics’ customer services
how did google know?
and this:
mary-anne is willing to do light housework
Well… not sure how I feel about this:
Sorry, Google doesn’t know shaunacey
” …is still alive.” Nailed it.
Google says you are on its “bloggerstosleepwith” list? That’s kind of creepy. Even having that list is creepy. I have a “bloggers to meet in person” list. (You are definitely on it.) But not a list of bloggers I want to sleep with. Ok, maybe I do, but it’s a short list: My wife (who blogs as TheAngelForever).
As for what Google thinks of me:
“Sorry, Google doesn’t know techydad”
Wait, what? After all that time using your services, Google? I searched with you. Used your e-mail client. Used your online documents service. Stored my files on your Drive. And now you see me walking through cyberspace and pretend not to know me?!! sniff No, that’s fine. I understand. sniff sniff You have a lot of people you’re seeing, Google. I shouldn’t (whimper) expect you to remember me. If you’ll excuse me, I just need to go take care of something. runs off crying
Google doesn’t know me either.
“Karen Walrond blogs for 10 years and has nothing to show for it.”
I’m so glad to see you’re not a douche. Wouldn’t it have been a disappointment to have found that out, after not knowing? 🙂 You’re brave! Not always easy to google yourself . . . bravo.
Apparently, Google doesn’t know me. I’ll take that as a good sign.
“bumpyboobs is all about the business.” Ha!
I hope it doesn’t know me, but just to be safe…I think I’ll leave it a mystery.
walks away and stares back hard at computer
Great. Now there’s something else to not look up when I can’t sleep…
The Bloggess is who she is.
Well thank goodness for that.
Google has no opinion on me! I’m pleased by that.
The Bloggess is my co-pilot! Once again, you’ve struck gold on the internet, Jenny. My results:
s h is currently available for massage by appointment
s is half manx and half american short hair
s is always on top
s is so afraid of germs
s is attacked and knocked out as she cases his candy store
s is bad
s is one of them
s is reaching infamy for kissing just about everyone on the roster
s is clearly uninformed
s is a fount of useless knowledge
s is a professional bounty
s is the whre of all whres
I don’t even know… I must have a name that is a popular alias for prostitutes. Lmbo!
Mandy is toting candy canes in her backpack.
Google didn’t know me. So I tried just my first name, and discovered why…..
“Christa is survived by her parents”
brigette is a 10″ antique salmon colored little girl with an innocent look.
[Oh googlism, you just don’t know me at all, do you?]
brigette is an assasin for the others
[Uh oh, looks like my cover is blown.]
brigette is the splice of a blue mernorn
[Well that about sums it up.]
Schilder is working for weed, apparently because of stress, because schilder is equally candid about the rewards and the difficulties attached to ministry in a modern day prison setting.
michelle is safe and dry .
michelle is thursday
michelle is dumb
michelle is an adorable twenty inch
I am safe and dry. I do not believe I am a day of the week. It’s possible I’m dumb. I am positive I’m not a scarily large but adorable sex toy.
So I put in my blog name and it says here that it’s a website for thinking about our discontentment and also…”a bit less known”
Thanks a lot Google! You’re an asshole.
dana is back weedy wednesday smoke fest with dana larsen
I actually know that Dana. I am not that Dana. dana is environmentally friendly describes me much better.
Sadly, it doesn’t know me, which kinda sucks for the professor in New Zealand with the same name as me who has published all kinds of important books, and who I know about through regular Google. Which is also how my husband knows he is both a secret Communist and a secret CIA agent. So I hope anyone who has suspicions about my husband’s spy career and wants to send Jaws after us in a mini-rocket will check Googlism and not Google.
I’m pretty excited about this one. “rachel is an author who renders the yeti speechless with her talents”
Of course you’re not a douche… People think you are a douche? That sounds like douchery to me.
Can you put any of those on a resume? I mean, the douche thing is legit, right?
Google doesn’t know who I am, by my nickname or my legal name. Awesome. Very reassuring when you are dealing with a crazy stalker. True story.
Google doesn’t know me, either. Does this mean that I actually don’t exist? The implications of this are both troubling and intriguing.
Foxy Wine Pocket, that sounds more like “Texas S&M University”.
My own favorites:
Googlism for: mark
mark is the beast
mark is real deal
mark is paddling as fast as she can
mark is where your pig
mark is a monkey junkie
mark is not 666? but
mark is in a land of plenty
mark is also someone’s property
mark is serious business
mark is in print
mark is in
mark is looking for some action
mark is more than just a label
mark is my name
mark is permanent
mark is just bitter
mark is having fun now
mark is largely ignored
mark is paris burning
mark is the beast oh
mark is ready
mark is cranky
mark is not the man for the job
mark is where your pig puts his/her front feet on a small box and nose in the air
mark is revealed
mark is climbing back up
mark is fly this game is fly
mark is unique
mark is seen commonly on appliances and computer equipment
mark is a well
mark is bringing change
mark is the best
mark is
mark is used
mark is your mini? there is a great deal of confusion when it comes to mini marks
mark is a golden god?
mark is made up of 9 for assignments
mark is featured in the readers digest and is a media favourite
mark is registered
mark is perceived aurally rather than
mark is crafted of porcelain
mark is my hero
mark is deleted
mark is a long
mark is being used in
mark is a
Woohoo! I made it! I’m in!
But I feel so used… 🙁
And don’t try to rub me out, because I’m apparently immortal.
Some of my favorites (without my name because I like being a nony moose)
**** is a world
**** is not a retard (good to know)
**** is in peterboro and does yoga classes here
**** is unavailable
**** is our residential beggar
**** is recommended
**** is #1650
kelly is indignant about something or another
kelly is a divine goddess
kelly is a demon
Well, which is it google?!
kelly is waiting patiently for you to enter her
Really, google? Really? I just… what should I think about that last one?!
kara is 4
kara is the result of the interest expressed at kansas precision agriculture conferences (so THAT’S how I was conceived)
kara is officially “ilandwhyte krystal kyra”
kara is entirely run by volunteers
kara is a tree
kara is a straight up asshole to me to where im an asshole back (I do have my moments)
I don’t know what Googlism thought about me because I was too impatient to wait for the goddam page to load. But that probably tells us everything we to know anyway.
My computer is acting weird and submiting comments before I’m ready. First of all, I meant that probably tells us everything we *need to know anyway. And also I was TRYING to check the little box that lets me include my latest blogpost. GUH. Okay it’s not going to let me. Nevermind then.
jeanne is a small slightly built young woman possessing the almost physical perfection that is typical of the selkie people
(Awesome!)
lauren is a happy pumper???
they stopped updating the google results on that website years ago. so my entry will forever be “_____ is the ugliest” based on a forum post by a kid I went to highschool with. joy.
Googlism doesn’t know me at all. I feel that is actually a very accurate description of my introverted home-body self.
Kenzie is a regular monkey.
Most of the rest were about dogs, toddlers, or men. I’m so confused am I really the only adult human female with my mane in existence???
Divine (according to Google, that is)
“The Bloggess is my copilot” is a much better answer to those droll “God is my copilot” thumper stickers han the snarky “Dog is my copilot” drivel. I mean, honestly, you have opposable thumbs, dogs don’t. And I’ve met few dogs with your discerning taste in taxidermy and Princess Bride quotes. You rule, dogs drool.
melissa is microsoft’s fault
I don’t know if I should be happy or offended, apparently “Google doesn’t know Laura”.
My actual first name is rather unusual, so I tend not to share it online very much (because I’m super paranoid like that). And it happens to be the same as a well known Southeast Asian porn star, and a minor tv personality, so the results are always interesting. Here are the highlights.
…is back as a mute
…is hasselhoff’s leading lady
… is searching the bushes along the entrance to the main dining room for speakers to prove her point
…is a bona fide 18 year old schoolgirl with big brown bedroom eyes
…is trapped on the roof and is so grateful when i rescue her that she bj’s me
…is looking at him bemusedly
…is irked
…is just one of 1600 young hairy models you can see inside atk’s natural & hairy members area
…is a frenzy of guitar licks
david **** is conducting a phylogenetic analysis of the subtribe castillejinae.
Actually no. No I am not.
when I put it in my full name it didn’t recognize me either – apparently I don’t exist? – but when I did only my first name it said I was dead. not sure which is worse.
test 1 : ororo is practically a goddess given her powers and should act more accordingly
test 2 : harry potter is teaching your children satanism and witchcraft
test 3 : jenny lawson is awesome
conclusion : this googlebox sure has had some freaky nightmares and thus should not be allowed to watch dvds alone just yet, but when it comes to talking about real people, it’s a truth teller.
Booh! Only works in English. And noone thinks anything about me in English.
But using my first-name only, I found out I was apparently killed. Or possibly a horse and rider massuer….
“Sorry, Google doesn’t know joshilyn jackson”
That’s all it said. The end. Finito.
OH, YOU WOUND ME, GOOGLE.
To be fair, Google is NOT alone, but damn, it still smarts.
WOW! ALSO WORDPRESS does not know me. It told me so, in a very snide tone, the nine times I tried to post this comment.
At first I thought Googlism was protecting me from hurt feelings, but then I saw that “The Bloggess broke Googlism”. Thank you for protecting me, Jenny!!
I bet you are a lot of people’s copilots! I know your blog has helped me navigate unfriendly skies some days 🙂 Also laughed out loud at West Texas one.
I am SO EXCITED! I have two understudies backing me up if I’m out! SO I can, without guilt, get on a plane and leave my Teenagers From Hell! Yessssssssss
Ha! Am massively pleased to announce that Googlism has no idea who or what or where I am. Take that, giant corporation who has to remind itself not to be evil with signs in the office.
Um wow,
kattie is 18 and loves a good firm banana
See, now I’ve always considered the Blogess my copilot.
sue is human
sue is going au natural
sue is the largest
sue is great
sue is handling the $$$
sue is coming to fresno
Evidently I am taking a trip to Fresno in the nude & handing out money – lol
“Jess is dying”
“Jess is psycho gay fencing bitch”
“Jess is an Australian kelpie.”
I really can’t beat the Australian Kelpie thing, so I’m sticking with that. It needs to be my new signature line…
Apparently I only exist under my maiden name… either that or I broke the internet. Both are possible.
Mine were all obscene:
stacey lynn is adult elf pics
stacey lynn is celeb male teens in underwear
stacey lynn is free naked ladies pictures
stacey lynn is cock fighting illinois
stacey lynn is hot older pussy
and I am 100% positive I was not cock fighting in Illinois! I have no comment on the others. 🙂
I think your fans are mobbing the site…after my first hit on my maiden name, none of us in the department can get any results. Oh wait, my boss got something…. it says she’s internally bleeding. Yikes.
And it’s official “Google doesn’t know mary lastname.”
We’ll all go back to work now.
I’m scared to know what google thinks of me. We had a disagreement a few days ago, and haven’t spoken since.
Hmm, I just can’t decide which I like more:
danielle is a sassy little 13 3/4″ sable & white bitch who thinks that everyone should stop and pet her
danielle is about 15 inches tall and is a soft ragdoll dressed in a schoolgirl’s blue plaid dress with a yellow collar and red piping around the waist
mellisa hannum is the editor
Thanks for pigeonholing me, Google. Thanks a bunch.
“Jenny Lawson is an award.” It must have been pretty rough trying to accept yourself as an award. Where are you going to put you? On a shelf? Hung on a wall? Jeez, just give me a plaque and a cupcake!
-Sorry, Google doesn’t know eve i ate your damn apple
Google doesn’t know me. This means I have done a fabulous job of separating my online life from my real life. This makes me proud. 🙂
I nominated you for an award, sorry…lol http://jonasleeblog.com/2014/05/30/inspiring-me-okay/
Googlism for: naomi
naomi is latest fame casualty
naomi is broke
naomi is feeling
naomi is one of the most touching
naomi is latest fame casualty by tv plus reporters
naomi is set to leave the north london mansion on monday morning
naomi is my wonderful german shepherd
naomi is now three years old
naomi is mounted at the wht’s ghril nasmyth focus
naomi is a joint project of the isaac newton group
naomi is a member of the international association of women composers and ascap
naomi is past president of nsa and chair of the international center for speaking in tempe
naomi is embittered by the fate hashem has inflicted upon her
naomi is my younger sister by 6 years i think
naomi is the kind of person who spots a photo opportunity at a glance and if you go looking for her
naomi is a very strong
naomi is not taking orders for custom art
naomi is located within two hours driving time of philadelphia
naomi is easily accessible any season of the year
naomi is one of the most touching in terms of human relationships in the bible
naomi is also now making a name for herself in the world of film and television
naomi is a grammy award
naomi is
naomi is signed to gut on a long
naomi is a popular teacher
naomi is also an example of a believer who encounters and struggles through hard times
naomi is set during world war ii in new york
naomi is a 23 year
naomi is beginning to grab things too
naomi is the wife of elimelech
naomi is connected to the following things
naomi is connected to because
naomi is determined to find this treasure and spends much time looking and dreaming and even researching treasure hunters at the local library
naomi is feeling rebellious and upset
naomi is responsible for developing compelling and durable web
naomi is by naomi campbell
naomi is also making a name for herself in the world of film and television
naomi is a distinctive beauty whose sophisticated and sultry look has made this model/actress an international celebrity
naomi is just how beautiful the music is that they create
naomi is a japanese female name that means “above all beauty”
naomi is founder and host of the women alive
naomi is thinking
naomi is 23 years old and in college in arizona
naomi is 36
naomi is certainly the number one choice for any arcade developer at the moment
naomi is on dr
naomi is skilled in getting to the core of the issue and guiding her clients to free themselves from paralyzing behaviors and self sabotaging coping styles
naomi is known or famous for?
naomi is certainly not camera shy
naomi is intended to bridge the gap between pure forecasting models whose forecasts are often difficult to interpret and dynamic general equilibrium models
naomi is al iets dikker en haar tepels beginnen iets op te zwellen
naomi is al lekker uitgezakt
naomi is hanging out in front of a suggestive piazza nettuno
naomi is geboren
naomi is one of a handful of children in the country with early onset cockayne syndrome
naomi is 28 inches tall
naomi is? naomi is happy
naomi is hollywood’s ‘next big thing
naomi is so
naomi is a biblical name from
naomi is currently a guest on radio and television shows throughout the united states and england
naomi is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an advanced clinician with the imago relationship therapy organization
naomi is wearing a “fantasy” kimono outfit from volks
naomi is running on a trail along the sabbathday river where she spies what
naomi is a sitting doll
naomi is a welcome addition to the reign
naomi is an exceptional executive who has totally committed herself to the fight against hiv/aids
naomi is the only child in scotland who suffers from giant axonal neuropathy
naomi is very organized
naomi is a senior from new york
naomi is the lead programmer on staff
naomi is someone he likes
naomi is frightened by everything and everybody
naomi is the founder and president of the face language international and has opened centers in the united states and england
naomi is in a battle with the backdraft group’s gold team
naomi is a 76 element segmented mirror
naomi is deeply disturbed
naomi is the story of a haunting in the subways of manhattan
naomi is a deconstructed and modern
naomi is too old for marriage
naomi is currently pursuing her ms degree in hospitality industry studies at new york university
naomi is a very sociable cat
naomi is the author of “swan” and the self
naomi is available at subterranean press
naomi is the daughter of peter watts
naomi is caught between two men
naomi is a highly successful “people person
naomi is the author of several books
naomi is seeing doug socially but not often
naomi is continually caught between the knowledge of her sometimes fraudulent methods and her hopeful faith that perhaps
naomi isaacs & franz dannerbauer
naomi is usually clad in a pair of baggy
obviously #teamJacob I mean it’s not like you went to see Twilight wearing a Vampire skin
I don’t usually post but Googlism had some very NSW things to say about my name. o_O
Google refuses to acknowledge that is knows me.
Apparently, I am nothing more than a set of creepy acronyms:
LISA: Library and Information Science Abstracts is an international abstracting and indexing tool designed for library professionals and other information specialists. LISA currently abstracts over 440 periodicals from more than 68 countries and in more than 20 different languages.
LISA: Laser Interferometer Space Antenna, a proposed space mission concept designed to detect and accurately measure gravitational waves
LISA Academy (Little Scholars of Arkansas), a public charter high school in Little Rock, Arkansas
LISA: Local Indicators of Spatial Association, statistics that evaluate the existence of clusters in the spatial arrangement of a given variable…WTF?
And also a few other notable things:
Tropical Storm Lisa (disambiguation), various hurricanes, cyclones and a tropical storm
Lisa (mythology), a creator deity in Dahomeyan religion
Apple Lisa computer, the precursor to the Apple Macintosh
LISA: A computer game: “A GAME ABOUT SACRIFICE. SURVIVAL. AND PERVERTS. Preorder LISA the Painful RPG now!”
The last is my favorite, but still I’m a bit confused. Am I a painful “Rocket Propelled Grenade” or better, could I be a painful, but Really Pretty Girl? No matter, as I seem to have all the basics covered – Sacrifice (yes!), Survival (OK, good for me), and Perverts (who knew?).
I may be dis-ambiguous, but I am a storm of epic proportion. This I already suspected I had in common with you. I am a lot of things I never could have imagined. I think some of these things point to a seriously high level of intelligence. My day is absolutely complete.
Appparently I’ve learned to cook athletically while buried in my (non-existent) trailer:
tacy is in the trailer cooking dinner
tacy is also buried there
tacy is very athletic
Thanks for another great diversion Jenny!
First googlism… Annette is right.
FINALLY! I think that makes me super officially always right… because google said so! OMG I’m going to use that on my kids! Instead of “because I said so” it will be “because GOOGLE said so”
some of my favourites:
erica is stimulating the penis of her husband
erica is a saucy tart who needs punishment
erica is now known in zimbabwe as a gwenyambira
erica is terrified of her real self
erica is probably a madam in this setting
erica is agressively affectionate
erica is a beautiful woman with shapely long legs and a terrific bottom
erica is being pressured by her gang pals for focusing on school and distancing herself from the gang life
erica is a talented sunflower painter and super mario player
Hmmmmmmm……….
mandy is here
mandy is a “girl on top” edit picture added 8/9 {hahaha}
mandy is cute
mandy is such a special girl
mandy is the daughter of colin atkinson
mandy is toting candy canes in her backpack {How did you know google?!?}
All right then, thanks googlism.
I ran both my Internet handle and my real first name. My favorite from each:
Solstice is utterly terrifying in its plausibility. (damn right!!)
[Real name] is cooler than you fool’s. (particularly appreciate the misplaced apostrophe in this one)
Sorry, Google doesn’t know Taryn Urion. That’s okay, Google. I don’t either.
What the hell is a “wimp tin”? I doubt it’s a good thing. I’m also not Courtney Love so there’s that.
🙂
Google does not know me. This leaves me strangely deflated and hurt. Damn you, Google!
Google thinks I am a 76 year old lady or a lesbian. One of these is true.
Googlism said Google doesn’t know who I am. Story of my life.
Mine should say “Amber is kinda bummed.” Because I am. Most of mine had to do with fossilized resin or porn. Why do porn stars and strippers always pick the name Amber?!? Bitches.
Apparently I am simultaneously an 8th grade student, a teacher and “the best female artist I have seen this year.”
THAT made my year. 🙂
“Ruth is a destitute “huffer”? Addicted to glue”
So obviously, in the throes of huffing, I must have created your last The Bloggess googlism. Sorry about that. I can be rather b*tchy when I’ve got the glue.
I always knew you weren’t a douche, Jenny…
Funny thing, due to the child safety crap we’ve got on our network I can’t go to that site. But then I had to have my husband put in a special exemption for this page.
So you know the other day how I posted I had 4 cats? I don’t, I have 3. Something happens when I get finished reading your blog and I become drunk I guess. 😉
Google claims to not know me. Google can bite my ass.
Instant depression:
Sorry, Google doesn’t know amberlynn pappas
Actually, Amber, it’s probably better that way #orwell
Google doesn’t know me either. But really, who ever really knows anyone these days?
Sorry, Google doesn’t know Alie Kriofske.
Hah!
I think Google just had a little too much to drink and is feigning ignorance.
“We’re sorry Google doesn’t know Marissa Weir”
My first name (apparently, I don’t exist if I use both names) came up with a string of pornographic phrases that made me blush. I guess Gina is a popular name for Porno Queens…
I’m a permanent staff member of development alternatives
…and don’t you forget it!
I apologize for the double post,but I think I win something here. Good lord…
paige is a smashing success as fm muhammad shines
paige is simply shania
paige is my fetish
paige is
paige is a faerie girl
paige is back”
paige is a miss teen usa judge
paige is smashing success as fm muhammad shines
paige is a 14 1/2″ sable & white bitch
paige is the best
paige is a pattern of ones and zeroes
paige is post a comment name
paige is a faeriegirl
paige is a spayed female
paige is also actively involved with impact
paige is a computer program that generates patient educational material and instructions for treatment and follow up
paige is produced by mad scientist software
paige is not emmett
paige is unlikely to shy away from controversial issues and is well
paige is doing exactly what he was hired to do and that is to denigrate the public schools as much as he can because that is the bush agenda
paige is credited with establishing houston as one of the nation’s top urban school districts
paige is on her way to a sure take over of the european music scene
paige is recording an album that is self
paige is the son of public school educators
paige is responding more
paige is responding to the treatments
paige is not happy
paige is caring
paige is on this web site if there is information you cannot find on this site
paige is the oldest player to play in the
paige is caught kissing jack and she is confronted
paige is not a regular in testifying before committees
paige is on its side
paige is back”
paige is in the middle pushing a stroller with balthazar in it
paige is brought from a black background to her four friends behind him
paige is a virtuoso
paige is a prodigy known to musicians on both sides of the atlantic
paige is a member of the board of directors of the south shore women?s business network and previously served on the board of boston
paige is impressed with how the students have excelled at the seahawks academy
paige is a member of the florida retail federation board of directors
paige is our newest coach and assists with our school assembly programs
paige is a tall guy that teaches grade ѕ
paige is disfigured
paige is the black tri bitch of my dreams
paige is the successor to paige
paige is shown here with vanderbilt university chancellor gordon gee as he welcomes him during a visit by paige as part of his cross
paige is an elite gymnast
paige is a very talented elite gymnast currently training at parkettes gymnastics in allentown
paige is committed to evangelizing her peers and has found an outlet in music
paige is afflicted with a rare genetic disorder called goldenhar syndrome
paige is a very private person
paige is the self
paige is an empty suit who had no role in bush’s “no child left behind” reform
paige is an impressive man
paige is the newest edition to the haliwell family
paige is a story about complacency and self
paige is the youngest daughter of my late brother
paige is so frustrated in his new job that he is considering retiring
paige is responsible for the overall operational and fiscal integrity of bse
paige is not a stressed child
paige is an expert cryptographer trapped in a miserable job at a technology company
paige is a young atlanta singer whose first single
paige is afraid to take the risk getting into lance’s pickup
paige is credited with raising student test scores
paige is in charge of the pollen laboratory and its integration into the studies
paige is the one who backstabs and bad mouths everybody else on the show
paige is one of the best pure athletes in college football
paige is no longer in need of hospital care but not responsive to commands to send her to a rehab hospital
paige is wrong
paige is a breath of fresh air
paige is highly regarded by her clients
paige is giving away 100% free subscriptions to his weekly all the profit secrets letter
paige is the woman in the video
paige is the point man for a new federal education plan that proponents call the most sweeping change in
paige is 14 years old and lives in colleyville
paige is known for her role of venus in the bbc broadcast of kurt weill’s one touch of venus in london
paige is the right person
paige is no stranger to science competitions
paige is set to share her distinctive take on pop music
paige is working tirelessly on the next mars surveyor program
paige is an extremely talented gymnast and i think she will be a major contender in the years leading up to the 2008 olympics
paige is our first grandchild
paige is 5’5″ and weighs 120 lbs
paige is relatively unknown in the uk but she enjoys a far bigger reputation in her home country of america
paige is back to prove she can enthrall and entice with her new pop fare
paige is about a troubled teen in a troubled family with a troubled past
paige is really
paige is the eerily mature caretaker who keeps up the appearance of normalcy
paige is the president of ictus development
paige is a professional uk based independent escort
paige is going to be
paige is half
paige is 3 now and while everyday is a different challenge for her and us as well
paige is a member of the staff
paige is dorothy on halloween 1997
paige is hardly a voucher wet blanket
I knew you were Team Jacob.
Meggy is a fictional character…
Waaah!! I don’t exist. 🙁
i agree, you’re not a douche.
i’m no one to Google, so i don’t have any for today.
Ok well that’s weird seeing one of my tweets to you word for word as one of Google’s top results for you… I guess zombie katanas are more bloggess than originally thought!
Apparently, I’m survived by my wife. So, I’ve got that going for me.
“kate is the product of a wealthy home and her mother despairs of ever seeing her settled down like a good daughter”
Oddly specific.
Sorry, Google doesn’t know (who the hell I am). Not exactly surprised.
I don’t know why but the Bloggess is in the house really cracked me up.
So, I tried googlism and it said it was sorry but it didn’t know me…. So true, google, so true….
Who did you threaten to cut?? O.O
Here’s a few interesting ones for my name:
– mana is the energy that flows through the universe
– mana is a high ranking apocalypse demon
– mana is a seventh attribute possessed only by traditional wizards and rogues
– mana is graphically magnificent
– mana is about as useful as a piano man without fingers
Yup – that just about sums me up!
Googlism says it doesn’t know me. 🙁 Ego fail.
Jaclyn is….
….perky perky perky and that’s that
…hilarious sometimes
…breathing a big sigh of relief
…a very kind and sweet feline
…ready to learn the songs of weaving?
Regina George… How does Googlism begin to explain Regina George?
Regina George is flawless.
I hear her hair’s insured for $10,000.
I hear she does car commercials… In Japan.
Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.
One time she met John Stamos on a plane… and he told her she was pretty.
One time she punched me in the face… It was awesome.
I love these! Absolutely spot on—captures me to a “tee.”
melissa is an atheist
melissa is head and shoulders above the rest
melissa is the bomb diggetty
melissa is a single mexican woman from hermosillo
melissa is actually not a bad girl
melissa is a blonde haired little slut
melissa is developed as a robotic platform for the flying robot project
melissa is debating whether to wear shoes on the plane
melissa is fluent in creole
melissa is now married to bruce boxleitner
melissa is short
melissa is an idiot
Some good ones in here. The creepiest one is- peeking at her through the window.
Googlism for: ricky
ricky is trying to murder
ricky is king
ricky is embraced by
ricky is a winner
ricky is livin la vida generosa
ricky is 21 at cheap
ricky is hot
ricky is 2
ricky is a wigga and loves vicky williams
ricky is dead
ricky is the coolest
ricky is a buddie again
ricky is 21 by rick nelson music
ricky is trying to murder her
ricky is one of the most interesting people you will ever encounter in your life time
ricky is trying to murder her” date filmed
ricky is trying to murder her a misunderstood conversation between ricky and his agent leads lucy to the conclusion that he is
ricky is getting married in october
ricky is perfect
ricky is embraced by teammates
ricky is 21
ricky is the man
ricky is livin la vida generosa ricky martin to play charity concert
ricky is one of the classic comedic archetypes
ricky is a major player
ricky is 1 up hole 3 is a par 3 ricky shoots first and lands 13 ft from the pin paul just misses a long putt and ricky misses the 13 footer paul misses par
ricky is
ricky is comming to montreal march 23th 2000
ricky is home again
ricky is an avid reader who’s loves researching topics and people that interest him
ricky is sentenced to a maximum
ricky is a wigga
ricky is losing interest in her ethel refers to the book
ricky is trying to murder her”
ricky is not a bad kid? staff reports
ricky is no ordinary prisoner
ricky is so romantic and sensual
ricky is so loved and missed by family and friends
ricky is a movie with a singular claim to fame
ricky is bomb
ricky is having a great season
ricky is based on an incredibly obscure manga and anime
ricky is just another inmate
ricky is capable of leading the league in rushing
ricky is die dag vanaf half 3 vrij
ricky is back
ricky is immediately smitten
ricky is playing for
ricky is something of an old hand when it comes to the stock market
ricky is a handsome
ricky is the associate editor and contributing author for the 2001 “maintenance engineering handbook” by mcgraw
ricky is watching from across the lawn
ricky is a reckless
ricky is “all man”
ricky is up for auction on ebay taken during a 1999 trip in new york
ricky is more devoted to his fans than anyone i know
ricky is not so busy anymore
ricky is so extraordinary in his card manipulation
ricky is my dog’s name and he is eleven years old
ricky is a true gentlemen away from the television
ricky is quite popular amongst the ladies
ricky is one of the many persons served by ucpa
ricky is as good as mike
ricky is a sweetie
ricky is a bourkes parakeet and we’ve had him about four years
ricky is nu te horen op radio 1
ricky is passionate about quilting and is delighted to share his experience and enthusiasm with quilters at every level of expertise
ricky is nominated at the 44 annual grammy awards for his duet with christina aguilera “nobody wants to be lonely” in the
ricky is now up for the no bull 5 in october at talladega
ricky is jolly violent and gory
ricky is in his room filming her through his window
ricky is desperate for an apache dancer for his new routine at the tropicana
ricky is the
ricky is the voice behind the cup of life
ricky is schizophrenic
ricky is a very large
ricky is so cool he teaches dance at dunchurch school he sometimes gets mad mostly at the lads because they sit and drool
ricky is more than a sex
ricky is way too humble to tell you how good he is so i will
ricky is the son of morris laahty and sadie deyuse laahty and a grand
ricky is certainly one of the most unique movies i have ever seen
ricky is on the list and you can go to the official grands
ricky is hand fed wedding cheesecake by amy
ricky is a stickler for order
ricky is actually at the squat getting increasingly drunk and being shamelessly flirted with by theresa
ricky is my only son
ricky is sent to prison
ricky is jolted back to the present with the famed “drivers
ricky is totally to original specification
ricky is living at darlynn’s darlins
ricky is not the disciplined hard worker his neo
ricky is so confident that he is most likely to come down the track and hit the ball back past the bowler in the very first over of spin he plays
ricky is 6th generation solid red color on his dam’s side
ricky is immediately beset by bully inmates
ricky is a
ricky is most noted for being an accomplished songwriter
ricky is 21 by rick nelson information
ricky is instructing us on correct body positioning when entering into a corner
ricky is producing a latin boyband
ricky is approved by the suzuki association of the america’s to be certified through book 4
© 2003 – 2010 Googlism.com
I had some serious Ron Swanson-type pride when Google said it didn’t know me.
They still haven’t found me. Time for some celebratory bacon and eggs.
Saw this and thought of you (in the nicest possible way) animal beards – http://laughingsquid.com/free-your-skin-an-ad-campaign-for-schick-nz-featuring-men-with-furry-animal-beards/
Whoa, I am THE PEOPLE’S MAYOR!
If only I had known. I feel like an apology is in order.
I went with just my first name this time and got some results:
Selected results:
chris is tired of the whole “boyband” thing and is leaving *nsync to start a rock band
chris is run on microsoft’s most powerful database
chris is also president of dog writers association of america
chris is the all mighty god of the gods
chris is our god
chris is returned to an upright position
Shelley is a smelly cunt. Wait, what? And modest but necessary, and shocked by phone sex. But my favorite? Shelley is a living example of how the human spirit can never be defeated. Apparently even when I’m a smelly cunt.
Can you create a bumper sticker that says “The Bloggess is my Co-pilot” ? I would totally buy that!
“marissa is chased by several hit men while trying to find enough evidence to convince the authorities of the deadly scheme and stop the looming epidemic”
I really want to know what epidemic I’m trying to prevent.
These need to be bitstrips comics.
so sad. google said “google doesn’t know debra _____”.
I think I’m just going to continuing living in oblivion about what the world and google think of me. It’s much easier to believe I’m loved if I don’t know the truth.
Googlism for: adria bowman
Sorry, Google doesn’t know adria bowman
Ummm. If you need me I’ll be over here in this corner, being forever alone.
“TheBloggess is threatened by my beauty and success and threatened to “cut me bad” if I didn’t drop out of the scene.”
That one was my favorite..by far.
My favorites from mine were: amy lee is a porcelain doll with baptist fangs and amy lee is definitely a force to be reckoned with…….UNTIL, I got to the very end: amy lee is multi orgasmic
That one is definitely not me…..
Google didn’t know me at all until I dropped my last name… and then it was magical!
nici is a dual beam differential imager with a dedicated adaptive optics system and a low scatter optical system optimized to take advantage of various
nici is involved in research on visual perception
nici is a line of plush with personality
nici is ideal for trace level analyses of target compounds in complex matrices
nici is pleased to support this online forum because of the fundamental importance
nici is quickly turning into one of the hottest porn queens to make it on (<-To be fair, I knew something like this was out there. There used to be a porn site under my full name.)
nici is missing or corrupt
nici is part warm instrument and part cold instrument with a focal plane mask that obscures the central
But this is the only one that sounds like the really real me:
nici is an outstanding young lady who is friendly and encouraging to everyone
Did u find me?!
Don’t fill in any info below (email, website, etc..) Stay anonymous.
This should work for now. We can go back and forth. These will be deleted automatically every couple of days. But its anonymous, so no major worries.
We need better ways to tell each other that something is waiting. Like, mention anything about animals and I’ll know ubr changed a profile or pic on NG. Mention a date, and I’ll know here and where to look.
I’ll keep looking for better options. Be super careful on texting! :# I’ll be better at not appearing to have a one way conversation. 😀
BTW, u can maybe temp post /pix memes here???
Lmk on text if u found this and then we’ll game plan here.
Yuri is evil. Yuri is master. Yuri is back with a vengeance! Yuri is planning to clone world leaders. Yuri is controlling his mind! Yuri is more than capable of utilizing all the weapons at their disposal! Yuri is finally getting his way. Yuri is brilliant. Yuri is a newcomer to the hit man business but he tries his hardest. Yuri is a crackpot and anybody who believes this nonsense probably won’t believe the truth either. Yuri is once again on the rampage! Yuri is still at large with his army of brains. Yuri is trying to take revenge on you. Yuri is the “ultimate corruptor.” Yuri is extremely valuable to the continuation of brain slice research. Yuri is a specialist creating bladed weapons while maintaining an element of sculpture in all of his works. Yuri is the one standing next to her with the large sword. Yuri is a very active and friendly cat.
I love my name.