Your cat has a cooler house than I do.

in Random Crap

Go home, everybody.  The best cat toy ever has been created and nothing you buy for your cat will ever be impressive again.

star wars catMy cats just looked at this picture from their cardboard box on the floor and then shook their tiny heads at me in disgust and shame.

Frankly, I’m disappointed too.  Why don’t they make these in human size?  It’s like a loft bed without having to have a loft.  Plus, if you just got comfortable but you need a drink you can just drive your bed to the fridge.  If they put a bathroom and a well-stocked bookshelf in there I’d probably never leave again.

PS.  In case you missed it…yesterday a lot of you expressed envy at my horrific 80’s cat sweater, so I found you something even better.  It’s at the bottom of the post.

100 thoughts on “Your cat has a cooler house than I do.”

Read comments below or add one.

  3. I now have an urge to search Pinterest until I a) find the plans for the cat condo or b) find the plans for a person sized bed…either way office work is not getting done today.

  6. I feel like victor should make your cats this, He owes it to them.

  7. This is when I get sad that our dog is so prey driven. When she saw the kitten we brought home a year ago, she looked just like when people on TV are supposed to be demons and their eyes turn entirely black. (Kitten was returned to the rescue peeps 2 days later.) Once I find a big cat who can teach Morgan manners, I’m so looking for something similar, but perhaps in a Hogwarts style…

  10. Loki REALLY needs this. However I am afraid it would complete his plan to rule the world. Maybe not a great idea.

  11. My cat is always trying to trip me on the stairs. With that he could just shoot them out from under me. No. Thank you.

  13. The feral cat in our neighborhood sometimes sits in our broke ass koi pond so that’s almost as good.

    Or not.

  14. I’m starting to regret not being born a cat. They get cool houses and they get to be on really cool sweaters and trip people as they are walking down the stairs.

  15. You just inspired me to waste more time than I want to admit looking at google images of “cat sweater”. There’s a lot out there…

  16. I’ve seen the best of the Internet, and it’s not even 6 am. I might as well pack it up the for the day. Right after I order that cat sweatshirt…

  18. Arguably, the cats probably can’t tell the difference between that and a regular box. Or else they can and they’re just sitting up there all snootily judging all the other cats on their poor life choices that led them to not have a robot fighter house.

  21. Merge skills, imagination, and obsessive cat love and apparently some pretty cool things can emerge. How about though if, after all the construction hours, you find out your cat is just not that into sci-fi. More of a Harry Met Sally or Sleepless in Seattle cat. What a disappointment.

  25. I want one! It’s like the treehouse I’ve always wanted except INDOORS and COOLER and not what I imagined. It’s perfect!

  31. JENNY!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! I am crying after looking at the “new” cat sweater! I think I might have to get one, maybe 2 so my daughter and I can match!

  32. I know this isn’t the right post to tell you that, but see what you’ve done to me??

  34. I went and looked at the sweaters…..not only is the first one enough to make you want to poke sharp objects in your eyes, but apparently it is frequently sold with another not much less obnoxious one…..I kind of want them. 🙂

  35. Here’s the thing–sure, that cat will storm the rebel base (aka the dog’s bed) and overcome it. But it still won’t catch Luke and R2.

  36. I wish I was a cat. Specifically, my cat, who got on the counter and ate my breakfast cupcake. The little asshole.

  39. The cat-AT-AT is brilliant. That sweater, however, has obviated the need for me to ever try acid. I’ll be rocking in the corner for the rest of today.

  41. Even if it came in human size, my kids would take over, tip it while inside, scare the crap out of me about their booboos and safety, then they’d take it apart and put it back together where the feet are on top of the head…. They are so bad about destroying the house, they destroy the house in my dreams, fantasies, and imagination.

  42. I usually let the cats read your blogs . . NOT this one! I won’t be able to live with the constant whining at me to get them one!!! Meow!

  43. My cat was the type who, after I’d spent all week building something like this for her, would’ve sniffed around it for a few and then gone to lie in the dustpan.

  46. I’m not sure it’s wise to put even pretend weapons in the paws of our kitties. My kitty loves me but would not think twice about enslaving me to keep the ear scratches coming.

  48. I have to hide this picture from my husband. I mentioned off hand one day that it would be cool to have a Tardis for Halloween décor. Now I have a 7 1/2 foot tall Tardis that is also about 5×5 feet taking up the corner of my bedroom. I love it, but I have no room for an At-At as well!

  49. The best part about the screaming goats in this week’s wrap-up? The suggested link to a guy playing Goat Simulator, which is the most awesome game evar.
    Jennie, you have to play this. Victor will love you forever if you show it to him.
    I promise.

  50. Shit like this is why cats have a superiority complex. They’ll never respect you if they know you put that much work into something for them.

    I can just see this cat going to its friends, “So my human built me this gorrrrrgeous AT-ST, but I couldn’t let him actually think I liked it, so I told him the Star Wars prequels were better than the original trilogy just to watch him cry.”

  52. And I thought I was being impressive by hollowing out a vintage tv box to make a cat condo! You’ve put me to shame.

  54. I love how the cat could totally FIRE ON YOU if you don’t quit peeking inside his fortress and go fill the food dish.

  58. I am loving this post. I showed it to The Hubster and asked him to build me one. He said as soon as he gets around to it.

    I’m going to hold him to it!

  59. Now I wish I had a cat, just so I could get one of those – awesome. Also, I followed the link to the thing that was better than your 80s cat sweater and PHYSICALLY RECOILED at the picture. Also awesome! xx

  60. Yes! This is must have for all cats and humans alike! wanders off to find the husband Maybe we will redesign the living room. Do they have dog houses too?

  62. You know. I made my cat a scratching post. It’s three levels and after seeing that I realise as boring as bat shit.

    I wonder who I need to bat my eyelash at to get that though. Maybe my cat would love me forever if I got him that.

    Or at least I’d be excited. Sometimes it’s just not about him.

  66. That is truly majestic. I’m tempted to show it to my boyfriend, who is just the sort of person who would build something like that…

  70. My cat objects to her current cat-nest because a friend bought it for me and carted it across town with her guide DOG. The smell of dog has thoroughly traumatised Smokey who has decided she needs a replacement bed.

  71. Cats really live better lives than us, just in general. They just get to poop and eat Fancy Feast all day long. My food is never fancy. It is Hungry…a Hungry Man to be exact. 🙁

  73. I need to park one of these at my front door. It would give people a better idea of what they’re in for if they choose to come in…

  76. People sometimes scare me. Just scare me. If I had this much time on my hands, I would have brokered world peace. Or taken a bubble bath.

  77. I read the P.S. post and thought you had MADE an 80’s sweater out of a cat!

  78. This in a bunk bed would be AWESOME.
    Also I just bought that insane cat sweater you linked to. No lie. I’m going to give it to my sister-in-law for her birthday. Don’t worry – I’ll make sure to tell her it was your idea. Must give credit where credit is due! I’ll try it on and take a picture for you when it arrives!

  79. Jenny DON’T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
    First you get the little extortionist little bastards their own AT-AT and then they will want a TIE Fighter and then they will be bugging Victor to borrow his Storm Trooper outfit!
    It’s not like the little shits don’t run the house now.
    Stay strong Jenny!
    Draw the line!
    Draw an Imperial Symbol on their cardboard box and tell them to STFU!
    Dave

  80. Damn.

    Like THAT wouldn’t look great out in the backyard looking over the fence at the neighbors dog who would then be screaming for a legitimate reason instead of just screaming and making noise because they’re dogs and apparently have nothing to do during the day but annoy me.

  81. Makes my scratched up cat perch look like something I bought from Goodwill. Damn. I want one of these!

  83. The only thing not awesome about this is that most people are calling this an AT-AT.

  85. Although cats will eat your eyeballs when you die, I think this house is really cool for ’em…T:)

  89. I wonder if they make things like this that your kids can sleep in at night so that they won’t get up and crawl into bed with you and stick their cold toes inside the top band of your pj shorts and scare you while you’re dreaming? Something that’s not a cage….

  91. I never used to eat donuts and now people keep bringing them into work and now you’re talking about them and now I’ve just eaten two donuts and am also eating a third?

  93. We have a Kitty Fun Zone for our cats, but I can’t compete w/ that. Maybe if I didn’t have kids I could spend more time enhancing the kitties’ lives.

  94. I hate powdered donuts, and I knew my marriage was over when I asked my husband of 11 years to pick up donuts from the store and that was what he bought. True fucking story.

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