120 thoughts on “I think we all knew the world would end like this anyway.”

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I read a study that said (basically) the reason older people forget things is because they have too many stories memories and information. I’m sticking to that story!

  5. Given everything that’s happened thus far, this seems like as good a way for it to end as any, right? Fuck it.
    And then, if the world ends because of this, Mr. Brains will have gotten away with all of that drinking for free! I’d say he owes you one. (One he’ll never get to give you on account of the world ending, but still…)

  8. Ooh, I read it as “My Brain has too many jabs of a pin,” probably because the idea of having pinned it had crept into my head in a strange way.

  15. My brain did explode. Remember that Charles Addams cartoon of the man looking into a mirror with a mirror behind him and his image repeats umpteen times but one of the images is a monster? Just like that.

  25. Reading this just confirmed how much of a bad idea it was for me to stay up all last night. (not for anything fun, just because I’m over 40 and I no longer sleep….just like every woman over 40)

  31. OK so like I got an image of those pull tab things you can buy for a dollar at the Bingo. The funny part is that the whole story of the blog, instagram, pinterest, blog apocalypse is isn’t that the same thing as having too many tabs open? Now who is seeing this on a TABlet on a TABle?

  34. I’m so confused right now. You successfully turned my brain inside out and my tabs are flapping in the wind.

  35. And does anyone else notice we have tabs on the computer screen, and a tab button, but the tab button has nothing to do (that I know of) with the tabs on the screen?

  37. I thought it said jabs. I thought it was concussion awareness. I fell out of a tree onto my face once. Before I could get my hands up to break my fall. Flat on my face.
    I had a headache for hours. My mom didn’t take me to the hospital. The hospital was for when you knew something was wrong. Apparently a massive headache from a face-first-fall wasn’t certain enough.
    She let me take a nap.
    Sometimes, I think that I fell into a coma and all of my life since that nap is just a very unimaginative coma dream.

  40. Thank you Jeanie. Now I know it’s not just me that doesn’t sleep since I am over 40. And I want Fresca.Too many tabs open all the time.

  42. The age old question; If a pin drops on a selfie of you in a forest from a pic on instagram and nobody retweets it did it really happen….KABOOM!!!

  43. I’m with Imp on this. I once saw a movie where a guy (Christopher Reeve) with a pocket watch travels back in time and leaves the pocket watch with the woman he loves (Jane Seymour) before being catapulted ahead to his own time again where he will be given the pocket watch by an old lady (Jane Seymour) who says to him — “Come back to me.” Where the hell did the watch come from? And which came first, the chicken or the egg?

    This post is like that.

    I have to go lie down now.

  48. That video was freaking awesome! I had to watch more of her crazy shit! Hilarious!!!

  51. I read it as “Mr. Brain has too many jabs open”, and thought it was commentary on a boxer’s failing technique. I did wonder why you found such a commentary compelling, and then I thought maybe Mr. Brain was your neighbor and you were just trying to be helpful, in a non-confrontational way. Maybe if enough people say it, he’ll finally realize he has too many jabs open and that’s why he never wins a fight.

  57. Michelle Grewe you have an evil brain. I’m a technical writer so I have to deal with the tab key and tabs on a PC screen all day — and now I will be unable to concentrate all afternoon! I will be thinking of Jenny’s Tab every time I try to do my job! Thank god it’s friday.

  60. I think my head just exploded! Wait no, I can still think so that can’t be true. I’ll ask Mr. Brain what the hell the deal is and how do I find where the bats are getting in. My dyslexia kicks in at the most random times.

  61. It’s the circle of life, or circle of internets. Remember to put a slice of lemon in your Tab.

  62. I’ve lost track of what everyone is talking about, but I am drinking a diet coke so perhaps I am commenting on the wrong blog. Or pin. or instragram. or whatever this is that I have open in this tab.

  63. I’m going to reblog this blog about a Pinterest comment that I made on an Instagram photo BECAUSE BLOGCEPTION. WE NEED TO GO DEEPER.

    Hey, since we’re teaming up to destroy the world, we should be, like, best friends.

  67. You broke Facebook, at least. So you’ve got that going for you. Which is nice.

  70. Is having too many tabs open anything like having too many bottles of vodka in the liquor cabinet open?

  71. …but what’s with the landscape behind the words? It doesn’t match for me. It should be like, flashing lights and billboards and Vegas and cat videos. What’s actually there is kinda reductivist, if that’s a word.
    …irony?

  72. Once again, you’ve been thinking too much…which has made me think too much. And now I need a nap to clear my head. Or a glass of wine to clear my head. Or a glass of wine followed by a nap.

  76. Don’t forget to tweet the pin, too. Because that place isn’t too good to crash with the rest of us.

  78. ok i’m confused. at first i thought it was a bar tab, then came the can of tab,(didn’t coke have to take it off the market for awhile because the fake sweetener caused cancer in rats. kind of like when they took red cinnamon flavored toothpicks away because red dye no. 2 or 3 caused cancer in rats) anyway i have finally settled on computer tabs. but i can’t have too many tabs open or my shockwave brain player shuts down. i’m pretty sure the wise part of my brain (DBT anyone) has hidden itself in its pink jewelry box. you know the one where you open it up and the ballerina twirls to the music box dancer tune. i’m over 40, i need a nap

  85. This quote is accurate it’s kind of scary. I also have too many tabs open on my computer. Maybe it’s related? Although, I don’t have a computer tab that is just constantly going through reasons why I suck at life, so…. maybe not.

  88. This is almost like the time I wove a basket for SO’s mother, then he wanted to fill it. So we bought candy. Put the candy in a bag, the bag in a box, the box in the basket, and the basket in a bag.

  89. Marydpierce at comment 43. “Somewhere in Time” My favorite movie of all time!!!!!

  90. It was YOUR fault Facebook crashed? Oh man, I was thinking some dark thoughts at that time!!! (I was looking for something to show a friend and it wouldn’t OPEN!!)

  93. After the week I’ve had, this makes perfect sense to me. Let the ‘plosions (both im- & ex-) begin please.

  94. “thetattootourist | August 1, 2014 at 9:52 am
    The age old question; If a pin drops on a selfie of you in a forest from a pic on instagram and nobody retweets it did it really happen….KABOOM!!!”

    The tattootourist survived with sharp wit intact.

  99. I have a coworker that keeps at least 30 tabs open. It blows my mind whenever I see it. How can you find your way?

  100. This looks like one of those fantastic 1950s documentaries they mock on MST3k.

  103. How on Earth do you single handedly keep breaking the internet? You do this over and over again? Know how? Cause so much awesomeness is uncontainable.

  105. I mean… it only makes sense that you would be the one to take us all out in a firey blaze of glory. To be honest, I’m honored to be a part of the group here.

  106. I just learned from reading the comments that they still make TaB. A few days ago I saw someone drinking a Fresca, which I didn’t realize still existed. Are we about to be separated into TaB People and Fresca People in some Seventies Throwback Apocalyptic War? It is surely the end o’ times!

  107. Ahhh…Somewhere In Time…that’s right. I hate it when I get Jane Seymour and Cyndi Lauper mixed up. Easy mistake though.

  108. True Tab addicts want you to think its not being made anymore, so you’ll keep your hands off my pink crack! Hypothetically.

  109. I wish I was clever enough to express my confusion in such a great way. Isn’t having too many tabs open just multi-tasking or menopause?

  111. I didn’t realize what kind of “tabs” you were referring to at first, but now I get it.

    Also, I don’t know if you remember me but I started blogging (per your advice via response to my fan email) and I mentioned you. 🙂

  113. Apropos of nothing… If you haven’t checked out CrapDaxidermy on Twitter, you must. Immediately.

  115. You broke Facebook? gasp Bravo!

    My friends and I were debating whether it was a cat video so cute that Mark Zuckerberg’s eyes rolled up and his spine slid out of his butt, or if Cthulhu had finally arrived. And all this time, it may have been you!

    Have you played Cards Against Humanity? If you haven’t, you really should. I think this game would be right up yours and Victor’s alley.

  116. Totally off topic here. Would you like to help out a GISHWHES Team with a task. We need a video of a NYT Best Selling Author (You) to do a dramatic reading of this section of http:/apps.dmv.ca.gov/pubs/hdlbk/right.htm DMV Right of Way. I am JoeMamma6_2 on twitter and we are team The Clock People. BTW we are competing against William Shatner if that helps, if not, don’t remember the William Shatner part. Thank You, Karen. karenerb58@gmail,com, FB Karen Erb

    (I would but I’ve already done it for another team. Sorry! ~ Jenny)

Leave a Reply

MY BOOKS:


shop

Subscribe to the bloggess, y'all.

Enter your email address and receive notifications of new posts by email. It\'s like I\'m stalking you, but more efficient.

Archives

ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:

I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:

Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.

Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.

The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”.  Often irreverent, always honest.

Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.

Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

Beautiful Writers book: Writers! This coming-of-career memoir (w/ the BEST advice from celeb authors, real shit you haven’t heard) is life. A page-turning beach read doubling as how-to. #Magic

The Dating Days of Marta O: When I told my sister I was building a blog she said: “Do people still read blogs?” I do not know, but if YOU want to read it, here it is. Keep in mind, my stories about dating after 40 are for the brave.

Where Do I Belong? A memoir of Sarah Carrington: The unbelievable story of growing up in a religious cult in the mountains of Northern British Columbia. What happens to you in life doesn’t make you strong; rising above it does.

CONNECTED: A Personal Journal for Ketamine Therapy Created by writer & patient Katherine Davis for this powerful clinical treatment. If considering ketamine for major depression, check out this essential tool.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: SO GOOD.

Discover more from The Bloggess

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading