See you next Tuesday.

in Random Crap

I’m a big fan of this lovely mug, which cleverly uses the “C” of the handle to let you be terrible in person:

unt …and it really inspired me so I designed this:

Victor says no one will buy this but I disagree. Then he asked if I was going to buy one and I was like "God, no."
Victor says no one will buy this but I disagree. Then he asked if I was going to buy one and I was like, “OH GOD NO.”

And then Victor was like “The whole point of the first mug is so you can walk around with profanity on your glass but not have it be noticed” and I was like, “Yeah.  Obviously.”  And he was all, “I’m pretty sure everyone will know what ‘unnilingus’ means”, but I just typed it in and spellcheck was like “THAT’S NOT A WORD.  NO GUESSES FOUND” so I’m pretty sure that proves it’s more subtle than Victor thinks.

Then Victor argued that, “You can’t just expect spellcheck to suggest ‘cunnilingus'” and I was like, “God, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that.”

Because then I’d have one nickel.

I also thought about making a mug that said “amel-toe” but that seemed weird and so instead I just wrote “WORD” on a mug.  That way you can carry it around  and people will think you’re just really into Vanilla Ice, but really it says another thing completely.

It's subtle. And then not subtle at all.
It’s subtle. And then not subtle at all.

If you don’t see it then you aren’t looking hard enough.

PS. Use the promo code: VETERANDAY14 at checkout to get 15% off all my profane mugs until Friday.

PPS. Some fabulous(ly disturbing) requests and suggestions have come in.  See the comments for even more terrible things.

127 thoughts on “See you next Tuesday.”

Read comments below or add one.

  5. Can I get the last one if I am just really into Vanilla Ice? You could make a second one that says “ollaborate” and just embrace it…

    Also, the best part of this post is the humor of the juxtaposition between the code word and the profane mugs (I wanted to say the irony, but I’m continually told that I use that word wrong. Sigh)

  6. You could cleverly disguise the message with something like “until next time…” or “untethered greatness” Then, provided the recipient is right handed, everyone else would get to see the message in his/her hand.

    I’m a fan of trickery. And also profanity. 🙂

  11. Why can’t I find a C word in your wonderful store?

    (The mugs are new so they won’t show up for a bit in the store. Just click on the pictures and it’ll take you there. ~ Jenny)

  12. What I love particularly about the 1st mug is you can pretend you’re walking about with a University of North Texas Mug.

  13. I go to the University of North Texas and am thinking about getting the UNT one for a particular professor…

  15. I want to buy the last mug for pretty much everyone in my family. I’m also thinking that one that says RAP would make a lovely holiday gift.

  16. I think a cunnilingus mug would be perfect for getting my co-workers to NOT talk to me before I’ve had my coffee.

  19. This has no relavance to the above post, but I still find it funny. I was up feeding my infant son in the middle of the night and trying hard not to fall asleep. I think I did fall asleep briefly and had a dream that you and Victor were having a conversation about whether or not bad guys return books to the library. You said they did, Victor said they didn’t.

    I agree with you. 🙂

  20. The possibilities are endless! If you have a bff named Cathy, you could do an ATHY mug. And maybe a handle shaped more like a B and then tada, you’ve got an ITCH! Think of all the Christmas shopping just DONE. Excellent.

  22. If you made a two-handled mug, you could go both ways, with OCK on the other side. Just saying.

    Or you could make an UM mug, but then no one would want to drink the contents.

    (That is awful. And such a good idea. ~ Jenny)

  31. My husband and I refer to Sallie Mae as “pirate c**t.” I was trying to describe them and was saying they’re not like the nice sweet little lady that “Sallie Mae” makes you picture, more like the opposite… and “pirate CUnexTuesday” was the closest that I could come to the opposite.

  34. Too bad I work at home and can’t shock anyone. Especially not my husband. The first one would raise his eyebrows and the second, his spirits. I don’t know what the third one would do to him, but it might be fun to find out.

  35. I took a pottery class once where I made an obscene pot by mistake. I could never bring myself to throw it away, so I wrapped it in brown paper and stuck it in the back of a drawer. I need to know when I’m going to die so I can take a hammer to it right before this tragic event. There’s nothing subtle about my pot or these mugs.
    meow meow meow

  36. If you drink left handed, only you would be able to read these mugs. Maybe that’s a plus. 🙂

  38. having my morning coffee is like a spiritual experience for me. if I could have that same experience and throw in some subtle sassy humor… I’d be all over that. Kudos

  42. Just stopped everything I was doing and bought that unnilingus mug. Guna just slip it into the cupboard and wait for my boyfriend to notice…

  45. I’ll have to get 2 for the kids. They’re not allowed to say ‘cheese’ because it gets the dog all excited so instead they refer to it as ‘the c-word’. As in “Oh Jackson, what a good dog! You sure love “the c-word”, don’t you!” and informing guests that “Jackson just can’t get enough of “the c-word”. Good times.

  47. Laughing. Thanks, I needed this post AND THE COMMENTS. Especially that Clippy one at #14.
    My family is going through a bit of a trauma today. When I saw notification of your post, I was so grateful.
    I am also a fan of trickery and profanity abd to find trickery and profanity at 50% off in your shop, well, its a Bloggessaniamism non holiday miracle. Bless you Jenny, you hear the frustrations of your tribe and bless us with gifts of hilarity.

  49. Totally spelled our brand spanking new religion wrong, I will do penance with my dictionary and thesaurus.

  50. I think they’re hilarious! I especially like the subtle-yet-not-subtle unnilingus mug. The WORD mug is pretty awesome too, but I’m not sure how many people will get it without the context of the others.

  51. I’m glad I’m at home right now because trying to explain the tears running down my cheeks would be difficult. 🙂

  52. Thanks for the laughs!

    Because Amendment 1 passed here in Tennessee yesterday, I’ve been disturbed all morning by this move to legislate women’s bodies. Perhaps I will reclaim a bit of my body with one of your fabulous coffee mugs.

    Thanks again. I needed that!

  55. You win the internets today. The UM NO ~ incredible. Thank you for making my impossibly shitty day so much brighter. It’s like you’re the fairy godmother of potty mouths.

  57. How about ‘offee”. Then everyone would assume you had coffee in the mug (except the stupid people you work with wouldn’t get it and ask why you had a mug that had offee on it instead of coffee in it) and they would never guess it is really rum and coke. Oh, my, my, the things I have to do to stay at work. If it weren’t so close to lunch time, I would run away. Love the mugs!

  62. OMG!!! You should have one with a curved handle that says “hit on someone”, but with the handle, it will say “shit on someone” or maybe just “hit” or maybe a “hit on you”. Eh eh eh? Smart, right?

  63. HAHHAHA…only see your c0ck when they hold it a certain way.

    Wait..that’s not funny. It’s kind of sad. Poor little thing.

  64. I was disappointed to not see the “UNT” mug on your website. However, being in the Unicorn Success Club is a win. Therefore, I purchased two mugs-one for me and one as a gift.

  65. The C-word is brilliant. How about “LIT” and you’d get both the literature crowd and the sexual empowerment crowd. Or maybe “LITORIS” which seems ambiguously Latin – like it’s a geographic feature or something.

  66. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    The UNT mug also looks like it says NOD if you turn it all the way around. That being said, I’m having some rather frightening visions of what a “_UNT NOD” might look like …

  67. How about making some that are backward, with the handle making a letter D? You could do TUR or BAAA or DEA, and they would be even better because you would be the only one to see it when you were holding the mug, and maybe you sit across from someone who is a total turd, then you could look down at your mug, look up at the person across the desk from you, and just smile.

  68. OOPS.

    That was supposed to be your UM mug I was referring to, not the UNT one. I blame the tears of mirth for blurring my vision.

    It was actually a “_UM NOD” I was trying to picture. Now that I think about it, I’m not sure which of those two images is more frightening …

  69. This is so awesome it almost makes me want to step out of my hermit hovel of an office studio to rent a co-working space JUST to have co-workers I could shock with these mugs…. but I don’t think the co-working spaces around here are generous enough to match your discount. Sigh!

  70. I like the RAP idea. Also, if you’re having a day and that annoying coworker comes in to talk to you you can drink left handed so only you know you’re calling her an UNT. She will be confused by the smirk on your face and wander away. WIN-WIN.

  74. https://11main.com/czone/have-a-nice-day-middle-finger-mug-funny-saying-flip-off-coffee-cup/p/1517378?ref=DF4rcI_udU6GfakKSQwtHg&kpid=1517378&cid=cse_gg_home-&-outdoor__%5Bpla%5D-(ho)54280971275&utm_source=gg&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=&utm_content=11_main&utm_campaign=[pla]-(ho)&ref=DF4rcI_udU6GfakKSQwtHg&kpid=1517378

    This one is my favorite mug of all time!!!! I want to get a few of these and go into an office meeting and see who notices it first! HAHAHAHA

  75. I don’t get the joke? What’s so clever about the word aunt on a mug? Aunnilingus – is that even a word? And what in blue blazes is the a-word? Maybe it’s an oddly shaped o? If so what’s the o-word? Ozone? 😉

  77. I want one of these mugs but I don’t think I could carry one at work and I can’t use one at home because my six-year old can read now. Damn you woman for giving me the desire for something I can’t have! 🙂 That “damn” is totally said with love, in case you can’t tell.

  78. The UNT mug was actually originally available on the University of North Texas’ website. Oops. I wanted to get one for my dad, who recently retired from UNT, but it was taken down pretty quickly. Go Eagles!

  82. Genius!!!! I want one, no I want TWO!!! One for work, one for home 🙂 WORD to your mother!

  83. sly literary usage there… posts even nice individuals see… as sometimes helpful, outstanding, laughable euphemisms ! C U Next Tuesday – you sly dog 😉 Thanks for the fun.

  86. If the handle of the last mug was in the shape of a cow, I would buy that,one. I’m too much of one to purchase the,other ones and use them at work.

  87. Brilliant! Love the WORD mug. This post reminded me of one of my favorite scenes from Curb Your Enthusiasm and I posted it in a comment earlier, but I’m thinking because I included a youtube clip, my comment went straight to spam. Never showed up on here. In any event, if you haven’t seen it, you can find it by typing in Beloved aunt. It’s 1:20 long. Hilarious. Just like you. 🙂

  89. Karen, they ain’t gonna buy the ow if they can get the um for free.
    milk. i meant milk. totally milk.

  92. All I can think of is AD:

    michael bluth: get rid of the seaward.
    Lucille: I’ll leave when I’m good and ready.

  93. Might I suggest LIT as yet another option? Oh, and for double the fun (per my sister’s suggestion) the other side of the mug could sport OCK. Choose which hand you hold the mug in depending on whom you’re speaking with and what you’d like that word to oh-so-subtly impart to them. ~:-)

  97. In my adventures as a dyslexic writer I have learned that spell check will tell you that you have spelled vagina incorrectly but it will give you no suggustions as to HOW you have spelled it incorrectly. sigh First world problems…

  98. common, come off it y’all. don’t use the C word. because of all these suggestions I have decided to go for cups that don’t have a C- shape handle especially now that everyone seems to have got creative ideas for cups. So, it’s simple- if i see a cup with an “unnilingus” on it, I would just rip off the handle and have my nice cup of tea. cheers! 🙂

  99. What about “ULT” so that people get really suspicious and keep their distance. And add in a devilish smile too. I’m a huge fan of the C-WORD too, it always makes me laugh. I’d rather get called that by my worst enemy than bitch!

  101. I want one that says U N HELL. Because that is apparently where all my friends will be.

  103. hmm ok cool. i’d want a cup that has “ups” written on it. so when you have four of those cups on a table then tada you automatically have an F- word. #justsaying 🙂

  107. How do I upload a picture? I have a teapot that goes with the UNT mug! You’ll love it, Jenny. I promise.

  108. Comment 54 is the most disturbing application of Rule 34 I’ve come across yet. And no, that’s totally NOT a challenge.

  109. Thanks a lot for making me buy YET ANOTHER DAMN MUG. I will one day die when a tower of excess (but totally awesome) mugs falls out of my cabinet and squashes me flat. My dog will be very sad, because my husband thinks she’s overly needy and will refuse to make up my end of the cuddling quotient.

  116. My mother got me a mug last Christmas that says “I’d rather be sleeping”. What she didn’t realize when she bought it is that the bottom of the mug says “with your mom”. We’ve had many a good laughs over it.

  117. Surely, MANY of us would love it if spellcheck would suggest cunnilingus. Or anyone, really …

  118. Put an “I” on the other side, than u p like an iCup, but an inside joke, too I-c-u-p, get it?

  119. I know I am late in reading this, but I saw the title of this post and thought… “She doesn’t know… Of course she does.” Hah! 🙂

    Fun alternative to “See you next Tuesday” is “berk”. I just learned that one today!

  120. ugh I can’t get the promo code to work. I love these mugs. Want them all. lol

    (Sorry! That promo-code expired this morning. But you can use the code VETERANSDAY14 for 15%-60% off until next Tuesday. ~ Jenny)

  123. I have a mug from the University of North Texas (UNT) and I will never ever look at it the same way. I am quite ok with that, it’s funnier now.

  124. While walking around my house today, it finally hit me. See (C) you (U) next (etc) Tuesday (etc). That was a slap my forehead moment (and yeah, maybe a little bit of a blonde moment too).

  126. I can’t believe that I read your blog at home and then listen to your audio book on the way to work and back. How did this even happen? And when I get to work laughing hysterically my co-workers try to give me coffee to settle me down. This has gone too far.

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