me: For Mother’s Day this year I want this teddy bear. Or rabbit, maybe? It has teeth and it’s adorable.
Victor: I…don’t think I want that in the house.
me: It’s tiny and under $40. Plus, I’m pretty sure you can’t say no to me on Mother’s Day. I made a human out of my body.
Victor: Well I helped.
Victor: EXCUSE ME? Millions of my replicants were destroyed in the process of making our child.
Victor: Yep. And I better get something awesome for Father’s Day. It’s like Remembrance Day for the millions of replicants who didn’t make it.
me: Oh Jesus.
Victor: Never forget, Jenny.
me: Well, I can’t now.
PS. Vaguely related: Happy Mother’s Day to my mom who is the greatest woman I’ve ever met, and Happy Mother’s Day to my daughter because she’s the one who made me a mother. And high-five to anyone who has weird, conflicting or shitty feelings about Mother’s Day and wishes it would all go away. Go get yourself a kitten and a waffle. You deserve it. Get me some too while you’re at it.
And now, the weekly wrap-up of awesomeness:
Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- Broken and Magical. (All the best of us are.)
- Kick-ass stuff I pinned.
- The silent meow.
- My book got a good review from Kirkus and I melted with relief.
- I’d still eat it.
Shit you should buy or steal because it’s awesome:
This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Darcy Perdu, award-winning humorist who loves to share her bodacious blunders and amazing adventures at SoThenStories.com. She’ll gleefully tell you about the Baby Book Debacle – the hilarious reason her friend’s husband is mad at her, and why some people think she’s raising her daughter to be a stripper. You can subscribe to her blog right here so you don’t miss a second.