14th Argument I Had With Victor This Week:
Me: Why is it you put detached teeth in milk, but you put detached penises on ice?
Victor: First of all, I don’t do either. Secondly, what is wrong with you?
Me: I mean, if it happens you’re supposed to put ripped off penises on ice until they’re reattached but I always heard you put broken teeth in milk. But why?
Victor: Maybe because teeth are made of calcium?
Me: And penises are made of ice?
Victor: You make my head hurt.
Me: Maybe it’s because everyone always has ice but people run out of milk all the time? It’d suck to get your penis ripped off and then you go to the fridge and the milk jug is empty.
Victor: Yeah, that’s what would suck in this situation. The lack of milk.
Me: Or what if the milk expired tomorrow? Do you only have 24 hours to get your penis to the doctor?
Victor: Why would anyone put that off for 24 hours?
Me: Or maybe people use ice because it’s easier to find the penis. I don’t want to have to feel around in a pitcher of milk to find a severed penis.
Victor: You’d be hard pressed to find anyone who would.
Winner: Milk. It does a (severed) body (part) good. Apparently.
PS. This was not a sponsored post by milk. Just in case you were wondering.