Conversation with Victor at lunch:
Victor: I read something about a contest where you have to come up with the saddest story in just four words, and I think I’ve nailed it.
me: Okay. Hit me.
Victor: “She loved someone else.”
me: Ooh, that is a good one. How about… “She’d forgotten his smell”.
Victor: Hmm. “He never became himself.”
me: “OUR DOG WAS EATEN.”
Victor: Um…subtlety?
me: “The baby spontaneously combusted.”
Victor: Jesus, Jenny.
me: Well you said it should be sad.
Victor: Okay, let’s switch to happy. The happiest story in four words. “He loved her back.”
me: Okay. “The monsters never returned.”
Victor: How about…“She became his world”.
me: Ew. No. That sounds like a stalker. Oh! “More gravy for everyone!”
Victor: “They made a family.”
me: Aw, I like that. How about…“Knock knock mother fucker.”
Victor: No. Also, “motherfucker” is one word.
me: Fine. How about… “He never questioned her.”
Victor: How about…“She stopped acting stupid.”
me: How about…“Her divorce came through.”
Victor: Hmm. We should probably stop this.
me: Yeah. Agreed.
And they lived happily (ever after).
Your turn. Happy or sad story in four words. Go.
This too shall pass.
Her hair grew back.
I am so broken.
The shoes fit perfectly.
There was enough tequila.
The cats slept elsewhere.
She stopped being afraid.
We’re out of pie.
Happiest story:
He fulfilled his dreams.
Saddest story:
His dreams weren’t fulfilling.
Sad: She never looked back.
Happy: She never looked back!
No. That’s too cheesy. How about:
Sad: She’s waiting for you.
Happy: I found the dog!
They left me alone.
One pizza slice left.
“Jenny’s smarter than Victor”
She has two cats.
Happy “And there was love”
Sad “Good bye my love”
Anything with gravy or a baby could go either way.
The probing eventually stopped.
Happy: She reads The Bloggess
Sad: No new Bloggess blogs
How about, “Bloggess is a zombie”?
Or “Bloggess ate our dog”?
Those words would make me sad…
I survived the accident.
All charges were dropped.
Her state legalized marijuana.
The house finally sold.
They never found out.
( could be happy or sad)
Sad: Who ate the cake????
Happy: There was extra cake.
There was always enough.
Jenny, I think I came up with the perfect one! And it’s up to the reader if it’s happy or sad: The pain will end.
Then he was gone.
Happy: The anxiety finally faded.
Sad: The anxiety would return.
He told her no.
Their child smiled warmly. The conditioning finally worked.
“Blogges is a zombie.”
or…
“Bloggess ate our dog.”
Those words would make me sad…
Happy: She didn’t need surgery!
Sad: She desperately needs surgery.
My daughter has a heart. First we heard the sad, then we hear the happy. I prefer the happy.
She thought for herself.
She never said hello.
They had a family.
Help me! I’m almost…
ha! heart CONDITION. Of course she has a heart. That would be horrifying if she didn’t.
IVF was too expensive
Bacon has been banned.
Free bacon for everyone.
The kids got along….
Your beer is free.
Depression became her friend.
Depression never came back.
Saddest: She would never know.
Happiest: They found each other.
The softest kitten ever.
Chocolate made her thin.
The Blue Pill worked.
The medication started working.
They named her Beyoncé.
This too shall pass.
coffee never runs out
she finally smiled again
he never looked back
the cat never died
it was a dream
She was born asleep.
~
All yarn is discounted.
How about, “Multiple comments won’t appear”?
Because that keeps happening – and it makes me sad…
Sad: We’re out of cheese.
Happy: Surprise! I brought cheese!
My friend on Saturday.
I (just) lost my husband
What I told her this morning:
You are so loved.
OMG I love you guys. Wait, that’s not it.
Knock knock mother fucker!
The asshole moved out.
He is potty trained.
Sober for ten years.
The new antidepressant works.
The cheese was gone.
I suppose this might work for either. The cat came back.
The test was negative.
The wine ran out.
The test was positive.
Saddest:
She would never know.
Happiest:
They found each other.
“Your hair smells nice.”
“However, you have lice.”
She waited for him. He was finally exonerated.
Happiest: will you marry me?
Saddest: I don’t love you.
It became spring forever.
The Bloggess Saved Her
She was finally free. (probably works for both cases)
“I lost my job” “I won the lottery”
Only the dog survived.
Happiest: I love you, Daddy. (my four year old son at bed time)
Saddest: Daddy, are you full? (my four year old son pointing to my belly)
Their cats got along. (Big, right? I have a cat, my beau has a cat, and I worry if we ever combine households that the damn cats will ruin everything with their incessant fighting. Because they are cats. But we love them. So yeah; “Their cats got along.”)
Your vagina looks normal -gynecologist
That’s not my vagina!- from you
She lost her mind.
Happy for one, sad for another: You can have him.
Happy or sad…reader’s choice: The scan was negative.
Helium made it funny.
I love you people.
“Five miscarriages, one baby”
(This is my sad AND happy sentence and true story).
And he died alone.
Her dreams became reality.
Their vacation never happened.
The laundry was completed.
Love blossomed in them.
Fear kept her anchored.
Happy for one, sad for another: You can have him.
If They knew Her
He got a vasectomy
I laughed out loud.
Bathing Suit Looked Great
Her stabbyness went away.
ILove you Olie….these were the last words my husband said to me before he died. They’re the happiest & saddest words in my world.
Happy: It was all enough.
She won the lottery.
Unlimited breadsticks for everyone!
Saddest: She never found love.
Happiest: Love finally found her.
She always remembered happy.
Ha that’s a trick one yeah, because you could read it as happy OR sad.
I love you, Nana
I miss you, Nana
He survived the accident.
The accident was fatal.
her depression came back. she overcame her depression.
And then, winter ended
Both: the kids grew up.
Sad: He saw her disfigurement.
Happy: His heart saw beauty.
He stopped writing stories.
Both: Nobody ever found out.
Happy or Sad
The test was positive.
“I won the lottery” — 🙂
“Dog ate the ticket — 🙁
There is no heartbeat.
The sun warmed us.
She never woke up. (both)
I’m out of wine.
I BOUGHT MORE WINE!
Sad: It’s just Penny’s time.
(Penny’s our lab. She’s 13 it’s time to say goodbye)
Happy: You’re so fucking brave!
(Said to Jenny at the book signing in Boston)
The mothership finally arrived.
Death was a relief.
Her dreams required sunglasses.
Congratulations, it’s a girl!
They held on anyway.
All the obstacles disappeared.
You make me laugh
I closed her eyes.
She lost all hope
Happy: Will you marry me?
Sad: And she walked away
Life must go on.
These wounds will heal.
Wonder Woman is Supreme!
Creative juices are flowing.
Creative road is blocked.
Shitty people cause catastrophes.
This house is clean.
Sad – “I never loved you”
Happy – The water was clean
And then he vanished
I am still here.
He broke her heart.
She mended it herself.
Sad: Lost son to drugs
Happy: Her son got sober
“She welcomed her death.”
Maybe both.
The cancer is gone!!
And then, things changed.
Her boss is horrible.
She won the lottery.
Hello. I’m the Doctor. (I know I’m is a contraction and technically two words but this phrase makes me extremely happy.)
Stricken with explosive diarrhea
She discovered she was enough…..
The Cat Came Back!
She held her breath…
I Love You More
It doesn’t get better.
I am truly loved.
And the sun rose. Happy
Only the darkness waited. Sad
She lived another day.
I never stopped looking.
They raised their glasses.
Challenge accepted!
Sad story:
She’d lost it all.
Happy story:
Her prayers were answered.
Saddest:
The dog eventually died.
Happiest:
The pup kissed me.
Antibiotics cleared it up.
She’s still a slut.
I cannot taste food
That was hilarious, and I can completely see my husband and I having the exact same conversation with the same result.
Trump, sobbing, walked away.
Both: Then she woke up.
Both?: She never hurt again.
I lost my Rose…
Donna can’t remember anything…
I blame Doctor Who for all the feels!
The darkness became light.
The light became darkness
Happy:
“Every day is Saturday!”
“Music in my head…”
Sad:
“Abe Vigoda has died.” (really, he did)
“My home is empty.”
Happy: Everyone got a pizza.
Sad: Pizza has been outlawed.
She saw the world.
Happy:
The donuts are free
Sad:
Doughnuts make you fat
I dropped my ice cream.
Sale: baby clothes. Unused.
Saddest… Her troubles were many.
Happiest… She forgot them all.
But they had cats.
Good – I finally could sleep
Bad – I never woke-up
Sad and happy
And she walked away
Everything stays the same.
And there it was.
Sad: It didn’t work out.
Happy: You don’t need pants.
@Emma Rose: are you thinking of The Sure Thing (aka the greatest John Cusack comedy no one seems to remember)?
‘Do you love me?’ she whispered. ‘Do you love me?’ It would not be tonight. The answer was no.
Sometimes the dark wins.
One bullet left… BANG!
Thank god you’re alive!
Happy and/or Sad…your choice:
“Welcome to Hell’s VIP”
My internet went down
Her fears never dies
I love Jenny Lawson
The saddest words I ever heard “there is no heartbeat”
I got a puppy!
Antibiotics cleared it up.
She’s still a slut.
Saddest: No more Bloggess books!
Happiest: Bloggess books for everyone!
Saddest story:
He’d finished my pizza.
Happiest story:
There was another pizza.
Hank…two words shorter than the original! ‘For Sale: Baby shoes, never worn.’ By Ernest Hemingway! Great authorial company! ☺
The driveway is shoveled.
(REALLY happy right now.)
he didn’t make it.
From one of my dogs: “They left me here.”
snuggle bunny came home (i just think this sounds warm and fuzzy)
I think this is based off of the story about Ernest Hemingway’s saddest story in 6 words. His supposed response was “For sale: Baby shoes, never worn.” Which can be looked at really sad, or maybe the parents just had so many pairs of shoes from the baby shower that the baby didn’t need them all? Or because babies don’t even need shoes until they are toddlers? Happy thoughts.
Mine are:
Saddest – Willy never got freed
Happiest – Dreams can come true
Ha! Totally worth it!
So not worth it.
Saddest = I can’t do happy.
Happiest = week off with pay!
That is MY potpie. (Thank you Victor…)
They’d learned to punctuate!
She got the job.
London Fog Latte Drink.
You want to come?
Get in the car.
Stop creeping me out.
I finished the book.
The meeting is cancelled.
On a side note, I’m impressed it took 137 comments for someone to steal Hemingway’s apocryphal baby shoes story:http://www.snopes.com/language/literary/babyshoes.asp
FREE WINE FOR EVERYONE!
She’s all grown up!
That’s both furiously happy and sad at the same time when “she” is your daughter.
You Were Never Loved
She married Tim Brewington. 🙂 Happiest story ever in my life!
He was her world.
She was his world.
A love never stronger.
Our dog can talk.
We can’t tell anyone.
She found her longing.
Happy: cure found for depression
Sad: then the dog died
🙁 Cribs empty; coffin isnt.
🙂 Touch me right …. thereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
And they danced forever.
She learned to live.
You’re not your past. OR I need you now.
Horses can’t outrun tornadoes.
“He’s in serious trouble”
She was finally sated
5yo: “Let’s always live together!”
For both happy and sad.
Mini pies for everyone! 🙂
The pies are gone 🙁
Happiest story:
There was always wine.
Saddest story:
There was no wine.
There was once one of those FB things where you pose a question: “You wake up next to me in jail, what are the first four words you say to me?”
My (then 15year old daughter) commented, “Sorry, mom. My bad.”
It both horrified me and cracked me up.
I ate the food. (it goes both ways.)
The Xanax kicked in!
The vodka is low.
There is no Chardonnay.
The struggle is real.
I just might die.
Okay this is six words but I heard this as part of a longer story and it required six – super sad: For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn. I forget but think it was Hemingway. Oh – there’s more: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/For_sale:_baby_shoes,_never_worn
Happy: His humiliations tapered off.
Sad: F U, bipolar disorder.
Happy: Backyard garden feeds family.
Sad: I overcooked my steak.
It is a girl!
She has mitochondrial disease.
It’s not your baby.
It’s you, not me.
It’s going to hurt.
There’s no more booze.
Time heals all wounds
And God invented bacon.
Headlines blared: “Children Found!”
The Last Girlscout Cookie.
Dishes filled the sink.
The dish standoff continued.
He washed the dishes.
She celebrated with wine.
This isn’t my life.
The house was empty.
That’s scary, sad, and happy, depending on the situation.
He never touches her.
My brother died horrifically.
My daughter loves me.
You were worth it.
Both beautiful and broken
She loved him anyway.
He never quit drinking.
and
He never quit drinking!
“She took his hand.”
“That breath lasted forever.”
Summer’s on the way!
You will be loved.
She was already happy.
ED left her forever.
You are not alone.
But I never knew.
The vodka was bottomless.
Her liver stopped working.
She lived, she died.
Happy or sad, take your pick.
I do; I do.
Cute Overload closed down.
The Spam is ready!
The world is dying.
We found the cure!
And no one died.
He does the dishes.
Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza!
They lost their home.
Or
A new adventure beckoned.
“She’d forgotten his smell” just punched me in the heart.
Saddest: My daughter has died.
Happiest: She was MY daughter.
My 19yo daughter Kaitlyn died from a car crash in Oct of 2013. She was in the backseat. She was my first born. She made me a mom. My happy and my sad…
The Doctor is mine
And sometimes we fly
Sandwich with extra mayo
Books are my friends.
Happy:
She slept until nine!
Sad:
There was no coffee.
The beer was cold
Her Dad finally stfu.
Free marijuana for all
I could do this all day!
Magnificent entries here 🙂 I’m just going to go with irreverent:
The wine was free
;-D
He wouldn’t accept love.
Sad: They all forgot her
Happy: They forgot her fuckups
David Tennant loves me.
I was aware of the Hemingway story (perhaps apocryphal), but I had to shorten it to fit the four word limit.
Here’s another sad one, unique to me (as far as I know):
I never risked anything.
The adoption was final.
We’re a Forever Family!
Hmm, I think I can do both with one entry:
“It was never the same.”
They overcame it together. 🙂
(Not gonna do a sad one bc then I will be.)
Sad:
Never again, she said.
Later, he passed away.
Happy:
Forever and always: yes.
She won the lottery.
Happy “Got the fuck out”
Sad: “I really miss you”
A life well lived.
The divorce is final.
This could be either happy or sad…
And so she danced.
From the East coast:
The plow finally arrived.
There are more books.
Ernest Hemingway was once bet that he couldn’t write a complete story in just six words. His response was: For sale: baby shoes, never worn.
I’m happily not normal.
Sanity lost its foothold.
Pain is my companion.
All circuses closed down.
SeaWorld freed its imprisoned.
Poachers all died mysteriously.
Men suddenly understood women.
Women suddenly understood men.
Leaf on the wind
Happy: “Stumbled into enternal bliss.”
Sad: “Stumbled into an oubliette.”
Cancer can suck it.
Never to return again.
Happy or sad, you write it your way.
Happy: He brought me bacon
Sad: I burned the bacon
NetFlix and…buffering…buffering…
It always goes on
She only seemed happy.
It will be fine
broken crayons still color
Happy: Jenny became my neighbor.
The snow finally ended
The taco was free.
She didn’t know how.
He only heard himself.
Her life went on.
Cats, chocolate and fries.
We are breaking up.
My flight was cancelled.
I got another flight.
Cancer: my last day.
Happy: Everyone is finally equal.
Sad: On the news today…
He died last month.
She never loved herself.
Followed by the inevitable sequel:
Neither did anyone else.
Jen, #247, The plow finally arrived.. I want to like this 1000x. (just got word, our schools are remaining closed with the hope to reopen on Monday, Feb. 1st.)
Happy & Sad, all in 1 word..
Always.
Just as it is.
Not defined by diagnosis.
My mother finally died.
The coffee is gone.
It’s five o’clock somewhere.
Happy: Dawn came at last.
Sad: The stars blinked out.
Your prescription is ready!
“Everything has changed now.” <— happiest and/or saddest, all in one.
Her; injured but breathing
Bacon! Bacon! BACON! BAAAAAAYCON!
He loved her anyway. (Come to think of it, that probably works for both.)
Your prescription is ready!
He hurt her again.
I live on the east coast in the middle of the blizzard sooooo
Saddest:
It never snowed again
Happiest:
It never snowed again
My story isn’t over.
They’re not going anywhere. (Either?)
An author I know wrote a book based on her writing partners husband sitting up in bed and saying “the elves are dying”. Four words= a book
I am so lonely.
He came in first!
“I love you so…”
“Ummm, who are you?”
Cancer can suck it.
Happy: Your food is ready.
Sad: I found a hair.
There was no goodbye.
Sad: Pregnancy caused my infertility
Happy: Our only is enough
It wasn’t my fault.
There was no goodbye.
I’m out of chocolate (or wine, or Prozac, or whatever)- saddest
I’ll love you always – happiest
Mouse fails maze test.
She won the Powerball.
Happy:
Nothing slowed Clarence down.
Sad:
Mama finally left us.
Happy- Hew Grew up Happy
Sad- The office is open
Both can be taken either way:
A life well lived.
The divorce is final.
They burned the books.
We lived through today.
Sad:
Strangers. Friends. Lovers. Strangers.
David Bowie has died.
Happy:
He held my hand.
The workday has ended.
Bottomless cups of coffee.
I graduate in December.
As an aside, I think there’s a lot you can tell about someone in how they respond to something like this, especially the things they value or hold dear.
Ok, mine happen to coincidentally be happy for me and sad for my husband, but they are also the biography of the past two years of my life. Here goes:
She quit her job.
They mortgaged their equity.
She took up sewing.
She still isn’t working.
She is now vegan.
Abe Vigoda has passed. (that’s the sad one)
Sounds happy:
She was always right
But!
She was never happy
Taken either way:
The divorce is final
A life well lived
I laughed, then peed.
Hobbes, lets go exploring!
Sad (circa 2006): Born with angel wings.
Happy (circa 2008): We brought him home!!
Hobbes, lets gp exploring!
Rainfall kissed her eyes.
She walked away free.
Sunlight reached his hand.
The breathing sounds stopped.
Screw this, Bye Felicia!
She let him go
then she was gone
She loved hom back
Sandy toes in summer
This is quite possibly the best I’ve seen 😀
Happiest four words: The results were positive.
Saddest four words: The results were positive.
She left that shithole. Happy story.
They fulfilled each other.
They couldn’t be together.
She forgave her everything.
Love was not enough.
Sad: Abe Vigoda has died.
Happy: Betty White is immortal.
Happy: Then she smiled back.
Sad: Grasses hid her grave.
She said, “I quit!”
Either, depending on your connotation. I’m hoping desperately for the happy one…SOON.
Covered in nacho cheese.
My happiest 4 word story: She adopted a dog.
All Cows Eat Grass (music people will get this one)
Sad – She’ll always hate herself.
Happy – Hope strengthens. Fear kills.
Anyone who has read Karen Marie Moning’s Fever Series will get the happy one…. 🙂
i quit my job
“There was no pulse” for sad…. and for happy… “Her Child would recover”
Miraculously, the fog lifted.
Fuck off, old man.
I am still here.
I created you, Devil.
Now you’re gonna die.
We couldn’t save him/her.
I got a kidney!
Together they had everything.
Apart they were nothing.
Sad: She was hard work.
Her problems overwhelmed everybody.
She was too intense.
It was her fault.
She tried too hard.
Her name was lost.
No Who until Christmas.
Happy:
She had two dogs.
Love was almost unconditional.
She stroked silky ears.
She learned to love.
She stopped personalising everything.
She learned about gratitude.
She found her faith.
People show refugees compassion.
David Bowie is dead.
My happiest and saddest:
I once loved her
My life is beginning. (Happy)
Life is worth living.
Mental illness never ends.
There’s no more pain
My marriage is legal.
My family doesn’t care.
The depression overtook her
Sad: My dog just died.
Happy: Just kidding; she’s fine.
Prologue: She’s got one eye.
Zombie Ostriches Are Real!
Remember 70s morning cartoons?
Her asshole ripped open
This Pin from Pinterest. Sadly I don’t know where it originated. It is the most re-pinned image of all of my pins. Resonates with people I guess.
“It’s hurting again. ”
(Technically 4 words if you think “it is” instead of “it’s”, but it doesn’t sound as bittersweet somehow.)
http://m.lovethispic.com/image/41465/its-hurting-again
saddest: I want to kill myself
happiest: we know depression lies
Just burned 800 calories!🙌
Unfortunately it was dinner😂
Yes, we are done. 🙁
She always regretted it.
Finally found her voice.
We were in love.
He never apologized sincerely.
I dreamt I left.
I gave notice, finally.
It was a relief.
Unicorn Success Club, yo.
You should be proud ( in reference to bringing up my child)
I can’t love you
The pizza is ready…
The cradle rocked, empty.
Light showed her truth.
You should be proud ( re my little girl)
I can’t love you…
she learned to fly.
They kicked cancer’s ass.
My life is beautiful
The food was free…
He baked her cookies:)
Kids ate the cookies:(
He came real early
It was all over.
Bowie reincarnated as quokka.
The kiss was perfect.
She finally retired, wealthy.
The pain won’t stop.
I love your laugh
Both; The first bullet missed.
Happy is puppy love
Her life was blessed. (Happy)
Chocolate makes her fat. (Sad)
Nobody understood her pain.
Her light shines bright.
The fire destroyed everything. 🙁
Love goes on forever. 🙂
They lived, died alone.
She was happier alone.
God answered her prayer
The test was negative
Happy: Grilled cheese is wonderful!
Sad: The cheese is gone.
He finally made parole! (That’s happy, btw.)
Sad: Baby needs heart surgery.
Happy: Boy lives. Helps others.
It burned very slowly.
I smell smoke again.
The mice are dead. (Bad news, they were your science experiment to save the world.) The mice are dead. (Thank God, they were invading the house and eating all the fruity num mums.)
Is that you, Batman?
It burned very slowly.
I smell smoke again.
She started forgetting faces.
He returned the ring.
She thinks she’s unworthy.
He loves her anyway.
“Honey, I was fired”
“SOOOO, Get another job”
This too shall pass
Stars twinkle morse code.
She sleeps alone, again.
Together they had beauty.
Her book changed lives.
Books are not allowed.
She figured it out.
great books to read – happy
no time to read – sad
Happiest: Hearing “I love you too”
Saddest: Knowing “It was all lies”
And then, she left.
My most recent sad I got today: “You’re having a relapse.” (I have MS.)
So my happy that I keep saying to myself: “It will be ok.”
She was alone again. (= an extrovert’s reaction)
She was alone again! (= an introvert’s reaction)
He left his wife. (Sad for the wife.)
He left his wife! (Good for the mistress.)
Crib for sale. Unused.
I finally became myself.
This argument is EVERYTHING!
We’re out of bacon. – 😢
But we have chocolate! – 🤗
Today, she was enough.
Her soul was free.
Free coffee for everyone!
Eyes finally know others’.
Darkness was her companion
Your biopsies are normal.
(I can attest that these are the four happiest words I’ve ever heard.)
Both saddest and happiest, depending upon your point of view, from the East coast right now – ‘More snow expected tomorrow’
The cat stopped puking. – HAPPY!
There is no cake. – SAD!
Weather delayed package delivery.
Eyes lit for both.
Saddest: The wine ran out.
Happiest: The wine was neverending.
There was no wifi (wait, is that a horrror story)
It was never lost
I still work there (sad for me 😉
And dementor-proof: I ALWAYS have chocolate.
Hmmm
I’ve added some pot/alcohol (depending on preferences) XD
The cat stopped puking!
There is no cake.
She lost her balloon – extremely sad, especially when her friend hit it and it fell down several floors between some escalators
She got it back – mega happy, because the nice lady, working on the bottom floor of the mall, gave it back to a certain girl (in her twenties)
I died long ago.
I will start living.
tomorrow is another day
happy or sad
Magnificence is humans striving.
What might have been
She finally was enough.
It’s dusty in here.
I have never been moved to tears before about COMMENTS. This place is just magical.
He never loved back.
His impotent heart withered.
The moon cried tears.
~~~
They were happily coupled.
The operation was successful.
She licked the spoon.
Depression lies mother fucker! (See how I made it 2 words! 😉 )
She was always enough.
Or: Srtiving is human magnificence.
Deleted grandpa from phone.
Love didn’t leave her.
Rather without typo: Striving is human magnificence!
Sad: Mom never loved me
Happy: You are my world.
Come inside the Tardis.
We found a cure.
Happy: She was truly happy.
Sad: There is no cure.
She was cancer free
“Mongoose don’t need condoms!”
I am furiously happy.
Victor, listen to Jenny!
Jenny is always right.
Hailey is a fabulous kid.
I truly love myself.
Please and thank you.
No more toilet paper.
The dog ate it.
He’s practicing trumpet again.
The motherfucking souffle’s burned!
Marty can’t fucking count: Hayley’s a fabulous kid!
All out of coffee.
*Hailey
Stupid autocorrect!
She lost her ring.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/For_sale:_baby_shoes,_never_worn
Will you marry me….
I don’t want complications
I still can’t breathe
You stole my expectations
You left my life
You were my treasure
I cry to breathe
In my life, the sad are:
“Mom, I wanna die.”
“It is not viable.”
“I don’t love you.”
“Just sex, that’s all.”
The happy are:
“It’s a beautiful girl!”
“We are so proud.”
“Your son is amazing.”
“I’ll love you forever.”
She loves me anyway.
The tumor is cancer 🙁
I love you Mommy 🙂
“It isn’t your heart.”
Could be happy or sad, depending on the context. (That’s what I’d like to hear from my cardiologist in a month.)
They bought a house
(4 words is tough – so in my usual fashion, I have to qualify: They bought their forever house)
Happy: He’s somehow so different!
Sad: Foot fetish is why 🙁
Yoda at the doc’s:
6 months, you have.
In remission, you are.
He still loves me.
Not broken, just cracked.
I was laughing so much at yours I cried…my saddest story is “my family is gone”
Lost weight eating doughnuts. Oh, so very HAPPY:). I like this contest.
What is broken-fixed
He left anyway.
Ha, mine’s only three words. I suck at this. 🙂
Cat can pee again.
Cat is peeing everywhere.
“The baby is yours”.
Could be good or bad.
One tequila
Two tequila
Three tequila
Floor
Happy: Her dream was achieved.
Sad: He died all alone.
“Please bring bail money”
Could be sad or happy, it all depends on the details.
My own sadly true story:
My son is dead.
Happiest we’ll get:
We have our daughters.
http://mommybusiness.net/being-joshs-mom/
He and I are soulmates
Heart surgery was successful
She loves chocolate cookies
He is so bored
he loved me back
(happy or sad, or a bit of both)
There was more cake.
His tumor came back.
She let it go
SAD: His penis was small.
He ate my Cheetos.
The flowers are dead.
Your baby is UGLY.
Jeff doesn’t get Jenny.
I miss my cat.
WE’RE OUT OF WINE!
(Jenny, this would luckily never happen at our house. We have 800 bottles of wine left in the basement! I’m just completing the assignment. So my first two happy statements reflect this.)
HAPPY:I was just kidding!
There’s tonza wine left.
(five words, really…so shoot me.)
I’m reading Jenny again!
We got another kitten.
Time for more wine.
Sad: The closet was emptied
Happy: Parents are on vacation
Both: Just one pink line…
He never found out.
We’re out of coffee.
She smelled puppy breath.
Some people can’t count.
Also:
I make GREAT pie.
Sad:
Is the love mutual?
Close but so far.
Alone with people around.
Somebody help me please.
Sometimes I hate myself.
My fears inhibit me.
My dreams are fading.
I need you today.
Best friends across oceans.
Happy:
I love my family.
Today I feel okay.
It could be worse.
Four paws, unconditional love.
Spiders crochet death doilies.
Motherfucker is two words
It’s not your baby.
I’ll miss you forever
I learned to dance
Saddest: She lived in fear.
Happiest: She believed in herself.
Okay, so I was going to post this one “Crib for sale, unused.” as a sad one when I have the vague feeling I was plagiarizing. Turns out, I was thinking of this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/For_sale:_baby_shoes,_never_worn
Happy: They always had guacamole.
I learned to dance.
I’ll miss you forever.
Happy: I love you… always.
Sad: I miss you…always.
Fuck you too clown!
I bought chocolate tonight
Sad(for the customer): the library is closed
Happy (for me, the librarian): the library is closed
Her ghost rested then.
Happy: Ecstatic joy throughout creation
Sad: Heat death of universe
Happiest:
I found that book!
I do not know.
Everything tastes like lint.
I love you, Mom!
Happy: Fifteen uninterrupted bathroom minutes.
Sad: Silence isn’t always golden.
She found a unicorn.
The Unicorn was republican.
😉
She’ll never be back.
Constant pain diminished her.
She learned to live.
She dreamt of more.
She found her people.
Pain fought and lost.
After rain came sunshine.
Love brought them together.
Alas, darkness was victorious.
There’s always more cake.
I’ll just leave you to guess which is which…
Constant pain diminished her.
She learned to live.
Love brought them together.
After rain came sunshine.
She lost the light.
I feel your pain.
She found her people.
Sad: Unjustly imprisoned, life fading
Happy: Big pile of puppies
Naptime was not interrupted.
I began to paint.
Buffy and Angel forever.
And she was glorious.
The universe survived humanity.
it wasn’t your fault.
The bacon was gone.
Cat can pee again.
Cat is peeing everywhere.Tr
I crapped my pants.
I have new pants!!
There wasn’t a choice.
I should have waited.
The food was gone.
This cracked me up
or
Well, that was interesting
She became her dreams.
Octopus hugs for all!
I’ll love you, always. (My salute to Alan Rickman, and also a happy story in 4 words.)
Anxiety doesn’t define me.
I’m my own me.
(do contractions count? Eh, they do now =])
And a classic:
We need to talk.
Happy: Dr. Who’s on Netflix!
Sad: Only until February first😖
saddest one here:
You are not original.
Bradley Cooper is calling.
I wrote this story
Happy: I promise you forever.
Sad: The baby didn’t survive.
Sad: I can’t have children.
Sad: You should leave me.
Happy: I promised you forever.
He doesn’t understand me.
What is that smell? Or. And then came vodka.
There was no cure.
~
They found each other.
Happy: We’re having a baby!
Sad: Can’t find the heartbeat.
She finally became herself.
she’s outside, looking in.
Failure consumed her thoughts.
There’s always tomorrow.
Making manhattans for Santa.
Body bag; Amazon wishlist.
The test was positive.
I quit my job.
Happy for me, sad for my bank account. Instead I’m hoping for “You got the job” first.
Sad;
What might have been
Happy: I’m damaged but whole.
Netflix has been cancelled.
Another snow day, bitches!
You are so awesome!
She settled for less.
I found my medicine! 🙂
and
Our neighbors moved back. 🙁
All things must pass (George Harrison)
Dad forgot my name.
the baby bunny exploded
I have more wine
It’s a bobcat, Jenny!
One stop too far.
Friday is a payday. 😀
Congratulations, it’s a girl!
All the numbers matched
The tax bill came
I’m 106 days sober!
I stopped hating me.
Manicmom: “Baby’s good with gravy.”
Where is this from?
I never said goodbye.
He was born today!
We need more cowbell.
Her divorce was final. This qualifies as happiest iot sad first, depending on the ex-spouse.
She would’ve been 46.😥
(If she hadn’t passed 17 years ago today.) 😥
I love you sister. 😘
The stick turned blue.
Sisters live on forever.
The drinks were free.
She couldn’t digest cheese.
New crib for sale.
Drinks on the house
This one could be either sad or happy:
“The test was positive.”
She just got hemorroids 🙁
She found a proctologyst 🙂
The nudist park survived.
Saddest: They never loved again
Happiest: oh look, more wine!
Happy: Bigger on the inside.
Sad: I didn’t say goodbye.
Sad: It might have been.
The car won’t start.
Just needs a battery.
Let that shit go.
The bacon is done.
We’re out of wine.
He burnt the bacon.
The bacon didn’t burn.
He couldn’t math.
Labs look stable now
You don’t have cancer.
And her heart shattered
Salsa enemas cure everything!
Lost soul, never found.
(Kind of a sentence fragment, but whatever.)
I couldn’t save them…
My patience almost depleted. Good or bad TBD.
Let him grow up.
And so it ends.
Sad: The Bloggess quit writing.
Happy: The Bloggess posted again!
On a side note, my phone didn’t want me to be sad, and auto-corrected the sad one to “The Bloggess quit whoring.” I cracked up laughing!
She feels it now.
Exactly as she imagined.
This is not life?
That wasn’t dairy-free.
Here’s the library key.
Where there was darkness.
Jenny brought them joy.
I am getting better.
lonelier than I thought.
Oh shit. He’s alive!
Your BMI Is 40%
Here is a sucker
(Same visit)
I laughed out loud!
Quick, get the shovel.
could have been better
Congress enacted Naked Day.
The kiss never ended
maybe it’ll grow back?
Sad: Life not as anticipated
Unexpected betrayal – so completely
Kids leaving the nest
Regret many past decisions
Yummiest foods most unhealthy
Happy: Mom’s 96: healthy, happy!
Kids becoming independent, successful!
Wonderful friends, very blessed
More cats? No problem!
Funny stuff, this exercise!
All shelter dogs adopted!
Don’t make me beat you. (Thoughts transmitted to other drivers in traffic.)
I’m out of wine. 🙁
Wait, I have vodka!!! 🙂
I prefer the ones that can go either way:
You are my everything.
The final bell rang…
I made you cookies.
Confess now: who farted?
Is that my period?
Sad: Dogs don’t live forever
Happy: All shelter dogs adopted!
The doctor banned chocolate.
It’s my real hair!
She grew up alone
Nevertheless she found love
then there was one.
Harry Connick Jr. standing near yarn sounds perfect to me! ~ A Music Loving Fiber Artist <3
The test was negative…could go either way
Knock knock motherfucker. Too good to top. Even if it is only three words.
The guacamole cost extra.
The pain was gone.
Happy: “Free bacon for everyone!”
Sad: “Donald Trump is elected”
I love you more.
Let us snuggle, darling.
Get a whole pound.
My program is on.
Yay, new Bloggess post!
Sad: His demons finally won.
Happy: I still have tequila.
Sad: I finished your book.
Happy: I restarted your book.
Happy: The smell was gone.
Sad: everyone else was dead.
Happy: she was not dead.
Sad: she could not die
It powered off automatically.
It was not real.
(You decide)
My husband did laundry.
Prepare for the apocalypse.
Happy:
Yay! I won Powerball!
Sad:
We’re out of coffee.
Happiest – I can finally retire
Worst to hear – We need to talk
Saddest – Your puppy has Kidney Disease.
Happy: The snow plows arrived
Sad: I have to shovel
Hey we had a lot of snow this weekend….
Strangers. Friends. Lovers. Strangers.
“They jumped holding hands” from my hubby,and “the cheesecake is off” are my saddest four words
The sun rose again.
Do you remember me?
Aww you two make me laugh and do that kinda emotional but happy weird face!
The doctors were wrong (could be happy OR sad, open to interpretation, was happy for us 🙂 )
Gay marriage is legal.
we,re having a baby
saddest: the wifi was gone.
happiest: the wifi came back.
sorry, I’m a simple creature. 😉
Eight pounds, three ounces.
There is no heartbeat.
🙂 I found the dog!
;-( Can’t find the dog!
Unsure: You did f…. what?
The Doctor is in
Bigger on the inside
Just don’t even blink!
Are you my mummy?
Who frowned this face?
Fish fingers and custard!
Wait, there was cake?
This will be the last.
That day never came.
He never stopped waiting.
The sun burnt out.
Trump just a dream
We have more cake.
Your last happy day
The cookies are done.
The kitten has died.
Free vodka for all!
My monkeys are sad.
Wine slushies are ready.
The squirrels are revolting.
This bacon is delicious.
I love The Blogess…
Canada Bell Let’s Talk
Doctor Who is cancelled.
Him: it’s not you…
Lullabies silenced in Titanic. (Anyone else unable to watch anything to do with Titanic because of the children locked down below? Devastates me).
Mum? It’s me, remember?
She hid the knives.
That’s. Not. Mr. Kittywhiskers
Collecting shells before tsunami
Grandpa seemed so small.
Endless walls surround her.
I can’t hold on.
(Hmm, I’d better start on happy….)
.
She could smile again.
Okay…let’s get happy:
Noah welcomed the unicorns.
Two words: Snape lives.
Kittywhiskers lives! Two cats!
Blue bees are real.
I love Blue Bees.
That sounds like Boobies.
Heh. Boobies. Heh heh.
Seriously, love Amegilla Cingulata.
He loved me forever.
(I could go on….hope that was a bit happier than the last!)
She found her strength.
Saddest 4 words:
chocolate red wine extinct
Firefly season twelve finale
The test was negative
She never followed the rules 😉
Pile of orange kittens
It’s time to go
Happiest, saddest and scariest words. I used to hear them from my parents when I was young, now from my wife… not too long before my kids say them too:
We need to talk.
Series I haven’t read
The crib remained empty.
The pants fit perfectly.
“Died in car accident.”
“You’re moving to Maui”
SAD: The cancer came back.
HAPPY: The X-FILES came back!
Bacon prevents heart disease.
Sad : The Cat threw up
Happy: Not my fucking problem !
The kids are asleep.
Her prison was home.
Heart scars always bleed
She missed the deadline
Can you tell I’m a student?
Happiest
She found the Nutella
Her heart lives here.
Sad: she always felt invisable.
Happy: she travelled the world
Sad: I’m sorry dads gone
Happy: let’s adopt a cat
Sad: too many kill shelters
Happy: always adopt don’t shop
Sad: my thoughts scare me
Happy: bell let’s talk day
Sad: I almost wasn’t here
Happy: getting help saved me
She had many regrets
The herpes cleared up
He broke her wings.
She learned to fly.
Seldom did it hurt.
She did it anyway!
He would never know.
She could breathe again.
The babies giggled
The disease erased her.
She beat all odds.
This could work for either happy or sad… I’ve used it for both:
“Oh my fucking GOD!”
Finally, she did it.
The tumor is benign!
Happy: He loved her anyway
Sad: Was only a dream
It wasn’t butt cancer!!
He left me behind.
The DoctorDonna is saved.
Mini human hugs soon.
Text message not delivered.
Random tiny ninja hugs.
The wine is gone.
The show has ended.
…
We have another keg!
I love you as is.
True Story:Sad- He said no Chickens. Happy-He bought her chickens….
It never snowed again.
He returned from war.
“Duck!” But he didn’t.
We will be alright.
You’re OK, I’m here.
I miss you brother!
Home from mental hospital!
It all worked out.
No one remembered me.
I survived another day.
Cake arrives at noon.
Engagement ring, half off.
Mother grieves at grave.
They never spoke again.
I have a horse. (happy me 🙂
She has a horse. (sad? husband)
Sad-“She just likes attention” said by my mother to the child protection worker when asked why she thought I was being molested by my father when I was 8 yars old.
Happy:”It wasn’t your fault” said by my Great Aunt when child services took me out of that house.
Sad:”I’m not pressing charges” said by my mother even though my father admitted what he’d done and there was physical evidence I’d been raped.
Sad: “I’m not leaving him” (she still hasn’t left him)
Sad: “She should come home.” (still my mother)
Happy: “She’s staying with me.” said by my Great Aunt my hero.
He just didn’t care.
They turned and fought.
It will get better.
And then she woke.
It is a girl!
Happiest: She believes in love.
Saddest: Some people never learn.
Then the rope broke.
@Maureen – The Sure Thing is the best movie ever! When my husband and I met, I couldn’t believe he and his friends knew all the quotes as well as my friends and I did. We even named our son Nick. (“Nick’s your buddy. Nick’s the kind of guy you can trust, the kind of guy you can drink a beer with, the kind of guy who doesn’t mind if you puke in his car, Nick!”) And those four words “the answer was no” make me smile. 🙂
What if, too late
Twelve gauge shot gun
Fireball and family reunions
Sad-What might have been
Happy–The test was negative
The unibrow was gone!
Happiest: And there was love.
Saddest: They’ll never get old.
Mom thinks I’m pretty.
Happiest: “I found The Bloggess”
Saddest: “Then she left. Forever.”
My happiest story is autobiographical; finding Jenny (and all o’ y’all) quite probably saved me, at one of the darkest times (yet) in my adult life. My saddest story hasn’t come true yet, but I constantly fear it will. Yay anxiety!
Sad- He’s dying of cancer.
Happy- I live in town.
Happiest and Saddest: In pain no more.
happy: “There is more wine”
sad: “Doctor stop giving Xanax”
They got a kitten.
We brought our new family member, Jynx, home from the shelter yesterday. There’s a lot of love in our house today!
The electricity is back!
He learned to flush!
happy or sad…can’t decide… “This IS six inches.”
Then the book ended.
He pulled the trigger.
We will be alright.
The cancer came back
I am in remission
there was no party
she woke up alone
he made fried bologna
rescue rabbits love pets
I forgot my book
You made me laugh-snort (at work)
I love them both.
Then there was one.
Her cancer is winning.
She has no pain.
His demons never returned
Or
They finally had children
Or most recent
She graduated with honours
After all this time?
The wine is gone.
He got more wine.
“You’re allergic to chocolate.”
He got the job.
“We need to talk”. Those were the first awful words that my doctor said to me after my ultrasound during my pregnancy in 2003.
If only he’d tried.
No win for Trump.
You broke my soul
I hate my life
My life is yours
Your skin smells bad
I think I’m dying
I have no legs
I just had sex
You make me laugh.
I made chocolate cake and The cake is gone.
Mine are about pet rats. In one of Jenny’s books she says something about people having a rat emergency. This is what that looks like.
Sad: My rat passed away.
Happy: A new baby rat!
I can’t take credit for this, another librarian came up with this. Because I work in the public yelling motherfucker wouldn’t probably work well for me. Her suggestion? yell, mutter…what ever… this instead “Oedipus!” I can’t tell you how much I’m enjoying this!
She wanted for nothing.
I can’t take credit for this, another librarian came up with this. Because I work in the public yelling motherfucker wouldn’t probably work well for me. Her suggestion? yell, mutter…what ever… this instead “Oedipus!” I can’t tell you how much I’m enjoying this! Just had another thought…what is it that the mother is always the one getting fucked? Oedipus works for either a motherfucker or……yeah….it works….fatherfucker……now there’s yet another reason for me to giggle at this.
It was too late.
My prolapsed anus hurts.
Everything will be okay.
Your nightmares are real.
She always sleeps alone.
She does not mind.
The clown waited patiently.
And then I pooped
Sad: married her for sex.
Sadder: admitted 30 years in.
The sun came out!!!!
(Happy) You make my dreams
Sad: I can’t taste bacon. OR Welcome, President Ted Cruz!
Happy: He opened his eyes. OR Welcome, President Bernie Sanders!
Happy:
The pills helped. Alot.
Sad:
All hope was lost.
My husband’s brain exploded.
We are still married.
Personally in my life:
Saddest from the ultrasound tech:
There is no heartbeat.
Happiest from the midwife:
It’s a boy!
SAD: We can’t save him.
HAPPY: Her love endured always.
Sad:
For sale; unused cradle.
Happy:
She let it go.
She lived for herself.
Happy with her body.
happy: her child did not die
sad: the cookies are gone
She’d found a home. (Happy)
Have some free books! (Very happy)
I’m going to Hawaii! (Happy, and true)
Dead baby animals everywhere. (Sad)
She’s now an orphan. She was well loved.
I bought you chocolate.
The chocolate is gone.
Is that really you?
They never understood why.
The chocolate was gone.
You are my everything.
We spent it well.
She finally knew herself.
What’s wrong with me?
She found some peace.
or
She figured shit out
(basically the same thing i guess).
Saddest. I take your bacon.
Happiest. I brought you bacon.
I just noticed the categories of this post.
People send you hate mail? What is WRONG with them?
GIve us their names so we can send them hate mail back…
They waited too long.
The wait was over.
Not happy or sad but something meta?
Amazingness in one word.
Although amazingness isn’t a word.
Sad: And, she died, forgotten.
Happy: He looked and knew.
Instant fan over here! Thanks to our friend Mescalime for sharing your blog. I laughed out loud at knock knock!
Cupcakes must have sprinkles!
Happy: See you this weekend!
Sad: He never called again.
Finally, they were together. (happy)
Their chance never came. (sad)
It is never over. I am not alone.
Sad: The ocean between us
happy: The house we share
My husband didn’t believe me when I told him I just wrote our story in 8 words.
She finally met herself
She finally moved on
And there he stood
There’s not enough time.
They were in love.
Her brother died.
She lost her mind.
He made a promise.
She was not enough.
He threw her away.
She is ruined.
It can get better.
Could go either way:
“I’ve really missed you”
The lambs stopped screaming.
(Sorry Victor lol)
Burritos are gone forever.
Sad, obviously.
Happy: She repaid her debts.
Sad: She’s unkissed at 50.
Ooooh, one more. “Furious happiness is awesome!”
Your chihuahua was delicious.
Your kids were delicious.
Everything was… just delicious.
Taco Bell was closed.
The kids were asleep.
Mom, I have cancer.
I got the job!
The meds stopped working.
Knock, knock, KNOCK, motherfucker.
There. I fixed it for y’all. You’re welcome. 😛
She finally said goodbye
I have three sisters.
There’s a LIKE button!
You are my light.
Our darkness is shining.
Sad – She was really sick. Happy – He bought her diamonds.
Saddest:
I accidentally killed myself.
Or
The money ran out.
Happiest:
I won the lottery.
My tire wasn’t flat.
Saddest:
I accidentally killed myself.
Or
The money ran out.
Happiest:
I won the lottery.
It’s indoor recess again.
She believed in herself
That’s what she said.
Her heart stopped beating.
sad: People drank Flint water.
happy: People gave Flint water.
They found a cure.
Sad: Sue farted in class.
Happy sci-fi: I have chocolate spit.
She cried silently alone.
He looked so lonely.
They laughed together uproariously.
You are not alone.
“He left her cold.” I like that one because it has so many possible meanings! He took his warmth away from the bed so she was cold! He had no feelings so she felt emotionally cold inside! He killed her and left her cold body somewhere!
“Ice cream for everyone!”
I remember skyping my boss from a work conference call and I could see he was distracted but I will forever hang shit on him for when his face lit in pure unadulterated joy and marveled “I FOUND CARMEN SANDIEGO!!!” #Happy4
But not sure if this qualifies as #Sad4 but it doesn’t matter if it’s my boss, my dad, my friends, my doctor…Nothing terrifies me more than the 4 words…
“….we need to talk.”
I will be ok.
Narwhal and unicorn mated.
Happy story: I have awesome friends.
She let him go.
He let her go.
She made them end.
It lasted for them.
They all were loved.
They lived together forever.
They all found peace.
It was made together.
It was torn apart.
He didn’t give up.
They found a way.
Well, it’s a little over the limit, but this one by Ernest Hemingway always struck a nerve of mine.
“For sale; Baby shoes. Never worn.”
Just laughed for the first time today! Ha! I did it again.
Happy: Congratulations, it’s a girl!
Sad: The world passed by.
She was entirely alone.
She lived her passion.
Mom, Dad, I’m gay.
I found my soulmate!
I love you, mom.
Happy: Time heals all wounds.
Happier: Time wounds all heels.
Happiest: I witnessed the comeuppance.
Those multiple entries read like a new form of haiku.
Sad: Love returned, not reciprocated.
Happy: Love, despite all, endures.
I feel so alone
Tomorrow is another day
She believed in herself
Get the fuck out!
I love you more
Will you marry me?
Life is worth living
Motherfucker makes me laugh
That last one is so versatile. :
They stockpiled fossilized grief.
She finally killed herself
He changed the locks.
Two girls. One cup.
The fart betrayed me.
Drunk texted my ex.
I thought I could . . .
The sun is out.
Time to move on.
Her spleen fell out.
Ford Pintos were reinstated…!!!
He never wrote back.
She survived…….then LIVED!!
“Your loan is denied”
Cats devoured her eyeballs.
And then he sharted.
“More Champagne?” “Yes please!”
Come on, let’s dance!
Saddest- I’ll just have water.
They made me laugh!
He had left already.
She held his shirt.
I literally loled! Your relationship with Victor is what I aspire to!
She lived her dreams.
No sign of cancer
Jessica Fletcher is visiting.
Jessica Fletcher is visiting….
Be kinder than necessary.
Her family grew apart.
Here is one that can be either/or
I got my period.
I’m not worried so much about “happiest” or “saddest.” For me, it’s really about the simple pleasures. Just give me the story of a small victory that I can share with a close friend when the timing seems right. Something like… “I boned your mom.”
Too broken to live.
Happiest: Somewhere over the rainbow
Sad: She never loved again
He’s an abusive narcissist
He apologized for everything
he’s an abusive narcissist
Sad: She completely gave up.
Happy: She didn’t give up.
Sad: She utterly gave up.
Happy: She didn’t give up.
Sad: Born on Leap Day.
This one is for Rachel (comment 71)
Multiple cats? Buy Feliway!
Life is hard, but
we have each other.
Superman is not real.
The cake was gone!
“The surgery went well.”
(I’m actually in the waiting room right now, waiting for the doctor to come tell me this.)
Red-eye gravy on tap!
Sometimes pain goes away
My cat is sick.
This is sad because it’s true 🙁
Free bacon for vegetarians.
The attic kept everything.
(I’m kind of a fan of ambiguity.)
Happiest: The test was negative 🙂
Saddest: The test was positive ;(
she found her keys
forever is not forever….
It will get better ☺
I can’t remember her. 😔
So relieved! He’s 18.
Sad: Her husband raped her.
Happy: Starbuck’s Frappuccino on sale.
Sad: He showed no remorse.
Happy: She learned to thrive.
Like mother, like daughter. I suppose it could go either way.
Happy – “She wasn’t scared anymore”
Sad – “She forgot to live”
Inspiration within crashing waves.
She never looked back.
I will quit tommorow.
recurring big kidney stones
She read the Bloggess.
They slept all night.
Depression lost again today
Her sharing saved lives. Her humor freed laughter. Thank you dear friend.
Puppy was never found.
Wrinkles were ironed out.
“what’s next?” she asked.
God held her hand.
One minute too late.
Happy- They were finally free.
Sad- So she stopped trying.
You make me smile
The children were loved.
husband’s contribution to sad:
“The unused baby clothes”
and now i’m upset.
so happy…
“I like big butts” (because I defy ANYONE to not start singing and smile)
They found each other.
The wine was gone.
No more wine ever.
The wine caused herpes.
(that’s enough sad wine stories)
I woke up again.
She could finally leave.
And she finally left.
She skipped merrily along.
She slept with dogs.
Ate ice cream dinners.
She slept till waking.
She traveled the world.
She laughed a lot.
She made friends everywhere.
These are all happy stories – at least to me. Because you shouldn’t have to leave to do any of these things. Except maybe sleeping with dogs. If you share a bed that is negotiable.
“For sale: cradle. Unused.”
Is it bad that on “The baby spontaneously combusted.” I laughed really hard?
Saddest: “Her memory was gone”
Happiest: “She believed in herself”
Sad: She missed her dog.
Happy: The bread has arrived!
Excitedly, She said Yes
Perfect Cream / Pie ratio
The puppies are born!
You are Worth It!
I read somewhere that someone challenged Hemingway to do this in 6 words. His 6 words have stayed with me forever and, as a writer, I challenge myself and my writer husband to do this from time to time. Hemingway’s words? “Baby shoes for sale. Never worn.” (Someone besides me may have posted this already, I sprained my back and rather than treat it, my doctor told me I needed to “feel the pain” so I would’t re-injure it. He’s a real jackass. But, my point is, I couldn’t focus on all the answers, but I really wanted to share this one). “Baby shoes for sale. Never worn.”
Today my 4 words are: She loved him only. (Did someone do this one too? See above).
Well that escalated quickly.
I don’t love you.
Mine: the results were negative!
My husband’s: her alimony was DENIED.
Icarus flew too high.
No one believed her.
She was an inspiration.
He didn’t love her.
He was already married.
He loved someone else.
They met too late.
Sad: Some wounds don’t heal.
Happy: We were weird together!
Good: life is to short
Bad: life is (fucking) too long
The sun came out
Her mother came back.
You are cancer free.
He did the dishes!
She lost her dream.
Happiest Four: You were wrongfully accused.
Saddest Four: Sign the divorce papers.
My comment got lost. Very Sad Story!
She got a kitten.
I can do it in 2 words . . .
Rose Tyler . . .
She never woke up.
We made those children.
Mal is my Captain.
I aim to misbehave.
Why was Firefly cancelled?
The hole got filled.
WIFI IS NOT WORKING.
(All in caps)
I didn’t cry yesterday.
He FINALLY understood her.
Sad: The cancer isn’t gone.
Happy: Here’s cake, just because!
Heard both in the last two weeks….
But she never really tried.
He started to listen.
And she died alone.
Sad story: We cry at night.
Happy story: Our tears bring light.
The cat came back
Sad
My mother is gone
Happy
My mother is gone
He loved another woman,
And her heart shattered.
What was broken-fixed
Love brought back together.
He loved her anew.
Not broken, just cracked.
She’ll never trust again.
She’ll never love again.
She got back up
soylent green is people
you decide happy/sad
For me, the saddest, and for my husband, the happiest:
“There’s no more cheese.”
Anyone else have another happy/sad combo?
I still remember the saddest sentence I ever read. It was in a photography book, non-fiction people around the world sort of thing. “Baby left to beg alone.”
Happy: We have the time.
Sad: Body identified; it’s him.
Sad:
He was never loved.
So she died alone.
I should have called.
I’m living a lie.
He can’t trust anyone.
Happy:
I do love you.
They fell asleep cuddling.
He warmed her feet.
I needed that hug.
And we finally kissed.
Got one that can work for both.
She finally moved on.
No stories could exist.
I’m cheating. This is Hemingway’s: for sale, baby shoes, never worn. So, that’s six, but still sad.
Her time had passed.
and he knew why
SHE BELIEVED IN GOD
Have mercy on me. This can be either happy or sad my father asked for mercy at the end. I hope for mercy .This is another four word conundrum. On Jan 26, 2016 11:45 AM, “The Bloggess” wrote: > > thebloggess posted: “Conversation with Victor at lunch: Victor: I read something about a contest where you have to come up with the saddest story in just four words, and I think I’ve nailed it. me: Okay. Hit me. Victor: “She loved someone else.” me: Ooh, that ” >
She got very sick.
Doctors don’t know why.
Her health kept worsening.
She lost her job.
She lost her friends.
She even lost herself.
Grocery shopping is panic.
Walking is now impossible.
She lives in books.
“You don’t look sick.”
She can’t stop crying.
Someone please see me.
Someone, please rescue me.
I feel so invisible.
I feel so worthless.
I can’t control anything.
The darkness calls, unfailingly.
She resists, but barely.
Where is my happiness?
What happened to me?
She got very sick.
Doctors don’t know why.
Her health kept worsening.
She lost her job.
She lost her friends.
She even lost herself.
Grocery shopping is panic.
Walking is now impossible.
She lives in books.
“You don’t look sick.”
She can’t stop crying.
Someone please see me.
Someone, please rescue me.
I feel so invisible.
I feel so worthless.
I can’t control anything.
The darkness calls, unfailingly.
She resists, but barely.
Where is my happiness?
What happened to me?
Cake is a lie.
My lottery numbers won.
Happiest will be (I hope) Daisy doesn’t have lymphoma. (Our dog Daisy May) Saddest: Any Patty Griffin song. (Mary, Sweet Lorraine, etc)
saddest: She forgot to live.
happiest: He loved her faults.
Here are some ambivalent lines to fit both categories.
Read them independently, or in a string.
The infant’s eyes closed.
It hurt…at first.
He wiped her tears.
That smile changed everything.
She married him anyway.
“It’s just the beginning.”
The heaving stopped momentarily.
Every muscle completely relaxed.
He heard her sigh.
He looked at peace.
She was finally, alone.
Her panic attacks vanished.
Happy: Survived Near Death Experience.
Sad: I had Multiple Miscarriages.
He never loved you.
You are a mistake.
She has left…again.
Nobody ever liked you.
I forgotten about you.
I like somebody else.
She doesn’t even care.
I’m losing my mind.
You are my world.
I love you 2.
I’m proud of you.
You’re my best friend.
I am happy again.
i don’t care anymore.
He was never mine
I won’t be loved
He left this morning
He returned the keys
The ring does not fit
I was not her
Happy: He liked me back
Sad: He doesn’t see me
the world was healed