I might be overthinking this.

in Random Crap

I was just at the drug store and as I was leaving the cashier said, “Thanks. I hope you find your destiny.”  And I didn’t know how to respond because it’s a nice thought but if it’s your destiny you can’t not find it.  That’s how destiny works.  So maybe the nicer thing to say would be, “I hope you find your destiny to be rewarding and full of cheese and puppies or whatever it is you’re personally into“?  That’s probably too long but it still seems preferable to the “Have a nice day” sign-off because that’s always seemed sort of bossy.  You can’t tell me what kind of a day to have.  I’ll have whatever kind of day my destiny has in store for me.  OMG FULL CIRCLE.

Then I tried to explain all of this to Victor and he was like, “STOP TEXTING ME.”  But I can’t, Victor.   Because destiny.

Long story short:  None of this is my fault.

PS. I don’t have a picture for this so I’m going to share this photo of Hunter S. Thomcat:

screen-shot-2016-09-06-at-1-18-44-pm

I’ve been trying to teach him tricks to burn off a little fluff but he refused because Dorothy Barker was lapping him and people were all “You can’t teach a cat tricks because they refuse to look stupid” and I was like, don’t underestimate my cat, y’all.

screen-shot-2016-09-06-at-1-16-39-pm

And then people were like, “You taught your cat to eat cat food?  That’s not a trick.  That’s how cats survive.” But you just couldn’t see in the photos that Hunter was totally standing up for the treats. So he’s building up his core.

screen-shot-2016-09-06-at-1-16-15-pm

He’s looking thinner already.  Thinner and ridiculous.

PPS.  Those are his knees.  Not his balls.  It’s weird I have to clarify that.

 

153 thoughts on “I might be overthinking this.”

Read comments below or add one.

  2. Ok, I totally knew those were his knees. Cat knees. Also, cats don’t normally eat food from human fingers. I found this out at the vet once, so technically that IS a trick. And getting him to stand up is totally a trick, so he actually knows two. So there!

  6. I read “I hope you find your destiny” in a very sarcastic tone. Like, clearly he’s not living his (have you ever worked retail? Soul-sucking) but hey, that’s fine lady. You go ahead and find your destiny.

    That’s probably just because I had a really annoying waitress at lunch, though. Yay, Hunter! Lookin’ good!

  7. I love that on this crappy day, both because of the refrigerator dying and too many choices, and more importantly, being worried about one of our cats – actually two, but one we know what’s wrong thanks to several great vets, that you made me do that unexpected not quite silent wheezy laugh noise. Actually Hunter did. But now I’m getting teary thinking of our cats, so will look at the photo again. Laugh through blurred eyes.

  8. Okay, so I totally call this last pose “meerkatting” when one of my cats does it. In fact, I yell it out every time I catch him so the neighbors will think either I’m crazy or they’ll think I’m hoarding meerkats. Frankly, it’s a win either way.

  9. I would much rather be sent off with a destiny related wish than ‘Stay hydrated’ which seems to be a new way of saying bye here in California. I am not sure how this started but suspect it may be related to the drought.

  12. I frequently post pictures of my cat and I too have to put in a footnote disclaiming that those are his knees and not his balls. I’ve become so accustomed to doing it that I didn’t even realize it was weird until you mentioned it and then I was like “oh yea… that is kind of weird now that I read it from someone else.”
    I also just spelt “put” as “poot”. I need a fucking nap.

  15. At the checkout line, I said “Oh I don’t need a bag, thanks.”
    “Thank you for your honesty,” came the reply.
    I wasn’t sure what to say. So I said, “what?”
    “Thank you for your honesty.”
    “sure.” tried not to visibly eyeroll or sound sarcastic. Though, I think they saw my mind do it nonetheless.

  16. I was so concerned with sharing that story I forgot my original comment.

    A clerk saying, “I hope you find your destiny” would be the perfect opening to a Philip K. Dick short story.

    Not nearly as interesting as Hunter’s balls, but more literary.

  17. I’m glad to see that you encourage exercise, but don’t fat-shame your cat. Perhaps you should compliment the cat on his fluffy, adorable knees. (Make sure you are looking at his knees and not his balls while doing this.)

  22. All I can think is “we’re all destined to die so was the cashier nicely saying Drop Dead?” But that’s just me.

  23. What kind of a remark is that? “I hope you find your destiny” I am sure some people wouldn’t even know what the hell that meant…LOL…anyway..I love the way Hunter S Tomcat is sitting..do you call him by his full name or does he have a nickname..that would be too long for me when I had to call him for some reason…

    (We call him “Hunts” quite a bit. Or HST. ~ Jenny)

  25. All I can now think of is a lost Destiny’s Child CD that you may or may not have lost and somehow the cashier knew you lost (or are going to lose) it.

  29. I adore you! You make me laugh and, sometimes cry. Mostly when you are feeling bad. I hope you have less bad feelings in your life. We all love you. And Hunter has it nailed!

  30. Aw man, I hate it when you drop your destiny in the store and you don’t realize it until you’ve gotten home. And then you haul your ass back to the store and you check all the aisles, but you can’t find your destiny anywhere, so you have to ask the employees about it, and they’re like, “Nope, nobody’s turned in any destinies recently,” so you go home and maybe hyperventilate a little and then phone up the destiny company to have them cancel your destiny and issue a new one, and just as you finally get through to a rep there’s a knock at the door and it’s friggin’ opportunity and you’re like, “OMG opportunity, can you just NOT right now? I’m in the middle of a phone call.”

  31. Cats CAN learn tricks. Mine will sit, shake, spin, and give kisses. Only if treats are involved, otherwise he does not listen to humans for any reason whatsoever, tyvm.

  32. Me too am sick of “have a nice day” !!! I just flash em the peace sign and hope they read about the 60’s. Finding your destiny is not “a given”. Many reincarnations may (& probably will) be required. I bet the Destiny Wishers are glad they didn’t run into me.

  34. I think you should make a card with “Hope you find your destiny” with a pic of your cat doing its trick under it. I would totally love that card!

  40. I make my lazy cat Guchi stand up for treats. All she does is sleep in one of two spots all day and all night. She needs SOME kind of exercise. lol.

  41. One: At least she didn’t say “Off you Fuck!” Funnier but probably not the best for Customer Service.
    Two: Hunter S. Thomcat looks more dignified in a ‘Butler’ sort of way and less ridiculous.
    Three: At least Hunter let’s you take pictures of him. My Cat sees my phone and Off she Fucks!

  43. I hope my destiny is full of good coffee, eggs Benedict, rig eye steak, endless yum cha and Queensland nut ice cream with salted caramel topping!

  46. Best incentive for training cats is delicious food! I use tiny bits of tuna on the end of a spoon, packed in water because lower calories.

  48. We have the three laziest cats in the known universe – one of them we suspect eats elsewhere during the day too. We bought a collar with “DON’T FEED ME” written on it, and he very quickly disposed of it (I imagine it’s hanging on a secret rack somewhere with all the other collars we have bought them over the years).

  49. “I hope you find your destiny” is the sort of comment that would initially make me feel really happy and well-wished, but then later make me wonder if it’s some kind of curse. After all, one’s destiny is not necessarily positive. Now I think I might start saying it, just to see if other people would get as unsettled as I would. Yes, I am mean that way.

    Also, Hunter looks so. Darn. Serious. His body language screams “this is not a trick! I am a god! An upright God!!”

    Right. I’m in a strange mood today.

  54. Aw, poor ol’ HST, gettin’ all stuck up in the bannister and shit. Bummer, dude. While you have a point, I like that the cashier is trying to mix it up a little. 😉

  55. Our cat is 19 years old. When he was younger he would roll over or stand up on his hind legs to get a puffy Cheeto. He loves puffy Cheetos. Our friend had a cat who would fall over dead when shot with a finger gun. Cats can totally be trained. You just have to find the right incentive and be very patient.

  57. My daughter named our cat (who looks like HST) Kairi after some anime character, but I call her Fat Ass. Because she is. And she looks at me when I say it….so she knows….LOL

  58. My husband trained my cat ( Snapdragon Rosey-Nose Beloved) to sit up like that. Fine Italian hams were involved. God I miss that cat…..

  59. We taught our cat to sit, and he actually got the hang of it faster than the dog did. The only thing is he will ONLY sit if it is meal time. If you’re not about to feed him, he just looks at you like “what for?”.

  60. Once upon a long time ago I had a friend who named his cat Mr. F.B., which stood for Mr. Furry Balls. Thinking about it now, he was kind of ahead of his time because Mr. F.B. could have stood for Mr. Facebook. Except that Facebook hadn’t been invented yet. It was the 80’s. OMG I think my age just caught up with my memories! I need a glass of wine.

  61. Your cat actually EATS cat food? Now that’s a good trick right there. Mine just gives me dirty looks when I tell her to eat her cat food when it’s like, 5 minutes old. Or else she eats it and then conveniently hurls it back up on my bed.

  62. Carl taught Dennis, the cat
    To jump to a fine Chinese mat
    When the cat heard the cue
    He obligingly flew
    But the mat slipped
    And Dennis went splat.

    Written for my brother and his cat who did several interesting tricks.
    My cats know to pull on a string with jingle bells by the back door what they want to go outside. That was a terrible trick to teach them because invariably they use it at 3:30am. And if I don’t respond fast enough they ring them very loudly.

  63. I don’t know I side with the cashier. I think if ur a total douche canoe you could possibly miss a great destiny. That whole free will making good life choices thing my mom would always bug me about. Also I work retail and when I’m working with a real a-hole I say “have a super sparkly day” in the most sweetly high pitched voice I can create. The customers love it and it annoys the fu** out of my coworker. I’m evil what can I say.

  65. I don’t have anything really funny or meaningful to add. Just here to say hi and I hope you’re having a good brain day. Hi! Oh, I left the house and went to FIVE PLACES today. I’m exhausted but I have a book club meeting tonight. Ok, now I’m done.

  66. Ha ha! Thanks for the clarification. Maybe the clerk was a Puritan and she was just hoping you were one of the “selected” ones.

  67. I’m with Beth. Having had such a crappy last couple of weeks, the image of Hunter getting his core on just made me snort. Also, he looks a little Old Concerned Man or something. Is he OK? Or does he just make that face when he’s in training and working up a sweat? He looks uncomfortable. Go! Go ask him how he feeeeeels!! I need to know!

  69. My cat will stand right up on his back feet and catch a treat in his mouth like a dog. He doesn’t have balls anymore, but he does still have knees.

  70. I had a cat that would fetch. So, yeah cat can do tricks. Also in terms of drug store conversations my most interesting to date went like this:
    Cashier (leaning in and asking in a sort of secretive way): Can I ask you something?
    Me (also leaning in because that is what you do and speaking in an uncertain, uneasy sort of way): Yes?
    Cashier: Do you go through the hand lotion pretty quickly?
    Me (confused): Um…yeah?
    Cashier: Because I noticed it expires in September.

    This was in like June so I guess that if I used that lotion now my skin would all melt off. Unfortunately I’m not sure which bottle it is so now I can’t use any hand lotion.

  72. Or maybe it was supposed to be ‘density’ like in Back to the Future.

    “I hope you find your density.”

    It’s a little more concrete anyway.

  73. I think “I hope you find your destiny” is an odd thing to say. I think they are trying to outdo themselves in trying to find new, cute ways to say, “thanks a lot! come again!”

  74. Until I saw the ‘stay hydrated’ thing, I assumed your drug store was in California. That totally sounds like a California thing to say. But no, you live in Texas. Did she say y’all? Cause then I would believe Texas. But Texas doesn’t really seem like a place where they would care about your destiny. Or maybe the clerk was from California, now living in Texas (which would explain the lack of a y’all). OK, now I’M really overthinking this. That’s my destiny. Apparently.

  75. I taught my cats high five, beg, sit , and to come at a whistle. And I’m very envious of people who have cats that fetch.

  76. Maybe Destiny is a person? I had something clever to add, then I looked down my window at the street, saw a pigeon walking beside a guy and for a minute, I was like, “That’s the tiniest fucking dog I’ve ever seen!! And then I realized it was just a pigeon and was simultaneously relieved AND disappointed. So now I’m all distracted. I’ll try to be funnier next time. But pigeon dogs…

  77. I try to fit in with regular people, I honestly do, but I don’t even know what I would say to the destiny thing. One wants to be nice to strangers when possible, but when they throw odd sentiments at us, what to do? I’m not even sure what destiny is, and I doubt that cashier is too clear on the concept. Is destiny the end point? If so, then it is everyone’s destiny to die. Is that what the cashier wishes? Or is destiny any of the high points along the way? Like the photos we choose for the album vs the ones we carefully hide in the garbage where no one will ever see them again. Is destiny the entire journey? Is it something assigned to us after we die by someone watching from the sidelines? But still, if cashiers are going to send us their best wishes, at least his one isn’t basing the comments on the products you buy. “I hope you find your destiny” is still preferable to, “I hope the rash clears up.”

    And on the whole cat balls thing, when I took our latest stray cat in to have him fixed, they called me back to pick him up because he was already fixed. He wouldn’t even look at me.

  80. Wifey and I were just arguing about why people love dogs and hate cats. Sorry, this is going to be barely related to your post.
    I do happen to love dogs, but I’m a pet guy… at least a mammalian pet guy… as long as they’re cats or dogs… anyway. We’re more or less cat people, but mostly because our cat, Gil Gunderson, is the most awesome and self-sufficient cat to ever live. Sometimes, when we’re on trips, our “sitter” will forget to feed him for a few days. Feathers in the dining room is evidence of what an awesome self-feeder he is. He’s independent and, when he’s around the house, it’s only because he wants a little love.
    However, folks in Idaho HATE them. Dogs are the best. Cats are to be shot at with BB guns by small children whose minds have been warped by their evil, rednecky parents. WHY?
    Don’t get me wrong. I love dogs and they’re awesome. But a cat has never almost killed me in an attempt to get some affection, nor has that happened to my toddler or my wife. In fact, our cat tolerates my evil toddlers attempts to remove his tail and even sits there and takes it when Garrett TACKLES him. No scratching or nuffin’!

  82. But what if I accidentally got someone ELSE’s destiny? How would I know? Maybe I’m not supposed to be a zookeeper. Maybe I was supposed to be a can-can girl.

    Also, you CAN teach cats things. It’s just usually the shoe is on the other foot, and they’re the ones training US.

  85. Does Hunter expect to drop serious lbs standing upright? Poor guy. I’ve been doing that shit for over forty years and have yet to drop an ounce that way. Hope he has better luck than me!

  86. Those would be amazing cat balls if they weren’t knees or tummy floof disguised as knees. On the question of finding your destiny, my class would be concerned. They just learned about fate/destiny and free will then found out that Oedipus and his mom were more than friends.

  87. I am loving Hunter so much more than my own cat right now, who is being a total asshole. He ate his breakfast then puked it up in the middle of the carpet, and he even has a kitty door to get outside into our fenced in backyard. I don’t DO PUKE, so it’s going to have to sit there until my husband gets home. Cats are little bastards who know how to make us love them again after a few minutes. It’s such a rollercoaster.

  89. So, today I had my 2nd appt. with the nurse practitioner who is helping out with the new dr who has taken over my former psychiatrist’s practice. She is recruiting me to be born again. I smiled politely, inwardly screaming to get out of there. I’m sure Jesus is a good guy, and his team is full of well-meaning players. But I come here for Xanax, not religion, and my anxiety level was going up, not down. If this is my destiny, I need to throw a boomerang.

  90. I like the idea of saying something different as a goodbye. I will always remember leaving Ariel’s Grotto in Disney World and she called out to my daughter, “Enjoy your feet!” Needless to say, she always will…

  91. How long has your destiny been missing? Where did you see it last? Did you look behind the sofa? Sometimes the cats hide things there. I hope you find your destiny soon!

    HST is a real cutie, who would never get his balls mixed up with his knees.

  92. The whole destiny thing reminds me of an odd conversation I recently had with a realtor.

    I like to look at houses on real estate websites because it’s a socially approved (well, maybe not) method of going through strange houses. The trouble is, I got myself registered with a particular realtor and every now and then he calls me up to see if I want to sell my house and buy one of his properties. I always say no. (I don’t even want THIS house, buying a house is one of the biggest mistakes I ever made.) Anyway, we had a chat recently which shifted unexpectedly into religion…

    Me: No. I don’t want to buy a house. I’d sell THIS one except that I have cats and the landlord mantra around here is No Pets No Pets No Smoking No Pets… I wish I’d never bought the house. I’m held hostage by bills and possesesions…

    Real Estate Agent: Well, you must always remember that the earth is the Lord’s and we are as vapor…

    [Me: (thinking) WHAAAAAT, how can this man be a realtor and believe this…???]

    The conversation continued in this manner, because I haven’t got the heart to be really sarcastic with people who seem to be sincerely spriritual, until I excused myself by saying that it was nice chatting with him, but I needed (and perhaps it was my DESTINY) to pull some weeds out of the Lord’s earth.

    Serves me right for baring my soul to a realtor…

    I worked a cash register at Ptarjee. The things I said to people… but never “I hope you find your destiny.”

    I did once offer to sing “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina” to a guy if only he would sign up for a Red Card. He took me up on it, but I insisted he sign up for the card, first. He wouldn’t do it. And the world was spared…

  93. I love you! Not in a weird stalker way but in a way that my brain feels like it relates to your random wonderful thought process.

  95. I’m so glad I found you. You are so funny and I really enjoy everything you post on all the sites.

  96. So now you have me wondering . . . was the clerk’s comment a friendly “I hope you find your destiny” or a seething I’m-so-mad-at-you-because-you-made-me-change-a fifty-dollar-bill “I hope you find your destiny. Now it’s a cliffhanger.

  97. I thought the Hunt Man and Mr. Ferris Wheel were already 100% nut-free…

    Love watching you train the beasties. We do clicker training with the cats at the shelter. I’ve been slacking with my foster kittens, though. I had puppies too and they needed the training more (bitey little shits), but they’re ripe and now it’s time to focus on the cats.

    BTW, I’ve had really good luck feeding my tank Natural Balance Fat Dog. She’s now svelte (for a pibble) and looks great. NB also makes Fat Cat kibble. I’m hoping they’ll make some Fat Human next, it’s been a zaftig summer for me.

  98. Hunter S. Tomcat is wicked cool – and has a great sense of humor clearly:) EEEEK i’m really freaking out tonight have an appointment with a Psychiatrist tomorrow, and am NOT feeling good about it at all – wish me luck.

  99. The comma splice in my last sentence is going to make me crazy; it should be a semi-colon instead of a comma after “next.” Maybe that’s my destiny.

  100. OMG! I get the same responses out of my wife when I text spectacular thoughts!
    By the way, I’m really glad those are knees.

  102. Maybe she meant Destin Beach? Now THAT would be a nice send-off. After 20 years in retail, the best I could manage was “Have a nice day, and fuck off.”

  103. Maybe you misunderstood the cashier. They don’t always speak clearly. Maybe she said, “Hope you find your chest, honey.” Or perhaps, “Hope you find your epiphany.” Or “Hope you have a dusty fanny.” Just saying. After 27 years of standing at the airplane door saying “bye-bye” “bye-bye” “bye-bye” almost anything might have come out of my mouth.

  106. At Walgreen’s, no matter what you buy, the cashier looks you in the eye and says “Be well.” It’s a little startling when I’ve just purchased a movie theater size box of Milk Duds, a 42 ounce Slurpee and a PedEgg. Is it that obvious?

  108. I am in love with Hunter, balls, knees, everything. He’s gorgeous. As to the cashier, I speak sarcasm as my first language, and have a horrible time keeping it in check when people say meaningless crap after a transaction. Have a nice day WAS overused, but some of the weird shit people have come up with to replace that phrase are even worse. Just say BYE already!

  111. My destiny was to stumble across your blog. When I need a boost, you always cheer me up. You are marvelously talented – so cat training should be no problem for you. Your destiny is to be you in all your glory.

  112. If it was supposed to be Desitin instead of destiny, try Monkey Butt.

    I need to put my Samwise formerly of the Gray Pants on a diet. But he complains … loudly … at 3am.

  113. You’re going to have the buffest cat. Is that a thing? Buffest? Autocorrect is telling me it’s not a thing, but then it also doesn’t like me to write autocorrect, so…

  114. I have been in a funk for a while,but your books, blog, and tweets always make me laugh, thank you.

  115. What if her name is Destiny and she was hitting on you in a way that you’d either get it and make a move, or you’d ponder it and over think what she meant by it. It’s bloody genius, if anyone needs me I’ll be at city hall changing my name to Destiny.

  116. If somebody gave me that “destiny” line, I’d probably shoot back, “Oh, great. Now I have to find my destiny? I don’t have enough on my plate?”

  117. As a vet tech, I’ve totally seen balls that big on a Tom cat, but they totally stick out behind, not in front… Funny one recently had his tail amputated and now his balls have nothing to hide them from site and it’s really hard not to stare at them (and imagine drawing a face on them)… If it weren’t against confidentiality rules, I totally would have taken a pic to show you! Also, my cats are trained. They come when I whistle x-files theme song or the Star Wars theme song, and I used to have them trained to sit, but then they decided that they would only do it for food. Clicker training cats is also a thing: http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/clicker-training/ if you want to learn to do it!!!! Sorry, I talk a lot about cats!

  118. The clerk could also have been saying “I hope you find your Destin,” as in Destin, Florida. I’ve been there. It’s a trick to find the part that is ACTUALLY Destin and not some whimsically-named suburb or condo development. Especially when your driver prefers to drive around a Florida city block until the local cops wonder WTF, Illinois driver, and follow us until we make our way out of town. But I hold no grudges for that 2-hours-outta-my-life-I-will-never-get-back episode. Nope. Not me.
    My three-year-old kitten sometimes gets his head temporarily stuck in between the newel posts of our staircase. He acts all panicky until I get up and rub his ears, then when he’s had enough, he twists his neck and frees himself. Cats stuck in stairs tend to be false alarms.

  120. Cats are amazing at tricks! Mine high-five, play dead, and hop up onto the barstools! oh, and come when called… unless they don’t feel like it. Actually– all those tricks are ‘unless they don’t feel like it’, or they can’t see the treat, or it’s not the treat they want, or one of the other cats is watching…. fine. my cat’s aren’t amazing at tricks. they’re amazing at tricks…. for cats.

  121. So as the responsible pet owner I know you must be – I presumed Hunter’s balls were long gone? No more kitten making! I knew those were his knees.

  123. Omgaaawwwwdddd! That is toats adorbs! If he really learned to do that for a treat, I am IMPRESSED!! My cat just kinda acts all ordinary. I’m not nearly as cool or awesome as you, though. YOU FUCKIN’ ROCK AND ROLL!

  124. 1) Apparently those balls were Hunter’s destiny.
    2) I actually trained my cat, Khaleesi, to roll over on command. And by “trained,” I mean she does it about 1 out of every 10 times I politely ask her.
    3) I know that correlation does not necessarily equal causation, but do you think that maybe the cashier at the drug store got into some of the drugs, thus prompting the odder-than-usual sendoff. I’m just saying, I never get that kind of response at the yarn store.

  128. We taught our kitten to attack, playfully, when we tucked our hands inside our sleeeves whilst rubbing her belly. A tiny kitten batting om nom nomming on your arm is adorable … a full grown cat not so much!

  129. In the words of George Carlin, “Have a crappy day!” It takes the pressure off of trying to make your day ‘good’. My chances are I’m gonna have a crappy day anyway.

  131. Darling Jenny. If you didn’t overthink things, the rest of us would have nothing to contemplate and ponder on.
    Then I would have to let my voices come up with thoughts and ideas.
    Like, why don’t you just get a banister with wider post intervals?

  133. I guess I’m of the school where if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything. I don’t say anything. Leave ’em wondering…. or fearful. Yeah, fearful is better.

  135. Yeah. And what if it’s your destiny to stub your toe or get hit by a bus? Then it would be a sucky kind of farewell. So maybe, “I hope you find your destiny, and it doesn’t suck,” would be better. Though I have higher hopes than just not sucking. It would be nice to wish folks better than that. But it is kind of low pressure that way. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

  136. When I get told to Have A Nice Day I have to restrain myself from snarling back, “you first!” Which is partly my own reaction and partly George Carlins. Mostly I just say,”you, too.” Which is okay until they say, “thanks for coming in” or some other phrase that doesn’t quite work with YOU, TOO! The other day someone told my son to have a good first day of school. He said, “you, too” and then got very mad at himself for his auto reply. Sigh.

  139. So Hunter S. Thomcat is trying out for Meerkat Manor? That is what my family calls this stance, food or no food. Love his stripy belly. I wonder, is it my destiny to love cat bellies?

  140. Except for that unsightly white spot under his neck that could be my cat, Al Catpone…aka Scarface.

  141. Rather than saying “have a nice day” I like to say “Make it a nice day”. But it IS kinda bossy too. But nice bossy, and it puts the nice day thing in your own control. Or does it?

  143. Oh my gawd! Hunter is doing The Squirrel! We taught our cats to “squirrel” to get treats. It was amusing for a while but then we quit doing it, except for Jack. Now when we’re eating or cooking he’ll stand up on his hind legs and look hopeful. Since he’s older than dirt (he’s an old wobbly kitty) we feel bad and tend to give him something. Oh, I just realized that he trained us!

  144. And here I thought you were teaching him to wolf whistle (cat whistle?). Of course he’d have to use YOUR fingers to do that, because, well, cat fingers?

  145. It’s totally a trick. At our house if the cat wants a treat she has to “gopher up” for it. Using paws to help guide the treat or hook onto my fingers is considered poor form.

  146. Hunter is utterly adorable and if those were his balls they’d be utterly adorable too! By the way I think your cats need an important friend/sibling – The President of course. Don’t let Victor talk you out of this. Sorry Victor

  147. Maybe your destiny for that day was to text Victor about destinies?

    Hunter is so cute! And he isn’t chubby, he’s just very fluffy.

  148. Hey, this is totally a thing. Two of my cats can sit up and beg. My dad taught our Siamese cat how to do it, so I kept the tradition alive with my set. (My cats are also really fat. Because America, I guess.)

  149. Maybe the pharmacist said “density” because it has something to do with the medicine he gave you? CHECK the bottle label immediately. We also have an orange tabby who is over-fluffy. I think all orange tabbies must be emotional eaters. It just makes them even more lovable and huggable. And I also love to see animals stand up like little people. If only there there were more standing little animals in our daily lives than actually grumpy humans stomping around the world would be a much fluffier place. xoxo

  152. Everyone is crazy, cats will totally do tricks for treats. I’ve taught five or six cats now to sit, beg, and shake both paws. A few would even lay down. Maybe I just have cats that REALLY like cat treats? The chubby one would probably turn himself inside out for food if he could….

Leave a Reply

MY BOOKS:


shop

Subscribe to the bloggess, y'all.

Enter your email address and receive notifications of new posts by email. It\'s like I\'m stalking you, but more efficient.

Archives

ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:

I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:

Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.

Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.

The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”.  Often irreverent, always honest.

Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.

Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

Beautiful Writers book: Writers! This coming-of-career memoir (w/ the BEST advice from celeb authors, real shit you haven’t heard) is life. A page-turning beach read doubling as how-to. #Magic

The Dating Days of Marta O: When I told my sister I was building a blog she said: “Do people still read blogs?” I do not know, but if YOU want to read it, here it is. Keep in mind, my stories about dating after 40 are for the brave.

Where Do I Belong? A memoir of Sarah Carrington: The unbelievable story of growing up in a religious cult in the mountains of Northern British Columbia. What happens to you in life doesn’t make you strong; rising above it does.

CONNECTED: A Personal Journal for Ketamine Therapy Created by writer & patient Katherine Davis for this powerful clinical treatment. If considering ketamine for major depression, check out this essential tool.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: SO GOOD.

Discover more from The Bloggess

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading