So Facebook just informed me that it’s “Stress Awareness Day” and that seems sort of unhelpful because if you need to be made aware of the existence of stress you’re probably in a coma. Except comas are probably stressful too because you’re trying to sleep and your great aunt Betty is hassling you to wake up and yelling “JUST LOOK WHAT YOU’RE DOING TO YOUR MOTHER” and catheters are uncomfortable and the medical bills keep going up and basically you can’t even be unconscious without dealing with a bunch of bullshit. And I just gave myself a panic attack thinking about an imaginary coma I’M NOT EVEN IN. SO, YEAH. I’M ALL FULL UP ON STRESS HERE, FACEBOOK. THANKS.
But then I went back to see what else was in the news and turns out that Facebook was behind on news again and Stress Awareness Day was yesterday. So basically Facebook just told me to be aware of a day that would stress me out but then waited until I’d already missed it to remind me that I’d even managed to fuck up being aware of stress on the proper day, and then that stressed me out because what else am I behind on? So now I’m hyper aware of stress because not knowing about stress awareness stressed me out and this is exactly why I don’t like Facebook.
PS. I just went to post this link on twitter and twitter was like “Hey, it’s National Sandwich Day!” This is why I love you, twitter. Grilled cheese for everyone.
It’s pretty rude of them to remind you of that. I mean, if you’ve gotten to the age where you can read and you’re not already aware of stress, why ruin the magic? And if you are aware of stress, who needs the f’ing reminder? We all know what it is!!! I mean, really. Use some common sense, Facebook.
This is why I have not been on Facebook since 2011!
Facebook loves to create stress. For example: Facebook is where my father posts his psychotically misguided political ramblings, anti-Hillary screeds, and other assorted sociopolitical remarks of poor and/or questionable taste.
Twitter wants us to have a sandwich.
Twitter: 1, Facebook 0
You know what? This actually explains why yesterday was such a shit-storm. And maybe my craving for a sandwich, but probably not. I mean, you mentioned grilled cheese, and honestly, that’s about all it takes. Wonder if we’ve got any brie?
Don’t worry, I have it on good authority that comas are 100% non-stressful. It’s like the best nap EVER, only when you wake up you can still sleep just like normal. So, still the best nap ever.
Thank you, from the bottom of my twisted little heart, for making me laugh today.
Yay for grilled cheese! That’s all I got…
In my house, every day is stress awareness day. However, that grilled cheese sounds wonderful.
National Sandwich Day is way better than Stress Awareness Day! Like you said, if you aren’t already aware of stress, lucky you.
Mmmmm…sandwiches! Stress can take a big ol’ leap off of MY yacht! I’m sick of it seeming to control my life. But I guess I’m letting it!
I just have no more f*cks to give!
Thanks for the insight! You’re AWESOME!
Eeeeek, the coma thing stresses me out! You know, they have discovered a certain percentage of people in comas ARE AWAKE but, like, paralyzed!! 🙁
HAHAHAHAHAH Stress awareness. I am HYPER aware.
Grilled cheese? Subway says to come in and buy one/get one free!
Mmm. Grilled cheese… 🙂
Love grilled cheese dipped in tomato soup! Now I’m stressed cause I have to go grocery shopping! It just never ends, thanks for starting this shit Facebook!
http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/9e/9e68cacd8372c02c5c7e64f68d55eff13025304316aabfaaeb021549062b63ea.jpg
Oh, good. There’s a stress awareness day. Now I’m waiting for Splinters in My Bum day, and then I’m all set. Or Being Bitten By a Venomous Snake Awareness Day. I have t-shirts made and everything.
mmmmm, Grilled Cheese. Yes please.
I think maybe that wasn’t the message of the post but I’m OK with that.
BTW it’s also National Men Make Dinner Day which is probably why it’s also National Sandwich Day…smooth move guys!
eat a sandwich, calm down, and reduce stress. my kind of day.
I celebrated National Stress Awareness Day by starting off with a job interview. I celebrated National Sandwich Day when a customer brought us sandwiches from Tropical Smoothie Cafe. I’m glad I’m doing it right.
My team started celebrating National Whatever Day as a way to inject a little fun and cross-team bonding into our work lives. We set ground rules (we’re a bunch of geeky software designers, and we like agreed-upon rules.) Please take these and adapt them for your own fun and hilarity.
National Whatever Day Team Rules
The goal is to facilitate and encourage participation. We invite our colleagues from other teams, and spread the love.
In our team meetings we can determine the upcoming month’s choice.
If the Day falls on a weekend then the celebration can be shifted to the closest Friday or Monday.
If it is food based, then please choose something travels well. Cookies yes. Oysters, no.
Home made or purchased, not expensive.
Not everyone needs to bring something for each designated day. Otherwise it can become burdensome. Determine on a case-by-case basis.
Veto power is granted to the designated adult.
You know what I’ve always wondered? Who decides the days for things to be “international/national day of’ ….
I mean, like is there a council of giant sandwiches sitting around feeling unnoticed, so they collectively decide that this is “their time” to be recognised ??
GRILLED CHEESE FOR ALL!
“Cheesy carbs” is a legit food group, right? ^_^
I like grilled cheese so much more than stress. Thank you.
Please let me continue to believe comas are just staycation intensives.
On my way to work the guy on the radio was talking about how he had to spend all of breakfast explaining to his son why sending him to school with a pre-made grilled cheese sandwich for lunch was a bad idea.
I’ve not had a stress-free morning by a long shot, but I still feel better every time I remember that at least I haven’t had to debate the physics of fried bread with a grade schooler today.
“Sandwhich, not stress” should be a bumper sticker.
I left my sandwich at work, so I’m stressed out that I can’t enjoy it on its one special day.
You are hilarious !
Thanks for making me laugh (as always). I hereby nominate national stress awareness day to become “National De-stress day” instead. Seems more useful. Although how to make life less stressful, yeah, I don’t know, been working on that for years. Maybe it could be a day off from life where all we do is read? And eat sandwiches? Ohhh… and dessert?
I was unaware of this thing called ‘stress’. At last my experience of the human emotion is complete. Now I can return to my people and teach them of ‘stress’. Huzzah.
I vote we make this Oral Sex and Candy Awareness Day instead.
Mmmmmmmmmm….I love grilled cheese! I like Fritos or Cheetos with it.
The other day was the Day of Positivity. I immediately felt like a faillure for not seeing any rays of light anywhere that day. Which made it even worse. Sometimes I wonder who comes up with these things. The intentions may be good, but sheesh…. Not helpful.
The lesson here: Twitter >>> Facebook.
Perhaps Facebook didn’t want people to stress about it being National Stress day, so it only notified people of it after the fact as a way of saying, “Hey! You made it! Good for you! Now you can go on the enjoy National Sandwich Day…”
https://superiorrealities.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/grilled-cheesus.jpg
My brain is the kind that invents anxieties should I ever dare enjoy anything like have an ice cream or buy more rooster art to irritate my husband. So I understand. It just isn’t a night without me remembering all the stupid shit I’ve done. So, I guess just buy more weird stuff to freak out your husband and let him feel the anxiety for a bit.
New things to be stressed about: 1) someday being in a coma, which I previously thought of as an enforced nap. I like naps. 2) I don’t have a sandwich.
Lovely. I think I’m going to go take a nap.
Facebook seems, so useful, doesn’t it? Twitter has a great use, at least. I didn’t know there was a stress awareness day either, so that’s fairly interesting. I thought every day was stress-awareness day.
The best is when Facebook is like, “REMINDER, 5 years ago you were doing much better than you are now.”
I love this post. Thank you!
I went home for lunch today and had grilled cheese and vegetable soup. My son was home and he thought the sandwiches were fancy. They were cut in verticals , soldier style, I think it’s called.
Right?! Who isn’t aware of stress? Probably those same people who “forget to eat.”
On the sandwich date note, in Canada subway is giving you buy one get one free sandwiches LOL
When asked what terminal lung cancer had taught him, the late great Warren Zevon said “How much you’re supposed to enjoy every sandwich.” I love that.
OK, does anyone else see a conspiracy here with these supposed holidays? Twitter and Facebook are in with the sandwich shops, making sure we’re all stress-eating for a day. Plus, according to some sources, Stress Awareness Day is April 16… exactly one day before National Cheeseball Day. Coincidence??? I think not. And apparently the whole month of April is Stress Awareness MONTH! In case one day is not enough to bring your full consciousness into the reality of stress.
I’m on vacation, sitting on a beautiful white sand beach that has wi-fi and waiters constantly circling to offer adult beverages. Facebook can take its belated Stress Awareness Day and shove it. Don’t care this week! Next week I’m all over it, when I go back to work.
I always wanted a coma I thought it would be a nice vacation but not any more now I’m scared and stressed over comas. However I now want a turkey sandwich. I don’t know if I should be mad at you or not. Fb use to stress me out but I created a new account with less then 10 people on it. The people that make me laugh so now it’s my happy place.
I once was in a coma for 6 weeks after a very serious car accident. Given my experience, comas can be quite stressful. You’re unconscious but you are aware that there are people in and out of your hospital room all day long (doctors, nurses, family members, friends.) you hear fragments of sentences and voices that you kind of recognize but you can’t place. You want to greet these people and assure them that you’re going to get through this just fine. But you can’t speak no matter how hard you try, its impossible to put your thoughts in to words. And then a couple of days go by (or a couple of weeks, there’s no calendar in coma land) and a couple of the people who visited you the first time come back for another visit, but you can’t exactly remember if they actually did come the first time, and its very very stressful because on top of all that buzzing around in your brain, you start to wonder ‘why am I in a hospital to begin with?’ and then on to of THAT is the fact that to all your visitors, it looks like you’re peacefully sleeping, you want to greet them and say thanks for the cards or thanks for the teddy bears but again, you can’t put your thoughts in to words and speak them outloud.
So Jenny, yes comas are stressful and I wouldn’t wish one on anybody
For the second time this calendar year, we are in the process of selling a house. And we’re coming out behind.
If there’s a Stress Survivors Club, I’d like to join, please.
Had a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich last night for dinner. Because I am single, live alone (well, with three cats) and can make what I want for dinner! 🙂
I much much prefer sandwich day than stress day Jenny. I hope you can have a day filled with tasty sandwiches.
Hahahahahahaha
I spotted it on Twitter and had the same thought– “Who needs to be made aware of stress?” Though, tbh, after most of the other stuff that managed to trend on Twitter yesterday, being reminded of stress almost came as a relief.
Today is sandwich day, but all of the bread here is the kind I can’t eat so sandwich day is now officially more stressful than Stress Awareness Day. Thank you, internet!
Facebook… where my family professes to be both loving Christians and also hypocritical, sociopathic, paranoid, politically active, inept individuals all at the same time. At least it’s got funny cat videos.
Oh my goodness! Your wish for grilled cheese sandwiches completely cracked me up. A number of years ago, this letter (http://loveletters.boston.com/2009/06/allergic_to_grilled_cheese.html) to Boston.com’s Love Letters used grilled cheese sandwiches as a euphemism for BJs. I’ve never thought about them quite the same way again. But BJs for everyone (who wants one) sounds pretty good too, yes?
Grilled cheese – my kind of heaven. But how to pick the RIGHT cheese to melt into gooey happiness?
I have two very cheesy pieces of pizza left over from dinner last night. Put ’em together, heat. Grilled cheese — check.
Unfortunately, like most of us EVERY day is stress awareness day.
Facebook is a monster. I hate Twitter, too, but at least it reminded you of GOOD stuff! Who doesn’t love a good sandwich?
I was reading along, nodding and thinking THIS IS MY LIFE, worrying about an imaginary coma and then stressing over missing stress awareness day. But then I got to the grilled cheese part, remembered I have delicious tomato bisque soup from the deli I could have with it, but I’m OUT OF BREAD.
Life is cruel.
So many hilarious posts today that I am stressed just thinking about having to hit the “like” button that many times…
Welcome back! And we all hope you’re feeling better. I’m having a Muffaletta tonight – I’d share with you, but don’t know how to do that online!
I once told my family doctor that I was having issues with stress, and he said, “I can recommend a couple of books you could read.” I said, “If I had time to read books, I wouldn’t be stressed.” He just looked kind of blank after that.
You know the struggle is real when an imaginary coma stresses you out. Thank you and goodbye, Facebook!
I do not like facebook or instagram, but I still go there. I know that people lie and that people put photos to feel superior. When I’m more down, that’s stressful. I’ll be back to visit social networks only when I’m better. It is proven to reduce stress and depression. By the way I think this video illustrates the lies that people put on social networks.
Grilled cheese day is a day I can get behind. FOREVER.
you are my hero and you inspire me i want to be just like yu when i grow up (except for the drugs and the mental illness)
>
Grilled cheese awareness day beats stress awareness day, hands down.
I was especially stressed yesterday, and I didn’t even know it was Stress Awareness Day! #winning
Facebook alerted me to National Cat Day the day after it happened. And I was all “But I like cats. I HAVE cats. Two of them. And they have approximately two brain cells between the two of them I swear. WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THIS YESTERDAY FACEBOOK?”
I HEREBY DECLARE TODAY AND TOMORROW AND ALL THE TOMORROWS ARE OFFICIALLY “THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH STRESS IS TO NOTICE HOW MUCH OF THE STUFF OUT THERE IS STUPID” DAY
Stuck in Cincinnati for work. Nom-licious “MELT bar and grilled” ad in my hotel room. “Gourmet grilled cheese -a must see when in Ohio “. Is there a better reason to come to Ohio? Can’t think of one.
Do they would deliver? No.
Did I also miss the “Running of the Wieners”? Yes.
http://girlinjams.blogspot.com/2016/11/when-in-cin-city-grilled-cheese-wieners.html?m=1
Grilled cheese would be wonderful if it didn’t make me SICK!!!! Dang it… I love grilled cheese. Oh and the radio this morning said it was National The Man has to cook dinner day.
Sooooo . . . Nov. 4, tomorrow, is National Waiting for the Barbarians Day (no joke: https://www.checkiday.com/11/04). But, it’s also National Skeptics Day (also no joke). So, I guess how you feel tomorrow about your chances with potential Barbarians depends on how skeptical you are:). Are you stressed now?
I was all excited about Stress Awareness Day because I went to the doctor this morning and he prescribed new stress meds for me. And NOW you tell me Facebook was wrong? I’m so stressed over this.
I love you. That’s all.
I get stressed worrying about the fact that I’m not as stressed as society thinks I should be. What we need is a way to quantify stress. Sort of a packet of crisps and a can of coke mild stress, right up to six bottles of vodka and a chocolate mudcake level of stress.
They should have Stress Awenes Day so we can be in awe of just ho powerful and motivating stress can be”
Enjoy every moment! Rpeat as needed: i will soon be dead. I personally have to repeat it endlessly as i continually get caught up in BS. Love u!
Is it okay to say stupid fuckers on here? Because if it is: stupid fuckers.
YAY! for grilled cheese. Screw you, stress!
I was in a medically induced coma for about two weeks, although there is a whole month I don’t remember. For me it kind of was like a big nap. All I can remember from it is a bunch of vivid dreams. (If they are still called dreams when you are in a coma). I was not aware of anything going on around me. The only stressful part was after when I couldn’t figure out what happened to that month.Had to have it all explained to me. The lengthy recovery afterwards was the stressful part.
Thought for the day: FACEBOOK SUCKS. The end.
💜❤️💕
Twitter eludes me. I don’t know how people can have profound thoughts every other minute. I tried to devote myself to Twitter. I kept thinking “Come on! Think of something!” but I couldn’t come up with a thing. Too much pressure – too much stress. I think I missed Twitterhood by a decade. Sorry you missed Stress Awareness Day but so happy you made it for National Sandwich Day. :o)
Well, the thought of a grilled cheese just stressed me out because I’m lactose intolerant now (yay getting older). God I miss grilled cheese sandwiches. And lactase doesn’t always work when you have stomach problems from stress as well as, lactose intolerance. Eating is highly overrated for me.
I’m also skeptical that Barbarians even exist.
Bem, aqui no Brasil termina a campanha do outubro rosa dedicada ao combate ao câncer de mama e começa o novembro azul que é para o combate do câncer de próstata, então as pessoas tiram fotos e vestem camisas azuis e as professoras inventam que nossos filhos tem que fazer cartazes com poemas dedicados ao assunto. Logo eu que costumo ter uma criatividade acelerada compus o seguinte refrão:
Sai outubro rosa,
Entra novembro azul,
Sai a mão do meu seio,
Entra o dedo no seu #*&#$&
Claro que levei bronca né, ninguém entende minhas sátiras…
(Provavelmente o poema vai perder um pouco do sentido, mas é que em português as palavras rimam)
Grande abraço, e tudo fica melhor com queijo grelhado!!!
She’s a psychotic genius lol
Sent from my Sprint Samsung Galaxy Note5.
It was Stress Awareness Day? Good thing I was experiencing stress then. It seems appropriate.
Also I’m pretty sure if you’re not aware of stress, you don’t want to know.
Doctors need to start writing RXs for grilled cheese sandwiches and stop throwing Elavil and Wellbutrin at us. Even the act of making a green cheese sandwich is relaxing and induces a state of Zen.
God, I love you. Thanks for the belly laugh. It’s been a fucker of a week.
Very funny!!! You are stressed about missing the day for stress……. so funny. I love how your mind works and how you write about it. Beautiful! Thank you!!!!
get excited Jenny – you can double down on grilled cheese bc not only is there a sandwich day, April 12 is grilled cheese day. And April is GRILLED CHEESE MONTH!
I actually think FB was being very kind. Sort of saying we’ll let you know about stress awareness day AFTER it’s over so you won’t be aware OR stressed. But then they let you know it was time to have multiple grilled cheese sandwiches to celebrate your lack of awareness of stress!
I feel that stress awareness day is a thing that can only be met with sarcasm.
I miss everything. Stress Awareness Day, NOTIFICATIONS for Stress Awareness Day, National Sandwich Day, NOTIFICATIONS for National Sandwich Day, This Blog Post, NOTIFICATIONS for This Blog Post… I think I must not be onlining right or something.
I’ll try to be better, Jenny, but now I’m stressed out over it, AND over being a week late (or more? I can’t even math anymore, I’m so stressed)!
Yeah… It definitely sounds like you need a grilled cheese!
Cheese fixes everything! xo
It’s like cancer awareness. Seriously people, show me anyone over the age of five that doesn’t know what cancer is, and I will eat the internet. Whole. Fuck that shit.