So where do we go from here?

in Posts that will get me hate mail, rants, so stop judging me., turning into a cat lady, wow that's good to know

This post peppered with medicinal kittens because smarter people are writing better things so I’m doing this instead.

This was a lot of us the night of the election:

raw-4

If you’re like me you’ve been spending the last days feeling helpless and uncertain what to do.

200w_d

Some things are easy, like donating to causes that you feel are important and might get left behind.  Some are harder, like reaching out to people who are hurting even if you don’t know how to help and are afraid you’ll fuck it all up and make it worse.

A lot of us keep getting stuck in that place where we hate humanity and are ready to become hermits.

raw

Things feel upside down and scary.  Your emotions are valid.  It’s okay to be angry or scared or freaked out for yourself or for people you love.

raw-1

Practice self-care.  Take a walk.  Do some art.  Sit in the grass and drink a booze-slushie.  Read a book.  Watch Doctor Who.  Avoid the internet when it gets to be too much.

200w_d-1

There’s some crazy-ass bullshit out there and the craziest bullshit has the loudest voice.  Do not engage the crazy people.  Someone calling you the c word is not someone to be reasoned with.  Pick your battles.  There will be plenty.

raw-2

It’s going to hurt for awhile.  So much so that you might not have the strength to help yourself.  Ask for help.  You aren’t alone.  Sometimes you need help to pull yourself off the train tracks, and sometimes you’ll be the person pulling someone else off.  This is how we survive.

200w_d-2

Look for goodness.  There are so many people posting loving and caring responses or who are there to give hugs and protection.  There are so many more than you think.  Look for those glimmers of light.

raw-3

We may disagree on many things but I feel confident that anyone who is a member of this community wants safety, equality, justice and happiness for every minority group that is afraid today.  This is a safe place and that is a needed thing.  Thank you for providing that.

tenor-1

There are serious problems in the world today and writing a post filled with kitten gifs is fucking ridiculous.  But ridiculous is what I do best.  And kittens are the closest thing we have to medicinal marijuana in Texas so I’m working with what I have.

raw-8

Once you feel better though it will be time to turn your hand to making things better in a world that seems more divided than it ever has been.   Maybe it’s just smiling at everyone you meet.  Maybe it’s paying for the person behind you in the Starbucks drive-thru.  Maybe it’s donating to charities and organizations that help others who are struggling.  Maybe it’s just not screaming at people even though you really want to.  Maybe it’s letting people scream at you because you know they need space to vent.  Maybe it’s adopting a rescue animal and hiding away until you feel strong again, or volunteering at a hospital or homeless shelter.  Maybe it’s talking to your kids to ask if they’ve heard anyone being particularly cruel at school lately and making sure they know how to deal with it and how to report it.  Maybe it’s just ignoring this post and not writing something hateful about it even though you really, really want to.  Maybe it’s forgiving others or yourself.  Maybe it’s just continuing to breathe and not hurt yourself or others.  Those are all big things.

raw-10

Whatever it is, I’m grateful.  It starts small.  It starts with us.  Me and you.

tenor-2

PS. Back to non-political stuff next week.  Promise.  Also, my last post was political and had over 400 comments and so far they are overwhelmingly compassionate and empathetic and encouraging.  That’s a small miracle, you guys, but it’s one we keep pulling off.  Thank you for being amazing and being a safe place for so many of us.

raw-11

PPS.  Happy Veterans Day.  Thank you to all those who serve to protect us.  I hope we can protect you right back.

292 thoughts on “So where do we go from here?”

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Still reeling and trying to find my equilibrium. Cat GIFs are a good start. Thanks for that. 🙂
    Let’s all come together and make this shit right as soon as possible, shall we?

  7. Thanks for this. And for the kitty pics. Still feeling like the end of the world has happened, but hopefully will get better one day. Had to work today but am shutting the office down early and going to my three (yes three) kitties. I need kitty purrs and kisses.

  8. Thank you for all you’ve done. As evidenced by the response to your last post, you have had a calming influence on a helluva lot of people. And today, kittens. Perfect. Love you, Jenny.

  10. Thank you for this, it’s just what I needed as I currently don’ have a pet and can’t get another, got a grandpup though, maybe I’ll see if I can snuggle with him. 🙂 I’m really saddened by all the hate crime done in Trumps name, it hurts my hear. I’ve been venting on Twitter about and hoping even one of his supporters will step up and say it’s not okay but alas nothing yet. I think I need another social media break. Peace and love to you! xoxo

  12. On Wednesday I was a complete non-functional mess but I’m pulling through. Thank you for always being out there for me. Do you think maybe you can move to California? You really don’t seem to be like most Texans and we DO have medicinal marijuana.

    Love you, Jenny!

  13. A good place to go to feel inspired is the PSN. Are you a member yet?
    PS_hanks for the kittens

  14. Thank you for the words & kittens. I’m using my kittens to feel better just now also. Thankfully California now has marijuana legally now so at least we got that right.

  15. I feel like crying pretty much all the time. Trying to avoid toxic and sensational “the sky is falling” news. I want to keep up and know what’s going on, but I don’t want to freak the fuck out.
    Thank you for being you. Oh, and check your email.

  18. I enjoyed every kitten here, amd always enjoy your posts. Wearing my safety pin and hoping I can be a safe harbor if it’s needed.

  19. I’ve always hoped that I’d be the one running towards the people who need help. Now is my chance. I’m wearing a safety pin every day to show that I’m an ally of anyone who feels that they’re going to be squashed by the awfulness outside. If I see something, you can damn well bet that I’m going to say something. If someone needs help, I’m ready to provide it, be it a shoulder to cry on or a body to block a bully’s access.

  20. Jenny, I’ve cried all week over this election. Now you have me crying at kittens. LOL THANK YOU!!

  21. I’ve needed to “hide” a lot of my Facebook Feed. Since I have business reasons for needing to be on Facebook, I just try to skim past anything that has even the HINT of being political. Thanks for the medicinal kitties. Much needed.

    I think the hardest thing for me has been finding out that friends strongly support things that I do not and having to decide what that means in the long run.

  24. Definitely experiencing the five stages of grief. Stuck on anger today. Watching kittens has helped thank you!

  25. Thank you, Jenny. Cat gifs are exactly what we need right now. There are lots of us to spread love. We will not let the haters win. ❤️

  26. You are a ray of sunshine as always, Jenny. We will continue to do all we can in our way to make this world better.

  27. Kittens make everything better. Can you please give us lots of kittens over the next 4 years! I for one am gonna need em.

  29. I received a call from my daughter last night. She had been in tears most of the post-election day. She felt guilty for merely feeling helpless and sad. Some of her followers responded to her sadness by telling her to do something about it. That made her feel even more guilty and sad. We are in Canada, so what happens south of our border affects us. However, we don’t have a lot of power to change things from here. We’re hoping our American friends will get through this without too many lasting scars. Hugs to you ALL.

  30. Regarding your point about wanting to reach out but being afraid of further fucking things up: when I was starting my counseling internship, my professor told us that our clients were already coming to us fucked up, and even if we said the wrong thing, there was probably nothing we could say that would be bad enough to break them. When in doubt, listening, empathy, and even just being there and allowing others to feel what they feel without trying to fix it will always have healing power.

  34. “Pick your battles. There will be plenty.”
    Man, this is so true. I think I’ve finally finished up unfriending all the people whose “difference of opinion” is “I don’t think gays/other ethnicieites/women are people,” though.

  36. In the moments when it is darkest, that is when you see the stars the brightest. Find the stars in your life. You are a star in mine. I’ve never commented here before but I feel compelled to today. I just want to say thank you for everything.

  37. I have offered my services as officiant free of charge to anyone in my local LGBTQ community who was planning marriage and now wants to move up their timetable a bit. I am going to an SF convention this weekend wearing a large button that reads “You can believe in dragons, but not in diversity?”

    A friend of mine intervened in an incident of harassment against a woman wearing a hijab on the city bus the other day.

    There are good people out there and we are trying. Don’t be embarrassed if you can’t do anything right now. You may feel able to step up when we grow weary.

  39. Write letters, lots of letters when something actually happens that you don’t like. And pray, “God help us.”

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  40. In the moments when it is darkest, that is when you see the stars the brightest. Find the stars in your life. You are a star in mine. I’ve never commented here before but I feel compelled to today. I just want to say thank you for everything.

  42. This is what I, we, needed. And this is why we all appreciate you more than you know. So, thank you, Jenny. 🙂

  43. I’m not even a cat person, but the gifs and your words hit the spot today. Thank you!

  44. Our light got dimmed, but is not out. Feed each other, feed the light, so that it can reach every corner. Feed the light so that it shines the way for those in the dark. Feed the light until it shines bright enough so that we can all see our way forward. Jenny, thank you for always being you and a light bearer even in your darkest moments. Peace.

  45. That’s a beautiful posting Jenny (and I’m allergic to cats), it is really needed right now. Too many Americans are waking up scared and lonely in their own country and they need our help.

    I’m wishing the best to my American friends right – I might never have met you, but if you’re worried about the future after Tuesday, you’re my friend and possible drinking buddy, after all, we’re all in this together now so the hugs have to go right round one big ass planet.

  46. Does it strike anyone else as really strange that Melania Trump wants to take on bullying as her personal crusade as first lady? Is she blind too or something? Too much mascara or something? Has she just developed overwhelming deafness or something?

  47. Love this. I definitely need kittens today. I posted on FB last night I’m moving on and living life. I don’t like the outcome, but now that it’s done, we all need to hope that Trump does a good job since we all have to live here.

    I also told my daughter (She’s 11 like Hayley) that the U.S. has been around for hundreds of years, he only gets 4. We’ll be ok.

  48. It’s been so hard but it’s so true that every little gesture of kindness we can make, as well as donating to causes we support, helps. Music helps; today struck me as a good day to play favorite songs loudly and dance around the room. If you’re a musical theatre geek like me, the NY Times website has a wonderful piece about up and coming composers Pasek and Paul, complete with videos of some terrific songs. http://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/13/theater/a-pasek-and-paul-primer.html

  49. Nothing like kittens to make you smile. And unfortunately I don’t think Texas will be legalizing mj any time soon so bring on the kitten hordes!

  52. I am a professional catastrophizer (no idea if that’s a real word) but for some reason and maybe it’s because I took Nyquil (the Irish cream failed me) to get sleep that night. So I woke up with more sleep than probably 99% of the people who are devastated. I’m not bragging- just stating- in spite of everything- being I am a master cynic, conspiracy theory junkie, can always find the worst in any situation kind of person. – I STILL HAVE HOPE!!!! No- not that the electoral college will vote their conscience. Or he will be impeached. But the fact that NOTHING is ever as bad as it seems. NOTHING…What I have drawn strength from is finding out that a positive word and attitude can give another person juuuuuust enough hope and encouragement- and so on and so forth. We didn’t get the comfortable touchy feely option. We got dealt a real bloody booger- the kind that is scratchy when it dries. 😉 So we dust ourselves off, we stand up strong TOGETHER. DO NO HARM – BUT TAKE NO SHIT!!!

  54. I know a lot of people here aren’t religious, but there is a great song by Jars of Clay called “Small Rebellions” that has been stuck in my head for two days. You can find it on Spotify if you want, but the chorus says “Give us days to be filled with small rebellions/senseless, brutal acts of kindness from us all”. I’ve decided to take this up as my mantra and practice small rebellions daily. Today I sent my daughter to daycare in her Old Navy “Love Wins” shirt. It wasn’t much, but it felt great.

  55. Is it okay to feel ambivalent?

    I just… I can’t make myself go there. Anywhere. It’s not shock or even numbness; maybe resignation.

    Yes, I voted. And that’s really all I feel comfortable saying about the whole thing.

  57. Have you heard of the safety pin project? There’s a group on Facebook. Let me know if you need me to add you.

  58. I really needed all these kittens today. I am a gay woman who serves in the military and I’m scared shitless about what may happen; not to mention all the other people in my life and those random people on the street that I care about and worry for. I hope for a more unified future, but am still very much afraid; and I promise to fight for our rights as humans. (I was going to say to party, but just didn’t seem appropriate since I was trying to keep this semi-serious.) Thank you for continuing to provide a little light in my world and my you find some through these interactions – and ridiculousness is absolutely perfect. Keep it going; we will grow stronger together!

  60. For me, one thing was just sharing a laugh with a stranger at Old Navy as I gestured for my poor husband turn around for the hundredth time while trying on pants. I’m not sure if she was laughing with or at me and I don’t care. It was so light and genuine and I am letting the brief laughter wash over and fill me. I am holding on to these moments and only loosening my grip to share with others. Thanks for your words and the kitties – they too help so much.

  62. Thank you. I don’t mind your political posts — like so much of what you post here, they remind me that I’m not alone and not crazy for feeling this way.

    For now, I’m stuck in fury, sadness, frustration, and fear.

    Trying not to lash out at folks I know who voted for what I feel is an administration that will be hell bent on taking us over the brink (but still posting a lot of links to pointedly angry articles and examples of the violence their candidate has already inspired).

    And trying to move from the emotional overload to a place where I can focus on how to move forward. I’m not there yet. But I’m trying.

  64. I love you, Jenny and I appreciate the cats but I am in absolute despair. I don’t see that changing.

  65. I am so proud to live in a country that was built on the foundations of diversity. Whoever you are, wherever you’re from, thank you for being here. Thank you for being you. Thank you for sharing your life, your story, and your love with me. Together we are great. We’ve made it so far already, but we always still had a ways to go. You and I are worth the push. Together we can truly make this country great.

    Thank you.

  66. America, you deserved better. I was sent so many messages from distraught friends and colleagues wondering how easy it was to move up here to Canada. It’s actually not that easy.

    May you all find clarity in the chaos.

    @WriterDann

  67. Medicinal kittens applied expertly. Thank you. I am less prone to crying today, the third day after, but I am still figuring out how to go forward, to fight for the rights of all Trump-maligned groups. This is a terrifying time. I may need to up the kitten dosage.

  69. In addition to the above, please write letters to every person who represents you and beyond. Letter writing helps the political establishment get the pulse. Even write to those you think will not listen. I have seen this work in the past.
    I have a hard time understanding those who refused to vote for either candidate, and for those who voted for Trump when they did not like or agree with many of his policies.
    So yes, I confess I am still struggling. i have donated a lot of rebuilding money to capable organizations.
    I am also still personally annoyed at those who voted for candidates they knew had no chance of winning. I understand that it is their right to do so, but did they really look at and consider the bigger picture in this particular election. I think many of them just thought Trump would lose, and they could make a statement. Well guess what, no statement was made and they must live with knowing they helped vote in Trump. Maybe they could have worked with Hillary, if they tried after the election.
    And by the way-why do we call Trump-Trump and Hillary-Hillary instead of Clinton– Maybe this is just another indicator of where we sadly still are equality wise in this country-
    I will say I have never been screamed at as much in a political campaign or its aftermath. I have not yelled at anyone, and will continue to take the high road when they go low. I am reevaluating several friendships and relationships in my life as a result. I never realized how prejudiced so many people I knew are. It truly saddens me.And to be honest I do not want to be around them. But not all who voted for Trump are that way. Some just voted for him because their parents taught them to only vote Republican, and others due to the financial platforms he proposed etc. I am not talking about those people even though my opinions differ.
    Praying hard for our future.

  70. I’m in Europe ..in Germany to be precise.We got a lot of crazy people here,too ..old Nazis..new Nazis and anything in between. After the election of this Nutjobtrumpet some of them gather and celebrate it.. horrifying stuff.

    But, I think we can stop this crazy people. in being kind, and if we have to fight, fight hard. There are hard times ahead.. and the most horrible stuff is still to come.. I’m sure about that.

    So, you people out there. Gather. help each other in every way you can do.. even with a smile or a hug.. ( smiles and hugs are soo important).. write to your Congressman..that he/she never forgets that they are watched.

    And inform yourself about email encryption with PGP .. it sounds weird.. I know.. just inform you..and your friends. Only use facebook for useless rubbish gibberish .. and never again, for serious or personal stuff.. never.again.

  71. Thank you for the e-hug. It is really needed The gifs made me smile (which has been harder these days). I keep trying to stay close to my kitties and away from the insanity all around. NJ has medical marijuana, but it’s not out for pain issues, depression or anxiety. It’s hard to get. Kitties are easier. Thank you. Keeping our future close to my heart and sitting next to two sleeping kitties to stay sane. Thank you for everything you do!

  72. We’re trying to start a positive movement to identify ourselves as people who don’t support hatred, bigotry, and discrimination. We’re putting a safety pin on our shirts to say we are safe people. If you’re in public and don’t feel safe because someone is intimidating, or attacking, or threatening you a person with a safety pin will be there to help. This group has always shown so much love, acceptance, and generosity I thought it might help to post this here. It makes me feel like I’m doing something, even if it seems small, to spread love instead of hate.

  74. Even though we disagree politically, I so appreciate the positive work-together message you’re spreading post-election.

    It’s so sad to see the riots and everything developing. Sadly, I know that there would likely be just as many outcries from different voices if the election had gone the other way. We’ve become a very loud world, I think, because of social media.

    I’m committed to keeping my political opinions off of FB, and just try to be courteous in my physical sphere of influence.

    Thank you for your writing.

  75. The kitten gifs ROCK! … pretty sure that last one isn’t kittens, though. Mama Kitty fucked a possum, maybe? Whatever. Those are HER babies, and she’s gonna take care of ’em!

    One of my furbabies has been scratching the heck outta his neck; we dunno if he’s got allergies to something or if it started with a fight with his sister, but it got so bad we’ve got bloodsplatters inside our kitchen cabinets, where he’s been hiding. He doesn’t like the medicine, but he’s gonna hate the cone of shame worse. Still, if I just stay off the internets and take care of my Smokey Boy, I’ll at least not be contributing to all the negativity.

    Thanks for all these kitten gifs, laced throughout a serious-for-you post. I look forward to your return to ridiculous. 🙂

  76. Medicinal kittens are the best. I smiled all the way through. Thanks for that. 🙂

  78. Thanks, for that post. This loss was really hard to take. I’m scared and worried and have turned inward for a bit to keep my equilibrium. When I’m ready to pick my head up again I will see what I can do at the local level. I will also start knitting uteruses to send to my anti-choice congressmen with the note “You’re so concerned about my uterus, I thought you might enjoy having one of your own to be worried about.”

  80. I will take a million cat gifs over pretty much anything else on the interwebs these days. Thank you for this.

  81. I work at a medical clinic & I want to start prescribing medicinal kittens now. Thanks Jenny!!

  82. Personally, fucking ridiculous posts filled with kittens is just about all I can handle right now and I” so thankful you offer a safe place for all of us that are hurting. Love you, Ms. Lawson. ❤️❤️

  85. I have a pinterest board that is nothing but emergency cuteness. Like so many people, I am afraid. Not necessarily for myself, but so many people I’ve known and loved. I’m terrified for my friends of color, my friends that don’t practice christianity (which I don’t either), my friends with non traditional relationshionships, most especially my transgendered friends. I am in such turmoil, feel so helpless and overwhelmed, that I’ve done almost nothing but cry for 4 days. I have a dr appt next week because I feel like I need my depression meds checked. Nothing seems real anymore, how is this reality? I can’t see a future, for society or for myself and that is scary.
    For the love of everything you might believe in, be kind to people. All people. Even the hate and fear mongers that might not necessarily deserve it right now. Do something small if the big things seem overwhelming. I carry a pad of post-its in my purse and leave little notes on bathroom mirrors in public places.
    Be a safe place, always.

  87. WONDERFUL!!!! Also, I particularly related to the part about becoming a hermit. That thought keeps crossing my mind.

  88. I currently have seven foster kittens. I think you just convinced me I need more. 🙂

  89. Thanks for the encouragement and understanding. So many people I know think it’s stupid to be upset. It’s nice to hear it’s okay to feel like this instead of being the one who has to say. I needed someone to say it to me.

  90. Thank you! This is the best post I have seen since Wednesday. It made me laugh, but more importantly it made me think and have hope.

    Art, walk, book, booze, Doctor Who…. I have done all of those except a Book… I have been struggling to get back to reading. Now is a good time to redouble my efforts.

  91. Thank you so much for this and for your blog in general. I’ve been distraught since the election and today, my first back in the office because I had jury duty on Wed/Thurs, I was told by the rich, old, white dude owner that I “have no reason to feel panicked or depressed.” Thank you for validating everyone’s feelings, no matter what they are. It’s important work.

  93. My heart really goes out to you all. But now we’re worried up here because one of the candidates for the Conservative leadership is trying to emulate Trump, thinking that will give her traction with voters. God, I hope not.

  95. THANK YOU. I am still reeling in disbelief and want to demand “WTF were you thinking?” to members of my own family for how they voted (esp. since our family includes POC and LGBTQ). I will take your excellent advice to not engage them, and instead just continue to work to change the world and protect those who are in peril.

  97. Thank you for that. It’s going to be a (long) while before I feel sane and safe again, but what else can we do but keep on keepin’ on? The sweet kitten gifs were just the thing, btw 🙂

  98. I love this post so much. It’s one of the few things that have made me smile in a week where I have been crying nearly non-stop. Thank you.

  99. If you are concerned in the future and need a safe place to meet, talk, or escape – please remember your local library. people are wearing safety pins to show they are a safe person to approach or simply sit next to. i recommend leaving messages and phone numbers inside your favorite books for people to find if they should ever seek help. my info is currently listed in a copy of “lets pretend this never happened” at my local branch. if i should ever get your text believe that i will come help you.

  100. Over half of the country should not feel heartsick, scared, or frightened for their well-being over an election. There is a change.org petition currently to ask the Electoral College to elect HRC since she did win the popular vote (this is the 4th time that has happened). It may not make it anywhere but it made me feel a little less powerless adding my name to it.

  101. Cat Therapy is definitely a good start. I want to say this though, as a (extremely white) Canadian, and a Christian. Too all who read the words of our great lady The Bloggess. Regardless of gender, sexuality, ethnicity, or religion. I will stand with you. If it comes a time when things like Martin Luther King Jr. marched for civil rights, I will march with you. I hope in the times ahead that human decency will show itself more and more, but if that is not the case, then know, I will not leave you alone.

  102. We love you, Jenny! Thank you for bringing some furballs into the picture. Much needed. I envy my oblivious cats who only care about their next treat, meal, toy. I keep hugging them but they’re starting to get suspicious of a crying woman chasing them around the house for more hugs. It’s hard not to hate the haters. Dismayed, disgusted and ashamed are understatements for how I (and many of us) feel. Thank God we’re not alone. Hugs from Alabama (WE”RE NOT ALL RED HERE!).

  103. Thank you. I think we all needed that. Now to find that guy from the Hugs Project….

  104. Please don’t hate on me here… But there are a whole lot of us who are on the other side of the aisle (not pro-Trump necessarily but all Republicans) who are ashamed to speak up because the pro-Hillary people are attacking us for not liking her. So thanks for speaking up, and I hope people understand that there is a lot of anger directed our way as well. I like to think the answer lies in acts of kindness (and kitties, of course) and not in just being angry back at those of us who are from a different political sphere. Of all the people in this country, the two we had to choose between were not our best citizens.

    Looking forward to something being on the news other than politics.

  105. I am sick at heart but also know that if the election had gone the other way, lots of other people would be sick at heart. This is a very scary time. I am petting my dog and eating muffins.

  109. That last one had ferrets!! I love ferrets. ❤❤

    I have been off the Facebook insanity feed for weeks now. Best. Decision. EVER! Well, that and extra vitamin D. And caffiene. Gotta have caffiene. And now ferrets.

    Any you. Thank, you. ☺

  113. Thank you for being, as always, a ray of light in the darkness. I’m keeping myself sane (well, as sane as I ever am) by believing that the vast majority of people generally choose to do good things and that will, over time, outweigh the few who choose a different path.

  114. Thank you, thank you, thank you Jenny. I am not the person that post and comment. I usually am the quiet one in the back of the room. But you have helped me so often, that especially this week I needed to say thank you. Thank you for giving my husband and I the language of spoons to better understand each other. Thank you for helping us be ok with our feelings. (And thank you for the ridiculous… There have been a constant stream of cute animal videos between me and my sister over the last couple days. It really does seem to be best way to cope right now).

    I am still reeling and don’t don’t know what to think… but I also feel a fire beginning to ignite. Like you said, soon it is going to be time to try my hand at making the world a better place. I know that it will require more from me than it feels like I can handle sometimes. So thanks in advance. I know you will be here inspiring me and helping me to keep going.

  115. Medicinal kittens!!!! I can tell my husband I need another kitten when I am sick or sad. That will go over well.

  116. I have been doing my absolute best to overdose on cute animals the past few days.

    I just want to add a link here for people: http://metro.co.uk/2016/07/07/how-you-should-react-when-you-see-racist-abuse-5992530/

    The article talks practically about what to do if you are a witness to racial abuse (I also think this tactic would work for sexual harassment too). I personally have been looking for ways not only to convert my anger into positive change (applying to be a Big Sister, volunteering to help foster kids, donating to PP and the ACLU, talking to my local DNC office about 2018 volunteering, and etc), but also ways to just deal with this utter nonsense while not acquiescing. Despite the fact I am an extreme introvert with social anxiety, I know I can use my fury at injustice to go talk to a stranger and shield them from hate if need be. And disclaimer–I know not everyone can do this, and that’s ok! Do what you can safely do. But I thought it was an important thing to share.

  117. I was just driving home thinking about how scared and helpless I feel and how it would feel so good to curl up in a ball and give up. Medicinal kittens help, and you always give me hope, Jenny. Thank you <3

  119. I donated to a charity that tries to stop global warming today. Sent thank you notes to Obama and Clinton yesterday. Asked someone how to get better at my hobby on twitter, and thanked her profusely for her nice response. Plan to help fund a cat café once the paycheck comes in. I’ll join the Dutch diabetes fund on Monday (I’m a new diabetic and they make progress it seems). Already adopted a mountain lion at Stichting Leeuw at the beginning if the year, but will put up a collection box at the local supermarket for StichtingLeeuw.nl in januari for a month.(check them out, they do good work with big kitties) Donate monthly to the Dutch cancer fund and yet… It doesn’t feel like enough to turn the tide. The helplessness persists. Maybe if people didn’t scare me so much I don’t usually leave the house I might be able to do more… But I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry.

  121. “A lot of us keep getting stuck in that place where we hate humanity and are ready to become hermits.” is EXACTLY how I’m feeling right now. Thank you as always for your posts.

  123. I needed this. I am so scared of what will happen in the future! My husband’s job is being outsourced, I am hoping to get a full time job (currently part time). My daughter is on SSI (Social Security as a disabled person, not the same as regular Social Security) and I worry her only monetary source will be cut, simply because she is disabled and cannot work. I worry if that happens, she will HAVE to move back in with us and that is definitely not good for my mental health! I worry about my friends, from many nations, what will happen to them? I worry that war will be declared just because it will improve the economy and make more money for those who hate.

    Thanks for the wonderful post, Jenny. Your posts are helping me deal with this farce of an election.

    I need to go color, and listen to happy music.

  124. Thanks for the cats, Jenny! Nothing improves a mood better than cute little kittens. We will get through this because we are survivors. 🙂

  125. Love you. Love your compassion. I’m on a tear today, pissing off everyone and everything, then closing my office to cry when the despair gets to be too much. Thanks for this.

  126. I am singing in a concert tonight. I am singing about grief, despair, loss, and hope. And I will be singing about war. The rehearsal last night helped me feel better and I hope the performance tonight will help the audience, too. The fact that I’m performing someone who not only voted for this but fundamentally doesn’t understand why so many people are losing it over this is hard, but I’m hoping will only help inspire me more.

  128. Thank you for this post. I’m sharing it with my girls (16 and 21) who are both still in shock and afraid of what is to come. They love cats so this is just what they need.

  130. i know this will not be liked or believed by most, but I am a female Republican who voted for Trump, and I have felt brutalized for 3 days now over it. I’ve been called so many names by Democratic “friends” that it makes me feel sick. I don’t believe Trump’s the Best Man Ever. I don’t believe a lot of what he says. But I did believe Hillary was directly responsible for the loss of American lives and I could not support her. I also thank you for kitten gifs, because being on the winning side feels an awful lot like losing right now. Republicans need love, too.

  131. Pingback: Coping Strategies of the White and Privileged | Vivienne's Process of Elimination

  132. I’m still waiting for the candid camera crew to jump out out for the onion to just admit it was all a giant elaborate hoax

  133. Great job keeping us happy with kittens…it does start with us and we need to keep going forward. We women will be heard. We will not be put down again to the levels where our Mothers and Grandmothers were. We are strong! Hear us roar! and if you can’t roar…at least meow…

  134. Truth is I am broken, shattered. Each day I have felt worse. People I know have been accosted on the street with threats and racial slurs. I have donated to causes I believe in and I begin volunteer work on Monday but I feel my entire outlook has changed. I was out today and I look at the world differently. Has that man taught his child the Hitler salute? Has that college student told her roommate to get ready to be deported? An Asian woman on the train was speaking on her cell loudly in Chinese. As I saw the other passengers glare at her all I could think is “will she be okay when she gets off the train?”

    Any advice on how to restore my faith in humanity?

  135. When the news is bad, I switch to Animal Planet or toddler cartoons. Both are more civilized.

  139. Kittens are awesome. I flooded my FB page and Twitter feed with cute pups. Even got a “like” from @dog_rates, so life goals have been met. To quote a dear old sage from Bill and Ted, “Be excellent to each other.” That’s the only advice we’ll ever need.

  140. I needed those kittens.
    I have never posted, but am a long-time reader. Election night, my beautiful blond(Aryan looking) daughter was called “a dirty kike who will be gotten rid of soon..
    in an iconic Los Angeles bar, The Rainbow bar and Grill. The dude was drunk, and thrown out, but it sent shivers down my spine. If this happened in one of the most liberal, diverse cities in the world, what’s going on elsewhere?

  141. I know that my neighbor, who is unfailingly kind & empathetic to me, voted for Trump. I think that she loves individual people and hates people in general. She called yesterday to see if a procedure I had a week ago had helped with my pain. I mentioned that I’d been laying low during the last weeks of the election because Trump triggers my PTSD and she sort of snorted. I told her that it’s a real thing that people are experiencing around the world, and she quickly ended the call. I know that she was sexually abused and has depression. Made me sad to think that our powerful similarities aren’t enough to bridge the fundamental differences in the way we view the world.

  142. Hess kitties were a great help!!!!!!!! Heartbroken woman, but then aren’t we all?? We shall help the weak and find courage enough to go high!🕯🔮📜🙏🏻

  145. Since I first came to the USA, four years ago, I’ve never suffered an act of hate or racism. Until last Tuesday, I felt welcome. But now that has changed. I’m an immigrant. I’m scared. I don’t feel safe in my own skin. Am I too brown? Is my accent too strong? Will someone yell at me if I speak Spanish in public? And if I feel this way, despite living in one of the most diverse and open-minded areas in this country, I cannot imagine what other people living in more “hostile environments” are feeling right now. The next four years look terrifying.

    Thanks for providing us a safe place to vent and be together, Jenny. And for the cats. No bobcat, though?

  147. These be tough times for people who care. But somehow we’ll get through it together. Thanks from this veteran of Vietnam

  149. Great Post! Still reeling a bit from all of this. I like what Garrison Keiller said in his article. He said we liberals are free to spend the next four years growing heirloom tomatoes, reading Jane Austen novels and let the Republicans deal with the rest. (I’m paraphrasing but that was the gist) I’ll be spending time doing things that make me happy and are important to me.

  150. Thank you for this! I’m usually such a happy person, but I am crashing now and it’s not familiar territory . . . my food tastes like clay and I can’t stop crying. Using every tool in my toolbox, including reading this post, drinking beer, and hugging my loved ones. xxxooo

  151. Thank you for maintaining and supporting your tribe/church. This is a safe place to be, with therapeutic kittens for extra joy! <3

  152. I deactivated my Facebook today because I haven’t been able to function at all since the day before the election. All of the hateful things I saw people posting got to be too much.

  153. Thank you for saying the things that help. I hope you know how much it means to us all to see that there are still actual human beings out there. This is horrific and I’m still a queasy zombie but we just have to keep being the best people we can be, and we have to pay really close attention and go ahead and reach out, and let people know we care and will be there for them. And I already talked to my son the first day about keeping an eye open and intervening or getting help if he sees someone being harassed. After I broke the news to him, I mean, and sent him to watch baby goats being loud until we stopped crying for a while.

  154. Medicinal kittens. I’m going to remember that. Definitely help with mood for sure.

  155. My cousin & his friends on FB are treating this like a joke and I dearly want to lay into them for it. I’m looking at your kitten gifs instead, because arguing with people who don’t care and won’t listen will only drain my time and energy and won’t fix their ignorance. That said, I’m determined that this shit stops here, so I’ll be volunteering for the NZ Green Party next year for sure.

  157. Thanks Jenny you were able to put in words exactly what I am thinking. We all need to show more empathy❤️️

  159. I have done three things after I woke to the nightmare the morning after; I contributed to my favorite charity for veterans, the Gary Sinise Foundation because who knows what will happen to those who serve, I started reading “Mein Kampf” by Hitler to try to discover the mindset of monsters, and started searching for homes in Europe in case the wall is built to keep us in and under control. I also thanked a soldier today for his service and I’m going to buy a book for the grocery Cashier who said she can’t afford to buy the new book out by her favorite author. Still in despair. What now.

  160. I could have done with your cat gifs after the Brexit vote. I can understand how you are feeling. Keep smiling, despite it all there are still plenty of good people out there.

  162. Today I ordered 300 black calabash safety pins and some Tibetan silver heart charms. I am not the most artsy of people, but I figure that I can handle a 2 piece art project. I am going to make some nifty safety pins and give them out to friends, family, coworkers and strangers on the street all through the holidays. In the meantime I am praying for the softening of the pharaoh’s – err, president elect’s – heart.

  164. Hopefully, we will not become the Jerry Springer Show of the western world. At least in CA, we’ll now have pot (and education — our 2 ed propositions passed!), but you’ll have to bring your own shopping bag.

    Thank you for the kitty gifs. Here is a link to a video of my most recent foster kittens. (They’re all adopted, but mom still needs a furever home.). They’re polydactyl and American Curl.
    https://gma.yahoo.com/video/unusual-kittens-crazy-cute-home-005405711.html

  165. I have faith in the majority of humanity. We are decent–fallible, but decent–human beings. And we will not be led like lemmings. As you said already in a previous post, IT’S GOING TO BE OK. Because we will make it so. We’re the grown-ups here, after all:). Yikes.

  167. Thank you for this, Jenny. The last few days I have most definitely felt the small, orange hand of depression pushing me down. Your words and gifs, plus Chelsea Handler’s post declaring she’s not retreating to Spain and why, have helped. I’ve been determinedly avoiding the neggy vibes sent my way by some (even those closest to me?!) who think all this is No Big Deal and I’m just one of many “wallowing in self-pity.” I’ve turned off the news and stopped reading the internet (well, all the DT-related stuff anyway). I’m reading about Henrietta Lacks and crocheting myself a new pair of slippers. I spend a lot of time petting my cat and hiding under a blanket. I’ve also doubled up on my head meds and hope to feel like I can breathe again in a week or two. After that I’ll have to decide if I can be one of the lights at the end of the tunnel or if I will have to retreat to the other side of the wall.

  168. I’m trying to find balance and starting a new med for my Sjögrens as well as deal with a few life things that are being thrown at me about my family who need extra energy/prayers right now. I want to rebel against my new physical therapist when it’s not her fault that I have lympedema and she’s just trying to help me even though it’s not very bad right now….I’m in fight mode right now because of the election as I got over the flee mode…and I know it can turn about face in a New York Second (and I’ve never been to NY City). Kittehs are always good and I miss mine every day since they crossed over the Rainbow Bridge! I can’t have any more due to allergies! So I have to survive just seeing pictures of kittehs on here. And I visit this website often when things get too overwhelming, like now: https://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/catPurrNoiseGenerator.php
    {hugs}

  169. I was so legitimately terrified and sad and feeling helpless that I called a suicide hotline. (Univere bless those good people!) Then I found out there is still a tiny glimmer of hope. If it brought me comfort and gave me something to make me feel less helpless, then maybe it might help even one other person, so here it is:
    Petition to Electoral College: Make Hillary Clinton President on December 19
    https://www.change.org/p/electoral-college-electors-electoral-college-make-hillary-clinton-president-on-december-19?recruiter=553555877&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=share_twitter_responsive

    For people who need hope until the meds/other support can kick in, here’s something you can do. At least we have to try! Electoral college voters in TX (among other states) are a large part of the key. We need only 38 electors to vote the popular vote instead. Spread the word. Contact yoir state electors. Get the mwdia imvolved. As long as there is something to be done, we should give it our all. There is literally nothing to lose and a first for everything.

  170. Thank you for this. It is what I feel in my heart, my stomach and my mind. I don’t often read blog posts just glance through. I have read and reread this post. (although I have read and enjoyed both of your books) A little bit of comfort and sharing with all of the people I love. Your writing feels like you are talking to me, that we share a place in this world. Needed this today.

  171. ^Get the media involved.
    Sorry, I suck at typing on my tiny phone screen with my giant man thumbs. 🙁

  172. Thank you for your healing wise post. More than anything now we need safe healing real communities. And virtual doesn’t mean not real…. the kittens and your words are a balm.
    Thank you,
    Stacy

  173. OMG I’M SO SORRY FOR THE DUPLICATE COMMENTS! And for this one being so shouty. Please delete the two duplicates? And this one too. Argh. 🙁🙁🙁

  174. Michael Moore has some words of wisdom.
    Take a look! Try not to stew. Best wishes.

  175. Don’t think you got away with it! I see how you snuck those ferrets in there. Very sneaky. 🙀

  176. I love that you offer compassion. And with compassion comes hope and care and love and that’s a far better message than anything else I’ve heard in the past 4 days. Love each other people. I’m sending good thoughts your way. :o)

  178. I teach in a high school with a lot of immigrant students. It’s been a rough week–very dark and scary and most of the teachers have spent most of our time trying to comfort these very frightened young people. Medicinal kittens are excellent. Thank you.

  179. Thank you for your wise words, as well as your medicinal ferret/kittens. I’m still aching but I feel much better than I did before I read your comforting post.

  181. Thank goodness for kitties. I’ve been a mess all week, and nearly lost it when I went to my daughter’s Veterans Day program at her school this morning. It’s a good thing that I have a doctor’s appointment at the VA on Monday, because I need some antidepressants to get through the next four years. I appreciate all my fellow veterans today, and every other day, and hope like hell that we don’t get thrown into another ridiculous war or wars. We don’t need any more war veterans. Enough is enough.

  182. we don’t need to watch CNN or Fox every minute of every day to see what the latest outrageous nonsense is–turn of twitter, turn off FB, turn off the TV or the news. Whatever happens, already has and there aint a damn thing any of us can do to change that. And when my husband turns on CNN I pull out the earplugs.

    I lived in a house with a leaky roof, for years. I learned very early on to do everything possible to catch the drips, anticipate where they might be, and how to get clever at it. The rest, I pretended werent there. If you can’t make it better, walk away from it.

    Thank you, Jenny. Deep breaths.

  184. 💜 thank you! Been on the border of crying so many times this week! 🐱 always help. Lots of hugs and love for everyone!!!

  187. Had an 8 hour drive today and listened to Furiously Happy. When I got home I ate something, jammied up and then came here for more Jenny. You are wise and hilarious and seriously twisted. And I love you!

  188. You could always come to MA…recreational pot was voted legal on Tuesday.

    Without intentionally dropping a lot of responsibility on your shoulders, you continue to be a beacon in this fricken nightmare gloom. I can only continue to offer my thanks. Today of all days this election seems like a slap in the face and it feels like the only way forward is head down and try to keep breathing.

  189. Jennifer – you are amazing. I am looking for the perfect taxidermy animal to send you one day as a payback for all of the laughter and joy you have brought. I haven’t found it yet. It’s hard to beat the shakespeare mouse after all…I love the way you are dealing with this – not blame or hate or anything. Just be kind, the world is obviously hurting and the only way we can fix it is one person willing to not be ‘right’ and just be human. I will definitely be paying for the next person in line next time I am at a drivein. Great fricking idea. Continue being you.

  190. I had to remove myself from facebook for a while. The hate, and the anger was too much for me. Mostly because I understand. I understand how the one side feels frightened and I understand how it looks like everyone is just upset that their person didn’t win. It’s hard to have everyone on my fb feed, (most of which are not American), argue about it all. It’s hard to see so many people hate with such ease.

  191. Thank you so much. My techniques so far, which I plan to continue, are: No tv or radio news. No FB except messages. Streaming Disney music alternating with Christmas music. Lots of trips to the grocery store (I have 3 kids lol) and compliment cashier on her hair, etc. Serenity prayer. I’m not Christian but it is still perfect.
    I was in the midst of getting- maybe- diagnosed with depression when the election happened. Now we have to wait to figure me out I guess :-/ cause I still feel sad all the time but the election. And chronic health issues. And no job due to that right now. Sigh… Ah Little Mermaid is on… 🙂
    Anyway thank you. I feel more human when I read you

  192. I am shocked at how comforting reading this post was, although I shouldn’t be because you are genuinely a treasure to me. And in spite of not being much of a “cat person”, I feel compelled to report that when I saw the grey & white one beneath the words “medical marijuana”, I actually thought OMG KITTEH LOOK AT KITTEH and may have even left my body for a moment. I think it was from the gif, but it could have been an ethereal contact high from the word “marijuana” because this week I am missing it in a mighty way. Sending so much love and light to you, Victor and Hailey; it’s sent from Georgia, but I promise that I cleaned off as many cooties as I could.

  193. <3
    Also, you should check out the website writtenkitten.co. It has a text box that shows you a photo of a kitten every time you write 100 words. Your post just reminded me of it. It makes painful things (like homework) a lot less painful.

  196. Thank you so much. I needed this. Tuesday was a horrible day for me, but not just because of the elections. My mom died that afternoon, and so looking at cute pictures of cats is rather comforting to say the least.

  197. Thank you!!! I sooooo needed the kittens today. Much love and many hugs to you! “Freedom fighters don’t always win, but they’re always right” Molly Ivins

  203. Thank you for this. Kitties make everything better. The slo-mo car crash kittens were the best!

  205. Love all of it…medicinal kittens and thoughts…heard a short piece on NPR…Science Friday with Ira Phalto (sp?)…discussion with a psychologist… says believing your adversary can change..believing in the possibility of change helps reduce the stress..creates hope and is uplifting. And getting out and involved and helping others helps (like Jenny’s community!). Really interesting discussion. Hugs to all!

  206. No, thank YOU for being amazing (and for the kitty gifs). We can all get thru this together!!

  207. Pingback: So where do we go from here? | Gifford MacShane

  208. Thank you so much for being a sane voice in all of this uncertainty and madness. I have never posted here before but I felt compelled to tell you that your blog and your books help me get through the hardest days. You and the community you have here help me and I appreciate all you and all the people that haunt your blog do. I love you all! Thank you for reminding me everyday that life is worth going through the darkness to breathe in light for however long it lasts. Thank you.

  210. There is always room for cat images. I just posted some wise words from a Dem who barely lost in Missouri. They are worth reading, I believe….

    Hang in there!

  211. And now I need to rematch the Buffy the vampire slayer’s musical episode…
    “where do we go from here? The battle’s done and we kind of won? So, where do we go from here”

  212. I’m giving $20 to the ACLU. I figure they will be needing a lot of money for the coming battles that lay ahead….and I’m gonna go out this weekend and buy your book. I need something to lift my spirits.

  213. I love that the back away giff is like “but I’m a hooman, I’m a hooman… I… Oh.” As he slowly turns back into a cat.

  214. The only positive thing I have to say about Trump is that he might be a good President during the Zombie Apocalypse.

    I’m just going to keep being myself and be a light for the people who are in my sphere, and take care of my horses (which are my therapy). The rest is out of my control, so letting it feed my depression is not an option.
    I hope everyone can find some peace in letting go. Life will continue.💃

  216. Thank you for this Jenny. 🙂 This has pretty much been the shittiest week ever and the only bright spot we’ve had ALL week was that our son, who up to this point in his life has always had a non-butt. We discovered tonight while shopping for new jeans that he actually has a butt now that will hold up and fill out a pair of jeans which made me oddly happy.

  217. I wish kittens or any other animal gifs did the job for me. They don’t, but the effort is appreciated. At least they block out the other stuff. I’ve gone mostly into hiding, although it’s harder to stay away from my news feed than I expected, until I find something I don’t want to see and then I shut it all down and go back to sobbing in a corner. My therapist says shutting down and blocking it all out is a good, healthy choice right now, but most of my support system is #TheBloggessTribe so without Twitter I’m floating mostly alone as I grieve and rage. I’m terrified of what will happen next. I’m terrified of losing my ACA healthcare and not being able to get my mental health meds and therapy. I’m terrified for my gay friends who are set to marry next year. I know I can’t change anything except with protest, but where will that really get us at this point? I feel so helpless.

  218. As someone who lives in a state with medical marijuana, that just passed a ballot measure to legalize recreational marijuana, I can tell you that I was not the only one in need of medication on election night. I have been studying to take my comprehensive exams, this is my final allowable attempt where failure means I don’t get a masters. This is the most stressed out I have been for as long as I can remember. This hurts. I am literally preparing for the most important test I have ever had to take and I am surviving on a balance of caffeine and cannabis. Tuesday night, and since, I have felt like I live in a country where I am hated by my fellow Americans for everything that I am. I have had to back away from social media entirely because it’s just a vacuum of anger, frustration, despair, and bullying. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for always being the kindest person who knows how to shift the narrative and find a way to help us cope. I hope you are well. We will all get through this together and maybe, just maybe, we will in our own way fight harder for the right to be who we are and love the way we do because courage isn’t the absence of fear but the acknowledgement of it and moving forward anyway.

  220. I am a member of this community and i am not a crazy person. Well i am crazy but not that way. Yes, do not engage the loudmouthed hate spouting people…but we are not all that way. We have good reasons for our votes that don’t involve hate. Please love us. We need love too….and kittens.

  221. I’ve been crying for days. I just can’t believe that hate won. This is the only place that I feel safe enough to say that. Thank you.

  223. Thank you. It’s all about recovery right now. I don’t think I’ll ever stop worrying about my friends who are impacted, or total strangers for that matter. It’s a supernova shitstorm.
    We’re going to need a bigger shield captain.

  224. I already have two cats but I feel like I need to adopt some more. That way there would be enough kitty therapy for all of my family members at once.

  227. Dear ALL

    I need your help. In 2013, I was the victim of attempted murder by a family member who was after the inheritance. The police officers, who attended my 911 call in an allegedly very liberal city told me that “women need to keep their mouth shut”. I left behind my research, a 3000 book library, documents and clothes all of which I need for my future. I live in hiding now and refuse to back down. I need help getting my property back. Ideas are welcome. Not a minority, just a highly educated female and it happened to me.

  228. Researching the stages of grief. I go back and forth from denial to depression. Thank you for the medicinal kitties! We will get through this, hopefully stronger than ever.

  229. Even those of us who voted for Trump are hurting and there is trepidation. Not an ideal choice but our choice. There will never be an ideal choice for anyone but the beauty of America is having freedom to choose. We are not deplorable, we volunteer, we recycle, we fight for our country, protect our communities, we love everyone and cherish the freedom of all of our citizens. We support the rights of the protesters but are saddened to see the destruction by some. We love kittens and puppies and I for one appreciate your awesome humor and animal gifs. Much love and comfort to us all!

  230. Thanks for the much-needed cat humor. The title of your first book, though, keeps resonating in my mind. Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, indeed!

    I put out a political post on my blog today too (https://roseinreallife.com/) and it’s not a political blog by any means. I found it a good way to release a little pent-up gas, though.

    Thank you, Jenny, for being you. It’s good to know there are a lot of us out there.

  232. Thank you for the medicinal kittens. And the kind words. Now I am sharing this with others!

  233. Pretty sure kitten gifs are not even ridiculous, now that the definition of ridiculous has been grabbed by the p*ssy and flipped upside-down.

  234. Kelly at #130 and Anonymous at #230….not one person has written a post in support — or even in acknowledgement– to these posts. Every one is ignoring them. I don’t want to ignore them, and will speak to them:
    I feel sorry that you feel wary now to voice your choice. I am not a Trump supporter in any way, but I think everyone has the right to follow his or her own conscience without being called names. Perhaps you could say to those who are rude to you: People, if you are going to champion acceptance and love then do so with everyone. Otherwise you are just as bigoted as the ones you are reviling. Diversity is good … as long as it is MY kind of diversity? That doesn’t work.
    I think that a great number of people are severely over-reacting to this election result. People saying that now they are afraid. Why? Nothing has happened yet!! Maybe nothing bad will happen! Why go around making yourself…and the people around you… crazy and stirring up trouble that has not even happened? I think it is a sign of a spoiled and pampered population that everyone is so quick to get hysterical and automatically assume that the worst is going to happen. If you know what it is like to have had serious and genuine trouble and reason to fear in your life, you learn not to “borrow trouble” ahead of time. You don’t panic just because something might happen. You learn to remain calm, and wait and see. Sometimes what looks like the worst thing turns out to be a good thing….or at least not as bad as you first thought it was. Nothing is ever helped by panic and over-reaction. I don’t even want to be around anyone right now because everyone is going into hysterics unnecessarily. You can get a lot of attention for yourself that way, but how is it helpful to yourself or anyone else?
    Please, everyone. Take some deep breaths and calm the hell down. (And watch those kittens again!!♥) It is extremely unlikely that this is the end of the world. And even if it were, how would it help to go around panicking ahead of time? You are creating problems that would not even exist without your over-reactions. Enjoy the good stuff. There are still mountains and sunsets. Nothing that really matters has changed.
    And, Jenny, thanks for the kittens. They made me smile, and it is hard to remember to smile when everyone around you is all gloom and doom and acting as if the world has come to an end.

  235. Kitty cuteness strikes again! I love this Jenny. Thanks for the pick-me-up ❤️❤️

  237. Dear, Darling Jenny,
    I don’t know you, I’ll probably never meet you, but I love you. You cheer me up. You are a source of strength. I am so angry, bitter, scared, disappointed but then…
    KITTENS! Thanks again.

  238. @Kelly at #130 and @Anonymous at #230 — i have been afraid in social situations to talk about voting Democratic for all of my adult life, but I live in the reddest end of a very red state. If you are surrounded by blue voters I know what it’s like to be afraid to engage with people.

    The kind of blowback you are getting from friends is happening to people on both sides, and not only friendships but families are being split apart by this. I don’t have any solutions to offer for that. But I do think you have every right to refuse to talk to someone who refuses to listen to you reasonably and insults you instead. Look for the people who are willing to listen instead, there are Democrats out there who know that there are reasonable Republicans and are more than willing to have an intelligent conversation with one. It actually restores our faith in the two party system when we’ve been having to listen to too many idiots, and god knows there are plenty of idiots out there to go around in both parties. It sounds like you’ve both been having to listen to a lot them yourselves lately.

    Friends should not be insulting friends. Your family you’re stuck with, but your friends you choose. The whole friendship breaks down when neither of you are willing to listen to the other person’s point of view. It gets stronger when you start because you both expand each other’s horizons. I am sorry that your friends are letting you down in this.

    @Enola at #235 — the problem is that bad things are already happening to people, because this election seems to have given permission to the worst elements of our society to unleash their baser impulses. One of our state universities has already had to issue a letter emphasizing that it is a place of inclusion because of two incidents that have happened to students since Wednesday, a friend of mine has a friend in Kansas who was attacked for wearing a safety pin signally that they’d help anyone who was being attacked (idea cribbed from the UK after Brexit), another internet friend said a total stranger came up to her and her friend while they were eating lunch in a public restaurant and called her friend a “dyke Hillary supporter” for no other reason than that she was wearing a flannel shirt. This is stuff I personally know about, as opposed to the massive amount of incidents that are anecdotally filling up the internet. When there are hundreds of these type of incidents that were unleashed since Wednesday morning from all across America, they cannot all be explained away as fake or trolling, as the right is currently trying to do. This is the America we woke up to on Wednesday morning, so saying nothing bad has happened or will happen ignores that it already is taking place.

    Please note, I am not saying that all Republicans, or all Trump supporters, are engaging in this type of behavior, because I believe most of them find these actions as repugnant as the rest of us. This is not the America any of us believe in or want to see, and certainly Kelly and Anonymous sound like women who would never countenance this. But a small element, the racist, sexist underbelly of America, found a home in the Trump campaign and his rhetoric has given them permission to act and speak openly that they didn’t have before. Somehow we all have to work together to make America a place of safety, hope and trust for all again if we are ever going to make a better future or unify as a nation.

  239. Let me change signally to signalling (no matter how much I proofread, I always miss something) and “the right” to “some on the right” or “pundits on the right”. Not all conservatives are trying to dismiss these reports out of hand. I try to stay away from absolutes, but this one accidentally slipped through, and I apologize.

  240. Thank you, Jenny. I needed these today and will probably need them every day for a long time, but now I know where to find them when I do.

  241. Thank you–your comments about the surreal election results actually made me feel less anxious and isolated. It has been a bleak few days.

  244. THANK YOU. I’ve been in the funk and finally thought maybe I’ll see if Jenny has anything to say to help the fog. This is exactly what I needed.

  246. Pingback: 5 Comfort Books – tanyascreams

  247. THIS! It is so helpful and so healing. I’ve had a tough time and I’ve been feeling like I’ve just been sitting at home and not been doing anything and there is a LOT I want to do and reading this is giving me hope to really do what I am aiming to do!

  249. Pingback: Five Days Later

  251. Dark Star In The Morning:
    From your post above:
    “a small element, the racist, sexist underbelly of America, found a home in the Trump campaign and his rhetoric has given them permission to act and speak openly that they didn’t have before.”

            This may very well be true. And it is indeed a bad sign if so. I would suspect that if the election had gone the other way these people would be acting the very same way, however, especially as Trump stated repeatedly that he "would not accept it" if he lost. Those who are angry, contemptuous, and/or downright evil will spread their badness no matter what. But it is true that things Trump has said will lend an air of permission to those who wish to perpetrate bigotry and hatred. 

                          All that any of us can do is try our best to spread the opposite in our own corner of the country. I personally am going to try to be kind to strangers. To pay kindness that I receive forward. To remain peaceful in my heart. To try to right any wrong that happens right in front of me. That is all any of us can do. I wish all of us luck. And kittens.

    And again, thank you, Jenny, for this blog. It means a lot to a lot of us.

  252. For some reason, my post got cut, above. Don’t know why. All that I was saying is this:
    This may very well be true. And it is indeed a bad sign if so. I would suspect that if the election had gone the other way these people would be acting the very same way, especially as Trump stated repeatedly that he “would not accept it” if he lost. Those who are angry, contemptuous, and/or downright evil will spread their badness no matter what. But it is true that things Trump has said will lend an air of permission to those who wish to perpetrate bigotry and hatred.
    All that any of us can do is try our best to spread the opposite in our own corner of the country. I personally am going to try to be kind to strangers. To pay kindness that I receive forward. To remain peaceful in my heart. To try to right any wrong that happens right in front of me. That is all any of us can do. I wish all of us luck. And kittens.
    And again, thank you, Jenny, for this blog. It means a lot to a lot of us.

  254. Jenny, Thank you for the kitten love. For anyone still hurting after this election, you may find comfort in reading John Pavlovitz’s blog post titled Here’s Why We Grieve Today.

  255. So was that last pic of a cat licking ferrets? If so was it mothering the ferrets or doing a taste test? Just wondering. Stretching kitty was my favourite.

  256. For anyone looking for something productive to do, to make a difference, we are starting a pledge to not shop on Black Friday. We will use the power of our wallets to show Trump and the other republicans in Washington that we will not tolerate hate. So spend Black Friday with your family, donate money to charity or put it in a savings account, but don’t buy anything. So please make the pledge! And please tell your friends!

    http://notbuyingit2016.com/

  258. Thank you. I’m currently feeling very alone because my family are Trump supporters. I moved home to take care of this family and cut off from friends who I could commiserate. I can call them, but I’d start crying again and I know not healthy. I’m glad I found you and others who understand that we are going to cry, but also need to laugh if we are going to be able to help ourselves and others.

  260. Wondering if you read this far down in the comment thread- but want to say between your post with gifs and this iammoshow’s positive raps with his cats I’m feeling better. In tiny increments. Thank you.

  261. I must admit that I used a bit of your therapeutic cat technique in my post. However there is also the phrase “heinous fuckery most foul” in there too so…ya know…balance.

  262. Definitely saving this post if not for the repository of kitten gifs.

    Has anyone else participated in that Facebook book-sharing project yet? I gave my giftee Furiously Happy, because we all need to laugh right now.

  264. No. We are most likely screwed and screwed hard. The world is dominated by hate. We just thought our wealth and institutions would protect us. Jenny can talk about kittens while (literally) sleeping with the enemy. Frank Navarro in Mountain View didn’t even survive one day without being anonymously attacked and suspended from his job. Navarro is a Holocaust survivor – ponder that while thinking about kittens.

  265. I’m so glad to see that the Safety Pin Movement has been mentioned several times. I just learned about it yesterday. One of the choir members of our church made an announcement about it and then handed out safety pins after the service. Our UCC church is dedicated to equality and tolerance for everyone regardless of gender, sexual preference, race or belief. Today starts my wearing of the pin. It is my deepest heartfelt wish that no one ever feels the need to seek comfort from me or the pin. I’m doubtful that that will be the case.

    Apparently the movement started just after Brexit and all of the anti-immigrant nastiness going on over there. I’m glad it made its way across the pond.

  271. I keep dollar bills handy to give to street people at intersections when I’m waiting for the light. I’ve noticed that other people seem to be giving more since the election.

  272. I did feel just a little better after donating to Planned Parenthood in Gov. Pence’s name. I figure getting a thank you card from PP would probably be taken as seriously as any letter I wrote him. The last time I wrote a government official I ended up on their e-mailing list that was damn near impossible to get off of.

  273. So much fun after seeing your post
    . Hope you continue making gif animals in the same way you are doing it. Do you have ever thought about doing this kind of material using politics, they are also the same, right? Its just that the last ones are more funny.

  274. Thank you for the heaping helping of medicinal cats! Needed a big dose of those meowsters.
    Now, off to do my best to make sure it (Trump-like circumstances) don’t happen again!!!!!

  275. Pingback: Figuring out what to do next | The Book Stop

  277. Thank you so much for this. This past week has been hard from the high of pantsuiting up with my daughter as we both headed out to vote a week ago to the low of the actual returns coming in. And the highs and lows continue from being worried about friends who are transgender or gay or African-American to worry about who are all these people that don’t seem to care about these issues. And then I see posts like yours and I shed tears for a different reason. A renewed commitment to not let the negativity overshadow all the random acts of kindness that I do see, and to engage in more random acts myself. Of kindness, that is. To try to be more active politically and not be afraid to do so because I want my daughter to see the strength in putting on your big girl panties and getting to work. It’s what we’ve always done as women and it’s what we continue to do. Thank you for your posts. You make me laugh and that’s the best thing of all!

  278. Stats aren’t for everyone, does it help to point out that slightly fewer people voted for Trump than for Romney in 2012? ‘The President’ has changed hugely, but ‘America’ hasn’t really changed. Less sure about Hillary than Barack, that’s about it.

  280. Pingback: The Question Highly Sensitive People Are Asking Post-Election - Introvert Spring

  282. The Internet says that the stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Mine were:

    Denial (It’s all just a dream. Rats, I woke up and Trump is declaring victory. WAKE UP AGAIN! WAKE UP AGAIN!!!!)
    Numbness (My mind has broken. Nothing makes sense anymore. Up is down and left is orange.)
    Fear (What is going to happen now? What do I tell my kids?)
    Acceptance (Maybe he won’t be that bad after all.)
    More Fear (He appointed WHO to WHAT POSITION?!!!)

    Currently, my brain has started accepting that what is happening is real – despite how horrible it seems. I’m now moving forward to find a way to band together and protect those who need protecting. If you’ll allow a shameless plug, my son gave a Bar Mitzvah speech in September which is more appropriate now than ever, entitled Don’t Let Amelek Win, all about protecting those who are vulnerable: http://www.techydad.com/2016/09/dont-let-amelek-win-nhls-bar-mitzvah-speech/ (Amelek attacked the weak and defenseless.) Now is the time to band together and fight off any modern-day Ameleks together.

  283. I need to see good things and kittens are not enough today. I’m having a conversation with a dear older friend who voted for Trump because we are friends and she was afraid I wouldn’t be her friend anymore and I want to reassure her that I can care. Will donate when payday comes. At work joined in a four hour meeting to bring people, books and joyful experiences together. It’s just that I don’t see this ending here. I don’t see this as a single traumatic event. All of the decisions I see so far are ones restricting freedoms and I just can’t find a quiet place. This isn’t about Republicans and Democrats for me. It’s one terrifying level of behavior. I’m hoping these good things I’m doing will help others but for me it’s just not enough. I’m afraid I’ll have no space that’s good soon. I’m sorry I’m dumping here where there is so much positivity but I need more than kittens. Maybe horses.

  285. Thanks,Jenny. I’ve spent the past week trying to simultaneously not be an ostrich while maintaining some sort of self care, and doing both pretty shittily. Watching 60 minutes while painting my nails was not a great idea.i realized this morning that I haven’t checked in on your perspective this week and am glad I did.

  286. Pingback: I Have a Girl Crush #ihatetoday - This Is Adult Life

  288. Yep- the forgiveness piece, that’s my move. And I needs more otters. And dogs, cats, ferrets, rabbits and other lovely ducking creatures. Thanks, auto correct but OK. Turtles and squirrels and marines, soldiers, airmen, sailors also make me happy.

  289. Thank you for this post Jenny. I am re-reading Furiously Happy because that is how I am going to move forward through this insanity. You are the best, you have given me this amazing tool I needed to stop being so very sad and depressed in front of my 2 year old son and allowed us to have fun and be ridiculously crazy in the face of this darkness. We had a completely different weekend over the past two days because I am embracing your motto, we danced around and played in the snow, splashed water all over the bathroom and ran around the house like lunatics because I decided to be Furiously Happy and that is how I want him to see me.

  290. I needed this. I was freaking out and I feel bad and I don’t know what’s going on.

  291. that Kayla and the coyote post is one of the best exchanges I’ve ever read…and sooo totally you, I’ll bet it kinda makes you want a baby coyote, at least for an afternoon

  292. Pingback: So where do we go from here? | My Sharing Blog

Leave a Reply

MY BOOKS:


shop

Subscribe to the bloggess, y'all.

Enter your email address and receive notifications of new posts by email. It\'s like I\'m stalking you, but more efficient.

Archives

ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:

I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:

Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.

Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.

The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”.  Often irreverent, always honest.

Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.

Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

Beautiful Writers book: Writers! This coming-of-career memoir (w/ the BEST advice from celeb authors, real shit you haven’t heard) is life. A page-turning beach read doubling as how-to. #Magic

The Dating Days of Marta O: When I told my sister I was building a blog she said: “Do people still read blogs?” I do not know, but if YOU want to read it, here it is. Keep in mind, my stories about dating after 40 are for the brave.

Where Do I Belong? A memoir of Sarah Carrington: The unbelievable story of growing up in a religious cult in the mountains of Northern British Columbia. What happens to you in life doesn’t make you strong; rising above it does.

CONNECTED: A Personal Journal for Ketamine Therapy Created by writer & patient Katherine Davis for this powerful clinical treatment. If considering ketamine for major depression, check out this essential tool.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: SO GOOD.

Discover more from The Bloggess

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading