Sometimes it’s easier to just burn down your house and start anew.

in Random Crap

You know what you should do when your house is messy?  Burn it to the ground and salt the earth so nothing can ever grow there again.  Or just get a second house.

I can’t afford either of those things so instead Hailey and I built a tiny house.  And by “built a tiny house” I mean we went to park and made a house for fairies.  But just the outside because architecture is hard when you’re squatting in what might be poison oak or might just be really itchy leaves you’re allergic to.  Regardless, my house is still a bit messy but at least it’s not built on poison oak or giving me a rash.  So all things considered, things are pretty good.

before

after
AFTER.

Click here for the video tour.

PS. Some of you have asked for a tour of the real, haunted dollhouse I’ve been making for the last 12 years.  Working on it.

98 thoughts on “Sometimes it’s easier to just burn down your house and start anew.”

Read comments below or add one.

  4. That is adorable! Where did you get…or how did you make that charming door? I make fairy houses and dollhouse and I love that door and the simplicity of the design. Y’all rock!

    (That’s a really old one from when I was first working on my dollhouse. It’s made of balsa wood and I painted and stained it and made little door knobs. ~ Jenny)

  9. That’s adorable. I’m totally digging the book on the bench and the bottle on the stairs. Very thoughtful.

  11. Oh, I love these little fairy houses…I’m sure everyone will be charmed by it and add to it…and I get the whole cleaning thing…it was so much easier to move than clean, so I would do that every few years…you just can’t keep doing that forever…or can you?? Mmmm.

  12. No realtor, settlement company, inspector, assessor, lender or mortgage required?

    Sign. Me. Up.

    We are in the process of selling the second of two houses this year. Your idea is better.

  17. Every frigging time I tell my boyfriend the burn it down and start over method is the only way he starts throwing around words like “arson” and “insurance fraud” and then I just tune it out.

  20. Whenever I feel like the reality I am in is bringing me down I remember that I am living in a fairy tale of my own making, and I since I believe in magic, this means anything is possible!

  23. I’ve been going through a numbing and exhausting depression these past several weeks mixed with some episodes of anxiety just to keep the whole episode interesting (read with as much sarcasm as you can muster). Reading your posts, the comments of your followers as well as following #TheBloggessTribe’s tweets on Twitter have helped shine and continue to help shine light through the many cracks of this depressive episode. Thank you to each and everyone of you for that. <3

  26. I sometimes create tiny places for “the fey” or fairies. Don’t know if anyone ever finds them, though, because they are out in the desert. but it would be cool if someone did find one, and I like to think sometimes that happens. In thrift stores (which I haunt for entertainment) I find tiny things that can go into them; sometimes I also find things while walking in the desert. Anything to keep my mind focused on something other than how depressed I am.

  28. I showed my friend and she looked at me all wide-eyed and alarmed and whispered, “she put a door in a tree’s vajayjay…”

  29. I’m mostly curious about the door… is that the back door? Is there a garden inside the tree? Can fairies plant indoor gardens inside trees? Or is it a closet? What would a fairy keep in her closet?

    I’m asking these questions to avoid dealing with my own issues. Because I can’t even get my shit together enough to build fairy houses, which proves you’re more of a grown-up than I am.

  30. I like how you left her a broom, like you’re expecting her to clean her own house while you’re procrastinating cleaning yours.

  31. Love your tiny house! Check out the Tiny Doors Project in Atlanta. Next time you are in Atlanta, you should carve out time to meander around and visit the Doors. It’s a great fun way to spend an afternoon. http://www.tinydoorsatl.com/

  33. I just discovered your wonderful blog and when I saw the heading to your blog, I thought this was a metaphor for the election and you were going to tell us we need to stay here and just keep working on the house as it is. – dirty or not!

  36. There are a lot of trees right outside my apartment building. I’ve been saving up tiny objects + stones + ideas for making a fairy garden there on the sly. (Only a tiny bit related to the fact that my apartment is basically taken apart right now so the maintenance guys could bleed the ancient-ass radiators.) This is adorable!

  37. Is that a jug of moonshine on the stairs? I’m not sure encouraging drunkenness among the fey is a good idea. They might get it in their wee fey heads to burn their own house down, which, seeing as it’s attached to the tree, could be problematic. Plus you’ve provided a built in accelerant there.

    On the other hand? DRUNK FAIRIES ARE HYSTERICAL.

  40. The Icelandic huldufólk would approve – it’s a definite step up from their usual choice of a wind-blasted boulder perfectly sited to get in the way of a new road. Although they’d bitch like crazy (and by bitch I mean make your lives a misery) about any poison ivy.

  47. Such a cute fairy house! As they say in real estate, “Location. Location. Location.” I’m not sure about the poison ivy, but I’m having sympathetic itching, so there’s that.

    For my own house I’m thinking either a match or a big ol’ shovel and dumpster. I did some grooming at the animal shelter yesterday and we had one poor little poodley guy that was so matted, we needed to shave him down and start over. Talk about a big metaphor in a small package!

  48. Thank you so much. I spent all night cleaning my room now it looks like a bomb went off. I was so upset I was about to burn it to the ground for real. I’m really glad I’m not the only one. Btw I usually don’t want to burn things to the ground I’m not a pyromaniac but I hate cleaning.

  49. Whenever I have to move, every five years or so, I start thinking that burning the house down is really the only practical way to go….but we always end up doing it the hard way instead. Since the next move will probably be into senior’s housing I think I will just take what I want and leave the rest behind. I will have a big FREE STUFF sign by the side of the road. People will be able to walk in and help themselves. No pricing, no haggling, no thieving……no wrapping, endless packing , no angst over whether something should be thrown out or not, who to give it to (I have no kids to fight over stuff). I am getting quite relaxed imagining it.

  50. The Viking is Danish….of course……and Elves (Nissemand) are a big part of Christmas. You can buy kits with a tiny, little door, a ladder, a little rocking chair, etc to make a Nissemand house in a corner of your house. They are adorable. They also have a Christmas show that runs every week of December of TV – The Julekalender. Here’s the song for it. Enjoy! :o) Stick with it and it gets better at 1:20. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6XoyIFaGaI

  51. i might have impulse control issues
    or be too suggestible
    ’cause i just burned my house down.
    soooo…
    what’s the address there?

    (seriously–that is cute as crap)

  53. It’s what I’ve been thinking about the election. We’re saving up to leave the country (the disillusionment and discontent aren’t new, have been building for years), and it’s going slowly.

  54. Recently sold my house and I’m moving in with an old friend. At least once a day I’ve wished I could burn the house, but I sold it and now I can’t.

  56. Enjoy the moment and don’t chew yourself out over shit undone.

    My house looks like a hairy nincompoop hasn’t tidied up in rough my a decade.

    I can however live with myself as a human being, and that is priceless.

  57. The mess at my place is due to the fact that it is small, and that any kind of mess looks really messy because.it.is.right.there.in.my.face….but it’s getting better (the guest room, luckily, will hold no guests this weekend – I’m using the shovel to move the mess in there).

    I’ve often said, as I walked away at the end of the day from my desk which looks like a bomb went off: “All I need is a match and a rake.” Family saying.

    I also used to tell my kids, “Animals bring their faces to their food. Humans bring their food to their faces.” But that phase is over. : )

    Sending all good thoughts and, envious in only the best way there is, loving your creativity and willingness to acknowledge your “real self.”

  58. Fairies are the fun thing to share and delight in these days!
    Finally.
    And Unicorns….
    Fairies and Unicorns are awesome fun.

  59. WOW! I am so amazed by your talent; I have to admit, when I took your virtual tour, I was fully prepared to be awed by whatever you had created INSIDE as well! (Yeah, like you’ve got the spare time to hollow out a tree and do some interior decorating lol.)

  62. But, like, where do the stairs lead to? Is it a magical door only fairies can see? The public demands answers!

    (If you know the secret word a door opens up. I don’t know the secret word though. ~ Jenny)

  63. I can totally understand the wanting to burn your house down or blow it up!!!! I live with my depressed mom with a bit of dementia and hoarding. Then add in my own Depressive disorder and anxiety issues, added to physical maladies of MS, and migraines,arthritis, and multiple other crap. I listened to your first book last weekend on a quick trip to my brothers to watch one of my nephews soccer game. I was really down, from everything, my stuff, moms stuff, My asshole brothers shit, and the election and I wanted to crawl into a ball in my and never come back out. But I promised that kid… soo I decided to look for not a self help book but something to help me and I found your second book and LAUGHED the whole three hour drive to Orlando. I had not felt better in a long time. There is someone understands some of my shit. As I understand some of your shit. Thank you for being brave and facing the world with your truths, I am not sure I am so gifted.

    Please tell Victor he should start his own Blog to counteract some of your claims. 🙂 Might help some couples.

    Thank you,
    DizzyLisi

  65. Eh USB an insurance agent. So I know of what I speak.
    Your homeowners policy will not cover a house fire that you set yourself. Especially if it was set to avoid housework.. Also, if a fire were to accidentally start while you were maybe using a large propane torch to fuse glass against all outside advice…he says make sure it is a total loss. Grab the kids and animals ( ok, he said grab the dog. He left the kids and cats out.) and fan the flames. We have better coverage for a total loss.

    Yes, these are the types of conversations we have. In fact just yesterday we had a discussion about using the torch in the house. He is so unreasonable.

  68. So lovely, and like ^auntkatky^, I was pleasantly surprised by the content. I love that you doodle and build tiny ferris wheels and tiny faerie homes in random park trees to keep from Stressing The Fuck Out. I also love that Hailey is interested enough to help you, when chance allows.

    You’re beautiful. Thank you for not posting politically. 🙂

  69. Too bad you can’t put a camera on it and watch what the squirrels do when they see their food supply attached to the tree like that.

  72. I have days where I really would love to burn down the house than try to clean it ..lol
    I absolutely love your little fairy house ! And is that little book one of yours in miniature ? Oh my goodness ! Now I can’t help thinking of poor little fairies choking on their acorn tea while reading one of your books ! Maybe make a fairy hospital in a nearby tree ?

  73. I Know! My house is always untidy and I finally decided to quit trying to pick up after my husband. His arms must be broke, or something. So? I finally hired a woman to come in 2-3 hours a week and now at least my floors are swept and my kitchen and bathroom are clean. I am so happy.

  74. Is Victor O.K. in Japan? Did he feel the earthquake? Hope he, as well as everyone else there, is doing well.

    (This morning he’s back home and safe. Thanks! ~ Jenny)

  76. You are such an awesome mom! Plus, what a great way to put things into perspective. Plus, if you clean the house, it will just get dirty again, so this is a much more productive use of your time.

  77. If you don’t already have fairies in your yard this will attract them.
    And in honor of that small twig growing in front of the tiny house I hope at least one of those fairies will be named Holly.

  78. I know this is totally unrelated to your post, but I had to tell you how excited I was to find your book, “Furiously Happy” here in Italy!!!

  79. Building beautiful little homes for fairies should be a new addition to my resume. Also a reminder that even if you can’t see beauty everywhere, you can build it!

  80. Shouldn’t there be a door at the top of the stairs? Or is this the fairy version of the winchester mystery house? (Can you imagine a fairy version of the winchester mystery house?)

  81. That could be the start of a new hoarder collection……tiny doors. Wouldn’t take up too much room…if I had any room….heck, the mop bucket is still in my room from six weeks ago. I actually did change the mop water two weeks ago and managed to mop part of the floor…..I take the baby steps approach to cleaning. I move at the speed of slow.
    You know, taken out of context, Elyse’s phrase, “Boy are your squirrels gonna be confused.” Would make a great tee-shirt. Mind if I borrow that Elyse? 😉

  82. You should make one of your books into that small fairy version so when the fairy came to visit she would have a good laugh as she read your stories.

  84. love your positive attitude; and playing with your daughter is more important than clean houses

  85. Love it , so adorable! My house is a gigantic mess…needs serious cleaning. So I can relate. I am a bit of a hoarder……jen

  86. Or, of course, you could burn down half the house, then just close the door and live in the rest…Thanks again to Shirley Jackson, for We Have Always Lived in the Castle, reminding (most of) us that it could be a heck of a lot worse!

  87. If the itchy leaves were the spiky ones in the picture, that looks like holly. Never had good luck with that one myself. Also didnt realize it grew that far south (we had im VA though so maybe).

    Lovely house, and I’d imagine any one looking to escape a foot of snow overnight would approve.

    Is that a baby cactus on the stairs? Definitely wouldn’t have those here but would be cool to see.

    The last couple weeks have been rough…thank you for doing what you do. It’s like an instant ray of sunshine or, in the case of falling squid, an outright belly laugh.

  88. It is lovely! Is that River Song”s diary on the bench? Spoilers for the fairies. Perfect!

  90. I’m a reviewer for a website called NetGalley where I’m allowed to read a bunch of unpublished books from pretty much every genre’.

    I recently was selected to read one called “UnF*ck Your Habitat”. We’ll see if maybe they have some tips for me. 🙂

  91. I envy your creative skill. Drawing, fairy houses, duck wigs, writing….stand closer to me and spill some talent on my left arm, would ya?

    Clutter is MADDENING. Sometimes the only way to deal is to pick a nice day, and empty the entire contents of a room out on the lawn. Then you only bring back IN the stuff you want – the rest goes to Goodwill, or on the curb for drive-by scrappers. (In this town they’ll take ANYTHING free – used mattresses and broken garage door mechanisms for starters. I’m 82% certain you don’t have both of those in your house at the moment.)

  92. I love this fairy house. I think I will drag myself off of my couch and try to do something like this today with my kids. Thank you.

  93. Confused – thought you mentioned before you had a housekeeper or an assistant.

    (My wonderful assistant had to quit because she got a full time job so right now is the weird period of time when we readjust and relearn and start with someone new. But not really new because the person taking over starting this week is my sister. YAY! And I do have someone local who comes in at least once a week to help me with work – thank God – but she doesn’t have a lot of hours available. This week she’ll work 5 hours. Sometimes she works more. It’s a tremendous help though. I suspect Victor would like to have someone here full-time but I couldn’t handle that. I enjoy being hermity too much. I’m fine with a bit of mess. ~ Jenny)

  94. I love the door, and the staircase is charming…but the best part is the teeny book. some very small elfin soul is going to love you for this.

  95. Speaking of burning things down and starting anew, this article just made my day. It’s called: A step-by-step guide to making a dumpster fire ornament for 2016. “I realized that most of the news stories I’ve covered this year were too depressing to turn into ornaments. So I made a dumpster fire instead.” Such a gem. Check it out for a good laugh. Cause what else can ya do at this point in time?? http://www.startribune.com/dear-2016-i-made-you-this-ornament-it-s-a-dumpster-fire/402757886/

  97. Pingback: Home For the Holidays | Becoming Cliche

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