I’m not ready.

in Random Crap

My mom called to ask if we were coming for Christmas and I was like, “I think so but Victor has the flu so can I let you know next week?” and she was like, “Well…Christmas is this weekend?” and then I may have passed out and screamed involuntarily a little.  Then I went online and canceled the Christmas crackers I’d ordered to be delivered next week and also I scrawled “JESUS.  LOOK AT A CALENDAR. YOU ARE A GROWN-UP” on my arm.

Then I felt very guilty that I still haven’t put up the tree but in my defense I’m very lazy and also a terrible person.  But I did buy an electric train to go around the tree that we don’t currently have and I spent an hour yesterday playing trains with my child because, hi, I’M SEVEN.  All of this to say that if you are also unprepared for the holiday I FEEL YOU and also I’m high-fiving you in spirit because while other people are making platters of Christmas cookies and gingerbread villages I’m not even sure what day it is.  And that’s fine.  Fine-ish.

(Spellcheck just tried to change “Fine-ish” to “fiendish”.  Thanks, spellcheck.  I wasn’t feeling bad enough already.)

In other words, this Christmas we are winging it even more than usual and we might end up having Christmas dinner at the gas station but we will be doing it with verve and love and laughter and maybe hot dogs and none of us will be telling Victor “WE TOLD YOU TO GET A FLU SHOT WHEN WE GOT ONE” because that’s his present.  And it’s going to be great.  Honestly.  As I was once told, whether there’s a tree or presents or a roast beast to carve, Christmas will come and it will be lovely.  I hope yours (or whatever you celebrate) is lovely too, no matter what it looks like.

PS.  No, seriously.  It’s this weekend.  I know.  I was shocked too.

296 thoughts on “I’m not ready.”

Read comments below or add one.

  2. Have Chinese food for Christmas dinner. It’s all good. It’s OK if you don’t have lots of decorations up. Playing with trains is more important anyway!

  5. I felt that way one year, but it turned out ok.

    This year is the normal “I’ve got so much left to do why are you kids acting crazy oh right there’s only four days left oooh look I should buy this too where did my money go” week before Christmas. 🙂

  7. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it today. I was trying to buy a Christmas card for my brother who is dying in the hospital, and couldn’t find anything appropriate. Depression ensued. Not a Christmas I want to be celebrating this year. Good for you that you woke up in time, though. I hope yours goes well.

  8. I don’t think anyone is really ready. If they say they are, they’re liars and you shouldn’t associate with them.

  12. Oh damn I feel you. So not ready for it. We may just call it a day and eat Chinese. I am so over it, no tree, no gifts nadda!

    Merry Christmas!

  13. I”m 99% sure me and the kids are going to visit my mom and sister for a couple days before new years (it’s a 3 hour drive). I’m still not certain. ugh.

  15. You guys could always come to my house here in Austin. No tree because we have a new kitten, but we’ll be having tamales from Curra’s. And lots of beverages. Maybe cookies, if I feel inspired.

  17. I feel you. I promised to write a story for an online advent calendar, and my brain was all ‘la de dah, plenty of time, I have until the end of the month’…. Uh, NO–this isn’t a regular calendar, the last day is the 24th, not the 31st O__o But I finished it and hopefully it will be fine-ish. Merry Whatever and Happy Always, Jenny.

  18. You should probably check your other arm for notes in case Christmas is like the Silence.

  20. Trains are cool. Gas station hot dogs 🌭, when shared with loved ones, could be the start of a beautiful tradition.

  22. I have the flu, too. I’m supposed to fly on Thursday. Started on Tamiflu today, so we’ll see how it goes. This weekend?! The hell you say. Merry Christmas to one and all.

  23. I needed this post , thanks…staring at an undecorated tree that’s been up a week..but hey, that’s okay. We will get it done tomorrow and Christmas will be great. Or we will get it done the next day……

  24. I chose one thing and did it. I hand colored cards for my friends and family. No tree, because cats and no presents because we all decided to do donations to causes that are important to us. Festive enough. Everybody should do what they want and not feel pressured to whoop it up if they don’t feel like it. Merry Damn Xmas.

  25. Is it bad the the top section of my trees lights burnt out days ago and I just said'” I’ll take the lights off after Christmas and put new ones on it next year”? Because it was a pre-lit tree that the top stopped working on last year, so I added an extra strand over the pre kit strand… and by the end of Christmas the middle burnt out so I just threw it in the box with a note that said, ” Cut out bottom and mid section lights and add new!” I did actually do that and I assumed last years new top section lighting could make it through the season. Tree1 amber 0. Again!

  26. I’m not ready either…but I am ready for this year to be over…on with 2017… I’m sure you will do fine with whatever you do Jenny…just play trains and eat cookies…and enJoy!

  27. My 19-year-old just asked if we’d be making cookies for Christmas.
    We travel full time in an RV, and he’s visiting us on his Christmas break.
    Have you seen the size of our oven?
    Sure.
    We can make cookies.
    Is seven gonna be enough?
    Oy.

  28. Truckstop diners make surprisingly good holiday meals. Just saying.

  29. Christmas is here already?!!! An Austrian veterinarian I worked with would get his Christmas tree on Chrismas eve and his family would doctorate it that night and have a party, just tell people you are Austrian. He also had a shirt that said “lm Austria, not Astralian, we don’t have kangaroos.”

  30. I decided to be an Atheist just so I didn’t have to decorate and have people over. Working so far!

  31. I bought gifts but have wrapped zero of them. Maybe I will just put them under the tree unwrapped. At least then I won’t have to protect the bows from the cats.

  32. This year I totally did not do the tree or the decorations or anything else. Except the presents. I did manage that much. And we will make the 12-hour trek north because I actually do miss my family. I have to say playing things super-chill as opposed to planned and picture-perfect is totally working for us. Not sure I can ever go back. Hallmark-movie-family, we are not, and that’s okay.

  34. I got the tree up today! And I will go shopping Thursday and Friday as the deductible for my car took up all extras this payday! As long as I don’t think about the fact I haven’t bought anything so far I am fine.

  35. Don’t feel bad … I’m not ready either. I swore five years ago that I was never going to use my artificial stinky tree that I have had since my 28 year old daughter was 3 years old ever again. For the past five years, I have ended up setting up that damn tree 2-3 days before Christmas with the crappy lights and ornaments that have dwindled to next to nothing. This year I just KNEW I was going to have my beautiful REAL tree, with my new silver and gold ornaments and beautiful little white lights everywhere.

    The real tree is still sitting at the tree lot up the street (sorry, not paying $70 for a last minute tree) and the decorations and the lights are still at Home Goods. The pretty tree skirt and train I wanted for around the tree are at Walmart … and there hasn’t been one single damn present bought yet.

    Most years, due to no fault of my own, I’m out Christmas Eve usually about 3 hours before all the stores close for the evening, rushing back and forth like a crazy woman trying to buy everything that two teenage boys want. Meh … if it happens it happens … if not, they can unwrap a gift card Christmas morning and then bug the shit out of me to take them shopping for about a month till I finally take them to spend their loot. My daughter was an angel and bought me a winter coat and some boots this year – an early present and something I desperately needed. Much better than the raggedy old sweater I’ve been wearing as a winter coat for the past 6 years or more.

    My birthday is February 11th … and I always hope that they might have a little heart to spend some of that Christmas loot on a present for mom … but as my dad was so fond of telling me, “Wish in one hand and shit in the other, see which you get first.”

    The boys are more than happy to give me a handful of shit.

  36. totally feel you. it’s ok to not be ready. christmas is always so much pressure. but it’s just another day. great excuse to be with people you love, but no need to put pressure on having gifts, baking, trees, etc.
    PS. I was on the subway the other day and this guy was clearly just starting to read Furiously Happy, and I stared at him like a weird for a while and then I was like, Jenny would talk to him even if it was awkward. so i talked to him and told him i was excited for him and even a little jealous because it’s such a great book and i wish i could read it over again like it was the first time and we started talking about books and then I had to get off the subway, but it was a really nice conversation with a random stranger. this is what you do to people. 🙂
    PPS. I also posted this on facebook, but I remembered you wrote somewhere that you don’t use it that much so I thought I’d post the comment here too. sorry if I am spamming you.

  37. I’m fortunate that someone mentioned it was a week away on Sunday, still freaked out a little, though. But we are going to have a lovely time no matter what, and so will you!

  38. Victor – you still need a flu shot. Because catching the other strains floating around after having flu already once in a season really blows. Feel better soon!

  39. Our gas stations have either middle eastern or Cajun food like fried boudin balls and fried pork chops. The gyro and shwarma are good at the middle eastern ones, falafel not reliable.

  40. When’s that mailing deadline for Christmas cards again? Will anyone notice if I use the same cards as last year and the year before (Costco pack)? Sigh.

    I know someone who does new years cards instead since she was supposedly always late with Xmas cards anyway. I think she took me off her list. I’m too many years late with my new years card.

  42. The Victorians put up their trees right before Christmas. You’re not disorganized. You’re merely appreciative of tradition.

  44. Sounds like your folks have it handled, so why sweat it, right? Surely Hailey enjoys the time spent playing together more than she would watching you stress out over decorations and such.

  48. I got my 20 buck Wal-Mart tree up so that is enough Christmas for me, Two of my daughters are flying in (one from San Antonio) and will be staying with me, joy oh joy! They don’t like each other so I’m sure there will be hell to pay and it will be my fault (because everything is my fault). That’s what happens when one is a bad mother. Sigh..

    Have a Merry Christmas!!

  51. I’ve got the gifts (thank you Jenny and the James Garfield miracle) but that’s it. The housemates put up the tree but until one of their sponsors was moving today we had NO ornaments for it. Baking? Forget it, which is dad because our oven is finally fixed (been busted the whole year I’ve lived here). I did make fudge for the school bus drivers of my niece and son though, because they take care to keep an extra eye on the kids (both are autistic). But I’m not ready for the orgy of wrapping to happen on Thursday when the husband is out (have to wrap his stuff too).

  52. I love this! We are not really ready either. We did put our tree up last night but I’m sick with a cold and kinda freaking out that Sunday I have to make a big dinner! Where has this month gone to?

  53. Victor may be getting his present ready for you. A very shitty present. I had a flu shot but still got the flu from the rest of the family (and got hit the worst).

    But, trains! Please tell me you have some unusual passengers…

    (The doctor said there’s a strain going around not covered by the flu shot, so get the shot but still wash your hands. The tamiflu is helping though. He can walk around a bit today. And the train is Barnum & Bailey so it’s all circus animals. Making a car for the illustrated woman and lobster boy now. ~ Jenny)

  54. I somehow managed to get my flights to visit my family sorted before they sold out, which this year was a miracle. And honestly that’s the only reason why I knew it’s Christmas this weekend, because I kept getting the calendar reminders about my flight yesterday. I’m … kind of behind. I hope my family appreciates the gift cards and IOUs they’re getting from me.

  55. Aahhhhh!!! I just put my two (small front door type) trees up tonight…I didn’t want to, I really didn’t. I never feel like I’m in the mood for christmas, even if I’m ready gift wise and travel wise, I just don’t wanna…but once the trees were up, I felt happier, just seeing the glow of lights through the door (I had to go buy some wine), made me happy…and tired and sad and so many other things…maybe I won’t take them down…or maybe I’ll just put a plastic garbage bag around them and pull them out pre decorated next year…who knows…

  56. The Bonsai tree I normally decorate with 1 ornament and a bit of tinsel died in July. For several years it’s the only bit of Christmas decorating I’ve done. I keep forgetting to replace it (hatred of Christmas Shoppers may have something to do with it), and now Christmas is almost here and I’m fully prepared to say “Nuts to this, I’m watching staying home and binge-watching something.”

  57. So not ready. My tree only has 1/4 of the ornaments on it, and the rest of the decorations are lying on the floor. I honestly just can’t force myself to finish. I’ve been going nuts making gifts since we can’t buy any. I’ll be happy when it’s over.

  58. I have no one to get Christmas ready for. I envy you all the panic. Merry Christmas…..

  59. My husband is being proactive this year since I’m always delaying putting up the Christmas tree. I’m not a huge fan of Christmas. Maybe it’s the parties or the stress. I’m just going to try and enjoy my personal Christmas bubble at home.

  60. OK, you can do an old fashioned Christmas! Put up the tree on Christmas Eve, and leave it up until Epiphany (Jan 6th). That WAS the norm until the retail companies decided to have the season start earlier and earlier so they could make more and more money! Also, gifts used to be tokens, not a huge blow the budget fest! Just a reminder of the 3 Kings, something nice, but small. The focus was more low key and loving. People got together and enjoyed each others company, telling stories, singing carols, laughing, and the like. Remember, THERE IS NO CHRISTMAS POLICE! Do Christmas the way you want.

    For me, Christmas is very hard. My birthday is Christmas Eve, but both my father and brother died in December. Most of my family has passed away. I have a wonderful, understanding husband, who tries his best to understand that I am not able to fully throw myself into a Christmas delirium, like I used to. I have two totally unique daughters, one who has her own struggles, and may spend Christmas with us, and the other, who definitely has issues, avoids us and lives far away, will not. We will have a nice dinner at a friend’s house, another friend is flying across the country! Christmas will be very different this year!

    It is only one day, I can enjoy the whole season, a little at a time. Driving around to see Christmas lights is fun! I am going to do it again, maybe tomorrow!

    Hope everyone enjoys their holiday, even when it is quiet, or different, or totally messed up. That’s what memories are made of!

  61. This years holiday madness is brought to you by 12 years since my dear James passed, 10 years since my heart Fallcon passed (2 years and one week apart. Fal died on xmas morning), 8 years since my beloved TheEngineer and I married, and 6 years since we got our sweetly annoying fuzzybutt Shadow. She’s 11 now!

    My house is nowhere near ready enough, but Friday my daughter, her sweetie, my granddaughter, my son, and his fiancée will all be here. The house will be filled nigh on to bursting, there will be food and wine and laughter, presents and a giggly 4 year old. Life goes on and keeps improving!

  62. Christmas is usually my time, not this year. Fighting some crippling depression this year. Just dealing with too many things. Just had a pacemaker / defibrillator implanted and I’m only 46, missing my daughter who is in NY, and feeling stereotypically sick and tired of being sick and tired and useless. I’m not used to not working, even though I’ve been unable to work since the spring, just hate not being able to do anything to help take care of my family. But I did do Christmas cookies and put up the tree with my 14 year old son, gotta put on the happy face for him so I don’t ruin Christmas too. He’s been so amazing. Helpful, taking care of me, “yelling” at me when I try to do too much, cooking, cleaning. So lucky to have an awesome young man like him.This will pass I know. Just hard to remember sometimes lately.

  65. I just got done with my Christmas shopping tonight. I did all my 11 year old daughter’s shopping with my daughter standing next to me. Every gift I picked up I said “If I get you this one, do I have to wrap it.” Thankfully she’s very understanding and she said “no”.

  67. Just going to vent to a community who will understand. Last year I had a huge depression/ anxiety/panic attack and up and quit my job. It was the worst decision. I made a lot of money and I was good at it. Fast forward a year later and I never regained composure. And like you- I looked at the calendar and cried. My kids won’t be having the same Christmas they show you on every damn cartoon and holiday movie. It’s all my fault. And there is no time to fake it. Too fat to be a stripper for 3 nights. I don’t enjoy blowjobs so that’s out … so I sit here wallowing. There is no Santa. Sorry kids. You may now return to your previous broadcast.

    (Check your email you used here. I sent you something. ~ Jenny)

  68. My husband’s and my present for Christmas is an extra butthole. We went to the emergency room this past Sunday because he had a non-erupted abscess in his butt. After a 6 hour wait and a c/t scan he had a bunch of shit up in there including gangrene. So one surgery so far and a bunch of strangers messing around with his business, he has a very large extra butthole Looks like Christmas will be spent at the hospital for him and me. And I really don’t give a shit because my wonderful husband’s life and health are the best Christmas present I can ever get. Everyone else can suck it. Except my 2 year old nephew. He’s getting a fucking awesome present. Thank whoever the fuck that I shopped early for him.

  69. My family once had Thanksgiving dinner in a bowling alley (that had just shut down their grill) in Kalamazoo, Michigan. Most memorable Thanksgiving ever, so winding up at a convenience store for Christmas dinner may not be all bad!

  71. Too much pressure! Maybe if we have really boring Christmases for our kids their expectations will be low enough that they won’t feel this much pressure when they are adults. See! We’re doing it for the children! You’re welcome. 😉

  72. My husband’s dad died last July, my dad died last August, we put my mom in a home this September, and my husband had his kidney removed and was diagnosed with an uncommon form of kidney cancer this October. We’re currently investigating clinical trial opportunities and have an appointment 3 days before Christmas. We’re on year 2 of 2 consecutive sucky years and even suckier holidays. Can we please have a delayed Christmas so I can get myself and my head together first before wading into Christmas festivities? Not sure I’m up for merriment right now.

  73. I am on a personal crusade to educate well intentioned people NOT TO ASK THE QUESTION, “Are you ready for Christmas?”. This question only strikes fear and self doubt in the heart of most people. How about ” how are your holiday preparations coming along?”. Or “how are you enjoying the holidays?”

    I have begun to lie. November 26? “Yes, I am 100% ready, you?????”.

  74. I am thankful for the fact that the theater here shows die hard and delivers Chinese food to your seat if it weren’t for that we would have no plans. But I still suck as a person as I forgot to mail my friends birthday present(her birthday is Christmas and always gets forgotten so I make a point to remember but this year I forgot so I suck)

  75. Anonymous comment #69, next time you’re stuck in Kalamazoo, Michigan on Christmas and want food here’s where you go. The Blue Dolphin on Burdick near Bronson hospital serves prime rib, ham, and turkey that day. All you can eat and free to boot. It’s where I’ll be on Sunday because I’m soooooo not cooking

  76. As a confirmed tree hugger, I absolutely cannot live in a home with a dead tree in it so my mom’s little fibre optic tree pops out of its box every year in a matter of seconds and sweetly reminds me how close we were and how much we loved each other. A few years ago I stopped giving Christmas gifts because people expected me to and I now give my money to various charities only; during the rest of the year I buy gifts for loved ones for no occasion, for a surprise, “because you’re wonderful”, “because I love you”, or just because it’s Tuesday (or any other day of the week). This is my stress-free Christmas: no shopping whatsoever, enjoying the carols, the lights, the snow, the sappy TV Christmas movies, eating delicious food, seeing and talking to friends, and entering the new year with absolutely no debt. Merry Christmas to you and your family, Jenny, and may 2017 shine brightly upon you… but not so brightly that it freaks you out. <3

  77. i’m canceling christmas this year. i just can’t do it. i’m planning on staying in bed and watching disney movies. anything more than that is simply too hard.

  78. We didn’t bother to put up a tree this year either. I can’t get it down from the attic by myself and Husband has been swamped with work (yay Retail! Boo.) and has been either too busy or too tired to get it down. We also have two 8 month old kittens who I”m pretty sure don’t have four whole braincells between them. Plus I’m battling depression right now and I just..it just seems like way too much work to put up a Christmas tree.

  79. Merry Christmas Jenny! I did all of my shopping from my couch Sunday because that is exactly how much energy I have for Christmas this year. It’s an Amazon Prime kind of Christmas this year. Also, my Mom sprained her thumb falling today so Dad has taken it upon himself to make Christmas dinner. He called to ask me to pick up a pumpkin pie at Costco (the one thing he can’t do) and my response was “You want me to go to Costco THIS WEEK?!? Right before Christmas?!? Where ALL the people are?!? and then I realized I’m 44 and not 14 and should probably go get my Dad a damn pie.

  80. It snuck up on me too. Amazon prime kinda saved my butt, I had “let’s pretend it never happened” gift wrApped and drop shipped to multiple people. Then I made bunch of caramel in the microwave (takes 6 minutes) and I felt back on top of things.

    Did you know there are Christmas crackers that come with either high end whiskey or gin in them? Instead of like a joke and a paperclip or whatever. My aunt got us some . May make this year a litter more interesting.

  81. My “Christmas ” will be spent crock potting a pot roast for my dad. You see my husband is leaving town to go have Christmas with his family. I’m not invited.
    It’s ok. It’s another day. And I’ll be with my 84 yr old dad. Our decorations are only a ceramic tree.
    I feel ya. Love the post. It helps me so much to know, we are not alone.

  82. My Christmas decorating tradition is to bring up 2/3 of the boxes from the basement, put them in a corner of the dining room, unpack and string up two strands of lights over a window, and then take the lights down in mid-February and put the boxes back in the basement. I nail this tradition every year!

  83. I love you guys. The holidays can be tough as hell with all the expectations we place on ourselves and then you add the sadness of the things and people passed that we’ll never see again. I know it won’t help everyone and it’s still something I struggle with but I can tell you one thing that’s helped me. When holidays roll around and I ache to think of someone who has passed who I’ll never see again I allow myself the hurt but then I remember that the thing they’d want more than anything is for me to remember those moments with glee and joy rather than pain, in the same way I’ll want people to remember me with laughter and happy memories when I’m gone. I reming myself that they focused on the happiness when they were alive even while desperately missing those who’d gone before them and that their happiness was contagious and what I miss so much about them. It’s hard and sometimes impossible, but it makes it easier for me to focus on the happiness in their honor even when it’s so hard. And sometimes I succeed and it gets easier.

    Regardless, I’m sending each of you love and light and I’m so lucky to call you my friends.

  84. Donte Stafford, what’s your caramel recipe?I love them but most recipes seem to take too long to make. It’s why I like my chocolate and butterscotch fudge. 10 min and it’s done

  85. Pingback: I’m not ready. – THE BLOG JOUNAL

  86. I had no idea Christmas was this Sunday. I knew it was soon. Didn’t know the day. Figured it out today so I’m furiously baking since I give cookies to the hard to shop for people on the list. So instead of 5 or 6 kinds they are getting three kinds. Chocolate chips, gingerbread, biscotti, and one more. Oh that makes 4. Cool.

  87. My shopping is done, but in a mountain of boxes. I did put the tree up and the crappy train that falls off the track and part of the Christmas Village, because I have lost the other half in my own house.

    I bought stuff to make cookies. That counts as cookies, right?

    You know the flu shot is how the zombie plague will start, right? :O

  88. I am right there with you! This year has been off. Really really off. But we will make it!

  91. My ex-stepmom’s family always celebrated Christmas on the 6th of January (epiphany, also, the 12th day of Christmas for those not familiar with the religious part of that)… I always thought it was brilliant- more time to prepare, no overlap with other people’s parties and you can get in on all the after-Christmas sales… seriously, do that this year and pretend it was intentional- I’m pretty sure it was a situation much like yours that started the tradition. 🙂

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  93. i should deck the halls to make pretty and bait/lure this damn year out the door with a shout of ‘good riddance’ (if i take the high road) and a hearty ‘fuck you’ if i go low. from breast lumps and biopsies to two dental surgeries and a california wildfire that turned everything i owned to ash (except for my copy of ‘furiously happy’ which i found under the spare tire after repairing a blow-out) – be gone 2016. go far away and take that orange creep with you.

  94. I haven’t been really ready for Christmas since 2006, and Christmas was one month and 5 days after my son was killed in an auto wreck. I try, and sometimes try really hard. I have a baby grandson this year, one year old, so I’ve thought of trying harder. But I don’t know where the tree and the ornaments are. I found the Christmas stocking, but one of them has my son’s name on it, so I don’t know if I can get them out. I just don’t know how to like Christmas. Or Thanksgiving. Or any other holiday. I do try to make it nice in many ways, because I have 3 other children, and my mom, and brother and sisters. But it’s just very hard.

  95. I kinda knew it was this coming weekend but have been leaning on the side of denial. The tree is up, nothing else is done. I have never been so ill prepared and i don’t really care. I will buy gift cards on Thursday unless I just give people cash. That’s an option too. And nobody is getting dozens of home baked goodies this year. If we all eat hot dogs at the gas station this year it will still be okay. We are still the lucky ones. Thank you for reinforcing that message. You are terrific.

  96. I am with you, a few days ago I thought I still had two weeks left and was feeling really proud of the progress I was making with my gifts. The next day I was told Christmas was only 8 days away. This of course made me shut down for two days from anxiety, and now I think I might pull an all night er because I am making my gifts.
    Oh and my parents who are hosting this weekend might be in the same boat because today my mom told me we would be having Christmas dinner in a bar.

  98. The best burritos in this town are from the gas station! They’re really good! Made fresh and hot, right before they’re served. Yum! – I think I need a chile relleno burrito; I’ll go get one tomorrow.

    But they’ll be closed on Christmas Day. It’s OK, I’ll be playing music in church until noon-ish, and mi esposa will no doubt have prepared something delicious for Christmas dinner.

    The thing about being a musician, especially a church musician, is that Christmas comes as no surprise. We’ve been looking at Christmas music since July, and practicing it since September. I’ve been doing harp gigs since Thanksgiving, playing for Christmas parties and the like.

    So, I’m kind of looking forward to after-Christmas with a mixture of relief and satisfaction.

    For now, the presents from us to us are wrapped and under the tree, the stocking-stuffers are ready to be stocking-stuffed, and the guest room is free of instrument cases and ready for a too-brief visit from our younger son. (The older one is way too busy this time of year; newly married, in school, and working retail. We’ll see them in February.)

    I do, sometimes, get the seasonal “blues” – not, I think, a diagnosable condition like full-blown SAD or anything, but a blah, gray-day-without-sun feeling. So I’m ready to celebrate the coming of Light into the world.

    To you, dear Jenny, and to anyone else reading this, and to you (yes, YOU) who are not reading this: I wish you joy and light. (Someone please tell those people who are not reading this.)

  100. Thank you, Jenny. I know why I turn to your blog when I’m feeling down, because this is such a wonderful community you have created, who totally understand what we all struggle with every day. Merry Christmas to you, your family, and your tribe.

  101. I’m totally ready for Christmas.
    By which I mean, I’m ready for it to be over.

    I’m trying to start a freelance business while working part-time, so I’m not spending a lot of money on gifts, cards, decorations, or travel this year. I’m single, childless, with no siblings, and with divorced-and-repartnered parents, so I don’t get much out of family gatherings. Really, the only reason I go to any Christmas get-togethers is because I don’t want to hear people freak out or get all sympathetic when they ask what I do for Christmas and I say “Nothing.” (And also to spend time with my dad while I still can.) I’m stressed out enough over relationships, career, and finances, and 2016 has been such an epically crappy year for so many people (and I know I’ve had it better than others), that I’m already limping defeatedly into 2017. Actually, it’s more like I’m a cat on a leash, being dragged into 2017.

  102. Seriously!! Christmas is this weekend? My 15 yo daughter has been hospitalized for a month with depression. I’m not sure what’s going to happen in Christmas, I’m feeling helpless and hopeless

  103. I’m not ready either. We don’t have our tree up. Presents are not wrapped. To my credit I fell on the ice two weeks ago and tweaked my knee and still can’t walk right but still. I feel like crap for being such a slacker. Spent all day on the phone fighting with insurance about getting in to look at my knee, the vet trying to keep my dog alive at least through Christmas, and Barnes and noble fighting over a rental textbook they claim I damaged and have now charged me full price for. None of that makes me want to celebrate Christmas this year. Honestly since my dad died two years ago I could skip Christmas for all I care. My nickname around the office is the grinch. I’m not sure being an adult is all it’s cracked up to be.

  104. I love you. This is literally my first ever online comment. But I had to tell you that in the sea of shit that is the internet against moms I love love love you. Thank you for making me feel like a person again. Oh god I have a kid’s birthday to celebrate tomorrow and then Christmas. Oh god I just need it to end.

  105. My dad was diagnosed with cancer 3 days ago. I am going to hold every hug a little longer and love with all my fucking might on Christmas Day, and every day. All the best everybody!

  106. I’m kinda scared for Christmas to come. It means tons of wrapping paper in piles on the floor. Screaming, frenzy and glee. Being tired and lonely while I’m surrounded by my family. I’m done with Christmas. Anyone with me?

  107. Jenny, join the MOTs and see a movie and have Chinese food (or Jack in the Box — sometimes the Chinese restaurants aren’t open around here). The 25th is also the first day of Hanukkah, so there may be donuts involved too.

    P.S. The memories of playing trains with my father beats ANY holiday fancy-schmantzy-ness!!!

  108. THANK YOU!!! Now I don’t feel quite so alone in my extreme NOT-READY-NESS. Our tree isn’t up yet, either. But I brought the box in from the storage house. Baby steps? (Mostly, I spent today reading).

  110. I’m an only child and lost my parents in 2011 and 2012. Christmas hasn’t been the same since (no family left on Mom’s side and relatively few on Dad’s and we’re not Christmas get-together – or any other time of the year really – close). But I buy gifts for friends and the neighbor’s kids and grandkids. She asked if I was done shopping yesterday and I breezily replied “It’s good, I’ll get it done this weekend or the first part of next week.” Silence. “Have you looked at a calendar in the last few days?” “Sure, why?” “Christmas is this weekend.” OMFG. So now I’m trying to stay calm, breathe through the panic contractions, and work out a way to get things bought in the next three days. And work two jobs. On the flip side, between the panic and the work and the gift purchase panic strategizing, it doesn’t leave much time (blessedly!) for the horrible melancholy I have every Thanksgiving and Christmas. I always urge everyone/anyone who has family, especially parents, that they are even remotely close to – please cherish your time at Christmas with family. All jokes aside, it’s very, very hard not to have family and the closeness and the traditions. Trust me on this one – you really will miss that when it’s gone. Here’s to hoping for a better and brighter 2017 for all of us!

  111. Don’t feel bad. I just attempted to make a cinnamon loaf for my daughters teacher because her last day before break is TOMORROW. Hopefully it tastes better rhan it looks because it’s tied up festively and there is no going back now.

  112. I used to bake hundreds of dozens of cookies, miniature fruit/nut breads, all wrapped in pretty cellophane, send out about 75 Christmas cards, each with individual messages, decorate the house, find and decorate the perfect tree , pick out presents for o e and all, and fix Christmas dinner for family and friends. I also was deathly ill every year between Thanksgiving and New Years, requiring numerous trips to the doctor and several expensive antibiotics. I quit doing all of that, I buy and wrap presents for the little kids, everyone else gets a gift card, we go to the movies on Christmas day, eat pizza or Chinese for dinner, and I haven’t been sick in 10 years. So go for it, Jenny Make your own tradition. You’ll be happier and healthier.

  113. I love you. I was just venting. In a safe place. I ….. love you. ( in a non sexual harrassing way of course)

  114. My grandmother once said that she wished Christmas was every 4 years, like the Olympics. As a child, all I could think was, “Blasphemy!!! I only get presents every 4th year?!? No Fucking Way!!!” (I didn’t actually say that in front of her). As an adult, I’m like — FUCK YEAH — xmas every 4 years; sounds perfect!! Go big and go home.

  115. We are in the middle of a kitchen remodel which means we can’t cook, and hte rest of our house is totally ripped apart anyway. We’ve done NOTHING. No tree, no nothing, because chaos. :\

  116. My wreath is still in the basement. No tree, cats. I shopped for myself so no wrapping. Missed neighbor’s holiday party because panic. Alone for 5th Christmas in a row, all family in FL and I’m working, so I will be binge watching the Divergent series. Whatever works folks!

  117. We had Chinese food last year for Christmas, and it was awesome. This year, my mother is cooking, and we’re having lamb, and that’s going to be awesome. My husband and I seriously JUST opened the Star Wars Lego Advent Calendar TONIGHT and put together all the little dudes and machines and things up to tonight. That’s how behind we are.

  120. I’m right with you. I baked an insane amount of cookies from a prepackaged, dry mixesj.(Just add egg, butter. water, blood, sweat and tears and it completely drained me). I’m going to visit my son, so that’s the carrot at the end of the stick that is keeping me motivated. We’re bringing a faux, tabletop tree and stockings. I hijacked one of the cardboard boxes we turned into a cat bed to transport the mound of presents I wrapped in a non chemically induced blackout. All the fun of an assembly line without the joy of shoveling chocolates in my mouth from an out of control conveyor belt. Our Christmas has kind of been on hold, until we get to our destination this Friday. I hope yours is a good one.

  121. Ohhh thank god it’s not just me. I mean my Christmas shopping was done but only because I did it by accident in August and yes by accident. I was thinking today that I have over a week to wrap stuff and was very kindly reminded Christmas is this weekend but then their like how the hell do you not know when Christmas is and I’m like hello I’m the person who got in an argument with you when you wished me happy birthday and “thank you that’s very nice but it’s not my birthday” we argued for 10 minutes and I was wrong. I mean lady I forgot my own birthday what makes you think I’d remember Christmas. She just looked at me and said you have a point. Ps I blam Victor for both of us forgetting. I know I don’t technically know him but I really think it’s his fault but I won’t tell him he should have gotten a flu shot earlier because I’m nice like that and I don’t have his phone number. Good luck everyone with Christmas

  122. I am glad (but also sorry) to not be alone in this. Last night I realized I had not sent out any cards. I paired the list down to our closest friends. Then I got tired and paired it down to my mother in law and my dad.

    Our tree is up, but that’s only because I decided years ago not to take it down. The cat likes it.

    Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!

  123. We’ve had our tree up since the first week of November. Decorated both inside and outside the house. I have all gifts wrapped. Sounds like I’m right on track. But my mind isn’t. I still feel like there are like three more weeks until Christmas. It felt like it was taking forever to get here, and now it feels way too fast.

  124. It doesn’t even feel like christmas is on its way but anyways I feel your pain Jenny. I haven’t even gotten any christmas presents and I also forget what day it is every single day (haha).

  125. Jenny I just read the little update you wrote. Thank you so much sense my mom died in 98 nothing’s ever been the same and I miss her ever day with a deep ache. She was my best friend and my only home. Reading what you wrote reminds me that she would want me to be happy and enjoy the holidays. Thank you Jenny you really are an angel, a crazy confused wonderful angel. Thank you

  126. If you had a job in retail you would know when Christmas was. The closer it gets the more people get rude and crazy and stupid.

  127. If it’s any consolation we also don’t have our tree up. Our Billy goat broke my tibia just before Thanksgiving soI had to have surgery and get a plate screwed in. Needless to say there has been no cookie baking. I’m pretty sure this will be a Christmas to remember- one to go along with the -20F temps and no heat the week between Christmas and New Year 2 years ago. We have each other and that’s enough. Get well to Victor, and enjoy the hell out of that train <3

  129. In our house the only thing ‘ready’ for Christmas is the ‘oven ready’ turkey. Christmas is one day that will come and go like any other. (Sort of reminds me of marriage v weddings, people make a big fuss about making one perfect day and don’t worry about how the rest of the time will go, which is ridiculous when you think about it). You make Christmas happen for others, you make other times special and get the joy from that, you’ve already scored enough Christmas points for the year.

  130. You sound an awful lot like me every year. This year’s Xmas budget is going to the vet on Friday for x-rays and meds for my smallest mini who has Cushing’s disease. Sorry everyone, but no new halters this year. At least I already bought our movie tickets and the kids already got their gifts they ordered. (We don’t like to wait.,..besides the kids are adults now anyways) just enjoy the time you spend with loved ones on Xmas and it’ll be perfect. That’s the most important part.

  131. I needed this. I’m sitting in the dark crying and wracked with a horrible cough that is probably bronchitis and Christmas is just going to have to come and go. I’ve done the best I can and I have to concede that 2016 sucked donkey ass. 💜💚

  132. I am spending my Christmas weekend working in a nursing home. Its going to be both the best and most depressing weekend ever. I will do my best to help all my people have a good day even though most of them will get no presents (other than the small things we buy them), they will have no company and they will have gotten no cards. I love my job but damned if the holidays don’t just suck.
    If you have a nursing home in your area and you are alone for Christmas, try visiting some of the people there, just go in and say hi to someone and wish them happy holidays. You might just be surprised at how much better you end up feeling about your life.

  133. I also wanted to say that I’ve read a lot of the comments here and I send love and hugs to you all. This forum is a wonderful place to share.

  134. When my kids were young we aways did the decorations on Christmas Eve. The kids did them with my husband while I made trifle, mince pies etc in the kitchen. It made Christmas a proper event instead of starting it in November. Go for it!

  136. We got our tree the day after Thanksgiving and now it’s super dead and shedding needles all over the presents so yeah, being prepared isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

  137. Thank you Jenny. I have no holiday spirit this year and we have no decorations. I feel bad for disappointing the college kid. But between worsening depression and my mother I just can’t.

  139. Also not ready — I thought it was Monday because that’s when I have off work so I thought I had two weekend days to prepare but I found out yesterday that it’s Sunday and I only have one day to get shit done, so half of the shit is not getting done. And Christmas will come just the same (Thanks Dr. Seuss.)

  140. I work in retail, so the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas is, like, five minutes. I haven’t even thought about Christmas decorations this year,. One more week…

  141. I gave up on Christmas trees the year my 14 year old and I trudged through the local cutyerown farm for hours looking for the perfect one which we tagged in dry, warmish – freakishly so – November that year, committed to returning and lopping it off. Forward to the first weekend in December that year after a billion hellish freezing rains and snow up to a Yeti’s ass. We got the sucker out of the field and shaken soundly on the “shake out all the dried needles, squirrel shit and bird bookie” machine and then strapped the frozen fir to the truck and home we came. Still tightly bound in it’s keep it slender triangle net, we brought it into the house and placed it in the stand. Where once the indoor air began to warm it, the tree proceeded to spread out to the size of the tree in Rockefeller Center and drip countless gallons of water into the carpet before we realized what was happening. Several shop vacs loads of water later we had a very festive blue tarp strategically placed at the base of the tree and ready to celebrate. A lovely Christmas that year, then came the day to lovingly place all the ornaments back in their cotton batting boxes and take the tree into the yard to festoon with treats for our feathered and furry friends in the yard for the remainder of the winter. Needless to say, the going out the door was no longer the easy journey the wrapped and solidly frozen trip in was. One broken door window and bent hinge, a gazillion “fucks” and a weeping child, “I just wanted a ‘real tree’ this once, I am sorry” we had it wrestled into the yard. The next festive season found us stringing our lights and ornaments from window across the room to window. Eventually growing so lazy that the lights are no longer Christmas lights, they are “decorative twinkle lights” because we stopped taking them down. Now all I need do is get out the ornament and hang them on the light strings above the dining room. The cats are still pissed about this development, but I have never had to rant and rave about the sonofabitchingmfingdouchebagasswipe tree again. Have a glorious holiday and know all of you out there in my weird wide world, you are NEVER alone!
    Thanks, Jenny for letting us come here and be together in our journey through the bullshit!

  142. Pingback: I’m not ready. | latestonlinetrending

  143. I managed to blag the days between Christmas and New Year off this time – but I’m working right up to the weekend, and will be off across the country for the first three weeks of January, so I guess there is a strange sort of balance to it all.

  144. You are not alone, I did wake up this morning and realize it is the Winter Solstice so YAY. More daylight starting tomorrow.

  145. Thank you! It’s the only time of year I dread the most, and the only time of year that I decorate BIG TIME for. And yet, every time, I’m somehow shocked it’s crept on me again! I’m broke, stressed and hunting Pinterest for ideas at the lastl minute that I assure myself I will start early on this year, for next. Ha! Happy Solstice! Thanks for sharing the normalcy!

  148. I’m soooooo ready for Christmas to be over. It’s been Christmas time for a month already!!

  149. I feel a little the same way. I got my cards and holiday candy making done in November because I had one package that I needed to mail to the west coast, but the only Christmas decorations that I have put up are cards that I am receiving and some ribbons that I taped to two non-decorative squashes I plan to eat sometime this winter. I am trying to get a little more in the mood by listening to Pentatonix Christmas carols at work.

  150. I’m also not ready. Friday night I am supposed to host our small group of friends for our annual Christmas party. They don’t know it yet but they will be dining on pigs in a blanket and frozen pizza. I don’t want to celebrate this year. I just want to go on our D.C. trip the week after and pretend Christmas never happened.

  151. Totally understand where your are coming from (and heading). Every year I hope to put up some really nice decorations and wrap my presents like Martha freaking Stewart. But those beautiful decorations will remain in their boxes yet another year, and I will be wrapping my presents in tin foil because I can’t be bothered to find the tape and scissors. Add to that the awful job of scrambling to find a cheap minivan to haul my brood of daughters around in because my current one decided to die four days before Christmas, and I find that my “meh, humbug” mood has become even more un-Christmas-like than previously thought to be humanly possible. Gas station hot dogs for dinner it is.

  152. I feel you. My husband picked up a mini tree and slapped a string of lights on it, but that’s all we cared to do this year. Thankfully this is my first Christmas with zero obligations, so for the first time since I can remember, I am not filled with anxiety-inducing dread. No gifts to buy since all the youngsters in the family prefer cash, and no family gatherings because I work graveyard and everyone assumes I sleep all day (which is mostly true). My plan is to make pie and watch Gremlins with my hubby. BLISS!

  153. This literally just happened to me at the start of this week. I was making a list (checking it twice) and feeling overwhelmed I only had one more weekend to get everything done when I realized I didn’t and panic ensued. Thanks for reminding me it will be okay no matter what happens.

  154. I am still not ready and I gave up on putting up a tree years ago. I have been making homemade gifts for months which have stressed me out, but I really love giving homemade gifts. I may rethink that next year. I will spend Christmas day watching my favorite Christmas movie…Nightmare Before Christmas and eating all the extra fudge I made….jen

  156. I got lots of food basics and gift cards from one of the local grocery stores and took it all to a local support agency because this year has been such a disaster and the future’s not looking good either and doing this for others who are less fortunate, or even more fortunate, is the only thing that makes me feel worthwhile, or anything at all really. I can’t keep the holidays from coming, but I can do my best to ignore them.

  157. I haven’t even taken the boxes of Christmas decorations out of storage, mainly because my divorce judgment just came in the mail and I’ll have to sort out “my” stuff from “his” stuff and I just don’t have the energy. It’s going to be a non-decoration holiday this year. Just. Can’t.

  158. you are my hero, jenny

    for several years i had low paying job. at christmas everyone gave me presents, feeling sorry for the crazy old guy that lives alone, most were useless things i did not want or need,which required a gift in return. paid for with money needed for truck payments and other luxurys like grocerys, utilitys,rent, ect.
    i asked everyone to please spend whatever that they were planning on spending for my gift on themselves, that way i could save enough to barely get by.
    but no one did, the junk kept rolling in, and requireing more expense on my part, to buy gifts in return.
    one year i hit on a brilliant idea.
    i warned everyone in advance that i had found a supply of live rabbits, and that would be my gift that year.
    no one believed me, but when i gave each one their bunny,when they gave me something, they were informed that it was a female. not just any female, the most popular floozy in the bunch.
    there was quite a lot of rapid regifting of bunnys that year.
    i was suscessful at breaking the gift cycle.now i only have to buy for 1 person, a neighbor who loves bunnys and gives me the stupidest, most worthless thing he can find. and i give him something just as tacky.

    sorry for long comment, first time i left comment, have been reading your blog for long time, you have helped me more than you will ever kno

  159. Boss put out our schedule with the Christmas week missing.
    Best schedule ever.
    I thought we were done for .058 seconds.
    Best .058 seconds this year.

  160. Happy winter solstice! The days are going to start getting a tiny bit longer. There is hope, even when it is hard to see or feel.

    If TV has taught us nothing else, it has taught us – as Jenny pointed out – as long as you force everyone to stand around in a circle and sing, “Wah-ho glory, wah-ho glory” [I may have the words wrong so you can hum loudly instead] the spirit of love for anyone we’ve ever cared for can still find a spot in our heart. – Sorry Victor, you’re going to have to prop yourself up long enough for the humming of the mindless yet meaningful seasonal song that reminds people that love and hope are what matter.

  162. Christmas, it came. It came just the same.

    I am holding on with all my might to the fact that Monday this madness will be all over.

  163. Christmas comes when it comes. Doesn’t have to be on the 25th. Your family knows you’re you by now and loves you not just anyway but because of it.

  164. LOL! I don’t “tree”, I don’t shop, I don’t decorate. I am free and happy! I also don’t have tv, so I don’t have to listen to ENDLESS shitty xmas commercials. YAY!

  165. I actually put my tree up this year and somehow ended up with a herniated disk (including the worst pain I have ever known and losing most of the feeling in my leg). So, admittedly not really a christmas tree advocate right now.

    Take it easy, put up a wreath or garland (or tree if feeling brave/not likely to kill your back) or say screw it and toss a couple ornaments in a pile (or vase if feeling fancy). As long as you’re with the creatures you love (no people here but labradors), isn’t that kind of the point? (Also maybe playing with cool toys like a roomba since trying to push a vacuum is near to impossible….)

    Hoping everyone has a Merry Christmas or Happy Holiday of their observing (or at least a stiff drink or decadent dessert to celebrate).

  166. I bought sugar cookie dough mix this year because the short people in my house were complaining that we didn’t have any Christmas cookies. I made it and set it to chill overnight in the fridge, and that’s where it has sat for three days… chilling… because I am so not chillin’ and have way too much to do. Enjoy your raw cookie dough slab, kids!

  167. I shopped online, last item arrived today! Whew. For two nieces I found a treasure trove of preloved schleich fairies and dragons. I’m giving them a basket each and a treasure map. Annual schleich hunt, here we come (plus I get to play with them & hide them in the garden- and maybe pretend I’m the mother of dragons when no-ones looking). So, Christmas is okay…but I just washed my clothes for the third time in a row because I keep forgetting I did them & they go a little fusty if you don’t get them out. At this rate I’ll have presents, but will be the naked Aunty. Although according to Daenarys, nude goes well with dragons anyway.

    Also, my partner has extreme anxiety and has opted out of large family torture and trigger events this year. I’d like to say to you all…this is absolutely okay if you need to. People who love you understand. Christmas is not about forcing a smile or steeling yourself for hugs and niceties when your skins crawling and you can’t breathe.. Remember, God also chose to spend Christmas out back with the animals instead……

    Also, Syria. Can’t stop crying, please donate.

  168. We don’t have a tree this year…my kids were ok with that decision so I’m ok with it. I really LOVE telling people we don’t have a tree….their horrified faces give me such joy.

  169. I love Christmas beyond all reason, but I am not ready, either. Truthfully, Christmas is a day on the calendar. It’s a date that was assigned, not the real birthday of Christ, so feel free to order those Christmas crackers and celebrate when you are ready. AND technically, Christmas really is 12 days. It doesn’t end until January 6 at the celebration of Three Kings day, so you have TONS OF TIME. I’m talking to me, not you.

    Tonight, I drink all the coffee in the house and then craft until my hands fall off. Merry Christmas, whenever you celebrate.

  170. When we were kids, my mom (and me, ’cause I was cheap labor and could peel vegetables) would make a huge pot of vegetable soup (because veggies were cheap, too) either the night before or on Christmas morning and everyone would just nosh on soup throughout the day when they were hungry. Her theory was: “It’s my Christmas too, and damned if I’m going to spend it cooking!” It’s the one childhood tradition I’ve carried on—if your hungry, get yourself a bowl, the soup’s on the stove.

    To Peggy, #94 (and others who are grieving): please pull those stockings out and hang them with love and remember the good. Talk to your son, out loud, every time that stocking catches your eye. He may not be with you in the physical world, but I firmly believe he is with you, and around you—especially when you need him most.

    I am the least religious person you’ll ever meet, but I KNOW the energies of those who have passed are with us, and our energy affects them, too. It comforts me to know I still have their ear to listen, when I need them most. Please take comfort in that, too.

    Sloppy wet kisses and bone-crushing hugs to all in Jenny Land, whether you want them or not. And remember, we’re all in this together!

  171. My Dad passed away on the 6th. If it weren’t for the kids I would just skip it. I am feeling as non festive as I could possibly feel.

    On the 6th during the daytime I had created a Facebook group called Bloggess pals sort of like pen pals, because of that post you made about us meeting each other. I have to say the people in the new group I hardly know have been really amazing and supportive. So thank you for making a forum where awesome people meet up.

    To me this Christmas will be somehow making it through. It’s what I’ve got. <3

  172. i have a tree up because it never came down. having a christmas tree up all year is all kinds of festive and gives the dog permanent access to her back scratcher. the bottom branches are just the right height and she just walks around and around under there. also, the christmas lights were on the house all year because i hate ladders and it was hard enough getting them up there in the first place. so our holiday preparations this year basically involved finding and plugging in the outdoor extension cord. ho ho ho.

  173. One year, after too much champagne and punch for breakfast, the roast didn’t make it into the oven until noon. My husband, brother-in-law, and father were starving, so my husband hit up 7 Eleven for taquitos, hot dogs, and dried-up burgers in little foil bags. SIGH

  174. It’s pretty shocking, I know. I don’t have room for a tree, plus it would be a fire hazard with the wood stove in the middle of the room and dogs that like to run through the house 90 miles an hour knocking things over. I did buy a really cute handmade, velvet and jingle-bell advent calender, at a thrift store last week. I cut a nice stick to use as a hanger for it, and hung it up in my living room. I think that will have to do.

  176. The Christmas dinner I remember the most was the year my grandparents called late Christmas morning said they were flying in to visit on the next day. Mom put everything away and we had frozen pizza and played my new Bionic Woman board game. I have a vague recollection of dinner the next night but will always fondly remember pizza Christmas. Sometimes it’s the deviations that are special. Merry Christmas. I bet you can get good gas station Mexican in Texas. Please pass the tamales.

  178. Just go to a Chinese buffet. That’s what we’re doing, because it’s just two of us, and no family is doing anything. We also don’t have a tree (just moved two weeks ago, 0/10 DO NOT RECOMMEND moving during holidays.) and we already gave each other our gifts. Oh well, we tried.

  180. I guess I don’t need to worry about sending out my presents next week so they get there on time for Christmas. Honestly dreading this Christmas because it’s just another holiday that’s lonely and depressing. Also, I’m feeling sorry for myself.

  181. So this year my twin daughters both graduated from college on December 17th. Different colleges, same day. The schools are two hours apart. We made plans to split the family up so that each had a representation at their ceremony. Then came the 3 inch sleet storm. Both ceremonies were delayed which meant that we could now attend both. Yay! After rearranging everything and everyone for the umpteenth time, my brother decided not go. Somehow we had to arrange to leave the early one and pick up my 86 year old father so he could attend one of the services. Mind you, I’d also prepped a huge party afterwards that was now cancelled. 12 pounds of brisket and countless other party food later, I had to call everyone and tell them not to come and explain ad infinitum what was going on. On top of this, we had Christmas a WEEK EARLY because family was in town. I just had knee surgery and my husband is going through cyber knife radiation treatments. When the actual Christmas day arrives, I am burrowing under blankets and watching Hallmark movies where everything turns out fine all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I have my family and we celebrated an amazing milestone. I’m just tired. Oh, and I’m putting out the Do Not Disturb sign. I am not responsible for anything that happens if someone buys me a last minute useless gift just cause it’s Christmas and they feel obligated. Thank God for party food – I now don’t have to cook this week!

  182. My family actually had Christmas dinner in a gas station subway restaurant last year. We all live out of town and met in Beaumont Texas at my grandfather’s assisted living facility. Needless to say he had not prepared dinner. There we no restaurants, fast food or otherwise, open near so we stopped at the gas station and ate. At least we were together.

  184. I asked my husband if he’d thought it might be ok to reschedule Christmas for Tuesday when everything is on sale?

  185. Post a picture of the train, please. With or without a tree. I haven’t done a traditional tree in a couple years. I put up a ceramic tree with pug dogs crawling all over it. Very unique. (Of course I have a Great Dane, not a pug, but meh). And this year I put up an elaborate Lego Christmas village. That made me happier than putting up a tree.

  186. It was a tough year here for us, 2016 hit us very close to home – twice – so I do feel a little like we are going through the motions. Tree is up, shopping is done, but nothing is wrapped yet even though I promised myself I’d keep on top of it, our tree skirt still needs washing and drying thanks to King Fuzzypants’ hairy gifts all over it. Thankfully, our Christmas goings-on mostly take place elsewhere this year. Lol

  187. I am the daughter of a truck driver and if that taught me anything it is this: holidays are when you can have them. The calendar does not dictate what day you will be festive. Need to do Christmas on the 27th? Fine. Want to have a 4th of July party in February? Go for it. When we were really young, we didn’t know the difference. Now that I’m older and I have embraced my amazing OCD and anxiety, I appreciate that I learned this lesson before my brain fully developed.

  188. I’m normally a little behind on Christmas, but this year my bad back and breathing issues decided to flare up. Himself has a cold. The weather is mostly dreary. And the whole state of the planet has both of us in a state of major depression.

    Can we just give up and take a pass this year?

  189. So – I’m wingin’ it too. And yes, yikes – it is this weekend. Without Mom it is sneaking up me this year and add to that I have been dreading it since May – I want it to just pass and go away. But – as most of us with depression do – we make it through for everyone around us. Prescribed by a DR – Drugs help.

  190. I never even took down the tree last year. It’s in a room that’s not being used at the moment, so I just closed the blinds and left it, so this year all I had to do was open the blinds and plug it in. Which, really, was all I had the energy for.

  191. Lots of people seem to be having a less-than-regular-Christmas, including me. I wish it was just the usual “I really hate having to do all these awkward, obligatory things at this time of the year” but it’s more than that. 2016 sucked SO BAD. So much crazy, wonderful talent leaving this planet, and, of course the monster that swallowed Washington DC. It straight up sucked the goodness out of everything else and I’ve not regained the strength yet to just plow through it. I think I might be this way for the next four years.

  192. Lady, I just want to thank you for making me smile this year w/ your righteous posts. You’ve helped make this year a delightful one w/ delicious reads and FOR THAT, I thank you.

  193. Idea: declare yourselves Jewish for the year! In the 2017 spirit of tolerance and inclusion! Your own personal study of world religions! Think of this: no need to put up the tree. Train is non-denominational, so all aboard. At holiday parties: oh, well, we were going to do the traditional Christmas, but instead this year we opted for something more modest and intellectual. HAHAHAHA! Order eight items off of Amazon Prime (traditional crappy hanukkah gifts: chocolate coins called gelt. Underwear. Socks.) and give them out one night at a time. Each its own absurd surprise!
    Pro tip: CHRISTMAS DINNER = CHINESE RESTAURANT. Bonus round: A POST DINNER MOVIE. Always open Christmas evening.
    HAPPY HANUKKAH TO YOU AND YOURS!!!

  195. I have just stopped doing Xmas, which is easy because we have no children (or grandchildren) to amuse. I do not need the stress. And husband doesn’t care as long as he can sleep all day. I can let him do that. I am grateful for the solstice coming and going, though.

  196. I’m with team Bloggess! This year I am working at my new job with a wonderful, cancer-attacking startup, and away from home until the 22nd. I bought a few things before I left and I bought some stuff here, so I paid to FedEx a box of presents wrapped in dirty laundry home because I don’t have room in my suitcase any more. Before I left home 2 weeks ago, I did a Queen (the royalty not the band) wave at my husband and said, “Let there be a tree and decorations all nice in the house when I get back.” We’ll see how that works. Luckily my 24 year old son and 27 year old daughter will be around to not help. I’m planning to travel to Movieland, find Willy Wonka, and get a family’s worth of those chewing gum meals, and then play that neat traditional Christmas game of “Let’s all be giant blueberries and roll around the house.”

  197. I tried to tell my mom we may not make it on Christmas cause Victor has the flu.
    Her response: Who’s Victor?

  198. 40+ people coming for dinner Saturday. I have not been to the grocery store, my whole house is covered in dog hair, and not one Christmas decoration has been pulled from the attic. I figure I’ll start drinking this evening and it all will work itself out…although I do have to work tomorrow…

  199. I lost both my mother and my grandmother this year.
    Our tree’s up but only because I felt guilty and my 4.5yo decorated it.
    We’ll be okay. We’ll get through it. I’m grateful for the grief I feel because it helps me know that my love for them was real…but I also have hope that my mother is free for the first time (she struggled with mental illness my whole life) and that makes me weep with relief for her.

  200. Is it just me or has this year been on speed dial? When the hell did it become Dec. 21st?????
    Hope Victor feels better and get his damn flu shot!

  201. Just thought maybe my cat cave has arrived and is in one of these unopened packages. What is wrong with me, anyway?

  202. I’m not ready either but thanks to my amazing husband the tree is up. The kids are teasing me about getting clean clothes for Christmas because that’s where all my laundry to be folded is living at the moment under the tree.

  203. I’ve been thinking all month, oh yeah I need to decorate… then yesterday I was like oh it’s too late to do that now. So I’m wearing Christmas leggings to work today and calling it decorated. 🙂

  204. Ugh, I know! I only just got my tree up 2 days ago. Not ready for people to come over, and totally in denial that it’s this weekend. All I want for Christmas is some peace and quiet….

  205. You’ve inspired me.

    Twas the week before Christmas
    Once again at Chez Dingii
    The tree is assembled
    Thanks to Kate who is bling-ii.

    No presents are wrapped,
    Nor even yet purchased,
    Cuz Christmas sneaks up!
    Like zombies, it lurches.

    Not sure why this date
    Each year it doth creep.
    It’s not like it changes,
    Like Easter with Peeps.

    So to friends and to family
    My ‘pology I send
    We’ll extend this gift season
    To January, again.

    nice round of snaps

  206. We have a kitten. One spawned in hell and then painted adorable so we wouldn’t know she was an evil succubus. So I don’t a have a real tree. I have two 3.5 foot tall fake ones, pre-lit with 11 lights spread between both and decorations that are twisted on with heavy duty wire so the succubus can’t get them off. The Viking suggested we should try these before we trust her with a NICE TREE! Thankfully, we are going to my daughter Mim’s house for Christmas and I can enjoy all the prettiness there. CATS!

    PS: I love her. Evil and everything.

  207. I had a similar reaction a couple of days ago. Now I have a terrible head cold and Vertigo, so if it hadn’t already been done, it ain’t gonna happen, and that is a-okay. We’ll be together, my daughter is recovering nicely from her surgery, my cold is just a cold. We don’t have a train, but I did buy some Christmas Legos, and those are on the immediate agenda! Looking forward to a couple of days with family and friends that are like family (and using lots of hand sanitizer so I don’t infect anyone…)

  208. I only have a tree up because I never took it down last year. At least it’s in the study ( a room no one goes in). I might decorate it sometime between now and this weekend, but then again, maybe not. It’s got lights. That’s enough, right?

  209. I have bipolar and just can’t get my head around anything this year. I’ve been depressed and/or severely anxious for most of 2016. Cycled through four differents meds because they either don’t work or make me vomit. Amazon Primed xmas gifts and wrapping paper in a single manic day. They’re still in boxes on the living room floor. There are decorations somewhere -even paw-shaped stockings for the cats – but dragging a box out of a closet is too much effort. My grandfather died and this will be our first Christmas without him.

    …all of this to say that this blog and all the comments are always my lifeboat. Only place I feel okay being totally honest outside of my psychiatrist’s office. My family doesn’t even know how bad I get. I’m just really glad we’re all here.

  210. Wait. THIS weekend? ffs. Yeah, about that Christmas thing? Maybe next year. And Chinese Food. Definitely Chinese Food. I keep trying convince my husband that December 25th was made for Chinese Take-out and that’s how it should be celebrated.

  211. The Christmas after our son died, my husband declared THE END OF CHRISTMAS and it has been ever thus. I thought it was a bit selfish of him, since I am the only person in the world who witnessed our son’s first AND last breath 24 years apart and if I wanted to try to save the holiday, you’d think himself would try. But nooooo! Guys are assholes, sometimes. Often.

  212. Thank you! I’m not ready. I don’t want to be ready. I pretty much am over it. My mom passed away in June and this will be the first Christmas without her. I just can’t. Can’t get in the spirit. Can’t bother with decorations no one is going to see. Can’t deal with crowds and snow and cold to shop. But I’ll get through this weekend (I’m sure tequila is in my future) and then I can get back to just dealing and getting better.

  214. Christmas on a weekend always messes me up. Much better in the middle of the week where I have to notice and, like, pay attention.

  215. I am such an anxiety ridden mess that I have to have things done or it just bothers me to no end. And then it never turns out the way I wanted…and I end up a basket case anyway. I am always more relaxed when the holiday is over.

  216. My solution is just to avoid it completely. I strongly recommend that approach. I quit having anything to do with that holiday many years ago and have never regretted it. 🙂

  217. Artificial tree is the answer…… then one can decide to put it up at 11pm on a Thursday night…..or not. Anyway, it is always potentially available, which should count.

    Sending light and good thoughts for a restful, pleasant Christmas/Hanukkah/pagan ritual/etc for all, no matter how unlikely it sounds at this point.

  218. I’m not ready either, glad to have company 🙂 thanks, you made me smile, merrrrrry xmas from the UK!!! xxx

  220. I am never ready – I think that’s called consistent!! Wishing you a very Merry Christmas from Canada!!

  221. Dude, I’m totally in the same boat. I’ve been trying to beat back the brain weasels for the last six weeks or so and have been having real trouble knowing what day it is, let alone the actual date and its relation to other important future dates. I did manage to get a tree and hang up the three seasonal decorative items I use every year, but that’s about it.

    Plus, can I just be frank and say FUCK SUNDAY CHRISTMASES? Christmas being over a weekend is cheating and it shouldn’t be allowed.

  222. Last year I PLANNED to get wrapped gifts out in the mail to my sister, her husband and their daughter. Then the snow and ice and all around depressing weather came early (in November). I lost all energy and desire to do anything 4 them, and so I didn’t; I even missed my sister’s birthday in November…she told me she had all these things people were going to do for her so I thought she wouldn’t miss what I didn’t send…turned out none of that happened and I was just one more in a long list of people who disappointed her for her birthday–I felt like a shit.
    This year I was determined to make up for it. I bought her birthday gifts and all their xmas gifts in early October and wrapped them like I was the Mad Hatter out to win a prize (ribbons and bows and bee-bobbles clung like unwanted icicles to every inch of wrapping paper!). I mailed them in October before any hint of icy roads appeared. I FELT LIKE A SAINT! Like the world was going to send me a great big thank you for being so thoughtful and generous. Oh, yeah, it sent me a thank you. Late November the temperatures here plummeted from the 50s to below zero, not below freezing (32 degrees), but negative twos and sevens. And I started my old 1998 car up and it suddenly went, chunk, chunk, chunk. When the service department called I got the great news…$3000 just to get the one and only car my husband and I own, running again. Uh, what?!!So I came to this blog planning to moan like a whiney little bitch.
    And then I saw the James Garfield Miracle event, and read stories, and more stories, and more stories….To make a long story short. I sent $500 in gifts to people I didn’t know. Were they honest, were they greedy, I’ll never know. I’ll hope I gave to someone truly needy, but either way, I am better off, way, way, way, more better off than so many out there. Why? Because now I feel happy. Either way, I feel happy! Oh, and Karma called—one hour after sending the last Amazon gift my service department called, somehow the cost for repair went down to $2000. And then, literally, 15 mins later my sister called and said her and my Mom were going to pay a thousand towards the car cost as a combined xmas gift.
    What am I doing this christmas? No tree, no wrapped gifts, no family (they live in another state), no extra special dinner. I am staying off the icy roads, tucked into my warm house with my husband, making grilled cheese sandwiches, reading, watching TV and gaming on our PC’s (I do this to share some activity with my IT crazy husband). And I am hoping that everyone else in this,Jenny’s blog community, has at least the warm house and a companion. If you don’t come back here and we will be your companions! Bee-bobbles and trees don’t throw off warmth like one caring person, not to mention hundreds of them, can. Happy Holidays! Warmth, and love and caring to all! : )
    PS–sorry I wrote so darn much! Hope you forgive me

  223. I keep thinking Christmas has already passed because I got everything done so early this year… parties attended, cards mailed, tree up, decorations up, presents bought, presents mailed (thank you, Amazon), cookies baked (and already eaten), pretended to like my coworkers for weeks… I can’t believe that silly holiday isn’t here yet. Just as a reminder that karma is a bitch, our reward for having our feces collated in a timely manner, we had to put the old cat down yesterday. Now it REALLY feels like the post-holiday blues.

  224. I don’t have a tree or any other single Christmas decoration up this year. Luckily, I’m going out of state to visit my daughter for the actual holiday and my “Big Family Christmas” with my mother and siblings and their families is always held after Christmas to avoid conflicts and allow everyone to be there. It’s at my house but not til mid January. So I may have a tree by then. If not, a lot of people believe in celebrating the birth of Christ in March when historians say it more likely took place so I might join that group too. I could definitely be ready by March.

  225. Since our tree stays up until Epiphany, I don’t mind if our tree doesn’t make it out of the box until Christmas Eve. This year, Christmas will be small, but time with my kids is all I really need. The best part is hugs don’t cost anything and come in unlimited supply!

    So this is my virtual mom-hug to all of you. (I’ve been told I give the best mom-hugs). Much love. And take a deep breath!

  226. I wish there was a way to “like” posts without having to go through the windows mail. I do gmail and don’t wish to sign up with anyone else. So, I just want other post-ers on this blog to know. I “like” all your posts!

  227. My Mom died in May, I wrenched my shoulder in November, and in December my office declared a 4-day furlough for January.

    So this year I did far less than I wanted to. I hung two strips of lights on a bush outside. I put up the tree with only the first tub of ornaments I ran across. My 10yo pointed out that I have a nativity tree ornament, so I didn’t even get the nativity out. I did put up the little china light-up tree that my mother used at our house as long as I can remember.

    The 10yo gets gifts. My mother in law gets a gift. The husband&I sent some toys to ToysForTots, a donation to Project Night-Night, and a donation to IRISCT — a group that helps settle Syrian refugees in our state.

    I was supposed to shoehorn in a visit to my brother’s family but the shoulder’s not letting me drive that far. And that hurts almost as much as the shoulder damage.

  231. I put my $15 half-off tree up yesterday, for the same lazy and terrible reasons. I am picking up Christmas food from Walmart on the 23rd, because I can do that, and they will put it right in my trunk for me. Almost all the gifts are bought, none of them are wrapped and I. Don’t. Even. Care. This is a weird Christmas. I am just forcing myself to roll with it.

  232. Oh, I am so happy I’m not alone! NO tree. NO preparations! Gonna order in some Thai food! Dentist today! Aaaahhh! I suck at being an adult!

  234. What do you say, when you didn’t buy any gifts and it’s only three days before Christmas? Well you say “fuck!!!” and ” Thank you amazon!” I’m so not ready for this christmas, like really not ready… Worst time of the year for many.

  235. The only reason I know it’s almost Christmas is because I’m counting the days until this terrible year is behind us.

  236. I’m knitting creepy owls and dragonflies for my Christmas tree so it won’t look out of season in March.

  237. Thank you for this reminder. My goal was just to put up a tree this year if nothing else. And we still have time, but it’s good to remember that even if it doesn’t happen that’s okay. We don’t always get our ideal Christmas but maybe we always get our perfect Christmas if we let go of that ideal.

  239. Ralph you are brilliant, bunnies for everyone! I’m going to think about that when I start to get anxious about being behind and just grin. Merry Christmas Jenny and her fabulous tribe.

  240. Ahhhh I get out of school tomorrow and I don’t have gifts for anybody yet…why hello anxiety would you like to join the party

  241. Actually, I’m ready-ish. Also have a start on gifts for next year. x.x Long story on why.

  242. I feel you. I am currently pretending to nap, and actually hiding from my grumpy toddlers. We’re fine. Just too many colds… Is it weird to stress so much about keeping the holidays stress-free?

  243. Goals for this year? Don’t get drunk on the tequila you pleaded for for a Christmas present. The inlaws wont get it. It’s Summer in New Zealand…. so highlights lately have been last minute panic shopping in scorching heat and legs that stick to the car seats. It could be worse though, I mean, really.

  244. Same here!! This weekend??

    It sucks; my mom has tonsillitis and a severe sore throat, and there’s nothing we can do besides wait for it to get better. I really wish she’ll be well enough to enjoy Christmas. 🙁 I got sick with something else while I was across the country visiting my grandparents for the holidays, but I’m feeling better now. (Also, I just realized her Christmas gift was supposed to arrive on the Wednesday before Christmas, and it hasn’t yet. Dang it!)

    Best wishes for Victor, holiday illnesses suck!

  245. A little rationalization goes a long way….we’re not decorating the live tree we bought this year, because we’re just really into the majesty of nature left unspoiled by ornamentation. (why did we chop down a tree then? “majesty of nature” my ass.)

  246. Also…am I the only one who had no idea what Christmas crackers were until recently?? I’d heard the name in passing before, but I was picturing some sort of food (like “Christmas cookies”)…perhaps the tray of Townhouse crackers w/ dip you lay out for your Christmas guests?

    I guess it must be a UK thing (I’m in the US), because the first time I saw a Christmas cracker was on a British TV show. (A British TV show on Nick Jr., in which a fairy gets trapped inside one of them, because hi, I am ALSO SEVEN.)

    …Now I’m not going to be satisfied with my life until I obtain, and pull, a Christmas cracker. Sigh.

  247. I laughed and laughed at “in my defense I’m very lazy and also a terrible person. ” What a great defense! An all time great defense!!

  248. Me, neither. I find myself enthusiastic about Christmas every-other year. this year is Not Your Year, Christmas! so chill, and eat the good food.

  249. Your post made ME look at the calendar. I put one Santa hat on Maury and another on one of the cats.Color me done. I’m barely in my own home during Christmas break, and SOMEBODY has to put all that stuff away after Christmas.

  250. We have our prelit tree up but not decorated. After reading your post I am now more interested in playing with trains than decorating. This weekend you say.

  251. I had that same moment on Sunday. I thought there was an additional week. In my defense, I have been on narcotics from knee replacement surgery…but, still. It’s not like I hadn’t been watching at least one Hallmark Christmas movie everyday. So you’d think I would have wondered how long they run these things back-to-back anyways? Happy Yule Everyone!

  252. I don’t see why we should have to conform to baby Jesus and/or Santa’s schedule every single year anyway… it’s about time they were flexible and adjusted their plans for the rest of us.

  253. i’m so with you on this… i’m only just now ready for thanksgiving…. Thank you, it helps to know i’m not alone….

  254. Cure for not being ready: don’t decorate, Don’t buy presents for everybody ( give notice ahead of time) and simplify cooking (e.g. Warm a ham, buy pre- mashed potatoes, etc) and put your feet up like I’m doing right now. No apologies. They will get used to you and you can like yourself

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  255. You know, on the brightside there’s still a few days left for the Zombie apocalypse to happen in the meantime. Christmas may never come, and we can all band together to survive in various states of disarray and drunkeness while clutching sharp implements to defend ourselves.

    Actually, sounds like a normal Christmas anyway.

  256. Thanks for the warning – I realized today that I was totally unprepared for the Christmas frenzy and then I saw your post… I’ve been trying to breathe and realize that family means well… but it doesn’t always come across that way. Hope you enjoy the train and whatever fancy Christmas meal you have – as for us… we’re winging it!

  257. I found Christmas cards with letters that I never sent last year. I just wrote “nothing has changed” at the bottom and sent them.

  258. One year my mom was so not ready that she forgot to buy groceries for Christmas dinner.

    Thank goodness for Chinese takeout! So…if all else fails, you can always go have some orange chicken.

  259. I keep forgetting that it’s Christmas this weekend cause I work. The joys of being a nurse and working all holidays regardless cause hospitals are open 24/7, 365 days a year is that I frequently any holiday unless I’m actually off. Otherwise it’s just another work day. It’s funny too cause everyone is so sad I work Christmas and New Years and keeps saying how sorry they are for me, or how much that sucks and I’m just cackling with glee on the inside at all the stat holiday money I’m going to make that’s going to my buying books to read collection. Merry Christmas to me!!!

  260. I studied in a boarding school for nine years, and didn’t celebrate any of our customary festivals during that time. Its totally alright if you forgot about Christmas. Maybe you enjoy this Christmas even more because you didn’t plan it out!

  261. I have been so incredibly sad all day and sobbed last night until I fell down. Literally. So I am so grateful to have read this post today and all of the comments. Thank you, Jenny.

  262. vxb222 – microwave 6 minute caramel

    1/2 cup corn syrup
    1/4 cup butter (half a stick)
    1/2 cup sweetened condensed milk (half a can, roughly)
    1/2 cup white sugar
    1/2 cup brown sugar
    big pinch of salt

    soften the butter first, chuck everything else in a glass bowl and mix up well and nuke for 6 minutes, stopping to give a good stir every 2 minutes. ( my microwave is 1100watts, you may need to adjust a bit depending on power, but just don’t burn it and you’ll be fine. If you smell it that’s bad. stop and stir )

    scrape out into a parchment (PARCHMENT, not wax paper while its hot,, you will NEVER get it off wax paper,,, only have to learn that lesson once) lined pan. I use a 8×8 or 9×9 sq. (I honestly have no idea which it is, I bought it for 10 cents and its a square that’s all I know.)

    Let cool to roomish temp then chuck it in the fridge for an hour to harden a little more. Run a heavy knife or a pizza cutter under hot water, pull out of the pan and cut into bite sized pieces, Twist these up into little squares (or ripe off scraps if you are like me and can’t find any of your 4 pairs of scissors ) of waxed paper. Keeps best in fridge. Other wise at room temp you have a couple weeks at BEST before it starts to get a little grainy.

  263. note on the caramel,,, its like NAPALM when it comes out of the bowl at first, for the love of all your hold dear don’t get it on you.

  264. I’m fairly certain that the calendar is wrong this year, Christmas really can’t be in just 3 more sleeps…. it can’t be, because then I would have to have all my shopping done, and baking started (well to be honest here that’s not happening at this point…. or it was probably never going to happen anyway). If humans could hibernate now would be a good time to start. My one ray of hope is that there will be booze at some of the upcoming obligatory parties, and bra flasks for the rest!

  266. No family get together this year. Wife and I are trying to decide on a trip to the cabin in the mountains or a trip to the casino. There is nature and stuff in the mountains but then again there are pretty lights at the casino.

  267. You’re having the same light bulb moment I had about the when/where on the calendar of Christmas, except on only had it yesterday morning! I have my tree up, only sort of decorated, I’ve purchased gifts, but I have no idea if I bought one for everyone, nor are they wrapped or ready, and I think I hid some in places I now cannot remember. Oh, and that “roast beast” you mention, well…I’m supposed to be cooking ours with all the trimmings, and my house is in shambles at the moment, because I have not been home more than 12 seconds in more than a week, and my husband and dogs don’t seem to know how to clean/or what to, or something. So…there’s that! Sunday should be interesting. Oh, and did I mention, everyone actually arrives on Saturday?! Yep, I’ll be the one over here in the corner blubbering madly and looking like a crazier than normal person that I am. Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good whatever! I am voting for xanax myself.

  268. I’m not ready. I’m sad that my mom died in November, 2 weeks before Thanksgiving. That is a food holiday anyways, and I like eating, so that one went okay. But, my mom loved Christmas, and bought lots of gifts, and had fun wrapping them. I got that trait from her, but even as I picked up items from a hobby store last month, I was overwhelmed by the shininess and people and music playing overhead, and got teary, and got my stuff fast before I really broke down. My sister and I cannot go into a department store without thinking about our taking mom shopping in the past. I made a new Blue Christmas wreath that has a lot of shiny blue, silver and black in it (I like the effect, still pretty despite being a little Goth). My Christmas tree is up, but not lit, decorated, or even facing the right way (at least it’s out of the storage bag, thank God because it usually looks like a festive body bag every year before we unwrap the tree from it!). I’m still at work, I’m still writing Christmas cards (only 5 since yesterday, 3 days before Christmas), and I just got everyone gift cards. The day might just come and go without me really making an effort. I think that is okay. No one will hate me, and lots of people can’t celebrate it due to being away in combat, or on a hospital shift, or whatever. I’ll just be a person on bereavement-leave from Christmas this year.

  269. HeeHeeHee. Love! all these posts! Zombie apocalypse person did you grow up in my family (six kids, most despise each other, I’m the youngest, so “overlooked” was this one time a big benefit). One brother actually stabbed the other on that fleshy part between the eyes, with a fork, leaving a permanent indent (not to mention a weird memory for me of looking across the dining room table over xmas dinner bucket of chicken at my sixteen year old brother with a fork sticking straight out from his forehead between his eyes (fork unicorn?) and blood running down his startled, angry face. Can you say eruption?!! It’s ok, things have worked out, one side of the family still despises the other, but I get to live far away from that freak-out-fest called a family. Do I need Christmas? Nope. Just give me a day off and leave me alone, and I am happy as a clam. Peace is highly underrated….Enjoy it if you’ve got it, and if you don’t, I say go find it, and poo on everything else! Happy day off! When ever that is for you : )

  270. You know, I did bake last week for Christmas… aaaaaaaaaaaaand we promptly gave it all away, and now there is nothing baked at ALL and my parents are here visiting from Canada and I can offer them only loose chocolate chips to go with their after dinner coffee.

    I feel you.

  271. ditto! My details are a bit different…but outcome is similar. Thank you and merry merry merry to everyone! 🙂

  272. I hardly ever know what day it is, anymore. I’m desperately trying to finish Christmas gifts because I decided to make all my presents this year. What have I gotten myself into… :s

  273. Our Christmas plans changed drastically. Our fifth grandchild was born on Monday. A little girl. Today, as I type this, she is having open heart surgery. So far, she is doing well. But I am sad and terrified.

  274. I’m ready for Christmas this year, which is unusual for my fly by the seat of my pants lifestyle, and I still didn’t know it was this weekend! It’s been super sneaky this year, that Christmas (insert narrowing eyes, glancing to the side here).

  275. I actually got everything PURCHASED, but nothing wrapped, because cat was “helping” wrap the one gift that NEEDED WRAPPING IMMEDIATELY. Took over an hour. Put cat on floor at least 9 times. Rotten kitty loves boxes, tissue paper, wrapping paper…Maybe I should lock her in the basement. Little fuzzy troublemaker….

  276. I wish you the happiest Festival of Saturnalia! You are the best present anyone could want!

  277. I was all ambitious that I was going to make tons of this awesome bracelets for everyone this year (like, at least ten). Guess how many I’ve made! Almost one.

  278. My husband said, “I can’t see out of these glasses any more. I’ll go get new glasses this weekend.” Well, maybe not this weekend…

  279. Huh….it appears you’re correct. Christmas really is this weekend. I guess I better get to the store if we plan to have any type of roast beast this Sunday. Apparently you are not the only adult who can’t check a calendar. On the plus side, all of my company has canceled for one reason or another; I don’t have to be social with anyone else but my family!

  281. I’m ready this year only because I bought plane tickets for trip on Jan 1 and declared that there would “not be a damn thing under the tree and I really mean it.” I did, and not a present was purchased for my house.

  283. Well, we here are so disorganized on a regular basis that when I asked my dad if he’d like to go to my daughter’s for Christmas dinner he said, “Sure. What day are we doing Christmas?”
    We sort of aim for the day/weekend most of the family can make it. Now if you go to church, I guess you have to show up at the right time. And probably not Wednesday afternoon after your child is back at school. But really. Anyway in Russia and some other places they celebrate on January 6. So I say, any time in the neighborhood of the winter solstice that no one is snowed in or working late shift or has the flu… but, yeah, I do try to write my Christmas column on time…

  284. Also, I started shopping way early. Which is not to brag, because now I can’t find some of the things I’m sure I have…

  285. In adulthood I’ve become a firm proponent of Christmas mimicking the Olympics and occurring every 4 years only.I might have a fighting chance for being prepared for it that way.

  286. this is the first year i ever bought myself a christmas decoration. i’m 46. it’s a 12″ pink, shiny tree. i got it for $4.82 (yay michaels!). my cat tried to eat it through the box, which sat on the kitchen table until my husband put it on top of a rack in the kitchen where neither i nor the cats can reach it.

  287. “but in my defense I’m lazy and also a terrible person.”

    I laughed out loud. I am going to say that sometime in the next week. It’s going to happen.

    Merry Christmas, Bloggess. Thanks for all of the laughs.

  288. My first partner and his entire family used to shop for Christmas no later than February, whereas most of my family are stop-on-the-way-home Christmas Eve shoppers. It was not a successful long-term partnership, is what I’m saying, especially after he developed a “Christmas is so stressful and I hate it” complex. (“Then why are we doing it?” just got me an are-you-crazy look.) I like the way my husband and I do it now…if we feel like it we put up a tree and/or other decorations, but if we don’t get around to it, oh well. We haven’t officially done presents in years (we have everything we need/want and don’t need anything else to be dusted), but we always have home-made cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning, and his family’s traditional Christmas dinner later, which is turkey croquettes, barbecued pearl onions, and some other stuff I doubt anyone else calls traditional holiday food.

    Control the holiday, don’t let it control you! Do something, do nothing, do something weird, but don’t do anything “because it’s traditional” unless it’s your own tradition and/or something you want to do.

    I’ve just discovered this place recently, but if I could I’d invite you all over for a totally optional eat, drink, and be merry–or don’t–holiday gathering. Happy End-of-2016, everyone!

  289. This week I followed my new tradition and binge-read Furiously Happy. I find it’s one of the few things that helps the seasonal depression. I finished this afternoon and got dressed for Christmas Eve dinner out. I was reflecting on the book throughout dinner, and just at dessert we looked out the floor length window – a raccoon was looking in at us. It was amazing under any circumstances, but following on several days of Jenny Lawson it was simply perfect. So thank you and happy holidays from the wildlife and a dedicated reader from San Antonio

  291. Merry Christmas! I ordered your calendar and it showed up yesterday and it is awesome. Here’s hoping for an awesome 2017. Thanks!

  292. You are seriously my people. Like, Friday, I was like, “Wait, what? Christmas is THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW? Fuck.”

  293. Yes! I felt guilty running to the store for all my gifts on Christmas eve. Scrambling around the store with the thousand other people who are as lazy and inconsiderate as myself (hehe)

  294. My husband died 3 weeks ago. I kept putting one foot in front of the other and made it through. I have great family and friends who helped make it all work.

  295. This is the first year in the decade since Mommy’s death that I have had ANY Christmas Spirit. I put up the tree the day after Thanksgiving, ffs! But then The Day itself definitely snuck up on me (basically, the whole month whipped past me). Grateful we ordered the nieces’ and nephews’ gifts with Amazon Prime – our procrastination didn’t affect anyone else!

    But I think the fact that I had CS instead of my normal Winter Funk actually caused hubby to have less. Weird…

  296. sometimes dumb people can try and ruin others holidays. what my kids and I choose is to let some people who gave up there life’s because of drugs and bad chooses they made. we let them have Christmas at our plac(FOR HIS SONS SAKE) HE HAD CHRISTMAS AT OUR PLACE. SO SAD SON COULD ONLY HANDKE HIS DAD FOR 1 HOUR. WHAT QE DRDIDED IS CHRISTMAS IN JULY TO STOL CEKEBRAYE JESUSES BIRTH. THANKFUL TO KINDNESS OF STANGERS WHEN WE HAD HATD YIMRS. LOVE OF FAMUKY THEN WE WILLCOOK OPEN PRESENTS LAUGH AT MEMORIES AND LAUGH AT GIFTS WE FOUND ON SELL BACK IN DECEMBER. WE EVEN HAVE A NICE RSIDERS TREE TO PUT UP. TO EVERYONE PLRASE TRY DOMETHING LIKE THIS . WIL POST PICTURES IN AUGUST. SONEWHERE ON A BEAC

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Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.

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The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”.  Often irreverent, always honest.

Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.

Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

Beautiful Writers book: Writers! This coming-of-career memoir (w/ the BEST advice from celeb authors, real shit you haven’t heard) is life. A page-turning beach read doubling as how-to. #Magic

The Dating Days of Marta O: When I told my sister I was building a blog she said: “Do people still read blogs?” I do not know, but if YOU want to read it, here it is. Keep in mind, my stories about dating after 40 are for the brave.

Where Do I Belong? A memoir of Sarah Carrington: The unbelievable story of growing up in a religious cult in the mountains of Northern British Columbia. What happens to you in life doesn’t make you strong; rising above it does.

CONNECTED: A Personal Journal for Ketamine Therapy Created by writer & patient Katherine Davis for this powerful clinical treatment. If considering ketamine for major depression, check out this essential tool.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: SO GOOD.

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