Goddammit, Chris.

I’m sitting here at my computer, crying on my dog who is very confused about what has happened.  What has happened is that Chris Cornell has died.  It seems crazy to cry about someone you never met but he affected my life with his music and words from the time I was a struggling teenager until this very day.

I was lucky enough to see him in concert half a lifetime ago and it was worth the anxiety of being around so many people because when he started singing I could feel him reach into my heart and everything else fell away.  I cried as he sang, as I almost always do when someone sings the words you thought only you felt.  I was luckier still when we became internet friends…that weird sort of friendship that mainly exists in following each other on twitter and in “hearting” things each other had written.

When I heard this morning that he died my first thought was that I couldn’t remember if I ever told him how much he’d meant to me, so I looked through my DM’s.  And I found this:

.

And it made me feel a tiny bit better.  I’m sure I’m one of millions of people he touched but I was relieved that I had told him.

I will miss him and the music he will never make again.  But I’m glad I said thank you before it was too late.  And tomorrow I will turn my hand at making sure that I’ve reached out to others that have helped shape me in ways they never know.  Because too late comes too soon.

Thank you, Chris, for everything.

 

PS. Depression lies. Do not go gently. We need you.  The crisis chatline has helped me before so I’m leaving it here if you need it: http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx  Or google “suicide prevention” and your local hotline should pop up.

169 thoughts on “Goddammit, Chris.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Was sorry to hear this too. Ugly surprise.

    (ok, you freaked me out – saw the goddamm it Chris and thought I’d done something to piss you off.)

  2. Feeling all of this as well this morning listening to him sing about “when you miss somebody” on Euphoria Morning, my personal fav. Hugs to you sweet friend. Love you and Chris Cornell bunches.

  3. The first thing I said: Dammit Chris! This morning is a sad one. I was just listening to him last night. What a voice. What a talent. So damn sad, at 52.

  4. Right there with you. Have only just read the news. That empty hole in the pit of the stomach.

  5. I was shocked and saddened to hear about his passing. I thought for a brief moment it wasn’t true. The man had a 4 octave range and I was always mesmerized by his voice which was/is so beautiful. 🙁

  6. I am sad too – he touched so many with his music . His voice was amazing . He was a beautiful soul . RIP

  7. He was my husband’s idol; the man he said he would “go gay” for. My husband turns 50 this year, and Chris was only 52, so it’s hitting him pretty hard. He had an amazing voice that just moved you when you heard it. I don’t want to live in a world where Eddie Vedder is the only frontman from my youth left.

  8. What a goddamn shame. Your message here is so important, Jenny. Too late does come too soon. We have to leave it all on the table and tell people how we feel. Because, in the end, that is all that matters. Love to you and your broken heart. xo

  9. Such a loss. Let me use this as a moment to let YOU know how much your words and stories help me. Help me know I’m not alone in my weirdness. Help me express what I’m feeling when I don’t have the words. Help me laugh about the things I often just want to cry about. Help me know that it’s ok if once in a while I want to get into in pillow fort with a vodka slushie and color until I feel like I can face the world again. Thank YOU for being in my life – virtually, you know, I promise not to kidnap you and force you into my pillow fort. That would be too weird, and traumatic for you.

  10. He freaking nailed the opener for Casino Royale.
    I’m glad you have Dorothy – I feel animals are absorbent for a reason and that reason is so you can sob into them.
    And I totally know what you mean about the emotions of a live performance. I saw Adele earlier in the year during a tumultuous time. She got up on stage, sang the opener for Hello and I burst into hysterical tears for a solid 5 minutes. In public. The woman next to me gave me this look like “aww poor thing, she’s clearly going through a tough break-up” and inside my head I was thinking “no, I just have a lot of feels and Adele said ‘Hello’ to me.”
    Hope you’re ok xoxo

  11. I’m with you. Growing up with his amazing voice ringing in my ears and soothing my soul. I still listen to his music on a daily basis. He’ll be desperately missed. Hugs to you….

  12. Listening to Superunknown right now with the occasional tear falling on my keyboard. A brilliant voice silenced way too early.

  13. I too cried when I heard the news. I have a special cd I listen to when I am particularly low, and Chris’s voice makes up a good portion of it. It somehow felt like he was holding my hand. Not many people even know I deal with depression and anxiety, but he knew.

  14. Breaks my heart. Feels like my teenage years have died. I miss Scott Weiland still. Its such a strange world when icons are gone.

  15. “…too late comes too soon”. Thank YOU for always saying what needs to be said, and from the place deep down in your soul, where it is often uncomfortable to be.

  16. Truly a loss. People don’t understand when I feel that way too. Robin William’s was devastating for me and I am still not completely over losing him. He was a hero to me. I knew the emotional pain he had been through and I thought well if he is strong enough so am I. Knowing he had the disease he had eases that pain in some kind of warped way. What his daughter Zelda said about his light not being extinguished and carrying it on through fans and his work also helps. I honor him as much as I can every day by fighting the mental illness.

  17. Not to intrude upon your grief, but your site is SO hard to read on mobile. I literally have to keep swiping left to see all the text, and then slide all the way right again to wrap around the next sentence.

  18. He was the voice of a decade of my life. The world feels strangely smaller today.

  19. Oh Jenny. I am sitting at work, without a dog to even cry on. Much like when Bowie died, my husband literally woke me up saying “Chris Cornell died”. Not a great wake-up call/alarm. sigh He will be missed.

  20. Jenny, I am a generation older than you but I want you to know your honesty, your beauty, and devastating wit have touched me beyond words. I have read everything you’ve written. You have a way, a talent, of getting into our hearts and I’m so grateful to have “met” you. I can only imagine how many kindred spirits have benefitted from your bravery in sharing your journey. I must admit I have never heard of Chris Cornell but I listened to the YouTube post and I was very moved by his music. Several years ago, my singer-soulmate, Dan Fogelberg died and I feel your loss. I couldn’t imagine a world without him. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for being you.

  21. I’m sorry for your loss. I know that there are many musicians that have saved my life and written lyrics that have reflected what was in my heart. Godspeed Chris and Hugs Jenny and all the other fans. ❤️❤️

  22. I’m crying with you. I just saw him on the 6th. This isn’t real. His music helped me during one of my worst depressive episodes a couple of years ago. Their music got me through my mom’s death last year (along with Pearl Jam). I got lucky enough to see him 5 times since last June. This feels like a bad dream. No, worse: motherfucking hell — this hurts BAD. I feel ya, Jenny. Every word.

  23. I am just so unbelievably sad! He got me through tough times in my late teens and early twenties.

  24. I was at the Soundgarden concert last night. Not the news I expected to hear this morning.

  25. I’m crying. I related to him like no other artist and went to every concert I could. I am devastated.

  26. Because too late comes too soon: Jenny Lawson, I return to the epilogue of Furiously Happy every time I feel like I can’t go on. You help me go on. Your books are a lifeline. Thank you for sharing your gifts. I’m grieving the loss of Chris Cornell too.

  27. I have been in a dark place for months now, unable to work, unable to find suitable treatment. This devastated me this morning.

  28. His music touched so many lives. His music definitely helped me through some hard times in college. We are all sharing in the grief

  29. I have been in a dark place for months now, unable to work, unable to find suitable treatment. This devestated me this morning.

  30. I’ve been going through my own dark times in the last several months, and Fell on Dark Days has been an anthem on and off. My heart breaks for him and for his family and loved ones.
    Sending peace and virtual hugs to all who need it right now.

  31. He wrote beautiful songs and had a gorgeous voice and had eyes that looked like they could see through to your soul and his hair…. Lord, I would not have been able to keep my hands out of it. Also, 52? WTF!

  32. Stunned and absolutely staggered by the news. Hugs being sent your way.

  33. Thank you for blogging. You make me smile and cry happy tears too.

  34. Chris Cornell and Soundgarden inspired a new mother who was struggling with the loss of her old identity after the birth of her beloved child, and his lyrics carried me through some tough times over the span of years. They also woke me to another view of the world and inspired me. I’m crying with you, Jenny, for the loss of not only a spectacular voice, but by all accounts a wonderful man with a huge heart.

  35. My husband woke me with the news this morning. I’ve been a sobbing mess since. His music has followed me from the time I was a preteen, even before Black Hole Sun (I think maybe 1992?) I had the privilege to see his Songbook acoustic tour at the beautiful, gilded Carnegie Music Hall in Pittsburgh in 2011. He has always been my favorite singer. His songs’ lyrics cut deeply into my soul and articulate things that I never realized that I lacked words for. I’ll be grateful to have his music to listen to forever even though he, himself is gone. I hope you don’t get too sad today but know that we are all with you, in our own little rooms, listening to his voice together.

  36. During his teenage years, Chris spiraled into severe depression, dropped out of school and almost never left the house during his state of depression. (ONE OF US)

  37. Wow. This was the first I heard that news. Even the simultaneous end of Roger Ailes doesn’t balance this out. Thanks for your great tribute, Jenny, and thanks for the music, Chris. So now we know — who gets mystified.

  38. I had to keep looking at the news story to try and wrap my head around this being true. He had the greatest voice in rock and roll and a true talent for tapping into the deepest well of feelings. I pray he just went in his sleep and it wasn’t something nefarious. He will be sorely missed. 🙁

  39. I cried this morning too….my 10 year old daughter didn’t understand why.

    When I was 13 my way cool older sister loved Nirvana and Pearl Jam…she introduced to me to Temple of the Dog and Soundgarden. I literally fell in love with rock and metal after listening to country and pop my entire life. I immediately switched over and became my true self. Rock / metal music helped me get through some of the darkest and brightest times of my life. I wouldn’t be the crazy wife/mama that I am today without Soundgarden, Audioslave, Avenged Sevenfold and all the others that I discovered because of Chris Cornell’s music and beautiful voice.

    So I told my daughter this morning, that one day she will come across an artist that touches her soul and feeds her heart. And when she does, she will embrace it for the rest of her life….and if suddenly that person is gone, it will hurt…but she will be thankful that she still has their music….their legacy. I think she understood.

  40. ILike so all of you, devastated is the emotion. Huge lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. Was already working as a volunteer tomorrow to support suicide prevention. Becomes more meaningful now.

  41. That video was beautiful. He was beautiful. Can we just go back to the 90s and relive the awesomeness that was the music? Of course we might also have to relive the angst that made that music speak to us, but there is still a longing to just be young and angst-filled instead of old & aware of mortality & illness & dare I say…TRUMP is fucking president. RIP Chris Cornell. Trent Reznor better be taking his vitamins or I’m done.

  42. I understand this. I started my teens in the late 80s and was a grunge chick all the way. I was in traffic on my way to work this morning when I heard, and it felt like my heart literally skipped a beat in the bad way. My stomach bottomed out, and I was thankful I’d not eaten anything this morning. I still can’t fully process that this is real.

  43. Can’t believe it. Seeing him with Audioslave was one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to. I’ve been listening to him for years. What a way to wake up this morning–like a gutpunch. I cried too.

  44. This is so beyond heartbreaking. Like you said, his music and lyrics brought something to me in my early teen years that I didn’t know I needed. Wish I had gotten the chance to hear his voice in person. And I just listened to my favourite song (Black Hole Sun) yesterday. It always got me before but now….

  45. I am always blown away when those bedrocks of my childhood, those fundamental and unquestionably talented individuals who helped shape me and my life both professional and personal, pass away. It is as if the world has been turned on its head and is somehow a lesser place without them in it. Chris Cornell was a genuinely talented musician on so many levels and will be sorely missed.

  46. His music helped me make it through the shit storm that was my youth. I’m sitting here thinking about all of the singers,actors and entertainers that essentially played a part in making sense of the fuckery in my life and for a brief moment I wasn’t alone.

  47. “Because too late comes too soon” is a perfect way to say it. I had thought that because we lost so many brilliant musicians last year, that I would not be able to cry if we lost another one… I was clearly wrong. I am unbelievably sad to move this voice to the list of those I will never be able to hear live.

  48. Just to make sure you know on this sad day, Thank YOU, for all the help YOU have given me and my family through writing your books and your blogging and the special things that you run on here! <3 and virtual {hugs}

  49. I just saw him in concert for the second time 2 weeks ago. TWO WEEKS AGO. He was brilliant and amazing and wonderful.

  50. I just saw him in concert for the 2nd time 2 weeks ago. TWO WEEKS AGO. He was amazing and brilliant and wonderful.

  51. This is how I felt the day Prince died. Or, rather, this is how I’ve felt since the day Prince died. I didn’t know him. He didn’t know me. But a huge part of my life and soul went quiet that day. Since it sounds like Chris is your Prince I want to say to you, because I went through it, that it is ok to mourn and be sad and to not feel silly or ridiculous and to just be prepared to maybe not even be able to listen to music for a bit. Find all of the podcasts that you love and get them ready. Just in case. It will likely, truly, feel like mourning a family member. And it’s OK.

  52. I’m 55 years old and I have followed Chris since his earliest years with Soundgarden. Lately his covers have been a salve to me. Singing Metallica lyrics to the music of U2 “One”? Talent and genius. I am having a hard time imagining I won’t hear his voice again.

  53. Always. Always tell people what they mean to you. If you can’t say it loud, then find another way.

    I’m glad you found that DM and some closure.

  54. Last year I heard one of my favorite musicians (Bap Kennedy) was quite ill with cancer and treatment wasn’t an option. My sister had turned me on to his band, Energy Orchard, back in the early 90’s. I loved their music and when they split up, I was gutted.

    One of the band members moved to FL and I saw him play at a little dive bar where I lived in GA. I never did get to see Bap perform, but I followed his music. Energy Orchard was a rock band, but Bap chose to follow his heart and changed genres to blues, country, and folk, some with a touch of Celtic thrown in for good measure.

    Long story short, when I heard he was ill, I made it a point to send him an email to let him know how much his music had moved me, and saved me at times. I wasn’t expecting a response, but he wrote back and said he was shocked at how many people were writing him to tell him what a difference he and his music made in their lives. I figured he knew how much his fans appreciated his music, but like with everyone else, unless someone actually tells you, you never really know, do you? I’m glad I reached out. I’m glad he knew he was loved and appreciated for not only his art, but just for being Bap.

    I shouldn’t have waited until the end to tell him. He should have known that from early on. Will do my best to reach out to those who have touched me and shaped me.

    Jenny, you are one of those. You are beautiful and funny and one of the most generous of people. Thank you. I appreciate you each and every day. <3

  55. I’m crying too. Thank you for expressing what is hard for most of us to express. 😥💔

  56. I was supposed to see Soundgarden next Saturday as a headliner for Rocklahoma. Chris Cornell has been part of my musical landscape going on 25 years or more. I am heartbroken.

  57. Aw geez. It’s always heartbreaking when we, as a whole, lose someone like Chris. I’m so glad you had already sent your thoughts to him.

    You should know that after you wrote your Mother’s Day post, I reached out to the Mom of my longest best friend and told her how much I appreciated her and how large her influence was in my life. She’s 83 now.

    Because of you, I may never have gotten around to sending my love to her. Peace, Jenny.

  58. Jenny, I am sorry you are hurting. You are inspiring. You speak the words that I thought no one else felt. You are brave. You tell us we are not alone. You save lives and hopes. Even for that, I know that anyone who comes into contact with you, virtual or en vivo or your words is a better for the world to experience. ❤️🥄

  59. I was so sad to hear he died. I understand and sympathize with the sadness that must have weighed on his heart. He was such an amazing artist and will be missed.

  60. Thank you for this. I’ve been crying all morning. Such a voice, what a loss.

  61. I was caught off guard and so sad to hear of his passing. I understand and sympathize with the heaviness that must have been in his heart. He was an amazing artist and will be missed.

  62. I had never heard him, but will definitely go check him out now. I hope you know that you reach out to all of us with each and every one of your posts. Sometimes, you give us a little comic relief. Sometimes you give us heartbreaking honesty. Both are necessary and important. So here’s a little thank you back to you, as well as some cyber hugs.

  63. Oh No! Spoonman down 🙁 Always loved Soundgarden. Like a Stone and Spoonman are my two favorites.

  64. Life will be different knowing that he doe not walk the Earth with me anymore. His voice and words has the unique ability to quiet the chatter of darkness in my mind and give me rare moments of quiet and lightness. My heart aches today. I’ll forever be his faithful fan.

  65. Thank YOU for being someone who reaches into our hearts to say the words we thought only we were feeling. We love you. So much.

  66. A co-worker told me about Chris’s death as we walked into work together this morning. I balled my head off right after clocking in. What a way to start the day. I was lucky enough to see him in concert with Audioslave a couple times. He was amazing. I always identified with his lyrics and his screaming vocals were so cathartic for me. His amazing talent will be missed by so many. Once again, a brilliant flame that has gone out too soon. 🙁

  67. I’ve been listening to his music more this week for some strange reason. He’s obviously been in my headspace lately. But now, out of the five big grunge bands, Eddie Vedder’s the only original frontman left. When I got the news this morning, I was stunned. I’ve been listening to some of his stuff on and off this morning since I found out… and I haven’t been able to cry yet. I know I will. But his voice… his voice spoke to my very soul when I was having hard times. Still does. (Thank goodness we have the capability of recording performances/voices/songs/etc. Damn.) My heart is breaking.

    He was too young.

    (Maleficent. The person formally known as libraryzombie.)

  68. No! OMG! I hadn’t heard. My heart is broken. I LOVE THIS MAN! Damnit. Why do all the most awesome people die so young? I need to cry now… but I am at work. 🙁

  69. True story. You never know what is felt and heard in life. Graciousness and courtesy go a long way. Do unto others as you would want done unto you.

  70. Oh, I love this post (although the loss is so devastating), because as writers I think that’s the goal, to connect with people. To write something that deeply resonates with someone else. So I think it’s the greatest tribute of all to talk about how deeply Chris’ work affected you.

  71. I’d never heard his music. My daughter had tickets to go to her first concert – his – on Saturday night. He speaks to her soul. I will send her your post because she listens to you too. Thank you Jenny. For often having the words that I cannot speak out loud and for just knowing who I am, thank you. You have made difference and that is the world.

  72. Yes, it hit my heart hard too. I’m glad you wrote to him! Maybe the ship sailing from our hard Middle-Earth has him onboard, along with so many other, shiny-on-the-inside people like Prince, Freddie Mercury and Bowie. But we still have many other of our tribe who are right here with us, ready to let us sing along, clasp a hand or share a smile of solidarity.

  73. Something that I have found to work splendidly against my depression is to sit down with pretty paper and envelopes, and find everyone I want to thank for something, and do it in a letter. I do it for clerks and servicepeople. You know, it goes right to their Review folder? At the very least, I’ve talked to their managers. Those people are so grateful to talk to someone positive that it’s quite gratifying to them that you notice. I give them details like, “that person really took ownership of the problem” or “I noticed how professional the person was, and they were obviously very well hired and trained.”
    This unleashes a great deal of fun and is addictive. The more I do it, the more opportunities I see for more.

    Then, there’s the people I’m close to- family, friends, former teachers. The course-correctors of my life. I’ve written the thank-you’s I didn’t want to tell someone else that I wished I’d of done, when I could have.

    In that vein I’d like to add my thanks to you, Jenny, and your mad brilliance and the right words (now drawings) that fly like missives from your taxidermied HQ, straight to the hearts of those who felt so alone. And thank you to your family, who’ve been so gracious to share you with your tribe. We are blessed.
    Be well.

  74. I’m going to get out my lovely DVD “Singles” a movie by Cameron Crowe that really captured the Seattle of the late ’80’s. Chris has a couple cameos that you’ll enjoy.

    (One of my favorite movies. I can almost quote the whole thing. ~ Jenny)

  75. I’m sorry for your loss. Just because you never met it is still YOUR loss. Grieve for him because he touched you in profound ways.
    I am happy that you got to tell him how much he meant to you. ” Never take one moment for granted for we are not promised a tomorrow”~~Anonymous
    So I take this opportunity to tell you how you have touched my life in very profound ways in the words that you have tuned into books.
    Mahalo, Jenny Lawson….

  76. I was just listening to him last night thinking I can’t wait till he puts out another cd. This ducking sucks. Please everyone who is really sad do one thing today to make yourself happy. Color or get your nails done just one thing.

  77. Jenny, I didn’t know Chris or his music but I do now. And that’s the good, even the most smallish amount, that always seems to be there if we dig for it. Thank you for using your voice to amplify his. I’ll be listening now.

  78. I agree. Never knew much about him, and actually, his music never touched me. But somehow his untimely death has affected me greatly and I am so very saddened for his family and friends. I suppose in part, because he was dealing with the demons that those of us in your community are all too familiar with and I am heartbroken that they won. I have been fighting those demons so much of late, and I know I’m lucky to still be fighting. My love goes out to all who knew him and especially his family. I hope that peace comes sooner rather than later. 💔

  79. Speaking of telling people when they do something good for you, a friend gave me Furiously Happy as a gift, because she thought the humor matched me (yeah, been a fan for ages — she was right there). I was sitting on the sofa laughing, and my extremely anxious teen son came and snuggled up next to me and asked what was so funny. I asked him if he remembered about Beyonce the chicken, and of course he did. “Well, this is her second book,” I said. “It’s about mental illness, basically, and yet funny as hell.” He started reading over my shoulder. When I put down the book to go to bed, he picked it back up. We took turns reading past each other over the next day or so and pointing out to each other parts we particularly liked.

    My son has really severe anxiety. He’s pretty disabled, and we struggle a lot with it sometimes. Laughing over a book with your kid? Super. Pointing out to each other stuff that rings true about anxiety and depression and talking about why? Incredibly valuable. Reading that all from somebody who is surviving and making other people laugh? Priceless. Thank you. I genuinely believe that your book gave my son a measure of hope and strength.

    He had to do a “choice book” for school (9th grade) and couldn’t figure out why he shouldn’t get credit for having just read a book. He took it in, screwed up his courage, and handed it to the teacher to get permission to use it for his choice book. She flipped through it a little, and gave it the thumbs up. Later, he told me all he could think about while she was looking over the book was “please, please don’t stop on a page that says vagina.”

    One of his friends wound up taking the book from him and reading it too. He took it home, and his mother wound up reading it after he got done. In fact, that whole family down to the 3rd grader read it. But the third grader had to be told what words from the book she could definitely NOT say at school.

    xoxo

    E

    (I needed this. Thanks. ~ Jenny)

  80. Thank you! It is nice to know I am not alone in my broken heart. So much of his music is a huge part of my life and right now I feel broken. Some people don’t understand my tears because I didn’t know him personally. It’s good to know others feel the same way I do! I have seen him live twice, with soundgarden and solo. He is very much missed.

  81. Oh, and you’re absolutely NOT crazy for crying about someone you never met. One day I will lose my musical muse and I know that I will be inconsolable, whether I have finally met him by then or not. He has been my guide for over 30 years and touched my life in ways he may never know. But I love him nonetheless because of how he has touched my heart from afar.
    I did get to meet one of my top 5s after becoming internet friends he invited me to a show. And I did get to thank him when I met him briefly even before that. And I’m grateful. Though I think I’ll reach out to him again, just to make sure he remembers. And I’ll make more of an effort to reach out to the other one as well. Thank you, Jenny.

  82. Decided to hit up whatsyourgrief.com and saw Jenny got a happy shout-out in a May 3rd post on their site. #tribe

  83. So terribly sorry that you are grieving for your friend and hero. Please know that we are all here for you, my dear Bloggess, and that YOU are our inspirational friend and hero.

  84. His voice alone was miraculous but then add in the lyrics, and I too was moved to tears many times. It is so unreal to me how much music and musicians touch our soul and yet struggle so much themselves. I am sure that your words of gratitude were appreciated more than you know. I hold your hand, even if just virtually, in support and camaraderie during this time of grief.
    https://goo.gl/images/h9fbp8

  85. I’m crushed. I have known Chris since I was 14, as a neighbor and a fan. I went to his shows and saw him at the dog park. Today has been surreal. I have never lost someone who is also a “celebrity.” I just keep thinking about him at the park… Goddamn Chris.

  86. …then let me take a moment to say thank you to YOU for putting words to feeling I have, and making me feel normal. Or ok to be abnormal! <3 to you.

  87. Thank you for this post, I woke up devastated by this news. Chris music got me through some dark, dark times. I reached out today to a friend who also used Chris music to help them through the ragged road of growing up. The conclusion is that today sucks but we are so thankful for the years of music Chris & sound garden provided us.

  88. It’s such an empty feeling when we lose someone that has touched our soul even if we haven’t met them. He is also a large part of my childhood. His voice….the words….thankfully those things will continue to live on, but it’s such a sad shame that he felt that he couldn’t. On a side note…if you haven’t listened to Twenty-One Pilots give them a try. The lead singer writes the songs and he dealt/deals with depression. The words hit home, but their catch phrase is “Stay Alive”. They are popular with the younger crowd, my teen got me listening to them and they are amazing.

  89. Devastated, crushed, and hurting. I’ve followed Chris and Soundgarden/Audioslave/Temple of the Dog for most of my life, through some dark teenage and college years. Chris’ ‘Songbook’ has played on repeat many a tough day for me.

    I would’ve seen them next Saturday for the first time.

    Thank you, Chris. May you find peace.

  90. Temple of The Dog – “Times of Trouble”
    Go back to this and listen to the vocal prowess, and the message within it.

    @WriterDann

  91. I felt the exact same way when Michael Jackson died..as if suddenly a very bright light in the center of the universe had gone out and there was nothing anybody could do to fix it. ::hugs::

  92. When I saw the news this morning the first thing I did was confirm with other news outlets. I couldn’t believe it. I’m devastated. Living in the Seattle area, his voice has been a constant in my life for decades–I’m having a hard time accepting that it’s silenced forever.

  93. Thanks Jenny. Few of us were talking about this this morning…most people didn’t even know who he is. Just saw they ruled it a suicide and feels like being suckerpunched in the chest. Again. Sucks so much (also apparently you have great taste in music; I was kind of surprised when I came to your site, but I guess it makes sense). Anyone who can take it, look for the lithium fell on black days. They play it on octane occasionally, it’s unplugged and gorgeous

  94. Life’s a bitch then you…but in between grab those small sometimes wonderful moments ’cause we all have them so enjoy the heck out of them, put them in a memory treasure chest and rifle through it whenever you need to. Now might be the time because you were lucky enough to see him live

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  95. My heart aches in a way that has no words. I’m mourning with you. Thanks Jenny, for sharing your trials and tribulations, you are amazing.

  96. I was so sad when I saw the news, his voice and music were the soundtracks of my life. Am devastated now hearing it was suicide. Goddammit.

  97. I’ve been trying not to cry, but the video you embedded broke me. Such an ethereal voice and such a talented man and such a loss to his family and to us. I also echo Kristy’s sentiments about Robin Williams. So unreal.

  98. Right there with you. My five year old is unsure why daddy is bummed today. I had to explain to him let somebody who I used to know a little bit (okay it’s a white lie) died today. So we’ve shared the songs on Songbook and he said the most amazing thing to me. He said “Daddy,he sings nice, but his songs are sad sometimes”. And now I’m crying again.

  99. Jenny, do you have any idea how many times you’ve been my voice? Your words helped me keep doing the hard work of finding a treatment that worked for a tricky-to-treat mental illness. Thank you.

  100. I really don’t have anything to say about this particular Season of Grief, other than that he was WAY too damn young. Your DM to him is beautiful, and I want YOU, Jenny, to know that YOU have been a great lifeline for ME (not that my D ever sends me down a road of wanting to end it all, but you know). I am so blessed to have found you. Please keep doing what you’re doing, because you’re really great at all of it (coping, cheerleading, mommying, wifing, daughtering, blogging, doodling, making tiny ferris wheels and fairy homes, etc.ing).

  101. I’ve never been so completely rolled by a celebrity death. I don’t know how to process this. I’ve been using his music to talk me out of this BAD FUCKING IDEA since I was 16. So, 24 years ish.
    Now what do I do?
    Nothing fucking permanent, but, I just…. Fuuuuck.

  102. This is devastating. We have lost so many great artists in the last year and a half. But let me also take this opportunity to let you know that you are one of those amazing influences.Yourwriring has saved me and been one of the voices telling me that I’m not alone. Thank you for being who you are.

  103. I openly wept at work upon hearing the news. And then an Audioslave song came on the radio on my drive home from work. Fuck.

  104. He was simply amazing, and his death is devastating. Artists are always happy to hear how they have touched someone’s life, because that’s why they do what they do. And as usual, I want to tell you, because it can’t be said enough times, how you have changed me for the better by sharing your struggles with us so we know we’re not alone. Thank you for being, Jenny.

  105. Today I received a copy of You Are Here from the booksgiving a couple days ago. I’m in a position where I’m doing everything I can to make other people’s life better. I’m taking care of a disabled mother-in-law, a recovering husband, and a suicidally depressed best friend (and a neurotic cat). I’m also working a physically taxing part time job. I’m experiencing caregiver burnout to the nth degree. But this book came in the mail with no warning and no note. I don’t know who sent it to me, but thank you. With every breath that is in me, thank you thank you thank you so very much. It is a tangible confirmation that someone cares. Not because they have to, or because I’m doing something for them, but because I exist. Thank you.

  106. Brilliant minds, artistic souls…they have so much inside them, so much to say…they burn so bright. My heart aches that we lost a beautiful soul…

  107. I was never a huge grunge/alternative fan. I appreciated their music and liked a few of their songs and marveled at Eddie Vedder’s amazing musical ability (Pearl Jam was definitely my fav or the big five of that time period) but never connected really closely with it. Until Chris’s solo album Euphoria Morning and then I got it. There is not one track on that album that didn’t speak to me. That record got me through some really dark and hard times. His voice, for me, is that of an angel. I’m still trying to wrap my head around this loss.

  108. I was never a fan of Chris or Soundgarden, but this post was beautiful and moved me to tears. I’m also in tears over the me from a couple weeks ago, lying on the living room floor and thinking about all the different ways she could kill herself and how much she wished she had the guts to do something with one of them them. This post reminded me why I’m glad I didn’t make it a reality.

  109. My radio station played his version of Prince’s “Nothing Compares 2 U” because apparently they WANT me to have an accident because I’m crying and trying to drive. And all I could think was, I’ll never hear that voice live, and all that power and pain that spoke to and for me was too much for him to stay. And that hurts more than I could have guessed.

  110. My radio station played his version of Prince’s “Nothing Compares 2 U” because apparently they WANT me to have an accident because I’m crying and trying to drive. And all I could think was, I’ll never hear that voice live, and all that power and pain that spoke to and for me was too much for him to stay. And that hurts more than I could have guessed.

  111. I listened to Like a Stone over and over and cried today as well. Depression lies! And it always takes the kind and feeling ones away…. the creative souls that seek to connect to one another… as if it’s afraid to let us feel we are not alone. I am always weak when I hear someone lost the good fight. If you don’t know like a stone ( audio slave) it’s one to weep to. It speaks volumes and I wonder if he did indeed call out the the angels to greet him. He was your voice… and have been mine…… this is my DM to you… oh and PS my dog ate your book and I’ve been trying to send you the photo to make you laugh… when your ready for THAT story let me know! Cry tonight but laugh tomorrow and we will all beat this thing!

  112. Your post hit me hard- thank you for the reminder to always let others know how much love you feel and what they mean to you now- just in case. I want to echo so many others who have no doubt already told you that YOU are so very important to me. Your furiously happy audible book was the only thing I could stand to listen to during the darkest period of my life I have ever endured. Your words were the floating wreckage I clung to in the violent seas of depression when I longed for the waves to drag me under. Thank you for all you have done for me and thank you for your continuing courage as you openly share your struggles. You give me the courage to be open and real. You inspire me to be furiously happy.

  113. Was totally devastated when I saw it in the headlines this morning. Husband was telling me someone said that during his last show, he seemed off and that it looked like he was struggling to continue singing. Wish he had been able to reach out to someone… You’re so right though… too late does come too soon.

  114. I want to go with him. I can’t, I made a promise. But I want to.

  115. Beautifully written as always. I cried when I heard the news, cried harder later on when I thought about how much he was hurting, and then sobbed uncontrollably when I read your blog. I’m so glad you were able to be twitter friends with him and got to tell him how much he meant to you. I’m sure he felt good when he read your DM and I know you’re rightfully happy that you expressed such an important connection.

    I think I’m in the minority here, but I think Chris is no longer suffering and I can take comfort in that. His loved ones are devastated and I am in no way saying suicide is the way out. Keep fighting. I am and will continue to rage against the dying of the light. All I mean to say is that Chris is at peace now and should not be faulted for making the choice to end his pain. The battle is hard and I’m sure he fought valiantly. The rest of us will soldier on. Call on the loved ones you have and use the hotline if/when needed. We all need each other. I hope I didn’t offend you or any of your readers. Thank you for being our voice and our cheerleader. I don’t have the right words to express myself any better.

  116. RIP Cornell, You were my common ground with my husband, one of the reasons that we met and connected so well. You were a man of so much soul in your song that it mad people cry hearing it on the radio.

    Here’s to hoping you found the peace you were looking for even if it was not the best way to find it.

  117. You nailed it. Feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach. I’m devastated. Even more so that he chose to take his own life. 🙁

  118. I’m sorry to say I didn’t know his work. But I know. I wept hard over Bowie.

  119. well said. such a huge loss. I shed a tear or two yesterday as well. RIP Chris.

  120. I woke up yesterday morning to my husband standing over me, waking me to tell me that Chris Cornell was dead. A year and a half ago, I got surprised with an early Christmas present. Knowing how much I loved Chris Cornell’s voice, my husband and his brother got me into a tiny little show in Philly. I stood 10 feet from him, in a room filled with only a couple hundred people. It was one of the most magical nights of my life.

  121. Possibly my first comment–at most my 2nd. The DM you sent gave me chills.
    He was an incredible talent. His version of Ava Maria is like nothing I’ve ever heard. I think for me, seeing someone so influential in my teen years (yes, when grunge was breaking big & finally there were weirdos and outcasts that “got” me) pass somewhere after the initial wave (Andrew Wood, Kurt Cobain) but still too soon, just gutted me. I know how cliche’ it is, but I will never understand how artistic talent that has touched so many people can’t see a reason to go on. 😢

  122. He is/was the Ultimate Rock God. I too am one of many to cry out loud for him. Robin Williams and Chris Cornell.. WTF. We have got to do better with the mental health epidemic. We need new leadership. Caring hearts with good intent. Not a spoiled child with a spray on tan. RIP Chris Cornell. You were loved more than you’ll ever know. Temple of the Dog.. repeat.repeat.
    From:
    NW DJ

  123. This is the song that was in my head all night. I live in Seattle and Chris was loved by everyone.

  124. He was one of my crushes. His voice also made me cry. He will be missed and yes, depression is a liar. Please reach out if any of you ever feel desperate. You are important in someone’s life and this feeling you have now is what those left behind will feel so remember this moment in time and bring it forward when you are down.

  125. Chris Cornell was a beautiful man with a beatiful voice. Say hello to Heaven for us Chris. I hope his wife and children find some kind of comfort or peace in the greatness that he shared with all of us. Jenny you are right, depression lies, but it also steals, taking people we love from us.

  126. Happened Friday night our time. Now it’s Monday morning here and I’m still devastated and not in a good place. Had no idea he was One of Us.
    Had a dream that there was a huge long line of us, standing on the edge of an abyss and all holding hands as tight as we could. Every now and then somebody just gets too tired and can’t keep holding on, I guess.
    I’m glad you got the chance to say thank you, for all of us.

  127. This one hurts. Not because,I was a huge Soundgarden fan, but because I heard Black Hole Sun and created a tattoo because of it. And because his voice spoke pain to me. And because he was me. He was us, the ones who are wounded and hide it so well.

  128. the man was probably in pain for a long, long time. that’s what hurts the most.

  129. <3 <3 <3 Thank you for sharing all the stuff you do in the way you do. You just make the world better.

  130. I wrote my own blog post about Chris. My husband was a musical product of Grunge and Chris was his favorite of the “big 4”. Soundgarden, Audioslave and any solo music of Chis Cornell’s played all weekend. In the house, in the barn, on the polaris ranger, cars, 4wheelers… everywhere. He is still upset. I loved his voice and will miss his presence in this world.

  131. I got a little behind reading the blog, you know, paying job and all that crap. But I also remembered that I took a pause after reading this entry because it was so raw and real to me. Soundgarden and the Gin Blossoms always stood above the other 90s grunge bands. Learning about the sad history of Doug Hopkins of Gin Blossom somehow wasn’t nearly as hard as hearing the news that Chris Cornell had succumbed to depression too. I really thought he had beaten his demons. Those two bands were the voice to my teen angst and to this day, still give voice to that angst.

  132. I loved Chris too. Saw him with Soundgarden and once solo. Loved Audioslave but never got to see them :(. Gone too soon!

  133. It took a while to sink in, but as I was returning a Zipcar last weekend, “The Day I Tried to Live” came on the radio, and I had to pull over to weep. It just hit me all at once hearing a not-terribly-popular (but musically and lyrically brilliant) song that I first heard as a teenager and thought “oh, this guy gets me.” And he’s gone. And it all came back to the darkest point of depression for me where someone grabbed me and said “you matter to me, no matter what you’re thinking and feeling about yourself right now.” That friend saved my life…we all have our heroes, known and unknown.

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