I am actually leaving the house tomorrow. WTF.

in Random Crap

So tomorrow (Tuesday) I’m actually leaving the house and driving to Austin to be “IN CONVERSATION WITH” Samantha Irby (aka BitchesGottaEat).  I never do “IN CONVERSATIONS WITH” because I hate small talk and “IN CONVERSATIONS WITH” = small talk but multiplied with microphones and people watching me not be able to remember the word for that feeling you get when you know there’s a word for something you can’t remember the word for.  But I’m making an exception because I fucking love Samantha Irby, and her book (WE ARE NEVER MEETING IN REAL LIFE) is fabulous and the title seems like a dare.  Also we have the same unfiltered, dark sense of humor so I suspect we’ll skip small talk and go straight to the terrible and fascinating things that normal people never get to until they are very drunk.  Or maybe we’ll have a dance party or sing old commercial jingles or just have an awkward staring contest and do tequila shots until the time is up.  Hard to tell.  But you should come if you can.  It’s at BookPeople in Austin at 7pm.

Also, BookPeople always takes orders for my books and I personalize them when I stop in, so if you want to order some just click here and they’ll ship it off to you. Just write whatever you want me to write in your book on the order form.  Perfect for introverts.

Also, this isn’t a real post so to make up for it I’m giving you a seductive otter:

Rowr.

86 thoughts on “I am actually leaving the house tomorrow. WTF.”

Read comments below or add one.

  3. I say you ask them to set up a blanket fort and you guys do your talk from inside it where no one can see you…
    Also, Larry – rawr and stuff… wait, that’s supposed to sound like a cat and not a dinosaur…

  5. You probably don’t need this written on your arm anymore before public-ish enaggements (but I still friggin LOVE the advice Neil Gaiman gave you)…
    “pretend your good at it.”

  6. Leaving the house, YES! You are ahead of me. God help me. Larry is HAWT! 😍❤️

  7. For the record, watching people try to remember the word for that feeling you get when you know there’s a word for something and you can’t remember it is generally pretty entertaining to me.

  9. This event is the only reason I have ever, EVER, wished I lived in TX. Two of my favorite authors in the same place, totally unscripted, possibly overdosing on anxiety meds. Will someone please tape this??? This is an event made for YouTube.

  10. You are fabulous! Go forth and share that fab eith some peeps in Austin, Jenny, I will be holding good thoughts for you!

  11. That otter. Wow. I had to laugh. hehehe
    And thank you for your posts, Jenny. Anything and everything you share is wonderful. (I hope your IN CONVERSATION WITH thing goes well!) 🙂

  12. 😂😂😂😂😂😂That otter…. Rowr….
    And good for you getting out of the house AND doing something you don’t do. That totally counts as two wins. Will this be recorded? Because Texas is too far and I work tomorrow and it’s hot outside. I’m thinking yes because you said microphones. I’m anxious (in a good way) to see (hear?) the result. Now I must go tend to the cats because I put too much catnip out and strange sounds are emanating from upstairs… 😬

  14. I really want to be a part of this community but I don’t know how to begin. #awkwardintrovert

    Also. Seductive otter is my new best friend.

  17. Well there is another book to add to my wish list! I wish it was a broadcast I could get here in Minnesota..although I think my co-workers all know exactly when I read your blogs because I cannot help but laugh out loud, which may be bad for an entire podcast.

  20. Larry has some serious moves and might be a perv, but…WHO CAN RESIST LARRY??
    Have fun with Samantha, wish I could be there to see you two beauties in the same room.

  21. Tried to reply earlier but had to wait til my heart settled down after watching Larry. 🙂

    Have a great trip, have fun, but take care of yourself and try not to overdo it too much. Hey…maybe you’ll find your missing blood!?!? oxox

  23. Austin?! Come early and come visit my home studio where I hide for days/weeks doing shit like gluing plates together!

  24. Did anyone else find themselves mirroring Larry’s moveme….no,nevermind.

  27. Read an essay by her………..you ARE going to LOVE it. Oh, Heidi as the right of it….FILM IT!!
    Love YOU!!

  29. I hope you have a great time Jenny doing the interview in Austin. It’s a pity we can’t watch it in Australia. I’m sure you’ll crush it.

  30. LOVE Samantha Irby! Never Meeting and Furiously Happy are my favorite books on my shelves! Looking forward to hearing about the talk/cocktail party!

  31. I just got this book & can’t wait to start it. And I know you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover, but the cover (angry cat) + the title was just too much to pass up because introverts.

    Can’t wait to hear about your non-small talk, non-normal, terrible and fascinating things conversation.

  32. Well , I was writing quite a good comment, but the meal I ordered arrived, and I’m in San Miguel de Allende, Mx…im outside and believe me it’s bright and a lot cooler than Texas. I’m a Texan, love Texas but hate the yucking weather Summer lasts 8 months out of 12. Now I’m getting frustrated while typing because the writing does make me want to scream. Changes immediately even if I proof read
    Dark humor is the most hilarious and lots of people don’t get it
    Sadly they stay on the dark. When I read your book, Let’s pretend This never Happened, I had t laughed out loud in forever.
    I can still laugh when I think of what you wrote. Keep writing !

  33. Good luck! It should go better than me tweeting Seth McFarlane and calling him the devil, while asking him if he could sing at my wedding.Just sayin

  34. Yay!! She’s awesome, and so are you. I hope you have as much fun as I suspect you might.

  35. You could forget everything you were saying and just start rambling that Larry is your soul mate and it would be the best talk ever. When you get up and talk you shine even if you want to run away. I’m sad I won’t get to see it. I would totally move to Texas so I could see more of your talks but I feel that’s sort of stalkerish 🤷🏼‍♀️

  36. This is the best news ever. I LOVE Samantha Irby and you! I don’t know if the universe will be able to stand that amount of funny in one room!

  37. Not-so-seductive otter. Cute maybe? but really made me think of a construction worker cat-calling all the women on the street – “Hey pretty lady (tongue-wagging)! Wanna dance?? (butt-wiggling) What’s your name?? You should smile more!” (SORRY if I ruined the vid for anyone!) #sorrynotsorry

  38. My son lives in Austin, taking summer classes at UT and pulling a few shifts a week at a 7-11.

    I think you need to randomly show up and play the Larry the Otter video for him. Then order a pack of smokes and a scratch-off ticket so as not to look too out of place.

  39. Ooooommaagaaww!! I LOVE seductive otter! He has me laughing tearfully! (I don’t get around enough!) I will be checking on Ms. Irby and her blog and book.

    Oh yeah, GO BOOKPEOPLE!! One of my favorite places to go whilst in Austin!! Hell, I might go tomorrow night if I have enough spoons.

  41. Good for you & AWESOME would love to be there. I just got a sample of that book a little while ago, gonna start reading soon

  42. Good luck! Time slows down and my tongue becomes too large for my mouth and my eyes roll back in my head and I can’t breath and the only thing I can hear is my heart beat when I have to talk in front of people. I’ve actually been paid NOT to talk in front of people. So, if you don’t get hooked off the show with a very long cane, you’re already better than I am. I hope it goes wonderful. :o)

  43. I’m going to be in Austin next week! I’ve never been to Texas before but I’m going to find BookPeople. Are there any signed copies of your book there cuz I’m going to buy one! (Maybe you could leave one in a secret hiding spot for me, wink wink).

  44. Thank You sooo much for the intro to Ms. Irby. Her blog is right up my humor alley. I am going to try to make tomorrow night but I just ordered her book from Bookpeople without even looking at it! Seeing the both of you In Discussion is going to be a RIOT!

  47. So much awesome in one room! I wish BP streamed their talks! Congrats for getting out among ’em, Jenny.

    Larry is definitely bonus material. Mrowr! eyebrow waggle

  50. I guess this is great? – Many people don’t have the luxury of choice whether to go out every day to work no matter how it batters them.

  51. I am both excited and in awe of you.

    Bloggess tribe, I know I am a relatively new member here (having discovered Jenny back in September),, but I feel I need to get something out. For the last nineteen days I have been in the hospital, largely incoherent.. The official diagnosis has to do with medication interactions. I came home yesterday but need physical therapy and will be unable to work for a while. From my mother’s status updates while I was out it was actually rather serious and I was on life support for some time. I remember very little, but I’m pretty shaken now. I just… Feel like there is a good vibe here and maybe talking about this here will help.

    (I’m glad you’re here. Be well, sweetness. ~ Jenny)

  52. May I go with you? I adore both you and Samantha. You don’t have to talk to me. And I can wear a disguise so I look like a friendly neighborhood animal…

  53. Pingback: I am actually leaving the house tomorrow. WTF. - Hybird Spinner News

  54. Thanks to you I have been reading the Bitches Gotta Eat blog and loving it! I can’t wait to read her books as well. You guys are going to have an awesome conversation!

  56. Jenny, I have a book waiting to be personalized at the BookPeople. I got my order in just a little too late the last time you were there, so have been waiting patiently for your next visit. Wish I could be there in person. Thanks so much, in advance! This one is for ME! (Have given duplicate copies of all your books to others who needed them.)

  57. I’ve seen videos on YouTube of some of your talks, and although I know you’re always nervous in front of people, I’ve never seen you fuck it up beyond repair (like I would!). So good luck tomorrow! And thanks for the otter.

  58. heather26r – Thank you for sharing and trusting “the tribe”. Sending you healing energy and hugs to you and your loved ones.

  59. Leaving the house? You are Bad. Ass. I avoided making phone calls because, you know, people. You might inspire me to make a call tomorrow, but just one.

  62. Aphasia. The word you might be looking for is aphasia. Or at least partial aphasia. Maybe. It is defined as an impairment of language abilities or loss of vocabulary. Mostly due to brain damage. Okay then, let’s assume NOT. But here’s a weird one for you. Some years ago I had an accident in which I hit my head. Hard. Cracked a chip out of my eye socket, split open my forehead to the bone, etc. At the hospital I absolutely could not come up with the word for “water.” In fact, it eluded me pretty much every time I tried to say it for the next several months as did a few other words that I pretty much had to use “word association” type methods to be able to come up with. Here is the weird part. I was able to tell the staff at the hospital that I had “partial aphasia.” Yeah, okay I have a bachelor’s degree in psychology so I had THAT kind of vocabulary knowledge. But I couldn’t find the word for water. And I couldn’t convince the hospital staff that I had anomic aphasia….because I knew the word for aphasia. Or more specifically and accurately, anomic aphasia. Which is “word-finding difficulties.” Go figure. NARF!

    I would tell you to “break a leg,” but at this point I’d be afraid you might do it to avoid this interview. Love ya!

  63. I hope you can enjoy the experience and your enjoyment exceeds the anxiety by a factor of billions. I managed to go out for a meal last week, I paid for it afterwards, but just being out for none medical appointment reasons felt so good that it was totally worth it.

  65. Well, I guess this means I have to go back to the bookstore. That was the first book I picked up possibly because of the angry wet kitten, and the description sounded right for me, but I was like “No, start with the clearance pile. I hope I can find some Laurie Notaro.”

  66. Ah Darn! I was just in Killeen over the weekend to visit my grandbabies – Austen is like 45 minutes away. 🙁

  67. So, it is still early and my glasses are a little blurry, so I thought that said you were leaving a “seductive offer”. And when I clicked the play button, I was very, very confused.

    Seductive, indeed.

  68. I ordered a bookstore. I didn’t think to write something for you to write though. I hope you wrote something super cool though. Lol. 🙂 Either way I know I will love it. And thank you in advance. I loved the video. I have been in a very bad place lately and really needed that laugh.

  73. Heather hope
    You feel better soon. Be gentle with yourself as you recover.

    I also vote with the person who think Larry is more creepy than seductive.
    He totally minds me of when Nick Offerman played the creepy cousin on the Gilmore girls

    I Love otters but I might be willing to make an exception for Larry. Or
    At least him on the muzzle and tell them to go to sober up

  75. Wow!! You are so brave and an inspiration (no pressure or anything). I am a teacher so I am basically forced to leave my house 185 days a year. I work with 6 year olds though so I guess it’s a good thing that in my head, I sometimes act/think like one. Actually, I’m 4’7″ so I pretty much look like one, too…only less cute..and MUCH less bendy and active.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say that you are awesome to do something that “scares” you (I am totally putting words in your thoughts, or whatever that expression is)! I wish I could come to the book signing to (A). get my book signed…wait, I have the audible version. I don’t know how that would work. and (B) support you…moral support (even though I don’t really know you).

    Alas, it is geographically impossible for me to be in Austin, bc I’m in NH. And, if you were signing your book closer to me, I’m not sure I would be BRAVE enough to go out of my house and be in a big crowd of people. I would be terrifyingly looking at the floor, and if anyone happened to look down and wonder why that “little woman” has tears in her eyes, all they would see is the top of my head, which definitely needs a root job!

    Your books are awesome and I connect with all of them!!

  76. OK…I just reread your original post and now I feel dumb bc it WASN’T a book signing. I think you’re even MORE courageous for doing the “In Conversation With” event. You rock! And…I need to read/listen to Samantha’s books!

  79. You mean there’s two of you out there, oh sweet Jesus, Christmas came early. Thanks for the recommendation. I simply can’t wait. Oh, and the reason you hate small talk is because it’s the the worst thing ever. Yes, I exaggerate, but just to make a point. It’s bad, real bad.

  80. If I want you to personalize my book with something that requires thinking, would you do it? Specifically, I recently saw this post on Instagram that said “What are things you can say both during sex and a funeral” and I want you to write something you’d think works, sign it, and send it to me. Will you do that? I don’t think anything is every too dark for you, right?

    (No problem. 🙂 ~ Jenny)

  81. Serving free lunches to kids at the library and catching up on your posts. Didn’t mute the laptop before I started playing the otter video. Did a spit-take with laughter before I could stop the music. Only the parents know what the music means, right?

  82. I also deal with a shit ton of autoimmune bullshit. Went low carb for a while, lost a few pounds too. Easier for me because I already had to give up bread because oh yeah gluten sensitivity. You probably have it too. Had to give up low carb because oh too much fat blew out my gallbladder. It mimics a heart attack, nothing big. Not a big deal. Oh wait it was on my birthday and when I texted in sick from the emergency room, my boss kept texting me about work on and on. I had my phone in the bed with me because I needed to phone my children/next of kin because I was in the ER via EMS because my dog couldn’t very well drive me there because he’s a chihuahua, and what if I tried to drive myself and died on the way and ran over a poor innocent person. Now on the bright side,they do give you excellent IV drugs at the ER, wbich kinda made it all worthwhile. Add remember… we’ll always have vodka.

  84. Pingback: Amending My Essay on Attempting to Read Essays | wanderinglynn

  85. I just got this book on Audible, because I needed something else to go with your books. I tend to wake up at like 2-3 am each night with a really heavy panic attack, I’ve found recently that an engaging audio book can allow me to keep the comfy in a bed sleeping position and still keep my mind engaged enough to not wonder how many things will explode the next day. I started with your two, added in some Trevor Noah, Caitlin Moran and Samantha is the newest addition. I listen to them over and over as I usually fall back to sleep listening and have to restart from where I remember each night, lol. Samantha’s well worth the read and/or listen!

    PS. To Jennifer in NH I’ll be one in the “How can she possibly be an introvert?” outfit with likely the same amount of root growth. And if we can get her to a good NH bookstore, I’m down. Daniel Webster Highway B&N?

Leave a Reply

MY BOOKS:


shop

Subscribe to the bloggess, y'all.

Enter your email address and receive notifications of new posts by email. It\'s like I\'m stalking you, but more efficient.

Archives

ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:

I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:

Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.

Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.

The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”.  Often irreverent, always honest.

Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.

Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

Beautiful Writers book: Writers! This coming-of-career memoir (w/ the BEST advice from celeb authors, real shit you haven’t heard) is life. A page-turning beach read doubling as how-to. #Magic

The Dating Days of Marta O: When I told my sister I was building a blog she said: “Do people still read blogs?” I do not know, but if YOU want to read it, here it is. Keep in mind, my stories about dating after 40 are for the brave.

CONNECTED: A Personal Journal for Ketamine Therapy Created by writer & patient Katherine Davis for this powerful clinical treatment. If considering ketamine for major depression, check out this essential tool.

Eye Candy: Ethereal original art and reproductions, streamable painting instruction & art journaling lessons for curious minds. Daydreams & mystics welcome.

Sylvia Shults, author and paranormal reporter: I sit in dark, spooky places so you don’t have to. Check out the award-winning Gone On Vacation: Haunted Zoos, Museums, and Amusement Parks, available in print and ebook.

Cake4Kids: We bake and deliver free birthday cakes to underserved kids who might not otherwise receive one.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: SO GOOD.

Discover more from The Bloggess

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading