I have so many questions.

in If I was a dog I'd be dead by now, Random Crap

Note: I’m an idiot.

So I have pneumonia again because of course I do and nothing is cutting this cough so today my doctor gave me some cough syrup and my first question was, “Why does it say ‘This is a RED LIQUID’ on the bottle?

Hunter S. Tomcat was intrigued as well.

And so I asked twitter and they were like, “I dunno.  Why does it say ‘Do not use on eyelashes’ on my flat iron?” which just gave me more questions.  But then a lot of people explained that it was to make sure you got the correct medicine from your pharmacist but the liquid is actually pink (like Strawberry Hill or blush box wine) so then I was paranoid that I’d been given poison, but my pharmacy never even has my antidepressants in stock so I doubt they’d have a bunch of poison handy.

But then it got even more complicated because it said “TAKE 10MLS BY MOUTH” but I don’t have a syringe to measure how much that is so I yelled, “HOW MUCH IS 10 MILLILITERS? at Victor and he was like, “Ten milliters of what?” and I was like, “I mean, 10 milliliters of anything?  Codeine juice, I guess?” because I just wanted to know how many teaspoons is in a milliliter, and also why is this even in milliliters?  Am I in Canada?  Because I paid too much for this medicine if so, and it’s not fair that I have to pay for healthcare and do math too.  And Victor was like, “WTF IS ‘CODEINE JUICE’ AND WHY ARE YOU PRICING IT?” and then I gave up explaining and went to the internet and Google was like, “I CAN HELP.  A MILLILITER IS .002 PINTS” which was not helpful at all.

But then when I did finally work out the conversion it didn’t matter because I couldn’t find the measuring spoons so I went online to find out if the spoons you use to stir tea are the same size as teaspoons (answer: not necessarily) but there was an image that you could use if you didn’t have measuring spoons that showed you how much a teaspoon of salt looked like in your cupped palm so I poured that much into my hand and then I considered spooning the syrup out of my hand to take it but then I’d have to wash the spoon so instead I just drank it out of my hand and then Victor walked by and was like, “Seriously?  THIS IS WHY YOU GET EVERY COLD.  YOU ARE LICKING YOUR OWN HAND.”  And that’s true, but technically I was licking medicine off my hand so I’m pretty sure that makes this whole thing moot.

PS. Victor vehemently disagrees and is currently buying me measuring spoons because he says my method is ridiculous and probably unsafe but I was actually supposed to have two handfuls of codeine juice (based on my math) and I only took one, so technically I was being conservative and responsible.  Victor disagrees on all counts.

PPS.  Spellcheck is insisting that “milliliter” is not even a real word and for once I feel like spellcheck has my back.  It also is telling me that it doesn’t know what “spooning” is either and now I just feel a bit sorry for it and I suspect it’s hitting on me.

242 thoughts on “I have so many questions.”

Read comments below or add one.

  2. It might be marked that it’s red liquid because some people (like myself) are allergic to red dyes. I mean it should be obvious when you look at it that it’s red don’t drink it if you’re allergic to red dyes, but maybe it comes up so the pharmacist (if they’re good) won’t give it to you in the first place.

  3. I would recommend the dosing syringes we use for my son’s Ritalin, but the only go too 8ml or something stupid

  4. I agree with your spellcheck – “milliliter” is not a word. Metric is for sissies.

  5. Aww, poor you! Pneumonia again! I’m from Canada so I (sorta) understand millilitres. On the odd times I’ve taken liquid meds, it came with an eye dropper, or sometimes the cap could be used for measuring. If not, I guess a palmful is a great alternative. Lol. Get better soon.

  7. I have never in my life wanted to shout, “You’re not the boss of my!” at a liquid bottle more than I do right now.

  8. I love your wonderful brain so much. The world is a fabulous place because you are here. I think your logic makes total sense, but I’m glad Victor is there to help you measure things. I hope you feel better soon!

  10. you are the reason I still go into TSC and see a huge chicken and think “knock knock motherfucker” and I love that. As for codeine juice, I just put a liplock on it and take a swig. Peace to you, Jenny.

  12. My favorite is when they prescribe some completely random amount (that has to do with age and weight) so it’s not on any of the 800 medicine cups we have. There’s no quicker way to get a child to complain about taking medicine than to make them take it from the oral syringe.

  14. Yup, two teaspoons is correct. The coughing portion is always the worst with this illness. Do you have a humidifier handy to use?

  15. The pharmacy should have given you one of those little measuring syringes or cups. Sometimes you gotta ask for them though. I always save mine so I don’t have to ask again. I might have a lot of those in a cabinet right now.

  17. Sorry, but as a pharmacist, I find this fucking hilarious. Also, I don’t understand why the hell doctors still write scripts in milliliters. They should be required to write it in teaspoons. That said, I hope the codeine juice does its job and you get the cough taken care of so you can rest and get better!!

  18. Do you have any OTC cough medicine around? The little cups from the lid on top them often have both mL and tsp on them. I usually keep one or two or six of the old cup/lids in my junk drawer for such reasons.

  19. And this is why you need an Echo. I asked Alexa and she said 10ml is 2.03 teaspoons.
    Also WTH didn’t the pharmacy give you one of those teeny plastic cups that has the measurements? Or even better the spoon one with the ML marked off on the hollow handle? Pretty sure you need a new pharmacy.

  20. Most useful, having a shot glass with measuring lines on it in mLs and teaspoons. Plus, then you can feel fancy and describe your shots in mLs.

  22. Is red one of the colors colorblind people have problems with? Could that be part of the answer, along with the allergy to red dyes thing? Geez what a double whammy that’d be: allergic to red dye, and you can’t see it.

  23. I Love codeine juice! It is one of the few things that helps me sleep. I hope you feel better soon.

  24. Hope ypur not-actually-red-but-pink liquid helps and you feel better soon!!

  26. Your pharmacist should have given you a medicine spoon. Which is 5 ml. Surely they know you by now? 😀

  28. It’s millilitre & 1 tsp = 5 millilitres. Being Canadian, for some reason we are big in “er” being made “re” – example – SportsCentre = Canadian, SportsCenter = American. However, I don’t know why!

  30. I usually just swig straight from the bottle, but I have no class and I am uncouth. My poor mother, she tried so hard.

    You have pneumonia because you overdid it, Jenny. I am sending you hugs. PLEASE slow down. Please. We all want you to get better.

  31. Good one!! Laughed uproariously!
    I’m recovering from bronchitis and, of course, asthma. My mood was not the greatest after seeing two doctors today and getting lots more meds to take- yuk- But you cheered me up totally!! I’m glad we are not alone in our humanness and “fraiities”! 😉

  32. I say your method is more responsible than mine, I usually just swig a mouthful if the medicine doesn’t come with a measuring cup. Or if the cup is dirty, or not within easy reach.

  34. You (or Victor if he really wants you to have the right amount of codiene juice) should be able to go back to the pharmacy and ask for a dosing syringe.

    And the reason meds are in millimeters is because it is easier to figure out how many milliliters per kilogram of your weight of medicine you should have than it is to figure out how many ounces per pound.

  35. Please take care of yourself! I had a near-fatal (really) case of pneumonia back in May, and I’m still hooked up to compressed air. My new pulmonologist says “You should be breathing better than this by now,” in response to which I just managed not to snarl “Ya think?!” Do not follow my example, please. Rest, hydrate, and rest some more.

  36. I use medicine dose cups for crafting. I have, like 2500 of them. You want me to send you a sleeve of them for future shenanignans I mean medicines?

  37. You need Victor to go to the chemist and buy you a measuring cup with mls on it

  38. I’m with the group that says just take a swig. I’m allergic to codeine anyways so I never have to measure it. I hope you feel better soon

  39. I have a friend who, when she had to measure a third of a cup of flour or something, would dump a full cup on the counter and then draw lines in it with her finger to make pie wedges. I thought it was genius, especially if you only had the one measuring cup.

  40. It could be marked as red liquid to avoid it being… misappropriated… and then replaced with water or other liquid.

  41. The description is so that you know they are giving you the right thing, although it’s usually more applicable (and accurate) for pill descriptions. Usually, you can get syringes or measuring cups for medicine from your pharmacy. If they are out of ones to give you, they usually have something for sale as well. Most OTC syrups come with little cups for measuring, which is what I usually use. I just save a couple in my med cupboard for when I need them. Various brands will have slightly different markings depending on the recommended dose for that particular stuff, but usually you can figure it out. Good luck! I would hate to keep using my hand, it would get pretty sticky. Worst case, If I have no cups is to just take a sip as needed.

  42. Sorry you’re going through this. Could it be a computer virus? 😉 (Harharhar. I crack myself up. wipes eyes Tee hee.)

    If you’re sending Victor on errands, you can have him go back to the pharmacist to get a mL doser/oral syringe. They should have given you one in the first place, the bastards!

  44. Coughing. Choking. Laughing. 😂😂😂 I may need some codeine juice. Although I can’t take it because I’m allergic. Although the pharmacist said that just because it makes me very sick and vomity doesn’t mean I’m allergic at all. I suspect he’s been at the codiene juice. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  45. just go to the store and take one of those little dose cups off a bottle of Nyquil. I’m sure the store won’t mind

  46. There are 3 teaspoons in a tablespoon, so the earlier comment that 10 ml is half a tablespoon is off by a bit. It’s .66666666 etc of a tablespoon.

  47. I work as a pharmacy tech Jenny. 5 mls is a teaspoon, so 10 would be 2 tsp. The reason it states “this is a red liquid” is to let you know you have the right drug. It also helps us in the pharmacy to make sure pills are correct when dispensed. Sorry you’re sick again!

  48. yah, and just to add to the confusion, a cc is the same thing as an ml. Five of them make one teaspoon. For my work I am always having to figure things out by weight, so I need to convert from teaspoons to cc, because the instructions are always something like “1 teaspoon for every ten pounds” and I’m looking at a baby raccoon that weighs 500 g (less than a pound) so I have to reverse engineer the dosage. I don’t math in my head and I can never find paper so the formulas are all written on the walls of the baby animal nursery.

  49. Another reason it’s labeled red: if your poop turns a reddish color it’s probably just too much codiene juice.

  50. Pneumonia sucks so much. I hope the codeine juice, which sounds like it is squeezed from little codeine berries, makes you feel better soon.

  51. I would have just swigged it from the bottle lol! I’ve got LOTS of class… it’s just all third.

  53. I once had a doctor’s visit where not only did they loose my appointment between computer system migrations, but then after wards I got a prescription in the mail for 700mg, except it didn’t say for what. When I called to ask, they told me to discuss my blood work I would have to come into the office. “You sent me a prescription, I just want to know what it’s for because it seems like a lot.” Turns out it was vitamin D, but it really has me worried for a hot second.

  54. Hey. At least you were just drinking it from your hand cup. It’s not like
    You were trying to snort it or something

  55. Technically speaking, a swig is 10 ml … unless you like it… then its a gulp. All cough medicine should be cherry flavoured because I like it that way. Note the red drool in the corners of my mouth

  56. It looks like the cap might be an upside-down medicine cup, so look inside to see if there are lines to measure dosage. For future reference, you can buy a test tube like thing for measuring and for dosing kids’ liquid medicines, that would work for you. Although maybe your pharmacist will give you one for free. Please get better.

  59. The way to get the conversion you want in Google (I am a believer in teaching someone to fish) is to enter x ml (or whatever) in teaspoons (or whatever).

  60. I went through this last year. After realizing I had no way to measure I thought I’d just chug it like I do NyQuil. When I ran out the next day and contacted my doctor I was informed that it was supposed to last a week. Jesus fuck! Give me some way to measure! On a positive note, that shit works great if you chug it!

  61. I love that they tell you what your meds should look like just in case your pharmacist goes special while filling your order. I’m terrible in that if I can’t find a measuring spoon cup thing with my cough meds I just….guess.take a swig and go to bed. Your method sounds a lot more accurate.

  62. Jenny b (21) Careful – teaspoon – 5ml. Tablespoon – 15ml. So 10 ml is 2/3 of a tablespoon. In cooking – all good. With medicines, it is a bit more important.

  63. Medicine spoons can be bought at the pharmacy and they have both units of measurement, I still think the best think on a medicine bottle ever is on one of my liquid meds. Swish in mouth for 2 minutes—- then— Spit out or swallow– and I will just leave that comment right there

  64. 10mls is 2tsps (I use this conversion more than normal non-druggies do)… but I cant take codiene cuz I got addicted to it when they gave me it as a 12 year old… yes, I was a 12 yr old addict.

  65. Here I Brasil they give us a small graduated cup that shows the proper dosage, in mililiters, since we use the metrical system. If you want I can send you one.

  66. “Why does it say ‘This is a RED LIQUID’ on the bottle?”
    I’m going to guess that there’s a legal requirement that the appearance of the medicine being dispensed by the pharmacist be described.

    If you have a prescription for pills, then somewhere on the label (usually in microscopically tiny print that people like me need a magnifying glass to read) will be a line describing the pills as “oblong, white, 83-222” or “round, blue, G223” or “capsule, yellow/green”.

    Cough syrup doesn’t have any shape (other than that of the bottle, natch) and it won’t have any little numbers or symbols stamped on it, but it IS a red liquid, so they put that on the label.

  67. MillilitER is not actually a word… It is MilliltRE… Up here in Canada where we use the metric system we still use the “Queen’s English” where we spell things with extra letters and put RE instead of ER…
    You think it’s confusing for you guys? In Canada we are only taught the metric system (where everything is easily calculated in base 10s) and then most of our stuff is still measured in imperial. If we look in our flyers our meat is priced “per pound” and then if you look on the meat it tells you its weight in Kilograms.
    Or, we all know how tall we are in feet and inches yet our ‘official’ height on our drivers licenses is generally guessed at because we have to state it in Centimetres.
    And then we all measure distance in Kilometres and we buy gas by the Litre… and yet we talk about how many “Miles per Gallon” we get for gas in our cars.
    Basically nobody knows any of the actual conversions we just make things up as we go along and we generally survive. So I guess what I’m saying is, there is room for error in dosages so maybe your palm licking idea isn’t so bad after all?
    Feel Better Soon!

  68. Just as an FYI, it also tells you that the liquid is red so that, if you cough and your phlegm is red, you don’t jump to the alarming conclusion that you are coughing up blood. 🙂
    ~friendly neighborhood RN

  69. Tell Victor to make sure to get the measuring spoons that also have the milliliters on them!

  70. My son suffers from migraines and also has issues with swallowing pills, so we give him liquid ibuprofen and I use the cup from that to measure every liquid medicine. It’s just easier that way, for me anyway.

  71. All my pills describe themselves too- color and shape. Sort of comforting. Also, if I spill them, I can just check the description on the bottle 🙂

  72. Victor walked by and was like, “Seriously? THIS IS WHY YOU GET EVERY COLD. YOU ARE LICKING YOUR OWN HAND.”
    Does Dorothy Barker lick that hand? Seriously,
    I have to side with Victor on this one. But the pharmacy should know you by now and automatically give you a dosing spoon.
    Love ya, get better
    C

  73. Cajun chef Justin Wilson used his palm to measure salt. I can see you licking your palm and saying “I guar-ron-tee this is pure red Codeine Juice.”
    So yeah, I’m an idiot, too.

  74. The pharmacy gives away dosing syringes, or they should. Please get
    one and use it.

  75. Is it bad that I’ve got the Mary Poppins song stuck in my head now? “A spoonful of sugar… makes the medicine go down.”

    ok… maybe not too related OR this comment is a cryptic warning about what happens when you take an extra handful of codeine juice.

    How we BOTH get feeling much better soon Jenny.

  76. The last time I had codeine juice I just drank that shit right from the bottle. Close enough was good enough for me in the middle of the night.

  77. The pharmacy will give you a measuring string for FREE!!! Yep, that’s right… your insurance is worth every penny because the syringe is FREE!!!

  78. My biomom told me every spoon in the drawer measured a teaspoon when I needed medicine. She also said all mugs in the cupboard were 1 cup when I was baking… sometimes as an adult things start to make more sense… hahaha!

  79. What you need to do is go to your local Tractor Supply and buy some 10cc syringes for times like this. Syringes are much more fun than teaspoons or those plastic medicine measuring cups!

  80. Also, pickle, I’m not sure how useful for measuring string is for measuring liquids…

  81. I can’t be the only one here who wants to know more about MaryEllen’s (#48) baby animal nursery.
    Jenny, please rest! And when you’ve done that, rest some more.

  82. I totally thought the red dye notice was so you wouldn’t immediately think you were hemorraging out if you coughed up red stuff. Like if you eat red jello and then throw up and you think you’re dying. I just figured they wanted to give you a warning so you didn’t panic and bother the emergency room doctors while they’re pulling rebar out of someone’s spleen. Learn something new every day!

  83. My husband never measures liquid medicine when he takes it himself. He generally has a “slug” of it and then an additional “slug” if it doesn’t seem to be working.

  84. I had the same instructions with my codeine juice last time I had bronchitis. I guessed- still alive sooooooo

  86. Send Victor to Tractor Supply. You can buy veterinary syringes that go to 10 ml.

  88. Ah the codeine juice. That either gives me dreams so hilarious I wake myself up laughing, or dreams so horrible I wake myself up crying and/or terrified.

    I insist you go for the funny kind, and I hope you get better soon because doctors are weirdly stingy with that stuff. <3 <3 <3

  89. Jenny – totally random question here that is completely unrelated to your blog post lol! What specific medications do you take (if you don’t mind sharing)? Curious, because I just finished your book “Furiously Happy” (which I LOVED btw), and I can relate to you on so many levels. I am depressed and anxious and have tried SO many different meds with none showing much effectiveness. Just wondering if you had any advice on what has worked best for you?

    (I take more than 20 pills a day but most are vitamins and supplements my doctors recommend. I change my prescribed meds quite a bit because what works sometimes doesn’t always work but usually for mental stuff I’m on cymbalta, xanax, modafinil and a few compounding drugs. Sometimes Abilify if I’m doing poorly. Other meds are added and taken off as needed so it’s always changing every year. ~ Jenny)

  90. I was reading this and cracking up, and my husband asked why I was laughing so I tried to explain it, and just got a very droll stare. I think he would be best friends with Victor, so they can NEVER meet IRL please, or I’d never hear the end of it.

  91. If it helps: you should be able to buy 10mL syringes at the same pharmacy/drugstore where you get your prescriptions filled – I’ve had to get them for my son’s meds because he has a gastric tube (aren’t you glad you don’t have to deal with one of THOSE!). If they don’t have them on display, ask the pharmacy tech. If that doesn’t work, BEG the pharmacy tech and they’ll probably give you a handful from their stock just to make you go away (I speak from experience on that).

  92. I hate math, and my husband grew up in Canada so we have the dumbest arguments about measurements.

  93. Wow now I’m glad I got pain killing pills today instead of Canadian Metric Codeine Juice. It’s more of a “take one or two ” situation which is Kath I can manage. I’m having carpal tunnel surgery tomorrow……

  94. I worked in pharmacuticals, they say “this is a rwd liquid” because it helps you make sure you dont have fake medication. (Imagine it was white when you poured it, after seeing the warning.) My valium has a similar explanation.

    Also 10ml is two tsp. ❤ Enjoy the codeine juice, it tastes like sad ass. 😱😱😱😱

  95. The pharmacy will have little dosing spoons that measure ml for you. 😉 Just have to ask. They are meant for kids but I used mine for my codeine juice.

  99. I’ve been there, thankfully my other half works for CVS and helped me out. You can ask for a syringe dropper, like they give for children which has mills on it, then you get to squirt into your mouth like a funny and soon to be drugged gerbil.

  102. I’m sorry you got sick again but know that we love you and wish you a speedy recovery.

  103. This is why it’s handy to have toddlers in the house. I just use his baby Tylenol syringe for all that stuff.

  104. All medicines are labeled with a description of what it looks like. Go look at some of your pill bottles and they will say “this is a white round pill with 123 printed on one side” or some such thing. It’s so you can check that the pill in the bottle is the right one. 5mls is one teaspoon, 10 mls is 2 teaspoons, 15 mls is 3 teaspoons or one tablespoon. The pharmacy can give you a measuring thingie if you ask. Trust me on all this, I’m a nurse 👨‍⚕️

  106. I’m sorry your wonderful trip ended in an illness! And hoping you feel better real soon. I git nothin but sideeye for a pharmacy running out of your scheduled meds. I want to rant that it’s sloppy and unsafe.
    Just wondering if you’d be better served by having your scripts filled via mail order? Normally I’m very against mail-ordering things, especially when it takes skilled jobs out of the community, but if they are that lax about their inventory and your care, well then. They’ve made their bed, as my geandmother would say.
    Also I happened into a Compounding Pharmacy that’s near me. I’d been cutting pills in two, making my doseages uneven. Turns out I could get my meds formulated with her and it was significantly cheaper than my big chain pharmacy that should be getting volume pricing.
    Maybe nuts to the big stores-?

  107. Behind every dumb thing on a coffee cup (hot!) or flat iron (hot again!) is a realllly successful lawsuit.

  108. Mililiter isn’t a word because we spell it litre here in the metric countries.

  110. Codeine juice can make you constipated. And I think they use milliliters as a measurement because like you said, a teaspoon used for eating is not the same as an actual teaspoon, less dosage. Drink lots of water and feel better.

  111. Fun fact, ml’s is the same as cc’s. I learned this as I am having to force my bunny rabbit to take his brain parasite medicine, bottle gives dose in cc’s, syringe is in ml’s. Oh, and I also highly recommend Mucinex, if you’re not taking that already. Feel better.

  113. I still have pneumonia (resolving, by still), and no real lung ripping coughs, ever. Which is good because I’m allergic to codiene. No, it doesn’t make me sick, it makes me break out in hives. On my neck. I think slurping cough syrup out of your hand is a perfectly acceptable way to do it – no utensils ate dirtied, and you get all of it because you use your tongue.., Go you!

  114. The United States and Myanmar are the only two countries in the world that don’t use the metric system but, strangely, the US does use it for drugs. You probably should learn all about it in case you need to buy necessities like cocaine and marijuana instead of groceries. Oh, Jenny, just go for the cocaine juice and forget about teaspoons altogether.

  115. Someone mentioned this already, but I wanted to add that because (if memory serves me correctly), you have a thyroid-related condition and red dye isn’t great for thyroid health. At least that’s what I’ve been told before and I could be totally wrong, but it could explain it. I’m sorry I can’t explain this in a humorous way, but that’s my guess anyway.

  116. Aww Jenny. Not sick again. WTF?!

    Measurement Rules: a tsp is 5 ml (millilitres). A TB is 15. I’m Canadian.

    I also almost never measure cough syrup. Swigging is perfectly acceptable, and probably preferable. I just keep swigging until the coughing stops.

    Get better soon! xo

  118. If it makes you feel any better, I live in Canada and have to pay way too much for my codeine juice too – I don’t have any health benefits at my job – also, despite metric being something I grew up knowing, I still prefer imperial because my dad always used it and I used to help him build stuff. I should mail you a metric medicine cup. We have a stockpile here.

  120. My kids and grands are grown and gone, but I still use the measuring spoon thing I had when they were little. I don’t seem to be able to drop a photo of it here, but it’s called a Medicine Spoon at Walmart (about $3.00), My hands aren’t the steadiest, so it comes in handy for me. I tried it with the furkids, but they weren’t having it.
    Get well, girl!!!

  121. If you are taking codeine, TAKE A STOOL SOFTENER with it. Learn from my mistakes. I ended up in the hospital with constipation/impaction. It’s called Code Brown. Avoid Code Brown at all costs.

  122. I have three sets of measuring spoons. You could borrow one if you like. I also kept all the little measuring syringes and medicine droppers from when my kids were small. You could borrow one of those too, but my husband uses them for making beer, so I don’t know if that’s advisable. I guess my kids were sick a lot, but those measuring thingies sure come in handy.

  123. Aww Jenny, I’m so sad that you’re sick again. I’ve had pneumonia a few times myself & it’s the worst! It doesn’t seem fair that you make all of us so happy, and even when you’re sick you find a way to make us laugh. You’re the best, lady. Thank you again. I’m praying for a super-speedy recovery.
    Mo

  124. My pharmacy gives you either dosing spoons where you can pour/measure the liquid in and drink it out OR syringes where you can squirt it….squirting is where it’s at.

  125. I assume that the “red liquid” is on there for the same reason my prescription bottles have color descriptions of the pills… To make sure you didn’t accidentally get the wrong pills. That’s actually happened to me once before, the pharmacy gave me a stronger dose of a depression med then what I was prescribed, and the only way I found out was because the description on the bottle didn’t match the pills.

    Also, thank you for making me laugh so loud I woke my mom up.

  127. I have the unfortunate ability to turn any cold into pneumonia. It’s probably because of the immunosuppressants that I’m taking. So now every cold means serious rest. Try to relax so that you can get better.

  128. my estrogen replacement therapy is a ring-it says “insert one vaginal ring vaginally”-uh, duh?!
    hang in there, oh great one!

  129. …… I totally use my flat iron on my eyelashes.

    I use it to heat up my heated eyelash curler that doed like 7 years ago so that my eyelashes will curl because that squishy thing is definitely going to rip off my eyelid someday. totes not paranoid

  130. Pretty sure “WTF IS ‘CODEINE JUICE’ AND WHY ARE YOU PRICING IT?” needs to go on a t-shirt. Also, I love you so much. Thanks for making me laugh, #weridbrainsshouldsticktogether <- also possibly a t-shirt in the making.

  131. ‘Codeine Juice’ – hahaha! Next stop ‘Oxycodone Juice’ which is much more fun. Just don’t tell any drug dealers that you have it. Or any neurotic friends you might have. :o)

  132. I recommend convert anything to anything else. Its a website that really does convert anything…including olde English systems.
    measurements.

  133. I get phenergan with codeine all the time. I don’t measure anymore, I just take a swig from the bottle! It works for me.

  134. I mean…I would assume they tell you it’s red so if you vomit, you don’t think you’re puking up blood. Kind of what happens if you puke after you have beets or red koolaid?

    Am I crazy?

  135. When I was prescribed codeine juice, they gave it to me with a handy dosing spoon… I feel as though you were poorly equipped for this venture. Get well! 💜

  136. Jenny, I adore you. So I feel like I have to speak up and say this, because I’m worried for you.

    I think I posted here at least once or twice before chiding you for drinking while on Xanax, because doing so caused the death of my amazing brother. Now I think I need to be more specific/clear.

    My brother admitted to me about six or seven months before he passed that he had been taking Xanax for the major stress going on in his life at the time; only now, seven years later, do I realize that he never said he was prescribed Xanax, or that he was under a doctor’s care, so he probably got it from one of his friends. He was famous for being the Party King, so I reminded him about a dude we’d known years before that did Xanax washed down with rum EVERY DAY until he was nearly in kidney failure and went blind. “Dude, I know you like to drink, just be careful NOT to do BOTH, OK?” I’m fine, he says, I got this under control, stop worrying.

    Then he got pneumonia, bad enough to be hospitalized for several days, and that’s when I found out it wasn’t the first time, more like the third time in as many months. It cleared up, he went home, and BLAMMO, pneumonia again; this happened several times in the course of less than a year, and his doctors were at a loss as to WTF was causing it.

    The last time he went in, he never came home. His breathing became so labored that they had to intubate him, and eventually he was put into an induced coma, because his organs began to fail, one after the other. The damage was so great, we had to let him go, and I miss that silly stupid son of a bitch every single day. Hundreds turned out for his memorial/wake; he was so incredibly beloved, it was amazing.

    Not long after he passed, so did actor Jeff Conaway, so sadly famous for his addictions. When the details of his death came out, it turned out that he’d been drinking and taking Xanax, got pneumonia, and died of organ failure; the whole story was WAY too familiar to me, and I realized, far too late, what it was that did my brother in. Bloody doctors had NO IDEA he was doing it.

    Girl, I love you, in a way that is shockingly deep considering we’re total strangers. Everybody that posts here loves you, your family loves you… please, don’t be as careless with that love as my brother was with ours. Please, take care of yourself, and be careful?

    Your Pal,

    Storm the Klingon

    (Thank you for sharing this with me. I’m so sorry so for your loss. I average .5 milligrams of zanax a day (unless I have a panic attack) and for the last 2 months I’ve only been able to drink one alcoholic drink (max) every other day because it can interfere with my other medicine, so it shouldn’t be enough to affect me. I make sure that I clear my alcohol intake with all my doctors because there are such risks. It’s not easy but it’s important. Thank you for sharing your brother’s story here. It’s things like this that remind me that a margarita every day might be lovely, but isn’t safe for me at the moment. ~ Jenny)

  138. I don’t think anyone else already said this, and it’s probably moot if you bought measuring spoons, but in the photo, there are lines on the side of the bottle, that stick out from the main surface. Are those just to give you a grip? Or are there numbers in between them? (I can’t quite make that out in the photo.) Is it possible the bottle itself is marked to indicate every 10 ml/cc? They ought to know most US households have no way to measure metric. Either the cap should be one dose or they should mark the bottle — so maybe they did?

  139. Thank you. I am sorry you’re sick, but glad that you are lovely and sharing with us. I didn’t know if I was going to be able to sleep tonight, but this made me feel a lot better.

  140. Many pharmacies will give you a plastic stronger plunger for this. But if they can’t keep your medicine in stock then of course they wouldn’t do that either.

  141. I feel your pain!! I started a new Med last night and it’s a dial up shot. Weeeeellll, it’s one of those where you titrate to the target dosage and THIS GENIUS just saw a number on the package and dialed it up to that. (Obviously, because if we’re being honest here ADD and reading directions do NOT mix) However, if I was paying any attention at all I would have known that I was giving myself the TARGET amount and therefore took THREE TIMES the starter dose.
    Down side: I’m an idiot
    Up side: I’m still kicking. And I had to eat junk food to regulate the mistake. (Since I’m in a weight management program through the hospital I’m telling myself it was God’s way of giving me a cheat night 😂)

  143. Maybe the pharmacist was too busy eating Milkbones to provide a proper dosage measuring spoon?

  144. it doesn’t shock me in the slightest that CVS wouldn’t offer you a measuring spoon, nor would keep your antidepressants in stock.

  145. So….I GREW UP IN A PHARMACY, AND MY DAD IS A PHARMACIST!

    Every bottle of medication has that on the label. There are a number of reasons. Checking for accuracy is high on the list. Also, not being able to fill a bottle labelled “Prozac” with a bunch of Oxys and just sneak it out to your homie is a good reason. Also also? Not being able to run around with a bottle labelled “Prozac” but filled with Oxys without the cops knowing. There are more things to do with sneaking, and Oxycontin. I’ll let you imagine them.

    You have to ask for that measuring syringe, because a) They will assume you have one already and b) corporate drugstores are super scroogy. When my dad owned his own drugstore he would put one on every liquid prescription. Corporate pharmacies put up signs for the staff that say “DON’T GIVE THAT SHIT AWAY, IT COSTS US 27 CENTS!”

    The pharmacist may have forgotten to ask, as well. It’s the first of the month, and most of ’em are, as dad puts it, “knee deep in alligators” on the first. Next time, get sick after the fifth.

  146. The last time I needed codiene cough syrup it came in a red bottle and was completely clear when I poured it into a cup that had measurements on one side for teaspoons and another for milliliters which are un-American. Since I was primed to have a treat that tasted and looked like koolaid as I was coughing my brains out, I was disappointed on both counts and promptly puked it up. And that’s why I switched to a shot of whiskey and ditched the cough syrup.

  147. Vessel? Who has used the term “vessel” since, say 1886, much less operated one while guzzling codeine juice???

    I call bullshit. That stuff’s poison.

  148. People have already explained that they put a description on the bottle so when you pour it out and have a blue liquid you hopefully notice the discrepancy. If you read the label closely. Unless they made a mistake on the label and it really should have been blue. I’ve been round and round in my head on this and seriously, there are too many links in the chain here. I think maybe if you take any medication that someone (besides your own self) packaged up you are taking your life in your hands. That’s my advice. Get well soon.

  149. Fair warning: Codiene makes me SO NAUSEOUS. It hit me after about 3 days of taking it. I had a cough too and I decided I’d rather have the cough than feel like vomiting. Your choice. Good luck!

  150. You can get a syringe usually when you get your medication at the pharmacy. I would go back to the pharmacy and tell them you got medication yesterday and need a syringe since you don’t have anything that measures metric. They’re usually free. Or they might have these little spoons that you pour your medication in and it goes into the handle, then you measure your dosage in the handle and use the spoon to drink it. I have both kinds.
    I agree with the other posts here, the “red” notification was probably if you are allergic to dye.
    I think you need lots of cinnamon tea with raw honey- I swear by the stuff when I am sick ( which is quite often). Try to find honey that’s local and not processed, it’s a bit more money but worth it.
    Hope you feel better!

  152. There are two reasons why it is marked as a red liquid. First, because some people are allergic to red dyes. Second, because some medical procedures tell you not to have anything but clear liquids beforehand, and taking a cough medicine with red dye in it would be something they shouldn’t be doing. So, if that were your circumstance, you could tell the pharmacist, “Hey, this says it’s red, and I’m getting a XXX procedure tomorrow, can I get a clear version?”

    Also, next time you’re getting a prescription in a liquid, ASK THE PHARMACIST for a measuring cup. A lot of people have them sitting around in their cabinets from the last time they bought an over the counter cough medicine (especially those of us with kids, we always keep one of those puppies on hand) but you can always ask the pharmacist for one.

    Last, but never least, you’re NOT AN IDIOT. Being ignorant of something is not the same thing as being stupid. Stupid is an inability to -think-, to figure things out, to understand. Ignorance is simply lack of knowledge, which can be fixed by asking questions and looking things up. (You don’t know how much is milliliters, you go to Google and find out how many teaspoons that is. That’s the intelligent response to ignorance.) Everyone is ignorant of something. Even the most brilliant people in the world don’t know specifics of other fields, just the ones they’re interested in. You know how to find out the information you’re curious about, which means you’re not an idiot. You’ve got too much going on in your head all the time to bother with keeping track of tidbits of knowledge that you can look up when you need them, anyway. 🙂

  153. Uuummm, so if you have any of the measuring cups for kids liquid medicine you can pour your codeine juice in there to measure it…..or lick it off your hand….or just throw caution to the wind and take a swig from the bottle, I may or may not have done all of these in the past, hard to tell.

  154. You are certainly not an idiot. You articulate extremely well the frustration many of us feel. Thanks for starting my day with a smile.

  155. You’re just as brilliant and hilarious even with pneumonia! Please take care and get better soon!!

  156. I am happy that my medicine that says take xx ml of it comes with a dosing cup. After all I am NOT in Canada or Europe. In the US average joes do NOT do metric.

  157. In Canada, the pharmaceutical labels all have drug descriptions (ie. shape, colour, markings, etc.). Some also have super specific directions like “unwrap and insert” on suppositories cause, well, there’s been patients who didn’t unwrap before inserting. Those are interesting conversations.

    5 millilitres (correct spelling) is 1 teaspoon (dessert spoon too) or 1/3 of a tablespoon.

  159. I think it’s because you spell it millilitre. I moved to Canada when I was 5 at a time when we were transitioning to the metric system so my litres, ounces, pints, Fahrenheit are all mixed up.
    Just take a swig. Lol.

  160. So i once had the most awesome doctor who, when he gave me codeine cough syrup, would tell me ‘take as much as you need to make the cough stop’. Have been ‘taking a swig’ out of the bottle ever since (that was my dad’s terminology for ‘just have a swallow out of the bottle, kid’)

  162. I got walking pneumonia once because I asperated some liquid. It was whiskey. And i was in Nevada. So yah, I got pneumonia while in a desert. Also, metric is not for sissies, sadly if in Canada you would have likely had to pay for it as well (although perhaps not as much!) and the ‘re’ thing on millilitre is because of the French influence on British English that Canadians hang on to. But we build things, bake and describe our height and weight in imperial. Go figure! Feel better.

  163. Jenny, it’s telling you it is a red liquid because it MIGHT turn some bodily emissions red or pink. And that’s fun if you don’t know ahead of time.

  164. Maybe the labellers are trying to be nice by warning clumsy people like me, “Hey, butterfingers. This mofo will stain the hell out of your nice white shirt, because let’s face it, you’re going to spill this all over yourself. Go put on a red shirt. Or go spin a color wheel and find something complementary to put on, you big slob.”

  165. I get bronchitis ALL THE TIME. I just found out my immunoglobulins are low and I cannot fight off infections. Now I have to see an immunologist. You should have your immunoglobulin levels checked.

  166. Hi. I’m from Canada. It’s spelled millilitre. But Google doesn’t know that either! Pretty sure the US is the only country that measures officially in teaspoons or imperial. Makes sense now to me that pharmacists should have a universal measuring unit. Pharmacy should have given u a cup. Being persnickety. Love be your blog!

  168. Did it not come with one of those little plastic cups like you get when you buy Nyquil? You need one of those little plastic cups, because they’re in milliliters. I have a bunch of them floating around in my medicine cabinet. Somehow, when the bottle of cough syrup gets finished, those never seem to get tossed in the trash.

  169. I wonder if it says it’s red because something like 10% of the population is color blind and wouldn’t know otherwise. Of course why you need to know it’s red is a question I can’t answer. Maybe so you can match your shoes with your medicine? Although men are more likely to be color blind than women and most of the ones I know wouldn’t worry about matching their shoes to their medicine.

  170. I suspect it is labeled “THIS IS A RED LIQUID” because we are all shifty mofos and they know you will try to put liquid heroin in there and try to pass it off as your cough medicine. For reals. I take daily medication in pill form and recently I noticed that they started doing that with my pills as well: “THIS IS A WHITE PILL WITH A M ON IT” or whatever it says, and I am pretty sure it’s to keep me from putting meth crystals in my prescription bottle and trying to pass them off as legit in case I get pulled over with them. The cop would search me, find the prescription bottle full of crystal meth, and I would be like “But officer, those are a legitimate prescription!” and he would be like “Well, that’s fine th- WAIT A MINUTE! These are crystals and not a white pill! You’re coming with me!”

  171. It’s marked as a red liquid so you’ll be careful not to spill it on your orange cat, which would totally make him look like a Clown Cat, or the President, and would be deeply offensive to him. Not to mention that licking large quantities of codeine juice off his coat is probably EXTREMELY harmful to the cat. Or you, if you’re doing the licking. Unless you measure out 10ml first, and make sure you get it all.

    But then you’d just have a reddish-orange hairball to puke up, and I’m guessing it would clash with your carpet. So anyway, be careful.

  173. I once purchased a packet of dry roasted peanuts whose label contained the cryptic warning: “May contain peanuts”. I went ahead and ate the contents anyway, but who knows what I may have ingested in obnoxiously-flavored legume-shaped form.

  174. Canadians don’t use milliliters either, if it makes you feel better. My measuring cups and spoons are imperial. All our lumber comes in feet and inches, but our gas and milk come in litres. My dad converts the temperature to Fahrenheit when it’s hot, so it’s a bigger number and sounds more impressive. It’s all very willy nilly. I support the hand measure method! Reading this page and the comments is far more fun than scrolling Facebook 🙂

  175. I’m guessing they tell you it’s a red liquid so you don’t think you’re coughing up blood. Also, if you do cough up blood you won’t worry so much as you will think it’s just cough medicine.
    Get well soonest!!🌹

  177. You can’t even buy syringes to dispense medication at my local pharmacy without a note from your doctor. So if your doctor doesn’t give you a prescription for a freaking syringe, good luck taking your medicine. (I’m sure there are syringes around my parents’ house if I looked hard enough, but I also try my hardest to never get liquid medication.)

  179. I have a feeling the red coloring will make it all the way through you and they don’t want you to worry when the water in your toilet turns red. Long ago, I determined how much of my mouth a measured teaspoon would fill up and how big it felt in there. Now I just chug liquid medicine directly until it feels like I’ve got the right amount. Then swallow. No fuss, no muss.

  180. Forget the instructions. Treat it like whiskey and just take a swig every once in a while. And while you’re at it, have some whiskey too.

  181. Jenny, I am SO sorry you are sick again. This is not fair!!

    As for STUPID SPELL CHECK, no doubt the problem is that it is an American spellcheck, and if it were Canadian, where they use that measurement, it would spell it millilitres instead of milliliters.
    Or, maybe spellcheck is just too stupid to know that there are other ways of measuring things.

    Clearly, the pharmacist, or whoever wrote that on the label, is too stupid to know that most Americans would not have any clue how to convert a milliliter into something we can actually measure in our homes in the USA.

    Get better soon, Jenny. Sending you lots of love…..

  182. Okay I’m gonna stop drinking liquids while I read this because I just spitted out hot tea from laughing too hard. At work. I’m sorry you are sick though.

  183. Usually they put a small cup on top of the bottle that you use to measure the amount to take. Or sometimes it’s the cap itself. Feel better soon!

  184. I have no comment on the math, because it hates me, but I do want to say that I love you and I appreciate you using your terrible disease to bring me to tears with laughter. Happy Friday!

  185. Jen Jen – trust me toss the spoons and go for a single shot glass for day time and double for night time. Codeine is Judy Garland light drug, you can buy over the counter in Wisconsin

  186. All I know is that Codeine juice is good stuff. I took it when I had pneumonia and it was the best sleep I’ve had in my life! I just drank it straight from the bottle -jk, I used one of those little plastic measuring cups they usually give you.

  187. I have lived long enoigh (72years) that I know the feel of 10 ml in my mouth without measuring, so I always swig. Licking out of your hand works too. Don’t worry about hygiene. A little bacteria is good for you! Also, I have a plastic syringe in my bedside drawer that was for liquid antibiotic for my dog after she was spayed. Never used it because I lost the medicine in the fridge and never gave her any. Fortunately, she didn’t need the antibiotic. Saved the syringe and found the medicine a month later way back in the fridge. So now I have a nice syringe for measuring milliliters – and pink antibiotic for the next sick dog/cat. And yes, I know, there is a cutoff date for the antibiotic. I’m not totally irresponsible.

    Jenny, get well soonI

  188. Meds like this always have a little plastic cap with measuring stripes on it in my country.

  189. Victor didn’t have to buy you spoons. You just have to ask your pharmacy for a measuring thing. (Can’t think of the lingo now, haven’t used liquid in awhile) It’s free, just ask. 🙂 Hope you feel better soon.

  190. One milliliter is the same as one cc – might be easier to find something to measure it that way. Sorry to hear you have pneumonia again! I’ve had it at least eight times myself. The last time (2011) almost killed me (the same week I landed in the hospital with that, my wife had a double mastectomy – I told her she’s just way too competitive. I did spend a lot longer in the hospital, so she outdid that with 15 months of chemo.) Now I get a pneumonia vaccination every couple of years along with the yearly flu shot.
    Good luck shaking the pneumonia as quickly as you can!

  191. These bottles usually come with a nice little medicine cup on the top, I guess this one didn’t. If you have NyQuil or Robitussin or something, you could use the medicine cup that comes with those, just read the measurements carefully.

  193. “Seriously? THIS IS WHY YOU GET EVERY COLD. YOU ARE LICKING YOUR OWN HAND.”
    Tears of laughter at this!
    I just recommended to a co-worker that she read this post (she is recovering from pneumonia also), but I told her she might have to be cautious in reading it, because the laughing will probably bring on more coughing.

  196. Is there a “laughing until I pee” text acronym? If not, there is now. I am not happy you’re sick but boy, you just made my Friday so much more bearable.

  198. My cat’s medicine bottle told him he shouldn’t operate heavy machinery while taking it.
    I told them he’s only 6 pounds so I never let him near heavy machinery since he can’t see over the steering wheel.

  199. Forgive if someone’s already said this: they tell you what your medicine is supposed to look like so you can tell if they gave you the wrong thing.
    It’s especially helpful if you’re on a generic, since each company’s version of a generic is different, and if it’s a popular drug you never know which version you’re going to get month to month.

  200. “You take the blue liquid, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red liquid, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.”

  201. I live in Canada, and I still use tsp or TBSP to measure things. But luckily, I have dual-citizenship measuring spoons, since they have both. I always just use the cups that come with my kid’s liquid medications to measure that kind of stuff anyway. Yes, I save them.

    And your spellcheck hated it because it’s millilitre.

  202. The bottle tells you it’s a ‘red liquid’ in case you can’t see, you know, like when closed caption tells you there is music playing either by showing musical notes or just saying “loud music playing’ except that if you are blind you won’t be able to read that the liquid is red, just like if you are deaf ‘”music” and “loud” won’t mean much. So I think I just typed all that for nothing. But this I do know. You aren’t allowed to drink any red liquids before a colonoscopy because the gastroentomologis (whatever) will think you are bleeding in your colon and he will have to pull the whole thing out to stop it and, this is important, he can’t put it all back in like it was before. So, when he tells you for the prep you can drink stuff,just not anything red (and maybe, orange, purple, orange red, etc.) he means “red liquid.” The bottle is just trying to help.

  203. Counterfeit medications are a pretty big problem. Sometimes it’s hard to tell tie difference between the real and fake. Describing it on the bottle sometimes helps people tell when they’ve been duped. It’s also good for picking up mistakes, like when I was dispensed the wrong kind of antibiotics and only realized when the descriptions didn’t match.

  206. This is why I keep the little medicine cups that come with some over the counter meds. They usually have both teaspoons and mililiter printed on the sides.

  207. I hope you feel better soon Jenny. I had pneumonia last winter and it kicked my ass. You just have to rest or you’ll never get better:( Do you have any pepto? You can use the little cup from that. Or just keep infuriating victor by licking your hand. It makes for good stories but on second thought maybe don’t, we don’t want you getting Ebola or some weird lawn gerbil disease. Hugs.
    Cristin

  208. The Metric system rules! Imperial is so confusing that even the Brits gave up on it, and they haven’t given up on the monarchy after 500 years.

  209. Jenny, look at the left side of the bottle, see the numbers? That is the measurements!!!!!

  210. I am so sorry that you feel so ill. I think licking any food or medicine from your hand is a great idea. Who needs spoons anyway? Please please please have a read of the ‘GAPS’ book it could help you recover in so many ways in the long term. Love and hugs…

  211. You need the little syringes they put with children’s paracetamol. Those things are super useful and when you don’t need medicine any more, they make great little squirt guns. <_<

    Maybe the red dye remark is to remind colourblind people? I dunno man. That is weird. You’d think just saying “this contains red dye” would be sufficient for dye issues.
    A lot of things are red liquids. Cherry juice, blood… Urine if you eat too much beetroot.

  212. Hurrah for Ro 152 and Anon 154. I used to “jokingly” call myself all kinds of mean, unkind names. It’s not a coincidence that I first heard these labels from blood relatives, whose self-esteem is based in putting others down.
    Something brought me up short, and I decided I was not only going to get on Team Me but I’d become a fan.
    Later on, I read a saying, “People joke about their truths” and that reinforced my resolve. I learned our brain is always listening, even to obvious cruelty. I ended relationships with the people who couldn’t get on Team Me.
    Whaddya know, over time my chronically sad mood improved and has kept on improving.

  215. So sorry to hear you have pneumonia again! I just learned the other day that Alexa on the Echo device is super helpful on these matters – when I’m cooking and can’t translate my ingredients to a measurement I have, I just ask her. “Alexa, how many teaspoons is 10 milliliters?” Siri can do this too.

  216. Ah… a Victor sighting. I sure needed a laff this morning so thanks for that. 🙂

  217. One of my sets of measuring spoons (of course I have multiple sets — doesn’t everyone?) has the milliliter size stamped on each spoon. Maybe I could email you the 5- or 10-milliliter one.

  218. YOU ARE LICKING YOUR OWN HAND. That killed me. Also, I find it hard to believe you don’t have a little Pepto or Nyquil measuring cup/cap.

  219. Jenny,
    1. go to the pharmacy (they never have your meds? Is it CVS? Because they want to be burned down. They are just asking for it. I once asked the pharmacist when she said the third time in a row that they didn’t have my meds that this was the medication that I take so I don’t throttle people and that I could probably reach right through that drive through window and that pharmacist didn’t even blink.) and ask for a measuring cup please. Please.

    1 ML is the same as 1Cc which is 1/33 of an ounce. Just remember that ok? Put it in your head with your social security number and other necessary annoying numbers. I had a preemie, I fed her breast milk ONE CC AT A TIME. that means 33 eye droppers for one ounce of milk. I will never, ever, ever forget that number for that reason.
    Hence 10cc is 1/3 of an ounce. There are no teaspoons in a MIL. There are ML in a teaspoon, although I can’t remember how many.
    just swig the shit out of the bottle.

  221. Seriously, who measures cough mixture? You just slug it from the bottle, like moonshine.

  222. if it makes you feel any better apparently i am an old person at the age of 32 and i speak jibberish all the time lol. i was at work and i basically babysit teenagers all day to make sure they dont burn down the restaurant if the night time. this particular night the teenie booper boys were just so loud and annoying they were driving me crazy. i was trying to explain that to my 20 something co-worker that all the teenagers sounded like the lil brainy aliens from mars attacks movie with all the “ACK ACK ACKing” in the back and i just got that have you been sniffing paint look from her. And then it turned into all the people over 30 telling all the kids that they had no taste for not knowing mars attacks was a thing of awesome sauce. and then the kids saying we were old and pretty soon we start yelling “these damn kids and there rocking and rolling music”

  223. I’d love to have a copy of You Are Here. Also, please have the book translate to Vietnamese and other languages. This book has been awesome and I think lots of people would benefit from reading it. I have friends back in Vietnam that I can’t say read this book and you’ll understand me a little better. If possible, I would love to participate in the process of translating this book.

  224. Also – the correct answer is two gulps straight from the bottle.
    Don’t listen to Victor when he tells you that’s wrong. He’s stuck in his rules based world. Life is better in the ‘do the first thing that comes to mind and move on with your life’ world.
    2 gulps, no clean up.

  225. I am a pharmacy technician and the label should have indicated the number of teaspoons to drink and the millitres in brackets. That is how I was taught to label liquid medication your pharmacy should label medications properly. The problem is with the pharmacy not you.

  227. is it possible the medicine was supposed to come with a measuring cap or that maybe there are measuring lines inside the cap? Seems like they should send a poor sickie away with no homework to do

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  230. My kids’ pediatrician gives their prescriptions in standard (teaspoons/tablespoons) but our stupid pharmacy only has those dosing syringes in metric. So I asked the dr. to tell us the metric conversion but he told me to look it up. Maybe because he didn’t want me to figure out he was overpricing me for Canadian medicine.

  231. 1 teaspon = 5ml
    Ask your pharmacist for some dosing syringes.
    I love you.

  232. Not that I’m an addict or anything (at the moment), but 10 MLS is two teaspoons. Just eyeball it and chug it straight out the bottle. I would also love to be put in the running for your new book. My dogs are mad at me now because I let them out, started composing this comment, then realized it had started raining. No wonder they kept barking at the door. Hey, the sun was still shining, sorry! They’re now inside grumbling and barking at me even though I towelled them off thoroughly. Ingrates. Now I get to go have a pelvic ultrasound done. Joy.

  233. Likely answered already but I am too ill to check all the replies to be sure.
    One teaspoon is equivalent to 5 mls. (Note: I didn’t say equal because it is not precisely, but close enough in this case.)
    One tablespoon is 15 mls.
    It says Red to make sure people know it is not Green, as in color blindness.

  234. Sent my boyfriend a photo of my screen to show him a game of thrones thing and the heading for this article was in one of my tabs. I tried to explain – he’s very confused now

  235. I am seriously considering inventing a cocktail called Codeine Juice. I feel like that would solve a lot of problems. Or create more. Depends on how much codeine I use, I guess.

  236. Likely for colorblind people. Red/green colorblindness is the most common form, and confusing your green mouthwash with your red codeine juice would be bad in a couple of ways.

  237. For future reference: Ask your doctor for Tessalon Perles.

    I have asthma and when I get a cold/upper respiratory infection/bronchitis/etc. my cough sounds like someone put bombs in my lungs and they are now exploding. I have, on more than one occasion, had people tell me they thought I was dying. Sometimes I feel as though I am. Pretty much every cough medicine that’s out there, my lungs consider a joke. There are only two medications that quell my cough: Vicodin (Seriously, an ER doctor prescribed it and it worked!) and Tessalon Perles.

    Hope you’re feeling better.

  238. It’s best to ask a pharmacist, before taking any medication. That way you will know how much medicine to take.

    I hope you feel better soon!

  239. I’m sorry you are sick. For some reason I’m not getting notifications when you post a blog so I’m a bit behind. Maybe I need to resubscribe or something. Anyway, Victor is right. That stuff is pretty strong and you should probably stick to the right dose. You don’t want to take too much of that shit. It might knock you out.

  240. Sorry, late to the party, but I’m with the “it’s a legal thing” for the red liquid label. I’m guessing if you finished the bottle and refilled it with, say, weed killer and then drank it and sued them, they could say “it says red liquid and what you drank wasn’t a red liquid so, yeah, we win”.

  241. I hope you are feeling better. i just wanted to say thank you for bringing laughter to my day <3 (it’s a heart, not a weird butt thing that one of my friends thought it was and was too nice to say “why are you texting me weird butt things????”) Anyway, please keep posting and writing and booking and being <3 you are a gift of joy!!

  242. Extremely stupid possibly irrelevant thought- my husband had to go on for a colonoscopy and he loves drinking Gatorade. For the 24 hours when he had to be on a liquid diet i asked “Do you want me to bring you something? they have Gatorade in the cafeteria?”

    He said he can have anything except red or purple Gatorade (because purple contains red) prior to the procedure. Never learned why.

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