It runs in the family.

in Random Crap

Victor told me that my sister sent us an email so I read it and it began with:  “OH SHIT.  TAKE CARE OF THIS BITCH RIGHT NOW BEFORE I CUT HER FACE OFF,” and I said to Victor, “Jesus.  Well, clearly she’s overreacting” but then I read the rest of the email and I was like, “WTF.  I AM GOING TO CUT THIS BITCH’S FACE OFF.” And then Victor shrugged and said it was good that my sister and I were terrible at follow-through because he couldn’t afford bail money for both of us and I was going to argue with him but then I got distracted and forgot what we were talking about.

So I probably won’t cut anyone’s face off but I will say that if you ever get a sales pitch from someone using my words to sell you some expensive plagiarized mental illness cure-all workshop or bullshit video please do your research and look up the name of the company followed by the word “scam” before even thinking about reaching for your wallet or sharing it with others.  In fact, you should probably do that with everything you’re considering paying for.

I’m not including names here because I don’t want them getting free press and I already have people working on getting it removed so it’ll be fine.  I have people plagiarize my stuff or use it uncredited all damn the time and it’s frustrating but part of being a writer.  Having my plagiarized words used to get money from people dealing with mental illness though is just infuriating and I want to bite everything. Just please be aware that there are a lot of great places out there to help with anxiety and depression, but there are also some sleazy assholes that will take advantage of you for cash.

PS.  I don’t have a good graphic for this so instead here’s a series of gifs representing my sister and me today:

Her:

me:

Her:

Me:

Her:

Me:

Her:

me:

Her:

me:

Her:

me:

Both of us:

Neither of us but I like the gif:

Updated: Just an FYI…I’m getting DM’s from people who are worried that they’ve shared some of my quotes on their blogs.  Dude, if you quoted me on your blog and attribute the quote to me that is awesome and wonderful and I love it.  This person took paragraphs from Furiously Happy and rewrote it to take credit for it (including changing my name to theirs) to convince people to buy their anti-anxiety video.  Which is giving me anxiety.  And now it’s giving other people anxiety.  It’s like The Ring but with slightly less murders.

142 thoughts on “It runs in the family.”

Read comments below or add one.

  5. I just want to go to that chicken joint and steal ketchup packs now. I think this could be considered crafting.

  7. Goodness sakes! Sorry to hear about this. People are flaming bags of crap sometimes. And I also love the Colonel Sanders bleeding from his eyes GIF.

  10. Grrrrrr. Somebody needs a good smiting. Is there any way you could get them legally for stealing your words?

    (Maybe but it’s not really worth the effort. Luckily the words they stole were from Furiously Happy so my publisher’s lawyers will stay after them until they at least removed the parts they stole of mine. Oh, and they changed my name to theirs so that it looks like they wrote the stuff they lifted from Furiously Happy. So it’s not even like it was an accident or an unattributed paragraph. I mean…wtf. ~ Jenny)

  13. I’m goona have nightmares for weeks about the colonel and his blood/ketchup explosion face!

  15. Want us to cut her face off for you? Coz we totally would! Just need to find the perfect ass kicking outfit then I’m all set!

  16. Glad you’re pursuing it. The GIF story is the best thing I’ve seen all week. Stay strong!

  22. If it’s any consolation, I used (and credited) a quote by you in my final for a required English course last week.
    I got bonus points for it because my professor is a fan, too. 😀
    That’s the story of how Jenny Lawson single-handedly got me an A+!

    (Yay! ~ Jenny)

  23. There are people who would sell their own mother if it meant they would profit from it…such is the world today…so sad…we just need to keep moving forward….

  24. re: who uses kechup at KFC comment – I don’t really go to KFC anymore, but they had fries. If there are fries there is ketchup. I don’t trust people who eat fries without ketchup.

  25. Ugggghhh, so sorry, Jenny. You do so much good in the world, especially for those with mental illness. I hope you do just bite everything instead of losing even a little bit of heart. Wishing, hoping, praying for quick resolution and peace for you with this issue.

  26. Anyone who follows you knows you talk about the things you do sell and do not believe in mental health “cure alls” so hopefully those a-holes didn’t make any money.

  27. I will never believe any offers come from you unless there is a taxidermied animal involed. That is how I will know it’s legit.

  28. I, on the other hand, have a great sense of focus and would be MORE THAN HAPPY to rip off some motherfucking faces for you. COME AT ME BRO.

  29. I’m with Lisa, scamming people out of money to profit off their mental illness by plagiarizing the world’s sweetest human…..CUT THEIR FACES OFF.

  31. Jesus Christ, I hope it wasn’t ME. PLEASE don’t cut my face off. I recently wrote about depression, using my own words – I SWEAR! But I also used a video from a famous YouTuber in my entry, because he nailed it.

    (Ha! It wasn’t you. And using a video or quote from someone with attribution is awesome. That’s how we find others who inspire us. ~ Jenny)

  32. I’m sorry this is happening. Thanks for the heads up(and the warning to do your research!) The research part warms my librarian/archivist heart. I’m sure your publishers have this in hand, but according to the copyright law(chapter 5) they are not only in violation of your copyright, but because they are trying to make money off of your stuff it’s a criminal offense too. I hope it’s taken care of quickly! Go copyright!

    (I suspect they aren’t based in America. That’s usually the case with sites like these. Makes it easier for them to avoid lawsuits and such. ~ Jenny)

  33. It’s also not a very bright move, since everybody who has read Furiously Happy would spot that lie from a mile out. And a lot of us anxious mofos have read that book.

  34. The only somewhat good thing about this is the timing; you could actually cut their faces off and everyone would think it was a really graphic Halloween prank. Not that I am recommending you actually do it…just saying. Probably not worth the jail time. Probably.

  38. It happened to me too! Some crazy bitch stole my artwork and put it on a book &t shirts, and social media. I asked to take it down and pay me. So I filed a whole bunch of copyright infringement everywhere still haven’t gotten paid though! I am mad for the both of us!

  39. Because your blog is still not optimized for mobile I couldn’t see the gifs much so I didn’t realize what the last one was until I read it broke someone’s brain and zoomed in. Up till then I thought it was a sweet video of the Colonel’s image on a doggie door with the mutt walking inside.

    Jenny, dear, please make your site mobile friendly. I’m not sure people even use computers anymore.

    (I’m so tech-incompetent I don’t even know what that means. I need to hire someone, I think. ~ Jenny)

  42. Jenny, that just made me and prob a bunch of other tribe members feel stabby. How daaarre they!!!!
    You are one of a kind we’re with you!
    Hugs
    Cristin

  43. I was completely outraged and sharpening my pitchfork, but then I saw the last gif and now I’m eating fried chicken and trying to stab tiny holes in a ketchup packet.

    Why am I using pitchfork?

    Why is it so damn sharp!?

    Who hid the toothpicks?

    I know you get it. ❤️❤️❤️

  46. Just to say that some of us would find it incredibly therapeutic and stress relieving to cut un-named’s face off, and since they’re using your words to sell anti-anxiety cures, it’s like that’s what they really want, so really, we would all be winners! Instead I think I will just color a page in my Jenny Lawson coloring book.

  47. My friend Liv Rainey-Smith (who carves AMAZING H.P. Lovecraft/Medieval-inspired wood block prints) has her stuff plagiarized all the time. She’s actually found people selling t-shirts and other apparel using her artwork on Amazon. It’s horrible. Good luck. I’m so sorry this happened to you.

  48. I hope the person gets what they deserve. I know people say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but there’s a pretty big gap between also trying to make Colonel Sanders bleed like a zombie because your friend did it and it looks totally cool and gross all at the same time, and plagiarizing for your own benefit because you’re a shitty rip-off artist.

  49. Back in college, I wanted to leave on break early so I asked a good friend to hand in my final paper. He did, AFTER HE COPIED IT WORD FOR WORD. I got an incomplete in the mail during break – WTF?? I was ultimately able to prove I’d written the paper — I could name all the source material, he hadn’t even noticed my footnotes. But the professor gave him another semester to re-write, and she ultimately gave me a B and he got an A. (If I’d had an extra semester to write, I could’ve written a masterpiece.)

    The plagiarism pissed me off but what bothered me more was that he didn’t have the sense to PARAPHRASE. He copied word for word. Lazy bastard.

  50. I feel awful for you, and wish I could rip some faces off on your behalf! One thing that should work in your favor, though, is how many of us have read (and practically memorized) your books, so we could spot the scumbags immediately. I LOVE your gif narratives; as usual, you nailed it.

    (Honestly, that’s how I see most of these, including this one. Most of the time it’s inadvertent and someone will just comment “Hey, that’s a Jenny Lawson quote. She’s great. Here’s a link to give her credit” but on the more blatant ones people usually just forward them to me so they don’t have to deal with the bullshit. I love you guys for always having my back. ~ Jenny)

  51. I should have read this before I signed up to pay shipping for a book and ended up with a 5 day free trial to an auto renewing $99 subscription for a newsletter I clicked 3 times I did not want. Grrrr.

  52. My husband has a bail fund for me, at least I think he does. So if you need to cutta witch, he might be able to pitch in a bit. Although to be honest, I think he’s more saving for public nudity or disturbing the peace when this illness finally gets me and I lose my mind for good and all, so it might not be enough to cover capital murder. But we’d start a GoFundMe for you to cover the rest, so no worries.

    Now what were we talking about? Squirrels? Maybe something shiny? Or The Shining? Never did like that book.

  53. When you find this bitch I hope you sue the pants off her, oh wait no we don’t want to see that, but even if you want to cut her face off please don’t because I don’t know if you would be able to blog from prison and there are a lot of us who would be very, very sad about that. So put her in prison so she can’t blog. ‘kay?

  55. I hate that someone did this. Your words are brilliant and every time someone reads them you should get credit. I agree you should not do any face cutting though, because, like Kira said, you probably can’t blog from prison and I know I would be very sad about that. Right now I wish Rory wasn’t stuffed and he could rip her face off though.

  60. Who the fuck DOES shit like this? Gah. I’m sorry, Jenny. This is totally sucktastic in the WORST fucking way.

    On the other hand, if you could get a hold of a male platypus and find the person who did this you could TOTALLY stab them with the poison spurs on the back of their hind leg. I’ve read that not only does platypus poison make your entire body feel like it’s on fire, but standard painkillers don’t even work. So even though it doesn’t kill you, it makes you WISH you were dead.

  61. Nothing gives me more judicial satisfaction than going all tattletits on someone who can’t string three words together for taking credit for other peoples’ original thoughts. I never hesitated telling you about that one dick in Pakistan trying to convince us over on the Mediums that his dog, Dorothy Barker, had written a guest post that one time, even if getting it taken down zapped you and DID make me feel badly.

  63. I apologize, but I “plagiarize” your following words all the damn time “knock, knock motherfucker”
    I can’t think of three words I like strung together more than these. Thank you.

  64. Jenny-I’m sorry that’s happened to you! I hope you rip their balls off. Or, if female, the balls they grew to do something like that.
    I’m sorry but I cracked up at the gifs. Belly laughed. But I’m rather fucked up.
    I love you.

  68. oh god, I’m sorry this happened to you, but glad you caught it.
    I don’t know Texas law, but I think the legal action you need to whomp on this wretch is a Cease and Desist and Also Shape-shift Into A Very Old Kitchen Sponge. That way, the smell and the fact that it takes up space and doesn’t work, will alert innocent people that this person is nearby.

    I’m forever having convos with a Young Relative who likes my art. YR: “This art is awesome, Aged Fossil! You need an Insta so you can post this!” “Me: fuck them, pay me.” YR (slight eye roll and smile at silly AF in their dotage) and dotdotdot. Well now, YR has just posted some photos that they are verrrrry proud of and were hard and expensive for YR to get. And the photos were soon ripped off and the thief posted them onto their own Insta, without attribution.

    I think I’m starting to make an impression.
    Having an IP attorney on retainer would be good as I launch my business, too.

  69. Instead of plagiarizing you I just gave people a copy of your book. Saved time.

  70. Wow, so sorry, but the best artists and writers have that happen ALL the time! I follow Jim Wright, who does a political blog, and he is forever getting ripped off by other blogs and even e-msgazines, either without attribution or they have the nerve to publish with his name and not pay him! It’s like Whack A Mole, hit one and another pops up! Good luck, hit them with coyright infringement.

  71. The only thing I can think of that you would suggest for temporary relief from mental illness is taxidermy-ing roadkill or backyard pests. Or, at least, the only suggestion I would use….I mean that with love. {Hugs, Jenny. Love you, your writing and your family!}

  72. I just can’t. Who are these lower level lifeforms posing as human beings? May they be tormented with tiny pitchforks in hell.

  75. Grrrrrrrrrrrr! Your tribe is ready to go all chimpanzee on these loathsome miscreants!

  76. Just a few days ago I posted a reference to your Beyonce post on Facebook to a friend who wanted to buy a giant metal dragon for her yard. You know, to go with the giant gargoyles and serpent she already has. I just went back and checked Facebook to make sure I credited you. Good news! I did! And I still love the Beyonce story. Makes me laugh every time I read it. It inspired me to want a giant metal lizard on my roof. Sadly, both my husband and the neighborhood association would object vehemently to a roof lizard.

  77. It really would thrill and delight us to f with them:) Do they not know the bad ass mother fuckers you hang with?

  78. I once quoted my daughter who was quoting you on my blog. I totally attributed the quoted quote to you. Btw- it was right after I’d lost my job and her way to give me perspective was to point out that at least my arm wasn’t up a cow’s vagina. I laughed and realized: Yep, it could be worse.

  80. If the offenders are running any online ads, click on the ads a bunch of times. They’ll have to pay each time you click.

  81. Thank you for letting us know- Your writing helps so many so much, disgusted that someone is using that to take advantage of people. Please keep going.

  82. I hope by “people taking care of this” you mean LAWYERS WHO WILL SUE THE PANTS OFF THEM and the District Attorney’s office to investigate them for fraudulent business practices. Go get ’em! How despicable to take advantage of people already struggling with mental health issues!

  83. VooDoo. Get a VooDoo Doll and start stabbing. I VooDooed a boss once. For a while I thought it wasn’t working but then he suddenly quit, out of the blue! Mysterious, don’t you think? I try not to unleash my VooDoo except under extreme circumstances. It’s a terrible thing having such power. I think the situation here calls for at least a few pins. I don’t want to push my VooDoo on you because that’s not right, but I’m here for you if you need me. Also, VooDoo is very hard to prove in court. :o)

  84. So this is sort of related, but not really related. Except it’s about sisters and that’s both related and about relations.
    My sister’s fiance died suddenly and she lost her mind, (understandably so- I have to add. I don’t want anyone to think that her loss of sanity was not totally justified.) and frankly, she barely had a hold of her mind, to begin with, and I don’t think she has found it yet and it’s been 4 years.( Again, understandably. ) Anyhow, when I got a text from her one day saying that she hoped that her ex-husband (not the one that passed away. He was a genius. Her ex is a waste of skin) would start using bath salts to get high so she could claim that she was really defending herself from a zombie when she saw him and stabbed him in the head I thought “Oh thank God, she is starting to get a little better.” and in my happiness I forwarded that text to a friend like “See! Look at how great it is that Melissa is starting to feel better and her angst towards her ex is returning…” except I didn’t put that disclaimer in there. I just wrote From my sister and copied and pasted. Apparently, the person I sent that text to didn’t know us maybe so well as I thought because her response was “Perhaps this is the anger phase.” No, that was a while ago. I think that was when she threatened – and I mean this very seriously – to throw me off the balcony. No grieving process anger here. This is the normal Melissa who justifiably lost her mind to grief AND justifiably hates her ex AND wants to stab him in the head but couldn’t think of a good enough reason to do so but apparently has come up with a zombie bath salt defense. No, this is PROGRESS. That person doesn’t answer my texts anymore.

    In reference to your issue. Um, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery meets hell hath no fury like a crazy bitch plagiarized from. I took some liberties with that second part. I am prone to do that from time to time. Give ’em hell, Jenny.

  85. I discovered a maker on Etsy had used the exact words I use to sell my product on Etsy. EXACT. I asked politely … they changed it a little. I asked again. More changes. AGAIN. UNTIL THAT MOFO LOOKED LIKE COPY WRITTEN BY THE SHITHEADS THEY ARE.

  86. Popeyes fried chicken is MILES ahead of the colonel from KFC. I advise you to find it and try it. I could eat just a bucket of their chicken skins. Best of luck with this plagiarism bullshit.

  87. Jesus H. that’s bold! As an IP attorney I deal with this a lot but I don’t often see something so blatantly terrible. This person is super lucky you two are bad with follow through 🙂

  88. Wow. When I started reading this I thought it was like, someone was pretending to be you to sell this crap, but they actually changed your name so it looks like they wrote it? Woooah. That’s so… Idiotic. Did they actually think that they wouldn’t get called out on it? I mean, it’s not like you are some nobody that no one has ever heard of, you’ve got a freaking TRIBE! Tons of people who see that will be all “hey, I know who really wrote that!”. …. Also that ketchup package gif may just give me nightmares.

  89. call them on the phone and break out singing Rhianna’s BITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY
    Yayo, yayo
    Moo-la-lah
    Yayo

    Bitch better have my money!
    Y’all should know me well enough
    Bitch better have my money!
    Please don’t call me on my bluff
    Pay me what you owe me
    Ballin’ bigger than LeBron
    Bitch, give me your money
    Who y’all think y’all frontin’ on?
    Like brrap, brrap, brrap

    It’s the brrap, brrap, brrap that will get them. Can you make Video and act this out? No? Damn.

  90. Hi Jenny. I’m so sorry that someone is stealing your thoughts and emotions and trying to pass them off as their own. Whoever they are, they suck dirty donkey balls. I just want you to know, Furiously Happy is one of my favorite books of all time. I carry it in my backpack to work, so that when I start freaking out, I can peep in and see it there and remind myself that I’m not alone. It’s my booky friend.

  91. Wow, reading comprehension changes this story significantly. At first I thought the bitch whose face you were ready to cut off was your sister’s, and I was like, “Wow, that’s familial love I can really understand.” But then I reread and realized the initial message was /from/ your sister, not you directing it /at/ her, and now I feel alone again.

    (Note: I would never /actually/ cut my sister’s face off. That would be way too messy. I would only ever threaten to do so. The stranger stealing your words, however, is 100000% worth the mess, and I will be standing by with a mop and bucket should you decide to go that route after all.)

  92. Reassure Victor that your fans can probably help with double bail if you run out of option with this horrible word thief. I’m sure he’ll feel much better knowing that. grins

    On a more serious note I hope this nasty person gets afflicted with random underfoot Lego.

  93. I was hoping you would call for a reenactment of the Red Wedding. I love weddings and red is my favorite color. Besides, it would send the correct message to would-be evildoers.

  94. They say that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, but whole paragraphs? That’s just plagiarism. I’m up for holding her still while you cut her face off. Just let me know.

  95. “I want to bite everything” is exactly how I feel right now, too, but for a stupid reason. Thank you for providing the words I needed because they amuse me.

  97. I hate plagiarism… SO much, it… it-it- the it flamed.. flames. Flames, on the side of my face… breathing, breath — heaving breaths…

    (Credit to Mrs. White [played by Madeline Kahn] in the movie Clue, written by Jonathan Lynn.)

  98. That sucks. Some people are assholes, particularly the plagiarising ones with no respect for copyright. Thanks for your books and your blog – I’m really enjoying the dollhouse posts. Your unique sense of humour and way of seeing the world always makes me smile :-).

  99. I want to ❤️ this cos sisters rule but 😡 it cos that plagiarist is scum & deserves both your wrath(es?). You got this!

  101. That breaks my heart, Jenny, because reading Furiously Happy honestly and truly saved my life. For once I didn’t feel so alone. And halfway through it I went straightaway to buy Let’s Pretend for my kindle and felt even more warm and fuzzy. To think that someone would steal that from YOU and thereby from ALL OF US who see those book titles in the Kindle list and smile and feel better and not so alone is..is..well I have no words for it that wouldn’t just be a run-on sentence of profanity. Sue the ever-loving piss out of them. They violated something beautiful and sacred to ALL OF US because WE love YOU! So to fly in the face of pretenders, please hold dear to your heart that it is YOU, authentically you, who changed my life and I am forever grateful! 🌹🌹🌹
    PS – my Beloved Chocolate Lab who is the beat of my heart thanks you too and wanted me to send you these, from him. 🐾🐾🐾🐾💐
    My cats are assholes so they sent you nothing. 🤷‍♀️
    Many many hugs!

  102. That last GIF is best ever. And yeah…those kind of people should be have 1 million paper cuts forced on them before they slide down a salt water water slide into a pool of lemon juice!

  103. People are trash. Not all people of course, but it’s statistically sound to generalize in this case. People are trash.

  104. I saw a quote from your book in a facebook meme with no credit. I didn’t know what to do, so I just commented that if the person liked that quote, she should read the author’s book and check out her blog….then told them the info necessary to do both. I hope that was good enough.

    (You are one of God’s special angels. That’s always a wonderful way to help, especially since most of the time it’s inadvertent. ~ Jenny)

  105. I once got sent a book to review. And it was (mostly) my own book, republished in another country under someone else’s name.

  106. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. But your genius gif storyline is awesome.
    That Garbage City episode of Broad City was the best.

  107. I know this woman with these really wise words that are so true for this occasion: “We are gentle souls. But if you fuck with us we will cut you. And we will eat your face meat.”

    Her name is Jenny Lawson and I stand firmly behind her if she needs a partner or any assistance fulfilling the above-mentioned quote, including the cutting of and eating of face meat.

  110. So at first I was like …damn, her sister has really pissed of Jenny but then I realized it was the dirty dirty thieving bastage whose face was in dire danger.. may your publishers sue the skin right off their plagiarizing scamming buttocks.

  111. “Fewer”, dear Jenny. “Fewer murders …”. vs. “Less Murders …”, which really, kinda means that your victims, each one, is not completely dead. Which is probably good news for your sentencing, but cruel, and I believe that you are Not a cruel character. “Character “, defined in many other facets. But not cruel.
    So, Re: murder victims, “less murdered”, vs. fewer murdered”, the latter is absolutely, the kinder way to go, all things considered. 😁

  112. As a believer in a loving and caring god figure I try not to believe in Hell. But when I hear/read about septic tank scum like that we that, I hope I’m wrong

  114. The internet has made it easy for criminal copyright infringement so I never post any artwork at high resolution. Always, if you have images to display, post them ay 72 dpi at a small size and even add a watermark. That way they can’t use it to print on products because it’ll just pixelate and look shitty. Unfortunately, words are much easier to plagiarize and use. When the scrapbooking movement started, I designed paper photo corners with designs cut out of them. My partner and I sourced out the perfect cotton rag ph neutral paper, had my designs laser cut, packaged by developmentally disabled adults, and sold through a major photo preserving catalog. We also sold them through the large wholesale gift convention in LA. One of the businesses that we sold samples to turned around and blatantly produced an inferior product and sold them as their own. How do you protect your rights to creating something like that? We weren’t big enough to pursue any legal action and exert our rights on a product like that. Of course, years later everyone in scrapbooking was producing them. It hurts my heart that people have no integrity or scruples and just want to profit from someone else’s hard work and creativity. The world is too big and there are a lot of criminals out there.

  115. Now I have warm/appreciative thoughts for your sister-who-(like mine!) Always has her sisters back-and best interests at heart.
    And also-to credit poster pyctsi (#92)-“On a more serious note I hope this nasty person gets afflicted with random underfoot Lego.”
    Yeah!! ME TOO!! Glad you thought of it, Pyctsi!!

  116. Lowest of the low, are those who steal from one to gain from the innocent . Boy, that sounds like a quote worth stealing. Did I just do that? No, I just made it up. Didn’t I? Sorry if I did.
    I too am feeling a bit stabby.

  117. I’m so sorry that happened, and I hope your anxiety will lessen soon. I love how the ketchup eventually creates a little heart.

  118. Jenny, My sister and I love you, you have helped us both so much. Thank you for putting yourself out there to help as may of us as possible. We would be more than happy to “chat” with the vile betrayer.

  120. THIS. This is the top of my mountain of pet peeves. I have written so many screeds at and about people who try to sell online help for people with mental illness. No degree, no experience beyond their own “deep thoughts” on the subject. It’s all part of this culture that treats Mental Illness as a non-real, trivial thing. A bad mood, so anyone can advise on it.
    When people take advantage of the brain suffering of another human to make money, I just go bat shit too. I would be over the wall if they had taken my words to do it.
    I’m happy to provide the alibi if you ever remember to follow through. Or contribute to bail. Whatever.

  126. Plagiarism is a crime, and if I find your plagiarist, I WILL cut a bitch (just for you, Jenny). But credit where credit is due, I think I may have just paraphrased ol’ Honest Abe’s famouser quote about not breakin’ the laws and such. Or maybe not. Who knows anymore? I’m long gone from my high school history classes.

  127. I hope I never encounter garbage people, but then it would probably mean my work’s not good enough to be universally applied? Reworded: I hope I have no dealings with garbage people until 100 years after my death. They will probably be alien anthropologists, so bonus!

  128. People don’t get the feeling brought to an author when they’re attributed with their quotes.

  129. This makes me mad. We love you Jenny, and I’d be happy to start a bail fund. Or hurt someone. Me and my friends are standing by with garbage bags and mops and a lot of bleach. Good luck. If you need us to, your tribe will go full-on face stabby.

  130. “Exercise caution in your business affairs;
    for the world is full of trickery.
    But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
    many persons strive for high ideals,
    and everywhere life is full of heroism.”

    by Max Ehrmann, Desiderata. Copyright 1952.

  132. #108 Melanie Sinclair – anyone who quotes from Johnny Dangerously is supremely awesome.

  134. I quoted Furiously Happy for a graduation speech (with credit of course). Once people wrapped their heads around the lack of Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes, I think they apprecitated hearing about taxidermied racoons for a change. Well, I hope so.

  135. Note to self: use caution when reading this blog on cold medications and steroids. I hope you can laugh at this…the first time I read this post, I started off thinking you wanted to kill your sister. It wasn’t until I got through the gifs that I understood that she was on your side and had brought the problem to your attention. Wow, I must be really sick!

  136. Hey. Saw someone commented that your site isn’t mobile friendly. I’m on a mobile. I have had no problems. Except for not being able to leave a long message.

  137. You need to start a rock band and name it “Slightly less murders” because it would be AWESOME

  138. I share your coloring book pics and quotes with my therapy clients all the time. I share the ones that make me think of them and the ones that make me think of me. Then I tell them they should totally buy it for themselves (cause it’s mine and I’ve colored in it anyway…). It is an amazing therapy tool. It also feels amazingly subversive to hand the book to teenagers and say “FYI she really loves the word ‘Fuck’.” Also, my sister just bought me my chicken. His name is Gary. He shall have adventures of unnerving and epic proportions.

  139. Just apologising in advance, have already sent you an email, I accidently, deliberately posted a photo of a page on facebook, but you and the book were both referenced. Sorry again, am trying to make them all buy the book for themselves as mine is an e-version I won’t share.

  141. Pingback: ‘Tis the Season of Giving | The Writing Post

  142. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. But your genius gif storyline is awesome.
    That Garbage City episode of Broad City was the best.

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ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:

I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:

Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.

Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.

The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”.  Often irreverent, always honest.

Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.

Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

Beautiful Writers book: Writers! This coming-of-career memoir (w/ the BEST advice from celeb authors, real shit you haven’t heard) is life. A page-turning beach read doubling as how-to. #Magic

The Dating Days of Marta O: When I told my sister I was building a blog she said: “Do people still read blogs?” I do not know, but if YOU want to read it, here it is. Keep in mind, my stories about dating after 40 are for the brave.

Where Do I Belong? A memoir of Sarah Carrington: The unbelievable story of growing up in a religious cult in the mountains of Northern British Columbia. What happens to you in life doesn’t make you strong; rising above it does.

CONNECTED: A Personal Journal for Ketamine Therapy Created by writer & patient Katherine Davis for this powerful clinical treatment. If considering ketamine for major depression, check out this essential tool.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: SO GOOD.

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