I saw that Winnie the Pooh was trending on twitter and my first thought was that he was dead and then I realized that was insane and my next thought was that he must’ve said something racist or sexually harassed someone and then I thought that the world is a bit bleak right now for me to rush to that conclusion but in my defense, the guy walks around wearing a midriff t-shirt and no pants all the time, which is questionable at best.
Turns out though that it’s Winnie the Pooh Day and that’s nice because I really love A. A. Milne, although mostly because I’m a big fan of Eeyore, who is my personal patronus and is forever overshadowed by a mildly problematic bear who only ever covers his upper nipples.
One of the most famous Winnie the Pooh lines was being quoted a billion times on twitter:
And I know that line is very celebrated but basically it just means “I want for your last day on earth to be spent in mourning, oh and also it’s your birthday.” I mean, maybe it’s just me, but I don’t want your corpse as a birthday present. If anything the quote should be “I want to live to three hours after you die so that I can throw out all the empty bottles and delete your browser history and burn all our p0rn before the grandkids get here and start poking around in our drawers.” That’s the kind of love you want. Realistic, gritty, slightly unsettling. Get yourself an Eeyore kind of love.
PS. Spellcheck keeps changing “Eeyore” to “Eyesore” and that is exactly the kind of bullshit Eeyore shouldn’t have to put up with but totally would because he’s jaded but also very real. Happy Eeyore Day, y’all. Don’t wish your corpse on people. Unless they’re people you don’t like. Some assholes probably deserve to be bombarded with unexpected birthday corpses. Just choose wisely.
205 thoughts on ““Winnie the Pooh is overrated.” ~ Eeyore (probably)”
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My favorite Eeyore quote, which I own on a rubber stamp:
“This writing business. Pencils and whatnot. Overrated if you ask me.”
Growing up I never realized how hard Eeyore had it. It wasn’t until I became an adult and diagnosed with depression did I realize how much I actually relate to him.
I now realize I need to keep a list of people who should have my corpse delivered to their doorstep once I’m gone.
Yes, to Eeyore, and to his kind of love. God, I get him, I really do. You’ve got my mind spinning out on this kind of love now, Jenny.
I want to know if #3 is planning on doing a sisterhood of the traveling corpse thing or sending pieces to the different people… 🙂
Totally agree with you on this one!! Need someone to clean up after me when I am gone before anyone shows up to claim anything. Lol
You know we have a party in Austin every year to celebrate Eeyore’s birthday, don’t you? http://www.eeyores.org/
“Thaaanks for noticing.” [Eeyore is my patronus, too.]
Totally agree. I always thought that was the worst quote just say “I wish miserableness on you”. But I guess you can say anything as long as most people think you cute, cuddly and adorable.
Eeyore was always my favorite. I was drawn to him even before I really knew how much I related to him.
When she was 4 years old, one day my daughter and I were in an elevator that had a big Winnie the Pooh poster on the wall. It inspired her to notice and ask (in a voice that could probably be heard throughout the whole Department Store) “Mommy, how come Winnie the Pooh doesn’t have either a penis or a vagina?” A sudden hush overcame the elevator as all the others (about a dozen) people, none of who accompanied a child, waited for my answer.
I dropped her hand and looked around as if to ask “who does this child belong to?” Then we got out at the next floor.
I’d like to see your suggestions for what I could have said.
Happy Eeyore Day! Oh Bother….
you are so amazing, it is unbelieveable! Thanks so much for being you. And I felt that about yesterday’s post as well!!
Yes to Eeyore kind of love! I had that pact with my best friend — that she’d come over and burn all my journals should I die. Then she went and unexpectedly died on us, so mourning was mixed with panic. If that’s not an Eeyore moment, don’t know what is.
I LOVE YOU. Yes, happy Eeyore Day, and I hope there are lots of faithful, loving, but realistic loves in your life. (Isn’t Victor a bit of an Eeyore?)
At least Winnie the Pooh tries to cover his nipples. Tigger bounces around bucky-tail naked.
“There is no love as true as the love that dies untold.” No, that’s too depressing. The honey jar stuck on his nose is more my style of love.
There’s an audiobook version of the stories that has Judi Dench narrating and Geoffrey Palmer as Eeyore. 🙂
I’ve also felt that particular quote is a bit selfish. I’m with you on living long enough to “sanitize for your protection.”
Eeyore has always been my favorite as well. What is reassuring is that the rest of the gang knows he’s depressed and just lets him be him without judgement. We should all be so lucky.
Eeyore is my spirit animal.
Be comforted, Pooh never said that, at least not in the books.
On behalf of every bitter, depressive fuck (it me!) whose ever felt like they drain the light from a room, Autocorrect (or “Otto” for brevity’s sake) can have the pear rectally inserted and cranked to the fullest extent. Enjoy hell, ye inanimate fucking object.
Pooh just wants a no-pants party year round. I can sympathize, there.
Aww Eeyore is my favorite!!!!
my mom and i used to collect Classic Poo items, with a focus on Eeyor because he’s perfect. one of my regrets from my 20s (after she died) was that i didn’t make sure to kept any of those things. 10+ years later, i wish i had even just the Eeyor bathroom glass we had to honor her. but it’s all gone.
So, I always thought something was wrong with me because Eeyore was my favorite from the time I could remember and people would always look at me funny when I told them I loved Eeyore. Now it seems, I’ve found my people. And, yeah, that quote…
There are way too many cartoon animals walking around without pants. What kind of message is that to send to our kids?
Eeyore is my spirit animal.
I have always been drawn to the rather neurotic Rabbit character myself. Freaking out, over-reacting, pouting…all me.
I sometimes feel like Eeyore is nearly everyone’s favorite and I’m okay with that.
This quote has never sounded like Pooh (or Milne) to me, and you inspired me to check. Sure enough: http://poohmisquoted.weebly.com/home/poohs-suicide-pact-pillow
I loved this quote too until my husband pointed out that “you” and “I” would have to have the same birthday if this was to work logistically in your favor. And what are the chances of that, Pooh?!
I always loved only Eeyore, till I was reading the books aloud to my kids- while Eeyore still has most of my heart, I’ve come to really appreciate Rabbit’s snark and ‘oh ffs I’LL organise things then, SHALL I?’ and Piglet’s sweet simplicity.
Was in London recently and stumbled across the Pooh exhibition at the V&A; if anyone here can get there, it’s beautifully done, with original artwork and manuscripts.
My favorite Winnie The Pooh quote:
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
Right??? I mean other than the browser cleanup and whatnot, why can’t the quote be “I hope we die at the same time so neither of us has to suffer that grief”? Damn bear. Eeyore all the way!!
I was always so curious about Eeyore’s name (Kanga, Roo, Rabbit, Piglet, Owl… Eeyore?) until someone pointed out that it was the onomatopoeia for the noise a donkey makes. Dude can’t catch a break.
Also does the 100 years line sound like the beginnings of some kind of suicide pact to anyone else? Just me?
Oh my goodness. You are so my people. Of course I had to read this aloud to my husband who now wants to make a “get rid of the bottles and sex toys” plan for when one of us dies.
You got to have that friend that will make sure your moustache is shaved if you’re ever in a coma or dead. Cuz I don’t want to be dead with a moustache or chin hairs for that matter. T-T-F-N ( I’m a Tigger kind of girl.)
My mom says Eeyore is her hero
My favorite quote is, “It never hurts to keep looking for sunshine.”
#11 “It is very very small and the fur covers it.” ?
Love Eeyore! and hate spell check… which keeps changing this post…
#11 “Because he’s a teddy bear”?
It’s my birthday today, and I love that it’s A.a. Milne’s birthday too! I am most definitely on the eeyore side! Thank you Jenny for writing funny posts that make my day, and for your books that made me laugh harder than I had in years!
(Happy birthday! I wish you no corpses! ~ Jenny)
Rejected anniversary card message: “I hope we die together from carbon monoxide poisoning before either one of us needs adult diapers or suffers dementia so that neither one of us ever has to deal with bullshit insurance paperwork.”
Plus this only actually works out if you’re twins. If I said this to my husband it would mean I lwanted to live just over six months after he was dead. I do have a twin sister and would rather not live without her but will not wish my birthday corpse on her. If anything I’d wish that we both drop dead on our hundredth birthday of overconsumption of chocolate cake and prosecco. Our grandkids will be all “We tried to stop them after the second cake and fourth bottle but you could never tell those two anything.”
I mean… the math on that quote is doing a number on my noggin. If I lived to be 100 minus one day I would die in 2078. If my SO lives to be 100, he will live into the year 2083. So there would be roughly four and a half years that sucker would have to get by without me.
It’s only slightly funny that, in my adult life, I’ve typed Eeyore enough that I totally got you on the autocorrect problem; eyesore, as if! I love me some winnie ther pooh and, at 49, the 100 Acre Wood is still my happy place (mostly because I’m now convinced it resides outside of Three Pines from Louise Penny’s novels, read them!). As a child my favorite toy was a fleece Eeyore stuffed with beans, I still miss it. Happy Winnie ther Pooh day!
The most unsettling part of this entire post is the news Pooh only covers his upper nipples. WHERE ARE THE LOWER NIPPLES?
The thing I loved/love most about Winnie the Poohs stories is that I could relate to all of the characters. I found myself in each of them, and re-reading their stories to my niece and nephew I still feel that way. My favorite quote from Winnie the Pooh is “How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” My grandmother quoted it to me when I was 6 years old after our dog died protecting our chickens from a fox. It’s a quote and a feeling that I have remembered ever since and has helped me deal with the passing of 3 other dogs and my own father. I was and am lucky to feel that depth of love and have it returned.
In addition my favorite character was Piglet because he seemed to represent me.
Pooh: Let’s do this insane thing!
Piglet: What if we didn’t?
Pooh: Oh come on. It’ll be fun.
Piglet: I don’t believe you, but you are my friend so okay. Plus hopefully I can make sure you don’t get hurt.
(Excerpt from pretty much every Winnie the Pooh story ever.)
I love Eeyore too. I have over 100 stuffed Eeyores (oh that sounds cruel), Eeyore mugs, bowls, and even a rabbit who looks very Eeyoreish. Oh, and books of Eeyore quotes, truly inspiring. I am 58 years old, I can’t help wondering what went wrong
I spent 25 years married to a Tigger, now I’m married to an Eeyore. I’m much happier.
Favorite Eeyore quote … (bear with me here) First Piglet says “If Eeyore stood at the bottom of the tree, and Pooh stood on his back, and I stood on Pooh’s shoulders …” Eeyore says “And Eeyore’s back should snap suddenly, then we could all laugh, ha-ha! Amusing in a quiet way, but not really helpful.” Eeyore is the best.
I’m too old to have ever seen the Disney (or whoever) version, but I’m pretty sure AA Milne would never had written anything quite so sappy and Hallmarky. It also makes No Sense even in an “I want to leave you my corpse” sort of way unless Pooh and Piglet share the exact same birthday.
eeYORE eeYORE eeYORE
I love your mind! Thanks for making me laugh and see another side.
I always liked Eyeore and piglet, but my favorites were Kanga and Roo. I used to have a stuffed kangaroo with a joey in her pouch and it would entertain me for hours. When I had weight loss surgery a couple of years ago, a friend asked me if I would have a tummy tuck if my excess skin didn’t snap back. I told her I’d rather have it sewn into a pouch so I never have to carry a handbag again. I can’t use it to carry my son around because he’s fifteen and teenagers frown on that sort of thing. Wow. This comment has really gone off the rails so I’ll stop now…
A young couple I knew died tragically in an auto accident. A few of their best friends mobilized and rushed to their house to clean out the liquor cabinet before their teetotaler parents arrived. I know it’s what they would have wanted. Speaking from beyond the grave, I could hear her saying, “Don’t let mama know I drank!”
I love the original Pooh stories before Disney. I still have my copy of “When We Were Very Young” given to me for a birthday present when II was 5 in 1950. I read the book so many times that I almost had it memorized (mainly the poems). I think my favorite story was when Pooh ate too much hunny and got stick in the rabbit’s hole (door).
From a meme that never stops making me giggle:
“What day is today?” asked Pooh
“It’s the day we burn this motherfucker to the ground,” squeaked Piglet.
“My favorite day,” said Pooh.
Agree 100 percent. Eeyore has always been my favorite and I identified with him before I ever acknowledged my depression. Sure he’s cute, but he irritates the hell out of me. His voice in Disney films is especially offensive.
So I’m treating myself to a rare pedicure right now, something I do less than once a year, and I’m looking over at the color I chose before even reading this?
It’s Eeyore color.
None of this stuff is Winnie-the-Pooh, or any of his friends…it’s all Disney propaganda, for which I will never be able to forgive Disney. I love Milne’s characters and Shepard’s drawings.
I think Birthday Corpse was the opening act for Pooh’s Nipples at the Superbowl last year.
I adore you!
Winnie the Pooh is a girl. Betcha didn’t know that?! One of my students told me, and I have to admit, my mind was blown. Google tells me it’s true; Winnie was named after a female black bear…
Happy Eeyore day!!
To #11: I’d have said “It’s just not in the normal place, dear.”
My favorite is Piglet, because he’s always scared but tries to do the right thing anyway.
As for death pacts, I’ve always favored the joint-death-by-meteorite scenario.
My favorite Eeyore quote: “Well…anyhow…it didn’t rain.”
I have always hated that quote. It also assumes you and the other person are the exact same age, so that’s VERY SPECIFIC
Eeyore has always been my favourite too! When my parents took me to Disneyland as a kid, I stood in multiple line ups to get Winnie the Pooh character signatures just to get to the front and have there be no Eeyore (which was the only one I cared about).
lol. I recently saw the movie Goodbye, Christopher Robin, speaking of Winnie the Pooh – have you seen it? I’m curious as to how much of it is true.
I love Eeyore. And I love that the rest go on being friends with Eeyore . It gives me hope.
Wouldn’t simultaneous death be the ideal outcome? SHouldn’t the quote be something like “I hope we both live to be 100, and then plunge off a cliff together Thelma and Louise-style”?
UPPER nipples????? are there more?
(Well I assume so. Aren’t bears like dogs and cats, with rows of nipples running down their torsos? ~ Jenny)
Eeyore is my spirit animal too. I love him. And the hubby feeds that love. I love my hubby.
I don’t believe this is a real quote by A,a. Milne. Doesn’t sound like his writing style. I’ma go check.
You would love the annual festival in Austin for Eyeore’s birthday. Well, actually, like me you would probably love it in theory and from afar, because it’s a festival full of crowds of people, which sounds awful. But I love that Austin celebrates Eyeore. Because even gloomy, depressed donkeys deserve a birthday party if they want one.
No, he didn’t write that and I’m glad because it’s a shitty quote. https://blog.bookstellyouwhy.com/17-essential-and-authentic-winnie-the-pooh-quotes
Piglet was always my favorite, which didn’t make sense until adulthood when I was diagnosed with anxiety. My favorite thing about those stories is that everyone always invited Eeyore and Piglet and accepted that they were depressed and scared all the time.
Just to make it kinda kinky…Winnie the Pooh is a dudette, not a dude. Oh, bother.
I always thought that “quote” was the stupidest and most selfish thing I ever heard. Not to mention the fact that Pooh never said that, nor did Piglet. (Maybe someone wrote that line into one of the movies, I don’t know, because I think making a cartoon out of such an iconic classic work of literature is an abomination and so I never saw them and if they did put that line into one of the movies it doesn’t count and only goes to prove what I just said about it being an abomination.) And of course, Eeyore was always my favorite as well.
My mom every single time I mention how like Eeyore I am: “Remember the episode when they were all trying to cheer him up and basically just wound up beating the crap out of him instead?”
Basically how it feels when non-clinically-depressed people try to make you better.
Long live Eeyore! <3 He’s my spirit animal as well. I have so many stuffed Eeyore’s, it’s a little bit insane. i love that his friends accept him for who he is. Doesn’t matter that he’s depressed – they still want him around anyway. <3
(I’ve always hated that live-to-100 quote too, for the same reasons.)
Oh Jenny. I’m so glad I know you. You always make me smile, even when in the depths of depression. Thank you. P.S. Eeyore is my guy too.
Eeyore has always been my favorite. Piglet was second. Hello depression and anxiety, my old friends. LOL
The thing that always struck me about Eeyore was his friends all tolerated him and loved him despite his gloomy outlook on life. I am an Eeyore, too, and I have a few people IRL who tolerate me (okay, they’re related, they have to) and a few online friends who are sympathetic but that’s what I envied about Eeyore, his friends who loved him anyway.
When my son was little, my mom gifted him an Eeyore doll that sang and flapped its ears. The first time I showed it to my son and Eeyore started flapping his ears like he wanted to take off, my son cried. I had to hide the Eeyore doll because he would just look at it and start sobbing hysterically.
upper nipples? what about his lowers? a-ha! nothing there!
I don’t know if your store still shows up as “Eight Pounds Of Uncut Cocaine” or not, but I think “Unexpected Birthday Corpses” would also make for an interesting expense on one’s bank statement.
Eeyore is my hero too. I occasionally gave out Eeyore stuffed animals to people who worked really hard on a project but got little recognition of their efforts. I called it the “I busted my ass trophy”. I also put a little band-aid on Eeyore’s butt to bring the point home.
any time I see a name of someone famous I admire or even just casually like trending my brain jumps to panic mode. Not. Fun.
It’s nice that a small bear has provided us with lots of beautiful quotes to keep us going through the hard times.
Does Winnie the Pooh have lower nipples?
I had two friends in high school whom we jokingly nicknamed Tigger and Eeyore. They later got married. Then, in spectacularly dramatic fashion, divorced. It seems like we shoulda seen it coming.
I love Eeyore! The Viking is like Eeyore. I don’t know what that says about me though. Maybe I’m an enabler. Geez.
I’m sorry, upper nipples? As opposed to lower nipples? I suppose bears do have rows of nipples. Well there you go, answered my own thought.
Am still bothered by the thought of Winnie’s upper nipples…
I love this so much. thank you.
When I was at Disney World back in 97 or 98, the first thing I ran to see was Eeyore. The line wasn’t too long and I finally got to see him. Let’s just say he lived up to his reputation. Go Tigger.
I still have my original wind up musical Pooh from 47 years ago. I’ll never get rid of it.
I wish I knew where, but I remember reading a piece online about how Eeyore was the perfect manual for how friendship should work when someone is depressed. His friends don’t try to cheer him up or ask him to be different, the don’t leave him out of anything, they just include him and care about him.
This is going in my vows next month.
Seriously, this is why I fucking love you, man. The perfect exampe.
“Some assholes probably deserve to be bombarded with unexpected birthday corpses. Just choose wisely” – That’s awesome! It’s one of those things I wish I thought of and said. So fucking hilarious!
I love Winnie the Pooh, too, and especially Eeyore, but you can’t be too careful these days. I personally own an unexpurgated copy of “Uncle Remus,” but it’s in a locked vault and I never look at it. Really!
I too love Eyyore and YOU!!!
Seriously, how selfish is that? “I don’t care if you’re all sad and shit, as long as I don’t have to suffer.” True love is a murder-suicide pact, anyway.
I love you so much that you should probably just get a restraining order out on me now.
Apparently Winnie’s gender is a hot debate topic. I was of the understanding she was female and it was a misconception that Pooh was male. Upon further research, it’s actually up for debate. Winnie was in fact named after a real female bear, but the fictional bear’s gender is non-specified. The more you know!
Imma keep on believing she’s a female protagonist!
Thanks for the great laugh Jenny. I sure needed it. One of my dearest friends died this weekend and the wake was yesterday, his wife’s birthday. She was fine with it and looked at it like it was one last way that they were bonded. I told her I’d kill my husband if he died on my birthday! I too, want someone to outlive me who’ll clean out all the evidence.
Eeyore is a lovely cynical sarcastic creature.
“Eeyore, what are you doing there?” said Rabbit.
“I’ll give you three guesses, Rabbit. Digging holes in the ground? Wrong. Leaping from branch to branch of a young oak tree? Wrong. Waiting for somebody to help me out of the river? Right. Give Rabbit time, and he’ll always get the answer.”
“But, Eeyore,” said Pooh in distress, “what can we – I mean, how shall we – do you think if we -”
“Yes,” said Eeyore. “One of those would be just the thing. Thank you, Pooh.”
“Oh, Eeyore, you are wet!” said Piglet, feeling him.
Eeyore shook himself, and asked somebody to explain to Piglet what happened when you had been inside a river for quite a long time.
Eeyore! I love Eeyore!!
When I went to Disney a number of years ago, I was so nervous about being away from home that I could barely eat. We did, however, have lunch with Pooh and friends (which makes it sound like we had lunch in a bathroom, actually), and Eeyore was SO sweet to me. He patted me on the head and gave me the best hug and every time he walked past me after, he patted my cheek or my shoulder. Eeyore was the only one who calmed my anxiety in the whole 4 days.
Happy Eeyore Day!!!
Guess if I’d thought about it, I’d have known, of course! You’re an Eeyore!
I’ve found that nicknaming people by their corresponding Pooh characteristics helps those annoyingly effervescent Tiggers to understand, a teensy bit, in their own Tiggers-be-too-bouncy-to-realize-how-hard-it-is-to-keep-up-them sort of way, that their way isn’t everyone’s way. They’ll still go bounding off a nanosecond later, on the hunt for someone of equal energy, but I’ve actually found that they don’t pester me as much anymore. They seem a bit sad about it, but they finally seem to “get it.”
The nice part about a Tigger, though, is that your Eeyore can say “no” a gazillion times but they’ll keep including you in their breathlessly excited plans and instantly forget all the “noes” when you finally feel up to saying “yes.”
I love that you clarified that he only covers his upper nipples. Does he have lower nipples? Maybe yes because he’s a bear? Maybe no because he’s a male bear? How many nipples do bears have? I have no idea, but the whole thing sent me down this path which is already a gift.
You know maybe your autocorrect was right because “Get yourself an eyesore kind of love” sort of fits too.
I just came here to say that my favorites were Rabbit, Owl, & Kanga, because they were clearly the only adults in the woods.
There was this one book I read where the woman was a bounty hunter and was trying to capture this taxidermist and in the midst of trying to get him her friend leaves with a three eyed squirrel. Later there looking at it and realized it’s not an extra eye but a button so the girl presses it. The squirrel starts to dance then explodes send pieces everywhere. Later they ask the taxidermist WTF. He says there taxidermy performance art. Sometimes when I’m mad I wish taxidermy performance art on people but I’m just awful :0)
I love Eeyore – he is my spirit animal.
While the stories are good, the poems are even better.
My mom read them to so often that when I did a senior high school English project I realized that I had most of the stories and poems memorized yet I was reading the words for the first time.
They’re changing guard at Buckingham palace
Christopher Robin went down with Alice
Alice is marrying one of the guard
“ A soldier’s life is terrible hard” says Alice.
They’re changing guard at Buckingham palace
Christopher Robin went down with Alice
A face looked out but it wasn’t the King’s.
“He’s much too busy a-signing things” says Alice
And Eeyore said, “It’s raining….” And it is raining, right on my head.
And Eeyore said, “It’s raining….” And it is raining, right on my head. T
I’m more of a Piglet on my better days, an Eeyore definitely this week with the weather so thank you for the laughs (Jenny and all the commenters). And now I want to listen to Kenny Loggins’ House at Pooh Corner.
I love you. Thank you for putting into words everything I’ve ever felt about my goal relationship.
Thank you for being the absolute perfect level of messed up. I feel so lucky to sort of know you through the interwebs.
For Mother’s Day one year, I gave my mom a copy of “Eeyore’s Little Instruction Manual,” because she has always been an Eeyore fan. Unfortunately, I neglected to read the first page, which contains this accurate but not particularly holiday-friendly sentiment: “Remember, nobody minds, nobody cares.” Twenty years on and she still mentions it every year… :-/
I rarely comment. I adore you to bits and I love finding you in my inbox.
My son, as a teen, wanted his bedroom blue. I brought home color chips and he chose my favorite. He was a bit annoyed to later discover the name on the paint cans were ‘Oh, Bother’ blue. (Bother is one of my favorite words)
Thanks for making me laugh after a hard day. You are the best therapist a girl could ask for. Much ❤️
Upper nipples? Are there “lower nipples?”
teehee – Eeyore is your personal patronus. I thought he was my personal patronus 🙂
I will spend forever not understanding why people think Tigger is wonderful. Eyeore is so much more lovable. But I’m a big fan of Pooh. Hes just doing the next thing. Whatever the next thing is.
I read a story recently. Woman was helping her best friend move house, and ran across a box with her name on it. Confused, she opened it, and discovered that it was full of marital aids. The best friend explained that she had figured that should the worst happen her kids wouldn’t open a box with somebody else’s name on it, just pass it on. It seems like a brilliant way to avoid postmortem embarassment.
Finally! someone else who thinks that quote is assholish. I love you but hey, I don’t want to ever suffer for that, don’t mind if you suffer though! damn
Have you ever thought about producing your own line of greeting cards? “Some assholes probably deserve to be bombarded with unexpected birthday corpses” with an interior photo dead things sounds like quite a birthday card.
Spellcheck changes my name to Maggot.
Spellcheck changes my name to Maggot.
I live with Eeyore, and love every minute.
I do love you so.
“A mother bear has 6 nipples.” — http://www.adfg.alaska.gov/index.cfm?adfg=wildlifenews.view_article&articles_id=296
I do love me some Eeyore, and I never liked the voice of the all-mighty Pooh. It’s just not Teddy Bearish to me. What’s up with his vocal cords? Maybe Pooh speaks when he’s already that ghost as per his sweet comment above?
Seriously though, I hate the voice of Mickey Mouse. And he is the leader of THEE WORLD… You know which cartoon character should take a shot at ruling the world? Sorry Disney, but I got to vote for Snoopy. He is the WWI Flying Ace and companion of the “Round Headed Kid” and friend to the yellow bird he does not eat. He is the guy with the sense of humor, reason, creativity, compassion, and fun around his neighborhood. Snoop Dog is all that and a can of Joe Cool!
If you really want to check out a sad ass donkey show, check out Nestor, the Long Eared Donkey.
I prefer dogs to donkeys.
Yeah! After reading this quote my first thought was, ‘sure, so put your loved one through the horrible amounts of pain involved with losing the one you love.’
The original Winnie the Pooh, Eeyore, Tigger, Kanga , and Piglet are at the New York Public Library, Childrens Center. They look nothing like the Disney version.
Oh, and Roo got lost sometime in the past. The toys are in a display case, no flash photos, though
I worked for a guy who I called “Eeyore” because he sounded exactly like him. But my own personal favorite is Tigger for his joyous celebration of “I’m the only one!” Later, I worked as an engineer and that tribe was fond of saying “It’s not a bug, it’s a feature” which I feel is the same sentiment. Also engineers have fun inside jokes they can say in front of customers, who are prepared to tune us out. If an engineer is standing in front of a customer, they may say something is an “ID ten-t Error” but what that actually is, is ID10T, which now you can probably see, is “idiot.”
Also if they say there’s an “open circuit” error, that just means something was unplugged. But you are still going to be charged the full price for the on-site visit. Now you know.
… All this time I had no idea that quote was from Winnie the Pooh. Wow. Yeah, that’s like super-depressing and rather mean, especially for a lovable kid’s character. I’ve always rather liked those memes and such that show how all of the characters in Winnie the Pooh are examples of some sort of mental illness (Eeyore= depression, Pooh= ADHD, Piglet= anxiety, etc), whether they are meant to be that way or not it’s sort of nice to see well-loved characters who have my flaws.
I’ve always loved Eeyore! It’s been a long love affair. “We can’t all, and some of us don’t.” ~Eeyore
My plan is to leave a nasty poop in my enemies toilet on the day I die and then have a lawyer send them a letter a year later saying “Ha Ha, I left you that nasty poop!”
maybe it means you can dress me up anyway you want, sit me at the birthday table and put me in funny poses me with all your presents, and take pictures and put them on the internet because I know that’s what you would want to do. The least I could do for missing your birthday.
You also get to plan a big wake that the police get called to (twice, but everyone ask them to stay the second time), and a double Viking funeral, with fireworks. It will be legendary, becoming a story passed down for generations. There will also be a small local population bump nine months later. Winnie and Eeyore will be popular middle names.
Eeyore is the best! He has always been my favorite.
I have always believed that Eeyore is misunderstood–he’s doing his best! 🙃
Did I miss something? Does Winnie the Pooh have lower nipples? Where are they?
This is one of my favorite posts ever! Eyeore has always been my favorite, too. Thanks, Jenny.
I feel the same way about that quote. And about that thing that gets shared a lot where a couple is on a motorcycle and the brakes die so the guy gives the girl the only helmet so she lives. Because first of all, it was irresponsible for them to get on there with only one helmet in the first place, and second, someone sacrificing themselves to save me is not going to make me feel better. I’d feel worse, because I would be sad and probably also super stressed out because I’d constantly be feeling like I wasn’t living up to their memory well enough.
Eeyore, the original pre-Disney Eeyore, is my favorite. Stuffed, statues, keychains, my family gives me them because they know I love his sad pragmatic little self.
Elephants for joy and hope, Eeyore for the rest of it.
I played Eeyore in a play in high school. I was dressed head to toe in long underwear that was dyed purple with purple socks and a purple headpiece with big floppy ears. And purple makeup. I looked like a giant grape with ears and tail. But I got a lot of laughs, so I was doing something right. And he is sort of my spirit animal, so it was my honor to portray him on stage.
Right? Fuckin’grim sentiment. I always thought I was an Eeyore person, but one day realized it was Rabbit who spoke to me. It’s his “oh ferfucksake” outlook that most captures Me.
God, I love you, woman. You are a national treasure.
Winnie The Pooh will never be over rated
My favorite Eeyore quote is : “It’s snowing still,” said Eeyore gloomily. “So it is.” “And freezing.” “Is it?” “Yes,” said Eeyore. “However,” he said, brightening up a little, “we haven’t had an earthquake lately.” ~A.A. Milne
A D&D playing friend of mine used to quote –maybe from a tshirt–
“Bother,” said Pooh, staring at Tigger’s lifeless corpse. “I only meant to stun him.”
Dark humor, but it stuck with me.
On a more positive note, a psychiatrist friend says that all the basic personality types are there in Winnie the Pooh’s friends. “I’m a Rabbit,” she said. “All of us Rabbits know we’re Rabbits and we hate it.”
My daughter objects, but I know I’m an Eeyore…
Goodreads has an interesting thread on misattributions by the way.
My hubby always asks me what is it about depressed women who identify with Eeyore? Well, now I can tell him they relate to him, as if we couldn’t see that coming. I don’t like Eeyore. I feel like I’m in big trouble for saying that on this page. Not a fan of Pooh either. I like Kanga and Roo, the little known characters, but mostly I avoid Pooh stuff. I do love the aforementioned meme “Let’s burn this motherfucker down.” Go Piglet!
The cool thing about Winnie the Pooh and Eeyore is that even though Eeyore is clinically depressed, his friends still care and rally around him. It’s a lesson the world needs more reminding of.
Do you remember the live action Winnie the Pooh show, Welcome to Pooh Corner?! That was my favorite as a kiddo and it featured Kanga and Roo. I had forgotten about it until this post, then googled it. Oh the nostalgia!!
Eeyore is kind of like my spirit animal – though sometimes when I am super stressed or anxious I bounce around like Tigger, too.
I for one would just like to add that Disney Pooh is false Pooh. The real Pooh is naked as is common in the teddy community. Also book Eeyore is much better than the Disney one. I refuse to take into consideration that I may be biased by the the fact that my first exposure to Pooh and the rest was as a child when read to by my dad.
Oh that’s the very best love, I would happily live a bit longer than my partner to erase his browser history and burn anything compromising. As for Eeyore, I can relate to him. Wish I had a bit more Tigger in me.
Eeyore was always my favourite too. My sister’s was Tigger. No more perfect a comparison of our personalities exists.
Sometimes your post is so perfect all I can do is laugh, and say I LOVE YOU. <3
my daughter first named her dad “Eeyore” because when asked what he wanted a tuna or cheese sandwich, or which t.v. show or any choice, he always sighed and said “it doesn’t matter” it a perfect eeyore voice. so she bought him his own eeyore and it sat by his bed forever. now since he has passed young, and not expected, I have put him in the window (eeyore not my husband) where he can watch the birds, and the deer and the wild animals and the changing days, and every morning and every night, I let him stay up for night watch. and I am so touched by the knowing that he is doing exactly that … watching.
“I want to live to three hours after you die so that I can throw out all the empty bottles and delete your browser history and burn all our p0rn before the grandkids get here and start poking around in our drawers.” I’m so stealing this for my Valentines Day card to hubby this year.
I was always a Piglet fan. I grew up as the smallest kid in my class and I was shy and I have anxiety. But, given a little push, I can smile along with the best of them.
My dog chose a stuffed Eeyore as her ‘baby’ in the first few weeks after I brought her home – I had to remove the eyes, ears, and tail so she wouldn’t eat them of course – poor Eeyore has endured years of chewing, being shaken violently, dog drool and dragging around the house. I’ve had to sew Eeyore’s outsides up in several places to keep the insides in so my dog won’t eat them, but never would I dream of taking her ‘baby’ away!
Seriously good point. Never considered the passive-aggressive angle of that quote. Ha!
Well, I don’t think Pooh actually said that. Or at least in the books, he and A.A. Milne didn’t sat a lot of the things they are supposed to have said! It might be in one of the movies, I suppose, which could make it Pooh, but wouldn’t make it Milne.The skimpy red shirt is also a Disney invention. Just remember — alternative facts can pop up anywhere! But I hope it gives you some peace to know Pooh is not wishing his decidedly plump corpse on anyone…
See that quote only makes sense to two people who share the same birthdate. Otherwise their deaths don’t sync up & one lives much longer than a day without the other.
Upper nipples? Do you or does someone you know have lower nipples?
@177 I’m pretty sure bears have multiple pairs of nipples, like cats & dogs. I don’t want to google it for fear of what I’ll find, but I’m pretty sure of my factoids.
“Food first, and then the hard work” is an actual Pooh quote, and it’s a good one.
Thank you Jenny Lawson for making my day a little brighter. Thank you spellcheck for always trying to fix a fuckup that isn’t a fuckup! lol
I’m assuming you HAVE been to Eeyore’s Birthday Party in Austin?
I always identified with Eeyore but did not know why til my acute depression was diagnosed!
“We can’t all and some of don’t. That’s all there is to it.”…. “Gaiety. Song-and-dance, Here we go round the mulberry bush.”…”I’m not complaining but there it is.” Oh, he makes so much sense.
I forgot – hi Jenny. I’m feeling very brave today. I hate that my introversion (read Asperger’s) thinks anonymous posting is too far out in public. Hello everyone. deep breath
I love Eeyore! He’s always been kind of my favorite because he’s been through so much and still keeps on keepin’ on!
Hi. This has nothing to do with this post. Right now I am having trouble doing me. But I also have to work and fix a marriage and teach a class and eat. I know you make houses and ferris wheels to help you cope. Can you please tell me where you get them? I have looked but I get frustrated easily at the amount of ‘not what I am looking for’ as I search. Thank you for your help. Shelley
I too love Eeyore. My Mom even made me a pin the tail on Eeyore poster for my birthday was I was 8. I only have two stuffed animals: Eeyore and Paddington. I totally relate to both characters. Love ya Jenny!
This may be your most beautiful post to date.
There is something deeply wrong with Spellcheck changing “Eeyore” to “eyesore” because, as everyone but Spellcheck knows, “eyesore” is two words and Eeyore is a proper noun. This is why you can’t use either one in Scrabble.
As a child I always wondered why I was so drawn to Eeyore, as an adult, I’ve never once questioned it. Pooh and Piglet are way to co-dependent for me, and really who is cheery and happy just all the time? I’ll take an Eeyore kind of love any day.
Do you go to Eeyore’s birthday party at the park? It’s not as good as it used to be…kind of pedestrian but us weirdos are still hanging out up in the tree line.
This is exactly the kind of thing that happens when Disney gets its filthy paws on something. In the books, this never happened. I looked for it, because I still have the books and I still love them. If someone finds this in the books and i am wrong, my apologies, but I don’t think Milne would have done this kind of selfish crap to a children’s book. Team Eeyore, all the way!
“I want to live to three hours after you die so that I can throw out all the empty bottles and delete your browser history and burn all our p0rn before the grandkids get here and start poking around in our drawers.”
This is my new favorite thing. Thank you.
Eeyore is my pooh bear. Also, I LOVE YOU. That’s all.
Must, must, must read the Tao of Pooh.
Thank you for another mantra besides “this won’t fit in my tiny house” as I downsize, now I’ll add “I wouldn’t want anyone to find this going through my house when I die”. 😬
I’m not sure 3 hours is sufficient to throw out the bottles, clear the browsing history, burn the porn AND grieve the loss of you. I’d probably only do the last bit and then die, and won’t the grandkids be embarrassed? WHOOPS!
At Burning Man, there’s a term for what Winnie the Pooh is doing with the shirt and no pants. It’s called shirtcocking, and it’s frowned upon. The thought is “either commit to going nude, or put your pants on.”
Eeyore is my favorite too. I’m almost done reading your third book. I really like them. Thank you for writing them.
Great. Now I’m thinking about Pooh’s underboob.
This TOTALLY needs to be in the wedding vows…
My 3-year-old daughter grows increasingly concerned for Winnie the Pooh’s pants – “Where are they, Dad? Why did he retrieve his shirt but forgot his pants? He may as well be naked.”
I totally did that after my husband died, I threw out all of our sex toys and the porn videos/dvd
s/magazines because I was worried our son would be looking through the drawers for momentoes of his dad and I didnt want that stuff to be his last memories…… now of course I wish I had kept some of that stuff but such is life. 😛
So from that quote we can assume that Pooh is exactly the same age as Eeyor and they share the same birthday, right?
I also think that Winnie the Pooh is overrated…but my patronus is Tigger.