My body is a deadly weapon. Usually just to myself but today it’s really going the extra mile.

in If I was a dog I'd be dead by now, Random Crap

I’m too tired to type so here’s what’s happening now:

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Are you fucking serious right now?

A post shared by Jenny Lawson (@thebloggess) on

Have you had this flu?  If so, what helped?

Going to sleep on the couch and have fever dreams now.  Please send cat pictures.

201 thoughts on “My body is a deadly weapon. Usually just to myself but today it’s really going the extra mile.”

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  2. When I had Siberian Death Flu™️ I watched many football games back to back and remember none of them. Also, I lost ten pounds. Hope you feel better very soon!

  3. What she said! This is a badass bug and not to be trifled with! People have DIED, and we can’t afford to lose you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. NOOOOOOO! Surely someone else, maybe someone on Karma’s shortlist, could have drawn this short straw on your behalf. How much can our Jenny take? Serenity now!!!! I know we’re all going to benefit from the retelling of those fever dreams, but it seems wrong for us to profit here. Or, mayyyybbeeee, you still feel so great, compared to how you should feel with the real bad kind of flu, because your body has learned to handle it like a BOSS? Maybe? Hopefully, anyway. Smooch. Sorry.

  5. Nothing helped but time and naps. A few days after I finally felt better, an undiagnosed clot in my leg threw clots to my lungs. I’m just now out of the hospital.

    I’ve been hanging around you too much.

  6. For me it was low-grade fever and coughing & congestion for over a week, so didn’t think it was THE FLU. But yep, this one sneaks up on you. Eventually the cough was so bad I had to go to the urgent care. TheraFlu at night (the gross liquid one that tastes like lemon flavored ass) was the only thing that got me to sleep and I used a humidifier to keep me from coughing. It took a week and a few extra days to feel better. ALSO GET LOTS OF SLEEP.

  7. Oh shit, I am SO sorry.

    We’re probably taking my son to get tested for the flu in the morning. He was sneezing and coughing all weekend and I thought he just had a cold. Then this morning, he was kinda complain-y but I put that down to him not feeling well from the cold and not being a morning person. Lo and behold, about 30 min after school started, the nurse called me to come get him because he says he’s really cold and he’s running a fever. My son’s inclusion teacher (she’s kind of like an aide since he’s in SpEd) says that Son’s bestie/”girlfriend” who is also his science lab partner (they have science first period) and her twin sister are both out sick with the flu as is his science teacher.

    Well poop.
    I had my flu shot but I’ve been told so many times since I got it I might as well have injected glittery unicorn pee into my arm because that’s about how well the flu shot this year is working.

    I hope you feel better. Take care of yourself girl. <3 <3 <3

  10. Drink a lot of water. Take tylenol for fever. Nap. Then drink a LOT more water. Nap. Hug cats. Hug dog. Nap. Drink more water. That’s all I’ve got. ((hug))

  11. If it’s the flu and it’s early on the doctor can give you Tamiflu to help. Also you might need an inhaler and a few other things. As someone who got a very serious case of the H1N1 flu virus a few years back I cannot stress enough to see a doctor. I would not wish the real flu on my worst enemy.

    (She gave me a steroid shot and I just picked up tamiflu. ~ Jenny)

  13. Lots of fluids, rest, and The Great British Baking Show. Unless food makes you sick. Then watch something else.

  15. Sorry Jenny! My daughter and I battled flu A last week. It really, really sucks.

  16. I had the flu recently for nine days. My husband let me know by how often he sighed how inconvenienced he was.

  18. Try elderberry juice—it stops viruses from replicating. Zinc would help. Ginseng may help. Those are things i take proactively all flu season and ( knock wood) have had very few issues for years. I drink the elderberry juice that has no sugar and is basically boiled elderberries. I also use ginger either in capsules or real ginger. Hope you feel better soon. Those are my favorite voodoo curse killers.

  20. The only thing that helped me was having a partner to care for me and eventually drive me to urgent care after I got the most intense migraine of my life from dehydration. Honestly, do not hesitate to go to urgent care for IV fluids! I received 4 units that day and didn’t even feel the urge to pee afterward because my body was so dried up. I wish I had better tips, but I’ve only had the flu twice, and it was equally sucky both times. (Ironically, I’ve only had the flu shot twice also, and those were the years I got sick.)

  21. Try putting a little Vick’s on the inside of your bathtub. Not on the floor where it will wash away.
    I’m sorry you’re sick. ☹️

  22. My doctor said the flu shot this year wasn’t as effective against this strain but maybe it’ll help with the symptoms a little. Taking tamiflu (which was not easy to find) so maybe that’ll help. It was dumb expensive though (almost $200 out of pocket for the test and meds even with my insurance) so I’m feeling grateful that I could afford it. Especially when you’re too exhausted to fight about it. I asked the pharmacist about the cost (and it was generic too) and he said it’s been covered at different amounts according to insurance companies and that at this point people are just happy to be able to find some. That feels wrong but I’m too tired to complain about it.

  23. Yeah, we all took Tamiflu here because my son tested positive for strep on Friday and then tested positive for flu on Monday. Poor guy still isn’t 100% from it yet and he was diagnosed two weeks ago today. It is nasty. That said, I hope it doesn’t make you feel worse and that you’re feeling better soon!

  24. Send Victor to the pharmacy to buy Oscillococcinum immediately. It’s a homeopathic remedy for the flu! It won’t interfere with any meds you are taking. I’m in the same boat as you, RA, Osteo, Sjogrens, fibromyalgia, etc and my immune system is non-existent. Also, start slamming down probiotics to help what little immune system you have. This stuff works!!! PS I’m also sending you waves of healing energy, just to cover all the bases.

  25. There’s a gal in my yoga class that is basically, as she calls it, the “Typhoid Mary of the Flu.” She’s NEVER systematic when she gets it. She gets her flu shot, crosses her fingers, and goes though gallons of hand sanitizer.

    My best flu cures are hot strong black tea with lemon and Bärenjäger, a good binge-able show (Miss Fisher Murder Mysteries. Murdoch Mysteries, Great British Baking Show if the idea of food doesn’t make you nauseous) and LOTS of soup and crackers.

  26. I don’t go out of the house and that’s they way I stay safe from the nasty flu bugs. I also wash my hands often especially before I eat or after I have had to go outside and do stuff like buy groceries. I also get plenty of sleep and so far I’ve not had the flu but it won’t be over for a few more months yet so I have a face mask on the ready if a family member gets sick.

  27. Elderberry syrup seems to be working for some people. Lessens the severity and duration of the flu.

  28. Oh no, Jenny! I was so worried about you getting the flu. I went to the ER on December 9th and was tested. I had both the A and B strain of the flu, and I’m still sick! I also had gotten the flu shot. It’s total shit! Nothing has helped me. I have to sleep a LOT. But as of today, our entire house is under construction. 😞 I think you should go to your autoimmune specialist and have her/him decide how best to handle this. It’s VERY dangerous! Love you! ♥️

  29. Actually, I you may have the actual big gun Influenza A or B. If you go to medical care and you test positive, they can give you a med called Tamiclu but it works best within the first 48 hours of showing fever and other symptoms. You will still have the flu but it can lessen the severity. My daughter’s family just went through it all this week, Influenza A. The trick is to get diagnosed early. Hope yog’re Better soon.

  30. Oh yeah, Alka-Seltzer Cold & Flu (the fizzy kind you drop into water) is my go-to. Get the AM/PM combo pack. Take every 4 hours on the dot. Also stock up on Gatorade to keep your electrolytes in check.

  31. OH NO OH NO OH NO THE FLU IS BAD THIS YEAR NO NO ONO NO NO NO YOU HAVE THE BAD ONE NO OH NO IM SORRY

    Get better soon 🙁 🙁 🙁

  32. That flu SUUUUUUUCKS, and if you don’t take care of it, it becomes an upper respiratory infection, bronchitis or Pneumonia. I was sick for 3 weeks, then had to take steroids and antibiotics along with the cough syrup and mucinex.
    When I finally went to the doctor, they told me the flu shot this year was only 10% effective.
    REST, FLUIDS AND DRUGS!
    Feel better soon!

  33. Suuuuks. I had it too. Lots of sleeping, sray hydrated, my go to meds: Mucinex DM for the phlegm, Zicam, which is just zinc, lots of tissues, saline nose rinse was recommended but I can’t deal. I will try and share a sweet pic of dogs since I don’t have any good pics. Rest Bloggess!

  34. Oscillococcinum. Yes. This. It will address all the symptoms and have you feeling better.
    Also, the sleeping. The water.

  35. Thought it was flu. Instead pneumonia. This SHIT is the real deal! Go to the dr, sleep, take your meds. On Day 6 and just got out of bed. Moving slowly, but moving. Fever dreams….been there.

  36. FYI The flu shot has three strains of influenza that the CDC determines could be the most deadly based on global illness patterns. This doesn’t mean if vaccinated you will not get “the flu” because there are many various strains of influenza, plus the little buggers can mutate. But you can definitely still catch a flu bug if you have had the vaccination. People don’t seem to get that concept because it isn’t widely published.

  38. I’ve been infected with something and feel miserable. I called the doctor so they’d examine me and make sure I didn’t have the flu. Instead after I told them my symptoms over the phone, they told me to get various OTC drugs and call back in a few days if it doesn’t get better. It doesn’t help that this is the second time in just over two weeks I’ve been sick, this time significantly worse. I don’t get sick pay, so it’s hurting my wallet too (and I’ve only been at this job a couple months). I’m about to take some drugs and hope for sleep. The frustration of it all is messing me up. Anyway, that doesn’t help you, but hopefully you feel better soon! I’ve been giggling at incredibly stupid videos online all day. <3

  40. Oh, no! I hope you feel better soon. Almost everyone in my lab has come down with this flu. I’ve been barricaded in my office like it’s the Walking Dead out there trying to avoid getting sick. Several people have sworn by Tamiflu.
    Here are some cute kitties to look at while you’re convalescing: https://www.instagram.com/phoebefebruary

  41. I don’t know whether to make you chicken soup, or just offer to delete your browsing history in the event you become comatose or dead.

    Don’t end up dead.

    I’ve never heard anybody recommend it.

  42. Like Laurie at #6, it’s been low fever and congestion for about a week for me. I’ve been sleeping constantly, and my chest hurts from coughing. I tried sleeping on the couch to keep my husband from getting it, but I think all I did was delay it since he’s home sick 5 days after I came down with it. (Bonus! he has a sinus infection, too!). I seem to be on the back side of it, still sleeping a ton, which has been what’s helped me the most — that and Nyquil to calm the cough.

  43. Oh, Jenny…..I’m on day 10. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to die, but am still sleeping 16 hours a day from post viral fatigue. Remember this, we are going to have a mental nosedive during and after this mess, so stay connected. My hugs are officially not contagious so virtual hugs to you. I was reading “Furiously Happy” last night and I could tell that when I couldn’t stop coughing, it was time for another nebulizer treatment. So you helped me!! Sleep and sleep and sleep and take your medications. And drink alot of fluids. Wine slushies don’t count.

  45. I had the flu and a cold and used Oil of Oregano (in pill form, the liquid makes me gag) to help fight the cold portion. It helped get my cold down to just 3 days of feeling crappy. Hope you feel better soon!

  46. So sorry to hear that. I tried to upload a video of my cat licking lavender smelling soap, but failed. It’s one of those kinds of days.

    Yes, he licks soap. All the time. Who knew?

  47. Yesterday this flu crept up on me out of nowhere. Then boom fever, headache, hacking cough chills etc.. Sorry you jave it too. I am drinking a magic potion of ginger, turmeric, lemon, lime, this me and rosemary with hot water and honey. It’s not curing anything but it is lessening the symptoms. Also tea, water and tylenol for the ungodly headache and sleep. I hope you heal quickly!

  48. Yes. My mama got sick. She ended up with the fever-gastric-issues-with-congestion variety, and has been ill for a solid 3 weeks, including 5 dr visits and a trip to the ER for severe dehydration. It’s NOT a good year at all for it. Lee Ann is right about the flu shots, still get yours every year! And if you’re like me with the FUBAR’ed immune system, ask about the pneumonia vaccine also. It’s a 5 year coverage for viral pneumonia.

    It’s not a preventative for bacterial pneumonia, which I got 2 years after my first one. eyeroll

  49. Sucky suck! I don’t have any helpful (or unhelpful) suggestions on how to get better, just hoping you do soon!

  50. Let the doctor do a flu test. They can put you on Tamiflu, which can shorten your ordeal by days.

    One of my co-workers got sick on Friday, and she hasn’t been back to work since. And I’m okay with that. I do not wish for germs. No flu. No germs. No flu.

    I hope you are feeling better soon. Sometimes when we’re too sick, NOTHING seems doable. I sometimes watch movies with my eyes closed.

  51. I had really moderate symptoms but it just kept shapeshifting! The flu itself lasted about a week and now I’m going on a week + of residual crud. Blargh. I just want to stop taking mucinex already!

  52. I’ve never had a flu shot and I never will, and I haven’t had a flu in about 7 years (last time I had one was when I had roommates who caught it and then kept touching everything in the fucking house with their nasty dirty hands). Flu shots can certainly be effective, if the dartboard method for picking which strain of the flu will hit this season is accurate. But, there isn’t any way to know which strain will actually take hold during the season. And the side effects from a flu shot can be just as bad as the flu itself.

    I get head colds at least once every two months, though. So, it’s a trade off.

    I’m sorry you caught this season’s strain. =/ That really sucks. I don’t know what can help with it other than the usual rest, chicken soup, orange juice, etc. I hope you feel better. <3

  54. Flu diagnosis aside, I respectfully encourage you to put up more video blog posts. Such wonderful engagement.

    Wishing you quick recovery, green tea, and splendid sleep.

    @WriterDann

  55. Flu sucks…I got it. I got to cough up blood! So…yay? At first I was hoping it was consumption because that sounds so Bronte but really no…just the flu. And the fever dreams are awesome…I dreamed a whole stand up routine until someone yelled “show us your tits!” to which I replied “Ladies and gentlemen President Trump in da house.” But then the crowd turned on me and I woke up. But I didn’t consider until now that I might be weaponized. If I had any energy I’d go lick the mean girls from high school. I recommend blankets, Netflix and cats.

  56. I had it. It was horrible. But when I get sick I always get it bad. The flu shot I got this year was not fully effective for the strain I got, mix that with immune issues and other health issues i get horribly sick. Had to go through two inhalers, two types of antibiotics, cuddles with a magic bag for warmth, water and cat YouTube videos. Oh and a few trips to the hospital for chest X-rays. And a few sleepless nights where I debated trying to find a bubble to live in off amazon.
    I hope you get over it fast. And here’s a cat video I found when I was sick 🙂
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ndsaoMFz9J4

  62. I feel your pain. Went to urgent care. Flu was negative, as was the rapid strept, but they are sending out a culture for that, just to be safe. For now, diagnosed with flu like viral bronchitis. Breathing hurts. Meds are making me jittery, and I hate it. Called out of work today.. and may do so for tomorrow as well. I work at a pharmacy.. so it kind of sucks to not be there. If I do go in tomorrow, I’ll be wearing a bright yellow mask to keep my contagions to myself as much as possible. Blech.

  63. Tylenol, Advil, (Buckley’s cold and flu for symptom relief) and water, water, water! Seriously, stay hydrated! Love you baby! ❤️

  64. Oh no, I’m so sorry, Jenny. I have no helpful advice, but I’m just wishing you a speedy recovery. Please rest and take care of yourself!

  65. You are not currently your normal, vivacious self.

    But you will be, again, one day soon. Very soon. Get as much sleep as you can. Get a humidifier. Have some hot broth. Snug a cat.

  66. I never get the flu shot and I’ve only had the flu once in the last 40 years, and that was because I went to the doctor’s office – an orthopedic surgeon, mind you – and apparently someone there had the flu and had touched doorknobs or other surfaces that I also touched, because 48 hours after my visit I came down with the flu and four days later it turned into pneumonia. (Now I am a hand sanitizer addict.)

    Getting a flu shot is an individual decision and I would never tell anyone what they should do. But after working in the medical field for most of the aforementioned 40 years, I can tell you this: It takes months to produce the flu vaccine. By the time it is distributed, the flu virus has mutated numerous times. So if you get the flu shot, you are protected from the flu strains that were prevalent 6+ months ago, not necessarily the ones that are going around when you get the shot. So that’s why you can get the Whatever Death Flu when you got the flu shot. YMMV, make your own decision.

  67. I have been taking doTERRA OnGuard for a number of months. Although I felt horrible and had a fever and sore neck for about 4 days, it stayed in my sinuses. I used the NeilMed (salt / baking soda) sachets and their big honking nasal irrigator (less messy than a netty pot); sinupret (herbal decongestant); strong peppermint tea with sugar; lobelia (anti-spasmodic for the cough until it got really bad); hot water bottle; OTC cold medicine you drink in hot water a few times; regular afrin nasal spray; nasonex… and this got me through most of the head stuff. I did end up going to teh doctor because I was coughing spasmodically and couldn’t catch my breath. I got an inhaler and some codeine – so – I am on the mend… 2 weeks later. (I binge watched at least 24 movies) Still coughing and inhaling… Feel better! <3

  70. REST, REST, REST, SLEEP, FLUIDS, REST SOME MORE, FLUIDS, FLUIDS, TAKE YOUR MEDS, and make Victor wait on you hand & foot. I really like the post about the flu vaccine being about effective as glittery unicorn pee…let’s get that injected into our arms next year & see if it works better. 🦄🦄🦄

  72. I’m just on the other side of it and the good news is that you live.

    When it first started and I thought it was just a cold I thought, “Great! Now I can catch up on that season of Call the Midwife.” And then I was unconscious for 3 days (except for the part when I went to the doctor and she tested my snot and confirmed it was influenza).

    The other good part is that everyone’s going to be fine while you’re unconscious. They’re going to take care of you and everyone/everything else.

    I’m on day 8 and for the past two days I’ve stayed awake all day. Today I even left the house twice and did Productive Things I Usually Do. But I gave myself permission to not make dinner even though I feel guilty that my husband has been doing it all.

    I have e-mailed to cancel a couple of things I thought I could do tomorrow but now I know I just can’t.

    I’m so sorry you are having to go through this because I don’t want anyone else to have it. It’s super unfair because it’s not like you signed up for it. In fact, you probably expressly requested to NOT have it. But the good news is that you live.

  73. I did that with walking pneumonia twice. Went to the doctor just to make sure what I thought was a cold was a cold and not something bacterial and got told I had effing pneumonia and worse than that it isn’t the kind where fluid fills your lungs. No, no. This kind your lungs are actually drowning in tiny bacteria with no cell wall making most antibiotics ineffective. It’s real fun. And it eventually gave me adult onset asthma which is apparently a thing. So go to your doctor, people! You could be drowning in bacteria and not even know!

  76. This is terrible! I think the most important things to do when you’re sick are:
    1. establish a couch-bed situation with a ton of blankets
    2. eat a gallon of soup
    3. find tv shows where it doesn’t matter if you fall asleep and wake up 20 minutes later
    I hope you feel better soon!

  77. If it’s early enough, Tamiflu will work wonders! You’ll feel like ass for a few days, but not nearly as long as you would without it! Lots of bed rest, and cuddle with your fur babies! That’s what worked for me.

  78. It is some mutherfucking Little House on the Prairie shit going around. (Even though she had no fact-checker and may have only visited Calsbad Caverns)

    We love you! I wish you lots of rest and not scary fever dreams.

  79. Jenny, feel better! I’m in Austin and was diagnosed Saturday with the slightly less terrible type B. Sounds like you have A? Anyway, the tamiflu, cough syrup, ibuprofen, and fluids plus tons of sleep are doing the trick. But yeah – holy shit, the dreams when you have a fever! It’s like being in a sci-fi movie.
    Get better quick, honey!

  82. Tamiflu should be available otc for all! It works wonders and isn’t recreational
    Helped fix us in a couple of days. Glad you’re on it now!

  83. I lost my mom to this flu last Tuesday. She was only 53 and otherwise healthy. Please take care of yourself

  85. I do not currently have the flu, but a neti pot is basically the only thing that lets me sleep when I have congestion.

  87. I haven’t had the flu in over 15 years, so I can’t vouch that this will help, but I work in a CVS and in the last couple weeks, quite a few people have been coming and asking for Sambucol black elderberry and Oscillococcinum.

  89. Mine started on December 22. Here we are one month later, and I’m still not fully recovered. I had flu-like symptoms, but not the usual “I think I’ve been hit by a bus” symptoms. This morning there was a doctor on the radio talking about thus year’s flu symptoms, and he described my symptoms exactly. He said the reason people end up getting really sick is because they don’t feel badly enough to totally rest and get over it.

    The positive spin I can put on feeling crappy for this long: I’ve lost about 7 pounds. Unfortunately, I know it will come back once I start eating normally again.

    So the bottom line: Totally rest, drink plenty of fluids, and give yourself the time you need to get better.

  90. Jennie please please rest and drink soup and cuddle kitties. We worry about you and I’m worried about you. The flu terrifies me. I’m praying for you lady

  93. Lots of turmeric (3 tablespoons , black pepper, fresh ginger, apple cider vinegar, in a solution of your choice. Maybe with some protein. Drink 1.5 liters a day. Mine lasted < 24 hours.

  94. So I can’t let you borrow my heated blanket and snuggly kitty, but I can send pictures of kitties snuggling.

    kitten and rooster: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/14/01/dd/1401ddb932c1ae42412b9b1cf851122e.jpg

    cat and chicken: https://i.pinimg.com/736x/a0/ed/e5/a0ede59a71e9099ff89573a95e67791b–chicken-chick-chicken-coops.jpg

    kitten and all the chicks: https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/campaign_images/web05/2012/8/29/11/one-ginger-kitten-cuddles-with-one-million-baby-c-1-12500-1346252487-30_big.jpg

    kitten and turtle: http://i.imgur.com/4zsRnJK.jpg

    even raccoons love cats: http://www.catsvscancer.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/raccoon-loves-cute-orange-kitty.jpg

    and just aww: http://welovecatsandkittens.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/kitten-cuddles-pair.jpg http://www.kittencatpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/kittencuddle.jpg

    and help, I’m drowning in fluff! http://cdn.sortra.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/fluffy-cat015.jpg

  95. Oscillococcinum (can buy at drug store, Walmart, etc.) can shorten the duration and intensity. THe stores around here are selling out of it, apparently it helps. Maybe Victor can pick some up for you. I hope you feel better soon.

  96. Sorry: I believe this started with us last winter! I had it and it’s not particularly fun. I suggest the standards, i.e., chicken soup; oranges; The Aquitted (Norwegian drama); Fortitude (set somewhere cold, but not sure which country produced it);lots of sleep.

  97. Bionic woman marathon. Or Classic Wonder Woman. Or both. Apply cats as needed.

  98. Tamiflu, hot toddies, ice packs, heated blanket,
    Vicks, sudafed, mucinex, couch potatoed for 2 weeks with my favorite books,binged on shows.

  99. Has anyone said “baths” yet? Go live in the bathtub. It keeps you hydrated even when you’re too exhausted to keep drinking tea. My son just got over this flu, and I am just heading into it. My husband has it right now in another country. It’s everywhere.

  102. My illness advice is always: drug yourself and sleep through it. Benadryl is a crowd favorite but ymmv.

    Also hot honey lemon water is nice.

  103. I’m so sorry you are feeling bad. Everyone has had great suggestions, but I just hope you feel better.

  104. NyQuil severe cold and flu worked wonders for me. And lots of rest. Even when you’re sick of it. REST

  105. At least, since you had the shot, you won’t be having it as bad as you could have! That’s my little bit of optimism. Okay. It doesn’t mean you still won’t be sick. This sucks. Seriously. Rest, drink fluids, take care of you! I’m so sorry. I can’t figure out how to post a cat picture in this blog, but my cat and I send our best wishes to you! Well, I’m thinking my cat really doesn’t give a fat rat’s ass, but don’t take it personally. Hope you’re feeling better soon.

  106. If I get a flu shot, 100% chance I’ll get the flu. If I don’t get a flu shot, like 3.5% chance I’ll get the flu. So, I don’t get flu shots. I do take Vitamin C, D & B12 every day though.

  107. Oh, Jenny, I’m sorry to heart this. I guess it’s good the doctor caught it early?? Please take care of yourself, and feel better soon. <3

  110. Type A survivor here. Mine came on super fast and I dragged my sick, coughing, sneezing ass down to the walk-in clinic on new year’s day. I kept a doctor’s mask on the entire time which sadly the majority of those equally sick and nasty did not do. Thankfully I went early enough for tamiflu to help without making me jump out any windows (who the hell knew that was a possible side effect?!) Rest, drink fluids and go easy on yourself.

  111. You’re superwoman if you have the flu and feel nothing. Hope you get better soon.

  112. Hope you feel better so soon! I wish I had magical advice that could help but all I can remember is just thinking about how I would be better someday and I couldn’t wait to enjoy how good that felt. Other than that, I had to force myself to lay in bed with the shakes,chills,fever, sometimes a cool cloth on my forehead, blankets, no blankets, a steamy shower for just a few minutes because that’s all I could stand for (both meanings, like literally stand up and also tolerate). I think someone mentioned living in the bathtub. It’s so hard and I hope you find something that works for you! Looking back on the comments, I am seeing things that have worked for me in the past, oranges, chicken soup, lots of rest even if you can’t fall asleep, whatever drugs you have good luck with (I love liquid nyquil for any ailment just to help me sleep through the really rough parts!). Hang in there!!!!

  113. Oh my! I feel very badly for you… had the nasty flu over New Years. The one with headaches and every part in my body hurts including my hair, no appetite, high fever (over 102), chills, the whole enchilada which I had no desire to eat. Lots of water and hot tea, jello, an occasional bagel and LOTS of rest. Thankfully I didn’t get the stomach upset or poops version, just made me so weak I coukdn’t move around a lot. Hope you start to feel better soon!

  114. Good ole’ Influenza…I had it over xmas. Not recommended over the holidays (or any other time). I got my doc to call in Tamiflu for me, plus had a flu shot this year, so I was only really sick for about a week. Felt pretty

  115. This flu DOES NOT MESS AROUND. Seriously. It was a baaaaaaad one down under this season, and even those of us who got vaccinated (no debates, thanks) got crook. What helped? LOTS of fluids (soup, soup, soup, until you think you can’t stand another damn bowl or cup of any variety of soup, chicken is especially good if your beliefs can manage it) and REST. And, I am in no way joking here, if you get sicker, like if your temperature goes up or you are NOT getting better? HOSPITAL. This flu killed not just babies or old people or sick people,mit killed healthy people and killed them fast. It was super scary, Please take is seriously, Australia’s experience with this flu was pretty full on.
    Sending hugs and pleas take care of yourselves, all of you!

  116. I posted a few weeks ago that I went to Urgent Care cuz I thought I had a cold and it turned out to be one of FOUR HUNDRED viruses that are flu but were not covered by the flu shot specifically I had the virus that causes Croup inbabies and toddlers but only kids can call it Croup so I was labeled Flu Z, totally contagious – hubby had to move out of the bedroom and kept spraying Lysol at me and I had it for THREE AND A HALF WEEKS and I have Crohn’s Disease so I am also autoimmune which really sucks when you get this shit cuz I have had 8 fully opened abdominal cavity surgeries, removal of the upper lobe of my right lung, a tracheotomy (do I really need to go on?) and I have NEVER BEEN SO SICK AS WITH THIS SHIT! Feel better Beloved Bloggess! Here are some pictures of my awesome “kids”….SHIT! How do I add pictures of my Awesome Fur Babies? I don’t know how this works!! (Pathetic!)

  118. Oh no! I hope you heal quickly. I’m holding on to hope that I don’t get the crud, too. This year’s strains are especially bad for us “high-riskers”. Much love.

  119. Oh – PS – NO FUCKING COFFEE! I felt so bad, my head was killing me and my husband made his new favorite dark roadt, grinding the beans himself which I think makes it stronger and I drank my usual 20oz mug thinking it would help my throat and chills. So then I was shaking and humming head to toe from CoffeeBuzz and couldn’t even lay my poor aching head down because I was certain the doctor must have mentioned running laps in the back yard, or maybe that was the description on the back of the pack of coffee beans! NO FUCKING COFFEE!!

  122. You are a Goddess. With a capital “G”. You have beaten me with problems! I sometimes think that my life is fucked up, and you one-up me! Every time! That is why I love you! I may die from some real or imagined disease/condition, but yours are always better than mine! Just kidding, of course… sort of… but seriously…. or, at least as serious as one can be when we suffer from some pretty serious problems, thanks… thanks a lot. I mean really… a lot. I am not one of those people who are happy and healthy and star in toothpaste commercials… I am a real person with real problems, and you are too… and that is why I love you.

  124. Glad your doctor insisted on testing you. Hope the steroid shot and Tamiflu do their jobs! Sending you an email with some entertainment. 🙂

  125. Jenny, honestly..I’m not surprised it cost that much for Tamiflu.

    About 4 years ago, my sister brought her sick kids to the family Christmas Eve party and both my son and I ended up with the flu really badly. We went to the doc in the box at the Walgreens, because that was (and still is, even with our new insurance) cheaper than either urgent care or a doctor’s office visit. She said “Yup, you’ve got the flu. Here’s a prescription for Tamiflu.” and when we went to the pharmacy to get it filled, they said it would be about $400 for the two prescriptions. I’m pretty sure my husband’s jaw hit the counter when he heard that and we noped out of there because we could barely afford to go see the doc in the box let alone drop $400 for medication. If we take my son to the doc in the box tomorrow and they tell us he has the flu, we’re screwed. I haven’t been working as much the last 5-6 mos or so because of my anxiety and depression and like always, we WAY overspent on Christmas. So right now things are kinda tight. I didn’t work at all last week because I had a shitty slipped disc (at least that’s what Dr. Google told me it was, I didn’t go to a real dr because no $$$) that had me laid up for most of the freaking week. 🙁

    I’m TRYING to find the good in life right now and I’m trying to laugh, but honestly, it’s like God (or whoever) is pissing on me and trying to make me believe it’s fucking raining.

    Thank you. I cannot thank you enough for “Furiously Happy” and “You Are Here”. Those are my lifelines right now.

    Well, that and a LOT of Dr. Pepper and nacho cheese flavor Doritos. Some people drink, some smoke and some do illegal drugs. I drown myself in Dr. Pepper and Doritos.

  126. I had that same conversation with MY doctor! I can’t have the flu! I feel crappy but not, like I’m Dying Crappy. It can’t be the flu! Dr.: well… let’s just shove some swabs through your nose into your frontal lobes just to be sure. Ohhhh was. You’d definitely have the flu. Also, you’re not getting enough oxygen because your lungs suck. So she gave me Tamiflu and jt really helped within a few hours! I love it when there’s something wrong with me that can still be fixed!

  128. Husband and I both were vaccinated months ago. He and spent the MLK weekend and the next week dragging our sorry butts around, sometimes bedbound, but hardly any other symptoms than being tired and feeling like our immune systems were fully mobilized. We’re feeling better, so if we got off easy with a few days in bed, some saltwater gargles, hot toddies, and a half-box of tissues, I count vaccination a win.

  129. Another Fluzie here. Going on exactly one week since being dx’d, and only now can I talk and breathe without coughing hard enough to make me see spots. And yes, I had the &@%ing jab. You absolutely have to take care of yourself, whatever that entails. I didn’t want Tamiflu because there’s a shortage of it here, and I knew I could tough it out. But sleep, chicken soup, Mucinex, Advil/Tylenol, Prednisone, nasal spray, and diet soda have brought me through. And some potato chips. I don’t know why on that last part, it just worked. And loads of Kleenex.

    This flu thumbs its nose at the jab as it sashays right past your immune system and into your lungs. Bastard. Be prepared to lose at least 10 days, as much as it pisses you off, or you will indeed wind up in the hospital for a month or so.

  130. Pingback: Has It Really Been Two Months? | To Hither and Yon

  131. I’m going to try to post a picture of my Phobos on top of my washing machine (yes, he has a twin brother named Deimos). He’s got a bit of a weight problem and so I put him on a diet. I’m pleased to say that even though he might not be losing weight, the new restricted caloric intake has given him the energy to make it to the top of our washing machine:

    https://78.media.tumblr.com/6cdd0db71611ccae31949cf689b2b7de/tumblr_p2zqrdLoeD1vbcu67o1_500.jpg

    If this doesn’t work, the link at the end of my comment has this same photo.

  132. Would it make you feel any better to know that I blogged about you today? AND posted a picture of myself wearing a tie-dyed Rory shirt? That shirt is a magical mood-lifter, for sure.

  133. If sore throat or coughing (lots of folks here coughing until they puke), warm saltwater gargles every 1-2 hours. Stay ahead of that symptom!
    Garlic, honey, hot fluids … consume often. And try to sleep. Honest, that’s helping more than anything up here.

  134. I was out for almost two weeks with the flu this year, even after getting a flu shot. I had Tamiflu, DayQuil/NyQuil, lots of fluids, and lots and lots of rest. In fact, I wasn’t awake for for than five hours at a time.

  135. Sleep if as much as you can.Drink lots, and lots of fluids and wear some incontinence underwater or pads because it’s hard not to per when you are coughing your lungs out. I got some relief by drinking 8 oz cups of hot water with 1 tablespoon Braggs apple cider vinegar with 1 or more teaspoons of honey. Inhale steam or at least keep the house humidified. Not the over flowing sink and collapsed ceiling kind. Just boil a big pot of water fun a hot shower or use s humidifier. I got a flu shot and only came down with a mild case. If your cough is uncontrollable a steroid inhaler can help. I have asthma and started using one at first symptom. Friends who don’t have asthma have been prescribed inhalers. Take care.

  136. I had the flu in November and missed three weeks of work, it was pretty awful. Hot tea, hot toddies, and hot showers were the only things that kept me sane. I even filled up the bath tub one night (a rare occasion in my house). It seems a little odd that hot water would make me feel better when I already had a fever but it really helped ease the body aches and loosen up the snot. We had soup and toast for thanksgiving dinner because we didn’t dare visit our families and neither of us had the energy to cook.

  138. The flu shot is about 10% effective this year, per my doctor. Rest, fluids, and flu meds to feel better.. but mostly rest!

  139. I had the flu, I went to work for a week and probably spread it around, and I slept a lot on the weekend. Plus pepperoni pizza.

  140. Sleep, sleep, hot tea, nyquil ™ and naps were what got my hubby and I through it. I recovered pretty quickly…or so I thought. Went out to get groceries and wound up in bed for a couple more days. He had it much worse and was down with it for a good three weeks. Don’t try to push yourself through it.

  141. My mom and I were both horribly sick for like three weeks around Christmas, I don’t know if I actually had the flu or it was just a cruddy cold, but it was the kind where you start feeling totally better and think it’s over so you go to work, and then halfway through work you feel like you are dying. Rest was the only thing that really helped. Rest and lots of cough drops and nebulizers (I have a nebulizer for medical reasons but it can also be used as basically a humidifier, which helps a lot with stuffiness).

    I’m not sure if this will show up correctly, but here is my cat, who insisted on sitting in my dog’s crate for a good 2+ hours one day.
    https://s18.postimg.org/u9xl1u2qx/101_5084.jpg

  143. Tons of fluids and tons of sleep. Not much the doctor can do for you at this point. I’m sure you know when you need to to go ER at this point with all your other stuff going on. Rest and hydrate. Use over the counter remedies for symptoms as needed. /nurse out

  144. Seriously, get some strong anti biopics from your doctor! Then, get plenty of vitamin C from plant based products, NOT fruit. This worked for me, last year. I had the flu, then a bad chest & throat infection. I got a prescription for a strong anti biotic from my doctor, and took it 3 times a day for 14 days. The vitamin c is most important. Don’t buy commercial brands of orange juice, they’re full of sugar. Eat oranges, kiwi fruit and verges that contain vitamin c. I hope u feel better soon

  149. This is what I did when I had a flu like disease the day after I returned from a trip to Ireland (talk about a buzz kill)-Bed, Tylenol, Bed, Tylenol, Couch, Tylenol, Couch, Bed, Tylenol. Rinse, Repeat. For 5 days. Then I got up and had a chest x-ray so I’d have a note for work.

  150. Oh god. I’m so sorry! That last line about always feeling terrible, so you can’t even tell IF you have the flu? Me. Also, I just started a new med, so maybe that’s why I feel like this, and ALSO, I CANNOT HAVE THAT THING STUCK UP MY NOSE AND INTO MY BRAIN (otherwise known as the flu swab). I can’t. Did you? Is there a new test? Ohh, I’m so sorry Jenny.

  151. Thank you for saying you had the flu shot and still got it AND STILL recommend people get vaccinated. I’m always astounded at how many people don’t understand how frequently the flu mutates — to keep the flu shot reasonable, doctors have to guess at which version’s going to be most common. If enough people get our shots, those versions can’t be the most common. So we’re getting

    Add to it anyone on immunosuppressants or with immune system problems doesn’t get 100% protection from the vaccine — that’s one reason why I get mine. I like knowing I’m cutting the risk for my motherinlaw, my friend’s new baby, and Jenny & others in BloggessVille who are immune-compromised.

    Forgot your shot this season? It’s still January — flu season is just getting under way in the northern hemisphere, so do it now and you’ll still get benefit by February/March! Think of it this way — if you get the shot today, you won’t have one of those 5 flu variations at Easter.

  152. Holy hand grenades, what happpened to the end of my first paragraph? Sigh. Here’s hoping I just used up all my typos for the day — I prefer to run out of them on coffee break instead of saving them back for emailing my boss later in the day.

  154. I currently have some form of that effing flu. I’m on week three. This is my life now. I’m to the point where I can function but barely. It’s up, get ready, go to work, work, come home, lay on the couch, go to bed. Repeat. Of course I missed four days of work in the beginning and have been taking a boatload of drugs after I went to the doctor on day 10. I thought I had pneumonia. I did not, thankfully, but I had bruised something in my chest from coughing so much.

    I am so over this flu.

  156. I’m so sorry. Take great care of yourself and I hope you feel better very soon.

    Have you heard of Henry the dog and Baloo the cat who go hiking together (with their humans too) and Baloo sits on Henry’s back or his head and they wear amazing, cute outfits and snuggle in sleeping bags against a backdrop of incredible mountain scenery?

    https://www.instagram.com/henrythecoloradodog/?hl=en

  157. It is so a thing to just be used to feeling like crap all the time and so you no longer have a proper measuring stick for realling crappy. I’m glad you went to the doctor. 🙂

  158. I concur with Maggie 24. That stuff really works at lessening the flu but you have to start it right away with the first symptoms.
    That baby elephant chasing birds was adorable! Made my morning.

  160. First and foremost because you have autoimmune, you have to take it as serious as if someone was holding a gun to your head. I know…..I have autoimmune too. Reason being is sepsis. If sepsis sets in, its super hard for people like you and I to fight. Speak to your Neurologist or whomever is managing your autoimmune and ask if you should be hospitalized to prevent sepsis, or if you should just watch for signs. Dismiss NOTHING…..everything is important at this point. Sepsis is what is killing people with the flu. There is a place here in Austin that is doing IVVitamins…and I think that is the name. They help keep you hydrated and give you vitamins, to help you fight whatever…including a hangover. But most importantly keep a VERY good eye on your symptoms. Please…. please….. please take the best care of yourself ever.

  162. Sounds like something I’d do – not go to the doctor. I learned the hard way when I found out I had double pneumonia a few years ago. Hope you’re feeling better soon.

  163. I had the cough your lungs up for 3 weeks and slightly hallucinate, then pass out in a dead sleep for 2-4 day’s. Feel well soon!!!!!

  166. Be careful with the Tamiflu. It can, in rare cases, cause psychosis as a side effect. We don’t need you having the flu AND going off the tracks at the same time.

  167. Just coming up from under the flu-fever, chills, hallucinations (some pretty keen, actually) but the worst part I always get is the vomiting and diarrhea. Simultaneously.Hubby was useless. I just laid in bed and rode it out. Had to be at work today after almost 2 weeks because of a federal audit. And what do I find? Sick people all over the office…..and I hear that having it once doesn’t mean you are immune. So, thanks, co-workers. The best thing anyone can do for another person is stay home if you are sick!

  169. I’m sorry, Jenny. I just got over it, so did my daughter. There is light at the end of the tunnel, I promise! Wish we could all bring you chicken soup.

  171. If I recall the flu shot can, in some case, lessen the length and severity of the flu even if it isn’t the right strain. That said: Ginger ale, gatorade, popsicles, club cracker, and also Chinese food are go tos for me. My dad used to get hot and sour soup when he was sick, so I started doing that, and now it’s just a thing I do when I’m sick. I also use this bubble bath, stuff that’s way too expensive and no one should ever buy because it’s stupid expensive but is the ultimate example of “treat yourself,” called Elemis Aching Muscle Soak.

  172. Oscillococcinum ( Little magical homeopathic dots that melt in your mouth and sort of kind of help make the badness go away faster ) plus the Tamiflu. And if you remember any of the fever dreams we want to hear all about them here when you recover . And also this guy who may be a ninja. Or a toddler in a fur suit. https://youtu.be/W1NR7oGzcEg

  173. BALLS! So sorry Jenny! 🙁 Take it from someone who has the immune system of a 95-year-old woman…the only thing that helps me when I’m horribly sick is watching old Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes or RiffTrax…laugh the pain away.

    BTW the greatest MST3000 episode of all time is “The Final Sacrifice”…it is a classic and is one of the funniest damn things I’ve ever seen in my life…. if the resolution is unwatchable below you can probably find the episode on either amazon or netflix. Enjoy!

  176. had a flu shot and got this awful flu anyway. tried tamiflu and promptly vomited 3 times in an hour. so, rest rest rest as much as possible and plan on about 10 days of just being…so sorry this hit you too.

  178. Will you take a dog picture?
    (Ok, I can’t figure put how to post the photo but it’s on my Facebook page:

  179. Re Victor’s work sitch… He needs to make his own complaint about the aggressive bullying he’s receiving for trying to protect his health because he heard people expressly starting that they would come to work sick with one of the worst flu’s in recent history. This shit is for the fucking birds and then turning it back on him is also bullshit.

  180. But think how many people who make you mad that you can now go up and lick…. so, it doesn’t have to be all bad, right?

  181. I didn’t get the bad flu, but I did have the flu (hit Christmas Eve 🤬). I just slept through it, crazy fever dreams and all. Lots of fluids and rest. If you feel like you’re relapsing after you start to get better, get back into the doctor ASAP! That’s whats getting people, this flu is easily turning into pneumonia and people aren’t getting into the doctor when that’s happening because they are just assuming it’s round 2 of the same flu. Take care and get better soon!

  183. I slept for four days straight with it. A week later I still sound like an escapee from a TB ward which I am told will go on for a month, probably. Yay. Up here in Massachusetts they are saying a lot of people are getting the flu and something (my husband got a bonus sinus infection, so that was fun; I seem to have escaped with the flu only), so even though the doctor can’t really do anything for you with the flu it might be worth finding out whether you also have something else that they can treat? Neither of us has ever been as sick as we were with this – fevers of 102, horrible chills and sweats, literally incapable of doing anything but sleeping.
    Lots of Tylenol and decongestants. Hope you feel better soon. 🙁

  184. Really, this is very serious. I had the flu about 21 years ago, the virus attacked my heart and I have permanent, life-shortening heart damage from it. It killed MILLIONS of people in the 19-teens (1914? 1917? – somewhere in there).

    Lots of fluids, soup, gaterade, or gaterade mixed with water. Plus sleep, sleep, sleep. You really need to drink A LOT. I kept setting the timer for 10 minutes every time I was awake and each time it sounded, I drank 12 – 16 oz of fluid.

    My mother, on the other hand, did not drink enough, had that bronchitis, then influenza A and ended up in the hospital in complete renal failure. Though she is out of the hospital, she is still very unwell and weak. She was sick for about three weeks before Christmas and is just recovering from the bronchitis. We aren’t sure that she will completely recover from the the kidney damage.

    We all had it over the holidays. My husband had the coughing bronchitis, but got over it fairly quickly. Then I started with that hacking coughing bronchitis and was happy it didn’t go into pneumonia. Off for more than a week and a half with that, I woke up on the Thursday before Christmas, and immediately said, “Whoa, THIS ISN’T GOOD!” = Influenza B.

    I finally realized that, although all the Christmas boxes were strewn around the living room, there wasn’t going to BE Christmas. So TLOML put all those unopened boxes back in storage, and I continued to sleep. On Christmas Eve, my youngest called and said she was too sick to drive herself to the urgent care. My husband drove an hour to get her and another hour to the doctor and then home. She spent the next several influenza sick days on our couch. Honestly, I wanted to scream, GET OFF MY COUCH I WANT TO BE THERE! (Sick mothers sometimes really don’t give a shit, no they don’t. She’s an adult, she’ll have to deal with it. But I didn’t actually say it.)

    I got well (enough) to have surgery on the 29th and about four days later my mother went into the hospital.

    It was pretty nuts, and it’s not quite over.

    I don’t have any cats, so no cat photos, sorry.

    Now, drink something, PLEASE!!!

  189. No cat pictures, but would a baboon do? More coming throughout the week. I’ve been on slow mode with the excuse that I’m avoiding the flu. Hope you are feeling much better soon. Do take care.

  191. I have no idea what flu you’re talking about and as a hypochondriac I can’t look it up or I will start thinking I caught it, but hoping you recover soon. 🙂

  193. Living with serious autoimmune shit too, hence my consistently late comments. Glad you got yourself into the dr’s and appreciate you sharing, since my weak immune system really can’t afford to be around people who don’t check and are out there. Feel better soon darlin’!

  194. David’s Tea organic cold 911 is very soothing. Eucalyptus, juniper, and mint help keep nose and sinus open and the tea is tasty enough to drink constantly,keeping you hydrated – cold or flu it was a big help this year.

  195. o Good-Hearted One (aka Jenny Lawson),
    Sending you loving thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery. I don’t have any cat videos,but I can tell you that my friend was recently in Cuba on vacation and a pretty little cat jumped into her lap and purred while she was having coffee at an outdoor cafe. Isn’t that a great image!
    Love healing love cats aardvarks more healing energy cute puppies and inquisitive kittens💐🐿

  196. had a bad flu few days back, nothing helps but time and good sleep.
    hope you get well soon

  197. Cat pictures definitely always help the flu. Have you already been introduced to Sylvester the Talking Cat? Here’s one of my favorites. He hit up some skank on Tinder and the date did not go well. I included the video in the website field…not sure how this process works I’m a blog virgin.

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