My doctor refused to give me lasers in my vagina. Click here for full story.
It occurred to me just now that I may have used poor phrasing in the description of this moment.
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I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:
I think your doctor is wise.
“NOT THAT MY VAGINA HAS “BEEN AROUND””
I probably would’ve been bummed out too if my doc said she/he wasn’t gonna install lasers in my vagina.
I REALLY want to know what Victor thinks of this idea. Lol
Pew pew!
Not all of us are on Twitter. If there is a “full story” there, I can’t see it. I know you love Twitter and I’m glad you do, but to me it’s like standing in a room with a thousand voices shouting at me and sorry, that makes me really, really uncomfortable. Kinda makes me want to hide under my desk except I don’t have one any more because I have my computer hooked up to my TV. Great ginormous screen but no place to hide.
(That’s so weird because you should be able to read it all even if you aren’t on twitter. Lots of my family aren’t on twitter – including Victor – but they can click the links and see the story. Did you click the link? ~ Jenny)
Great. Another beauty standard we cannot live up to. Awesome. .Women are already supposed to be 6ft tall, sport Double-Ds, and weigh twelve pounds. , and NOW I HAVE TO HAVE LASERS IN MY HOOTY-HOO? Screw that! Or…don’t?
I just love you! ❤️❤️
P.S. I have a Twitter account but for some reason it never shows me your threads/Tweets 😭😭💔💔
Jenny, if there is anyone we can trust with a laser charged vagina, it’s you.
Probably for the best. I really can’t keep up with a lasers-out-of-my-vagina kind of fad. I won’t even do lasiks.
If you get a bunch of people at once, we can play vagina laser tag.
LMFAO
You are truly a warrior for the vagenda. Laser powered vaginas will allow us to complete our overthrow of the patriarchy. Also, cool light shows in the summer.
Great graphics; they’re so very. I half expected Olivia Newton John to run across the screen.
“What about tasers instead of lasers? That would be a useful security feature.” Bwahahaha! I agree.
The weirdest things trigger the weirdest dreams, and I’m pretty sure this might make me have weird dreams tonight.
This has completely made my day. And possibly my year. And it could only get better if I actually had a laser in my lady garden. But it would have to have an off switch otherwise the heat from the laser would set my underwear on fire, and that would be less good.
I can’t help but think victor has enough on his plate without having to deal with a laser vagina.
Not that this fact should in any way dictate your vagina or lazer choices.
Your twitter followers are the best, lol.
Wowie! Phil Plait responded to your tweet. I adore him. I also adore you. And, I vote yes on vaginal lasers – you’ll never need to buy pepper spray.
Well, pussies do like chasing lasers, so I can see the conundrum. (Yes, I went there. You’re welcome.) 😉
I always name the things my doc lasers off, though. That way, we can keep track of who stays away and who likes to come back home.
Oh My Gravy… I love the internet. And people. And internet people.
Oh My Gravy… I love people. And the internet. And internet people.
What if they accidentally put a laser in the bump on your nose?
OMG I am DYING. It’s been a shitty night. But thank you for this.
Also..Laser Vagina sounds like an awesome name for a sci-fi futuristic punk rock girl band.
I guess I need a new doctor. Mine doesn’t offer to take anything off!
Wait. We’re not suppose to have vaginas on our nose?
Please don’t tell my husband this.
Wait. We’re not supposed to have vaginas on our nose?
Please don’t tell my husband this.
OMG! I so needed to read this today. Your laser vagina story has destroyed the dark cloud I’ve been under for the last week. Jenny you are a National Treasure and you should have a laser vagina if you want one. I’ll be glad to start a GoFundMe page for you
Honestly, what body part wouldn’t be made better with lasers
When am I going to learn to laser focus on your Twitter account???
I miss all the fun!
I love this tribe.
This post just made my day
CreatingTheRoad had a brilliant idea about the cool light shows during the summer! Although if you’re ruling out the winter light shows I feel that you may not be that committed to the idea. Anyhoo, if we can get a group of you fabulous women to have the lasers installed (is that the right word? Thos is all virgin territory for me.) Imagine what a kick ass 4th of July that would be!
CreatingTheRoad had a brilliant idea about the cool light shows during the summer! Although if you’re ruling out the winter light shows I feel that you may not be that committed to the idea. Anyhoo, if we can get a group of you fabulous women to have the lasers installed (is that the right word? Thos is all virgin territory for me.) Imagine what a kick ass 4th of July that would be!
That twitter thread was awesome. I’m sorry your doctor won’t let you have lasers in your vigina but let’s face it you would probably hurt yourself
I can’t believe I missed this entire thread! Made me laugh till I couldn’t breathe!
I’ve had lasers in my vaginia and it HURTS LIKE HELL. don’t do it.
This is waaaaaay to inappropriate for work…
I should probably wait till I’m home again…
Screw it! can’t wait!
clicks link
Hey, at least it’s not towels. (Nor a 6 foot tall metal chicken named Beyoncé, for that matter.) So Victor should be totally okay with this. Except he might want a laser installed, too. Couldn’t blame him, really.
Well if Dr. Evil can put lasers on sharks, I guess vaginas would be a natural progression, right? I know…I’m stretching here…
Husband is an IT guy and asked him if he could figure out why some ppl were having issues with seeing the Twitter dealio. He recommended dumping the internet browser’s cache and/or trying a different browser. He told me something else but I already forgot. I blame the early morning with only 1 cup of coffee.
FUCKING HILARIOUS!
I wake up every morning feeling crappy, and the first thing I do is look for a post from you. You’re a wonderful crazy person. (Am I allowed to say crazy? I mean it in the nicest possible way…)
That would be a helluva super power.
How about lazer vagina dentata? Lazer teeth! Maybe even just a lazer shark’s head down there… miniaturized, of course.
badparentingweb recently blew people’s mothertruckin’ minds with some post or another: https://badparentingweb.wordpress.com/2018/04/02/rick-morty-and-mandatory-love-a-long-lost-blog-post/
Are you refering to “Mona Lisa Touch” vaginal lazer surgery? I have never had cosmetic surgery, but I have had the Mona Lisa Touch series of lazer surgeries. It was the best thing I ever did for myself and to improve vaginal dryness to then improve sex life. I highly recommend it.
I have not had my vajayjay lazered but I have had my uterus microwaved and now I don’t have to have my periods anymore. Best thing ever when you are done having babies and don’t want to deal with the curse every month!
I think I just hurt myself trying to laugh quietly at work.
One word. Kegels.
Wow, if you get your own very personal laser you won’t need to buy any more matches to burn things. WIN!!
You made my morning! Who knew vagina lasers could improve mental health?!
It’s probably weird but what I took away from this is that I think you definitely should keep the thing on your nose! I have one just like it and so does President Obama so together we’re kind of a really strange but cool little club. Don’t leave us!
I know this has already been alluded to already but I have to say it. Doesn’t your doctor know that you just had one simple request for a vajj with frickin’ laser beams? Although I do hear the co-pay is quite steep. One meeeeellllion dollars.
Oh my…so many things: like, for instance, would this increase or decrease one’s chances of getting laid? I mean, the geeks would LOVE it, but they might be too attached to their penises to take the risk. ALSO – disco without panties. ALSO – oooowwwwwww, and I can never uncross my legs EVER.
I’m totally going to steal the name Laser Vagina when I put together a Jem and the Holograms cover band.
Not related, but did you see this?! I love that they recommended “Furiously Happy”!!
https://www.facebook.com/BookishHQ/posts/1837816209570151
Remember Laser Tag? Really changes the rules if you use your vagina.
“Like a controlled vagina fire.” So.much.win! This will supplant the old, tired, dumpster fire expression (or, at least, it should).
Also, anyone else hearing “Laser Vagina” to the tune of “Lady Madonna?” No? Just me?
You’d have your own little built in nightlight for those times when you wake up in the middle of the night and have to pee.
Honestly, I’d call that gross negligence, because imagine what shenanigans you could get up to with a laser vag.
Knowing my luck and living in a high desert, that’d be one hell of a way to start a wildfire come summer.
I’ve had the dildocam up there but never any lasers.
Someday someone will have a typo looking for laser tag and find this instead.
I wish I could be a fly on the wall for that.
I’m dying 😄😆😂🤣
So, this may answer a small question that has been nagging us for some time now. In the whole “sharks with frickin lasers” thing, where exactly was the laser to be mounted? (Assuming sharks have vaginas, of course, and if you think I’m going to Google that and find out…)
And honestly, this whole thing has gone off the rails already, so I’ll just throw this out here: There is a stripper out there whose act consists of swinging from a trapeze with a laser in her butt. Make of it what you will.
when I read that, the first thing that came to mind was hair removal.. maybe I’m just boring….
I now feel I need vagina lasers. And am super sad that I don’t have them. #thanksBloggess #ruinedmyday
good
This post just made my day! ❤️❤️❤️
I love you.