UPDATED: I’m a star and I didn’t even have to leave my house.

in Random Crap

My mom just called me and was like, “I JUST SAW YOU ON TV!” and I considered that she’d lost her mind or accidentally called me instead of my sister but she insisted that she’d just seen me on a commercial on the National Geographic channel and then she was like, “Well, heard you, I guess.  I didn’t see you.  But I saw your dead mouse friend” and then I was pretty sure that she just missed me and was hallucinating but she was totally right because I WAS JUST ON TV.

Well, my voice was.  And my taxidermied mouse.

It’s a weird day.

UPDATED: So last night my commercial was on during Dancing With the Stars and The Voice so technically that means that I was on The Voice and Dancing With the Stars and since I wasn’t cut from either one I think that means I won.  WHAT A WEEK.

Also, I’ve had a lot people mention that they couldn’t tell what the book was.  It was my first book, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened.  Specifically it was the chapter about becoming goth and getting my arm stuck in a cow’s vagina in high school.  The full quote from the commercial:

…pretty much everyone hates high school. It’s a measure of your humanity, I suspect. If you enjoyed high school, you were probably a psychopath or a cheerleader. Or possibly both. Those things aren’t mutually exclusive, you know. I’ve tried to block out the memory of my high school years, but no matter how hard you try, it’s always with you, like an unwanted hitchhiker. Or herpes. I assume…

Now if you’ll excuse me, the cat just vomited and I have to clean it up.  Ah, the glamorous life of fame.

193 thoughts on “UPDATED: I’m a star and I didn’t even have to leave my house.”

Read comments below or add one.

  3.         What an awesome commercial to be on.

    (Right? I’ve lived that moment with Hailey so many times. Made me sniffly. ~ Jenny)

  11. That’s a wonderful use of your voice/book! Congrats! It’s funny that your mom would call it “your dead mouse friend.”

  13. WOW!!! you are a commercial! that is so cool. Now you can tell Victor he has to “listen for a change”. because if its on t.v., its real, right?

  20.         So.....do you get any $$$ for this?

    (No. But I guess it might make people more likely to buy Let’s Pretend This Never Happened if they haven’t already? ~ Jenny)

  21.         Holy (self censor), that is so awesome!  Way to go!  I don't know why in my mind they'd say 'hey, we're going to put you in a commercial, ok?' because I know they don't have to do that, but I'm so glad your mom saw it so we'd all know!

    (Weird, right? It was just uploaded on youtube yesterday so maybe it’s new and they hadn’t gotten around to sharing it with me. It was cool though to hear it from my mom first. 🙂 ~ Jenny)

  25. That’s so awesome – and I love how they worked your story in to a real life (implied) situation!

  30. I always recommend your audible books to anyone taking a long road trip. Not surprised at all at your fame.

  31.         So what are you buying to celebrate?  Victor shouldn't say "no" to anything that you want to buy in honor of this achievement!  Right?!

    (He’s out of town this week for work. But I’m taking Hailey out for omelets. ~ Jenny)

  32. My sister does voice-over work. Sometimes I’ll hear her in a commercial on TV or radio (and right now her voice is ALL over the place in political ads) and it’s always a little unsettling because it’s so out of context for me.

  35. Oh, Jenny, this is just further proof that you are super amazing. Amazing and you have a taxidermied mouse. Now I internet know a tv star.

  38.         Huh. Somehow I heard you in my head as having a deeper voice. Interesting.


    (Me too. My inner voice is all raspy like a seductive pirate. ~ Jenny)

  39. F’ing awesome! I think they chose one of my favorite lines in the book. (but then I have a LOT of favorite lines in that book.)

  40. I hope this gets you more fans and book sales. I definitely needed that advice in high school!

  41.         I just picked up my daughter from school early because she could not take the bullies and stupidity any more. This could not have come at a better time.

    I just texted her the link. She watched it and just texted me back:
    THANK U MOM JENNY IS THE BEST
    Thank you, Jenny. <3

    (I did the same with Hailey yesterday. Sending love. ~ Jenny)

  42.         My daughter has just finished this book and loved it! (Yay!) Her 9th grade teacher saw her reading it during class time (they were supposed to be reading - you weren’t being disruptive-by-proxy) and had a big discussion with my kid about the book. Now her teacher is considering putting your book on the class “recommended reads list” for the year (they have to read half of the books on the list over the course of the year).

    (I love this! ~ Jenny)

  43. Jenny, that is a really big deal! Wow! How wonderful! Especially since the commercial was pretty meaningful too. Great job

  44. I saw this last night! I was like, “I know that voice. I know those words. Wait, that’s Jenny Lawson!” 😄

  50. Hi Jenny, you are the voice of an entire generation and that excerpt is totes the truth….PREACH!!!!

  51. Very cool!! My daughter has read both of your books and we both have a coloring book.

    Just a random aside, if you have a moment look up: https://www.boredpanda.com/dead-raccoon-memorial-shrine-mourning-deadraccoonto-toronto/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

    It is sad in a way, but also sweet and funny that people did this. I am not sure if it is a good thing, but it totally made me think of you and I had to share.

    Love everything you do. You are awesome!

  57. Mostly I don’t do Audible because it makes me fall asleep but I think you would keep me awake with laughing so maybe I’ll have to try it. See, you made a new convert. And without even trying. You’re magic, Jenny, don’t let anybody tell you different.

  60. OH. MY. GOD!! That was awesome!!! and so perfectly timed. (made me happy because I wanted just now to throat punch a client who thought i was my boss’ mother – she’s only 10 years younger than me – but I’m SOOOO over that right now. and the SOB didn’t get a throat punch because I smiled at your dead mouse and voice!! then I thought of Beyonce and well…that kind of says it all)

  65. Whoever said you save lives, was taking about me. You have single handedly saved my life countless times. Your audiobooks comfort me at my lowest moments, and for that I am eternally grateful.

  66. I feel weirdly proud. I think it’s because I think of you as a friend I just haven’t met in person yet. This is so awesome. Love you and love Audible.

  70. YOU my sweet friend are a rock star and did you see what I just did there with the ROCK and your commercial was on national geographic……or maybe my pun was more geared to National Geography…….aren’t they the same though? Anyway, CONGRATS!!!!! Love you to the moon and back.

  72. Now I am thinking I want your audiobook too cause me reading it in my head isn’t your voice!!!!

  73. I’m so happy for you!! Now more people will know who you are and how special you are and how special you are in this world.

  75. Wow! That’s great. Did you get paid? I’m not usually a penny-pincher much but you really should be paid for that. Amazon sent me an email asking me to answer a guy’s question on a product I had rated and I did it but then they asked if I would do more and I said “Only if you pay me” because Amazon is a big-assed company and I’m sure answering questions should be an employee’s job, right? And National Geographic….pretty big too, and they should pay you. Unless you are filthy rich by now and getting paid for stuff like this is considered charity and is tax deductible. 😊

  78. This is totally above and beyond that moment in “The Jerk” where he discovers he’s in the phone book. I’m SOMEBODY NOW!!! Because let’s face it.. You’ve ALWAYS been somebody. <3 That is totally awesome though. <3

  86. Does anyone else find it weird to hear their own voice? I sound like a nasal teenaged boy going through puberty … or something similar. I don’t think I’d like to hear myself on tv or the radio.

  88. Just wanted to note; your voice is not ‘like’ a seductive pirate, you are a seductive pirate.

  89. I just saw that and was immediately like, this sounds familiar… 🙂 That’s so amazing!

  90. Wondering how much my high school hell would have been different had I heard your voice. You’re changing the world, my dear.

  92. I was at a women’s retreat this past weekend. I was meditating and coloring a page from “You Are Here”. Within minutes 10 women wanted to choose a page and borrow my colored pencils. I let them take any page that spoke to them (except the one with the cats) and only got a little weird about insisting the pencils got back into the box.

  93. Your books changed my life a little, Jenny. I think every little girl out there needs to read them! What a great message that commercial sends – you better be proud as hell right now!! high five

  96. sometimes I think that we are those tiny dust-speck people in “Horton Hears a Who”. Jenny, you get to be Horton…you can hear us, and you are letting the rest of the world know that we exist. With gratitude & love.

  98. I am listening to the book while on the treadmill at the gym- listening to something entertaining is the only way I can get through my boring workout- and this story is what I heard today. I saw this post when I got home and was so amazed at the serendipity.
    And, I love your voice. It is warm and homey, the voice of a friend, which you are, even though we have never met.

  100. Totally true! You are inspiring and compelling – and I like that the girl didn’t wimp out and get all mushy. She was a REAL teenager!

  101. Too funny I just saw that commercial with my roommate and I said oh my goodness that’s Jenny congratulations on your new found Fame.

  102. Excellent reminder to recommend your books to my teenaged clients. I didn’t see teens for a long time, and am now suddenly awash in them, so to speak. Needing all the help for them I can get.

  104.         How amazing is that? 😁😊 Do neat moments like that ever get old? Just goes to show one never knows their true impact and reach on the world.

    (Never. ~ Jenny)

  105. I kept thinking I know that mouse, I know that mouse. It put a smile on my face, and I giggled ! I live in Sonora Texas, my small town was floodedit out this week. thanks for brightening my day, on audible

  107. The lady wall hawks brought great support to our community after the flood. Much appreciation!

  109. As someone who introduced your work to my daughter when she was entering high school, let me say inspiring, compelling, funny as shit (not that I listen to shit a lot), and imminently quotable. And therapeutic. (Full disclosure: I HAD to “introduce you “ because I was laughing so hard I was crying for about 6 straight days & 2 books back-to-back. Mommy’s not allowed to have that much fun without sharing.)

  111. Truly awesome and inspiring. On a separate yet related note, you should DEFINITELY be paid for that. I’ve worked in voiceover and when your recoriding is used for a different purpose you should be compensated. You absolutely deserve it.

  114. I SAW THAT!!! I was watching tv with my mom and not paying attention to the commercials and then I HEARD YOUR VOICE and I’m currently in the middle of the 18th listen of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened so I recognized it right away and totally freaked out!! It was so weird and cool and wow! From this post it seems like you had no idea this was happening? lol

  115. I heard that just tonight! I wasn’t looking so I didn’t realize it was you, but did hear “cheerleader or pyschopath…those two aren’t mutually exclusive, you know…” and that caught my attention! You do have a way with words.

  117. Pingback: Jenny Lawson – Audible – “Listen For A Change Mom & Daughter” | Madame Wong

  125. What a fun (unexpected) surprise! I’m glad there are people like you in the world, Jenny… brightens things up a bit, ya know? 🙂

  138.         How cool! Do they have to pay you residuals? Because they totally should, using your book and your voice for promoting their service.

    (No, but I’m not complaining. 🙂 ~Jenny)

  140. I saw it last night and was so excited. “Jenny! I know her!” Well, I mean I don’t actually know you, but I feel like I do. I mean, we all feel like we do! Yay, Jenny!

  145. I listened to both books on Audible. Truthfully, it just gives a great feel to hear your voice with it. And pretty much, the excepts/bloopers at the end are worth the price of the entire book.

  148. My daughter sounds a lot like me, and I love her voice, so does that mean I like my own? I always thought I sounded kind of weird. You, however, sound wonderful, especially on television.

  150. It’s been a rough two weeks for eldest. It’s been hospital visits twice for trauma stuff. Maybe this is a good idea to pick up the audio book. Happy fame. ❤️ Don’t forget us when you’re on something fancy like This is Us. Or Hoarders!

  152. Every time life gets hard I think back to that book. Life is shitty but I didn’t get my arm stuck in a cow vagina. Life sometimes sends ass holes to test you and sometimes they’re turkeys named jakens. But no matter what live for those days with raccoons in jammies and go see porturdo (different book but still applies)

  153. What an awesome commercial / setting to be on! Reassurance that yes, everyone has a terrible time in high school which makes you – NORMAL!!!! BTW, I got your book on Audible last week to share with my son, who loved listening to me snort, giggle and guffaw my way through it when I read it the first time.

  155. I’m having a dark week. Had a complete nervous breakdown at WALMART because my meds were not ready. Yes, the whole sobbing, shaking, hyperventilating. And had to leave my basket of groceries to be put back by the unfortunate clerk who was trying to understand my explanation of agoraphobia while crying hysterically. So, I may be famous when my picture appears in one of the “People of Walmart” snarky posts. But your commercial made me smile because I can so relate. Thank you for being.

  156. I saw that commercial, and thought that that was you, but wasn’t sure u til I saw,it online. So I went and watched it again. Very cool. I knew you when, huh?

  157. 😂😂 I’d forgotten about the cow’s vagina and I just snort-laughed and may have aspirated a Dorito but it was totally worth it! Also, my coworkers are eyeing me warily but they’re just jealous that they don’t get updates about teenagers fisting cows.

  159. Re your update: I recognized exactly what part it was from, and excitedly started telling my mom…. And then it got very awkward. I guess some people are fine with talking to their parents about sexual topics, but just saying “cow’s vagina” to my mom made me feel so weird!

  160. Yah! I watched it and lost my dang mind! For a good few seconds I believed the Mom/daughter WERE you and Hailey, but how weird would it be if you played her your own book when she’d had a bad day…

  162. I was so excited and surprised when I saw/heard this ad!!! OMG! I love how the Momma thinks it’s appropriate to play you for her 12 year old! yaaay!

  163. For a moment, I thought that actress was you. I’m just saying, an actress borrowed your face. You doing ok?? Very cool ad!

  165. So cool! I loved your book and now I want to listen to it since it would be fun to also hear your voice telling the stories. So exciting, and damn obviously relatable if they’re running it on an ad in prime time TV!

  167. I saw the commercial last night and I may have SQUEEEEEED!!!! The dogs didn’t understand why I was squeeing, though, so I had to show them the book.

  169. “The most inspiring minds, the most compelling stories” What’s if feel like to be the most inspiring and compelling Jenny? I have this vision of you laying on the kitchen floor saying “The most inspiring minds, Victor, what does that say about humanity?” and Victor telling you to move because he can’t get the fridge open.

  177. I have that audible book and there should be a warning on it to not listen while driving. It is SO funny you will laugh so hard you cry and won’t be able to see properly

  178. So cool! (proving the theory that the opposite of cool in high school is super cool in real life). Start compiling your must-have list for your star trailer on set and practicing your diva hissy fits…

  179. This is my favorite chapter in the book. The first time I read it, I was sitting in the breakroom at work. I got laughing so hard, I was crying. Because I was still fairly new at the job, the other people in the breakroom couldn’t tell that I was laughing, and they thought something was terribly wrong. Then I tried to explain, once I could breathe, about the whole arm stuck in a cow thing, and I think that’s the moment they all decided I was nice but clearly crazy.

  180. This made me cry a little. They GET you. They get you so hard they put you on a commercial!! This is why you are on this planet, to show people that they are not alone. You save people and you are amazing.

  181. I just saw it, too!!! And made my husband rewind it TWICE so I could see it again. And again. You rock.

  182. That is my favorite all-time book. This is what you need if you are stuck on a desert island. Thanks for the joy!!!

  184. I totally fan girled and screamed “It’s Jenny!”’ It so fit for that – It Was Perfect ❤️!

  185. My fifteen year old daughter and I just saw this commercial; she said, “I could not say that better.”

    I believe this helped her see that she is not alone in the high school experience. Well done.

  187. This book has changed me and how I view myself in so many ways. It’s perfect and inspiring. I’m so happy this is how you became famous.

  189. This is so cool!! Here I am, listening to audiobooks pretty much all day, every day, and I have never even seen an audible commercial.
    Also, you’re so right about highschool (hashtag not a psychopath) >>

  190. “The most inspiring minds and compelling stories…” Hell of an endorsement Jenny Lawson

  191. I joined the army and came upon some tough times. Your books help me stay as okay as I’m going to be and they helped my friend here who also utilizes many of the same coping mechanisms you do. THANK YOU

  192. Pingback: Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think? – Knock, Knock, Knocking on Forty's Door

  193. Before I start downloading a certain audiobook. I made sure, I read the book review regarding this one. So happen I search for an answer with Google, it lands me to The Bloggess book review about “I’m a Star”, the review is excellent. It captivates the mind of every viewer.

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