Don’t be a hater, dear.

in Random Crap

I’m a big fan of Halloween so this year I’ve decided to dress up as one of my favorite characters ever.

Victor and Hailey had just watched the show the character was from so it was fresh in their minds when I put everything together and walked out to surprise them:

me: “Are you terrified? You should be. At any rate, I’m not going to kill you. Well, maybe after dessert. I put a lot of effort into the key lime pie.”

Victor: Huh.

me:  Pretty good impersonation, right?

Hailey:  I don’t get it.  Who are you supposed to be?

me:  Really?  Hang on. “I used to be an outcast, a freak. I go proudly to the flame. Go ahead, BURN ME.”

Hailey: ?

me:  REALLY?  Your daughter doesn’t know who I am.

Victor:  Well she isn’t very familiar with Ronald McDonald.

me:  I’M NOT RONALD MCDONALD.  Seriously, you guys?

Hailey: Give me another hint.

me: “Don’t be a hater, dear.”

Hailey:  I give up.  Who is mom supposed to be?

Victor:  She’s Wendy’s.

me: wtf

Hailey:  Oh.  Well you should be wearing blue and carrying a frosty.

me:  I hate you both.

Victor:  We’re just kidding.  We know you’re…Ron Weasley’s grandma?

Hailey:  Oh my God, totally.  You nailed it, mom.

PS.  For those of you who do not watch American Horror Story, I’m Myrtle Snow.  Well, Myrtle Snow on a fifty dollar budget.

PPS.  They maybe have a point.  Have a frosty.

 

135 thoughts on “Don’t be a hater, dear.”

Read comments below or add one.

  6. That’s incredibly cute, even though I have NO idea who Myrtle Snow is because I quit watching AHS after the first season because it gave me nightmares.

  7. I think you rocked Merytl! Wendy also. Of course now i want a frosty and my roommate who worked for Wendy’s just lost his job so the frosty fairy Isn’t sticking my fridge anymore.

  8. I almost thought you photoshopped yourself as Wendy! The resemblance is uncanny 🙂 Both costumes are great 🙂

  9. The Myrtle wig needs more crimping, except don’t do that because it might start on fire and HELLO she was already burned at the stake once. Seriously, that’s awesome. And the Wendy is disturbingly good…I need to go get a frosty.

  12. for what it’s worth, i guessed Myrtl just from the picture. She is one of my favs too. ❤️

    i hope they were just fucking with you, bc that costume is PERFECT

  18.         I knew!!! I knew the moment I saw you. Of course, having seen her recently on AHS, four (?) seasons after she was originally on, helps. Isn't it great that they are linking this season with Coven and Murder House? Am I WAY to excited over a TV show? Well, who cares, if it makes me happy and it makes you happy then that's great!

    (It’s so good this season! ~ Jenny)

  31. Your Wendy is the best, just need the blue pigtail bows and the 5 freckles per cheek (face not butt, but your choice I guess).

  42. Hilarious! My husband and I dress up as Morticia and Gomez Addams every year. The neighborhood kids don’t ever know who we are. Lol.

  43. OMG I saw the pic and was like tell me she didn’t but you did. I love her she’s amazing she’s of my favorites. Plus this season is amazing. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Job well done. Now another AHS character

  44. I knew it! And AHS tends to freak me out to much to watch it. Although in this case the photo of you as Wendy is scaring me far more!

  46. It’s been a hot minute since I watched AHS, so I didn’t recognize the character at first. I think maybe because you’re quite a bit younger than Frances Conroy also. I was trying to think of younger characters. Once I saw the inspiration images, though, that’s really spot-on!

  47. I’ve never seen American Horror Story, but your costume is wonderful!
    The kids and I always do a family costume. I feel very lucky that the older ones are still willing to go along with it! They usually take their younger siblings trick-or-treating. Last year they were all from Steven Universe: Elephant (16) was Blue Diamond, Jack (15) was Lars, Butterfly (12) was Connie, Cheetah (9) was Steven, and Ladybug (4) was Amethyst. I was Steven’s mother, Rose Quartz.
    This year the kids agreed, after a bit of debate, on going as Star Wars characters (other contenders were Little Witch Academia or Marvel). Cheetah called dibs on Kylo Ren the second someone mentioned Star Wars, Elephant’s being Vice Admiral Holdo, Jack’s being Poe Dameron (and carrying around a Finn plush – the kids all “ship” Poe and Finn), Butterfly’s still deciding between Rey and Rose (hurry up, kid! I’ve got to start sewing in the next couple days if I want it done in time) and my favorite costume: Ladybug is being a porg! I’m old-school, so I’m going to be Leia.

  49. Do I get points for actually thinking immediately that you were Myrtle? Although, to be completely honest, I couldn’t think of her name. But I knew AHS and that character right away.

  50. My daughter and I are going to be two of the Fabulous Killjoys (Party Poison/her, Fun Ghoul/me).. so you’re in good company. No one who isn’t a fan of My Chemical Romance and/or Gerard Way’s comic series will have any idea who we are, LOL!

  53. OMG Jenny Forrest Gump voice you make an awesome looking “Wendy”. You nailed that one for sure! You also look great as Ron Weasley’s grandmother. I think you would make a fabulous Poison Ivy (circa Batman & Robin 1997).

  54. “She’s WENDY’s”???? SERIOUSLY, VICTOR????
    This is fantastic, Jenny! BALENCIAGAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

  55. Yellow dish washing gloves to mimic Myrtle’s yellow ones, and you’re ready for your close up. But the Wendy’s costume is pretty amazing too.

  59. OMG I was right! The moment I saw that picture I thought you were supposed be her! How could they not know this?

    Also, I love how AHS is bringing back earlier story lines and characters. This show is reminding me more and more of (the original) Dark Shadows by the way they use the same actors as different characters in different times and places.

  60. I once was Madame DeFarge from “A Tale Of Two Cities” – peasant-ish dress and cap, and I carried around some simple knitting on red-white-and-blue yarn. Every so often I would stand and stare at people significantly while knitting a couple rows.

    Everyone thought I was Betsy Ross instead.

  61. Wendy’s! Now I am craving a cheeseburger (to make up for the 20 minute wait for a few items in an empty fast food restaurant with Golden Arches that had flies everywhere, garbage on the tables, and dirty bathrooms with no automatic door openers for accessibility…)

  64. Jenny I knew it immediately when I saw it! You should have screamed, “ Balenciaga!” them. My daughter and I are huge fans of AHS too😊 You totally nailed it! Your daughter looks fantastic!

  65. Just spritz the wig with a little water and put in in smaller braids that start at the root. Let it dry overnight & unbraid. You can also get tiny sticking rhinestones at the craft store to put in the corners of your glasses.

  66. I came here to type, “BALENCIAGAAAAA!”, but several others beat me to the punch. Now all you need is a theremin…

  68. I knew immediately who you were!

    It might be the cut and color of the wig that threw them off.

  70. YES to “Me’s” suggestions (comment #65), but I’d also suggest trimming the hair so you’d get Myrtle’s bad chop cut.
    As for Wendy…I’m forever silently wondering why the logo design has m-o-m written beneath her chin before I realize I’m looking at her collar. Stick with Myrtle. You can never go wrong with Myrtle. Classy af.

  72. Yeeess!I knew it was Mrytle! Another AHS fan grooving on this season as well. Awesome costume! Well done.

  78. I TOTALLY knew you were Myrtle, which I STILL can’t spell without help. And now I want to re-watch that season of AHS, because I still have to watch all the recorded episodes of this season, but I’m being lazy.

  79. If you were trying to look like that picture, you’re spot on! And you make a cute Wendy. Me, I have to be a vertabrae in a spine. Not even the damn brain—just a piece of backbone.

  80. I do not share your zeal for horror, but the smile and the gingham blouse are adorable.
    Full-size Snickers for you young lady! And would you care for an extra candy to enjoy later?

  81. I guessed Myrtl from the picture right away! She is def one of my favorites also!! I think you did great!

  82. I knew who you were immediately. Hair needs a bit of a blunt trim, tho. (Then, Haley and Victor will know!)

  84. Myrtl’s great. But I’ve decided I want to be excessively, heart-stoppingly scary this year so I’m gonna do Halloween as an “intelligent, believable, liberal woman.” That oughta scare half the population anyway. (And I bet you can guess which half, :D)

  86. I knew it right away. I absolutely LOVE that show! And Myrtle Snow is one of my favorite characters. How could you not love someone who is so absolutely herself like Myrtle is? <3

  87. Haha I haven’t watched the show since it originally aired but I got who you were – it’s all in the attitude! Probably my favourite ever season. Though I spent most of Murder House watching through my fingers… (Props for sourcing a crimped red wig!)

  89. I wouldn’t have gotten it, sorry. However, kudos to you for being original and picking something obscure and also something from horror. You are a true Halloween fan, Jenny.

  90. I knew immediate who you were! I just watched Coven and am looking forward to catching the current season.

  91. Did you know that if you look carefully, the word “mom” is written in Wendy’s collar?

  99. I feel you. I dressed up as Susan Sto Helit ( Death’s granddaughter from Terry Pratchetts Discworld) last year. My hubs was the O God Of Hangovers. Before that I was the Doctor (version 10 1/2. ). I mean maybe I get not recognizing Susan ( my daughter did) but The Doctor??? Even if I did combine 10 and 11.

  100. I totally knew as soon as I read TV show. Maybe more frizz in the hair and they would have gotten it? Idk. I think you look great

  104. Hahahaha, this is too funny. I have the same problem. Nobody ever guesses Phyllis Diller or her twin, Dyllis Philler… I don’t understand why…

  106. I am so proud of myself that I knew it was Myrtle right away!!! Also, you look faaaaabulous!

  107. Yeah, totally thought you were channeling Grace Coddington before I read the conversation (also, had to google ‘fashion mag editor with crazy hair’ because I couldn’t remember her name) 🤣.

  109. I love your Blog! It makes me smile, cry, laugh and give me hope when life doesn’t seem so hopeful.
    I like both costumes, however being a total chicken about scary shows I haven’t seen American Horror.

  112. I dressed up as Coco Chanel one year, and not only did people not recognize me (because I evidently don’t have compatible friends), one of my friends didn’t know that Coco Chanel was a real person and not just a perfume.

  116. I’m going as Emotional Support Peacock Lady (from back in Jan). No one is going to get it, but I will love it!

  118. I totally got it awesome Costume! I have cancer so I don’t have any hair and I’m going as one of the coneheads!!
    The mom!!!(I yell!!!) my daughter: 🤦‍♀️

  119. Ps: I am a new fan I just read both your books! They where so funny but still very meaningful. Thank you for sharing your story!

  121. I feel your pain. I’m going as a character from an obscure webcomic that is also one of my favorite stories ever. I have fully given up on anyone but my family recognizing it, but I think it’ll still be cool.

  123. We just binge-watched “Coven” for the first time and I totally recognized your Myrtle!

  125. Brilliant!
    Okay, I really don’t know who Myrtle is, but I can relate to the “WTF, people!!!” part.
    Here was my epic, ‘best costume ever that no one got’ year: I dressed in all blue, tied a chicken around my neck that was hanging from a cord…
    Any takers? ;o)

  128. I just love you. We recently listed to your audio book, Furiously Happy! I was surprise how much I was able to relate to you. I am a breast caner survivor and during my post-cancer treatment I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I was embarrassed, but after listening to you, I realized, I’m not alone. Not in the sense you’re going to be by my side….but in the sense I’m not the only person and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Life happens…..So thank you for creating this wonder blog and books. A forever fan!!!!

  129. Totally got it…….Love Myrtle!….I am more a Misty for various batshitcrazy reasons!

  131. Nooo…I totally knew who you were before reading to the bottom. Chris and I LOVE American Horror Story and we love how they are taking all the previous years and putting them into this one. Though I don’t know how they’ll add the circus and asylum, or if they ever will. My only complaint is I have a severe phobia of snakes so I wish the intro didn’t have all the damn snakes!

  132. If I had $50 I’d totally go buy that outfit! It would make me so happy! You look amazing!!! Thanks for the smile. I needed it today. I’ve been in bed for two days. I’m out from work due to some random mystery disease they can’t diagnose, I randomly pass out without any warning. It’s real fun to be me right now. Thanks for letting me be part of your tribe.

  135. I know you did it for laughs,but I have to say that you look really pretty in the red wig!

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