This is rent for living with me.

Every time I go to the drug store I find clearance halloween pet costumes and Victor says that’s a sign that I’m taking too many drugs but really it’s more just a sign that I’m too lazy to go to the grocery store. Also, I don’t think the grocery store has pet costumes but they should because OMG YOU GUYS:

I bought this one for Dorothy Barker but she hated it so instead Hunter S. Thomcat got it. He didn’t love it but he was too lazy to take it off.

Dottie was also not a giant fan of this one either because she doesn’t like wigs so I tried to give it to Ferris Mewler.

He was not impressed.

In fact, he kept hovering over the stove like he wanted to catch himself on fire. So, not a winner.

And then, just as I was giving up on finding a halloween outfit that one of my furry children would actually wear, the perfect outfit appeared.

She loves it. Probably because I keep giving her treats for being adorable. And maybe because she gets to hold a knife. Hard to say.

PS. My daughter has inherited the terrible pun gene.

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Argh.

A post shared by Jenny Lawson (@thebloggess) on

Happy Howloween.

 

95 replies. read them below or add one

  1. 1
    Sosha R. Ruark

    Lovely!

  2. So cute! The pirate one is definitely my fave!

    The Story Girl recently posted Dewey’s 24 Hour Readathon: October 2018.

  3. Dorothy Barker looks so good in that costume.

    Gaz recently posted Old Bay Panko Crab Cakes.

  4. Dress any animal as a pirate and it’s adorbs.

    Janet Coburn recently posted Lies We Tell About Bullying.

  5. 5
    Tracey Taylor

    :’-D :’-D

  6. Aaarrrrrrr you going to make her wear that for all of her swish-buckling adventures?

    emilypageart recently posted Weekly Tattoo Wrap-Up #17.

  7. Perfect 🙂

  8. Ahhhhh! Dorothy Barker in that outfit!! Are you kidding me?! She should wear that every day forever! 😍😍

    My day has instantly been made. 👍

    romcomdojo recently posted Butter Off Dead.

  9. Your furry children are SO patient. Mine would kill me in my sleep. Especially if I armed them with a knife, even a costume one. Sleep with one eye open, Jenny. Can’t trust the scalawag.

  10. 10
    Another Jenny

    I do remember you considered naming a furry friend Knives.

  11. LOL scallywag … love it. 🙂

  12. 12
    A Nony Mouse

    OMG I’m not a big fan of animals in costumes but I LOVE these! Especially Dorothy Barker with the long Veronica Lake hair. Or whoever it’s supposed to be. And the pirate!!!!!!

  13. 13
    Amanda Haynes

    First of all I am impressed you even got a wig on a cat. Second.. I need all of these. Yesterday.

  14. 14
    Louise Fratto

    Okay the pirate costume is good, but OMG, the Belle Costume is GREAT!! It suits Dorothy Barker so well!!!

  15. This right here is life!

    aliaselle18 recently posted Travel Planning: New York City at Thanksgiving.

  16. I put my dog in pajamas for 2 minutes and her body language was “Omg anxiety is at a 15 or of 10 and get me out of here,” so I returned them.

    Chrissy Woj recently posted What to wear to jury duty.

  17. I am glad that the creatures finally submitted to your will. Because you only want what is best for them, and pet costumes are THE BEST. Although Ferris looks like he might kill you in your sleep.

  18. You made my day!

  19. Thank you for making me smile. I needed this right now more than you know. Thank you.

  20. Jenny, be careful the cats and the dog are plotting your demise as we speak. They are going to find someway to get a costume of a character your truly hate and while your asleep BAM, your going to wake up looking like Kim Kardashian! Be warned! P.s I love these, they look adorable. P.s.s Watch your back! lol

    thehuntress915 recently posted Charming Part III, This shit just got real…...

  21. Perfection 👍🏻😂

  22. … and I thought all the drug store was good for was to fill a prescription to feel better. Didn’t know the best medicine didn’t even come in a bottle with an outrageous co-pay!

  23. I keep wanting to buy the shark hat for the shelter cats, but I think their lives are hard enough living at the shelter, so more torture is inappropriate. BUT THEY WOULD LOOK SO CUTE!!!

  24. Your pets look adorable!

  25. I keep looking for costumes for Titus but he’s so big that it’s hard. I found a tutu at the Dollar Store but he said there was no way in hell he was going to hand out candy looking like a poodle. I’m going to have to just throw a sheet over him and tell everyone he’s a ghost.

    mydangblog recently posted My Week 213: Speaking My Mind, I Am Your Sunshine.

  26. I’m sure I had some very serious purpose for getting onmy IPad before I was shanghaied by Pirate Dorothy Barker. I sure hope what I got on to do wasn t very important.

    Carol Lennox recently posted Living In The Present Beats Living Anywhere Else.

  27. 27
    glochidiagirl

    Ferris is just pissed that Dottie looks better in the Belle outfit!

  28. It’s the long auburn curls that make it for me. Oh. My. Either fuzzer in those locks…awesome!!

  29. Dorothy Barker is feeling Stabby!

  30. We have multiple costumes. They can’t be the same thing every year, right?

    Andrea Gillies recently posted The stressiest stress test.

  31. Am I the only one that sees a furry penis on the pirate? Yes? Okay…..

  32. Love Dorothy barker with long hair and the pirate is cute too. Your fur babies are so patient with you! Love it!

  33. I’ve never had a dog that tolerated such things, but my mom’s new puppy doesn’t care if you put things on him, so mom has been having fun training him with a little doggy sombrero.
    I had a cat when I was little who would let me dress him in my Cabbage Patch Doll’s clothes… but no pet before or since would tolerate such indignities.

    Jeanie Tortoisefly recently posted Someday, when I'm a grown-up - an open letter to Wil Wheaton.

  34. Your daughter inherited your gift! Scally wag. Good one!

  35. 35
    Robert in Chicago

    “Terrible pun” is redundant.

  36. I bought three cat costumes for my kitty Rutherford but they were all way way to big because he’s a petite cat with a petite head. I was so sad but now I’ll just make him a costume. Also I was rereading Let’s Pretend This Never Happened and I got to the part with Stanley the squirrel and I had forgotten his name was originally pickle. Which totally explains why I named the squirrel puppet at work pickles and would fight anyone who tried to change the name. I won his name is pickles and I blame you :0)

  37. 37
    Elaine Thornton

    Oh! You made my day.

  38. Go Hailey! Nothing wrong with a pun 🙂

  39. It is a full moon tonight! Let’s have a Witch’s coven meeting!

    Wenona Lee Gardner recently posted Watch “GISH 2018 GISH TEAM Blessed Be!” on YouTube.

  40. Ferris, in drag, next to a book on posture. What’s not to love?

  41. SO… VERY… CUTE.
    We are getting a rescue dog next week and probably won’t have time to get him a Halloween costume, but my husband is already talking about a reindeer costume for Christmas… I’m sure your pets would be impressed 😀

  42. OMG that is so freaking adorable I just can’t STAAAAAAAAAAND it. 😀

  43. If I did this with my cats I’d be dead within an hour.

  44. Ha. This makes my whole day, which is a miracle, really. Thank you!

  45. Aarrrrgh! I can’t stop laughing at the screen capture of the video!

  46. Love them all, so precious. What’s the point of having pets if you can’t buy costumes to dress them up and take photos of their embarrassment to show everyone.

  47. This just made my day!

  48. Oh! I needed that. Thank you Jenny. And thank all your patient pets.

  49. I think I’m going to the wrong drugstore. No pet costumes. 🙁

  50. The Target dollar bin is great for costumes

  51. I’m sorry, but I’m going to need that pirate costume for my 3-legged dog, Peg. She’s like Dottie, light.

  52. 52
    Adam Hackett

    OMG. Thank you for sharing this. I was about to lose my mind in class with anxiety. This made me laugh, out loud. Seriously, people are staring.

  53. OK, I can’t believe you got out of that without a copay/cosplay pun….
    Dorothy wears everything well, even if she is “difficult to work with”. Cats on the other hand…yeah, well…what’s that grumbling…YEOW!!!!! You’re a braver soul than I. After a month on IV Ancef, I learned not to mess with cats.

    What DON’T drugstores sell?!

  54. It POSSIBLE that you have confused “liking it” to “this one isn’t as horrific as that other one.” I’m just saying. As an outside observer.
    Howsomever, it is a perfect kismet of being the most adorable AND the one she hates the least, so win-win.

  55. That’s a lot of lip licking — I’m worried Dottie’s thinking, “I’m gonna cut a bitch.” 😉

    Yay for the next generation of punsters. I totally wish I had more students like Hailey!

  56. That wig was made for Dottie!

  57. Deepest sympathy for the pun gene. My husband passed it to our sons. One road trip had three solid days of fish puns. One every half hour counts as solid, just long enough to think it might be over, then BAM! It’s a miracle nobody lost an eye.

  58. I love pets in costumes and I love puns. Win win win here today!

  59. Absolutely adorable! She’s definitely liking being a pirate.

    Wish I had a pirate emoji right now. Wouldn’t that be awesome? I’d use it a lot I think.

  60. When my life is too much…. and I think I can’t …. pics and stories like this bring me back ! Thank you Jenny

  61. 61
    ocularnervosa

    Arg arg arg arg arg

  62. You know that Dorothy is the cutest dog in the galaxy, right? I have had many cute dogs and other pets, but Dorothy tops all of them! I hope you are satisfied!

  63. If you are murdered in your sleep you will have no one to blame but yourself.

  64. As always, Rolly seems to be absent from this carnage of costumes. If I knew how to download that Insta vid of Dorothy, I’d be animating her going on a tour of a Hall of Taxidermy and swinging her cutlass. Maybe in search of a zombie Killer.
    But it would look awesome.

  65. Fancy dress for dogs and cats, and look what the cat dragged in! Yeah, even if the cat doesn’t know it, the cat can be drag queen material! But, oh, I love lovE loVE lOVE LOVE this, meaning that you should keep doing this!

  66. I mean, who doesn’t love being a pirate???

    Kat recently posted Adulting Is Hard Damnit!.

  67. This is everything.

  68. 68
    mariacarebear

    I have big dogs and you never find big dog costumes in stores! Big dogs like to dress up too! Well….big dog owners like to dress their dogs up too!

  69. Thank you!!!! Laughing is the best way to start the day; especially uncontrollable “tears running down my cheeks” laughing.
    Good Morning, Jenny.

  70. Your animals are so much nicer than mine. My cat would murder me if I tried to dress her. Then once I was dead I’m afraid she would use my lifeless body as a food source. Like I say, your animals seem far superior to my little wild one!

    theladygnome recently posted Murder.

  71. The tendency for puns is in the jeans. Genes? From pyro to pirate, keep on! (Had to make that up myself since puns don’t happen to me often and when they do I get punished…)

  72. Speaking of costumes – you NEED to see the twitter feed of Blue Heron Farm (https://twitter.com/BlueHeronFarmTX). It has puppies in costumes and goats! (I don’t have a twitter or else I would have alerted you to it that way)

  73. Brought a smile. Thank you. How do you keep going when the dark tunnel is so long?

  74. Cats just seem to generally have a crappy attitude towards cosplay. I think its an imagination thing.

  75. 75
    Heather Torrey

    Hunter is the bear-cat I needed today 😊

  76. Dorothy Barker is adorable no matter what but as a sassy pirate?! She wins all of the pet costume contests, paws down.

  77. 77
    Beth Dallinga

    For more Halloween fun, I suggest this video. Absolutely hilarious!

  78. 78
    Beth Dallinga

    Sorry forgot the video link – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oliCVn7Ic68
    Enjoy

  79. Crying tears of laughter. Thanks

  80. You and your daughter have the cutest laughs!! I love when you post videos of either of you laughing, it never fails to make me smile. And I really needed that today. Also, Hunter and Dottie look like they are semi-tolerating it, but Ferris looks like he is plotting to kill you in your sleep. Be careful.

    heather26r recently posted Updates… NaNo??.

  81. Dorothy Barker would be a good frosty.

  82. Doggy spider costumer is the best:

  83. Omg. When can I move in Jenny?

  84. Just showed my 9-year-old this video and his friend. We laughed our asses off. The sword! OMG…..I.CAN’T.HANDLE.IT!

  85. The costumes are so spoopy!(A word my friends and I use to mean “like spooky, but not.” Eg. “That sparkly spider headband is so spooky with your red wig!”

  86. My bearded dragon has a cowboy hat ,and a set of wings. They don’t go together.IF I had been able to be who I wanted to be for holloween,I would’ve been the mother of dragons,from GOT.

  87. Too perfect!

  88. It’s funny that she hates wigs but will wear the hat. 🙂

  89. Did you know that the CDC has guidelines for dressing up your pet chicken on Halloween??? How awesome is that?
    https://qz.com/1441982/the-cdc-guidelines-for-dressing-up-your-pet-chicken-on-halloween/

  90. I manage to find super cheap pet costumes all the time… and then i put my cat in them every day throughout October. Despite what people think, he does still love me. in all fairness it’s like 85% stockholm syndrome and 15% I have opposable thumbs and can open three food jar. But we make it work!

  91. I don’t know Jenny, it seems your co-workers are easier to work with than some of mine, just sayin’. And yes, a hellava lot cuter!

    thehuntress915 recently posted Charming, Part 5……..Just Because You have a College Education, doesn’t Mean Your Smart..

  92. I love Feris Mewler as Belle, but do agree he was trying to set the costume on fire lol I tried dressing my guinea pigs up as Santa and Rudolph for Christmas and they were also less than pleased.

  93. I’ve come back yet again to see Dorothy in this outfit. This is my (at least) 5th visit because it cheers me up so much! Thank you for taking the time to take pics for us!!!! <3

  94. 95
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