This is rent for living with me.

in Random Crap

Every time I go to the drug store I find clearance halloween pet costumes and Victor says that’s a sign that I’m taking too many drugs but really it’s more just a sign that I’m too lazy to go to the grocery store. Also, I don’t think the grocery store has pet costumes but they should because OMG YOU GUYS:

I bought this one for Dorothy Barker but she hated it so instead Hunter S. Thomcat got it. He didn’t love it but he was too lazy to take it off.
Dottie was also not a giant fan of this one either because she doesn’t like wigs so I tried to give it to Ferris Mewler.
He was not impressed.
In fact, he kept hovering over the stove like he wanted to catch himself on fire. So, not a winner.

And then, just as I was giving up on finding a halloween outfit that one of my furry children would actually wear, the perfect outfit appeared.

She loves it. Probably because I keep giving her treats for being adorable. And maybe because she gets to hold a knife. Hard to say.

PS. My daughter has inherited the terrible pun gene.

View this post on Instagram

Argh.

A post shared by Jenny Lawson (@thebloggess) on

Happy Howloween.

 

95 thoughts on “This is rent for living with me.”

Read comments below or add one.

  8. Ahhhhh! Dorothy Barker in that outfit!! Are you kidding me?! She should wear that every day forever! 😍😍

    My day has instantly been made. 👍

  9. Your furry children are SO patient. Mine would kill me in my sleep. Especially if I armed them with a knife, even a costume one. Sleep with one eye open, Jenny. Can’t trust the scalawag.

  12. OMG I’m not a big fan of animals in costumes but I LOVE these! Especially Dorothy Barker with the long Veronica Lake hair. Or whoever it’s supposed to be. And the pirate!!!!!!

  13. First of all I am impressed you even got a wig on a cat. Second.. I need all of these. Yesterday.

  14. Okay the pirate costume is good, but OMG, the Belle Costume is GREAT!! It suits Dorothy Barker so well!!!

  16. I put my dog in pajamas for 2 minutes and her body language was “Omg anxiety is at a 15 or of 10 and get me out of here,” so I returned them.

  17. I am glad that the creatures finally submitted to your will. Because you only want what is best for them, and pet costumes are THE BEST. Although Ferris looks like he might kill you in your sleep.

  19. Thank you for making me smile. I needed this right now more than you know. Thank you.

  20. Jenny, be careful the cats and the dog are plotting your demise as we speak. They are going to find someway to get a costume of a character your truly hate and while your asleep BAM, your going to wake up looking like Kim Kardashian! Be warned! P.s I love these, they look adorable. P.s.s Watch your back! lol

  22. … and I thought all the drug store was good for was to fill a prescription to feel better. Didn’t know the best medicine didn’t even come in a bottle with an outrageous co-pay!

  23. I keep wanting to buy the shark hat for the shelter cats, but I think their lives are hard enough living at the shelter, so more torture is inappropriate. BUT THEY WOULD LOOK SO CUTE!!!

  25. I keep looking for costumes for Titus but he’s so big that it’s hard. I found a tutu at the Dollar Store but he said there was no way in hell he was going to hand out candy looking like a poodle. I’m going to have to just throw a sheet over him and tell everyone he’s a ghost.

  26. I’m sure I had some very serious purpose for getting onmy IPad before I was shanghaied by Pirate Dorothy Barker. I sure hope what I got on to do wasn t very important.

  32. Love Dorothy barker with long hair and the pirate is cute too. Your fur babies are so patient with you! Love it!

  33. I’ve never had a dog that tolerated such things, but my mom’s new puppy doesn’t care if you put things on him, so mom has been having fun training him with a little doggy sombrero.
    I had a cat when I was little who would let me dress him in my Cabbage Patch Doll’s clothes… but no pet before or since would tolerate such indignities.

  36. I bought three cat costumes for my kitty Rutherford but they were all way way to big because he’s a petite cat with a petite head. I was so sad but now I’ll just make him a costume. Also I was rereading Let’s Pretend This Never Happened and I got to the part with Stanley the squirrel and I had forgotten his name was originally pickle. Which totally explains why I named the squirrel puppet at work pickles and would fight anyone who tried to change the name. I won his name is pickles and I blame you :0)

  41. SO… VERY… CUTE.
    We are getting a rescue dog next week and probably won’t have time to get him a Halloween costume, but my husband is already talking about a reindeer costume for Christmas… I’m sure your pets would be impressed 😀

  46. Love them all, so precious. What’s the point of having pets if you can’t buy costumes to dress them up and take photos of their embarrassment to show everyone.

  52. OMG. Thank you for sharing this. I was about to lose my mind in class with anxiety. This made me laugh, out loud. Seriously, people are staring.

  53. OK, I can’t believe you got out of that without a copay/cosplay pun….
    Dorothy wears everything well, even if she is “difficult to work with”. Cats on the other hand…yeah, well…what’s that grumbling…YEOW!!!!! You’re a braver soul than I. After a month on IV Ancef, I learned not to mess with cats.

    What DON’T drugstores sell?!

  54. It POSSIBLE that you have confused “liking it” to “this one isn’t as horrific as that other one.” I’m just saying. As an outside observer.
    Howsomever, it is a perfect kismet of being the most adorable AND the one she hates the least, so win-win.

  55. That’s a lot of lip licking — I’m worried Dottie’s thinking, “I’m gonna cut a bitch.” 😉

    Yay for the next generation of punsters. I totally wish I had more students like Hailey!

  57. Deepest sympathy for the pun gene. My husband passed it to our sons. One road trip had three solid days of fish puns. One every half hour counts as solid, just long enough to think it might be over, then BAM! It’s a miracle nobody lost an eye.

  59. Absolutely adorable! She’s definitely liking being a pirate.

    Wish I had a pirate emoji right now. Wouldn’t that be awesome? I’d use it a lot I think.

  60. When my life is too much…. and I think I can’t …. pics and stories like this bring me back ! Thank you Jenny

  62. You know that Dorothy is the cutest dog in the galaxy, right? I have had many cute dogs and other pets, but Dorothy tops all of them! I hope you are satisfied!

  63. If you are murdered in your sleep you will have no one to blame but yourself.

  64. As always, Rolly seems to be absent from this carnage of costumes. If I knew how to download that Insta vid of Dorothy, I’d be animating her going on a tour of a Hall of Taxidermy and swinging her cutlass. Maybe in search of a zombie Killer.
    But it would look awesome.

  65. Fancy dress for dogs and cats, and look what the cat dragged in! Yeah, even if the cat doesn’t know it, the cat can be drag queen material! But, oh, I love lovE loVE lOVE LOVE this, meaning that you should keep doing this!

  68. I have big dogs and you never find big dog costumes in stores! Big dogs like to dress up too! Well….big dog owners like to dress their dogs up too!

  69. Thank you!!!! Laughing is the best way to start the day; especially uncontrollable “tears running down my cheeks” laughing.
    Good Morning, Jenny.

  70. Your animals are so much nicer than mine. My cat would murder me if I tried to dress her. Then once I was dead I’m afraid she would use my lifeless body as a food source. Like I say, your animals seem far superior to my little wild one!

  71. The tendency for puns is in the jeans. Genes? From pyro to pirate, keep on! (Had to make that up myself since puns don’t happen to me often and when they do I get punished…)

  74. Cats just seem to generally have a crappy attitude towards cosplay. I think its an imagination thing.

  76. Dorothy Barker is adorable no matter what but as a sassy pirate?! She wins all of the pet costume contests, paws down.

  80. You and your daughter have the cutest laughs!! I love when you post videos of either of you laughing, it never fails to make me smile. And I really needed that today. Also, Hunter and Dottie look like they are semi-tolerating it, but Ferris looks like he is plotting to kill you in your sleep. Be careful.

  85. The costumes are so spoopy!(A word my friends and I use to mean “like spooky, but not.” Eg. “That sparkly spider headband is so spooky with your red wig!”

  86. My bearded dragon has a cowboy hat ,and a set of wings. They don’t go together.IF I had been able to be who I wanted to be for holloween,I would’ve been the mother of dragons,from GOT.

  90. I manage to find super cheap pet costumes all the time… and then i put my cat in them every day throughout October. Despite what people think, he does still love me. in all fairness it’s like 85% stockholm syndrome and 15% I have opposable thumbs and can open three food jar. But we make it work!

  91. Pingback: This is rent for living with me. - Buzz Banter

  93. I love Feris Mewler as Belle, but do agree he was trying to set the costume on fire lol I tried dressing my guinea pigs up as Santa and Rudolph for Christmas and they were also less than pleased.

  94. I’ve come back yet again to see Dorothy in this outfit. This is my (at least) 5th visit because it cheers me up so much! Thank you for taking the time to take pics for us!!!! <3

  95. My boyfriend broke up with me and we have been together for three years. My affection for him never died because he was my first boyfriend. While my friend Claudia knew about my feelings for my boyfriend she searched for a spell caster who could help me get my ex boyfriend back to me without my knowledge. I never knew but one day she introduced me to him and i got to know him and as time goes on i began to feel the rush of my boyfriend’s presence around me and within 3 days, my boyfriend got back together with me. My testimony about how i got my ex back have gone viral in my school and many of my friends have had a contact with this spell caster. I would post his email here for those looking for someone to help email is lordnoblespellcaster@hotmail.com or lordnoblespellcaster@gmail.com or you can call or whatspp him on this number + 1(817)755-0129

Leave a Reply

MY BOOKS:


shop

Subscribe to the bloggess, y'all.

Enter your email address and receive notifications of new posts by email. It\'s like I\'m stalking you, but more efficient.

Archives

ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:

I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:

Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.

Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.

The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”.  Often irreverent, always honest.

Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.

Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

Beautiful Writers book: Writers! This coming-of-career memoir (w/ the BEST advice from celeb authors, real shit you haven’t heard) is life. A page-turning beach read doubling as how-to. #Magic

The Dating Days of Marta O: When I told my sister I was building a blog she said: “Do people still read blogs?” I do not know, but if YOU want to read it, here it is. Keep in mind, my stories about dating after 40 are for the brave.

Where Do I Belong? A memoir of Sarah Carrington: The unbelievable story of growing up in a religious cult in the mountains of Northern British Columbia. What happens to you in life doesn’t make you strong; rising above it does.

CONNECTED: A Personal Journal for Ketamine Therapy Created by writer & patient Katherine Davis for this powerful clinical treatment. If considering ketamine for major depression, check out this essential tool.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: SO GOOD.

Discover more from The Bloggess

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading