I left my house today to fight for your rights and all I got was a sticker and the chance to change the world.

I just got back from voting and the line wasn’t bad at all and it was as smooth as usual.  They were running low on stickers because the voter turn-out is much higher than usual (go democracy!) so I printed my own.

(You can print your own here.)

And now as we all nervously watch the results let’s have some fun.  If your name + your last text message is your campaign slogan what would yours be?

Mine would be:


Fitting really.

462 replies. read them below or add one

  1. For a second there I was jealous that you had a cool sticker, and regretting doing an absentee ballot!

    Mamacita recently posted Please Don’t.

  2. Anonymous: Please feed the dogs.

    Fitting, I think. Dorothy Barker probably agrees. Also, THANK YOU for voting.

  3. PS: I had no idea that posting that Twitter link meant you would end up with a huge-ass picture of me in your comments. Feel free to delete. 😳


  5. Becci Marquez: Okie Dokie

  6. 7
    Kala Van Den Heuvel

    kala van den heuvel: got your christmas lists ready? lol

  7. Katie Lynn: She gets it. (I am thoroughly chuffed that this is actually true)

  8. Susan Richards: Are you KIDDING ME?

    (Even if you don’t vote for me, VOTE!)

  9. Dana: I’ve got the shivers

  10. Ellen Zachos: You’re welcome. Now goodnight.

  11. Very taken with your sticker, “I voted It’s like punch a Nazis but safely”! Nicely done yet again 🙂

  12. Nancy Lyons: Great! Thanks for letting me know.

  13. Mandy: I’m sorry your morning is no good!

    You’re going to get so many amazing responses 🙂

    aliaselle18 recently posted Halloween Planning: My 2018 Costume – Little Dead Riding Hood.

  14. Liz Parker: There’s a slight possibility it might be that Friday but I’m leaning towards Saturday.

    lol …

    Liz recently posted The Friday Five, 11/2/18: 5 things I've been up to this week.

  15. Lisa Rhudy: Playing The “Not My Circus Game” this morning. That’s not very inspiring, is it? I did vote, though, ’cause this is my circus. The shit-flinging monkeys are not mine, however.

  16. Daisy Bateman: What the hell, we’ll brave the kidpocalypse.

  17. Heather Mosko: I have a 4:15 hair cut appointment

  18. Michelle Barnes: I already voted. Can you please take me off this list?

    Sounds about right.

  19. “Every time I look at this I think of you.” And that’s why I have to vote! Can’t believe these last texts work so well!

  20. I read “last text message” as “last tweet” and since I’m not on Twitter that meant my campaign slogan would be “Laura Cunningham: SILENCE.”

  21. latenac: he left before you texted

    seems about right. I realized this morning the whole reason I don’t do early voting is so I can get a sticker.

  22. 23
    Jennifer Jones

    Jennifer Jones: Gotta keep karma on your side!

  23. Jill Solem:I bet nobody knew I was in my pjs.

  24. Shelley Tee: Yay! Me too!

  25. Tricia Miller: Next time I will be better prepared.

  26. Julie: Will you be here for supper Friday?

  27. Anon: just a bit… just the tip….

    Yay voting.

  28. Holly Rusak: Did you get more sleep?
    TBH, this is exactly the kind of campaign I would run. We should ALL get more sleep.

  29. Regan Avery: HaHA! (at least people will know I’m an evil dictator from the outset)

  30. Emilia Robin: “I’m gonna get you a trophy or something”

  31. Jessica Stratton: I have an itch

  32. “do you need the weights?”

  33. Alan Simpson: I miss the days of good wins.

    theycallmetater recently posted Welcome to Tater After Dark.

  34. 35
    Louise Fratto

    I will never understand those who don’t vote. I get a thrill every time I go to the polls; its why I don’t do absentee (unless I’m out of the country).

  35. Anne: I can’t ask people if our kids can sleep at their house. They have to be invited or it’s rude.

  36. Anonymous: WHEN THE F*** WILL THIS BE OVER?

  37. “I was just checking my spices the other day and thought I need to go buy a fresh jar of sage.”
    The campaign slogan for foodies. 🙂

    Kat recently posted Two Drink Minimum.

  38. Michelle: Thank you

  39. Anony Mouse: It’s not too bad today.

  40. 41
    Sara Jean Hazeltine Nesbitt

    Sara N – OBVIOUSLY

  41. Kim Taylor: Wow! Same eyes, same nose, same jaw, same chin.

  42. Jess Isaacks: I knew it would happen.

  43. I voted by mail a couple of weeks ago; hoping for positive changes. Wish voting early meant I didn’t have to submit to any more advertising peppered with lies!

  44. Josh Thomson: Quest… for Queso!

  45. Susan Carroll-Clark: Okey, sounds good.

  46. Candice Henderson: DOES THAT WORK FOR YOU?
    Read: “it had better because there’s no other option”.

  47. Jennifer Kent: No worries. I absolutely have something you can wear.


  48. I forgot to say thank you – to Jenny and everyone else who leaves the safety of their zone and gets out there to vote today! You’re heroes. This is right up there with running into burning houses in my opinion.

  49. Erin Snyder: My eyes kept glazing over.

  50. Kim Lesk: I saw. I think I might need this today.

    I feel like “I might need this today” is kind of my life slogan.

  51. Amanda Stidham – Why do you wait til the last minute big buddy? Isn’t that stressful?

  52. Caroline Reich: OK, great, thanks!

    Not sure what that means, but it could be worse. Yay for voting!

  53. Jennifer A: It was the gov logistics lead sitting here talking work to fred.

    p.s. I’m going to vote after my doc appt today.

  54. 55
    Cassandra Crane

    I voted and brought my oldest daughter.

    Cassandra Crane: There is no one who can watch my kid tomorrow I wont be there.

  55. 56
    Ruffian Spamson

    RUFFIN: I’m in the garden shop, where are you?

  56. Owen: Yeah, that made me laugh!

  57. Nora Glaser: sometimes I poop too much and then I get tired

  58. Sharon Barrett: That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard today.

  59. As part of my vow to become more involved locally I signed up for working the polls on Election Day. I head in to work this afternoon as an official Election Inspector, leaving early to allow extra time for my own vote casting before I work of course!
    Also, my campaign slogan would be
    Teresa Rothman: I’m making lasagna for dinner, do you guys want some?

  60. Art Smith: Already did!

  61. Aileen Sitero- kk, love you

  62. My sticker would read, “Today I participated in the illusion of democracy,” even though I’ve participated in the illusion for about 37 years. Yep, I’m ancient.

  63. Angela Massengale: Rent check get turned in?

    This is pretty much the story of my life…

  64. Michael LaRocca: The really good news is that I invented RoachCam this morning. #AmWriting #NaNoWriMo

  65. Jennifer: Holy Crap!!

  66. Lori Olson – Gotcha

  67. Nora Glaser: sometimes I poop too much then I get tired

  68. Campaign slogan: “You could do worse!”
    Oh … wait … you already did.

  69. You rock, per usual.

  70. Amelia Wherry – Jesus. You should ask her if you can help her with something.

  71. Scottee – “I’m jealous of your meme gifs!”

  72. Cory: WTF!?!?

  73. Jamie: Uh oh. Stupid fat fingers.

  74. Jen Lawson: I’ll really be putting this “make and freeze” thing to the test! (I can’t focus on any of my orders today (because, democracy), so I’m cooking ahead for Thanksgiving…been told by a chef/author I admire and respect that much of what we have for Turkey Day freezes beautifully. So I’m cooking my stress away.)

    Jen recently posted You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know.

  75. Oops sorry for the double post…still tired from my morning constitutional

  76. it’s fucking nasty out

  77. Kate George: No one will notice.

    Kate George recently posted Now for something completely different: The Orgasm Gap.

  78. Marnica: His wallet is in pretty good shape, I think.

  79. Darlynne: I hope you know how proud we are of you.

    Well, not exactly the battle cry I was going for, but at least I said something kind for a change. Thank you for the stickers. Is it ok to share them?

  80. Solstice: Do you need/want anything from Trader Joe’s?

    With a slogan like that, how could I possibly lose??

    Also, yay to all who voted. One of the least backwards things about Arizona is that we can vote by mail, so I voted in my pjs and celebrated immediately after with wine.

  81. 82
    Chanandler Bung

    Chanandler: No denying they’re sisters!

  82. Sandra Mc: Happy Diwali!

  83. Cindy Grove: And just for the record I was the one keeping it classy

  84. Dannielle Insalaco: “love you too”

  85. 86
    Shelley MacGregor

    Shelley MacGregor: Can I use your dryer?

  86. Joyce Pugh: I understand 😘

    Also, I completely love this and totally stole the idea!

  87. 88
    Selina Sinclair

    Selina: do YOU want to go see Neil Gaiman with me next week?

    solid slogan.

  88. Serena Gutnik: Silly mood.

  89. I’m Tracy. TIME’S UP!

  90. Ruth Johnson: the fan club is still accepting new members

  91. Amy Fry: Don’t Forget To Vote; See You Tomorrow

  92. Jon Ofjord: Wouldn’t that be cool!

  93. Bill Fenlon: Not Frank Underwood?

  94. tikaanidog: I’ve been stabbed, don’t like it. (had a blood draw this morning). go vote!! (voted by mail – love it:))

  95. Jodi Manning: Loves you

  96. 97
    Tracey Taylor

    Tracey: Well, let’s hope you get good news for your and his sake!

  97. Lisa Vickery: The girls are very excited!

  98. LOL! I would vote for all of you!
    Leigh Ann: You’re welcome! I was shocked! Shocked I say! To hear from you at this hour! 😉

  99. PJ Fincher And I did it. I deleted my Facebook

  100. 101
    Rebecca Brown

    Brown Good morning babe

  101. Alien: Even I wasn’t driving and could have had a drink, there was not enough alcohol in the pub to make it tolerable

  102. hey, hey, most excellent! I’ll be going off to vote when the bread is rising 🙂

  103. Sarah Schaefer: You’re so good at calendars. ❤️

  104. Emily Fowler: Thinking of You

  105. No one wants the mass of immigrants marching toward our country. But if you lived where they live, you’d march too.

    A wall is not the answer. If we continue to turn our backs on people who need us, inside and outside our borders, we will crumble as a society. Our wall may still stand, but we won’t.

    Please share.

    no one leaves home unless
    home is the mouth of a shark
    you only run for the border
    when you see the whole city running as well

    your neighbours running faster than you
    breath bloody in their throats
    the boy you went to school with
    who kissed you dizzy behind the old tin factory
    is holding a gun bigger than his body
    you only leave home
    when home won’t let you stay.

    no one leaves home unless home chases you
    fire under feet
    hot blood in your belly
    it’s not something you ever thought of doing
    until the blade burnt threats into
    your neck
    and even then you carried the anthem under
    your breath
    only tearing up your passport in an airport toilets
    sobbing as each mouthful of paper
    made it clear that you wouldn’t be going back.

    you have to understand,
    that no one puts their children in a boat
    unless the water is safer than the land
    no one burns their palms
    under trains
    beneath carriages
    no one spends days and nights in the stomach of a truck
    feeding on newspaper unless the miles travelled
    means something more than journey.
    no one crawls under fences
    no one wants to be beaten

    no one chooses refugee camps
    or strip searches where your
    body is left aching
    or prison,
    because prison is safer
    than a city of fire
    and one prison guard
    in the night
    is better than a truckload
    of men who look like your father
    no one could take it
    no one could stomach it
    no one skin would be tough enough

    go home blacks
    dirty immigrants
    asylum seekers
    sucking our country dry
    niggers with their hands out
    they smell strange
    messed up their country and now they want
    to mess ours up
    how do the words
    the dirty looks
    roll off your backs
    maybe because the blow is softer
    than a limb torn off

    or the words are more tender
    than fourteen men between
    your legs
    or the insults are easier
    to swallow
    than rubble
    than bone
    than your child body
    in pieces.
    i want to go home,
    but home is the mouth of a shark
    home is the barrel of the gun
    and no one would leave home
    unless home chased you to the shore
    unless home told you
    to quicken your legs
    leave your clothes behind
    crawl through the desert
    wade through the oceans
    be hunger
    forget pride
    your survival is more important

    no one leaves home until home is a sweaty voice in your ear
    run away from me now
    i dont know what i’ve become
    but i know that anywhere
    is safer than here.

    -Warsan Shire

  106. The Huntress 915: He cat punched the vacuum, those are some serious cat balls. True story.

    thehuntress915 recently posted Part 6…….A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Ball.

  107. Bower: Your ID is on the desk. That’s oddly specific…

  108. 109
    Michelle My Belle

    Michelle: Sweet!

  109. Garrick Strom: won 9ball as well

  110. Natalie Fairley: can you bring up the lozenges please

  111. Lori Parker: I’m so afraid she’s going to get hurt!

  112. 113
    Rebecca Rundle

    I voted in the hopes that one day I can go back to being proud to be a citizen of this country. l also would really like to feel the end of the constant turmoil in my chest that began with the 2016 election results and hasn’t stopped since. I have never been so informed and so completely horrified and dismayed.

  113. Lisa Hayes: Yep

  114. Miriam Noble; I’ll do what I can for now.
    Wow that sounds so underwhelming!

  115. Kim G.- I am NOT making flash cards! Figure it out!

  116. Lise Wertlieb: I have my ballot filled out, I have to drop it off!!

  117. Sarah Dickens: We made awkward eye contact. 🙄

  118. Heather Pollock: Good ideas! 😁

  119. “Pet sitter secured”

  120. Lauren DeHaan: Welp, gotta do the Civic duty thing

  121. Becker: NOOOOOOOOO

  122. I voted last week & the little sticker I got was so much lamer than these. I love your blog, your books, & your strangely honest musings. Or maybe honestly strange.

  123. Rebecca H: That is a well fed hawk.

  124. 125
    Karrie Comatas

    mine is either: Karrie Comatas: Yay! or :Shipped: your amazon package with BlueQ Control Your Family Breath Spray will be delivered Friday. Both are sorta me summed up pretty well.

  125. Can I call? My slogan sucks 🙁 But I voted absentee back on 10/22, so I need to print me a sticker 🙂

  126. “Amanda Katsaros: It’s nuts!” Hmmmmmmm

  127. Kathy Campbell: “Dinner?” (I’d vote for me! I like dinner!)

    My county in 100% mail in now-WITH free postage (finally) so I voted 2 weeks ago. But alas, no sticker.

  128. Amanda Buskill: We can just threaten to leave him at the vet…that should do it…

    The text before was better…

    Amanda Buskill: I can handle the chocolate & yarn, but I think we’ll need a prescription for the tranqs…

  129. Tracy Bauman: Talks in her sleep

  130. Liz Benditt: Of Course

  131. 132
    Alicia Madsen

    Alicia Madsen: Sounds like the 15/16 is our weekend!!

  132. I voted so I might actually be able to watch the news again without: Breaking Furniture, screaming at the top of my lungs and/or crying. Or all three. I’m so done with the shit show.

  133. Mimi: don’t cha think? (actually this goes hand in hand with voting, “Don’t you think?”)

  134. Kelly Laliberte: Geez, I’ll bet he counted them himself.

  135. Sharon F – Which one has all the attitude?

  136. Vote like your life and others depend on it. Yours and theirs do!

  137. 138
    Katherine Edmunds

    Katherine: Leaving now – need anything?

  138. 139
    Megan Johnson

    Megan Johnson: I’ve been listening to more Rizzle Sticks. Lot of drums. I like.
    At least it’s a positive message?

  139. We are biting our nails in Canada contemplating the collapse of your civilization too (Headline: Caravans coming north with frustrated Americans of all races, shapes, orientations, and religions. We welcome them with maple syrup and a sincere “I’m sorry.”). Kristine Laco: OMG I am so full.

    Kristine @ MumRevised recently posted Getting Inked–No Squids Were Harmed in the Making of This Video.

  140. Brenda L: So that’s how it’s done

  141. Becky R. If that’s the case, watch this short video to learn more

  142. OooOoo it works: Lille: Lemme Try To Cancel It All.

    Lille recently posted there are two dead dogs and writing is bullshit.

  143. Bonita Blackwell – I guess we are all blond now

  144. Gabrielle Bueche: are you feeling it now Mr krabs

  145. Heather: THEY LOOK SO EXCITED!
    We’re getting new tortoised, and to be fair, they did look excited.

  146. These are freaking hilarious! Congrats to all of you voting today. I’m Canadian, but believe me, lots of us up here are right there with you in spirit.

    Joni Serio: OK good. Just wanted to be sure.

  147. Amy : Mornings are difficult for me but I think I could figure out how to get in 10 minutes.

    Seriously it was about meditation not about getting in 10 minutes of dirty fun times before work. Though I wonder if the net end effect is the same …

  148. Christine Reyes:All done

  149. Bridgette Raynolds-Perry: It’ll be fine in 10 years

  150. Kelley O: I did not, will you show me?

  151. I voted absentee because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to get someone to go with me to vote and I’m a total freak about going unfamiliar places alone and was fearful that my full-fledged panic in strange places and around strange people would win over my fear of living in a fascist dictatorship.

  152. Stacy S: Gaa!! I need to get some. I feel old as hell. 😂 I had to start doing absentee voting because my body just can’t handle standing in line to vote and then standing at a booth to fill out the ballot. It takes me forever to fill the thing out. Handing a “fill in the dot” type ballot to someone with OCD is just mean. This time I got to vote from the comfort of my couch. So much better!!

  153. Crista H.: Is there anything special Neel would like? – I’m sure to get Neel’s vote!

    Crista H recently posted Pumpkin Spice Drop Cookies Recipe.

  154. Hahahaha- I honest-to-dog just texted my out of state daughter “Have you voted yet today?”

  155. Me: Well done!

  156. Anita Richter: I forgot to ask you if you voted

  157. Emily: Gall bladder removed 4 years ago

    Which is fake news. I still have my gall bladder. But my text was to my husband, talking about a mutual friend. See how easy it is to create — and fall for — that shit? Ugh.

    OwnLessDoMore recently posted Born to run? You’d have thought so, but no. It was harder than that..

  158. Michele Bane: Oh, Carrot Cake! Such a social butterfly!

  159. kmom: I’m here!

  160. Nancy Knapp: We are getting xrays.

  161. Austin – This is a really cool song.

  162. Lorraine: Where the hell are you? You’re supposed to be at church!

  163. 164
    Terry Mayfield

    Terry Mayfield zombie apocalypse ps fucking horse.

  164. Heather: Ok love
    We could definitely use more love! Thanks for the stickers. I’m in Seattle where we mail in our ballots. So I printed a bunch of your stickers for my coworkers 🙂

  165. Ellis: “Haha! Women Unite! Is he still pissy, or cooling off?”

  166. Sara Holmes: OK it’s kind of crazy that your campus is so big that it has 2 voting locations. Our whole town only has one!

  167. Sndmaven: Are you OK?
    not very proactive, but caring, Sounds about right

  168. Green: “On my way”


    It kinda works.


  169. Nicole L———-: I’d say do your shopping first.

    Apparently I’m pro-consumerism.

  170. Lori Rhyne: What time are you leaving?
    PS….easiest comment ever.

    Mrs. Completely recently posted A Viking Hissy Fit.

  171. Meghan: Hey fellas. Not going to arrive early today. Working on getting some damn resumes out there. See you later!

  172. 173
    Emily Degnan

    Emily Degnan: She knows that.

  173. LC: our brains suck

  174. Karen Way-too-long-surname-for-political-office: Maybe he has something he smokes, to go on a spirit journey, to find his soulmate?

    Yeah. Well.

  175. Jen somebody: Good deal!

  176. Pride – Planet Fitness…..I think that is an awesome slogan!

  177. 178
    Kelly Conrad

    Kelly Conrad: Hahaha if only

  178. Linda Adair: Trying.

  179. Alena Wagner: I won’t skate but I’ll take embarrassing photos.

  180. Saylor – Even just and “OK” would have sufficed.

  181. Rose Prescott, I am horrified by my government.
    Yep. that works.

  182. We have the boys’ football.

  183. Sarah Terrell: Perfect!!

  184. I always vote because it’s compulsory to attend a polling station and register in Australia with each election.

    Gaz recently posted Pressure Cooker Chicken and Raw Vegetables.

  185. Nutty: I’ll plug it in.

    Spoken Like A True Nut recently posted A mountain getaway, more broken things and small abominations..

  186. Chase: My Whoopie Pie was Delicious!


  187. Katharine – I am so anxious today!!
    If I were a politician, this would definitely be very true every day.

  188. Sean Paus: I HAVE IT. AND THE STRAPS.

  189. I voted early, and all I got was a shitty little tiny sticker. I’m going to print one of yours when I get home from work😙

  190. Rachel Watkins: Yeah, I just can’t. It’s all too stressful and too much speculation. I’d rather wait to see the results.

  191. sarah: We’re working on it, but it’s nuts in here.
    (i work in an elections office, for reals)

  192. Sean Paus: I HAVE IT. AND THE STRAPS.

  193. I went about 30 minutes after they opened so they still had stickers. I was proud to get handed one. Two years ago they handed me three stickers because voter turn out was so low but there was a line today. Go civic duty!

    Wolf of Words recently posted In the Shanti Desert Pt. 3.

  194. Sorry! I posted twice because the internet is complicated. 🙁

  195. Hmm! Mine is:
    Patty: Did you vote? If so all you should do today is try to feel better.

  196. 197

    Glochidia Girl: Hope your drive home goes well.

  197. 198
    Jeanette Meyer

    Meyer: No complaints.

  198. Kelsey Hopson-Shiller: Not Sure, I’m New at Judaism.

  199. Linda Louie: Everything okay with you??

  200. Sharon Summers: 🎊🎊🎊

    party girl central here I guess lol

  201. Lauren B: You’re Doing Great! 😂😂😂

  202. Chumps, I voted over a month ago and volunteered. No lines for me!

    Wenona Lee Gardner recently posted Watch “GISH 2018 GISH TEAM Blessed Be!” on YouTube.

  203. Linda Louie: Everything okay with you?

  204. Murphy: Facebook

    (Although when Lin-Manuel Miranda posted this game, it was “Murphy: yayyy”, which is so much better)

    I never get a sticker, so thank you for giving me one 🙂

  205. Melissa OK I’m just now leaving. LOL Also, WA state does mail in ballots and we don’t get stickers. ☹️ I feel cheated.

  206. My slogan would be ‘Katelyn: 🤞 🍀’
    Which is exactly how confident I feel in the political landscape at the moment…

  207. 208
    Gay West-Klien

    Gay West : 👍🏼

  208. Wendy-Ayn Coy: Have I ever mentioned how much I love you? (Someone was offering me chocolate…)

  209. Melissa A: 🤷🏻‍♀️

  210. John Allen: If you do go there, their vegetarian food is better than their meat options, imo.

    I totally would campaign on the strength of my restaurant recommendations.

  211. Datdamwuf: Got it

  212. Candidate Allison: Heads up that TP order is arriving tomorrow. We should be fine until then – there is an extra roll upstairs, but the one downstairs should last.

    That is a very specific campaign promise, but acheivable.

  213. ACD: I thought I’d finally have to follow through on my threat.

  214. Me: That escalated quickly.

  215. 216
    Karyn Doherty

    “Vote, or forfeit your right to whine about politics until the next election!”

    I’m Karyn Doherty and I approved this message.

    my phone auto corrected ‘approved’ to ‘alewives’ for some reason just then. Huh.

  216. D Beck: He needs to take a test.

  217. Oh man, but my second to last one is even better!

    Candidate Allison: Silly boy. He may poop for me later.

    (My dog only likes to poop when I walk him. 🙄

  218. Kate: Ok thanks.


    Kate: I like it

    I like the second one because it was in reference to someone’s butt 🙂

  219. Brenda Diller: Yay!!

  220. Anne: Oh nooooo!

  221. Kelly:oooh nooo

  222. Pam Clark: Voted last week, thanks.

    (Responding to a friend who wanted to know if I wanted to go vote with him. Not sure why I felt I needed to explain that; it’s actually an awesome slogan.)

  223. Ps
    Thx for the sticker
    I forwarded it to EVERYONE

  224. Aleesa: I know!

  225. Rebecca Russel: She Just Woke Up

  226. Laurie Fellezs: 🖕🏼 2018

  227. 228

    Vote like your rights depend on it

  228. I voted last week because I hate lines and MN is awesome when it comes to early/absentee voting.

    Melanie Rose: OK, I’ll stop XD

  229. Sarah: It was great! They were very good

  230. Blake Carswell: The one MTV banned.

  231. Hillary Lewis : Nice!! (also totally false, so perfect for a slogan)

  232. 233
    Melanie Miller

    Miller: Love you too.

  233. Amber Rainey: Ok, We will be there.

  234. I voted 3 times because my family copies my ballot. Our stickers were the size of freakin’ PLUMS this time. And I’m proudly wearing mine.

  235. Julia Strouse: Ok, I’ll stop trying to flirt with you then.

    For context I sent that to my husband who was at work and therefore too busy to be flirted with at that particular moment.

  236. “I am about to plant my ass on it.”


  237. Amie Wilson: Call me about Comic Con ASAP!

  238. What time are you leaving?

  239. Courtney: I will find out. Stay Dry!

  240. Megan O’Connor: Tomorrow I will be Mumm-Rah.

  241. Melissa Bradley saw you pull in……… 😳

  242. 243

    Kat Montgomery: Did you just butt dial me?

  243. Maia M: I Accepted The Job!

    lots of hubris there but I’m not mad about it

  244. Carl Strauser: That’s one way to do it.

  245. Susan Hoey: Yes! Thank you. I win.

  246. Holly Southern: Now You Laugh.

  247. 248

    Amy : If folks drop out, I’ll be right there–and tell Susan I want to see a picture of her new bangs!

  248. Jennifer: Looking for how to proceed. (Seems better slogan for doing the voting, not for being voted for.)

  249. Shereen Rayle: Done! (I’m not sure if this sounds like I’ve given up or I did all the things already.)

  250. Lindsay: When can I park in my regular space again?

    Seems legit.

  251. Mary Lutz: Nice.

  252. Dee: Had a visitor today. He got some treats.

    And that just sounds dirty. Which would be fitting for a lot of politicians.

    But I was really talking about one of the neighborhood feral cats.

  253. I did not vote today. But I am Canadian (we don’t have an election today!)
    Lesli: I am very proud of you and your attitude. (Hey – What a great campaign slogan!)

  254. Erin S- Just tried

  255. Rebekah Staley: I like that idea.

  256. 257

    Go Trump (away, far away and resign before you go).

    I voted absentee weeks ago.

    Sent from my iPhone


  257. Cassandra: I’m so excited for you babe!

    Seems like a decent slogan.

  258. “I’ll explain later”
    boy does that sound like a real politician or what?

  259. Abigail Greig: “Where’s my money? I don’t see it”

  260. I can’t tell which one I like more:
    *The text I sent right before I started reading this post: Aliens!!!! DINOSAURS!!!!!!!!
    *The text I sent in the middle of reading this post: Look who decided to nap today!

  261. Cathy: “I think we lucked out.”

  262. Z3lda72: am over having children
    More importantly, did you get a democracy sausage? They ate the best bit of voting here

  263. *are (but nice try autocorrect)

  264. Enkidu13: Fucking Turtle.

  265. I voted (vote by mail in Oregon) and didn’t get a sticker. OR mail in ballots need to step up their game.

    My campaign slogan
    Cissell: What’s a girl got to do to get an internal body part in a jar?

    I am not sure I want to know who’d vote for me.

  266. 267
    Amanda K Sprochi

    Enkidu13: Fucking Turtle.

  267. Mary: This light mist is getting kind of chunky.

  268. I went to the polls today about 11:30am thinking I would hit a slower time before the morning and afternoon rush. Boy was I wrong. I live in a rural area and our polling place had only two electronic machines and very few paper ballots which they preferred you did not use. The line ran in a “U” shape almost out the door. Good voter turnout but ridiculous the lack of resources used. Hopefully next election they will get it right.

  269. Heather: But if meth is easier….😉

  270. Eric Yeah. (I’m severely disappointed in my campaign slogan.)

    Eric - Editor recently posted Crushes: Stories – Coming November 23rd.

  271. Lisa: I forgot my rings

  272. Tarrah Egelhoff: I’m hungry. Can we go eat?

  273. Jaggers:Jaggers – When u get a chance, can u look at ur meds and tell me how many days left of each u have. Luv u!

  274. Anonymous: I’m still learning
    (Was referring to patience but pretty much everything too.)

  275. 276
    Doug in Oakland

    Doug in Oakland, Good morning Zsuzs, Timber, and Squeaker.

  276. Seana G: I love you. That’s a bit of an overstatement for the world at large, but we could really use more love and less hate in the world, so I approve this message.

  277. Sandy: You WILL put away dishes this morning before you go to school

  278. 279
    Sholeen Nett

    Sholeen Nett: Clearly you need an ass kicking

  279. Chris Perisich: Big surprise, right?

  280. 281
    Sholeen Nett

    which was sent to my beloved son but makes a great general campaign slogan because it is always true

  281. Carol Lennox: Oh Dear Lord Yes!

  282. Jessica Muse: I totally forgot the word for tow truck. So, I’m driving behind a tow truck thinking to myself, “will this towmobile ever get out of my way.”

  283. If you had Oregon Vote By Mail, you’d never have to leave your house – and you could avoid the lines. Since you don’t, thanks so much for making the effort. Not an inconsequential burden but a necessary one.

  284. 285

    White: we have gas again, and your stove is working.

  285. Vernita I’m not sure how many pictures there are of Andrew Jackson

  286. Mine is “Linn: How was your vagina in the dead sea?”

  287. Grace: I failed, but will try again next week.

    That actually accurately describes my life.

  288. My name + a reminder to my seniors who aren’t even remotely prepared for the project they’re doing. Bad teacher. https://possumscatsthingsgnawingatme.wordpress.com/2018/11/06/cave-yoga-keepin-it-weird/

  289. I printed the stickers (on regular paper, because that’s what was available) and gave them out to people at work. Weirdly, no one wanted the one with the word ‘Nazi’ on it.

  290. “Your Mom called and we talked for an hour.”
    Ooo…I like this slogan!

  291. We have mail in ballots in WA. The strip that you tear off has the image of an “I voted” sticker. It’s not quite the same.

    I can’t do the name plus last text because I would have to turn my phone on to look at what that was and I’m avoiding doing that. 😀

  292. “Melissa: Oh good! Multiple accidents”
    Well that seems like it would sum it right up

  293. “Marcy, my knee is pissed!” … I like it!

  294. Jillian: It’s the 21st Century, son. I Venmo.

  295. Adam Gerstein: You get a sticker (I was trying to get my 18 year old son to vote)

  296. Akemi Tanaka: Who is this?

  297. Deva Haney: YAY y’all!!

  298. I’m now “Dianne Fuck-Off-and
    -take-me-off-your-contact-list” after Trump texted me (I’ve never texted him or followed him, I swear).

  299. I love that sticker! Mine would be…

    Michelle: Carrot chips

    Michelle - lazydayproject.com recently posted My Ideal Blogging Life.

  300. Kristi Visser: That’s fine 🙂

    HAHA feels kind of appropriate

  301. Josie B: Back off Ima Killer
    vote for me…or else.

  302. Caren T.:Its really hard and frustrating when you keep trying, nothing seems to work and your running out of ideas.

  303. Tara G: Let’s do a homemade liqueur swap for Christmas.

  304. LAF: WTF is happening today

    I think it’s perfect.

  305. 306
    Michele West

    MICHELE: I think the grindy noise is coming from the rear end.

  306. Toni O’Dell: I have my moments!

  307. Linda Mason: Totally

  308. Mary Thomas: I see your cat, and raise you a mighty mouse eating raptor.

  309. Thomas Blanton: How did she get stranded?

    Thomas (MJ) recently posted The secret ingredient is love. Or a prescription-strength antihistamine. One of those..

  310. Gina: weird.

  311. Kate: “oh that makes sense!”

  312. Cory: No fucking way.

  313. 314

    Jennifer Walker: Good. Damn. Question. 😡😡😡

  314. Jennifer Perez: Forgot. I’ll call now.

  315. Sandy. If I win big, I’ll give you some.

  316. McCauley: I love baking….and eating bread.

    Now go vote! (But not for me. I obviously would be to fat and full to get anything done)

  317. Lostdotter: Ok, I’ll Zelle it

  318. melanie b —- : Because, otter nose, obviously.

  319. I don’t have a clever slogan, but I love your “Voted” stickers! Thanks for leaving your house (seriously, thanks; I know it’s not easy), fighting for us all (as you do with your blog and your books too. How many people were able to get out and vote because of your writing?), and for trying to change the world. Thanks to EVERYONE here who got out and voted in this election.


  320. Tiffany McCall: I wouldn’t stay behind him very long!

  321. Deborah Guillen: headed out, want me to get the boys?

    This could be so dirty, but alas, this was me to my husband about kid pick up.

  322. Deborah Guillen: headed out, want me to get the boys?

    This could be so dirty, but alas, this was me to my husband about kid pick up.

  323. Deborah Guillen: headed out, want me to get the boys?

    This could be so dirty, but alas, this was me to my husband about kid pick up.

  324. Erin Shoemaker: Just got off the plane.

  325. 326

    Penni Ellington: I may have to pop back home to pee at some point.

  326. Deanna Archer: Science experiment is currently in the testing phase. The proposed outcome should produce something around 40 calories a serving.

  327. Library Heather: Just schoolwork.
    (In response to my sister asking if I was doing anything fun for my birthday.)
    Yeah, this would never get me any votes.

    Library Heather recently posted In which I discover libraries supporting health and wellness – Part 2..

  328. Sara McCall: Hey mom, any chance of snow play this weekend?

    sounds…not quite right out of context…

  329. 330
    Becky McKimmy

    Becky McKimmy: Oh good!!!

  330. Pam Gray: Someone in this conference room just farted.

  331. Deborah: The end is nigh.

  332. Linda: Already did, thanks.

  333. You got my respect! I hope all goes…….well…..not totally terrible! I also wanted to write that your. Blog and books gave me courage to try ja own little blog of crazy! Thank you foremost and your community! Stay awesome y’all!

  334. Tracy Nicol
    WHOA!! I’ll pass. Thanks so much!!

  335. I also love leaving lots of typos because ja spellcheck is still in german und I have no idea how to change it! Awesome! I like coming off as an imbecile!

  336. Emily Page: Clearly she doesn’t understand the importance of donuts.

    emilypageart recently posted RIP Dizzy.

  337. Elizabeth: She’s still a prostitution whore, though

  338. JILL: Hi! We’re almost to the hotel.

  339. Lea: I’ll start your tater tots.

  340. Enders: Never a dull moment around here!

  341. My husband: ‘Finishing up soon. <3’

    Mine apparently doesn’t keep sent messages, only ones I received?!?

    reneewittman recently posted Halloween: We Hand Out Candy But Tundra Is the Real Attraction.

  342. Dana: I generally just add anchovies and Tabasco to whatever is available

  343. 344
    Rebecca Scott

    Rebecca Scott: I’m here
    I was in the pick up line for my son, but it kind of works! 🤣

  344. Kathy Young: Scooter South Park is on point!

  345. Tamara: No, she isn’t.

  346. 347
    Mary Pyrzynski

    Pyrzynski: Perfect! Thank you!

  347. Lori Singaraju: Whoops.

  348. Courtney: I can get that.

  349. 350
    Jennifer Kimberly

    Jennifer Kimberly: Someone has been begging for dinner since 3:25.

  350. 351
    Rachel McCaleb Watts

    Rachel Watts: We have two bottles of prosecco

  351. Amy Kilbride. I’m in the limelight, having a martini.

  352. Erin Foster: Tyler said he’s doing well and to keep up the practicing.

  353. Natalie Browning: This is my district right now. Ahh!

  354. Kristin DeLooff: Benedict Cumberbatch

  355. Erin M. : I miss you.

  356. Christie Yerby: Feel better. We will handle it.

  357. TJ Jordan: Meh.

  358. Craig-Whytock: Add me on Snapchat!

    mydangblog recently posted My Week 215: Delusions Under Which I Suffer.

  359. Fran Fuller: We don’t need it. But it’s still cool.

  360. PEÑA: I’m not crazy, right?!?

  361. 362
    Heather Torrey

    Heather: Please put away the clean dishes and snuggle the cat.

    Going for the Mom vote, there….

  362. Heather: DANG, GLAD I’M AT WORK!!

    ……. Not so sure my campaign would be successful.

  363. Hali: Staring down the Hungry Hungry Hippo

  364. Lori Z. – Chrysanthemums and dogs.
    Sun’s up something, not sure what…

  365. “Sums”

  366. Bronwyn David: Everything is fine.

    bronwyndavid recently posted Stranger Things birthday card.

  367. Elizabeth Renee: I already took off my bra

  368. Nicolette Mari: You should really be cleaning your toilets more often than that…

  369. Jen Tiller: I’m locked in the bedroom with the cats and Lester Holt.

  370. 371
    Just Another Sarah

    Sarah B: That puppy is high af

  371. AR: Did you check a bag

  372. Marlene Doyle: Are you still cool with tomorrow?

    <yep, but only if we roll the big orange one out today lol>

  373. “Well l made a determined effort to catch up but I can’t do it.”

    I might win the prize for least effective slogan. Also my friends are much better at Duolingo than I am.

  374. 375
    Shawna Lee Lauria

    Shawna Lee Lauria: You’re Welcome! 🌊🌊🌊

  375. One would hope. Maybe I need to obtain a Beto lawn sign to keep me alive once this evil caravan hits our border.

  376. AmyAllen 😬crazy and I hope he never does that.

  377. My slogan would be Sharon: “Okay. Enjoy the day off! (thumbs up emoji)”

  378. Is that the title of your new book?

  379. Janet Salm: Yah that dog is too old and too big – too much heartbreak ahead

    Yup, political mastermind and major bummer, that’s me.

  380. 381

    Helen Mathey-Horn: “Actually you are right it would be better to talk it out.”

  381. Chelsea: I’m proud of you for trying something new!

  382. Rebecca Payne: I feel you, Rice.
    (Rice is my friend’s cat)

  383. Paul: #105 and 106 are important, so I figured I’d mention them.

  384. Kate: Will do. Smooch!

    (This seems like an ill-advised campaign promise.)

  385. Katy: Unsubscribe Please

  386. 387
    Donna Mayes

    Donna Mayes – Just got home

  387. Layne Floyd: It’s a fair message, but a bit aggressive.

    😂 Sounds like a reaction to a lot of campaign ads.

  388. 389
    Marcia White

    Marcia White: 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  389. 390
    Margot Williams

    Margot Williams: Here.

  390. Helen Campbell 😝
    I think the emoji says it all really

  391. Diane Downs: for real. She’s a genius like that

  392. 393
    Sarah Davis

    Sarah Davis: I see Facebook has banned you again. Penis ghost?

  393. Emily Blackthorn: I survived my first voting experience.

    Fitting. Now to see if we survive to vote again.

  394. 395
    Maranda Daniels

    Maranda Daniels: I bought the kids pictures. They’ll be mailed to my house.

    That sounds really bad and I feel the need to explain. My son and his wife couldn’t afford to buy the school pictures of their kids this year so I helped out.

  395. 396
    Stephanie S

    Stephanie Schlandt: About 3 minutes away

  396. This is amazing and you are amazing! Thank you for working to make TX a better place despite the results last night <3

  397. Anonymous: Yes to lunch

  398. Julie Lay: I switched from wine to water. I’m like reverse Jesus.

  399. Mandy: Did you remember to check the chickens water?

  400. They still had I voted stickers at our polling place when we voted, but the Future Voter ctickers were nicer — bigger and altogether more noticeable — so I asked them for one of those. They said they were for kids who couldn’t vote yet, and I just did, so no. But I said that I planned to vote in the future as well, and then they said well, I guess maybe then I could.

  401. Chi Sherman: Angels’ wings are crashing to the ground and we all need a drink. (There was also a text about crying, but I’d rather start my campaign on a highe– hmm. Never mind. 😀 )

  402. BC–“Same here. Second cup of coffee is waiting in the car. I should have brought it in.”

  403. Martina: Considering how the tp prank went over – maybe I should worry about pipe bombs in the mailbox

  404. Barbara Dodge: “I’m watching returns for one hour then going to bed”
    Big congrats to you Love. out, vote, sticker. Woot!

  405. Mine would be “Katie Spray: I would still be asleep if Anna Leigh hadn’t woken me up at 7! It’s gonna be such a fun day!” It was a very sarcastic text to my friend after telling her i’d have to stay home to watch my three siblings.

  406. Karen Delaney: They have sippy cups for wine at Costco. They know their audience well.

  407. Shannon Hogue: “I just don’t know. I’m pretty happy with the rest of the state. I’m just going to ignore NW Iowa.” Yep, accurate.

  408. Jenny Bristol: Ha!!

    Jenny Bristol recently posted Marginalia No. 16.

  409. Liz McCord: No. Still in therapy. Stop texting me.

  410. Billie Witte: I’m having Tylenol for lunch.

  411. Julie: we are out of hockey tape.

  412. 413
    theresa leahy okvist

    theresa: LMK if you need help/stuff. we worry for you. xo.

  413. 414
    Kim Tietz Edwards

    “Kim Edwards: I’ll call you in 5 minutes.”

    Accurate. It would be MORE accurate if it was “Kim Edwards: I’ll be 5 minutes late.”

  414. Maria B: Sorry, your dad packed it. Can you buy chips? (slogan)

    From the state of Georgia – we came so close in the governer’s race! Hard to be blue in a sea of red.

  415. Deb Fehrenbach: Leaving bank now have cash

  416. Marisa Mandich: BLERG

    Extremely apropos

  417. 418
    Kelly Small

    Kelly Small: I’ll be there. Yay!

  418. Casey Lockledge: Hnnng, Gay

  419. JennyB: ETA 22 min.

  420. Jenny – thank you: you make a difference in more ways than you know. <3

  421. Laura: [clown-face emoji]

  422. 423
    Carol Anne Fusco

    Carol Fusco: We have a plan!

  423. Katie W- what the hell is going on over there?

    this is incredibly fitting, I feel like this is what the rest of the world is thinking all the damn time about the U.S.

  424. Becca Stallings: Are you in the coffee shop like last time?

    (I guess that’s a specific variant on, “Are you better off than 4 years ago?”)

  425. 426
    Lona Tucker

    Lona Don’t be a pessimist please

  426. My last text campaign slogan is amazing.

    Kim B: It’s fine. Really it’s going to be fine just miserable.

    Kind of feel like I could actually run in the US under that slogan right now

  427. Rebecca W.: “But at least give the patient the choice first!”

  428. Jay Eldred: Because who can afford tattoos?

  429. Maddie Green: Yeah, but, they would have to eat it to get poisoned!

    The RealBeYourself recently posted The Journey Begins.

  430. Melverenice: I will stop now, before I completely go nuts.

  431. “Annushka: Prescription has been collected”

  432. Jacobs: so fucking annoying

    I’m not sure if I should be offended or applaud how spot on that is

  433. Amy Corey: Hardshell Cafe

    PS: thanks Jenny for giving out smiles on any day that I need them.

  434. I walked in the rain on wet leaves to vote. Came back sneezing. Last text message says “It’s about damn time.”

  435. I voted early! I live in a thoroughly red Southern state, so no joy on a local level. On a state level, all the republicans won but we managed to keep a good state Supreme Court justice and quash a constitutional amendment that would have been absolutely devastating. Oh and we’re raising the minimum wage!

    Sara: What A Goofball

  436. If I had a text message it would be: I canceled out my husband’s vote, and I ain’t sorry

    judyt54 recently posted oh, please.

  437. Kristin: I just might!

  438. Carey M: I really feel that substitute teaching for 20 days is a bit extreme to avoid serving kielbasa.

  439. Dulcie: Be a big boy. I’ve already got to babysit your father, you’ve got to take care of yourself.
    ***I think I could win with this one


  441. Sarah Wilson: Don’t let the zipparumpazoos bite!
    (If you remember that book you can be my running mate!)

  442. Kim: Thanks, you are awesome!

  443. April Abramenko: Did you hear the joke about the roof, if tell it to you but it but it would just go over your head.

  444. My campaign:
    M- C- : Driver charged with urinating out of car during police pursuit.

    … I was sending a friend a news article, okay?! We compete over finding people who Make Very Bad Choices And Be On the News. He told me about Florida Man after he visited America (from Australia). Turns out it’s not just Florida.

  445. I just lost my sister, so getting to the poles was a huge accomplishment for me. It also makes for a very sad slogan. …

  446. I have a hand tremor that comes and goes with stress. People sometimes give me wierd looks when it gets bad, but that arm was paralyzed three years ago and is pretty much fine now and I can do planks again, so they can all just jump off.

    As for my slogna

    liz: Coke is my go-to for draggy days

    And yes, I did mean a caffeinated, carbonated beverage (which could be Dr. Pepper given that I am also in Texas).

  447. 448
    Doreen Moore

    Adulting SUCKS.

  448. Bollinger: it’s 5pm and I’m still drinking regular coffee

  449. Micaa Miles: I must have misunderstood cu you said earlier no drill. Haha. Talking about ROTC drill team. Fitting

  450. The voting booth IS my safety zone.

  451. Panya: She’s so annoyed.

    I think that works perfectly as a campaign slogan, lol. [I’d sent my spouse a picture of our cat looking mad; she was pissed off because I wouldn’t hold her like a baby and also because I’m wearing a hat so she couldn’t lick my hair.]

  452. mikeski: not this time.

    As political slogans go, that seems rather self-defeating. Which is okay by me; I wouldn’t want the job.

  453. Peter: Can it wait until Wednesday?

  454. Chris: No matter the results, the sun is still going to come up tomorrow.

    p.s. Don’t delete Jon’s picture. He’s fun to look at!

  455. Sara: Ah yes. That one is my fault


  456. Today’s is especially awesome… Marsha Goldberg: I should see you tomorrow, dog’s health willing.

  457. 458
    Diana Tallent

    “Diana Tallent. Gotcha.” (Too Trumpian for me!)

  458. Hubs and I cancel each other out.

  459. 460
    Mendy Gilliam

    Mendy Gilliam: What did you sign me up for?

    That’s about right.

  460. Shiela B: Let the Bane jokes begin!


Leave a Reply