I’m probably not dying yet.

in Random Crap

Remember a week ago when I was freaking out about how I thought my thyroid was going to murder me and you calmed me down by assuring me that it’s easy to fix thyroid stuff?  Well, I just heard from my doctor and the good news is that my thyroid is okay and the bad news is that my thyroid is okay because that means that something else is causing this lump in my throat.

My dr. says that it might be anything or nothing and that it’s entirely possible that it’s some polyp or ulcer and that maybe it’ll just go away.  Or it’ll keep growing and turn out to be a silent twin and it’ll take over my brain and then it’ll have to worry about all of this.

Long story short, I’m going to give it a week or two and hope it just goes away and if it doesn’t they start doing swallow tests and throat scopes and other stuff which I’m almost possible will also come out inconclusive and call for more tests and then I’ll get bored and get distracted with another part of my body that is falling apart.

128 thoughts on “I’m probably not dying yet.”

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Good news about the thyroid. I trust the lump isn’t hot or painful to touch, that would suggest infection. Which in some ways is good because it should be treatable. I hope if it is a lump it’s benign and can be removed if it grows or causes you symptoms.

  5. A silent twin. What a concept! Good luck keeping her down when she finds out about the interwebs and your peeps here.

  7. With my auto immune disease I have esophageal motility disorder, and weird esophagus stuff. I hope it goes away, but if it doesn’t, what I have isn’t so bad to live with. Except for the random times food and water fly out of my mouth. But it’s been sort a party trick for a while now, so I guess its also a win?

  8. That 100% sucks. Now if it turns out to be a throat-twin, you’ll have to figure out a name for it. Like you don’t have enough on your plate.

    All kidding aside, I hope it’s nothing and everything is good and 2019 is awesome.

  9. I’m sorry another part of you is falling apart. Don’t you love that the doctor is just kind of “Meh! Maybe it’s something serious, maybe it’s not!” Let’s go with the silent twin theory that you can turn into a Stephen King type horror book!

  12. It’s always something. I hope it’s a small inconsequential easily and quickly dealt with something!

  13. I feel your pain – I just left the cardiologist with completely normal test results, thus giving me no insight as to the random episodes of tachycardia I’ve been having ☹️

  14. This is all cos’ yo mama didn’t sift the flour and stir the gravy when she was pregnant with you. Southern girl problems.

  15. You have to be okay. You know how sometimes you can’t find your keys and it takes you a really, really long time to find them, but you never outright all the way totally LOSE your keys? You’re too important to us. You are the keys. We love you, Jenny. Plus, yes, your head will probably turn purple by next week, so there’s that, too. Sending you all the love and good vibes.

  16. wtf? Maybe it will just go away? I don’t mean to alarm you but what doctor says that???

  17. Do you think your silent twin will be a writer too? Oh, a collaboration! (I’m kind of hoping for a silent twin at this point.) sorrynotsorry?

  18. Keeping fingers crossed for something that can be squeezed or nuked with antibiotics and glad it is not your thyroid.

  19. We have the same birthday, so first, Happy Birthday early! Ok, so I have had esophageal problems and those swallow tests can be pretty annoying. So, if you have ANY allergy or sinus problems, deal with them promptly. Like, well before the tests. The manometry tests are done going through a nostril and I happen to have extraordinarily inflamed sinus passages which made the tests hellacious. I am glad that your thyroid is okay. If it turns out to be something esophageal, there are pretty good fixes for that. (Mine has been fixed twice) I hope the remainder of your year and your birthday (12/30/73, here) are delightful or at the very least, non-traumatic. ~sincerely, a fan and birthday sharer.

  20. I’m so glad the thyroid stuff came back okay! Hopefully the lump is just some random swelling, and fingers crossed you get a clear answer soon, but think of all the things you could outsource to a silent twin!

  21. Have you been abducted by aliens, lately? That would explain a lot.
    It may just go away by itself, but keep an eye on it. May be just once a day though so you don’t obsess.

  23. You’ll be fine. Everything will turn out OK and then Victor will call you Lumpy from now on. You’ll see, this will just end up being a chapter in the next book. Or the one after that. Hang in there, Lumpy.

  24. I am sorry you are on this medical rollercoaster. Been there myself quite a few times. I always want to punch people who say “just relaaaax” so I won’t go there. Instead I will wish you good luck and good times. Do what helps. Spend time with those you love and those who make you laugh. Love on all your creatures. Tell your worry you’ll get back to it in two weeks or however long you need to ‘wait & see’. I know that last one sounds crazy but I can tell you that it works, even if you have to tell it ‘see ya later’ 100 times a day at first.
    All my best.

  25. So, Jenny, my theory is that you can’t be really, really sick, because you’re critical to our functioning. You know how sometimes you misplace your keys and you spend a really, really long time looking for them, but you never outright lose them? You’re the keys in this illustration. You’re OUR keys. And of course Hailey’s and Victor’s. Also, yes, give. Your experience? You’ll probably wake up sometime in the next couple of days and your entire head will have turned purple, or something, so there’s that. Sending all the love and good vibes, and also, this may end up getting posted twice, so okay, I’m a dork.

  26. I too had a lump. An ultrasound, CT scan and fine needle aspiration revealed it was a random swollen gland. Just that one. It comes and goes now. My body is just weird like that

  32. My sister had a lump in her throat, it was a fatty, hairy, smelly, cyst. Super gross and completely harmless! If you have a lump, I hope it’s fatty, hairy, smelly and harmless. And I kinda hope it has a tooth.

  33. Wow, really? They diagnosed my mom’s thyroid polyps with imaging. No fancy swallow tests or weird things. Her Thyroid was fine. She just had polyps.

  34. All you can do is wait and think positively, and if that means hoping it becomes a twin to think about it all for you, just keep wishing 🙂

  35. You always make me feel better about my 83 year old body with some worn parts. Just keep going with what I have left

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  36. “Inconclusive” is one of the most annoying words in the medical field. I have a weird lump-thing where you can see my pulse in my neck from across the room. They ran all kinds of tests and said it probably isn’t anything serious, since they checked for all the serious stuff, and anything else would be inconclusive. Hope your lump decides to go away and it’s just one of the weird things bodies do to make sure you’re paying attention.

  37. Do you add lemon juice to your water? Or eat a lot of acidic food? The acid can erode the lining in your throat. I used to add a lot of lemon to my water. One day it felt like a had a huge piece of bread or something stuck in the throat. Initially they thought it was my tonsils since they were huge so I had my tonsils out. The feeling didn’t go away so they scoped my throat. That is when they noticed the lining of my throat was in bad shape. I quit the lemon in my water and it only took a couple of months for that feeling to go away. That was 7 1/2 years ago and I have not had any other problems. I hope your situation is an easy fix like mine was (well, easy other than having my tonsils out for no reason).

  40. I had a thyroglossal duct cyst that looked like a weird lump in my neck. It commonly shows up in young children, but mine made an appearance in my late 30s. Totally benign and removed in an outpatient procedure.

  42. I’m glad it’s not your thyroid. I really like the silent twin theory too. That would explain a LOT of things going on in the world right now, wouldn’t it? Everyone has a silent twin and they’re taking over the world! Bwahah! Well, happy birthday early! Lol!

  43. Shit. And that’s good? At least it’s not thyroid cancer? But maybe it’s something else just as bad like nodes on your vocal cords which also suck balls? ::hugs::

  44. And continues the endless hell of rheumatoid arthritis or any other auto immune disorder. I’m with you……it fucking sucks.

  45. Maybe it’s and Adam’s apple and you’re turning into a man. We can call you jenson then and the vampire brotherhood will totally accept you now. Yay you’re going to be a vampire

  46. Don’t you love when doctors are not as concerned as you feel they should be? My daughter has 3 different things going on with her heart right now and it has been 3 months of different tests. This last one she did the test last month, and we don’t see the doctor for results until next week. As her mother, I am of course like, why are we waiting?! It’s her freaking heart! The doctor is like, “Oh, whatever it is, I don’t think it requires surgery, probably just some medicine.” me: Blank stare while wondering how easy it is to get a pediatric cardiology degree.
    If it is an evil twin, do you think he/she will still let the pets help you write? 😉

  47. Always love the diagnosis of “it could be insert terminal illness here or it could be nothing at all; there’s no way to tell at this point”. Thanks, doc. You’ve been a load of help.

  48. Ugh, “we don’t know what’s wrong with you” is like the worst thing to hear from doctors.

  49. Glad it’s not your thyroid and hope it turns out to be the ‘nothing at all’. Or the silent twin. Do you have a name for her/him?

  52. It’s probably just nerves. I’ve known that to happen to at least a couple of people. P.S. If a person is paranoid because they have lots of health problems, are they still a hypochondriac? <3

  53. The insurance company must really love you drumming up all of this business for them!

  54. Could it be anxiety? I only ask because last year I had a huge lump in my throat. I had everything looked at. I’m sure it was just anxiety (now) but ZOMG did I think I was dying. Solidarity sister.

  55. I feel ya. I have pulmonary nodules that could be cancer or could be nothing. So reassuring!

  57. I had a benign lump on my thyroid and eventually had it removed out of excessive caution. The cool part is that getting surgically slashed across the throat made me look like a Pez dispenser for a little while.

  59. It’s nerve wracking – been there. Try to remember that if it’s an auto-immune condition that stress can make it like that – ie, inflammation. Also been there. I remember the Dr. saying it’s probably not cancer and scheduling the tests and me spending nights worrying about it. I’m all good now, goiter gone, the swallowing issues, gone and I’m on a low dose of thyroid med. There’s no easy way about this when you’re dealing with it and we all write and want to re-assure you. A bit of that has to come from you 🙂 – so feel the love that is being sent your way and from your family (online & not) and know that what you are feeling is perfectly normal. (Hey for me it’s 15 years since that all cropped up – all good now 🙂 )

  61. Many years ago, I developed a lump in my throat that I felt whenever I swallowed. Had a horrible doctor who, after weeks of antibiotics, decided I should be tested for leukemia and Hodgkins disease. I went to an ear, nose and throat guy, he stuck a camera down there (wasn’t bad) and discovered I had a hiatal hernia. It finally went away. Here’s hoping yours will be equally mild.

  62. It probably is a polyp that will fade quietly from existence without you even really noticing. Sometimes when I have a lot of sinus trouble and drainage, I get what feels like a sharp thing in my throat that hurts when I swallow – but it always disappears when the drainage/sinus trouble goes away. OTHER GOOD NEWS: The doctor does not seem to be terribly impressed or worried which should set your mind at ease unless you have a SUPER SHITTY Doc McQuackenstock type. Which I am sure you do NOT. 🙂

  64. At least it’s not a goiter. I still remember that class in high school biology with the picture of a woman with an softball sized goiter on her neck. Yikes. In the immortal words of Arnold Swartenegger “It’s naught a tumah!”

    💋 😘

  65. I had an ex w/ an uncle who had 4 kidneys (2 tiny ones) and an extra set of teeth (not at once, he lost his twice).They think he ate his twin in utero. Most of his fam couldn’t find their way out of a wet paper bag but this guy was a surgeon. The twin thing might not be so bad.

    Then again, I have a fraternal twin that I don’t talk to. So it can be troublesome too.

  66. SO glad your thyroid is AOK! You’ll be fine, as you always are. You are indestructible!! Love you

  68. Last Christmas I had a tooth abscess and I ended up with IV antibiotics for 5 days and I thought that warranted a small amount of pampering. The Viking didn’t agree so he manufactured a massive lump on the side of his neck that quickly grew into his face. He was in the hospital for 7 days and I had to pamper HIM! His was some sort of swollen gland/s which the Doctors worried would cut off his airway. It didn’t. We’ve had a discussion about his habit of over-riding MY health issues with bigger health issues and he’s agreed to stop it, so you don’t need to worry about that.

    As for your lump…..I hope it’s just a swollen gland. Or maybe a vitamin deficiency that gives you benign cysts. You’re a warrior and due for a break so maybe it’s nothing.

  69. Maybe your twin is just a silly lil’ dermoid, filled with stuff like teeth and hair. In case you ever need extra !!!

  70. Maybe you overdid it with the shower Christmas carols? Sometimes nodules will appear after over use or a strain on the vocal chords. Sometimes the nodules can form from straining, yelling or frequent singing. Did you over flex your vocal chords this holiday season missy???

  73. My lumps and bumps rule is that if they persist for two weeks, I get them checked out. I am a nurse, and we are notorious for being the worst patients ever. Evenso, your plan sounds like a solid one. Here’s hoping it goes the way it came.

  74. I know how scary it can be to have some weird part of your body trying to overthrow you. I’m sure you’ll get through this. I’ve had a throat scope before. They’re a piece of cake. You’ll do great! 👍

  76. I had a similar thing which turned out to be a lipoma. Which sounds scary but is just a lump of rogue fat that apparently has nothing to do with being fat. I named her Chelsea.

  77. The lump in my throat is an allergic reaction to several things – melon, raw carrots, broccoli and cauliflower. When I cut those out, it went away. Good luck.

  78. I needed to see this today. I’ve been in the hospital since Christmas with my throat almost swollen shut and a mystery mass on my thyroid. Your blog always reminds me to take things as they come rather than letting my worry run away with me. Thank you!

  79. Look at all the famous singers and actors who get throat stuff done! Just means you are getting famous and need to stop singing for awhile, lol.

  81. I have thyroid issues and had a similar thing happen. Felt like a lump in my throat, and made me cough but no pain. I was also very burpy from adding estrogen hrt and that was causing a globus. Basically all the burping aggravated the muscles in my throat. Stopped the estrogen and it went away! If you have any type of heartburn or burping it could be a globus.

  82. My friend’s son was born with a hemangioma in his throat that the doctors said would resolve itself eventually. It did, but it took 3 years and it woke him constantly at night, so my friend basically didn’t sleep more than 30 minutes at a time for 3 years. So that was fun. Here’s hoping you get real answers soon and that you don’t keep Victor from sleeping more than 30 minutes at a time…unless the reason is that you’re having brilliant thoughts you need to wake him up for, or that Beyonce just won’t stop knock knock knockin’.

  83. I send my best vibes your way! I’m dealing with something right now & am amazed by how much my attitude is keeping me calm. Even the pain is secondary to my hope. For me, that’s really awesome! I hope the same (or better) for you!

  85. Wellll, if it makes you feel any better, we’re all dying from the minute we’re born, what with oxygen being toxic to humans and all. But, I’m happy your thyroid is okay! Mine is not. And a shitty thyroid makes you feel super craptacular. Hope you don’t have a brain eating tumor twin growing in your neck!

  87. Give it a name. Things are much less threatening when they have a name. Helga Hufflelump.

  88. Ok I’ve not read all the comments. When my daddy was dying of throat cancer, i noticed a “lump” in my throat. Turned out it was GERD, EASILY TREATABLE,!!!!

  89. Have I ever told you how AMAZING you are for all you get done while being thoroughly Borken??? You are one of my heroes!!!

  90. After reading a bunch of the comments I now feel a lump in my throat and pretty sure I have cancer, GERD, polyps, blocked glands, globuses ( globi??), and other heinous diseases

  92. If it makes you feel better my mom has something called Swallow Syncope, which is just fancy talk for “Heart stops when swallowing, Passes out. “. It is super rare and took them 10 years to properly diagnose because no one listens when I talk. So see, it could be worse.

  94. I just found out I have a narrow esophagus. Thank the sweet heavens that my husband got me to the ER when I could not swallow and threw up all over Red Robin – I looked like some crazy woman vomiting in the bushes!

  95. Don’t panic yet!! I went to my doc because there was a lump under my tongue and he was baffled by it so sent me to an ENT… The ENT sent me for dye X-rays and when I went in for that I found out I have FOUR sets of false salivary ducts FOUR FREAKING SETS!!! So since I’m a medical anomaly the X-ray guy marches in (no fucking joke) 30 student doctor people to all see and feel my face all up. One of them asks what the lump on my throat was and I’m all IDK it’s been there forever. So for “fun” they decide to dye and exray that B… It’s a false gland that has a stone in it (the lump under the tongue was a stone too). Had surgery to take the stones out and they went ahead and remover the fake gland since it would just keep filling with crap.

    Human bodies are so weird!!

  96. My mom had a growth (benign tumor) on her neck as a teenager. She named it and still refers to it that way when she talks about it. So, look on the bright side – you have something new to give an awesome, thoughtful, punny name to if it sticks around (even though I hope it doesn’t)!

    And, honestly, you’re going to be alright. You’re being proactive and making sure it is taken care of as early as possible. Nothing but good vibes are headed your way from your clan of friends, family, and internet masses of people. And, seriously, name it. You’ll feel better because you’ll know one thing for certain about it – even if it is just its name!

  97. If there is a palpable or visible llump, polyps seem like a likely suspect. But if it is a sensation of a lump or a feeling of having something partially “blocking” your throat when you swallow, and / or a sensation of your swallowing feeling grating or constricted, you might want to ask your ENT or allergist to test for eosinophilic esophagitis. It’s super fun allergic / autoimmune adjacent syndrome that can feel like a lump in the throat. Basically, it’s an allergic disorder that causes eosinohiks (white blood cells that activate and get created at a faster rate in response to an allergen) to cause swelling and fluid buildup inside the tissues and membranes lining your esophagus.

    They can do bloodwork and can take a wee biopsy during the throat scope that could rule it in or out as a cause. It is not rare, but not common, so some doctors are unaware of it. The bad newsbis it is much more likely yo occur in people who have a history of allergic respinses and/or autoimmune issues. The good news is that it is very treatable – identify any triggering environmental, food, or other allergies and lessen your exposure, and use appropriatel medications to calm the allergic response..

    I know of a person who developed the syndrome a year after a water damage in her house. It turned out that cibtractors had failed to clear a small portion of water damaged wood subfloorung in her office. There was some mold growth that was triggering a hypersensitivity and eosinophilic esophagitiis. Her bloodwork was fairly inconckusive, just showing sime inflammation markers and a slight increase in eosinophilis, but a biopsy identified the issue, after she had endured a year of fiscomfort, worry, and false starts with incorrect diagnoses.

    Once the problem had been identified, allergy tests were carried out which identified a high level of antibodies to mold, which led to the discovery of the problem in her home office. Meds and removing the trigger calmed the esophagus inflammation down. She described the sensation as a lump in the throat, and a sirt of “rolling or grinding or swallowing over something, like I’m swallowing over a series of tiny rollingbligs in my throat.”

  98. Oops! I hate autocorrect. “eosinophilis”, not eisinohiks”. WTF, autocorrect?!? That isn’t even a word!

  99. Oh, dear! SO happy it’s not your thyroid! Polyps can almost never be felt physically on your neck or throat from the outside. They aren’t lumpy and they are usually small. I had a lot of them at one time*. A simple Endoscopy would allow a doc to see them, film them and remove them in less than 10 minutes or so. You’re knocked out so no pain. If it’s any other obstruction in your esophagus, your doc would nip that as well. I’ve had a bazillion Endoscopies. They do them at Outpatient Surgical Centers now and you go home a few hours later.

  100. Oh dear, Jenny! Is the problem difficulty swallowing or a lump you feel on your throat or neck? Have no fear! Almost every problem associated with this is easily treated and healed.

    In either case, you might just ask your doctor for a Gastroenterologist referral, and have that doc schedule an Endoscopy. Simple procedure they knock you out for that takes all of 10 minutes. They use the tiniest scope (with a light and camera on the end) a have a look down your esophagus to your stomach. They can see bends in your esophagus, polyps and anything else going on. If there’s a growth (likely a polyp) they’ll snip it right off! They’ll be filming it and you may even get some of the still photos to use in future books! It’s not a big deal, I promise! They’re done at Outpatient Surgical Centers and you go home a few hours later. Painless!

    My m-i-l and brother both had trouble swallowing after they hit about age 50. My brother used to get his throat stretched (long story, but also easy). My m-i-l’s esophagus developed a slight bend which interfered with her swallowing, but the only accomodation needed was cut large pills in half.

    Sending all the healthiest vibes! KathyOnOBX

  101. I have a lump i my throat that’s just a cyst filling up with fluid once in a while. Then they drain it and that’s it. So apparently throat-lumps are not always scary

  103. I had a similar situation (couldn’t feel a lump from the outside but could totally feel it on the inside when I swallowed and felt like my throat was closing up), had an upper-gi that indicated acid reflux and dr put me on meds for that for 3 months and it went away. Easy, peasy, maybe it’s something similar? Hope they figure it out soon or that it just goes away!

  104. Nothing is more exhausting than uncertainty. An answer, any answer, is so much easier to grapple with. I hope it solves itself. My doctor once told me that most of life’s illnesses resolve themselves. Our body’s are remarkably good at fixing themselves.

  105. It’s gonna be neurological.
    Cause EVERYTHING is fucking neurological.
    And you collect those

  106. I work with patients that need to have their throats/stomachs (and colons) scoped in the procedure room. If you have the EGD (throat scope), please request they do the procedure with the aid of anasthesia sedation and not just with moderate sedation. You will be so much more comfortable. Good luck!

  108. My husband something similar happen and it ended up being stress related. He had to quit doing anything that strained his neck and let, whatever the lump is, heal.

  109. I started having something similar when I approached menopause. Mine was nothing but “common globus sensation”, which means, you’re not ill or dying you just think you are.

  110. It could be one of your salivary glands. Or lymph gland. Or, as you say, a parisitic twin. My Mother’s cure all for almost everything was “gargle with warm salt water. “ Her other cure was apple cider vinegar but gargling with that is pretty harsh. All the best to you and your family in the upcoming new year. Sending you positive thoughts and prayers!

  112. Anxiety & panic attacks can cause this feeling of a lump in the throat, and sometimes makes you feel like you are choking.

  114. Silent Twin! That reminds me of that scene in the film, My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

    Not gonna play doctor. I’ll just say I get your concerns and appreciate your humor around scary, lumpy things found in the body! Hugs 🤗…

  115. “My dr. says that it might be anything or nothing” no kidding! how much did you have to pay that guy for his in depth analysis?

  116. I took my wife and we used my free birthday hamburger at Red Robin (in the last days it was available).

  117. Happy Birthday! I took care of myself today. A 1 hour Nia class and 1 hour yoga class. Both with my sister!

  119. So, I hope your neck lump is just a lump. I am really praying that you are not about to have the year I have had. I call 2018 my “Shit-filled Piñata” year. It was like every few weeks starting in January, someone came along with a stick and hit this piñata that rained a little bit more shit down on me. And we’re not talking usual shit. We’re talking major shit that literally involved the media in one case. For 2019, I WANT A NEW GODDAMN PIÑATA! I trust that your 2019 will not be a shit-filled piñata year and your lump will just be a nuisance that you can deal with on your own schedule. Sending prayers and hugs and a virtual piñata full of candy and money.

  120. I have a nodule on my throid, sticks out but not cancerous. I named him Harold because it’s like that great uncle who is always there at family gatherings but not much for conversation.

  121. Just another note sympathizing with the horrible frustration of not knowing and wishing you a speedy recovery. May the lump go away and never, never come back!

  122. I have a similar thing. (It’s so weird because we have a lot of similar maladies; I cried when I read about your miscarriage issue/blood disorder cuz I thought I was the only one 💙). The bump showed up a couple years ago. My daughter, who is an equine veterinarian (she rolls her eyes at hooman doctors, like, DUDE! One species and you can’t even handle that?! You can only handle a tiny body part so it takes ten doctors to handle one person?!), pretty much nailed the cause, immediately before I even saw a doc. Several weeks prior I was putting a big piece of cookware on a high shelf and I dropped it. It smashed into my collarbone. Thank goodness nothing was broken, but this lump showed up a while later. (Have you had an injury to the area?) It has something to do with white blood cells surrounding the injury. If the lump moves independently under the skin and is not attached to anything, and it doesn’t change color or size, I was told I shouldn’t worry about it. Perhaps we should just name them and make friends. Also, wear chunky necklaces…it diverts the eye. Hugs. ❤️

  123. Isn’t that the case when you worry about your health? Getting a clean bill of health on what you thought might be wrong just opens the door to all the other possibilities and kicks your hypochondria back into gear. Been there, and still sending you fun and silly vibes.

  124. you are SO me. everything is always breaking down, twisting, growing, shrinking. it has to be tested, physial therapied, taken out &/or medicinalized. it just fucking pisses me off….. especially when healthy people don’t get what kind of pain i am experiencing. oh well, at least i am thankful for the days without!
    this too shall pass – 1 way or another. and we will all be here to be grateful when it does; in the meantime, we get it. i’m sorry they haven’t figured it out for you yet.

  125. I am prone to a something that has the BEST NAME EVER: tonsilloliths. Easier way to say it is tonsil stone. Basically I’m one of the early kids who didn’t automatically get their tonsils removed …but I am one who would have benefitted.

    Tonsil stones are really unpleasant but not life-threatening. There are now permanent treatments other than removing tonsils — yay because that’s hard on adults–but so far I haven’t had to do more than cut down on allergy exposure and spray salty distilled water up my nose. (The nose-squirt I use is a modern variation of a neti pot — less cleaning, more batteries. My husband calls it my “NosePic”…all apologies to WaterPic.) Until I got used to it, it felt like jumping into a pool and forgetting to hold my nose.

    Anyway it’s worth asking about because there’s a noninvasive thing you can do to minimize it. And it’s a SILLY noninvasive thing.

  126. The odds are in your favor by a long shot that it’s a benign problem . Hang in there. Hope you had a somewhat worry-free and Happy Birthday.

  127. I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s body seems to be constantly turning on them. That sounds mean now that I read it but, hopefully you get my drift.

  128. The barium swallow test has you in awkward poses and I was somwhow the first to point out that I felt like George Constanza posing on a sofa.

    Best wishes for a harmless cyst like mine.

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How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

Beautiful Writers book: Writers! This coming-of-career memoir (w/ the BEST advice from celeb authors, real shit you haven’t heard) is life. A page-turning beach read doubling as how-to. #Magic

The Dating Days of Marta O: When I told my sister I was building a blog she said: “Do people still read blogs?” I do not know, but if YOU want to read it, here it is. Keep in mind, my stories about dating after 40 are for the brave.

CONNECTED: A Personal Journal for Ketamine Therapy Created by writer & patient Katherine Davis for this powerful clinical treatment. If considering ketamine for major depression, check out this essential tool.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: SO GOOD.

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