So yesterday I woke up to this:
Some of the hail was big as baseballs and now there are some holes in the side of my house and roof looks like crap but we’re safe and had a lot less damage than some of our neighbors.
When I was taking pictures of the damage I found this:
And I was very excited that I would be immortalized forever (or at least my nipples would be) because obviously I would name them after myself and whenever there was a freak storm people would be like, “Bring the cat in or she’ll be knocked out by Jenny Lawson’s Nipples!” but then scientists on twitter were like, “Those were already discovered” so that was disappointing. But the nice thing is that normally this would shatter my nerves and I was…kind of okay? So maybe it’s a sign that the TMS is working more than I thought.
Then Victor decided to run with the baseball theme and take advantage of me being able to leave the house so we took Hailey to her first baseball game. And it was lovely except that there was a taco there and I thought his head looked like a clitoris and Hailey was like, “WHAT. It’s clearly a hot dog.” And I was like, “Why would a hot dog be in a taco?” and she gave me a look like, “WHY WOULD A CLITORIS BE IN A TACO?” so I decided to ask the taco himself and he can’t talk but he mimed his flabbergastedness very well and for so long that a small child finally came up to comfort him. Then he gave Victor the “Go with God, my son” gesture which seemed an overreaction but maybe was kind of fair.
(Also, I assure you there were no small children around when I asked him about his clitoris, although technically I think it’s good for kids to be more aware of medical terms because even spellcheck has it underlined like, “What’s a ‘clitoris’? I don’t think that even exists.”
You’re part of the problem, spellcheck.
And as the sun set and the fireworks exploded I realized that maybe I’m going to be okay after all. And that I probably won’t be allowed back at the baseball game ever again.
********
And on an entirely different subject, it’s time for the Sunday wrap-up!
Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
Shit-you-may-or-may-not-want-to-see:
This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by The Seeker’s Dungeon. Guest writers are wanted for the new blogging event over at The Seeker’s Dungeon. You need not be a blogger, just have a story to tell. The new event, From Darkness to Light, is about sharing how you turned a trauma or tribulation into motivation in following your own life’s purpose. By sharing our stories we can inspire others while remembering that we are not alone. Add your voice!
Clearly it’s a taco.
You’re so good at finding things! If any bits of my fun zones go missing, I’ll put you on the case. But if you find it in a taco, I think we’ll just leave it there.
I am rewatching Agents of Shield, and now any time someone says “Hail, Hydra,” my brain will replace it with “Hail, Nipple.”
I gave my husband no context and asked what the mascot was and he said “A taco with arms? For some reason??” So there.
Thought you might be interested in this: Persephone Books in London — devoted mostly to overlooked works by female writers in the mid-1900s — celebrates its 20th anniversary this year. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/14/books/persephone-books-women-london.html
I mean, some people do call their lady garden a taco so I guess a clitoris belongs in a taco more than a hot dog…. then again, this whole thing is just full of sexual metaphors and I need a nap.
Some people refer to their lady garden as a taco so a clitoris would belong on a taco in that instance so score one for weird sexual metaphors.
Wait, is that Henry the Puffy Taco??????? Who races a kid around the bases at some point during the game? Spoiler alert: kid wins. I went to a minor league game in San Antonio years ago and was like WTF until someone explained, but it still didn’t really make sense. I ate Frito pie and drank beer though, so that was a win.
I can totally see that it’s a clitoris but nobody wants green stuff hanging out of there.
I’m a little traumatized by TacoClit. Remind me to stay away from baseball games. I’ll stick with hockey like a normal person.
I mean baseball and hot dogs do go hand in hand, but why would a hot dog have so much green stuff? Relish not the primary condiment on a hot dog. So clearly it’s a taco. With a clitoris.
Maybe it was a tomato chunk? Glad you were ok during the storm. Storm damage is usually covered by homeowner’s insurance. Hopefully you have the replacement value clause and not just the one that replaces at the current value of the damaged thing (roof, siding, etc.)
Jenny I absolutely love you and your work but I really think the reaching out post should be taken down. I added my name and a few days ago received a letter from a prisoner. When I posted on one of your fan groups on Facebook about the situation a few people mentioned that you had previously let fans know that u had found out prisoners were using comments on your blog to communicate. Had I known that i would not have participated. There is always a risk when putting your address online that it could be found by someone you don’t want to have it but most people who have been made aware that prisoners are using their site to communicate DO NOT ask people to use the same site to make penpals. I love you jenny for real but that post should be taken down for the safety of everyone!
(Hey there! People in prison can access blogs and I get letters from incarcerated people occasionally who want to reach out and thank me – mostly women – so I’m sure there are some reading here. I’ve done work with the incarcerated and they can be amazing people. That said, I have had two people who asked me to remove their address and I have. The inmates that were using my blog were a male and female prisoner at the same prison who were using the comment section of an old blog post to stay in touch with each other a year or two ago. That’s not really kosher because prisoners aren’t allowed to contact other prisoners so I stopped it the same day it started. I’m still getting so much positive feedback on that post even today from people sending notes to others so I don’t want to remove it but I will happily remove anyone who wants their address pulled. It’s really just for small encouraging notes…not penpals. Thanks so much for letting me know. 🙂 ~ Jenny)
It’s clearly a clitoris, because the green part are the labia minora. Come on people. Put your glasses on!
I’m not a huge baseball fan, so I’d see the ability to question the flabbergasted clitoris taco as a pretty good incentive to sit through a game.
Glad you’re feeling better.
It’s a conspiracy. When that storm was in SoCal, it knocked the city tree over. Onto my car. In my driveway.
You should have been to the hot air balloon meet I was at many years ago. One of the sponsors of the event was a fertility clinic and THEIR mascots were a spermatozoon that was chasing an egg through the crowd of families with their innocent children.
“What’s that, Daddy?”
“Ummm … a tadpole. He’s chasing a … well … go ask your mother.”
You crack me up! Glad you all survived the storm!
If this were in Chicago, I’d say hot dog because they put tomatoes and a whole lot of unnecessary greenage on their dogs. I’m voting clitoris taco, which is also going to be the name of my next band.
There is an audio version of the ketamine thread being read by the author on The Reducer podcast. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-15-in-room-president-ireland-on-ketamine-reading/id1329526094?i=1000410699099. From 5:50- 15:50.
My husband’s not a sports fan, but I bet I can get him to go to a game if I tell him there’s tacos with clitorises there! (clitorii? clitoria?)
Yep, looks like a clit to me.
Of course… Remember the Jack in the Box styrofoam heads people put on their car antennae? They had a commercial for one wearing a hat, with a pink ball sticking out of its mouth.
In all seriousness and confusion, I turned to my husband and adked, “Why is Jack wearing a ball gag?”
The hat was a baseball cap, and Jack was blowing a bubblegum bubble.
Oh.
DOOD. Flabbergasted clitoris at a baseball game is definitely a win. Now I want a hot dog taco. However, I don’t want to put on pants so I’m going to bed. Tacodog can wait. I started reading this post with something completely different in mind, because my current idea of progress is painting ANYTHING on one of about six projects that I hope to finish in 100 days. I FINISHED ONE. So yay both of us!
The ketamine story has me screaming.
That’s really cool looking hail Jenny
Honestly he doesn’t look like a taco so it’s not your fault. I was considering moving to San Antonio but that hail is scary but I guess so are earthquakes to most people
For what it’s worth… My husband and I call my too-short shorts my “shorts taco” so I think finding a clitoris in a taco is perfectly reasonable.
That’s totally a clitoris, but a Fancy Clitoris with all that green fluffery around it. And it’s only fair that you told the person IN the Fancy Clitoris costume so maybe they will complain to the boss and get Hazard Pay from now on. Good job.
It looks more like a “red rocket” to me, like the costume is simply a golden retriever penis with arms, but that would just be weird at a ball game. ‘Only at a ball game?’ I hear you ask…
Haul nipple. Hot dog clitoris. My day is made.
At least you gave the employee who plays Clitoris Taco a great story to tell about that one awful job they had. They’ll be a hilarious at their next dinner party all thanks to you and what is obviously a clitoris hiding in a bed of lettuce.
As soon as I saw the picture, I asked myself, “Why is there a vulva at the baseball game?”
Glad y’all weathered the storm okay (pun possibly intended). It hit us a few hours after it hit your area…such crazy weather.
Thrilled you’re feeling settled enough to venture out, such a huge step, even if it was accompanied by a clitoris looking taco that was trying to disguise itself as a hotdog.
Not sure I’ll ever look at either food the same again.
I agree it does look like a taco…with a clitoris.
Well THAT explains why my layover in the Dallas airport turned into a twelve-hour camping trip (the hailstorm, not the Taco Clit. Though he would have been a welcome addition to the shantytown that formed in our terminal. Certainly would have cheered me up.)
I’ve now read all the comments on tacos with clitorises and I got nuthin’. Other than oooooouuuuhhh why is it puffy? https://possumscatsthingsgnawingatme.wordpress.com/2019/04/13/blue-jay/
Some days I wish that WordPress had a “LOVE” option just for your blog….because sometimes it’s the only thing I laugh at in a day
Wait wait wait, Hailey’s first baseball game?! Oh man, I’d been to at least 20 by the time I was her age. Though I lived in San Diego and my mom knew most of the players so maybe that has something to do with it. I’m assuming that red thing on the taco-guy is a tomato but that really, really does not look like a tomato at all. Like, at least the green stuff is wavy and sorta-kinda looks like lettuce.
Looks like an ice flower to me. Just glad you weren’t hit in the head by one!
Henry the Puffy Taco is awesome!
Anyone read the book “The Inflamed Mind—A Radical New Approach to Depression” by Edward Bullmore? Intriguing ideas about immune system and brain. Apparently there’s a significant connection between inflammation levels and depression. He focuses at one point on the correlation between rheumatoid arthritis and depression. I’m eager to see if any new treatments emerge from this research.
I’m starting week 2 of rTMS today and I’m terrified it’s not going to work on my drug-resistant depression. Also have osteoarthritis and am having knee replacement surgery on June 4. And my psychiatrist is taking me off Xanax now because it doesn’t play well with the post-surgery pain meds. I’m a crumpled heap most of the time but I can’t retire yet so I’m still working. I’m so scared right now. Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.
(It really helped my anxiety so I’m sending you luck that it helps you too. ~ Jenny)
^^^Maybe I should check out this book. I have osteoarthritis and drug resistant depression and I’m starting week 2 of rTMS today. I’m terrified it won’t work. I’m getting knee replacement surgery on June 4 and my psychiatrist is weaning me off anxiety meds now because they don’t play well with the surgery pain meds. I’m telecommuting until surgery but I can’t seem to work a full day anymore. It’s all so scary.
@ Julie_H #41 & #42 – I’m not a doctor! But maybe ask your doctor if you could have your Xanax back if you used a post-surgery chiller for your knee instead of opiates? I know “use ice water instead of narcotics” sounds crazy, but it worked really well for me after my shoulder surgery and wrist surgery. https://www.sourceortho.net/iceman-classic-cold-therapy-unit/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIj7j36MfS4QIV2FqGCh1EcwtlEAQYAiABEgLOgfD_BwE
Jenny, someone left this review for Furiously Happy on GoodReads and I need you to see it because it’s mindblowingly accurate:
“Like, I know depression is like totally a literal thing that feels like someone throat punched you right in the knee with a kitten fisted mitten. Also then stabbed you with a pen right after and I mean serves that asshole right for being a tiny ninja zombie baby from the Internet. Like omg, literally, right? I mean here’s an awesome quote I made up about parsley and soup and lady parts. Hedgehog, goat, ferret, armadillo, baby. Right? I mean I love psychiatric hospitals for pain killers I was yelling so loud at the doctor. Glitter and unicorns made me faint.
There you go, you read the book. I just saved you like literally 1000 hours. You’re welcome!
P.S. Siri and autocorrect helped me write this whole book on my iPhone.”
Obviously, your book has gotten outstandingly good reviews and we make up the small ~5% that just didn’t enjoy it, but just hear me out as someone who suffers from bipolar II – I was really, really looking forward to using the content of your book as inspiration for my NAMI talks because I like to inject humor into my descriptions of mental illness. I extracted absolutely nothing from your book save from the intro. Why did you decide to write a book supposedly about mental illness when the majority of the content doesn’t touch this? It was so utterly disappointing for an audience member who you supposedly are targeting, and this person’s review is so spot-on that I hope you can understand where he is coming from. You have an extremely “millennial” sense of humor, which is fine, but was so inappropriate for your book when you so unsuccessfully wove it into the topic of mental illness.
(Dude. Did you come here to paste a bad review on my blog and tell me why you don’t like me either on a post I wrote about dealing with depression? I mean…what.
I’m sorry you didn’t like my book. It’s not for everyone. ~ Jenny)
When I was six we moved from Ohio to Texas. Very shortly after our arrival there was a hellacious hailstorm that dented the heck out our car. Fortunately my parents wanted a car that didn’t have vinyl seats anyway…new car acquired shortly thereafter.
And it’s totally a clitoris. Totally.
This just found. Looks like it is right up your alley.
https://geekologie.com/2019/04/oh-wow-a-taxidermy-mouse-chess-set.php
Dear Jenny….
First and foremost….thank you. I know I am very late to the party but that’s one of the signatures of my life. I recently stumbled on Furiously Happy in a tiny bookstore in Oakland, MD. I am a 70 year old man and although much of your writing seems to be about women, let me tell you that it resonated with me and for the first time in those 70 years I believe I understand a few things. My mother and grandmother were flat out crazy. They believed that the entire world was created to service their needs and boy were they needy. My father and grandfather became expert at simply hiding and disappearing. From the time I was a young teen when my mother went berserk and went off screaming to her room it was up to me to talk her down. I quickly picked up on what was my job in life….I was supposed to be the sane one who kept everything together for everyone. And I have done that for 60+ years. And let me tell you… that is a fucking lot of work.
I did the sane one bit though my youth and then through 2+ marriages (I’m on the + part now). And it mostly worked but the price I paid was enormous. I basically have stifled my emotions. To keep everything together I seldom feel much of anything. I have known this for a long time but it didn’t know why. Somehow reading your book made it click for me. I want to be furiously happy for once in my life even if I have to pay the price on the downside.
I won’t bore you further but once again thank you so very much.
Glenn Mackles
Okay, so the ice nipple and hail somehow made me think, “Is this what would happen if Elsa from frozen were lactating, and then by some freak accident, also lost her nipple?” Sorry, forgot to take the crazy meds today. 🙂
Jesus, Leann, fuck right off, will ya?
Dearest Bloggess,
There are so many of us out here who love you and your “millennial” sense of humor and your ability to find the absurdities of the world and share them with us all! Thank you for sharing your journey with us, and especially for being open and honest about your struggles, but thank you most of all for always sharing the most inappropriate things which have been hiding in plain sight. You are a light in what can often be a dark world.
This is in response to Leann:
Obviously, Jenny’s books are about HER experience dealing with mental illness. She doesn’t claim her experience to be universal. If you want to right about your experience, no one is stopping you. Have at it.
Also, millennials are not a hive-mind. Not every thought and experience and certainly not sense of humor is shared across our entire generation. And even if that WERE the case, it wouldn’t invalidate an individual’s experiences.
Jenny didn’t write the book for you. She wrote it for her. Get over yourself.
Dear Jenny,
Haters gonna hate. How dare you write a book that Leann couldn’t use? I rolled my eyes so hard at her comment that I can now describe the inside back of my skull. It needs dusting. Mellisa (#48) nailed it. xo
LeAnn—The fact that you work in mental health disturbs me the most. You come to Jenny’s bog just to criticize her? Who does that? Trolls. That’s who. Her book isn’t for everyone, especially those who lack empathy and a sense of humor like you apparently do.
Jenny—You know we love you! Ignore this attention seeking troll. ❤️
Dear Leann – You seem to be struggling with your own issues, outsized expectations and lack of self-restraint. Many here have found enormous comfort, delight and joy in Jenny’s writings. If you did not, that is okay. However, to deliberately target her with your nasty post is not okay. This wasn’t a review. It was a loud, wet, smelly turd you threw at the wall during someone else’s party. Next time, rant in your journal. Talk to your friends or your therapist. Don’t shit on someone else because of your own problems and issues.
Dear shitty person upthread,
Go be shitty somewhere else please. I’m sorry you couldn’t gank Jenny’s material for your NAMI (whatever that is) talk. And a “millennial” sense of humor? What is THAT, pray tell?
I don’t often tell people to kindly fuck right off, but please do so in the most expedient manner possible.
Trek
Leann – Seriously – what did you hope to accomplish with your comment other than to make Jenny feel bad? As someone dealing with mental health issues, you should know better. Shame on you! Please do not ever give advice to anyone ever. Never. Nobody. Nowhere.
Jenny,
I was in the middle of a divorce right about the time that you acquired Beyonce! I think I actually peed myself when I read that post. It literally became the litmus test when I went back out into the dating world. If I liked a man and he didn’t laugh his ass off when he read it, he was kicked to the curb. I am remarried to a man who not only laughed, but embraced Beyonce and we have metal chickens in our house to prove it.
I am a mental health professional and, unlike the person who posted that crap review, I applaud your courage and your ability to maintain a kick-ass sense of humor throughout your struggles. I go back and forth between wanting to be your best friend and wanting to be your therapist!! Instead, I will settle for being a loyal follower, a member of the Double Unicorn Success Club, and a future bookstore visitor since I now live in Texas!
Jenny-
As a bipolar 1, I read all your books with the mind that they were your experience. Not because I expected them to be about my experience. Anyhow, ignore Leanne. I read all your books, and have enjoyed them immensely.
Now, when it comes to ME personally, Jenny, you and your tribe has made sure my children have had a Merry Christmas when I haven’t been able to provide for them. YOU, in your comments to me, on my posts, during said Christmases, have made me cry, because someone heard me, and cared. I unfortunately went from one abusive husband to another, and am stuck in a situation I know not how to get out of at the moment, and you and your tribe commented in ways that touched my heart and soul, and made me feel less alone than I do on a daily basis.
I added my name to the reach out post. Even though I live in England, and wasn’t sure if anyone would reach out. I get something in the mail almost daily. One person put £10 in with their card. They don’t live in the UK. The card came from the states. This person put effort into putting money into the card. If that person is reading now, you don’t know how much that meant to me. I didn’t say it in my reaching out comment, but I did in my Christmas one, I am stuck in an abusive, mentally, relationship, and that abuse includes financial abuse. I cannot spend a dime that is not explained, and every dime I spend has to be on the kids, the household, be it food or cleaning supplies, etc. My mom used to give me money when I was pregnant, because he would get mad at me eating when I was pregnant, well, more that the twin pregnancy made most foods inedible to me, causing me to throw up, and there was very little I could eat that stayed down, and the babies wanted. He decided me eating my cravings was me eating better than him, which pissed him off. Besides, he didn’t want me getting fat. He was thrilled he could still reach around me completely when I delivered at 29 weeks. (The abuse got worse, much worse, after the twins were born. I can’t leave, because I can’t take the twins out of the country without his permission. Him and his family would put every dime they have/had into preventing it. They’ve called social services on me already trying to call my parenting into question, possibly guessing I want to escape. Luckily, these calls brought into attention the abuse, to the point they call my mil abusive as well. We are working on my escape, I just need enough “proof”. Got some really good proof the other day when he said he couldn’t be alone with our two year old twins, something he’s never done, been alone with them, until last week when my mom came to town and my mil had the twins while my older two, my mom, and I went to London. My mil dropped the twins off with him 2 hours before we got home. He admitted, in front of my mom, that he couldn’t handle them and had almost hurt one of them. He has an appointment to visit the GP about anger management and CBT because it scared him. He only sees physical abuse as abuse) My mom cut off the funds trying to make my husband man up after the twins were born. Anyhow, this £10, well, I’ll be honest, my first, brainwashed response, was to buy groceries or something for the kids. To buy a necessity. Instead, I sat at the coffee house while my mil had the kids, and I had coffee. And a breakfast I didn’t make. And I sat there, in the restaurant, eating unmolested, with a book. Just enjoying myself. I honestly cannot tell you the last time I did that. No, wait, I can. I was 6 weeks pregnant, had just discovered my pregnancy, was sure I’d lose it, as I’ve lost 6, the week before I found out it was twins, waiting in a pub for both my husband and a GP appointment to discuss the fact that my GP the previous day had cut me off my bipolar and pain meds cold turkey when I came in asking for a midwife referral. Which could have caused a miscarriage plus other serious issues. So I had seen my mental health worker, who scheduled me in with a different GP to get it fixed that day. So, my husband told me to sit at the pub and nurse a water for 2 hours. I hadn’t eaten all day. I was sicker than a dog, due to the pregnancy. Foreshadowing, lol. So I ordered a steak and chips, which would give me protein, and well, for the next 23 weeks, steak was the item that stayed down the best. Anyhow, when he arrived at the pub and I asked him to pay for it, as I wasn’t allowed money to myself, he was furious. And that started the money from mom. That was the last time I read and ate by myself in pleasure. So you gave something to me that I have missed so much. And I didn’t realize how much until that day. So thank you so much.
So Jenny. Know that there are those that will behave like Leanne. Who for some reason think they need you to share in their negativity by trying to bring you down. But the reality is, there are many more like me, where their lives have been improved by knowing you and your tribe. Who are proud to know you and be a part of your tribe.
I love you, and all those you have inspired. You have literally changed my life for the better. And I know I’m not alone.
And to the reader who sent a stranger in Herne Bay, UK £10, thank you so much. You made my spring start out so much brighter.
LeAnn: Have you ever heard of the concept of: if you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing? What was your point? That you don’t like Jenny’s books? Ohkay, then here’s a concept: Don’t read them and don’t recommend them to your group. There are writers out there for everyone. Still can’t find one you like? Write your own (and see how many they connect with in comparison to Jenny’s). You’re representing yourself as part of the National Alliance of Mental Illness by coming in to someone’s personal (though public) blog and ridiculing her own experience and her own way of expressing it? Is this something NAMI endorses? I think I will contact them and ask if intolerance, negativity and bullying are part of their platform. Your repaste of a negative review, with your own negative reinforcement has no constructive criticism in it. It served no purpose except to prop your own small ego up at the expense of someone else. No one asked your opinion on Jenny’s books. Get your own blog and write a review on it. Show some common decency.
I’m pissed at this. There is already so much needless hate flying around. Life is hard enough without people just for no reason kicking up shit.
Jenny: This 60 yr-old gets your so-called millennial humor. As a casual question over the decades people would sometimes ask of others, “Who is your hero?” I never had heroes growing up. Up until about three years ago I would say “I dunno.” Then I could answer it: Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess, and here’s why…
Some of us hold onto cutting words more than kind words, for whatever reason. Jenny, you are loved and admired, and have provided a sense of community. You inspire. Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke (or a book, or an armadillo…)
Hi Leann from comment #43!
TL;DR but you’re a cunt. Please retire from the mental health field because you have A LOT to work on before you can help others.
Jenny – I love you.
Long time reader, first time commenter.
It’s Henry the Puffy Taco! I have never thought about his head looking like a clitoris- I cannot unsee this now. Lol
And I am not understanding this Leann person…. the last I checked, your book is considered a memoir or autobiography, right? Or even under Humor, depending on the bookstore? You have never once presented yourself as an expert of mental illness- you are an expert on your experience of mental illness, which is what your books are about.
It’s easy for me/us to say to let the haters hate, but it doesn’t take away the sting. Do know that you have far more people who love and care about you and that Leann is full of nonsense on this issue.
“I was really, really looking forward to using the content of your book as inspiration for my NAMI talks because I like to inject humor into my descriptions of mental illness.”
So LeAnn is mad that she can’t plagiarize you. Write you own content, LeAnn
Oh man….I refuse to name the offending poster (you know who it is), but what the actual hell? I don’t think they read the book if they failed to see that mental illness is completely the point of your stories and experiences. I, for one, would refer that person to the DM 5 if they are keen on a technical explanation and not a first hand, real world example. Also, “millennial” humor? What does that even mean? You aren’t a millennial. I’m not even sure I know what that word actually refers to, and I think I fall in the millennial category.
Soooooooooo, eff off to that person. You are awesome. Check out all these wonderful people in your corner (Julie Andrews Sound of Music hand wave and twirl).
oh dear Leann. You have angered the tribe. This will not go well for you. Jenny – I have written before. You have saved my children and me many times. I have looked into the darkness of my depression and was able to hang on with your wisdom and vision.
Dear Leann: I’d like to review your comment, as a person who suffers from depression and generalized anxiety disorder. I LOVED Jenny’s book. I related to it so hard. It made me laugh, and see the uniqueness I have and the joy that I can experience, even when things are dark and dismal. It reminds me that depression lies, and that I can find joy and humour even when everything seems to suck ass. Sorry you didn’t like the book. Nobody’s going to rewrite it to suit you. Maybe you should write your own book and target humourless insensitive dicks, like yourself. Just a suggestion. Huggles and have a lovely day, you entitled sanctimonious asshat. Also? Pound sand.
Oh, Leann. Bless your heart.
Jenny, ignore the haters. This person clearly 1) has no manners and 2) doesn’t understand the basic difference between an autobiography/memoir and a science book/academic journal. I loved your book. And your other book. And your coloring book. And your blog. Keep on telling YOUR story and don’t let anyone put you in a corner.
To commentor #43: There are millions of books in the world. If you don’t like one, simply move on to the next one. No need to hide behind the anonymity of the internet to be hateful and bash people because you couldn’t plagiarize a book that is ONE person’s personal experience. A book, which by the way, clearly says MEMOIR on the cover. In case you’re not familiar with a dictionary, memoir is defined as “an account of one’s personal life and experiences; an autobiography.”
That fun killer should hop on into her douche canoe and row row row the fuck away. She doesn’t get that we only like attention whores who enjoy sharing their completely ridiculous lives and horrifying and hilarious moments, not ones who get the attention by putting others down.
Jenny,
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your journey. It helps me feel less alone. I’m sorry you have to endure insensitive a$$holes… just know that I understand and appreciate everything you do (including the risks you take) to help those of us struggling with mental illness feel connected and cared for. Stay on your path and keep moving forward. You ROCK.
Rebecca
So many things… where to start.
First: Leann – if you do actually work with people with mental illnesses then you should know that negative comments are not exactly helpful. Is this what you do with your patients? They tell you about something they wrote, built, created, or a project at work and if it didn’t meet your “guidelines” you criticize the work and make them feel even worse about themselves. Great job.
Second: Jenny is NOT a millennial. If you ACTUALLY read her books you would realize that she is actually a Gen Xer. And our Gen Xer sense of humor is awesome!!!
Third: To Kris in comment #57 – oh sweetie! My heart aches for you. If I was in England I would come find you, give you a big hug, and use all my power to get you away from that arse of a husband. I’m so glad you used that tenner to treat yourself – and I bless the person that sent it to you. Please find help to get you in a safe space where you can take care of yourself and your kids. It will be so tough to get away, but it is the best thing you can do your all of you. That arse could have harmed your kids by not letting you eat what you needed during your pregnancy. And if he can’t be with his own kids for 2 hours, then what good is he?? Get away! You are in my prayers and I hope you have friends and family that can help you.
Fourth: Jenny you are the most awesomest person!!! You have the courage to write about your mental illness(es) and by doing that you help out so many people around the world. I received so many notes from fellow readers all hoping that I am doing the best for myself and I know that I am not alone. Your reach out campaign happened at just the right time in my life (work is pretty shitty right now) and I really needed to know that I can get through this. I also hope that the cards I sent out helped other people know they are not alone either. Keep doing what you are doing Jenny!!
Hugs to everyone in Bloggess land!! Especially to anatomy mascots – where ever you may be!
Dear Leann,
Who hurt you? Did you really think coming here to be a twatwaffle to Jenny ON HER BLOG, ABOUT HER BOOK, would make you feel better? So, now that her followers read how cuntastic you are, do ya feel better? Do ya? Bless your heart. And I mean that in the most southern way possible.
Jenny- you’re loved. You help people more than you know.
Please note that Leann does not claim to be a mental health professional (as we all hope to God she is not). She only mentions “NAMI talks”–that could refer to support groups or other settings where people living with mental illness may be asked to speak. (Not that posting gratuitous nastiness to an author’s blog is a symptom of bipolar disorder, but you get my point.)
Jenny, let’s pretend this never happened and let’s continue being furiously happy. Your books & your humor reach the hearts of many, don’t let one negative nelly bring you down. We adore you and thank you for the joy your books bring!
Dear Leann,
Here is a review that sums up exactly why I didn’t like your comment.
“Hi my name’s Leann and I’m mostly angry at not being able to rip off Jenny’s writing for my super-important NAMI talk (also, check me out: I give NAMI talks – Google that shit right up!). It’s true, I don’t really have a sense of humor of my own that others can relate to, but I find that people coming to hear me speak don’t always relate to the way I like to cut others down rather than working on my own issues. So it was super disappointing. And even though Jenny’s of Gen X, I’m going to call her a Millenial because I think that will come off like a thinly-veiled insult. So instead of actually considering the many people who benefit from all that Jenny has to share, I’m going to cut and paste a negative review from some idiot on GoodReads on the one place that is a safe haven for Jenny and her readers, which is sure to rile up a ton of people. Because after all, I’m a troll at heart.”
So in short, I may be among the <100% of Bloggess fans who didn’t care for your review. BUT I would like to suggest that the next time you want to be mean, please don’t disguise it as constructive criticism. We can see the real, sad you through your real sad words.
Jenny, The reason I read your books and blog is because they are funny, not because they cover mental illness. They cover problems and we all have them. I like them because you find humor and compassion in the crazy, unfortunate, and unexpected things that happen to you. It helps me to see the humor in the things that happen in my life and see life differently. When my world seems too crazy, stressful, and sad, then I start looking for your blog or your book. Keep on keeping on.
If comment #43 is the poison, then comment #46 is the antidote. It was a lovely tribute and I prefer to focus more on that one and the many others like it <3
Longtime lurker here…
Leann, why be mean? If I do not like a book, I do not go find the author and show them a mean-spirited review and then proceed to agree with it in a way that is not nice, or helpful. What is the point of that? To try to shame her? Her book is not a textbook about mental illness, it is her story and her experiences in her life. One that I related to quite a bit and love dearly, by the way, Jenny.
So, I know it’s spring and the birds and bees are all doing it, but it looks to me like that hot dog bun is about to release some pollen. There might be lots of little hot dog buns sprouting up near the stadium. Better alert the maintenance crew so they can put up deer fencing around the hot dog bunlings. Baby deer are not actually like Bambi. We have trouble here when the baby deer get into the donut patch. We have to replant again with carefully saved donut seeds (sometimes called donut holes, or little sugar nuts).
“parsley and soup and lady parts. Hedgehog, goat, ferret, armadillo, baby…. Glitter and unicorns…” she literally just listed every reason I WOULD buy the book. I love your sense of humor Jenny!
Another for Leann…
Not all books appeal to everyone. Comedy is especially tricky. . I’m one of the few who don’t like Monty Python & Airplane & physical comedy, but I don’t write to the creators saying to stop doing slapstick.
I love Shakespeare, but the ass jokes in Midsummer Night’s Dream got old fast.
I’d also point out that it’s rare to get to see inside the thought processes of someone in such detail — let alone someone who is not neurotypical.
It’s very much stream of consciousness but for the author herself not an invented character. Think about it.
Thank you so much for this. I have been having a rough couple of weeks and I laughed more than was probably appropriate at this post.
Also, there is a reason a nickname for female genitalia is taco. . .
Whatever. I’m still going to shout about your nipples whenever it hails. We’ll make it a thing. Screw you, scientists!
To Alena from comment #69-
This is Kris from comment #57. Thank you. We are working on escape. I’ve got to get passports, which require his permission, and since he’s unaware we are trying to escape, he’s willing to give. Hopefully we will have them by the end of next month. Today was a day when we all got yelled at, over and over, for no reason, which upped my desire to escape. I swear, I just tell people now, if you are marrying a non- American,and going to their country, make sure you learn their custody and divorce laws. In the UK, where we are, you have to prove adultery, abandonment, or abuse in order to get divorced. You can guess how hard proving emotional abuse is. If you can’t prove it, but you want a divorce, if you both agree you want the divorce, you have to live apart for 2 years, and then you can file for divorce. If one person doesn’t agree to the divorce, then you have to live apart for 5 years before you can file for divorce. So even though the abuse is obvious when I talk about it, and there is SO much wrong and so much abuse, it’s hard to prove, so hopefully that explains why I’m so stuck, when it’s so much easier to escape a situation like this if you live in the states. Add in being alone, everyone lives in the states that are important to me (my mom wants me to escape, but stay in the UK for the benefits, which feels so hard, then I’m even more alone. As bad as my husband and his family are, it’s still something) anyhow, it’s a lot harder to get out. Social services is involved, and agree my husband and his family are abusive, they’ve been involved since our 12 weeks in NICU, but even they agree, I don’t have easy proof, which is needed. But the fact that the NICU reported me as an abused wife, it will help.
Anyhow, I read your comment over and over, and am holding it close to my heart. I wanted to be sure you knew I saw the comment. <3 thank you.
(You are so brave. Keep fighting. You will get through this. ~ Jenny)
Pure green ketamine gold. I even roped my husband into enjoying this post.
To Kris: If only I could get you to Canada. After living here a year, you can apply for a divorce. And by that time, you would qualify for a divorce (one year separation); the Court doesn’t give a toss whether or not he agrees. We have health care coverage and a social safety net. Have your mother check on the requirement for jurisdiction for divorce in her state. Many states have a similar residency requirement to obtain a divorce, even if it was a foreign marriage. Once you do get stateside, find a lawyer who deals with people in abusive situations ASAP. You’ll want to get advice on starting proceedings before your husband can start proceedings in the U.K., locking you in to U.K. jurisdiction.
The best advice I can give you from a professional is that if you get yelled at on a regular basis, record this. Regularly carry your cell phone (if you are allowed to have one) around in your pocket on record- likely you have an idea now what might trigger him and may have time to turn it on shortly before the abuse errupts. Have someone you trust (e.g. from social services) help you create a cloud account and upload any recordings immediately or an outside e-mail account to send the recordings. Don’t leave anything on your phone. If your husband regularly checks your phone, have someone help you figure out how to delet such activity from your phone before you even try recording anything. Hopefully your husband is not tech savvy. (or actually less savvy than he thinks he is) Don’t access (i.e. review) anything on your phone- cloud account or outside e-mail. Only use your phone to record and send out recordings.
See if someone from a women’s shelter can connect you with a lawyer in the U.K. who regularly assists woment in abusive situations. They should help you determine how to collect your evidence (U.K. laws differ from Canadian laws; as you’ve seen with U.S. laws) in case your case must be heard in the U.K.. Hopefully collecting evidence this way doesn’t contravene any U.K. evidence/privacy laws (it doesn’t in Canada). My best to you and your kids.
Totally a clitoris.