Name that…um…thingie.

in Random Crap

Okay, so I asked you to help me name my taxidermied alpaca/llama and you did not disappoint.  Also, you can’t tell if it’s an alpaca or llama either so we’ll just say it’s both.

Also, my new favorite thing is when delivery people ring my door I answer holding my alpacallama and I pretend it’s struggling in my arms and yell, “THANK YOU! I CAN’T ANSWER THE DOOR BECAUSE THIS NEW DOG IS BITEY SO FEEL FREE TO FAKE MY SIGNATURE IF YOU NEED TO” and they sort of stare at me until I walk away and then I can rest easy knowing that I’ve given them a story to tell anyone who would believe it.

Here are the most popular suggestions.  Make your vote below:

And on another note, we’re going into day 10? 11? of self-isolation and at this point even us introverts are feeling a bit alone and I’m pretty sure you need to check on your extrovert friends because they are not okay, so today on twitter let’s be friends.  Just post a tweet introducing yourself if you want to be friends.  (Example:  My name is Jenny.  I’m a writer.  I like cat memes, zombie movies and vodka.  I like misfits and true crime.  The genre, I mean.  Not the *actual* crime.  That would be weird.  #bloggessfam)  Make sure you use the #bloggessfam (not #bloggessfaN) hashtag so we can find each other easily.  Then you can follow people and engage and maybe feel a little less alone.

(In the past we’ve opened up address sharing for pen pals and that was AMAZING but I know there are concerns about overloading our mail carriers so we will do that again soon but maybe not today.  If you really want to share your email you totally can in the comments but personally I’d recommend making a new account for that in case someone grabs them for spam or other bullshit.)

You maybe can’t feel it but I’m hugging you all.

104 thoughts on “Name that…um…thingie.”

Read comments below or add one.

  3. Speaking of the pen pal thing, I’m still getting cards. It’s awesome.

  6. Not on social media, but hugs to everybody out there. And especially to you Jenny. Hang in there, we’ll get through this somehow.

  7. Hi Jenny – thank you so much for brightening my day! I am an “essential” staff member at my “essential” business so working way too hard while the non-essentials “work” from home. I need all the laughter i can get!

  8. Great names all, but Fleece Witherspoon is clearly a female whatever she is! Thanks for your posts. I read every single one and frequently laugh out loud at my desk. My husband has to wonder what I am doing down the hall!

  9. Pingback: Wednesday Share Day - March 24, 2020 - Together We Can Heal

  11. My kid and I both love the idea of Barack O’Llama!! Thanks for letting us help 🙂

  14. I think it should be Hedley Llamarr, after the Harvey Korman character in Blazing Saddles.

  16. I loved the pen pal thing, it has so helped. Right now having anxiety issues. Have a crappy immune system and Belgium has been on lockdown a week but my isolation has been 2 weeks. Two weeks with the hubby and dog gets long since my dog thinks it’s awesome that dad is home and keeps staying by him, little traitor. Need to start crafting to stay sane I think.

  17. That is an amazing list of good choices….but how did Edie Falcor not make the list?!? It’s a travesty!

  24. For those with cabin fever I’m enjoying traveling without leaving the house. Go to Travelzoo.com
    & check out ‘20 Amazing Places You Can Visit Without Leaving Home’. Places like the MOMA,
    The British Museum, The Taj Mahal, San Diego Zoo, Volcano National Park, etc.

  25. These are all great — just a note: Wooly Nelson kicks butt, but really should be spelled “Woolie Nelson”

  26. In light of the current situation, I voted for Alpacalypse, but Heddy Llamar is awesome. I read a book about Hedy Lamarr, and she was SO much more than an actress. She helped invent what would eventually become secure Wi-Fi (frequency-hopping spread spectrum), so she was kinda amazing. Maybe I need to change my vote. I think I’d rather remember that when I look at the…”thingy”… than the Alpacalypse. Hummmmmm

  27. Camelids like llamas and alpacas (and I have a friend who had both, so I know from sight that you have an alpaca) have FLEECE, not WOOL, so Virginia WOOLf is a definite non-starter.

  31. I recommended Falkor on Facebook, but Fleece Witherspoon cannot be ignored. It’s perfect!

    I also still receive an occasional card in the mail and the randomness brings a huge smile to my face every time. I have an entire stack that I read through when I need a bit of encouragement.

  32. I really think you need two more of them so that you can name them Rama, Llama, and Ding Dong.

  33. There are sooo many really good names here. I just want to vote for them all! But…I suppose that would invalidate the results. Probably not what the intent was.

    I’m really bad at decisions.

    E

  34. Fleece Witherspoon works because if you introduce it as Al Pacaccino some know-it-all will invariably tell you it’s a llama. And they will be itching for a fight. (Though I’m pretty sure it’s an alpaca.)

    Also I agree with the other most excellent Melissa who posted earlier. It definitely looks like a girl.

  36. Aw, I love this time of year. 😁❤️ The first time you did this, what, 4 years ago? 5 years ago? I don’t know, but it was great. I found my “pocket squad” and am still connected on Twitter under anonymous handles (tho we have since learned real names) and some people have even connected with me on Facebook. Real names and everything. 😊 Anyway let’s start with Twitter. MyBleedingInk2
    Note the 2 at the end. It’s a locked account, used only for Bloggess people and topics. Looking forward to meeting some new people. 😊

  37. Oh! How did o miss the original post?!? I am a bit of an alpaca expert and I am happy to inform you that THAT is an ALPACA! Llamas have banana shaped ears, those are alpaca ears. I love it!

  39. So many great names. I have this obsession with alpacas and ask for one every Christmas. We have a tiny yard, so it obviously needs to be an indoor Alpaca. Easy way to tell between llamas and alpacas is to look at their ears. If they look like bananas, it’s a llama. Also alpacas are smaller and fit perfectly inside a house.

  40. Hi Jenny! Thank you for the hug; it’s much needed. I’m re-reading your first book and it’s been super helpful. Laughter will get us through this! ((Hugs)) to you, too!

  41. The names are great. Problem for me is I don’t think it is a llama or an alpaca. I just spent some time on Google looking at Camelids and viewing photos of babies of the different animals. I think you have a baby vicuna or possibly a guanaco though my money would be on a vicuna. Doesn’t mean you should redo the names (unless of course you want to). It’s a wonderful beast no matter what.

  42. I think she looks like a girl, so I hope a girl name wins, but all of the choices were wonderful!

  43. Hi. I’m Lana, a retired Paralegal. I like laughter, family, friends, dogs (have 1), horses (don’t have), crisp weather, winter snow scenes, travel, coffee, wine, sweet and/or salty snacks, some research, and books!

  44. Oh my gosh, so many clever names!!!
    Also, I think we can all appreciate how extroverts feel—for once, this is OUR world, and they’re living in it. Weird how the table has turned…even weirder the circumstances that brought us here!

  46. I voted for Alpacus Dumbledore, but since that is so low, my second choice is totally Barack OLlama.

  47. Llamas have “banana ears”. In the pic, the ears look straight so either the taxidermist straightened their ears (WTF?) or that is an alpaca. I used to have llamas so I have some experience with the ears. And the spitting! Maybe you should answer the door with a rain coat covered partially composted grass clippings glued to it!
    You make my day!

  50. Just wanted to cast a vote for Hedy Llamar…The “mother of Wi-Fi”!
    She’s pretty much the whole reason we can create a cool little community while still on the couch in our jammies.

  51. I just started reading your book Furiously Funny and I gotta say for the first time ever I dont feel like alone like it was to relatable but in such a funny way Thank you I’m sorry this isn’t relevant to this post 100% but in these shitty times it’s good to have a laugh thank you again

  53. Do we care about accuracy? Probably not, but just so we’re making responsible choices: “A good place to start with the difference between alpacas and llamas is with the ears. Llamas have long banana-shaped ears while alpacas have straight ears and they are smaller. So, your ‘bitey doggy’, Jenny, is definitely an alpaca. 😎

  55. The great thing about Fleece Witherspoon is that it could be either llama, or alpaca. Or sheep. Or lamb. Or goat. Or camel. Or rabbit. Or musk ox. One can make fiber out of all their fleeces. As one does. Thanks for letting us play!!

  56. My husband voted also – he says “Alpaca bag unless you comealama.”

  57. Hi – I am K, and I like cooking/eating, knitting monsters, and laughing with my friends. Im kind of cooped up here with my four kids (three are “adults”, and one teenager) while we work through the death of my husband, and this coronavirus garbage.
    Currently planning on teaching the 15 year old how to play poker for jelly beans…

  60. m Brazilian, I can’t speak English, but I read your books and use the Google translator to read what you write on your blog. My God I need to learn English (I’m trying hard lol)

    actually I just realized that all this shit has nothing to do with the llama kkkkkk

    ps: i’m using google translator for this comment so blame him for any mistak

  61. I’ve been practicing social distancing for years, so things haven’t changed much for me. I still spend five days a week with my horses on a private ranch, and right now, I’m the only one who boards there. In my spare time, I knit, read, and do some illustrations, mostly water color and colored pencils. And of course, trying to get my medication in the right combination so I can actually function and do those things that I listed. Big virtual hugs back to you all.

  62. I love all the names! As for the pen pals, I got a strange and sort of…. insulting letter from one. Don’t be sad, because I have laughed until I spit water out my nose. It was just so weird. And weirdly fantastic. The best comedy, even if it wasn’t intended that way. Still makes me laugh just thinking about it.

  63. He/She has such a sweet face! That’s my favorite part of llamapacas. Is his/her fleece soft? It looks soft.

  65. When we see them on farms we call them alpllamas. Just saying it is fun ALLLLpllamAAAAAA! 🙂

  66. I thought someone else would think of this. If a baby alpaca is a cria, then Criannon (like the Fleetwook Mac song.) Or Alpa Cameo (like the car Alfa Romeo, only different.) Probably too subtle. Fleece Witherspoon is nice.

  67. I voted Fleece Witherspoon, because that is such a very obviously girlie female, but my honest first choice would have been Dolly Llama, which I was going to suggest then got too distracted. But whatever her name ends up being she is gorgeous!

  68. I voted for Virginia WOOLf, because who wouldn’t?! But now you have to get her a room of her own.

  69. Oh dang! I would have suggested Vasco da Llama! But I missed it!
    Vasco da Llama is an awesome name

  74. I think she looks like a girl, too, so Louisa May Alpacott or Fleece Witherspoon seems most fitting.

  75. These are all great and made me laugh… in a three way tie between Barak O’Llama, Wooly Nelson and Fleece Witherspoon I had to choose Fleece. Thanks for brightening my day!

  77. Being an introvert I shone social media, except Instagram where I tend to just follow bikini models. I am single…again alone (except for the cat) and working from home. I tend to like routines and spend my time writing about my adventures on the blog linked below. I spend a large amount of time reading about the virus, which I think I contracted , but Michigan is only testing you if you are dying so we my never know.

  78. I’m Team Alpaca. (Just to be sure, I looked up marmots and harriers. It’s neither of those.)

    For the name, I’m using the infallible Marie Kondo method: the name that brings me the most joy is Llama Del Rey. Wait…I’m Team Alpaca so I can’t choose that one. Damn you, Kondo!

    Finally…there’s a weird optical illusion going on in that photo. The juxtaposition (love that word) of alpaca ear against Jenny’s shaded dimples makes it look like Jenny is sporting a goatee. (I’m definitely NOT Team Goat.)

  81. Oh bummer, Lola isn’t on this list. I loved the rewrite of that song for her! So I then I voted for Llama Del Ray, but then your commenters convinced me, it had to be Hedy Llamar because she is the Mother Of The Internet, and without her during this apocalypse, we’d all be glued to our newspapers for information and hoping for letters in the mail to stay connected. So I vote for the goddess who created our digital age, Hedy Llamar is the only choice that makes sense!
    On another note, I don’t do twitter or Facebook, too many reasons why…. and I don’t like getting emails from people who aren’t friends I already know or family (too much spam.) So for now I’ll just enjoy the amazing Bloggess fans in these comments, where you and they make me smile and make me feel understood, and make me feel like I’m not an “other” for the first time in my life, our Strangelings community.

  82. First, I hope your sister is feeling better.

    Second, I’m so happy that my Google has this article at the top of my “Articles for you” list! <3.

    #stayhome
    #AnneFrankit
    #plankthecurve

  84. Jenny, I love you and all of the others who love you. Your posts often make my day. Stay well!!

  85. YOU’LL HAVE TO AMEND THE LIST JENNY because I’m totally with Donna Lucas, #48, who so brilliantly suggested PAC-MAN. She is officially my new hero.

  86. I know I post things on my Twitter, but I’m not very good at it. If anyone would like to be friends though I sure know I could use some more social contact right now!

  87. Okay seriously, am I the only one a little creeped out by those huge black eyes?? Looks like she is staring into my soul! I just have to vote for Barack O’Llama because it’s the only one that actually made me laugh (though a close second is Falcor!).
    I am always totally happy to stay at home, so that part still isn’t bothering me much. What is bothering me is over-worrying about my high-risk mom, nervous about the whole toilet paper shortage (we aren’t going nuts with hoarding everything possible, but currently only have one 4-pack of toilet paper…), worrying how worse it’ll all get before things start to get better, etc etc.
    Sending virtual hugs to everyone! Please stay safe!

  88. I just realized we should have nominated Dolly Llama. Because that’s a great combination of cloned sheep and a llama. Even though it’s an alpaca. Which makes much nicer jackets.

  89. As a fiber enthusiast (don’t judge me for the 7 different types of animal hair in my closet) that’s totally an alpaca. You know some places they eat them?! That’s so sad. But yes, alpaca make the best fiber for spinning and felting.

  90. There were so many good name choices, but I went with Barack Ollama ❤

  91. We were a little slow to the game but my husband wanted to weigh in with Alpaco de Lucia. Style, grace, retro-cool. It’s got everything a taxadermed alpaca might desire.

  93. For an introvert, you really are a hub of connection for others!
    One of my biggest sorrows about having to cancel our trip to the US for this June is that it means we will not get to visit Nowhere. We will get there, just not yet.

  95. I try to check Twitter once a day – it will be nice to visit with the Jenny Clan!
    @EvilBitchMom

  96. Pingback: Weekend Reading #001 – …in some weird postmodern way…

  99. I vote Alpacalypse because then we can call her Allie for short and it will be a sweet reminder that we’ve made it through.

    Ok I know I’m so out of touch, I don’t have a Twitter account, well I did when it first started and had no idea what it was really about and not much was really going on when it first came out, so I got bored and now have no idea what my user name is and need a new one, anyone in our BloggessFam want to take me through the steps on how to use it? I do have an IG that I’ve had for maybe a week, and I don’t think I’ve really made any of my own posts, just scroll through to see a few people I enjoy. Anyway my email is ShawnaLauria@yahoo.com. It’s my “extra” email account, not my main one. Thanks fam. Hugs to everyone. We all could use one right about now.

  100. Pingback: Name that…um…thingie. | The Bloggess - ACTU24-7

  103. I really hope my pen pals (they are awesome, I have not been the best respondent) will read this. I can’t write to you right now because 1. I am stuck in town and your addresses are at my home village in Alaska. 2. I can’t leave my house…arggh!

  104. I loved the pen pal thing, it has so helped. Right now having anxiety issues. Have a crappy immune system and Belgium has been on lockdown a week but my isolation has been 2 weeks.

Leave a Reply

MY BOOKS:


shop

Subscribe to the bloggess, y'all.

Enter your email address and receive notifications of new posts by email. It\'s like I\'m stalking you, but more efficient.

Archives

ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:

I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:

Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.

Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.

The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”.  Often irreverent, always honest.

Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.

Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

Beautiful Writers book: Writers! This coming-of-career memoir (w/ the BEST advice from celeb authors, real shit you haven’t heard) is life. A page-turning beach read doubling as how-to. #Magic

The Dating Days of Marta O: When I told my sister I was building a blog she said: “Do people still read blogs?” I do not know, but if YOU want to read it, here it is. Keep in mind, my stories about dating after 40 are for the brave.

Where Do I Belong? A memoir of Sarah Carrington: The unbelievable story of growing up in a religious cult in the mountains of Northern British Columbia. What happens to you in life doesn’t make you strong; rising above it does.

CONNECTED: A Personal Journal for Ketamine Therapy Created by writer & patient Katherine Davis for this powerful clinical treatment. If considering ketamine for major depression, check out this essential tool.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: SO GOOD.

Discover more from The Bloggess

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading