So the other day Victor and I were at a resale shop and I saw this little bit of fried gold.
And Victor was like, “That is toddler’s tutu and we don’t have a toddler” and I explained that it was a vintage, hand-sewn costume AND CROWN for $15 and that he just didn’t have the right kind of eyes to see its magic and then he may have accused me of becoming a hoarder because I was buying something I’d never use and I accused him of being a terrible parent because it was the perfect size for Judy Snarland and then the cashier just sort of stared at us because I guess he wasn’t used to couples having disagreements in the store.
And so I explained to the cashier, “Judy Snarland is our daughter” and Victor was all, “JUDY SNARLAND IS A DEAD CAT YOU LIKE TO DRESS UP IN PEOPLE CLOTHES” and then the cashier was probably convinced I actually was a hoarder so I pulled out my phone and showed him pictures and explained that Judy Snarland is a taxidermied bobcat rescued from an estate sale who would look fantastic in turquoise and the cashier did not disagree.
(Victor would like to point out that the cashier didn’t agree either and was probably just scared.)
Regardless, Judy Snarland was thrilled.
But it was almost impossible to get the tutu on myself (by myself, I mean…I didn’t try to wear it myself) so I asked for help and Victor was like, “I’m busy being less crazy than you” and I kept ripping the the claw covers off Judy’s paws and that’s why I currently have cat scratches from a bobcat that’s been dead for 50 years.
But after two bandaids (and some help from Hailey) Judy Snarland was ready for her close-up.
But then I was like, “I dunno…is it too much?” and Victor was like, “It’s a taxidermied bobcat in a sequined tutu. Of-fucking-course it’s too much. It’s always been too much.” But Hailey understood what I was saying and suggested that “less is more” when it comes to bobcat costuming and I think they’re absolutely right.
Perfection.
PS. Thank you for all the sweet words last week. I’m feeling a bit better and am crossing every finger that I’m moving steadily out of this hole.