Search Results for “kangaroo anniversary”

Happy anniversary, Victor.

In a few minutes it will be the 4th of July. It will also be mine and Victor’s 17th anniversary. I usually celebrate anniversaries with giant metal chickens, or unexpected sloths, or tiny kangaroos in the house, but this year I’m celebrating quietly and with dignity. Mostly because the live llama delivery place said theyContinue reading “Happy anniversary, Victor.”

19 years is angry men making you feel bad about peeing.

Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary and that means that Victor and I have been married for 19 years. 15 years was giant metal chickens and I think 17 years was when I rented that sloth and a tiny kangaroo to surprise Victor in our living room (he was very surprised) but I didn’t know what to doContinue reading “19 years is angry men making you feel bad about peeing.”

UPDATED: The man deserves a damn medal

UPDATED: SEE BELOW… Today is mine and Victor’s 16th anniversary, which is sort of insane. You might remember last year, when I declared 15 year anniversaries should be marked with unexpected giant metal chickens at the door. This year I had to outdo Beyonce (the giant metal chicken, not the singer. I try not toContinue reading “UPDATED: The man deserves a damn medal”

Victor refuses to open anything addressed to me anymore

I have a public PO box, but I almost never write about anything sent to me. Also, I never check it, so twice a year the post office gets pissed, throws everything in one box and mails it to me. Last time, the most baffling package contained an actual kangaroo hand. No shit, y’all. KangarooContinue reading “Victor refuses to open anything addressed to me anymore”