In a few minutes it will be the 4th of July. It will also be mine and Victor’s 17th anniversary. I usually celebrate anniversaries with giant metal chickens, or unexpected sloths, or tiny kangaroos in the house, but this year I’m celebrating quietly and with dignity. Mostly because the live llama delivery place said theyContinue reading “Happy anniversary, Victor.”
Search results for: kangaroo anniversary
19 years is angry men making you feel bad about peeing.
Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary and that means that Victor and I have been married for 19 years. 15 years was giant metal chickens and I think 17 years was when I rented that sloth and a tiny kangaroo to surprise Victor in our living room (he was very surprised) but I didn’t know what to doContinue reading “19 years is angry men making you feel bad about peeing.”
UPDATED: The man deserves a damn medal
UPDATED: SEE BELOW… Today is mine and Victor’s 16th anniversary, which is sort of insane. You might remember last year, when I declared 15 year anniversaries should be marked with unexpected giant metal chickens at the door. This year I had to outdo Beyonce (the giant metal chicken, not the singer. I try not toContinue reading “UPDATED: The man deserves a damn medal”
Victor refuses to open anything addressed to me anymore
I have a public PO box, but I almost never write about anything sent to me. Also, I never check it, so twice a year the post office gets pissed, throws everything in one box and mails it to me. Last time, the most baffling package contained an actual kangaroo hand. No shit, y’all. KangarooContinue reading “Victor refuses to open anything addressed to me anymore”
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So I went to Target to ninja-sign some books but they were sold out (which I guess is a good thing) but then THIS HAPPENED.
All of the Broken Oracle cards @katie_gamb painted are amazing but today’s is just ::chef’s kiss:
*checks online rankings*
Lots of things in our backyard are still deadish after the snowstorm, but...my rose bush which was basically just twigs a few weeks ago fucking exploded.
ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:
I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:
