Search Results for “ninja”

I bet the trainee ninjas totally practice on the white people first.

My husband, Victor, calling me from Japan: Me: So have you seen any ninjas yet? Victor: Yeah. I saw one in my bathroom yesterday. Me: Fucking amateur. Victor: I hit him in the nose with one of those things you use to put your shoe on. Me: A shoe-horn? Victor: No, one of those longContinue reading “I bet the trainee ninjas totally practice on the white people first.”

I'm quite afraid I've built up this ninja post too much

So according to my blog keyword search, a crazy amount of people are insanely paranoid about ninjas and are crap spellers. I mean, I’m obviously not one to cast stones after my recent, tiny ninja punctuation crisis but this shit is ridiculous. I mean, no judgment and I totally can’t tell which of you got here by butchering ninja phrases but really? InContinue reading “I'm quite afraid I've built up this ninja post too much”

A rant without ninjas

I know I promised you a kick-ass ninja story but I just have to quickly respond to the 23rd person to threaten to unsubscribe to Mama Drama if I don’t hurry up and write a post there. I don’t write there anymore. I write at Good Mom/Bad Mom. And you should read it because it’s awesome andContinue reading “A rant without ninjas”

There might be ninjas everywhere for all I can tell – UPDATED

This is an awareness test: Click here and watch this video before you read the rest of this. Did you do it? Update: Okay, I have had to explain in detail exactly why this post is funny to about 9 different people in email and in person which is a pretty good indication that it’s probably not funny at all. ButContinue reading “There might be ninjas everywhere for all I can tell – UPDATED”

Will a signed copy of my book one day be worth one million dollars? Almost probably.

So, I was asked to sign some collector copies of FURIOUSLY HAPPY for people who wanted a signed book but didn’t want to go to a signing and I said I’d do it, but then I got a draft of the signing page and it said something like, “This limited, signed, 1st edition has been specially bound” and it felt like itContinue reading “Will a signed copy of my book one day be worth one million dollars? Almost probably.”

It’s how the light gets in…

So, yesterday we got a dog. Most people would end that sentence with an exclamation mark, but honestly I wasn’t looking for a dog. I’ve said “no” to hundreds my daughter has begged for (and even a few I wanted myself) because it hurts too much to lose one. When Barnaby Jones died four years ago IContinue reading “It’s how the light gets in…”