UPDATED! ~ #BloggessBookClub


My blog crashes after 1,000 comments and since we’re already halfway there I thought it would be safer to just move over a discussion group on goodreads.  It’s free and easy to join (If I can do it a hamster can) so just click over here to sign up and join in the discussion.

Welcome to the first ever virtual #BloggessBookClub!  Several people asked if they could have one and I thought it sounded lovely for all of us anxiety-ridden introverts who would rather be home in pajamas with a beer.  So how are we going to do this?  I have no fucking idea.  We’ll just wing it, I think.

Let’s start next Tuesday (the 19th) so that’ll give you enough time to borrow, buy or steal my book and we’ll talk about a different section each night until we finish it.  In fact, I’ll read the first section on youtube and put it here so that you can join in even if you can’t afford the book right now.

Each day next week I’ll be here between 7-8pm central and we can discuss it in the comments.  I’ll answer any questions you have and we can debate how many ways my book is not real literature.  It will be awesome.  Or it’ll just be me and my sister, drunk, sitting here on this page talking to each other in the comment section.  Joining the #bloggessbookclub is free and comes with a lifetime membership to the DOUBLE UNICORN SUCCESS CLUB.  Tuesday we’ll talk about Chapters 1-2.  Here are the pictures (in color) for those of you who have the audio book.

Just in case you don’t have the book, here’s me reading the intro and chapter 1 for you.  It’s like a demented bedtime story:

For anyone who stumbles on this page for the first time I apologize in advance.  Also, here’s all the info you need to order the book…


The UK edition is a tad more whimsical.

I wrote a book and it only took me 11 years.  (Shut up, Stephen King.)

You should probably go buy it right now, because it’s filled with awesomeness.  And cocaine.  But only if you hollow it out and fill it with your own cocaine.  I’m not buying you cocaine.  Because I love you.

And that’s why you should buy my book.  Because I’m saving you from yourself.  And from cocaine.


It’s available at AmazonBarnes & NobleIndie BoundBooks-A-MillionHastingsTarget and iTunes and it somehow became a #1 NYT BestSeller the first week out.  I have no idea how that happened either.

In the UK you can get it at Amazon.UKWaterstones and UK indie stores.

Book summary:  

For fans of Tina Fey and David Sedaris-Internet star Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, makes her literary debut.  Her book opened at #1 on the NYT list and is still on the list 8 weeks later.

When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father (a professional taxidermist who created dead-animal hand puppets) and a childhood of wearing winter shoes made out of used bread sacks. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it.

Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter are the perfect comedic foils to her absurdities, and help her to uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments-the ones we want to pretend never happened-are the very same moments that make us the people we are today.

Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir is a poignantly disturbing, yet darkly hysterical tome for every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud. Like laughing at a funeral, this book is both irreverent and impossible to hold back once you get started.

AUTHOR BIO: Known for her sardonic wit and her hysterically skewed outlook on life, Jenny Lawson has made millions of people question their own sanity, as they found themselves admitting that they, too, often wondered why Jesus wasn’t classified as a zombie, or laughed to the point of bladder failure when she accidentally forgot that she mailed herself a cobra. Her blog (www.thebloggess.com) is award-winning, extremely popular, and she is considered to be one of  the funniest women alive by at least three people.


Praise and advanced reviews:

“Even when I was funny, I wasn’t this funny” ~ Augusten Burroughs, author of Running With Scissors

“The Bloggess writes stuff that actually is laugh-out-loud, but you know that really you shouldn’t be laughing and probably you’ll go to hell for laughing, so maybe you shouldn’t read it. That would be safer and wiser.”
-Neil Gaiman, author of The Sandman, Stardust, American Gods and Coraline

“There’s something wrong with Jenny Lawson-magnificently wrong. I defy you to read her work and not hurt yourself laughing.” -Jen Lancaster, Author of Bitter is the New Black, Jeneration X, Bright Lights, Big Ass

“Jenny Lawson will make you laugh again and again – at things you didn’t even know were funny.  And what’s more, she can write.  What she knows about pacing, punchlines, setups and surprises could fill a book.  Lucky for us, it’s this one.  – Katherine Center, author of The Bright Side of Disaster, Everyone Is Beautiful, and Get Lucky

“Jenny Lawson is hilarious, snarky, witty, totally inappropriate, and ‘Like Mother Teresa, Only Better.'”
-Diana Vilibert, Marie Claire

“Jenny Lawson’s writing is nothing less than revolutionary.  Her humor is touched by humanity, her cynicism laced with self-deprecation. I say this without a hint of exaggeration: She may be one of the most progressive women’s voices of our time.”
-Karen Walrond, author of The Beauty of Different

429 thoughts on “UPDATED! ~ #BloggessBookClub

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Oh, I want to join. And I want you to be the new Oprah of books. Imagine the fun you could have, promoting really out of the ordinary books.

  2. I’m in. Read it immediately upon release- so I’ll have a great excuse to read it again & “brush up!”

  3. It would probably make me a bad mom if I cancelled my son’s birthday trip to Great Wolf Lodge to participate. And yet….so tempting.

  4. YAY! Super duper excited about #BloggessBookClub! I love booze, ponies, pajamas, and all that fun stuff! w00t! I am so in for this!

  5. Also, helpful adivce can be offered. For instance – do not listen to the HR chapter of the audiobook while driving with the windows down.

  6. This is probably the best idea of the summer. I also concur with the Kara because there has been a severe literary void in my life without Oprah telling me what to read (even though I never read them because they were usually the kind of books that made me feel bad about my life). I would totes read your suggestions.

  7. I LOVED your book! It made me laugh, it really made me cry, it made me do all of those cliche things upon reading it. I actually just bought it for my best friend for her birthday and I can’t wait for her to read it so when I say things like “omg you won’t believe it, there was a turkey that followed her to school!” she won’t look at me like I’m high. I can’t wait for this book club. That’s the short version of my gushing… I’ll just be over here now.

  8. Are we starting with the first chapter? Or more than that?

    I loaned mine to a cousin in need of a laugh but I’d like to play along anyway!

  9. I would join, I would even buy and read your book, but since it is from Penguin Publishing and they are artificially raising the price of Kindle books, I won’t.

    (You could always buy the hardback, if you like. Technically I make less money on the ebook anyway (which confuses me too) so you aren’t hurting my feelings if you skip it or just borrow a book from the library. ~ Jenny)

  10. I am definitely in. I have a great chance to prepare. I have a flight today and will be reading it on the flight; I’m afraid of flying, so it is perfect. You always keep me laughing, and I can’t wait for this. 🙂

    Also, I love your shirts! My friends and I want at least 5 of them. Planning to get them one for our little reunion. We all just graduated, so we are getting together. 🙂

  11. Woo! Just ordered the book for my Kindle. If I remember to charge it, I will read!

  12. I’m in. Been loving the book so far. It’s provided some much needed laughs during a very stressful time in my life.

  13. I’m in for the book club but I’m also already a member of the Double Unicorn Success club. So, since I’ve already benefited from joining the club early (it’s a main point of my LinkedIn resume), are there any other benefits to the book club. You know, a Copernicus plush or a gold plated Juanita statuette? I seem to recall Jenny offering twitter followers ponies. I just want to make sure I’m on the list. I’m all about being on the list. For Jenny. Really, this is all for Jenny.

  14. Awesome, I read it already in the first couple days that I had it on my iPad, but maybe I’ll go over the first couple chapters again as a refresher 🙂

  15. Loved the book! I laughed so hard at the rapist on the other side of the bathroom door that I cried. I passed it on to a coworker.

  16. I am so in. I was an English major and can provide the Freudian speculation about wang metaphors that no bookclub would be complete without.

  17. Loved your book. My husband’s reading it now, so I’ll have to wrangle my copy back from him…

  18. Oh, everyone joining gets a free virtual pony. The only rule is that you must bring him (or her) to book club and they must have a name. Mine is named Captain Jiggasuarus SparklePants.

  19. Can my pony be Princess Superman Sparklepants?

    Great! I’m in. And also – your description of anxiety had me nodding my head so much I thought I was turning into a life-sized bobblehead. SO TRUE, and also Thank you SO much for writing about it.

  20. This means I’ll have to read the last chapter once we get there. I’ve been refusing to do so, because I don’t want the book to be over.

  21. Of course I’m in! That would explain this virtual pony in my living room scaring the shit out of the cats. As long as there’s an explanation, because my husband, Cap’n Killjoy, frowns upon new pets.

    I shall name her “Charlie” as in the 70’s bad perfume girl way. Not Charlie Horse. So. Obvious. Please.

  22. wait, how come all of us in the US didn’t get that cool cover??? Can I switch out my kindle version for that one?? and, did you use Britishisms in the UK version?? Inquiring minds…

  23. OMG I have your book and I’ve read it and I am SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS! I’ve never been in a Unicorn Success Club. This is like the best.day.ever.

  24. Is it ok if I have the book but haven’t found the energy to read it yet? My psoriatic arthritis has been kicking my ass lately. I’m really hopeful to get it read on vacation. I would so love a virtual pony. I would pet him and hug him and squeeze him and love him and call him George.

  25. Oh, and, since I’m traveling the country for the next two weeks for graduations, I’m not sure I’ll be able to check in on Tues nite, but I’ll come when I can. I’m all about virtual ponies! #MyLittlePony 😉

  26. Count me in! I pre-ordered it way back when, and haven’t had time to get reading on it because of my crazy “I-can-handle-two-5-week-accelerated-summer-courses-even-though-I-have-two-kids-that-I-homeschool-one-with-special-needs-PLUS-tball-AND-becoming-a-volunteer-for-soccer-registration-AND-losing-two-of-my-beloved-family-members-unexpectedly” ideas! But I promise to TRY to get that part read and ready to go next week 🙂

  27. Oh, I am so here. I loved the book. And the audio book. I made my husband listen to it on our road trip to San Antonio. He now understands why I love you.

    Off topic, but are you planning on ever recapping your Dallas book signing? I heard quite a few shenanegens happened after I left.

  28. Yay I can’t wait to join! My pony is going to be named princess magic sparkle horn (Since she is actually a unicorn pony) and she farts glitter.

  29. hmmmm….if i have the super awesome stainless steel unicorn success club travel mug (that i carry with me everywhere) i wonder if it will magically morph into the DOUBLE UNICORN SUCCESS club if i join the book club…regardless, i cannot wait – i laughed so hard at your book intro (no spoilers, but the same thing happened to me except it was my gramma and i was 7) that i can’t freakin wait to hear you read it…YAY, this is such a great idea 🙂

  30. I will be here, kindle in hand, ready for the commentary awesomeness that will surely ensure. Professor Snarkaramus McGillicuddy (Snarky McG, for short) will also be tagging along, but he’ll just probably sit quietly by and watch the glory of the first ever meeting of The #BloggessBookClub.

  31. I’m in too… if I can remember. Because as a fellow West Texas survivor ex-pat, I suffer from CRS caused I’m sure from years of exposure to natural gas fumes and dust.

  32. Goody. My virtual pony’s name is going to be IamaDragon. Because I REALLY want a virtual dragon but no one will give me one. I hate to give a virtual pony an inferiority complex on its first day, though. Because virtual ponies deserve love. I’ll just call it Ima. I’ll tell it the truth when it gets older.

  33. I’M IN.

    About this virtual pony – if we get one when we join, but we have to bring him/her to the book club … how do we acquire it to begin with? Is there a specified Pony Pickup Point? Or will I, by virtue of the above “I’M IN”, suddenly find myself with an imaginary pony crammed into my cubicle upon pressing Submit below?

    Can’t wait to find out!

  34. I’m definitely in even if it’s just in “spirit” since 7/8 pm central is like 2/3 am here, but I’ll definitely be here if I happen to be awake by then

  35. I can’t wait! I haven’t had a chance to read your book yet so, the fact that you are willing to help out the people (like me) who can’t afford a copy by reading it on YouTube, is amazing. I’m so excited to hear it!! :o)

  36. Oh, how fun! Definitely going to try to make it! That free virtual pony really sweetens the deal for sure. Horseschack Horseberg has a nice ring to it…

  37. Um, yes, please! Although I’m totally in Symphony rehearsals all nights next week, I’ll attempt commenting on my phone when I should be singing.

    Oh, but no twitter for me – I’m old and barely comprehend e-mail.

  38. I’m in!! The book club that is. I’m not sure if I can figure out central time or itf I’ll be on an hour late or an hour early or whatever, but either way, I’m in. And I did buy the book. To my kindle though, that counts right?

  39. I’ve never actually been part of a book club, but to read your book—with you—and lots of others, while sitting in my pj’s with a beer in hand, sounds perfect. Fortunately, I already have a copy of the book, so I’m ready for next week. Can’t wait!

  40. I’m in! I’ll be traveling late next week, but I will be here on Tuesday!

    Yay for virtual ponies (pony goodness without the cleanup!) and Yay for Double Unicorn Success Club (I desperately needed something for the “club affiliations” section you see on so many applications these days!)

    I actually got your book for my Mom for Mother’s Day and told her that a specific part of your book is something that goes on in my head ALL THE TIME.

    Yay for BloggessBookClub!!

  41. I’m in. That is, if I’m not too busy participating in all of the other awesome things I’ve been invited to join. In short, I’m in. Don’t you worry, I’ll be bringing my virtual pony, Flapjacks MacGyver.

    (Flapjacks MacGyver might be be best pony name ever. ~ Jenny)

  42. I’m really glad you will be sharing the first section on Youtube. I so badly want to read your book but just can’t afford it (and with the rate my name is moving up the list at the library it will be Christmas before I get to turn those pages). It looks like there is going to have to be some family begging so I can get my grubby little hands on a copy of my own. (Maybe I can convince someone that my birthday was moved this year…)

  43. Hell yeah! It’ll be awesome! My pony is Princess TwinkleSparkle. Then again, all of the animals in my house, real and stuffed, boy or girl, are named that, thanks to our daughter.

    On a side note, I think I drove by your house this weekend – at least there was a house in between Kerrville and Fredericksburg that had Beyonce out by the front gate looking like she was telling everyone to just “Move on, Motherfuckers!”

  44. This is the first and only book club I ever want to be in! So glad you started it! And I am honored to join the Unicorn Success Club being partial to unicorns since seeing one when I was about 4 (actually I thought it was a very thin white rhinoceros — I knew about these because I had zoo flashcards. But now in hindsight — the existence of a thin rhino is much less likely than that of a unicorn… so there you go.

  45. I’m totally in, and I’m warning you, you’re going to have to answer for the whole “Wall is the location where Footloose took place” thing! Okay, I’ll be nice, but still. This is how I tell people about the area in which I grew up!

  46. Shoot. I have to pick my sister up at the airport on 6/19. So I will miss the first meeting!

    (I bought two copies of the book…one to read and one for you to sign. I just need the audio book and the kindle version to have the quadfecta. ((like a trifecta, but with four?))

  47. Oh, this must happen. Particularly since I am throwing a party for Mark’s 17th birthday that afternoon and I will NEED (NEED!!) a giant dose of Bloggess to begin recuperation from hosting 26 seventeen- to nineteen-year-olds. Why on earth I agreed to this despite all my various panic and anxiety disorders continues to flummox me.

    Also, I’ve never had a pony.

  48. Dammit, I have GOT to figure out the time conversation shit once and for all before Tuesday! YOU DO NOT OWN ME, CENTRAL STANDARD TIME!

  49. Oh my gosh, I want to be in on this so bad. Unfortunately I’d only be able to do one or maybe two nights before I leave internet connection behind for a European vacation.

    I’m kinda heartbroken to be missing out on it. 🙁

  50. This is pretty awesome of you Jenny! I mean, not as awesome as Wil Wheaton collating papers with images of Morgan Freeman with a Cat on his head on them, but pretty damn awesome. On my awesomeness scale it’s attaining 84% awesome with a 12% will I get a word in edgewise, 3% my kid better be asleep and 1% I’ll have to set my DVR.

  51. Depending on how my sleep disorder is acting I’ll be there with Sir Prancey Prissyfoot, my virtual prancing Portuguese pony. (Yes, he was inspired by my Andalusian/Lusitano who can’t stand to walk though mud.)

    Have you ever considered creating an online forum where fans can interact and discuss your blog, your book and your taxidermy obsession? I’ll see if my husband (who is a software engineer) would be willing to create something like that if you are interested.

  52. I picked up the book on a whim and I am so excited for my first and only bookclub!
    I will be in my pjs with beer on Tuesday

  53. Totally read the book, but may just lurk in the background for the book club. I never have anything witty to say.

  54. I came to see you last Saturday in Chicago! I started reading the book on the drive home, and my friend (who was driving! I’m not that talented at multi-tasking..) kept giving me the side-eye because I wouldn’t stop snort-laughing in the passenger seat.

    I’m looking forward to the next books!!

  55. Oh HELL Yeah! It was the first book I bought for my eReader. My husband had no clue how funny it was and didn’t understand why I was laughing so hard. Guess it takes a crazy to understand a crazy. LOL

  56. This makes me BEYOND happy. So excited to be discussing the book…was a laugh out loud experience that I have passed along to my sister, best friend and mom.

  57. I’ve never participated in a book club, so this seems like the best first book club experience…. EVER.
    can’t wait!

  58. This promises to be a lot of fun. I’m in, even if it’s just to watch from the shadows like some creepy peeper.

  59. You had me at virtual pony. His name is Christophilus Tinglesnacks IV. (He comes from a long line of virtual ponies.)

  60. Would a chat room not be a better place? or maybe use a Twitter hash tag so as not to kill your blog server? There has to be something a little more real time that you could implement on your site to accommodate this idea. Feel free to ping me if you want some help.

  61. I’m in! I devoured the book and then bought four more copies for friends! I relate so much! Can’t wait!

  62. I. Am. So. IN!!! OMG! Since you didn’t come to where I live during your tour (prolly wouldn’t have mattered since I proved how klutzy I am and fell down my own freaking stairs and could hardly walk) this will be the next best thing!!!!! I cannot wait to re-read you wonderful, fabulous, hilarious (yet touching), awesome-sauce book!!!

    p.s. thanks for the reminder – must go buy Double Unicorn Success Club T-shirt!

  63. Squee! I may just break down and open a twitter account now. <3

    FWIW, my beer just finished this week. So I'll bring that. It's an IPA but has been declared "acceptable" by people who hate IPAs. And beer. What should I name it? So far it's been caused Experiment #1: I don't know what I'm doing.

  64. My book is waiting for me at my mom’s house. (My mail delivery sucks here.) Gahhhhhhh! Can’t wait to read it!

  65. are there pictures in the book? I’m thinking about actually buying it for my kindle but photos don’t translate all that well, thanks

  66. My pony (Elvis Horseley) and I will be there. With bells on. And sparkles. Because sparkles are pretty and Elvis Horseley likes to be pretty.

  67. What a great idea for a book club! I can commit to reading a book at home in my jammies…or, at the very least, drinking from 7-8pm CST on a Tuesday. 🙂

  68. I am totally in…my virtual pony’s name would be…Silky Nooks Lardy Nubs…

  69. Amazing, a book club with a great book, not having to get dressed to participate, and a membership in the double unicorn success club? People would be fools not to join, fools I tell you! Can’t wait!

  70. Loved the book almost as much as I loved the time you talked about how you made mac & cheese in individual packets for your entire family. Was that in the book or on the blog? It all blurs. But it made me feel better about the time I wanted to make cookies but didn’t have a recipe so guessed and didn’t realize there was chemistry involved and ended up with water-insoluble Lemonus Discuses that we used for Frisbies and didn’t disintegrate in an Iowa rainstorm. I’ll try to pile on when I see you chatting!

  71. I am so in. But since I almost peed myself from laughing so many times reading your book I am foregoing the suggested pajama dress code and going with adult diapers. It just seems prudent since I will be required to be drinking beer in addition to relieving the funniest moments (all) of your book. . .

  72. I’m so in! I finished it in a weekend, ignored my husband (except when I read excertps out loud to make him laugh…I think he feels some “dude, we’re in this together” with Victor), laughed until I wheezed AND cried. Anyone who writes like that is pretty fabulous in my book. 🙂

    Oddly enough, the other day I found a shop on Etsy that sells Unicorn Fart Lip Balm and Soap (apparently, Unicorns fart cotton candy and mint). It was baffling and mildly disturbing…so getting back to your book and sparkles might be a good idea.

  73. Hey Jenny,
    Count me in. My pony’s name will be Purple Princess Passion or just PP for short. I just wrote PP.:-)

  74. Even though I’m old enough to be your mother, I read your book this weekend, and was caught laughing out loud at 1 am. Luckily the unicorns protected the perimeter from the critic.

  75. Never was in a book club, but this one is sure to be hysterical, so I’m there. So is Jellybelly Twinklebottom, most magical virtual pony to ever “exist.”

  76. Wish I didn’t have to work late… for that is my birthday, and I’d love to spend it discussing your book! (also, it’s a Tuesday, and I can’t spend my bday drinking copious amounts of good, strong beer. I am a professional!)

  77. I’m halfway through! I guess I need to get busy. I can’t get the doll head from Draw Me A Fucking Dog out of my head. I giggle every time I think about it.

  78. I am in, thank you for my pony! I have named her Pinky Tuscadero.

  79. I am so in! I’ve already read it twice but classics such as this should be reread enough times so that you can memorize and quote passages at parties… Kinda a big “fuck you!” to the stuck-up windbags who quote Keates. My pony, Leanord McCornmuffin will be there, with or without bells on (Leanord will be wearing the bells)

  80. Okay I’m kinda excited about this and plan to be here! On time even,obviously Sassafras will be here too.We will mostly be reading along and only commenting as our extreme social awkwardness allows us to. Yes even online stuff overwhelms sometimes because we are a special kind of awesome.
    Sassafras is what I named my virtual pony,she is pink and sparkly…..with awesomeness not because she is a vampire. Obviously.

  81. And then I’ll go back and figure out the time CONVERSION not conversation and then realize that just now, right then, I once again typed conversation first because my mind and fingers are at war and no one told my arms.

  82. Oh MAN. This is going to be great! It’ll be like being in student council in high school except you can say fuck a lot probably, and discuss the greatest book ever written.

  83. Oh hell yeah, I’m there. I may have a job by then or something, but I’m sure I can find a way out of it if I do. Best Book Club EVER. I think my pony will be named Too Much Klonapin to Run or something. One of those odd Kentucky Derby type names.

  84. I’m in, even though I’m allergic to ponies. I’ll just have to take lots of virtual antihistamine.

  85. I’m in!! Asparagus (my sparkly green pony) and I will be here and on twitter!! (Do we get to harass Nathan Fillion?)

  86. Loved the book. The flock of giant quail (turkeys) were a highlight for me. Love the book club idea!

  87. I own, and am currently reading your book, slowly, because I don’t want it to end. I’m amazed at how much I relate to you and your childhood, except for the dead animals 😉

  88. I am so excited for this! I need to start re-reading. I read it the first time in a single night, when my insomnia got the best of me. My pony, Princess Pogolita Powderpuff, and I are excited to read it during the day, like maybe normal people would.

  89. I am reading it right now, but I have to take breaks. It makes me laugh so hard, I weep and can’t breathe. You’re actually killing me with awesome.

  90. Bought it, slapped your signed bookplate in it, read it, loved it, tweeted/fb it. MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  91. Jenny, you are my hero (I’d say heroine, but that sounds too druggy and I’m never sure how to spell it). I don’t quite know how I stumbled onto your book (it had something to do with downloading Jennifer Eagan’s book, A Visit from the Goon Squad, and Gary Shtyngart’s Stupid Absurd Love Story or whatever it’s called, and who is my male hero and who(m) by the way, I met when The Russian Debutante’s Guide Book came out. So I sampled your book on my Kindle (that rocks…you can read lots of books that way for free…)and then I HAD, HAD, to buy your book for my Kindle. I love my Kindle. (“you’re welcome, Amazon.com”). I’m up to the part with the post-it’s to your husband and loving that…also, you were beautiful in your wedding dress. I think Victor nailed that one. Is this too long? i’ve never written to a blogger before.

  92. I’m in! My pony shall be called Jeff, he is a simple pony and so only wanted a simple name.

  93. I will totally be there with my ponies hair braided with ribbons and sparklers I think the pony hates me

  94. I love this idea. I’ll be here!!! My pony’s name will be Lollipop Crazy-mode (my children helped name it).

  95. Ooh, count me in!! I’m a bubbly extrovert, but I love pjs, beer and virtual ponies, so hopefully I’ll still be allowed in the book club. I absolutely adored your book, although the people I was sitting near on the plane while I was reading it probably didn’t appreciate the inappropriate snorting, laughing and crying!

  96. I’m in! I have the book in Kindle form and also in signed bookplate hardvover form. Devoured it in 1 day. But what to name my pony……

  97. Thats like 1am here, on a work day, and I have 2 plays to perform after work. So I am totally in. My pony shall be Hercules Fiddlesticks the third.

  98. me me me!! I am totally in–esp since I have to miss my “other” book club meeting next week due to a conflict. IN that book club we pick our books for the entire year during a drunken girls weekend at the beach in November. This November I intended to suggest LPTNH as my selection for 2013. I generally let the other members select the classics, historical fiction and books on wars and the holocaust. I tend to stick to stuff that causes you to snort wine out your nose (i.e. one year I suggested Bridget Jones’ Diary). so its perfect. now if I could only get the author to agree to participate in our group discussion…… :)))

  99. I will have to come and read all the awesomeness after everyone has gone home. 🙁 I have a standing commitment Tuesday evenings and I don’t think they would appreciate me laughing my ass off at my phone. Anyone else in the same situation want to split a pony? We can call her Hester Half-equus.

  100. I’ll be here with bells and whistles! I was just thinking about how much I relate to this book (even to your childhood, oddly enough…I guess it’s a growing up in a Texan poor small town thing…although animal husbandry was never one of our approved field trips)

    Can’t wait!

  101. Don’t forget the library!! They sent me an email yesterday that it is on hold for me to come pick up!!

  102. I’m in. Probably. But my memory sucks and I usually am starting dinner around that time every night. But I’m stll in. My husband can..feed…himself? Hm. That won’t go well.

  103. I was going to ask who’s bringing the snacks, but Carole and Banana Stickers totally have it covered. Not sure how they’re getting the stuff to my house, but I will have faith that there will be cookies, vodka, and pie on Tuesday night.

    I do not have a virtual pony, though. I’m allergic. 🙁

  104. I’m looking forward to this. Ms. Lawson, your book is like a printed anthem for geeky girls from rural Texas. 🙂

  105. Count me in…I want to be a drunken unicorn, too. PS: Your book was awesome.

  106. I’m totally on board the Bloggess Book Club! I already read it but what a great reason to read it again. Setting an alarm on my phone for Tuesday! My virtual pony will probably stay in the stable and talk to the other anxiety-order-having virtual ponies.

  107. My daughter will have to go to Grandma’s for the week or she will have to have the DVD player babysit … but I’ll be there! I’m thinking I might need to invest in a snow cone machine between now and then and install it next to my computer. 🙂

    Virtual pony name TBA (ok, the name isn’t TBA, but you get my drift I’m sure).

  108. I’m so in, although reading your book caused repressed memories to surface. Like the time my father brought home a road kill deer on Christmas Eve and made me field dress it. We live in Wisconsin… and I just turned 7… Maybe rereading your book will bring back more crazy dad memories and I’ll write a book of my own 😉

  109. It sounds like fun – I have a twitter that I hardly ever use, so I suppose I should figure it out.

    and remember – no tube-tops on YouTube!

  110. I am SO in!!! Page bookmarked on my iPad. Will pick up some cheap wine at the store this weekend. Must think of pony name, but I know it’s a she and she has purple glitter hair for mane and tail!

  111. I am really hoping that my internet-impairment-syndrome isn’t flaring up on Tuesday because I really want to do this. I mean, as brushes with greatness go, it’s pretty major to be in virtual proximity to one’s idol. And because it will give me something important to do that my antique boyfriend will miss because he’s too busy trolling for twenty-something admirers at poetry open mics in greasy dives. Ha!
    PS-I grew up in San Diego County which is exactly like West Texas, apparently.

  112. I am sooooooooo in. I disturbed people in multiple Starbucks with the outlandish guffawing that your book caused. GOOD STUFF!

  113. I will totally join the club! The book is still packed though, because I’m in the middle of moving and anything that isn’t summer clothing is in storage. But I read it through in no time flat, and whould be able to participate.


  114. OMG, why do I have to have a meeting that night????? Arrrrrggggghhhh!

    But other Tuesday, I’ll be in!!

  115. YAY! I think I will show up [virtually] to book club in librarian gear: cardigan, glasses on a chain, sensible heels, hair in bun. Then I will fling off the glasses and shake my hair down like the librarian in that old shampoo commercial, and under my cardigan, I’ll have on my “I [heart] BACON” t-shirt. And maybe I’ll even [virtually] bring enough bacon for everyone. This is going to be awesome. Sexy librarians and bacon and a great book!

  116. Sounds awesome. I loved your book and feel like I know you so much more now… in a totally non-creepy semi-stalkerish way, of course.

  117. I’ll so be here. I mean we had the same childhood…..ok the chicken in my bedroom was live and laid eggs under the bed, but you understand that I understand just how wonderful and messed up it was 🙂

  118. I’m going on a car trip this weekend with my 19-year-old son. We’ll be listening to the audio version of “Let’s Pretend”!

  119. I’m supposed to be here?!?! I guess maybe I should start reading. I mean, YEAH BEST BOOK EVER!!!!!!! Especially that adorable hawk girl.

  120. Will you make an announcement on Twitter when it starts? I probably won’t remember to attend otherwise. My OCD and anxiety riddled mind are too busy thinking about the same fucking thing over and over to remember important things like attending a book club or getting out of bed each day.

  121. please send out a reminder…i’m hopeless at remembering things

  122. This is going to be some epic shit! I would b willing to order One for someone who needs it…just paying the funny forward!

  123. Well of COURSE I’m in! I just have to hope my husband is home to take care of the kid because I don’t want to be interrupted.

    I could of course just park her in front of a movie. That usually works.

  124. Woo-hoo–an excuse to read the book again! My husband probably won’t get much sleep next week, as he complained when I read it the first time that my cackling laughter was keeping him awake. OH WELL.

  125. sounds awesome! I think I read it in like, three days. Sooo weird how many of my own memories it dredged up.

  126. OMG-I am so in!
    My husband was actually glad when I finished the book because my loud cackling laughter was waking him up…but I couldn’t help it……I like to read in bed!

  127. I love the book. I have it on my KindleFire. I’m trying to read it S..L..O..W..L..Y so it will last a long time. I don’t know if I’ll ever find another book this funny.

  128. I’d love to! Of course, I have had to give up my in-person book club that also meets on Tuesday nights because that’s when I have grad classes for the rest of the year. Can the second meeting be on a Thursday?

  129. Count me in !!!

    I love reading from you book, it makes my Victor think I’m normal… almost.


  130. Yay! It will give me an excuse to read it again! And Stephen King doesn’t have room to talk…..it took him how many f’ing years to write The Dark Tower? Esp. the span of years b/t books 3 and 4? Yeah, Jenny don’t have nothin to worry about

  131. No one can say that I don’t follow directions. I just ran right to Amazon and downloaded your book to my Kindle. Can’t wait to get started.

  132. Oh, I love this. So in. Too bad giant chat rooms are REALLY hard to get ahold of these days (minus livestream) because that would make it so much easier.

  133. I just started re-reading you book (laughing just as much the second time around thank you very much).
    The free pony was the selling point, but I totally suck at naming things (I’m surprised my kids aren’t simply “the girl” and “the boy” – however I refer to them in that manner quite often). My awesome husband got me a giant metal chicken a month ago and the poor thing still doesn’t have a name…referring to the chicken of course, my husband has an awesome name. I’m sure being a member of the DOUBLE Unicorn Success club will help me.

  134. OMG I’m almost tempted to finally suck it up and get a twitter account just so I can follow the book club both places at once. Well, that and I keep being taunted and ridiculed for my twitter resistance by a bunch of A-holes I call my friends.

  135. It gave me great comfort to know that I’m not the only one whose genius ideas and circuitous paths of reason are often met with long stares and blinkety-blink eyes. And that metal chicken stunt, I totally would have done that. I’ll be there Tuesday.

  136. Just wanted to mention that my selection for my bookclub in July is your book, so several more copies purchased… yay! And your book was one of the “Featured” books at our major bookstore chain Chapters (sorta like Barnes and Noble but Canadian).


  137. I’m in too! In fact I insisted we read your book for the book club I’m in that meets in real life! and your book is the one for august.

  138. Oh, yeah, and I’m in. I’ll be here with my awesome virtual pony “Tod.” Because… “Fred” seemed too banal. Tod is a little more metrosexual. And EVERYONE should have a metrosexual virtual pony. So sayeth I.

  139. Wait, can’t we get a chat room up and going somewhere? That would be way easier han the comments!

  140. So very IN. This is very exciting, my virtual horse Sacajawea bea Arthur and I will be there with bells on. (Sacajawea and bea Arthur are two of my favorite “swear” words that I use at work) people usually don’t question you too much if you randomly shutout bea Arthur, they just back away smiling at you…works for me.

  141. Just finished the book and so sad it’s over, so I’m glad I can keep up with you … So I will do my best to be part of this “awesomeness” .. 🙂

  142. I found your book while I was ridiculously bored at work and was immediately interested!!! I was laughing so hard all the customers were looking at me like a freak. But it was groovy and I LOVE THE BOOK!!!

  143. I so want to join! I got your book the day it came out for my kindle, and then had to buy it for three other people that I know and nag them to death until they started reading it! Once they started they couldn’t put it down until they finished it either. You are personally responsible for a much needed break from responsibility where I stayed up all night reading. I couldn’t thank you more. Just when I thought I had the weirdest upbringing I knew, along came you!

  144. I laughed obnoxiously loudly through your entire book. Then my mom and I gave your book to my grandmother for Mother’s Day and this is the message we got: “Thanks girls for the WEIRD book for your WEIRD Mom/Grandma. I nearly fell off the deck laughing!”
    You should put a warning on the cover that your book is hazardous to grandmothers.

  145. I will be there but probably late because my toddler is not cool about mommy time.

  146. WAIT. I get entry into the Unicorn Success Club AND a free virtual pony? This is better than that time I wrote Richard Greico and he sent me a “signed” photograph. My pony’s name will be Ryan Gosling. That may come off creepier than I intended.

  147. I will be rushing right home from work and joining! I LOVED the book! My daughter thought I had lost my mind because I would just randomly bust out laughing! I am excited about my pony..I will love him and hug him and call him George!

  148. I joined twitter just for you. I want you to know that. I can’t wait to stalk, I mean, talk with you at this virtual book club. Now I just need to figure out how to tweet like a real twit. No seriously. I’ve been on twitter for like 4 months and I still can’t figure this crap out. Looks like i’ve got a goal to get there by Tuesday.

  149. I don’t suppose you still have any of those 10,000 autographed book plates left? My book is lonely without one.

  150. Yessss! Thank you for this gift. It was just what I needed to get through another day of painting. I was about to sit down and cry, now I’m grinning like it was Christmas 😀

  151. Loved the book — bought one for my sister. Love you Jenny. You make me laugh (almost) every day! I’ll try to remember to come back Tuesday between 7-8 CDT although I might forget. That’s usually when I’m drinking.

  152. I should probably be studying for my comprehensive exams but who am I kidding. This will be way more fun than reading accounting research and more applicable to real life. My virtual pony is named…I’ll have to get back to you on that. We accountants aren’t known for our creativity.

  153. Dude, I am SO in. I finished the book last week and one of the Goodreads book clubs I belong to chose it for their book of the month but only like 4 people are posting and there is just not enough discussion about vampire cougars and zombie pugs and cow insemination going on over there.

    And I will definitely bring my horse, Captain Romeo Sugarbritches. But I should warn you that he is currently in a pissy mood because he did not qualify for the promotion to Major Sugarbritches so he may not really feel like participating in any book club discussions.

  154. I will most DEFINITELY be coming (assuming something doesn’t come up) and I will be bringing my pony, Sir Speedbump.

  155. I’d love to do this, but feel that there will be an overwhelming response to this, and that response (and the time difference) is scaring me away. So Jenny, if you’d ever like to come to Hawaii and do an in-person book club, I’d be happy to host you at my house and feed you (but not buy your plane tickets. I’m cheap that way). 🙂

  156. OMG! Jenny I recently bought a Kindle Fire and you were my FIRST! …UM book. I loved it!
    Funniest book I can remember reading. I wanna be in your book club.

  157. Oh hell yes! You’re blog has saved my sanity since I just recently lost both of my parents and moved to a new city and state. This little corner of the web has become my safe and insane haven(This and loljesus.com). I can’t wait for Tuesday!
    Can I have a unicorn pony please? I will name him Maurice Wigglebottum.

  158. So in… was so excited to meet you in Boston, and absolutely loved your book! I’m a fast reader but I’ll probably read it again! And my pony’s name… hmmmmm….. that’s a tough one. Pandas McSnuggles sounds good to me.

  159. I’m in (just finished it!) and I’m so glad I’ll be able to ask you the burning question in mind – how did Victor break his arm in Mexico, thus necessitating you to accompany him on a business trip and buy a dead alligator? See ya on Tues.

  160. I’m still waiting for a copy to become available at the library. I would be super pissed about having to wait but that just means that there are more people lining up to read it. (or is that just more cheap bastards like me who don’t like spending money?)

  161. My virtual pony’s name is Lady Sarah Jessica SparklePants. Named after the famous actress who does a outstanding job of looking like a horse.

  162. I am going to be so embarrassed if I have accidently double-posted here, but embarrassment is the new normal. For me, anyway. Actually, it’s the old normal, but I’ve just stopped fighting it. I think.

    To Kate W at 2:29: NO! How the heck would I find this “chatroom somewhere” that you propose?! and I made a Twitter account, but I can’t figure out how it works! So, no chatrooms, this comment stuff, at least I know how to do it.

    Me and my pony, Peaknuckle Sweetie Spud, will be here with virtual bells on!

  163. Signing up is worth if for the color picture of Rambo in his jams ALONE.


    I didn’t have to sign up for that.


  164. I want in but I don’t know if I’ll have access to the internets next week. I’m going on vacation. My pony’s name is still brewing.

  165. Yes, please, I want to join the virtual book club. Thanks for the pony – Rhubarb Atticus Baggins.

  166. Im in. My pony is named Bob. Or Fred. I haven’t decided yet so I’m calling him BobFred for now.

  167. I’m IN! I’m going to practice drinking in my pajamas tonight so I’m ready for Tuesday.

  168. I’m in. Got to get the book back from the kid so I can be “current” as if I ever was in any situation! Oh yeah, and the wine! I’ll practice ahead of time.

  169. Ooooooh can I join please? It’ll probably be Wednesday in Japan but I can still wear pyjamas and drink beer, I’ll just tell my students it’s an experiment in the human condition. Sorted!

  170. Yeah, I’m in. Co-worker (one of the few I like) told me she was reading this book and it totally reminded her of me. Exactly. I took it as a compliment.

  171. I am SO in!!!!!! It will a tank top and Diet Coke, but still…I AM IN!!!!

  172. I will be here with the book in one hand and LARGE drink that involves vodka. My pony, Claude, will also be there with a big bucket of vodka…

  173. Loved the book! We just finished if for my book club and I spent the whole time reading it laughing out loud! My Fiance thought I was crazy! My Grandma even loves this book! Couldn’t ask for more!

  174. I almost didn’t make it past the second sentence of this post. I’m currently struggling through a 3-week flare up of my anxiety/depression and right this moment I am seriously sitting in my pajamas and drinking a beer. And ironically, the only other post I’ve ever commented on was the post about the Unicorn Success Club. I suddenly don’t feel as crazy as I did 10 minutes ago.

  175. Finally a book club I can join! I can dress for success in my best PJ’s and drink from 7-8pm CST on a Tuesday – I am so in!

    I will bring virtual guacamole to go with the beer. The first thinkg I am going to do is send my unicorn to St. Bernard training school. Then I will have a uni-rescue-corn! I will love him and hug him and call him George….

  176. I’m in, along with my pony, Poodle…but I’m not convinced Carole will really make cookies.

  177. Me and my daughter will be there fer sure. She told me you’re her hero. You might be my hero , too. Or maybe Neil Patrick Harris – It’s a toss-up.

  178. I have purchased 4 copies of your book–1 for ME, 1 for my Mother and 2 for friends (all Texans even though I am currently and Ex-Pat living in San Francisco). Read it the first weekend I had it and HAD TO SHARE! Went to my book club last night and the ladies decided that YOUR BOOK will be the book for our club in JULY. Please consider coming to the party! Pretty, pretty please! My friend has a Jackalope head on her wall so you’ll feel at home! Love, LOVE the book AND YOU!!! *hug*

  179. I’m in! PeeDeeasaurus Rex, my little pony, will be a little late since her cocktail hour ends at 8:30.

  180. I’m an over-achiever & already read the book, then loaned it to my besty who also finished reading it. But I’m gonna join the club anyway b/c it was so good, I want to talk about it to random strangers on the internets.

  181. I’m buying the book tonight! I wanna be in the Unicorn Success Club too!!!! Right! When it’s 7-8 Central, what time will it be in BC? What are we, Pacific?

  182. This sounds like so much fun! And my hubby will be happy that I will have something to do besides make him listen to me read my favorite parts out loud to him LOL…

    Count me & my pony Bambino O’Houlihan in! And anyone else I can wrangle into it 😉

  183. Im in if I can work out what time that will be in Australia …I believe vodka is a breakfast food so I have no problem with the pyjama / alcohol binge part of the proceedings at all…I have your book but I bought it for my holidays in 3 weeks….actually looks like I didn’t…:)

  184. I’m totally in!!!! Loved the book and will read it again gladly. 🙂

  185. I want to join! I’ll have to see if I can next week, my mom is dragging me to Vegas (well, I’m not fighting it very hard), and it’s unlikely I’ll be able to break away until Wednesday, but I’d love to talk about your book with other people who’ve read it and loved it, too!

  186. I am totally in!!! Now to figure out the time change thingy (cause I stink at that).. I’m in CA.. I read it already (devoured it truly…) but I will have to get it back from my niece and read it again!

  187. I read it already, and now my 3rd friend is reading it. I would love to talk with you ONLINE about your book, as when I met you at the book signing in Atlanta, I went all tharn and all I could say was “I love you” and I don’t know what to say..LOL, amazing, as I usuakky talk to the world.

    Your book, and your blog is awesome, it makes me smile everytime I read it. I connect with you, as I have that same dark sense of humor, love zombies and horror, hate deppression, and my on going pain, and also say the wrong things. <3

  188. I don’t have to read your book cuz YOU read it to me!!! Audio book gotcha!!!

    p.s. there is a taxidermied elephant head outside me door at work.

  189. Sweet!

    I work during that time frame, so I won’t be TOO drunk (gotta drive home afterall, and that would just be IRRESPONSIBLE), but can’t wait to pretend I’m texting my boss while really screwing around on twitter. All in a day’s work, right?!

  190. I’m in. And I’ve already read it twice so I should be good. The last time was like 2 weeks ago anyway. I’ve pretty much forgotten it again. (Not kidding, as of this moment, I only remember laughing).

  191. I’m in! This is hands down the funniest book I have ever read. I was on the subway on my way to work yesterday, and I had just clicked on the “My Vagina Is Fine, Thanks For Asking” chapter, and at that moment, the guy sitting next to me just happened to glance over at the page. His face turned a shade of red I didn’t know existed in nature, probably because he was embarrassed at having just realized he had been very rude in neglecting to ask me about the health of my vagina. Thank you, Jenny, for saying it like it is, and in such a hilarious way.

  192. I have refused to join every book club I was ever invited to. Clearly, I was just waiting for this one. Cumulus T. Toadstool is in his virtual stall in the cookie jar, and I am trying to figure out how to make a wine slushie, so I’ll be ready.

  193. Oh! I hope I can remember this. 7pm central is 5pm out here. That means I will be on the train. I hope I don’t get cited for creating a public disturbance. My pony is Sir Dippity Dorkapus. He is very dignified, but he likes beer.

  194. I’m. Fucking. In.

    But i can’t promise not to be drunk and screaming something incoherent about llamas. I just can’t.



  195. I wish I wasn’t travelling next week. I’m totally joining every night I can.

  196. I am off to buy this for my kindle app so I can read it in my pjs, in bed, with a bottle of wine and a way over used plastic cup from…I think it was chili’s but its so faded its looking kinda porny. Then again I have had half a bottle of wine already. Thank you for saving me from cocaine. I might actually get something done if you didnt! See you Tuesday.

  197. I’m excited to join this. You may want to check out some of Chris Pirillo’s tech as to how he manages online broadcasts/tech conversations.

  198. Goody. I’m pretty sure there were plenty of things I wanted to ask you, and my own similar stories of odd things in my own childhood.

  199. I am sooooo in!! I have never chatted with strangers online before, but Jenny, you write the funniest shit EVER…..my pony….ummmm….Pernicious! & I will be there with pajamas AND bells on!!!!

  200. Looking forward to it! My virtual pony shall henceforth be named Aloysius (Giblets) Bufferton III. I went through the first two. Sorry. I’m a bad free virtual pony owner.

  201. Jenny, I just have to tell you that one of your readers just rocked my world. She’s going to be sending me a copy of your book because she saw an earlier post of mine. Tonight, I feel truly blessed. I’m thrilled to know that there are still amazingly good people in the world. 🙂 I’m totally in for the book club! Now I need to think of a name for my pony…

  202. Ok so I have the book and I’ve even read (most of) it. And I want to be part of the book club but I don’t do the twitter thing. Any options for the social media inept like me?

  203. I knew there was a reason I was waiting to read you book until I was on vacation. I’m in. My ponie’s name is Hiroshi Protagonist Duran Duran Morgan-Graham-Fox, though technically he’s a zombified winged unicorn. That’s ok, right? Also, I may invite few people over to join us. Wine slushies for all!

  204. I would like to join on Tuesday, but I have class on Wednesday and Thursday. Can I have excused absences and come back on Friday? I’ve already read the whole book (and given my sister a copy).

  205. This sounds like my kind of book club. I can’t handle another one where a bunch of women pick intentionally obtuse novels in an effort to seem more sophisticated and then sit around feigning enjoyment while sipping overpriced wine and wishing they were at home alone with a bubble bath and their dog-eared copy of Fifty Shades of Grey.

  206. I’m totally in! I just found your site a few months ago and HAD to get the book right away! I haven’t stopped talking about you, the book or your blog……..I definately want toe part of the book club and The Double Unicorn Success Club!

  207. Princess Conchita Glitterrumba & I shall attempt to attend whilst preparing the daily feast. My plan is to go with something simple that night.

  208. Yeah I will be sailing next Tues and I will tune in virtually (or, is that ‘virtually tune in’?) Do we get Double Unicorn Success Club tees? I can trade for a membership in my Super Raccoon Club…

  209. I absolutely ADORED the book… so much so that I read all it while recovering from a concussion… which probably wasn’t the best course of action because concentrating on deciphering words on a page gave me more of a headache, but it was too damn funny to put down. It also made me cry a little. In a good way.

  210. Ooooooh me me me me me!!!!!! For some bizarre reason I have 4 copies of your book?! Downloaded one on the iPad, bought my friend a copy but she had bought it the same day, another friend got a signed copy in Brookline mas for me and then my grandma bought me a copy. Btw grandma is 87 and loved your book, although it Is mildly disconcerting when your 87 year old grandma tells you how much she laughed at “that poor girl with her arm stuck in a cows vagina”.

    My pony is going to be called archibald and he is pink and wee’s glitter.

  211. I’m in and so is Victoria Cornwall Kadiddle Drops…my pony. Can’t wait! Yeah!!!

  212. I’ve actually been looking for a book club, but I was kinda afraid they’d be reading some serious crap, and I was also concerned there would be that one a-hole in the bunch who felt the need to hog the conversation and tell you how everything in the book relates to their great Aunt Martha’s life and their pet lizard named Jeebus. I’d be honored to be in your book club, Jenny, because even if you talked about your Aunt Martha or a lizard named Jeebus, it would be entertaining.

  213. Crap. I am sooo SOL. There are no available copies at the library (because we have one of the most freakin’ used libraries in the country), I don’t wear pajamas, let alone own any (’cause they’re hot, uncomfortable and if the house catches fire in the middle of the night—who wants to be seen wearing that shit?), I don’t like beer, and I already have 7 cats and three aquarium’s (plus a stray living under my shed and a family of raccoons trooping about stealing cat food and raiding the compost pile) that suck up all my extra love and energy—what the hell do I do with a virtual unicorn?

    Is it OK if I show up and just sit quietly? I’ll be the one naked under the robe covered in cat hair, sitting in the corner with a big bottle of wine (I’m not allowed to have bourbon any more. Or tequila. Or vodka.) pretending I have a virtual unicorn and that I’ve already read your book. But, my pretend virtual unicorn will be named after my cats. All of them. And probably after one of the raccoons, too.

  214. Ok… I shall buy this forsaken book and read it. And I shall laugh, dammit, I shall laugh. Even if it means I go to hell. Can I pay in whiskey please?

  215. I never, ever thought I’d laugh to the point of tears over a band-aid wrapper. Cross that off the bucket list…

  216. This book made me feel so much better about myself and my own painfully awkward social interactions. Last night at a party with 50 people I didn’t know, my name tag fell off my boob and landed on the (very large) butt of the woman in front of me. I had this moment of panic – do I try to sneakily peel it off? Or do I leave it and let her get home and wonder why “Hello My Name Is Lauren” stuck her name tag to her ass… I chose wrong.

  217. In!


    Cuz I suck at naming things.

    This is why I’m not a mother

  218. OH wow! Ponies, unicorns and The Bloggess! Tuesday nights are the new weekends!!! I’m SO in.

  219. I’m in too! My pony ran away, I’ll have to work on getting her back before Tuesday.

  220. Not connected, but just wanted to say I was recently trying to explain about you, beloved Bloggess, to someone of very brief acquaintance. It is hard to do you full justice and not have people slowly backing away and looking for escape routes…or maybe it’s just me?

  221. I will be on vacation at the beach next Tuesday with my whole family. Which means PLEASE count me in and send me some vodka! Is it 7:00 Texas time? What time is that in North Carolina? Now I’m anxious I’m going to miss it because I can’t tell time.

    My unicorn doesn’t have a name yet because I’m too rattled by the whole eastern/mountain time thing…

  222. it’s a good thing I forgot how to log in to post my blog, and decided to come see what was happening on The Bloggess! Might I make a suggestion? You might consider using “CoverItLive” for this…it’s a real time chat environment – and if you host you can post picture, run polls, and do all kinds of fun things during while everyone logging in can chat. Just a thought. Little easier to manage then the comments section on blog.

    Looking forward to it! Will read this weekend.

  223. I’m sooooo in. Your book is awesome! You’re giving me some much needed belly laughs during a health crisis that I’m having. Thank you, Jenny. If you tour anymore you must come to the Barnes and Noble in Louisville.

  224. Jenny, will you be doing this via Twitter AND comments? Just wondering where the best place to check in will be.

    And thank you for the color photos, they’re just not the same on my Kindle!

  225. Please count me in! I loved the book, which I read on my kindle, often at work where it was frowned upon to be actually laughing out loud while the patients were supposed to be sleeping. Plus, the thought that I will actually be a real member of the Double Unicorn Success Club is the highlight of my day (life). As Chelle asked above, is it 7:00 Texas time of real time (East Coast time)?

    PS Think about making car magnets for the DUSC. I would love to purchase one.

  226. Ooooh this is so happening! I’ll be sure to bring His Royal Highness, Sir Darius Seymour Ferdinand Frankfurter-Rosenthal as he is a tremendous fan.

  227. Hi, I may have an issue with children’s services because both my kids (12 and 14) love you Jenny. I’m reading the book to them as well (not because they can’t read, but because I’m not willing to give up physical custody of the book). It’s become the new standard in our home. IE: “That was messed up. But not as messed up as The Bloggess.” We now also compare everything to “a bathtub of baby racoons.” Can I send you my emergency room bill for the asthma attack I had laughing at the Racoon/soap incident?

  228. Totally in with this… at least I am going to try… I have the memory of a goldfish. I have signed up for so many webinars this summer already and totally forgot about them until I get the “Sorry we missed you” e-mail from them. I hope your site is ready to handle the bombardment of traffic that it will receive from 7-8 next week. haha 🙂 I love how you are willing to do this sort of thing with your fans. You’re awesome, Jenny!

  229. Really loved your book. My friend recommended it to me and then I became suspicious that it was a thinly veiled reference to my own inappropriate usage of the words vagina and f… in most conversations. I haven’t finshed the book yet, but have already recommended it to 3 different people. I don’t make a habit of recommending a book until I’ve finished it because the ending may suck so bad that I regret ever having read it (The Horse Whisperer). However, even if the end of your book sucks (I’m on page 175), the preceeding pages have been so amazingly funny!

  230. Fun! I read the whole book in May, but I’ve already been thinking about re-reading it since I wound up suggesting it as the summer book for my work bookclub afterward.

  231. I was reading your book (the hardcover ’cause i’m a purist) at my son’s t-ball practice. I looked like a total snob until I killed a bug on it- then I was really upset because I have the signed book plate and I told my husband, “well so much for the value”- seriously it had to be like the juiciest gnat ever that smeared on my page. i had to- that gnat was a total asshole.

  232. What, no endorsement blurb from Mr. Wheaton?

    Yes, I’m in. I’ll bring cookies.

  233. I have “the Twitter” but I really don’t know how to use it. So thanks for having the option to do this via comments too! I will mark this event on my calendar, in pen!

  234. Funniest. Fucking. Book. Ever. I have never laughed out loud more times, I have never wanted to ask someone if this was their penis, and now I know that mothballs keep away snakes. You, my dear, are my BFF in the virtual world.

  235. I’d enjoy doing the book club, but can’t afford to buy the book. I’m on the waiting list at the library, so I’ll have to be content to read it after 123 other people. (That’s good, right? You’re very popular here!)

  236. About half way through your book. I never read your blog before. The book is HYSTERICAL and wonderful. Thank you… just love it. Don’t exactly remember how I can across it, but OMG hilarious!

  237. Read it on the plane a few weeks ago….I was crying I was laughing so hard….my husband looked over and was all “WHAT ARE YOU READING” with a snarky look on his face. I love you Jenny Lawson. So much.

  238. Hi Jenny,

    I Just thought you should know that I love your blog so much that I actually *bought* your book. Like, no shit, legit walked into an actual bookstore, and paid cover price (in dollars, no less. They were entirely disinclined to barter me for the empty beer cans, fresh baked croissants, or old – but still usable! – shotgun shells rolling around my car (full disclosure – I’m a Texan with a French mom; I admit, it creates a rather…eclectic…range of interest)). Anyway, I’ve gotten entirely distracted from my main point, which was that I gave you real legit American money for your book. Which I *never* do. Cause I’m a poor student, who justifies my literary online piracy on the grounds that I’m broke, a student, and it’s intellectually stimulating. (except that I guess that excuse doesn’t work anymore, because I have a job now, I just graduated, and most of what I read is shitty scifi and fantasy).

    Whatever. The POINT is that I gave you money.* Because even though I don’t know you, I apparently love you.


    *Wow. I think I actually just made you sound like a prostitute, and not a friend.**

    **Oh well. All my coolest friends are prostitutes anyway.

  239. This will be a good way for me to spend some time while working from home.

  240. Oh, I am so in for #BloggessBookClub! I’ll bring my pony, Catherine the Great. Make sure there’s plenty of virtual hay for her.
    Also, I’ve just finished your book but I’ve got such a terrible memory I can read it again from the beginning and it’ll all seem brand new like you’ve just published the sequel. Hint hint.

  241. I have read your book and laughed so hard. I want to be in your book club. Have to work out the time difference for this side of the pond, or just keep pressing refresh on twitter til it comes up.

  242. This idea is so awesome it might actually make me get a twitter account!

  243. Love this book and love the idea of a book club! You are amazing and make me Furiously Happy Jenny Lawson!

  244. I’ll be here with bells on. Not that you’d actually HEAR the bells, but all the same…

    Oh! Miss Gooberella Sneezehorn (my pony) will be sitting next to me. She likes to add snide comments so please excuse her in advance.


  245. We’re in! My daughter Moira read it to me on our recent 1,000 mile drive to Vermont for vacation — and then again on the way back. This book rocks, and it made a horrendous traffic jam in Cleveland … well it didn’t help the traffic jam at all, but at least I comforted myself with the knowledge that I have never had a dead deer sweater.

  246. I read the book immediately, posted it as many times as I could on my FB page, pinned, tweeted, discussed it with strangers, stuffed deer heads and now as a bonus one of my co-workers loaned me the audiobook which is even funnier (if that is conceivably possible) than reading the book. Can’t wait to talk amongst ourselves…choose a topic.

  247. Me too, me too!
    This might be the biggest book club EVAR, and i am already laughing at the comments for the Big Metal Chicken (aka Beyonce) even though we haven’t even started yet. Because, you know they’re going to be awesome.
    where do I pick up my pony, and how can I hide it from my husband?

  248. Yes, yes, yes!!! I want to join! What fun to find out about your book club before Tuesday. I started your book yesterday and would have finished it already if I hadn’t been so busy making meat hand puppets. How could anybody stop after only 2 chapters? I will be finished with it well before Tuesday. This is definitely getting recommended to my other book clubs. Look for a huge spike in sales from BookSmart in Morgan Hill. You are SO #$%*ing funny (and I don’t even curse).

  249. I scored the.last.copy. at my local B&N today just so I could join. I shall be the one snuggled up on the couch in my jammies with a daiquiri and a couple of cats. Ponies don’t belong on couches. Chuck will be blissfully unaware of the book club while grazing. After all, he is a clueless trophy-horse.

  250. Can’t wait to join the book club Jenny! Semi unrelated note: I have a blog on wordpress where I sometimes interview those who are inspiring and you are definitely inspiring. You no doubt have a million requests right now but my little blog that could would be honoured if you’d consider an interview. Tweet @bringforthwp or e-mail if you are even remotely interested. I know it’s a long shot but it feels great to even ask!

  251. I am totally in!!! I read your book and loved it! I read most of it on a plane. I was laughing so hard that I was crying. The part with the swim diaper really got me. I am pretty sure that some of the people around me thought I might have been very, very upset about something until my husband told them I was fine-it’s just a book she is reading. Can’t wait!

  252. omg Jenny…i’m so in!! I love the book and am almost finished with it, but will sooooo read it again!

  253. Jenny, I allowed my boss to read on the plane to a big deal conference. We entertained fellow riders, or annoyed depending on asshole qualities, so much that we were recognized at the hotel by someone who heard us laughing. I can’t wait!

  254. Well, I knew that sooner or later something would force me onto Twitter, although I’ve effortlessly ingnored up to now. There must be a planetary aspect hanging over my head for the last few weeks since it was only a few days ago that I broke down and joined Facebook after my weight loss support group threatened my further delays and excuses with dire consquences. However, the chance to interact with Jenny Lawson and her other fans about her book is totally awesome and nothing at all like being requested, by someone I absolutely loathe, to be friends–sans irony and sans sanity. So technology wins but so do I!

  255. i’m stranded in tx. and i do love your blog. i’m not a complete shut-in; but i want-to-be, and that’s what counts. wtf – is with this ‘book club’ let me in thing? it doesn’t go w/anything i’ve come to believe in. Jenny you’re like santa, the tooth fairy, the easter bunny – okay Jenny L not only does clubs, she has one. . . and then i woke up. of course i bought your book, i want in/out of your club. i won’t pretend to fit in. at your own risk, you move forward. are you scared or are we okay?

  256. I am in! I just got your book this weekend at Powell’s in Portland and read it aloud to my husband on a two hour drive until my voice gave out because it was easier than stopping to reread sections because he was getting mad at me for laughing so hard.

  257. This is going to be SOOOOOOO much better than the Oprah book club. It will be wonderful to discuss it with people who aren’t my husband who just look at me with a blank stare and i try to read him portions through my hysterical laughter. Men.

  258. I’m in. Gave four copies of your book away in a contest on my blog, bought a fifth for myself. So I’m in.

    As long as I don’t have to take a bath in a bathtub full of racoons.

  259. sparklepants?? You totally stole my pony’s name but I’m still in. Saw your book in an airport book store and am certain I would have been responsible for an incident on the plane involving some sort of cheap plastic restraint had I bought it and read right then. Haven’t laughed out loud like this in a long time I will follow you to the light, the bookstore., the bookclub, the liquor store…..

  260. Seriously?! I’m in. My husband and I read each other your book in the evenings. Solid. Gold.

  261. So…ummmm…yeah…I did finally start the book. I’m the one who is afraid to start books because I get really sad about needing to finish them…like sad because they are over and I will miss them.

    Fake wood paneling.

    I cannot wait for this book club to start. It will be like a support group for me when we are done with the book. People won’t mind if I get weepy, right?

  262. Colour me in and in honour of the occassion I shall commence pre-drinking now in preparation of the event!

  263. Booze, PJ’s, a lifetime membership to the Double Unicorn Sucess Club? AND a book that makes me laugh so hard I cry? I AM SO IN! 🙂

  264. Yours was the first book that I’ve suggested for book club, and the first book that we’ve read that EVERYONE loved! We spent more time discussing your book than any other we’ve read. Thank you for making me look awesome to my fellow book club members!! Now what the hell am I supposed to do the next time it’s my turn to suggest a book!?! Oh, and I’ll be here Tuesday. 🙂

  265. Hi Jenny,
    I apologize in advance for asking this here, I just don’t know where else to reach you.
    Anyway… I’ve had this question eating me up that because I live in Massachusetts nobody has been able to answer in the last 10 years. Reading your book (actually listening) I figured you might be able to answer or at least ask around for me. Here it goes: “How can a state be against abortion AND for death penalty at the same time?”
    PS: my name is not Heidi (I just like it better), but the e-mail is the good one, not the junk one.

    (You’d have to ask a Republican. ~ Jenny)

  266. I cannot read this book in public places. I have this totally inappropriate thing that I do when I laugh too hard….. It turns into sobbing. Ugly cry sobbing. I was a bit embarrassed by this at the dentist the other day.
    Bahahasob…. Basketti…..

  267. i wanna play, too!
    and, yay ~ i’ve always wanted a pony.
    the book was fabulous.
    i laughed so loud my family sent me to my room.
    and yay ~ i’ve always wanted to be sent to my room.
    i will call my pony Biden because well Virtual Poney = VP = well, that’s pretty much it.

  268. I love the book! It brought me out of a bout of depression that I was going through back in April… Count me in! I’ll even wear my ‘Heroin Kitties’ shirt that I bought from your store… 😀

  269. I’m so in! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who’s ever run in to a skinned deer (for real). Those of you who didn’t grow up with a father with a gun cabinet and a garage full of dead animals don’t know how lucky you are. Or, after reading this awesome book, maybe you do.

  270. I want in, but I need help… first of all, what is a blog? Am I reading a blog right now? As far as I know, I’m still on a website about the book. Do I need a blog to participate? My husband is pissed at me for keeping him awake all night on account of the bed shaking what with the laughing, wheezing and snorting, (I kept thinking I could control myself so I refused to get up) that’s how much I loved this book. But I just started using facebook a few months ago and I think I still might be missing the point, not to mention that until recently I thought that twitter had something to do with birds. Am I even ready to blog? Someone help me because I really want to play too!

  271. I read the book and loved it. I totally loved it and laughed OUT LOUD a lot.

  272. Jenny, After reading your book I’ve come to the conclusion that you are me in 5-10 years (or I am you 5-10 years ago. I don’t know how it works). Anyway… I haven’t decided if this is a good thing because there are people like me out there or if it’s a bad thing because I just realized that I am bat shit crazy. Therefore I am goin to start reading your blog so that I can find out what my future holds. And I’m in for the bookclub… The end.

  273. Holy cow, there are a lot of members to this book club. I hope I can keep up with the comments! I don’t have a copy yet, but I’m going to check the library first thing Monday! I hope I can make it, I’m eastern time and that means my hubby will be coming home right in the middle of the meeting. I’m definitely excited about you reading the book on YouTube! Can’t wait for Tuesday. Btw, my pony will be called Miss Humpfrey Hormonious.

  274. I have been looking forward to Tuesday all week because it will be my first prenatal CHECKUP!
    Hopefully it will confirm that my new baby will be half human half vampire!!! But now I’m truly
    going to be looking forward to tues because I might can finally interact with my fav. Bloggess!

  275. I would love to join this book club; it will give me a good excuse to re-listen to it again since my short-term and long-term memory sucks and I currently only remember that I listened to it twice and that I loved it, but not much else.

  276. I have read the book twice, bought 4 copies of it and given away 3 of those copies so I would Love to be involved!!

  277. I shall name my pony Sparkly McSparkletoes. I will send him to the book club in my place, as I have class that night (boo). I hope he takes better notes this time. Last time I asked him to take notes for me he lost his disembodied hobo finger right away. All I got for notes were pages of “jkvh wehbgfcuhjswbgdvyihsdbvghyivxb.” Damn ponies. My dog could’ve done that well, and she’s stupid!

  278. Yay! I’m going to name my pony Elmer. And I finished the book, but can’t wait to join the discussion, since my friends are lame and haven’t gotten their copies yet.

    QUESTION: Why did you acknowledge/thank Wil Wheaton, but not mention him in the book?

  279. Im in. Love the book! Friday night I convinced my book club to choose your book for our July read. Double bonus!

  280. I’m nearly finished with the book, I have been avoiding the last chapter as I don’t want it to be over, either (as someone else had commented they’re doing as well!) If I’m awake at 1am here in London, I will gladly wake up Dr Han Khank Jones, my virtual pony, and bring him along to the book club! Love this idea!

  281. Umm, so let me get this straight. Next Tuesday night we come Here and scroll aaaalll the way down to post a comment, then refresh the page repeatedly, like Truly insane people (scrolling aaaalll the way down each time to see if Jenny has spoken to us yet again/see the convo/post another comment which will inevitably be “old news” and I’ll never find your response after I refresh again in the sea of ever-continuing comments) to “have a conversation” that’s only somewhat close to real-time if you…are on a different universe where you have über-quick and genius capabilities? I’ll pass…beyond cumbersome. Especially from my internet source?(iPhone), but have fun! Too bad they couldn’t put a chat room (in a format that would be accessible by mobile users too–which does exist) on this page for you. ???? Know you’ve got connections. Why not work them?

    (I’m checking on that possibility but it doesn’t look super easy. Still working on it though. ~ Jenny)

  282. @Heidi @Jenny here’s a conservative to the rescue to provide the obvious answer to your question. Abortion=an innocent BABY being KILLED; death penalty=for a cruel dangerous person.
    And I’m not inviting discussion on the matter. A question was asked and I simply an providing the answer. Once again Jenny I suggest you stay away from commenting/advocating on political issues and therefore becoming a divisive (and derisive, to many) figure. It will hurt you more than it will help you, I can promise you that…you’ll so Very seriously and deeply put off many fans, to the point that they will no longer Be fans nor even want to See your name again. You’re an escape for us. Introduce your political opinions (and therefore anger many) and you’re no longer going to be that for us.
    With loving concern,

  283. Sooooo, I’m a little behind – is the chat on the book going to be here or on GoodReads?

  284. Your book was a million times funnier than Sedaris’s’s’s’s or Fey’s books. Way. I laughed so hard that I TOTALLY paid for not doing kegels before, during, or after any of my pregnancies. Or ever. I woke the kids up constantly and when they wouldn’t go back to sleep, I blamed you.

    I blamed you.

  285. ok i’m not joining a club, i’m in too many clubs already, introvert club, rv lovin club, Christianity, simple living, veganism, curmudgeons anonymous, ok, what the hell is another club among all these clubs?

  286. I would like to join. I have always wanted to be part of a bookclub, but it’s too much commitment and I feel like this one won’t be. …not because I am not loyal or committed. I don’t know. By the way, about a month ago I told my students I bought them all free ponies and they were waiting for them on the playground. They didn’t totally fall for it, but you could see in there cute little eyes that they wanted to.

  287. I already have the version sold in America, but after seeing the UK version, now I think that America definitely needs more WHIMSY! And glitter. But hasn’t that always been the case? I suppose this is why we have you.

    Still, why didn’t they give those of us stuck here in America a cover with more Whimsy AND Glitter?!?? Did they think we’d all squee from the excitement, rise up and make you Queen?!?! You’re already the Czar! WTF, publishers?! Trust Americans with the WHIMSY!

  288. Just made a post about a funny children’s book (really for parents, not the kids) but for any parent who has ever had trouble getting toddler’s to bed….pretty funny.

  289. @Jenny @Coleen
    Sorry, didn’t mean to put anyone on the spot or turn this into a political discussion (hate them). I was motivated by shear curiosity.

  290. Just finished your book this morning Jenny. I think there’s a very serious possibilty I may have strained my bladder sphincter from trying not to pee myself I laughed so hard (squeezing out two small people is not great for the old bladder control!). I’ve been reading parts out to my other half which I have to say is proving time consuming. You can’t really begin quoting from a book with the sentence “I’m totally pro-same-sex-licking” without then having to fill in the back story. I could barely breathe trying to get through filling him on on pirate pugs. I’ve concluded he’ll have to stop being a lazy fucker and just read the god damn book himself!

    Thank you for a great read!

  291. I needed to create you one little bit of word so as to say thank you again about the incredible basics you’ve featured above. This is certainly shockingly open-handed of you to provide publicly exactly what most of us could have distributed for an electronic book to make some profit on their own, even more so considering the fact that you could have done it in the event you desired. The concepts also worked like the great way to be aware that most people have the identical fervor the same as my own to learn a lot more when considering this problem. Certainly there are millions of more pleasant sessions ahead for individuals that view your blog.


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