Amazon knows me too well and it’s insulting and also costing me money.

You know how Amazon recommends stuff to you based on stuff you’ve bought or liked?  Well, here are a few things Amazon thought I’d like this month: A pillow with the words “HORSE PENIS” on it. It comes in eight different  colors and on the bottom of the pillow it says: “The words ‘horse penis’Continue reading “Amazon knows me too well and it’s insulting and also costing me money.”

The awesomeness of Amazon, part 3

Um…Ow.  Have you tried just rubbing them?  Because they’re only going to retreat further if they see that coming.  And no, I don’t care if you did “warm it up in the oven first”.  Put it away, asshole. 

The awesomeness of Amazon, part 2

This is the most awesome thing I’ve seen all morning.  Not the fact that Amazon is selling uncooked headless rabbits that look disturbingly like freshly skinned kittens, but that the “sponsored link” on the cook-your-own-dead-bunny page is this:   Awesomeness. (You can read “the awesomeness of Amazon, part 1” here.)

And one to grow on

Hello and welcome to year 11 (ELEVEN?!) of the James Garfield Miracle! What is the James Garfield Miracle, you ask? You must be new here. Welcome! It’s basically a day celebrating the time I bought a jolly taxidermied boar which morphed into a day where parents who are really struggling can get a present forContinue reading “And one to grow on”

Broken

Broken (in the best possible way) Coming in April 2021, a book about not just dealing with, but celebrating the strange and broken parts of ourselves. Want to preorder it? Amazon Barnes & Noble IndieBound Nowhere Bookshop Bookshop Books-a-Million iBooks Audible Libro “ARE YOU TOURING?” YES. Sort of. But better. Click here to get aContinue reading “Broken”

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