I just tried on an ankle-length bathing suit and when my friend (Laura) asked me how it looked I had to tell her I looked too fat in it. We have reached new lows, America.
But then I came out of the dressing room and Laura explained that the part I was wearing as a belt was supposed to be around my boobs and then I felt fat and stupid. Plus, I broke a sweat just trying on clothes and then I was all “MOTHERFUCKER, HOW OUT OF SHAPE DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO NEED A REST IN BETWEEN TRYING ON SWIMSUITS?” Answer: Pretty damn out of shape. Then I moved one of the outfits left in the room by the woman before me and found this underneath it:
And I smiled, silently gave the graffiti woman a virtual high five, and felt for a quick moment, so much less alone.