First off, did you see the solar eclipse this weekend? Because I did and it was awesome, except that I couldn’t get a picture of it. But I could see the eclipse in the shadows of the tree leaves, like tiny unicorn hooves. The video shows it better than I could explain it:
Also, I noted in the comments that Victor doesn’t normally sound like that but that he was doing a caveman and then I had to go back and clarify that I meant that he was doing an impression of a caveman, not actually doing a caveman and that probably wasn’t a needed clarification but I was a little flustered because right after this a neighbor was walking by with a dog and they stared at me and I realized that I was crouched in the middle of the street, totally focused on making videos of the asphalt and so I was like, “DID YOU SEE THE ECLIPSE?” and pointed at the sun, which totally looked like a normal sun if you weren’t wearing the special glasses that let you stare directly at it. And he was like, “Um…no” and left very quickly and then I realized that I’d used the wrong word and for some reason had said “DID YOU SEE THE CYCLOPS?” while staring at the sun. Why did I say “cyclops”?No fucking idea.
Secondly, I very much appreciated the suggestions for horror movies and I am currently watching SLOTHERHOUSE, which is a sorority house slasher movie where the villain is an actual sloth and it is just awful, which I sort of love.
It’s Friday and that means you need to step into my office so I can show you all the videos I’ve saved for you, because you need some distraction. Ready? Let’s go:
Psst. Just a couple of things that don’t fit anywhere else.
First off, are you in Pennsylvania? ME TOO!
Well, not right now…but I will be super soon because I’m going to the Harrisburg Book Festival to do an event with Samantha Irby and Kate Baer on Sunday (October 22nd) because I love them both. It’s free and open to the public so come visit. There’s a signing afterward if you buy a book from the Midtown Scholar Bookstore and there’s a signed book bundle available if you’re interested. Come say hi.
Secondly, I’m not sure how it happened but somehow my little one-year art project substack that I started a few weeks ago is one of the top art substacks and it’s really helping me stay on track with being creative, so thank you! I’ve been randomly picking subscribers to send little one-minute sketches or signed art books but when I email people from my personal email (jenny @ thebloggess.com) I don’t always get a response so maybe check your spam every so often because I’m going to continue to pick random people for giveaways every month.
Third…I don’t remember what the third thing was. Fuck.
Fourth…it’s Halloween month and I need horror movie recommendations.
Fifth, yesterday I ate something tart and rich and it made my cheeks cramp something awful and Victor said that was not something that happens to normal people, so I’m taking an informal poll. Do your cheeks (near the back of your jaw) spasm painfully when you eat lemon pie? Am I just weird?
me: Hang on. I think I have something that will fit.
me: Aha. Made it better.
Victor: Agree to disagree.
UPDATED: First off, Boni Mitchell is the perfect name for this doll. Well done, y’all. Also, several people asked for before and after pictures. As you wish:
Someone asked me recently why Dorothy Barker hasn’t been posing next to my book club picks the last few months and the truth is that she has developed an occasional uncanny suspicion of books. Why? No fucking idea. The vet seems to think she may have early-onset doggie dementia (she’s getting a little nuts, seeing thing that aren’t there, etc) and maybe this is just part of that or that maybe she’s just neurotic (join the club, dog). I tried to take a picture of her with this month’s Fantastic Strangelings book and she gave me a look like she was going to barf and then started slowly backing out of the room.
And I thought that maybe she was just self-conscious because she hadn’t had a bath in awhile, because she’s also become afraid of water and bites the shit out of me whenever I put her in the bath (Thank God for tiny teeth) so I gave her snuggles and snacks and tried again.
Have you ever seen a dog give a book the nervous side-eye? Well, now you have. I almost got a good picture and then Rolly was like, “CAN I HELP?” and Dottie used that distraction to slunk off and growl at the non-existent thing in the corner.
Anyway, I don’t have a good picture and I’m starting to worry that our house is haunted and our dog is psychic but please know that this month’s Fantastic Strangelings Book Club pick is fantastic and not possessed in the slightest.
It’s Shoot the Moon by Isa Arsén, a page-turning, genre-bending novel. Time is fractured in this story of a woman’s life set against the development of the atomic bomb and efforts to land the first man on the moon. It’s about love, science, grief, family, the space-time continuum, curiosity, exploration and more. AND it’s by a local San Antonio author so she’s going to sign yours personally before we mail it to you. Whoop!
Need more than one book to get you through the month? I GOT YOU, FRIEND.
Here are few new October releases that I read and enjoyed:
Lay Them to Rest: On the Road with the Cold Case Investigators Who Identify the Namelessby Laurah Norton – A fascinating deep dive into the dark world of forensic science as experts team up to solve the identity of an unknown woman named “Ina Jane Doe,” exploring the rapidly evolving techniques scientists are using to break the most notorious cold cases. If you like true crime, I highly recommend it.
A Haunting on the Hill by Elizabeth Hand – The first-ever authorized novel to return to the world of Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House: a suspenseful, contemporary, and terrifying story of longing and isolation all its own.
HERC by Phoenicia Rogerson – A queer retelling of the story of Hercules from the perspective of his friends, enemies, wives, children, lovers and victims.
The Night House by Jo Nesbø – A very strange Norwegian psychological horror. I realize this list a bit horror heavy but it’s October so it’s to be expected, right?
The Reformatory by Tananarive Due – This one is not for the faint of heart. A haunting novel set in Jim Crow Florida that follows a young child as he’s sent to a segregated reform school that is a chamber of terrors where he sees the horrors of racism and injustice, for the living, and the dead.
Three things I saw today that I still have questions about:
This car –
2. What I saw when I just walked into my office:
ENHANCE.ENHANCE.ENHANCE.
I dunno, y’all. He’s orange.
And 3. This ad that was just suggested to me:
Because first of all, what. Secondly…WHY IS THIS PAJAMAS? I’m almost tempted to buy it because I sort of love the idea of surprising Victor when he unexpectedly finds me laying in bed wearing this, but I’m worried that he’d leave me. Not like, divorce me, but just physically leave the room to sleep on the couch and then I’d be trapped because I’m pretty sure once I’m laying down in full creepy book mascot form I won’t be able to stand back up again without help. Also, $400 seems like too much to spend on pajamas, although it would probably muffle my snoring and also I could put a flashlight inside and then pull my arms in to read in bed without bothering anyone. So technically this would be like a present for Victor AND TOMORROW IS HIS BIRTHDAY.
Hmm…yeah. Gotta go think about this one some more.
Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.
The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”. Often irreverent, always honest.
Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.
Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.
Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.
Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.
How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.
The Family Skeptical Podcast: We’re an atheist couple raising two children – we ask big questions, dissect weird parenting moments, and are jealous that our cats get so much sleep.
Beautiful Writers book: Writers! This coming-of-career memoir (w/ the BEST advice from celeb authors, real shit you haven’t heard) is life. A page-turning beach read doubling as how-to. #Magic
Sarah Linn on Medium: Humorist or unstable person with an internet connection? You decide.
Uncommon Creatures Digital Portraits: Animal art inspired by Earth’s most magical creatures. Got your own beloved pet you’d like to memorialize? Have no fear… let me turn your fur-baby into a work of art.
