Category Archives: Random Crap

The other day I was walking Dorothy Barker at night and I saw what I thought was the silhouette of a possum crossing the road but it looked sort of weird and that’s because this possum had 8 legs and I was like, JESUS CHRIST HOW FUCKING BIG DO SPIDERS GET? So I went insideContinue reading “When did the pound symbol stop being the pound symbol? I blame twitter.”

This week we were in Hawaii for a few days and it was really nice although I’m still fighting this depression so I spent a lot of time just resting in my room, but one time I went to the ice machine and there was this British couple there who was adorable and I wasContinue reading “Bad crack”

Victor and I have been married for over 20 years and still we find ourselves using phrases that the other person swears we’ve just made up even though we each insist that it is a well-known family idiom and that’s why I need to see if either of us are right. So here are theContinue reading “We don’t speak the same language even when we’re speaking the same language”

This post won’t be funny or entertaining but it’s honest and sometimes that’s all I have. I’ve been in a depression for bit. I thought I was sick and maybe I am and it caused the depression or maybe I was depressed enough that it looked like illness, and the terrible thing about depression mixedContinue reading “Help.”

My friend Maile gave me one of those mini build-your-own-bonsai-tree kits for my birthday and it actually sprouted and is still alive, but when I was bragging about Leafer Sutherland and how proud I was of growing my son, the tree, someone was like, “Actually, looks like you’ve grown six of them and you needContinue reading “I can’t handle this kind of pressure.”