Conversation between me and Victor:
me: I wish you’d say more romantic things to me.
Victor: Fine. Shall I compare you to a summer’s eve?
me: It’s “a summer’s day.” Summer’s Eve is a douche.
Victor: Oh. Right.
me: Although, technically I think I’d rather be compared to a douche. I mean, compared to a douche I am FANTASTIC. How would I measure up to a summer’s day? Summer’s days are hot and awesome, and – truth be told – I’m not sure I’d pass that test.
Victor: I don’t even know what to say here.
me: Awesome. Now I’m feeling only slightly better than douche. You know what? Just never be romantic again.
Victor: Not a problem.