Victor and I discussing Game of Thrones (or as I call it, “Wait, who is that again? Who’s that guy? WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE? WHAT IS HAPPENING?“):
me: I don’t even understand why everyone is fighting for that knifey throne. It looks bad-ass but it bet it’s incredibly uncomfortable. If I were a King I’d sit in a hammock.
Victor: That doesn’t quite establish fear like a throne made of hundreds of swords.
me: I wouldn’t be afraid of a King who was sitting in a chair made of swords. I’d think that he used up most of his swords making furniture. But if I was a King sitting in a hammock then invading armies would be like, “Is that King in a hammock? Where are all the swords that most Kings melt down to make into ottomans and shit? This is weird. Let’s run away quickly.”
Victor: “Game of Hammocks.” Doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.
me: It’d be one of those hammocks that have fringe on the bottom, but the fringe would be made out of the fingers of my enemies.
Victor: Not imposing enough. me: Hmm. The fingers and penises of my enemies. Victor: Closer. But still not enough.
me: Fine. Then I guess I’d make a knifey chair like the Game of Thrones one. But I’d also want it to be a recliner. And to have a massage feature. Although I suspect that would probably just massage the blades into your body, now that I think about it.
Victor: Like a Lazy-Boy made of electric carving knives. me: Fuck it. I don’t want to be King anymore. I really just want a hammock.
Victor: Well, I’m glad we settled that.
me: I have simple tastes. Penis fringe optional.
PS. Go back up and click on that Game of Thrones link on the top. You’ll thank me. Probably.