So Victor emailed me this picture:
…And I was like, “Jesus, that fox ate a shitload of cats. WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SEND THAT TO ME, VICTOR?” and Victor was like, “What? WHY WOULD YOU AUTOMATICALLY THINK THAT? It’s the same cat in every picture. They’re friends. What is wrong with you?”
But then I was even more mad because I’d been feeling all self-righteous because I’m not the jerk sending his wife multiple pictures of the moments before a family of cats were massacred and now I’m the asshole. Apparently.
Although technically it’s not on video so you can’t prove that this fox isn’t having an all-you-can-eat cat buffet. Just saying.
PS. Fuck. Apparently there is a video. So I am the asshole. But still, maybe the fox is just playing with the cat before eating it. Because guess who else plays with their food before eating it? CATS. Maybe this cat killed a mouse who was the foxes best friend and now the fox is like, “You killed Jo-Jo? Oh yeah, fucker? NOW THIS IS HAPPENING.” I mean, it’s unlikely but it’s also unlikely that a fox is best friends with a cat so at this point all bets are off. Victor says this doesn’t prove that I’m not an asshole because now I’m just going through scenarios trying to prove that a bunch of cats have been murdered in some sort of foxen revenge vendetta. That doesn’t make me an asshole, Victor. It makes me a realist. I blame all of this on my pessimism when it comes to foxen. That’s the real asshole here.
PPS. One ox, two oxen. One fox, two foxen. Foxen is a real world. Stop questioning me, spellcheck.