I was just at the drug store and as I was leaving the cashier said, “Thanks. I hope you find your destiny.” And I didn’t know how to respond because it’s a nice thought but if it’s your destiny you can’t not find it. That’s how destiny works. So maybe the nicer thing to say would be, “I hope you find your destiny to be rewarding and full of cheese and puppies or whatever it is you’re personally into“? That’s probably too long but it still seems preferable to the “Have a nice day” sign-off because that’s always seemed sort of bossy. You can’t tell me what kind of a day to have. I’ll have whatever kind of day my destiny has in store for me. OMG FULL CIRCLE.
Then I tried to explain all of this to Victor and he was like, “STOP TEXTING ME.” But I can’t, Victor. Because destiny.
Long story short: None of this is my fault.
PS. I don’t have a picture for this so I’m going to share this photo of Hunter S. Thomcat:
I’ve been trying to teach him tricks to burn off a little fluff but he refused because Dorothy Barker was lapping him and people were all “You can’t teach a cat tricks because they refuse to look stupid” and I was like, don’t underestimate my cat, y’all.
And then people were like, “You taught your cat to eat cat food? That’s not a trick. That’s how cats survive.” But you just couldn’t see in the photos that Hunter was totally standing up for the treats. So he’s building up his core.
He’s looking thinner already. Thinner and ridiculous.
PPS. Those are his knees. Not his balls. It’s weird I have to clarify that.