So the solar eclipse is in a few days and I waited too long so all the glasses you can view the sun with are sold out. I went to Amazon to see the safest thing that was still available to stare at the sun behind and they were like, “YEAH. HOW ABOUT SOME BLACK-OUT CURTAINS”.
The good news though is that when everyone else is looking up at the sky I’ll be able to keep my eyes out for the lizard man:
