Site icon The Bloggess

Insomnia thinks it’s my best friend.

I have chronic insomnia and in some ways it’s fine since most of my work gets done at 2am because I can’t sleep because my mind keeps reminding me of the time I accidentally ate a live fly in front of my 7th grade crush, or the time I literally peed my pants in public because I was hesitantly reaching out to touch a terrifying animatronic full-sized Santa that I suspected was filled by a serial killer and someone grabbed me from behind and screamed “HE’LL EAT YOUR FACE OFF!”  (I was 40 and it was Victor.)

In other ways though, insomnia is a total asshole and I would like it to go away so I’m asking you, what are your best techniques to fall asleep?

PS. It seems only fair that I share what works for me.  Mild prescription narcolepsy meds for when my days fully become nights, listening to the Sleep with Me podcast guy bore me to sleep, walking at night, using a light therapy machine in the morning to reset my clock, a heating pad on my feet because they’re always cold and it makes me claustrophobic to wear socks, stress relief tea and gas station turkey.

PPS.  That’s a link to the light therapy machine I bought two years ago but maybe there are better ones out now.  Also, my gas station has great turkey.  It’s sort of famous for it.  Don’t just eat random gas station turkey.  You will not sleep well.

Your turn.

Hunter S. Thomcat totally rubbing his easy sleep and his testicles in my face. Metaphorically, obviously.
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