Hailey: Today we’re performing our play in front of the school.
me: McBeth?
Hailey: MOM. YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY THAT WORD.
me: Which word? McBeth?
Hailey: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? It’s considered very bad luck to say the name of that play. It’s worse than saying “Good luck.” You’re supposed to say “The Scottish play.”
me: But you say “McBeth” in the play over and over. He’s like the main dude.
Hailey: OMG STOP SAYING IT. And it’s fine to say in the play. Just not before. And it’s especially unlucky to say the witches lines.
me: YOU ARE LITERALLY THE WITCH IN MCBETH. I’ve heard you practice those lines a dozen times.
Hailey: You’re just saying the name now to mess with me.
me: I am but I’m not spelling it correctly in my head so I don’t think it counts. Also, I just looked it up and says that if you do say “McBeth” you can fix the curse by going outside the place where it’ll be preformed, spinning around three times, spitting and uttering a vulgar Shakespearean insult.
Hailey: That can’t possibly be right.
me: That’s what it says. If you want I can spin and spit and yell profanity outside your school but I think I have to do it for each time I said “McBeth” so it’s going to take me awhile. Worst exercise routine ever.
Hailey: You know what? It’s fine.
me: I’ll do it. “THOU ART A RUBBISH BANDWAGON! ABORTIVE BULL’S-PIZZLE! THOU LOATHSOME SCURVY DOG!” Wait…that last one turned piratey. I’ve gotta do some research.
Hailey: Please don’t do that in front of my school.
me: I’m pretty good at it.
Hailey: Weirdly so.
me: Fine. Break all your legs, my little witch.
Hailey: Break all your arms, you big weirdo.
me: Fair enough.
PS. I found a Shakespearean insult generator in case you’re looking to expand your repertoire:
