I often write notes to myself at 3am that I think are pretty brilliant at the time and then the next morning I read these same notes which seem to be from some sort of psychopath, but I thought I’d share the one I found on my nightstand this morning:
Why do the words “whose” and “shoes” rhyme if they’re spelled differently?
Like…Who’s gonna choose to light the fuze on whose shoes to lose the booze if Ms Cruz pays her dues as a ruse to take a cruise with kangaroos and ewes while drinking Mountain Dews?
I mean, that whole sentence is exactly why we shouldn’t have been allowed to invent a written language. Both because it features 14 different words with violently random spellings for the exact same sound and also because the sentence itself is ridiculous.
Anyway, this is why all spelling bees should be cancelled going forward.