This is my post from yesterday’s substack for my mom because I love her and she doesn’t understand how substacks work and wanted to read it. My substack is just a place for sharing my art each week but it’s somehow become more than that at times and I apologize for sometimes being more wordy than arty:
Last week was very peopley. My parents came to stay, and Hailey and their sweetheart came home from college, and I spent hours at the bookstore signing anything that people wanted to bring in. And so I am absolutely on-the-floor exhausted because I am a forever introvert, but also feeling so lucky that I was able to see the people I love. So many people who stopped by Nowhere had the same shaky hands I do and were helped in line by friends or family who understood their anxiety and encouraged them to do the hard thing and were proud of them for doing something that might seem so easy for others who don’t deal with mental illness, but can sometimes feel incredibly difficult even when it’s also wonderful.
One mom came in with her young daughter who was just as shy as I was at her age and she was so patient and kind and created such a lovely, safe place to encourage without shame, and the conversation I had with her daughter was like talking to me when I was little…a way of saying to little me that it will get better…that we are not alone…that all of the best people are a little bit different. I’m so lucky to be able to see this in real time. I’m so lucky to have friends and family and community who support me even when they don’t understand me, and to be able to see others being supported as well. It reminded me of the fact that sometimes we don’t always have safe places to hide when things get scary, and how important it is to be able to create those soft places inside ourselves where we can give ourselves the love and understanding we need. But more importantly it reminds me of how often others become our safe places. And also how often we heal and grow ourselves by becoming a sanctuary for others.
I have a lot of people who say incredibly kind things to me about how I’ve helped them or people they love, but I wouldn’t be able to do that without others saving me, again and again. And that means you too. If you read or listen or care then you have helped save me and I can’t tell you how much you’ve done. The ripples you send out make such differences that you may never see, but if you want to just one small example, look at me. Thank you for giving me shelter from the voices in my head that aren’t always so kind.
In case you can’t read the tiny words I wrote on this weeks drawing: “If you can’t find a safe, gentle escape, you can always build one inside of yourself… And with enough practice, you can become one for others.”
The thing inspiring me this week? Have you met Mychal? He works at he Solano Library and is probably the kindest, most joyful person ever and he always makes me smile. You should love him too.
Hugs,
Jenny