Holy shit, y’all. I just looked up and there was a fox in our yard. A fucking fox. I know this is no biggie to most people but it kind of blows my mind that we live so far out in the country that there are actual foxen that live in our hills. Also, spellcheck refuses to recognize the word “foxen” although it is clearly a word. One ox, two oxen. One fox, two foxen. This is all basic linguistic stuff here. Also, Victor and I are having a huge argument about whether or not to feed the foxen and I say no because we have a fat little pug that I don’t want to get eaten but then Victor went and threw an apple at it and I was all “WTF? We don’t feed the foxen” and he was all “I was throwing the apple at it to chase it away” but Victor is a tremendous liar and he didn’t go to pick up the apple, probably because he knows foxen love apple cider. Also, everything I know about foxen I learned from “Fantastic Mr. Fox“, which was quite awesome but I suspect not completely fact-driven. This is probably all obvious even without the explanation.
Also? Today the exterminator came back out to spray for scorpions again and he found an enormous shedded snake skin next to the house and Victor was kind of afraid to tell me about it but then I went to go look at it and it was a used paper towel. Swear to God. Then Victor was all “Dude. That’s totally a snake skin. Look at the diamond scale pattern” and I was all “That’s a textured diamond-weave to absorb more wetness. You can tell it’s a paper towel because snake skins aren’t square and perforated” and I spread it out and then he was all “Huh. That’s a fucking paper towel.”
This is all true, y’all. We’re probably not going to survive the year.