Whispered conversation I had with Victor as we were watching the movie previews before Pirates of the Caribbean, part eleventy-thousand:
me: Wait. Cars 2? Aren’t we already on, like, Cars 4? And hasn’t Puss in Boots already been done too? These previews are confusing the shit out of me.
Victor: I have no idea, but Puss in Boots is just begging for a porn parody.
me: Right? His name is Puss. His best friend is a donkey. WHO LIKES TO PUNCH. It practically writes itself.
Victor: Wait. What the shit? Stephen Spielberg is doing the new Transformers? Just how desperate are we getting?
me: Must not be a lot of scripts out there to choose from. He was probably like “Has someone already done the Puss in Boots porn parody? Yes? Damn. What’d they call it? Puss ‘n Boobs? Hell. That’s fucking brilliant. Okay, fine, let’s do Transformers, I guess.”
Victor: The Green Lantern looks…not great.
me: Okay, I would have sworn on my life that The Green Lantern came out last year. All of these movies have come out already. I’m so confused.
Victor: None of these movies have come out already.
me: I think maybe I’m Jenny from the future.
Victor: Doubtful.
me: I’m from the future, and all of these movies were shitty.
Victor: Okay, you might be from the future.