Victor: Why is that damn kitten running around the house dressed like Santa?
me: What?
Victor: Hunter S. Thomcat is running around the house in a full beard.
me: Oh. It’s one of Hailey’s feather barrettes. He won’t let go of it and he growls if you try to take it away. But I think he looks quite distinguished. Plus the other cats probably fuck with him since he’s the littlest.
Victor: So you think he’s overcompensating with a human beard.
me: No, I think he’s pretending to be Gandolf the Grey.
Victor: Or Dumbledore.
Hunter S. Thomcat: MMMMRLLLLLFFF!
me: Oh my God, that cat totally wants to be Dumbledore when he grows up.
Victor: Get used to disappointment, cat.