You know when you stick your hand into a box of triskets and then you feel to the bottom and it’s empty, and so you stick your other hand in the pop tart box and it’s empty too, and then you step back from the pantry and you’re wearing the empty snack boxes like giant ill-fitting mittens while you stare at the pantry in an vain effort to look for anything else to eat, and your husband walks in and looks at you, and you’re all “I didn’t eat all of these. They were already eaten before I got here” and your husband is like, “But why are you wearing them?” and you’re all “I. don’t. know.”
Me too.
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In unrelated news, it’s time for the weekly wrap up.
What you missed in my shop (tentatively called “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- This is my actual Halloween costume. And probably my new favorite shirt.
- Lean into the weird
What you missed on the internets:
This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:
- Cats that look like pin-up girls
- Fuck it. I’m voting for the eagle.
- We’ve gone too far.
- The internet map. (Happy to report that we have our own small planet and it’s not in any of the “vast porno galaxies”.)
This week’s wrap-up sponsored by ebook publisher Open Road Media and their Fright-Free Halloween campaign, promoting family-friendly fall cooking, craft ebooks and Halloween-themed children’s stories that take the scary out of Halloween for kids. Check out The Berenstain Bears Get the Scardies ebook. It’s like The Shining, but with bears and no corpses.