Dear random-people-I’ve-never-heard-of-before-but-who-purposely-tweet-me-to-tell-me-they-are-unfollowing-me-because-I’ve-said-something-offensive:
1. What the shit took you so long?
2. Baffled. We’ve never had any sort of a connection. You’ve never spoken to me or at me before. Basically you just went out of your way to let me know that you’re going to stop eavesdropping. It’s like strangers you saw on the bus yelling at you that they’re not sitting next to you anymore. Except, through the window. After they’re already on the sidewalk.
3. I’m writing a blog post about you, strangers-who-I-didn’t-know-existed-until-you-told-me-we’re-not-talking-anymore. Which I think makes me just as bad as you. Probably worse. A lot worse. Which I think means we have a lot in common and should be friends. Dammit.
4. I’ll miss you, stupid strangers.