Site icon The Bloggess

Xanax makes me a better mom. Because it's Xanax. Now fuck off.

As of this afternoon, 67 people have sent me this article: “Xanax Helps Me to be a Better Mom.  Half of them are pissed off at the article and want me to rant about it, and the other half are sending it to me because they want me to consider switching to the non-drug alternative mentioned in the article, which is apparently five minutes in the laundry room using the delicates setting on the dryer.  That’s not a masturbation joke, y’all.  That’s apparently what some people do instead of Xanax.  AND THAT’S FINE.

If you’re sad, do something to make yourself happy.  If you’re sick, do something to make yourself healthy.  If you have a life-threatening medical disorder then you see a doctor and sometimes you get prescribed medication to make you whole again.  Like xanax.  Or anti-depressants.  Or chemotherapy.  Whatever it takes to keep you breathing, y’all.

In short?  What-the-fuck-ever.  If spin cycles work for you then put a lock on the laundry room door and go to town.  If exercise, yoga and a sunlamp are all you need to be whole again then do that.  If you need multiple prescription drugs and behavioral therapy (and to hide under tables occasionally) then you might be me.  And that’s okay.

In fact, it’s fucking awesome.

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